Talk:Nirvana (song)/GA1

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 16:55, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Grabbing this for a review. Aoba47 (talk) 16:55, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

I was a little confused by this part “featuring a portion of rap delivered in Spanish during its drop”. Do you mean that only a portion of the rap is in Spanish or is the entire rap in Spanish? Just wanted to clarify this point. If the entire rap is in Spanish, then I would just say “featuring a rap delivered in Spanish during its drop”.

Done The second option was meant. Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I would revise this sentence (Despite the promotion of "Nirvana", consisting of various live performances for native radio stations and an appearance on Vocea României, the single failed to impact any country's national chart.) by splitting the content into two. I would make the first sentence on the promotion and the second on the lack of commercial impact. I am suggesting this to avoid any concerns of original research as I do not see a source tying these two ideas together in this manner.

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Background and composition

I would revise this sentence “Musically, the song belongs to the club genre.”. Something about the “belongs to” construction reads awkwardly to me.

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I would just say “Spanish” instead of “Spanish language”.

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For this part (while lyrically Inna "miss[es] her lover being on her body”), I would add a comma after “lyrically”.

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

For this part (although naming it "not as amazing”), I would paraphrase the quote in your own words if possible.

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I am not certain about this part (David Watt, writing for British portal All-Noise, was similarly positive), specifically the “similarly positive” part, as Kevin Apaza seems to have done more of a mixed review of the song.

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For this part (Pure Charts's Goncalves thought), I would use “wrote” instead of “thought”.

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Music video

I am not sure about this phrasing (multiple rigid people) and the link. I can’t find it in the source given, and I interpreted it, after watching the video, as more like a time is frozen feel. I would either find a source to support this or remove.

Done I simply removed this as it gave me headaches ;) Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For this sentence (Currinn of CelebMix commented on the shot: "It has an Egyptian-feel to [it], although we feel this distracts us from the main visuals.”). I would move the second half of the quote to the third paragraph as it deals more with the reception of the video.

Done Moved... Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

For the screenshot caption, I would revise it to make it clear that it was a commentator who felt that it had an Egyptian feel. The current wording could be misread as Inna or the director intentionally giving it an Egypt feel.

Done Tried to fixCartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I would clarify that “Call the Police” was released by G Girls (on a random note, I wonder if they will release more music or if the group was more of a publicity stunt).

Done Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

There are a few more negative responses to the video so I would try to group these together at the end of the third paragraph to give it a little more structure. Watt of All-Noise and Currinn of Celebmix both have critiques for the video.

Done Amended ;) Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Live performances

For this sentence (Inna wore a similar outfit to the single's music video), I would clarify which outfit as she wore multiple outfits during the video.

I simply removed this as it was not given in the source, and interpreting it in my own way would be original research. Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Credits and personnel

I would highly recommend that you add a section like this to the article as I am pretty sure it is required for all song/album articles.

Not done Thanks for noting this, but I don't think such a section would be relevant here, as the only credits we know are writing and production credits. We don't know anything like the recording studio, mixing etc... Plus, the Nirvana liner notes are nowhere to find right know, as I don't have a physical copy of the album. Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

I understand; if you ever get a hold of the liner notes, then feel free to update this article with the relevant information. Aoba47 (talk) 19:37, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Final comments

Wonderful job on this article. I will also pick up some of your other GANs for review in the upcoming days. This song is honestly my favorite of the album’s three singles so it was cool to read more about it. What is your favorite track from the album? I will promote this to a GA once all of my comments are addressed. Aoba47 (talk) 17:17, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Aoba47: Thanks for reviewing this! I believe I adressed all your concers. Regarding your off-Wikipedia questions: I do think G Girls will release more songs, as they have already two singles out. Plus, Alexandra Stan said in a recent interview that the project will continue releasing material but with different members all the time, if that makes sense... Concerning your other question, I think I like "Ruleta" best from the three singles out, especially for its drop. "Nirvana" is also good, but I think it gets repetitive after the second chorus (maybe that's one of the reasons it flopped commercially?) You have heard Nirvana since you ask me of my favorite songs from it(?!) My most favorite songs out there are "Ruleta", "Don't Mind" and "Lights", while I also like the majority of the others at a lower level. I'm happy you like Inna's music...

Personally, I'm kind of a fan boy of hers (:)) and I would love her singles to attain more success worldwide. Thank again for the review... Best; Cartoon network freak (talk) 18:08, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for addressing all of my comments and answering some of my unrelated questions. The G Girls as a rotating cast of members is certainly an interesting idea and it will be interesting to see how it develops further in the future. I actually got more into Inna's music due to all of the attention and energy you put into the articles so great work with everything on here. I understand what you mean about "Nirvana" being repetitive after a while. As for my favorite songs from the album as a whole, I really enjoy "Lights" and "Tropical"; I also really enjoy "Dream About the Ocean" primarily for its opening instrumental, and I kind of wish the entire song had that kind of song. It would be nice if Inna had more world-wide commercial succession. I think it would be cool if she experimented around with other types of music other than her traditional club/EDM style; for instance, I would love to see an album of more chilled-out music like how she did it on "Devil's Paradise" from Inna, but I do have a thing for more mellow music lol. Sorry for my long post lol. I will ✓ Pass this. Aoba47 (talk) 19:37, 2 January 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.