I mean, we’ve all done it, right? Right?

Man, I love Hopkins. A couple of years go by and there’s absolutely nothing, then she sticks her stupid head above the parapet and says something monumentally hateful or stupid or both. I’d like to remind everyone of this particular gem:

You can’t get fucking picky, mate. We’ve got salt. We’ve got pepper. We’ve got curry powder but we don’t understand it. And we’ve got class A narcotics.

What’s a fella to do? I’ll tell you what! Get yourself a fish supper with salt and vinegar and a truly biblical dose of cocaine on the mushy peas! Now!

Irn Bru. Made in Scotland. From Girders. - fuckin’ brilliant.

Fuck all of you!

On the one hand it’s ‘Hurr durr, the English don’t use any spice’, and now it’s ‘hurr durr, the English over-spice their shrimp’.

I’m only surprised a Reform guy was high enough profile to get named in the files. Except for Farage maybe.

Bunny! Ball ball!

The nature of monkey is irrepressible!

I trust that tastes a lot better than it looks.

Of all non flesh things, olives are the fleshiest.

Ah, yes, that also makes sense.

My new, favourite, curry house is delivery or collection only which, I guess, makes it a dark kitchen. But it’s hands down the best curry I’ve had, locally, in the 14 years I’ve been living here. Customer service is spot on, the food is amazing, never had a bad dish or a problematic order.

Not sure I see the problem. There’s space for both sit-down eateries and delivery-only places.

I am so hot for you right now. I’m a happily married 56-year-old man, but I’m wet, buddy, I’m wet.

SW stands for Soft Wankers.

I use Kenji’s method as well and it’s never once failed. Here’s a video 'splanation in case that suits you better.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8IeKQSW1LX8

Don’t worry, I’m bringing the average back up again.

CSI Grindr: “It’s double digested KFC. Fatal.”

Should have eaten moths and worn beans.

Hello!

I don’t think so. Oh, wait, I have a petrol strimmer / bushcutter that has a choke! So, yes!