UnNews:Project 2025 delayed, causing riots
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
Friday, November 15, 2024
WASHINGTON D.C., United States -- Despite his past criticism of the plan, President-elect Donald Trump has decided to implement Project 2025 during his presidency.
At 12:34 A.M. on November 14th, Mr. Trump made a Truth Social post, stating, "I'm going to implement Project 2025 since they are some of the MOST BIG LEAGUE supporters of me. I will MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN!".
While Mr. Trump did make the post in the middle of the night, he did manage to spell everything correctly, unlike last time, perhaps suggesting that this was a legitimate endorsement and not his drunk ramblings. 6 hours later, Mr. Trump made a similar Truth Social post, stating, "PROJECT 2025 contains some of the truest American patriots. Together, we will MAKE AMERICA GREAT AGAIN BIG LEAGUE!," suggesting that this endorsement was serious and also suggesting that Mr. Trump may be developing dementia.
Conservatives throughout America rejoiced, and even those who strongly opposed Project 2025 at first showed their support. In an interview with a progressive who wishes to remain anonymous, he said, "Although I didn't initially support Project 2025, we must rally behind it now. We will make a new American nation," displaying an unexpected change of attitude. Even The Honorable Joe Biden, Mr. Trump's opponent in 2020, has shown his support, with him releasing a speech on his Instagram, stating "Uhh... Hi Americans, I've heard that there's this thing called Project 2025... damn, it's already 2025? I thought it was still 1995. This is probably some future plan or something, and uhh... there's this man called Donald Trump who's promoting Project 2025. I think that name sounds familiar, and I don't really know who he is, but he reminds me of a duck. I don't really know who this Donald Trump guy or this Project 2025 things are, but I support them anyway because I think they sound cool."
The celebrations and brief unification of the American people were short-lived, however. Almost exactly 12 hours after making the Truth Social post endorsing Project 2025, Mr. Trump made a third Truth Social post, "I will spend 2025 making sure that Project 2025 will work, and I PROMISE that the first policies for Project 2025 will be passed on January 1st, 2026! #MakeAmericaGreatAgain".
To Mr. Trump, the post probably seemed innocent enough. On the other hand, the American people were completely outraged. This was an absolute betrayal. They were lied to. There was no Project 2025 if it was coming in 2026. Quickly, rioters took to the streets. Conservatives and progressives were unified, once again, unified against such a horrendous lie. Thousands have been trampled in their righteous anger, including an UnNews reporter trying to interview the rioters. We can only hope that this issue resolves swiftly.
On the positive side, the massive amounts of anger flowing through every American at the moment have definitively proven that The Incredible Hulk is not hiding anywhere in the United States.