Photos
Quotes
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Walter Crandell : [at the hospital with a broken leg] I fell off the roof!
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : [glares at Kenny] What was he doing on the roof, Kenny?
Kenny Crandell : I don't know! I wasn't with him, but I should've been! I mean not on the roof, but I should've been keeping an eye on him, spending quality time with him, reading "Green Eggs and Ham" to him or some shit like that.
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Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : You have spent over $3,000?
Zach Crandell , Kenny Crandell , Melissa Crandell , Walter Crandell : [sheepishly look at her]
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : You're grounded! You are ALL grounded! How could you steal from me?
Kenny Crandell : Well, now, they didn't really steal. They "borrowed". They were just following your irresponsible example.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : Oh, shut up, Kenny! I am in deep SHIT!
Melissa Crandell : Quit your job. Get out while you can.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : I'm an embezzler. They're gonna throw me in prison.
Zach Crandell : Nah, the judge will probably go easy on you considering that you're a minor.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : I'm not gonna give up. I'll keep working. I'll... work overtime if I have to. A few more paychecks, I'll be able to put it back and no one's gonna know, right? I'm innocent!
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Walter Crandell : She doesn't look dead.
Zach Crandell : That's because it just happened. So you can't really tell, like on "MacGyver".
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Kenny Crandell : Don't you ever go outside?
Walter Crandell : Nope, no TV, and no prizes.
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Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : Look, we are a family of felons. Our summer freedom's going to be a winter prison unless I get some help around here. I want the house spick-and-span by Saturday night or I'm turning us all in. Are you with me?
Kenny Crandell : Guys, what do you say?
Walter Crandell , Zach Crandell , Melissa Crandell : Yeah.
Kenny Crandell : Yeah? Come on, guys, what do you say?
Walter Crandell , Zach Crandell , Melissa Crandell : YEAH!
Kenny Crandell : YEAH! We're with you, Sue, ROCK AND ROLL!
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Kenny Crandell : Um... what should we do with her body?
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : Call an ambulance, call the cops, I don't know. Well... I mean they're gonna come and get her and they're gonna ask us a lotta questions...
Kenny Crandell : They'll probably blame us.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : [scared of the thought] They'll definitely call Mom!
Melissa Crandell : SHE'LL blame us.
Kenny Crandell : Yeah, she'll hop the next flight home and then be in our faces.
Sue Ellen "Swell" Crandell : I don't want Mom to come home.
Zach Crandell : I don't either.
Melissa Crandell : No way.
Walter Crandell : Me too.
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Walter Crandell : [Kenny serves burnt black Belgian waffles] Doesn't look like Julia's.
Kenny Crandell : Shut up, quizzoid, and eat.
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Walter Crandell : [watching a game show, trying to guess the answer] Alaska... Alaska... Alaska container... Alaska... spill.
[Mrs Sturak turns the TV off]
Walter Crandell : Hey! I was watching that!
Mrs. Sturak : TV rots your brains!
[picks up first volume of the encyclopedia and tosses it to Walter]
Mrs. Sturak : Go to your room! I expect a complete report tomorrow morning on the life of the aardvark!