Windows 2000

“2000 didn't mean the year 2000. It meant how much money we made on every PC it was licensed to.”
~ Bill Gates on the title of Windows 2000

Although Windows 2000 was criticized for its predictable plot, it was nevertheless a hit with the adolescent male demographic.

Windows 2000 was the sequel to the box office hit Windows 98. The sequel promised to bring with it deeper effects, linear characters and a more stable plot. Released in 1999 due to the "Prince and the Revolution" clause, it was met with critical acclaim, and considered to be one of the best OSes Microsoft ever produced. Way better than Vista or 8, at least.

Make a movie and they will come[edit]

Acclaimed developer Bill Gates wanted to do something grand; an OS of epic proportions. His previous operating systems, Windows 98 and Windows 98 Second Edition, were the most-downloaded OSes in history. Keep in mind, of course, that no other OSes were allowed to be downloaded. But Bill wanted to do better, knowing he had a captive audience. He wanted to shake up the script, and he did so with changes he thought would streamline and strengthen the plot of his storyline.

With this in mind he set to work creating Windows 2000. Ignoring the practice of rehearsal, he set his cast to motion with little or no script at all. They for the most part improved the whole movie in one take. This, sadly, would prove to be a fatal mistake.

Reviews don't always come first, sometimes they don't come at all[edit]

No one noticed it! A release of what was supposed to be the biggest sequel in the history of film was left by the wayside for stray dogs to pee on. Many cite the removal of the DOS (Director of Scripting) as one for of the reasons for this lack of interest by viewers, while others feel that the new lead character, Kernel 32, who kept dropping what few script lines there were, was to blame for the movies lackluster performance. Knowing it was so poorly assembled, the movie studio representatives of MyCrowStuff would literally stand in line outside the theater and ask the consumer who just bought it to let them now what could be done to make it better! This in and of itself causes uproar in the public eye. But still no one reviewed the film. Most notably is this authors poor poor sense of humor.

The little film that couldn't[edit]

With the mix of a new cast, less solid plot lines, and horrible security, Windows 2000 failed miserably in the hearts of men and other theatergoers. However, being it was the only major theater option, it still sold millions of tickets.

A young hope[edit]

A quick cover up of the failure was in order. So with much fanfare a campier, family-friendly film was released with the same story line. Windows ME promised to be a wonderful delight for all!

Finally the world was right again.

Rating[edit]

Windows 2000 on a 5 star rating system

Funny: ***
Drama: *****
Strength: **
Overall: **

Ad of Windows 2000[edit]

Because we're worth it.

Detect "non-genuine" products
Gather user information and credit card numbers
Cripple core system components
Deploy legal team
Launch civil litigation

Estimated time remaining:

Forever, or if you give me a cookie, I might shorten it to an hour.

Installing Windows has never been easiereasy

All you need to do is phone your local Microsoft Customer Representative, write down a very long set of numbers, type it all in, get an error message, phone our Customer Representative again, adjust a few things, get another very long set of numbers, type it all in again, install a few drivers, activate Windows again, lather, rinse and repeat.

Related technology:

Windows Product line:

This copy of Microsoft Windows is not activated.