More children than ever are in need of safe, nurturing homes in New South Wales, but there aren’t nearly enough foster parents putting up their hands to help. It’s no longer just older children and teenagers that charity organisations such as The Benevolent Society are finding difficult to place. There’s a growing need for children of all ages to find a safe home, from babies up. Kids in care need help for periods of time ranging from one or two nights up to a long-term placement that will see them into adulthood.
“It’s just amazing to watch kids in care grow into really well-rounded and just lovely teenagers and young adults,” says Alanna Hughes, The Benevolent Society’s Fostering Young Lives operations manager. “Even some of those kids that have gone through a really rocky period while in care – their carers have been resilient and worked through those rocky times with us – and then to see those kids stay on in those homes and go to uni or get out into the world of employment, it’s wonderful.”
In many cases, children who turn 18 while in care stay on as part of the family. “For them to know their carer is there for them, essentially for the rest of their lives, it’s great when it works out like that,” Hughes says.
Although long-term placements can eventuate, wherever possible the goal is to restore a foster child back to their birth family, and foster parents play a vital role in that process.
“It’s a low place that everybody’s in when a child first comes into care, but then being able to see that child settle and thrive, and observe their birth family turn their lives around and do everything in their power to have their children restored to their care, a lot of our shorter term carers would say that’s the most rewarding thing about doing it – keeping a child safe in the interim, but supporting them to go back to a safe environment with their family,” Hughes says.
Why foster parenting could be the most rewarding thing you’ve ever done
The Benevolent Society isn’t affiliated with a religion and believes families come in all shapes and sizes. “We have heterosexual couples, we have same-sex couples, we have single female carers, we have single male carers,” Hughes says. “We have people that can provide long-term care we have people who are only able to give us a weekend a month – that’s our respite carers.”
“It’s a hard job but our carers are amazing in what they do, and although it is hard, it can be extremely rewarding.”
The process from applying to become a foster parent to taking in a first child can take up to six months. As well as having to pass criminal record and working with children checks, potential foster parents are assessed on their suitability and whether they can provide a nurturing and financially secure home for a child.
Children in care need a bedroom of their own and, if a couple is applying to foster together, they need to have been in a stable relationship for at least two years. If biological children are living in the home, they need to be two years older than any kids coming into the home for short or long periods, and they are included in the assessment to make sure they are on board with the idea.
“There are lots of children who need safe homes and we’re really passionate about bringing new carers on board and supporting them in their journey,” Hughes says.
Potential foster parents can take their time in deciding if it’s right for them. “We like to give people time in between their assessment sessions to digest the information and to reflect and then be able to come back into the next session with any additional questions,” Hughes says. “So as much as we really urgently need carers, we also don’t rush people into it because we know it’s a big commitment.”
Helping a child heal is a team effort
Being motivated to look after children for the right reasons is, of course, crucial, but being able to dedicate quality time to a child in your care is vital too.
Caring for a child who has come into care is not the same as caring for your own child, Hughes says. Quite a different approach can be needed when it comes to traumatised young people who have suffered abuse. Developmental trauma can affect a child’s ability to form secure attachments with others, and they can be trapped in a perpetual state of fight, flight or freeze. This can manifest in a variety of behaviours, ranging from withdrawal to acting out, or an inability to focus or sit still.
Foster parents aren’t expected to go it alone in caring for a child – The Benevolent Society provides plenty of support. Foster parents are viewed as a key component of a whole therapeutic team that wraps around a child when they come into care. Carers can reach out for assistance or advice when they need it, and can lean on the support of speech therapists, behaviour support therapists and occupational therapists to give a child the help they need.
With commitment, consistency and time, Hughes says it’s “totally, 100% possible” for kids in care to heal and look forward to a brighter future, no matter what they’ve been through. “We see it time and time again,” she says.
Find out more and register your interest in fostering a child today