'My dad won't come to my wedding because my mom will be there'
A woman has taken to social media to ask for advice, after her father told her he wouldn't attend her wedding if her mother - his ex-wife - is there.
A woman turned to Reddit to share her familial struggles as she plans her 2027 wedding. Her father, estranged from both her and her supportive mother, refuses to attend if the mother is present, taking his side of the family with him.
She explains: "I (25F) and my fiance (26M) got engaged this year, 2024, and are planning a wedding in October of 2027. We want to make sure we can afford the wedding of our dreams, so we planned for a long engagement and settled on 3 years from now.
"My mother is so supportive, and has always been the rock in my life, meanwhile, my father and I didn't speak for a few years while I was pregnant with my first son, and part of my pregnancy with my second son.
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"I am his only child, and even when I was pregnant he never reached out. I cut contact because he turns a blind eye to my mental health and all of my diagnosis, but he somehow still blames me for not reaching out sooner."
Detailing the tense dynamics further, she said: "My father and his family always hated my mother, and didn't shy away from bad-mouthing her whenever I was around, so it's not a surprise necessarily, but my mom is putting in all of this effort and money into our wedding with us, my dad refused to help pay for it, and now states that he won't be attending if my mother is there, nor will my aunts, uncles, cousins or grandparents."
"My cousin was actually supposed to be one of my bridesmaids, so that's down the drain I guess. Would I be a terrible person for drifting away again? It doesn't seem like he wants to change for the better, and I don't want my kids dealing with the same situations I dealt with."
Reddit users chimed in with their takes.
One social media user wrote: "Definitely feel free to cut your dad out, but don't just take his word for it about the rest of the family, especially the cousin. If you feel close enough to ask her to be in the wedding party, you should be close enough to discuss the matter.
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Another person chimed in: "Invite everyone and let them decide. If your father continues acting this way, you can absolutely go no contact."
And someone else said: "You've already stated your mom is you rock so why would this even be a question in your mind?
"Ditch the dad and enjoy your beautiful wedding with friends/family and give your mom the place she deserves like walking you down the aisle."
