Verb
The verb is part of the Grammar Kingdom, which in this case happens to be all the shit you do in your life. This includes breathing, although this is highly controversial, as a typical fat gym teacher says to you "do something active now or you will fail in life and go to hell forever. PERMANENTLY." As you know by now, "doing something" is pretty much the definition of a verb, but for no reason at all, breathing is excluded. Same goes for existing, talking, staring, scratching your butt, picking your nose, talking, raping, killing, staring, scratching your butt, fighting aliens of the ninth dimension, and existing. If verbs are put in food, it will give off a bitter and strong taste, and will have the same effect as steroids, but much more extreme and dangerous. This kind of verb is obviously a noun, another family in the Grammar Kingdom. Verbs are divided into two groups: the regular verb, and the adverb, but it could go further into subgroups, such as passive and active verbs. The adverb is part of the Adjective Family, which is also a part of the Grammar Kingdom. Recently, the verb appeared as a lame fad on Nickelodeon, which had a yellow ball as its mascot. Their lame slogan that went with this lame fad was "It's what you do!", which gave off speculation whether or not Captain Obvious had anything to do with this. Currently, the fad disappeared, much to the relief of many. In today's society, verbs are everywhere, because if you don't use verbs, you're dead. This fact has been exploited by many evil people, including but not limited to: children; they are changing words into verbs, thus making more people not dead and increasing the problem of over-population. These pseudo-meanings, (or psumeanings for short,) usually take on the obvious meaning to aid in ease of acceptance. Examples of words changed in such a way include : Water, semicolon, four, oven, backyard and verb itself. and for some reason travis whalen is a douche bag and thats ALSO not considered a verb
History[edit | edit source]
Originating somewhere in Ancient Athens, it was created by a curious man named Brev Verbingtons, whose first name may or may not be a coincidence as "verb" spelled backwards. Brev somehow thought of an idea to invent a word, which surprisingly was named after him. It was the "verb", which he added to the Grammar Kingdom through many tiring contracts. Somehow he came up with the definition:
Verb p.[vurb]
-noun
1. a member of the Grammar Kingdom
2. an enhancer; a steroids substitute
3. a word
-not a noun
1. something you do too much of
2. something you do even though you're not actively doing it while conscious, i.e. existing, living, etc.
[origin: c. somewhere between the beginning of time and the end of the world. Athens]
Ever since then, this new word has been used up until now. Brev loved his new word so much, he forced schools to teach children about it. The schools started getting to work, and the children were quickly gaining valuable knowledge. Gradually, the verb spread around the world, and everyone taught it in school. Sometime in the early ADs, a descendant of Brev came up with the idea of dividing the verb into groups. People were displeased, in fact, they were pissed. So then everyone hated verbs, but everyone still teaches us it anyways.
Advertisement for Verbs[edit | edit source]
No good money grubbers thought of ways to lure children into learning about verbs. So they created a low budget cartoon series about the Grammar Kingdom. One of them just happened to be about verbs.
Types of Verbs[edit | edit source]
Possessing many groups of pointless divisions, verbs are divided into many gruesome subgroups. Here's just a few. The two most important groups are verbs and adverbs. Most six year olds confuse these two, but people of other grades also can. These people are usually populated with blondes. There is more types of verbs than these, which are linking verbs. Basically these are verbs in disguise, which don't appear to even look like verbs at all. Examples are is and are, which virtually nobody would ever think of as a verb. Another double group are the active and passive verbs. Then are some more. Most of these look at the very pinnacle of a verb, so basically these aren't important to know.
The difference between other verbs[edit | edit source]
Verbs are something you do, which means your brain transfers your thought into things you do. Adverbs describe verbs. For example, carefully is one. In a sentence, it would look like this: He carefully farted silently in the library. Linking verbs is like an unconscious verb, like is, as in He is. In sentence form, it will look like this: He is a dumb wuss. Then there are active and passive verbs, which is as far as I am going to educate you. Active verbs are something you are actively doing, as in spit. In sentence form, it'll probably say: He spit at the ground. Passive verbs are like the past tense of a dramatic event, such as was pwned, which in active form will be pwned by itself. In sentence, it would be: He was pwned by your grandma. Also the difference between some other unimportant verbs is that they have more letters in their names, which is true if you don't count spaces.
Use of Verbs[edit | edit source]
We have to use verbs for the rest of our lives. Even when you're dead. Because in heaven, you're doing something there, no matter what. Same for hell. Exercising is the most important thing in your life, especially if you're fat. However, too much exercise is bad. Your body will explode if you do that. Eating is also important, but too much will make you fat. Therefore, eat healthy foods, although finding one good-tasting is rare. Anorexics don't eat much, which is also bad. They look like friggin' stick figures.
Thinking is also important, but everyone does that. However, some people's thinking skillz suck. Most of these idiots live in the interwebz, as evident on MySpace. Some people might act empty-headed for no reason, implying that they have some stupidity in them. Thinking can also make you do smart and stupid things, like for a smart thing to do is getting a life. A stupid thing to do is, of course, suicide.
You must also play games, particularly video games. These help improve your hand-eye coordination skills, which is needed for many things. They are also good for your entertainment. Too much video games, of course, is bad. They will make your eyes melt.
Lastly, get a life. You have to get a job, something like surgeons, because surgeons need hand-eye coordination which is supplemented in video games. If you get something like working at McDonalds or something, then you fail in life.