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Wikipedia:Peer review/Psych/archive1

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This peer review discussion has been closed.
I've listed this article for peer review because I want to improve the article so that I can nominate it for GA, and then eventually FAC.

Thanks, Iankap99 (talk) 23:01, 5 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I'll have a go. It might be best for you to wait until I say I'm ready, in case I have second thoughts about some of my comments. --Philcha (talk) 03:35, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
You might look at the GA criteria. --Philcha (talk) 05:16, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
If you disagree with some of my comments, please say so - I'm as fallible as the next person. --Philcha (talk) 05:16, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Coverage

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Structure

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Backstory

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  • (aka "Overview") I think this needs one or more inline citations, as required by WP:V. There are tools that making much easier to formatting citations and act as checklists of the information required, e.g. the "Cite" button that appears at the right-side end of the bar at the top of the edit box. --Philcha (talk) 08:01, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • IMO "Shawn originally becomes known as a psychic when, after calling in a tip on a crime covered on the news, the police become suspicious of his knowledge" misleads the reader into thinking for much of the sentence that Shawn is calling in a tip. I suggest ""Shawn originally becomes known as a psychic when the police, after calling in a tip on a crime covered on the news, become suspicious of his knowledge". --Philcha (talk) 09:46, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Cast and characters

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  • Part of the GA criteria is "it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail". IMO the "Recurring characters" are almost all unnecessary detail - IMO Mr. Yang is the most important. --Philcha (talk) 08:01, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • The surviving cast and characters need citations.
  • In "it is really his exceptional observational skills and eidetic memory that makes him such a good detective", "exceptional" looks almost like an advert for Shawn. If you want to use that, you'll need to create a citation from a source that includes a direct quote. --Philcha (talk) 08:01, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Prose

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  • I've found a few issues in "Backstory" alone. Please check the whole article for other points where the prose needs to be improved. IMO the best way to improve your skill is by doing it - I think mine has improved in the last year :-) --Philcha (talk) 09:46, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Episodes

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  • The prose and table provide the same information. As the prose is just a list of sentences that are identical except for number and dates, I'd prefer the table. I've also added a title for the table, as IIRC this is recommended for accessibilty. --Philcha (talk) 10:21, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

When the main text looks stable

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Check my User:Philcha#Tools - they save me a lot of work. :-) --Philcha (talk) 10:21, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Finally do the lead

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Hi, Iankap99, Now it's your return. --Philcha (talk) 10:21, 11 July 2010 (UTC)[reply]