Sources of Self-Esteem

While the primary source of self-esteem can only be internal, there is little question that outside sources whether they be friends, colleagues, beliefs or social mores also have a significant impact on our level of self-esteem. In brief, internal sources are factors that reside within the individual, whether they are ideals, beliefs, practices or behaviors. External sources of self-esteem are factors present in the environment that impact us. Growing up in an environment conducive to a healthy sense of self-worth greatly increases the chance that a person will have an appropriate level of self-esteem.
PEOPLE WITH HIGH SELF ESTEEM

Positive
People with a healthy level of self-esteem: Firmly believe in certain values and principles, and are ready to defend them even when finding [14] opposition, feeling secure enough to modify them in light of experience. Are able to act according to what they think to be the best choice, trusting their own judgment, and [14] not feeling guilty when others don't like their choice. Do not lose time worrying excessively about what happened in the past, nor about what could happen in the future. They learn from the past and plan for the future, but live in the present [14] intensely. Fully trust in their capacity to solve problems, not hesitating after failures and difficulties. They ask [14] others for help when they need it. Consider themselves equal in dignity to others, rather than inferior or superior, while accepting [14] differences in certain talents, personal prestige or financial standing. Take for granted that they are an interesting and valuable person for others, at least for those with [14] whom they have a friendship. Resist manipulation, collaborate with others only if it seems appropriate and convenient.
[14]

Admit and accept different internal feelings and drives, either positive or negative, revealing those [14] drives to others only when they choose. Are able to enjoy a great variety of activities.
[14]

Are sensitive to feelings and needs of others; respect generally accepted social rules, and claim no [14] right or desire to prosper at others' expense. Can work toward finding solutions and voice discontent without belittling themselves or others when [30] challenges arise. Effectively manage the inner critic (negative internal voice we all have)
[31

People who struggle with their self-esteem are often advised to seek out people who are successful, confident and have high self-esteem. Of course its not as simple to just watch someone who is outwardly comfortable and hope that will rub off and improve your own self-esteem. It wont. If youre going to improve your self-esteem you need to be committed to making some changes and also putting in some practice. However, it is useful to spend some time with people you know with high self-esteem and observe some of the specific characteristic that are common with people who are confident and comfortable in their own skin. Listed below are 7 common traits. 1. Belief in themselves: People who have high self-esteem have confidence in their own abilities. This isnt a case of false self-confidence. They recognise what theyre good at, are confident that they are able to improve where necessary and unlike people with low self-esteem, believe that they deserve to do better. The effect of this is that they are often ambitious in their chosen field and do well in their careers as they consistently strive for improvement and personal success. They dont waste time indulging in negative self -talk. 2. Know what they want or need: People with high self-esteem generally have clear ideas about what they want or need and are able to communicate these needs and wants to others. 3. Effective communication skills: Its common for people with high self-esteem to be good communicators. This includes having good listening skills which leave them open to taking advice, being open to change and new ideas. 4. Drive to succeed: Not surprisingly people with high self-esteem have the drive to succeed. Some people withlow self-esteem have similar drive, but the difference is that people with high self-esteem are generally more flexible and find it easier to overcome challenges and disappointments along the way. They dont worry about failure and even when they do fail, they have the inner resources to learn from the failure and then move on. 5. Comfortable with change: Because people with high self-esteem are comfortable with change, they enthusiastically seek out new opportunities and are open to embracing new ideas. They are also happy to learn new skills to support them with any new challenges. 6. Enjoy healthy relationships: With their good communication skills and their enthusiasm to succeed, people with high self-esteem generally enjoy good healthy relationships and are able to accept constructive criticism, without letting it dent their confidence. Because of their confidence they are rarely competitive with others because they are comfortable with their own abilities 7. Goal-orientated: The almost inbred confidence that someone with high self-esteem has, means that they are very focussed on self-improvement and success and are often good at planning and setting goals in a methodical way, as well as achieving them. If you have low self-esteem its easy to envy those people who exude confidence and have high self -esteem. Probably the best thing that you can learn from people who have high self-esteem is that they are comfortable with change and are prepared to have a go. That may sound overly simplistic but if youre struggling with low self -esteem its only you who can make the commitment to change, reduce the neg ative and take a risk.

Characteristics of low self-esteem[NEGATIVE] Typically, a person with low self-esteem: Is extremely critical of themselves Downplays or ignores their positive qualities Judges themselves to be inferior to their peers

Uses negative words to describe themselves such as stupid, fat, ugly or unlovable Has discussions with themselves (this is called self talk) that are always negative, critical and self blaming Assumes that luck plays a large role in all their achievements and doesnt take the credit for them Blames themselves when things go wrong instead of taking into account other things over which they have no control such as the actions of other people or economic forces Doesnt believe a person who compliments them. Low self-esteem and quality of life

A low self-esteem can reduce the quality of a persons life in many different ways, including: Negative feelings the constant self-criticism can lead to persistent feelings of sadness, depression, anxiety, anger, shame or guilt. Relationship problems for example they may tolerate all sorts of unreasonable behaviour from partners because they believe they must earn love and friendship, cannot be loved or are not loveable. Alternatively, a person with low self-esteem may feel angry and bully other people. Fear of trying the person may doubt their abilities or worth and avoid challenges. Perfectionism a person may push themselves and become an over-achiever to atone for what they see as their inferiority. Fear of judgement they may avoid activities that involve other people, like sports or social events, because they are afraid they will be negatively judged. The person feels self-conscious and stressed around others and constantly looks for signs that people dont like them. Low resilience a person with low self-esteem finds it hard to cope with a challenging life event because they already believe themselves to be hopeless. Lack of self-care the person may care so little that they neglect or abuse themselves, for example, drink too much alcohol. Self-harming behaviours low self-esteem puts the person at increased risk of self-harm, for example, eating disorder, drug abuse or suicide.