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Today's featured article Carnies are a nomadic people that originated on the steppes of Central Asia. Long known to the West for their seemingly strange customs and frequent wars with Muscovy’s infant Czarist kingdoms (and, later, the Russian Empire), Carnies have been instrumental in both the shaping of world history and the advancement of games based upon throwing balls into or at something from three to six feet away. Archeological evidence suggests that Carnies originated on the steppes of Central Asia. Like most nomadic peoples, Carnie society depended heavily upon a tribal- or clan-based system. In the case of Carnies, a clan was known as a Carnival, and a group of many Carnivals in one place was known as a County Fair. (Full article...) Recently featured: This page does NOT exist Bubbles the Clown Nevermind Trump vs. Biden Archive · Vote for featured articles · You can vote for your favorite articles to be featured. More of the best of Uncyclopedia Download article feed plugin for Google Desktop edit Selected anniversaries December 15: International Day of Björk (Iceland) 1939 - Classic movie Gone With the Wind first premieres as a travelling flipbook exhibition. 1945 - General Douglas MacArthur orders the Japanese to stop using those weird toilets with the tubes that spray water up your butt. 1978 - After the United States recognizes the People's Republic of China as the real China, Taiwan sinks into the sea. 1981 - The first suicide bombing is carried out in Beirut, Lebanon, declared a revolution in the terroristic arts. 1996 - Weirdo sends Björk (Pictured) a letter bomb after his copy of Homogenic is lost in the mail. 1970 - Soviet space probe lands on Venus, is declared the new "red planet." 1973 - The American Psychiatric Association adds "likes the taste of creamed corn" to list of debilitating mental illnesses. 2011 - Morphle is created by a man from The Slenderlands Archived Anniversaries	suggest Word of the day procrastination Try to use it in conversation. Knowledge is power. edit In the news "He ah-no give me ah-good coverage!" Google reveals least popular searches of 2024 Jay-Z and Beyonce sit their children down and have a talk with them Luigi cosplays as Robin Hood and guns down health insurance CEO; (Pictured) Americans rejoice South Korea's president tries to order pizza, declares martial law instead Biden pardons Princess Peach and Blossom ... and Hunter... and Fauci... Special Counsel Jack Smith pardons President-elect turkey, meaning he gets away with January 6th Cicely Tyson demolishes Aaron Paul in Netflix "boxing" match Project 2025 to be implemented in 2026, riots ensue The Onion buys InfoWars. Extra true conspiracy theories coming soon! "Nope!" says, judge Epstein pal Trump picks sex pest pedophile as attorney general... only for him to pull out Trump picks Led Zeppelin to lead EPA Obama smears poop on daycare Kardashian and Aniston endorse bestiality UnNews publishes official 2024 post-election guide for liberals having to deal with Trump Joe Biden named winner of 2024 election, confusion erupts in America 2024 U.S. election cancelled due to absence of electoral votes, anarchy likely to follow TikToker Peanut the Squirrel swatted, killed for "illegal guns and drugs" Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump Dance" • Bill Belichick going insane Recent deaths: Brian Thompson (United Healthcare CEO) • Democrat party • Diddy's career • The Eras Tour • Alabama football's championship bid • The white guy from The Mod Squad Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Benjamin Netanyahu • Jay-Z's career and freedom • Kate Middleton • Aaron Rodgers' career More Current Events at UnNews News edit Did you know... ... that Bill Cowher isn't actually that fireman that saved you, ma'am? ... that the The Root of All Evil is fishsticks? Do you care... ... that Peyton Manning knows Terrell Owens is the REAL reason he's not playing Today? ... that when it says "Do not try at home", it actually means "Do not try this at all"? Read More
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Quarterback of the Month and Waterboy of the Month David Gerard. What needs to be said about this extraordinary person? He lived life to the fullest. He scaled Everest and swam the Marianas. He piloted a kayak through the rivers of the Yukon with naught but a broken compass to guide him. Now he sits in a nursing home: Alzheimer's has rotted his brain to such an extent that he no longer recognizes himself as the WotM-winning author of Voice Chat, Fountainhead Earth and X Window System. If a picture is worth a thousand words, those on Noob of the Month MoneySign's image gallery are good for an average of at least 940 words apiece (he loses points because his Taste picture offends the Greeks). Classic Money highlights include Hazard Dogs and the tuberiffic logo for UnNews, which MS constructed entirely out of string, spittle and beer can tabs. Congratulations to Rcmurphy, this year's Most Valuable Player! Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Past Winners: 2005/2006

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