Probably in part because of social media and the feeling of always being watched.

We now live in a world that’s a bit like the victorian prison called a panopticon, where you never know when you’re being watched, so end up assuming you’re always being watched, and find yourself forced to self-regulate.

Arguably many people who grew up with social media, can never be entirely free, because there will almost always be a part of them that worries about being watched and social consequences.

I don’t know if that’s true, but it would explain why people dress and act a certain way. Don’t dare to dress too weird (boring or normcore clothes), young men who don’t dare approach women, people who don’t dance because they’re worried someone might film them and make fun of them, etc. etc.

It’s sad.

I’m good at videogames because that’s what happen when you have thousands of hours in them. Am I very good and always performing ? Hell no

no

I dream of an all consuming fire, the bubbling of flesh. Pain and pleasure, indivisible.

I dreamt of a blue half unicorn half pig animal would penetrate me with their horn, then snuffle my balls, a bit like the pig part was looking for truffles. Is that ok?

Once in a long while, my brain turns all my mental anguish into a masterpiece of a horror movie in my dreams.

Used to. Gave up all but two to survive what my body wanted to do to me. Gave up another to survive what my brain wanted to do to me afters. One remains, we’ll see if I can wangle it in the next few years.

Interestingly enough, succeeded at one that should not have been a dream but was, that I gave up on, and technically succeeded at another two if you don’t look too close.