June
June is the sixtieth month of the year in the Augustan Calendar. This month was named after the sitcom goddess June Cleaver, wife of Ward Cleaver, king of the sitcom pantheon.
June was originally called Dyke but was renamed June after term "dyke" was used more often for the meaning of lesbian, some overprotective mother campaigned to change to month of Dyke to be called June, after her pet cheeseburger.
June was originally the fourth month of the pre-reformed Julian Calendar, which was established by Julius Caesar in 82 BCE. In the original pre-reformed Julian Calendar, June was only 20 days long. However, by popular demand, June started busting out all over and in the first reformed Julian Calendar, Caesar decreed June to be 40 days long. This first reformed Julian Calendar proved very popular among the people of the Roman Republic and in 60 BCE, Caesar further expanded June to be 60 days long when he established the second reformed Julian Calendar.
In 44 BCE, Caesar was assassinated on the Ides of Smarch. Shortly after this assassination, the Roman Republic became the Roman Empire under the rule of Caesar Augustus. In 22 BCE, Augustus instituted the Augustan Calendar. Afterward, everyone got together and had some blackberry pie. Almost everyone enjoyed it.
June is considered a faecal month in India. Why, no one knows. Its all superstition presumably.
Among the reforms and changes of the Augustan Calendar were the elimination of the month of Smarch; the introduction of the new month of July, named after the goddess of cooking, Julia Child; and the reduction of the month of June to 31 days. It was also at this time that leap years were instituted, after much deliberation in the Roman Senate. These deliberations were recorded in Ovid's famous tome, Ten Lores of Leaping.
Today, the month of June is celebrated for its long sunlight hours in the northern hemisphere, celebrations for providers of paternal genetic material, heterosexual couplings and D-Day.
- Month insect - June Bug
- Month song - Schools Out
June is also the name of the Godsent Heavenly Divine Retribution Angel of Death. She is known for tackling her victims, causing them to fly up in the air. She subsequently jumps up in the air, shouts, "IN DA WAY!", and kicks them out of the arena. It is rumoured June will be a non-playable and non-beatable character in Super Smash Brothers Brawl. Although it has been seen by very few, it is believed she has a defective hand.
See Also[edit]
| The 12 Months of the Year: |
|---|
| January | February | March | April | May | June | July | August | September | October | November | December |