Bicentennial Man (1999)
Wendy Crewson: Ma'am
Photos
Quotes
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Andrew Martin : May one, sir? Is now a good time?
'Ma'am' Martin : What? A good time for what?
Andrew Martin : Last night, Sir taught...
Sir : No, no, no, don't blame me Andrew. Just... go ahead.
Andrew Martin : Thank you sir
Andrew Martin : [Very fast] Two cannibals were eating a clown. One turns to the other and says "Does this taste funny to you?" How do you make a hanky dance? Put a little boogie in it! What is a brunette between two blondes? A translator! Do you know why blind people don't like to sky-dive? It scares their dogs! A man with demensia is driving on the freeway. His wife calls him on the mobile phone and says "Sweetheart, I heard there's someone driving the wrong way on the freeway." He says "One? There's hundreds!" What's silent and smells like worms? Bird farts. It must have been an engineer who designed the human body. Who else would put a waste processing plant next to a recreation area? A woman goes into a doctor's office, and the doctor says "Do you mind if I numb your breasts?" "Not at all." *makes 'motor-boating' noise. "Num-num-num-num."
Andrew Martin : [Family chuckles] One did it sir!
Sir : Andrew, it was fine, but we might want to talk about appropriatness and um, and timing.
Andrew Martin : It's ten-fifteen sir.
[Family laughs hysterically]
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'Miss' Grace Martin - Age 9 : Oh, Aaaandreeeew! Could you come up?
Andrew Martin : [at the first floor, walks to her] Yes, miss?
'Miss' Grace Martin - Age 9 : Andrew, would you please open the window?
Andrew Martin : One is glad to be of service.
[He opens the window]
Andrew Martin : [turns back to Grace] A lovely breeze!
'Miss' Grace Martin - Age 9 : [with an arrogant gaze] Now jump.
Andrew Martin : [jumps, jumps, jumps, jumps]
'Miss' Grace Martin - Age 9 : No! Out the window!
Andrew Martin : [thus jumps out of the window]
Sir : [yet playing chess with his wife] Did you hear something?
'Ma'am' Martin : An earthquake?
