Talk:Ashleigh Southern/GA1
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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 03:44, 22 April 2012 (UTC)
I'll review this article shortly. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 03:44, 22 April 2012 (UTC)
Here are the issues I found:
- Courier Mail and FINA World Cup link to disambiguation pages; have them link to the right pages.
- fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 04:58, 24 April 2012 (UTC)
- "In water polo, she is a centre forward or outside shooter position" rm position, seems rather obvious that it is, and breaks up the flow a bit.
- fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 04:58, 24 April 2012 (UTC)
- As a whole, she is used a good 90% of the time. Throw in the occasional Southern just to give the prose a bit more variety; "she did x, she did y" makes it a bit more laboring to get through.
- Fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 05:06, 24 April 2012 (UTC)
- "2010.[9][22] that finished second.[1]" sentence fragment.
- fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 04:58, 24 April 2012 (UTC)
- "competed against Italy in the International Series with Italy " a bit redundant, the second with Italy can be removed.
- fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 04:58, 24 April 2012 (UTC)
- "She also scored a goal in the friendly " a friendly would sound a bit better here
- fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 04:58, 24 April 2012 (UTC)
- "Australia won 13 – 5, " cut the spaces
- fixed. --LauraHale (talk) 04:58, 24 April 2012 (UTC)
Not too much to fix. I'll put the article on hold for five days. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 01:36, 24 April 2012 (UTC)
- Everything looks good now, so I'll pass the article. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 15:47, 24 April 2012 (UTC)