IMovie

The New iMovie logo

iMovie HD, better known as the computer based non-liner video DV, HDV, PAL, HD, editing software for noobs. i The first edition of the software was first released in 1999, along with a far superior application Final Cut Pro, before any home computers had the space to contain much video on them in the first place. iMovie gained much popularity early in the millennium due to more joe joes getting bigger computers with more space, the fact that they got cameras to was a big help as well. iMovie is responsible for 99% of all the videos on youtube, but has never been used to edit anything professionally because of its non-intuitive interface, requiring the need to spend lots of time to find a clever work around to solve a simple problem. Simply put, iMovie is the best home video editing software on the market.

The good iMovie logo

The first iMovie

iMovie in 1999

The first iMovie was an incredible waste of software development time for 1999 because no one had the Hard Drive space to be-able edit video in the first place. But Steve Jobs had a vision. Steve wanted people to, instead of spend time with their families, make a movie about their families that no one would ever watch, so he wasted the resources anyways and came up with this OS 8 application.

The first iMovie in 1999 looked horrible, it looked like what a windows application looks like now. But it was the first software of its kind, and it got Apple at-least 4 years ahead of it's windows counterparts on home based video editing. Now Apple is the leader in home video editing, as well as professional based editing, it's dominating the market the way China dominates Tibet.

The 2nd iMovie

iMovie 2 was a huge leap forward. It came out in 2000, and it was an OS 9 application and came with new macs. It included many new sound effects and video effects, while getting rid of the old ones that no one would want anyways.

iMovie 3

iMovie 3 was a huge leap forward. It was an OS X application that came out in 2003, with a few new minor features.

Before iMovie 3 came out, it was assumed that it was merely awkward around women and celibate.

iMovie 4

iMovie 4 was a huge leap forward. It was an OS X application that came out in 2004, with a few new minor features.

iMovie 5 HD

iMovie 5

iMovie 5 HD (Hardcore Dipshit) was a huge leap forward. It was an OS X application that came out in 2005, with a few new minor features. The most notable was a bottle of White-out, which augmented video editing considerably. The White-out was formerly sold separately at the Apple Store, for $349.95, and used a USB cable (though nobody is entirely sure how)

iMovie 6 HD

iMovie 6 HD

iMovie 6 came out in 2006. It was a huge leap forward, with several new features. Sadly, only some of them were very interesing:

• New look
• Each movie made in a sweatshop
• Magnum!
• Bi-Gay-Curious
• The ability to make ones own effects with a hammer applied liberally to the screen.
• Freebird!
• The addition of themes, amongst them, the Mission:Impossible theme, the Space:1999 theme, and the theme to Coronation Street.

The most notable addition to iMovie was the addition of themes, which were so friggin' awesome that we mention here again even though we mentioned them already, we're mentioning them here too. Seriously! When Jessica Alba heard about the themes, she orgasmed in public. When Alan Hale Jr heard about the themes, he came back from the dead and stalked Dawn Wells. iMovie 6 themes caused the resolution of the Palestinan problem, Mankind to return to the moon, and the other shoe to be dropped.

Of course, you couldn't actually make your own themes, so they were actually rather lame. But, THEMES!.

iMovie 6 HD was probably the best incarnation of iMovie because of its power, sheer, manly, pure-white-blinding POWER. iMovie now runs three Central American countries. And Jessica Alba, included free with every purchase!

iMovie '08 HD

The New iMovie is the best one yet! it has been redesigned from the ground up!
- Steve Jobs on his neutered creation

The new iMovie has been completely redesigned from a competent home video editor to a watered down, neutered, shadow of its former self. Apparently designed for computer illiterate 80 year olds and 5 year old kids who don't know what the key board does yet.

iMovie 08, pretty but useless, like Your Wife

The new features of iMovie '08 are...

• No more time line!
• Video Effects are completely gone!
• Control over any audio in any form is gone!
• Most of the transitions are gone!
• Themes are gone!
• The ability to cut clips down to the frame is gone!
• The User Interface is so counter intuitive there's no way for someone to use it!
• It can't run on any Apple Computer made before 2006.
• The ability to to make your own effects with quartz composer is gone!
• Any sort of integration with the rest of iLife is gone!
• Your grandmother can now use it.

Apple is apparently practicing corporate terrorism with its customer base. They've watered down iMovie to such a point that now anyone who is even slightly serious about making a movie now needs to splurge $200 dollars for Final Cut Express to be able to make their movies. If people don't upgrade, they'll be left behind in obsolete land, and if they do upgrade, they'll be stuck in decrepit stagnation land. With the new iMovie Apple has left its costumers up shit creek without a paddle.

iMovie '09 HD

This version of iMovie has put all the features they took out of the last version back in. For some reason, people like features. It has features such as:

• Themes
• Video effects
• Titles
• Your grandmother can still use it!

iMovie '11

iMovie 2011 was released on October 20, 2010 (though why it's called iMovie '11 if it was released in 2010 is anyone's guess). Apple decided to add more advanced features and more animations. On the whole, it doesn't look all that much different from iMovie '09, but there's a whole lotta hype about it at apple.com...