Nothing Will Ever Be the Same Again!

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Worlds will live. Worlds will die.
The Scavengers in: "Nothing Will Ever Be the Same Again!"
Publisher	IDW Publishing
First published	December 7, 2016
Cover date	November 2016
Written by	Nick Roche and James Roberts
Art by	Alex Milne
Colors by	Joana Lafuente
Letters by	Chris Mowry
Editor	Carlos Guzman
Continuity	2005 IDW continuity
Chronology	Current era

The Scavengers visit Earth so Crankcase can meet his online crush, who turns out to look quite different from his profile pic.

Synopsis

Seems like a Joe named "MP3" should be pirate-themed.

The Scavengers have come to Earth so that Crankcase can meet "CONS4EVA", a fellow poster on The Big Conversation messageboard with whom he has grown close. The group sets their ship down in the New Mexico desert, but while Fulcrum and Krok are busy helping Crankcase get ready for his date, Grimlock breaks out and starts charging across the country into Texas. Keen to hide another of the Dinobot's episodes from their shipmates, Misfire and Spinister secretly take off after him, following the trail of destruction to the town of Amarillo. There, using holomatter avatars to disguise themselves as "Alex Higgins" and "Dennis Taylor", agents of M.A.S.K., they cross paths with over-keen local G.I. Joe representative and complete no-hoper MP3, right after he fails to impress a disaffected young bystander with an official G.I. Joe-branded souvenir ink pen. MP3 joins the pair in tracking Grimlock, but as they follow the Dinobot's trail to Arlington, the Joe's "Action Van" breaks down. Considering himself no longer able to help on the mission, MP3 takes his helmet off, prompting the Decepticons to have their avatars do the same... whereupon the sight of the misshapen, poorly-composited, one-eyed face Misfire has made for his avatar causes MP3 to faint! Not realizing the human has merely passed out, the two think he is dead and bury him, then head on to Arlington, where they survey the damage Grimlock has caused. Watching as an EMT resuscitates an injured woman, the pair realize their mistake with MP3, and Spinister heads back to dig him up while Misfire continues after Grimlock.

Meanwhile, back at the Weak Anthropic Principle, Crankcase, Krok, and Fulcrum step outside to look for "CONS4EVA", but no sooner have they done so than the mystery of Crankcase's penpal's identity is seemingly solved, as the massive form of Thunderwing looms over them! Having encountered the apocalyptic Decepticon before, Crankcase is paralyzed with fear, forcing Krok to hit him a smack in order to activate his weapons, blasting Thunderwing and buying them all a moment to get back inside the ship. Thunderwing pursues... then holds his hands up, revealing that he is not Thunderwing, but, in fact, one of the shape-shifting Dire Wraiths! Familiar with the alien race's evil ways, Krok is immediately untrusting, but the Wraith—who is indeed "CONS4EVA", and who unknowingly took Thunderwing's form because Crankcase talks about him a lot—explains that he does not share his species' taste for conquest and consumption, and hopes that Crankcase can help him perform "The Crossover"—a ceremony from Temptorian religion expressing ultimate loyalty to the Temptorian deity known as "The Brand", which opens a portal that leads the way to a new life. Crankcase laments his poor romantic luck, but otherwise has no desire to leave his life behind; still, he agrees to help his new friend perform the ceremony. The Wraith goes on to detail how The Crossover requires the involvement of a third species, at which point Spinister arrives with the unconscious MP3.

Me Grimlock can has sord-burger?

Misfire finally catches up to Grimlock in Dallas, where he is digging through a construction site. Grimlock hurls a boulder at Misfire's avatar, prompting the Decepticon to transform and sternly tell him that he can't continue to act so carelessly, especially where there's no obvious objective to his actions. From the dirt, Grimlock suddenly pulls a huge sword, and charges at Misfire... only, rather than attack, he sadly presents him with the weapon, which bears the names of Grimlock's Dinobot comrades, all carved in the hilt. Realizing that the sword is Grimlock's, left on Earth before the Dinobot leader was taken to Garrus-9, Misfire is thrilled that Grimlock has displayed a real memory, having feared that he was lost for good when he ran off. "Never so happy to lose a bet with myself", Misfire grins... to which Grimlock smirks and replies, "Loser..".

Back at the Scavengers' ship, Spinister apologizes to MP3 for burying him alive. Fortunately, the G.I. Joe has survived the experience by using the casing of his souvenir pen as a breathing tube! The glum MP3 explains that he is the last member of the G.I. Joe "Admin Force", the paper-pushers of the group who have all gone their own way. Tired of the job himself, he has even written a letter of resignation that he always keeps on his person, but has never had the courage to post. Intrigued by the prospect of getting to live a new life, MP3 agrees to take part in The Crossover... but when the Wraith, Crankcase, and he enact the "Brand loyalty" ceremony, the portal that it opens is so tiny, none of them are able to fit through it!

A little later, after Misfire and Grimlock have returned, Crankcase asks the Wraith and MP3 if they want to join the Scavengers. The Wraith politely declines, interested in finding his own way in life, having decided after meeting the Scavengers that maybe being "different" isn't so bad. MP3, on the other hand, is raring to go, and runs off to send his resignation letter to Joe command through the little portal. Fulcrum has other ideas; the big-chinned 'Con hates humans, and quickly blasts off, leaving MP3 desperately trying to reach through the portal to get his letter back!

Featured characters

(Numbers indicate order of appearance.)

Quotes

"When I want your opinion, Fulcrum, I'll kill myself."

—Krok

"It's humans I hate. I mean have you seen them? Absolutely covered in pores. And when they exert themselves they secrete this— this—" (gags) "I can't even describe it."

—Fulcrum

"Be who you are. Within reason, obviously. Be a less abrasive version of who you are."

—Krok gives Crankcase dating advice

"Typical! It's typical of my luck! Every time I take the tiniest step towards some loose approximation of happiness, fate comes along to shoot me in the face!"

—Crankcase

"The Brand is a deity—one that's normally worshipped by the Temptorians. Dire Wraiths steal everything—including gods."

—Krok

"At least three distinct species are required to make it a proper crossover. With just two, it's... we have a word for it: t'mup."

—CONS4EVA

"Again, about the premature burial... I'm sorry you weren't dead. Also: I'm glad you weren't dead."
"I was conscious when you did it, Spinister! I resisted...!"
"I thought it was human post-death reflex syndrome...!"

—Spinister and MP3

"I hope you're proud of yourselves, 'cos that wasn't bad for your first crossover. Sure, we didn't get what we asked, but I think it might be The Brand's way of telling us to make the most of this life. Or, as they call it, the 'one shot'."

—CONS4EVA

Notes

Continuity notes

• We first heard about The Big Conversation website back in issue #45.
• Misfire explains to Spinister that G.I. Joe is led by Duke; however, Misfire's data is outdated, Duke having departed G.I. Joe in between G.I. Joe vol. 3 and G.I. Joe vol. 4 (over two years prior in-universe).
• Crankcase does not wish to disclose his alt-mode beforehand due to the risk of trolling by neo-Functionists; the Decepticon movement and the Great War broke out largely as a result of Functionist oppression.
• Been a good few years since we saw Thunderwing; he last appeared under the control of Jhiaxus in Spotlight: Sideswipe, just over eight years before the publication of this issue. As explained in footnotes, he attacked Nebulos in Stormbringer #3, in which Crankcase—making his first IDW continuity appearance—was indeed shown to be part of the infiltration unit on the planet.
• The planet Temptoria previously appeared in issue #12.
• Though not mentioned by name, the third and final city Grimlock ends up in must be Dallas, as that was—per the footnote in this issue—where he fought Shockwave in the final issue of Maximum Dinobots. Grimlock's sword was last seen in that issue when he stabbed it into the ground so he could free his hands to attend to a wounded Sludge, and it has evidently remained there ever since. We'd be remiss if we didn't point out that the sword designs don't match between issues, but we'll chalk that up to artist variance.
  • The sword is scored with the names of the other Dinobots, and uses Slug's original name, having been left behind before he was informed of the "offensiveness" of his name.
• Grimlock displayed the ability to suddenly and inexplicably speak despite appearing incapable of the feat in issue #46.

Transformers references

• Other posters on The Big Conversation include "Starscream's Ghost", referring to the Generation 1 cartoon episode of the same name and the legacy of supernatural shenanigans surrounding Starscream it birthed, and "Cassette Man", named after the original Micro Change toy that became Generation 1 Soundwave.
• Aquaria, the planet which CONS4EVA claims to have been stationed on originates from James Roberts's 2001 fan novel Eugenesis.

Other franchise references

• John Barber asked Roche and Roberts to "do an Ennis" and emulate DC's Hitman, a DC Comics series by Garth Ennis that did very barbed and sneaky contributions to crossovers. Roberts cited the Hitman stories for DC One Million (which gleefully skewers the very concept) and Final Night (a bar conversation as people wait for the apocalypse to end) as examples.^[1] Unlike some of the Ennis stories, they didn't mean to diss Revolution.^[2]
• Brandon compares Grimlock to the robotic animals of the Zoids franchise, an 80s toyline produced by Tomy. Though today better known for its 1999 relaunch in Japan and the various anime series that were produced as a result over the following years (that's how Brandon knows about it, we imagine!), Roberts and Roche are assuredly more familiar with the brand from the European version of the 80s toyline and the highly memorable Zoids comic published by Marvel UK to go along with it.
• MP3 gets cut off trying to deliver the famous G.I. Joe PSA catchphrase, "Knowing is half the battle." PSAs were recorded and animated for the Generation 1 cartoon that saw the Autobots use this catchphrase too, but they never aired.
• Misfire and Spinister quote the M.A.S.K. theme song in a substantially more on-the-nose way than the main Revolution series did.
• Action Van... Action Man. Admin Force... Action Force. Get it? 'Course you get it. Now go do something with your life.
• The portal opened by The Crossover ceremony, which grants anyone who passes through it a new life, depositing them somewhere else, seems to owe something to the Siege Perilous from Marvel's X-Men comics, which accomplishes the same effect.
• Crankcase refers to the Dire Wraiths as "the reason Megatron steered clear of the Dark Nebula", home of the Dire Wraiths in the Marvel Rom: Spaceknight comics; but see "Errors", below.
  • Both the Rom and Transformers franchises independently utilized a "Dark Nebula" back in the 80s, and appropriately enough they have been worked together for the newly unveiled Hasbro Universe.

Real-life references

• With its talk of "brand loyalty" and "t'mup"s, this whole issue is about poking fun at big comic crossovers in general, and its title is a reference to the hyperbolic promotion such events often receive. The phrase was genuinely used to promote Marvel's "House of M" event in 2005 (the first major modern crossover event after a dry period of many years which reintroduced the concept and made it a regular, recurring fixture of the comic book industry landscape again) and has become a bit of a parodic buzz-phrase in the years since.
• Real-world landmarks visible in Grimlock's rampage through Amarillo, Texas include the Amarillo National Bank, the Courtyard hotel, and the Petroleum Building. Later, in Arlington, the damaged AT&T Stadium can be seen, before MP3's radio reports that he has also hit Fort Worth, no big loss (sorry, Fort Worth!)
• Misfire and Spinister's human aliases are taken from rival snooker players Alex Higgins and Dennis Taylor (hence the subtle gag in MP3's line about them "bringing tricks to the table"). Clearly not grasping stereotypical norms regarding human sexual dimorphism, Spinister's female holoform is "Dennis" (and towers over Misfire's "Alex")!
• One of the other members of G.I. Joe's "Admin Force" is named "Blue Tick", after the famous Twitter verification icon.

Errors

• Maybe we're overthinking the comedy here, but Misfire's got two eyes, a nose, and a mouth in proper human proportion on his own face, so why wouldn't he know to replicate that on his holo-avatar's face...?
• CONS4EVA's ability to shapeshift into a form of his choosing, whilst something Marvel's Dire Wraith were capable of, is not consistent with how they have been depicted in this continuity; in the ROM comic, it has been established that IDW's Wraiths essentially function like parasites, having to merge themselves with a victim's body in order to take on their appearance. Similarly, given how the Marvel Rom license is known to have worked, it's unlikely that the IDW Dire Wraiths hail from the Dark Nebula (although it's possible the Dark Nebula in this continuity is merely a Wraith-controlled area, rather than their point of origin).

Other trivia

• This issue was originally intended to be released in November, prior to the final issue of Revolution. Delays pushed it into December, after the crossover had concluded, but that's not a problem since it's a humorous issue not directly connected to anything going on in the event.

Covers (4)

• Regular cover: Misfire and Crankcase grab some takeout with Rom, Matt Trakker, Brad Turner, Gloria Baker, Scarlett, Snake-Eyes, Roadblock, and Lady Jaye, by Alex Milne and Josh Perez. M.A.S.K. vehicle "Hurricane" is sitting off to the side by Trakker's Thunderhawk; neither this vehicle nor its classic driver Hondo MacLean have appeared in IDW continuity yet.
• Subscription cover A: Grimlock versus Rom and lesser-known M.A.S.K. operative Ace Riker, by Nick Roche and Josh Burcham. Riker is based on his 1987 action figure, wearing a black, silver, and gold flight-suit and his "Cruise Control" mask, but the mask has been colored red like the "Ricochet" mask worn by his 1986 action figure.
• Subscription cover B: Blank cover for sketches
• Retailer incentive cover: Grimlock, Misfire, and Spinister, by Ken Christiansen

• 

  The food sucks here. Let's go to Burger Bot.

• 

  Where's Riker's trombone?

• 

  Blank cover for sketches.

• 

  Didn't these guys see Jurassic World?

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• Lost Light #1
• Revolution tie-in one-shots
• End of Revolution and the start of Reconstruction, including Optimus Prime #1 and M.A.S.K. #1.

Reprints

• Revolution: Transformers (March 8, 2017) ISBN 1631408429 / ISBN 978-1631408427
  • Collects Till All Are One: Revolution #1, The Transformers (2012): Revolution #1, More than Meets the Eye: Revolution #1, and The Transformers Holiday Special.
  • Trade paperback format.

• Revolution (March 29, 2017) ISBN 978-1631409370
  • Collects Revolution issues #0–5 and all the tie-in one-shots.
  • Bonus material includes a cover gallery.
  • Hardcover format, exclusively sold through the comic book direct market.

• Transformers: The Definitive G1 Collection: Volume 81: Revolution (February 19, 2020)
  • Collects Revolution issues #0–5, Till All Are One: Revolution #1, The Transformers (2012): Revolution #1, and More than Meets the Eye: Revolution #1.
  • Bonus material includes an intro from Simon Furman.
  • Hardcover format.

• The Transformers: The IDW Collection Phase Three: Volume 1 (November 17, 2021) ISBN 1684058422 / ISBN 978-1684058426
  • Collects Revolution issues #0–5, Till All Are One: Revolution #1 & issues #5–8, The Transformers (2012): Revolution #1, Action Man: Revolution #1, More than Meets the Eye: Revolution #1, and Revolutionaries issues #1–4.
  • Hardcover format.

• 

  Revolution: Transformers – cover art by Marcelo Matere

• 

  Revolution – cover art by James Biggie

• 

  The Definitive G1 Collection: Volume 81: Revolution – cover art by Dreamwave Productions (Blitzwing) and Fico Ossio (retro)

• 

  The IDW Collection Phase Three: Volume 1 – cover art by Sara Pitre-Durocher

References

External links

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