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From today's featured article 

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MIAMI, Florida — Late Doors singer Jim Morrison surprised everyone but himself when he appeared in person as the Florida Board of Executive Clemency voted unanimously to posthumously pardon him four decades after he was convicted of open exposure and indecent profanity.

Outgoing Florida Gov. Charlie Crist – an admitted Doors fan and recent Senatorial loser to a conservative no-name – proposed the official pardon of the late singer, who was convicted for a disputed incident during a Miami, Florida, concert. When directly asked about the Board's hearing, Morrison told the stunned but admiring media, "Hey! Fuck you! I wouldn’t miss this goddamn case for shit!" He then exposed himself.

Morrison's widow, Patricia Kennealy Morrison, opposed the pardon and begged the Clemency Board to increase the charges against her late husband, who was sitting behind her exposing himself in the first row. She said she was not surprised at the outcome, given that the fans and a few hundred of Morrison's surviving groupies were supporting it. But she admitted she was highly surprised to see her late husband back in action. "He won’t even speak to me, the stuck-up bastard!" Kennealy lamented to CNN. "And since the original charges and trial were a publicity stunt to begin with, it doesn't surprise me that the pardon should attract even more publicity. My husband did not deserve a pardon and his record – in fact all his records – shouldn’t have been expunged, and he is mocking us as I speak." (Full article...)

Did you know... 

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  • ... that the bird is equal to or greater than the word?
  • ... that Oscar Mayer has a way with B-O-L-O-G-N-A?
  • ... that two wrongs don't make a right, but two Wrights make an airplane?
  • ... that the only thing money can't buy is poverty?
  • ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
  • ... that, despite the invention of the doorbell, knock-knock jokes have yet to be replaced by ding-dong jokes?
  • ... that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?

In the news 

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"He ah-no give me ah-good coverage!"

Ongoing: Eurovision Song Contest • Russian Invasion • Israel-Hamas conflict • United States presidential election aftermath • NBA and NHL seasons • Athletes doing the "Trump Dance" • Bill Belichick going insane
Recent deaths: Brian Thompson (United Healthcare CEO) • Democrat party • Diddy's career • The Eras Tour • Alabama football's championship bid • The white guy from The Mod Squad
Upcoming deaths: Vladimir Putin • Bashar al-Assad • Diddy's freedom • Benjamin Netanyahu • Jay-Z's career and freedom • Kate Middleton • Aaron Rodgers' career

On this day 

Obocop, get it?

December 16: Fun With Typos Day

Picture of the day

U2 Falls on Hard Times
 During the late 1990s, the band U2 fell on hard times.

Image credit: RadicalX
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