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ENS- Ouargla

Wordiness
Dr. Souad Benguega Module:
Writing
Objectives:

By the end of this lesson, students


will be able to:
 Identify wordiness
 Eliminate wordiness
Introduction
 Good academic writing is clear
and direct. You can write clearly
and concisely by:
1. Expressing your ideas in the
simplest way
2. Using the fewest words as
necessary
It is completely normal if your first
draft contains unnecessary
words. Take the time to revise
your work and eliminate the
Definition of wordiness
 It refers to the use of more words than necessary
to convey meaning in speech or writing
 Wordiness often occurs when writers use
repetitive or redundant filler words
 verbosity.
 Adjective: wordy.
Contrast with conciseness, directness, and clarity.
 Wordiness, says Robert Hartwell Fiske, is
"arguably the biggest obstacle to clear writing
and speaking" (101 Wordy Phrases, 2005).
 Wordy sentences contain many unnecessary
words.
Strategies to reduce
wordiness
 There are many
strategies to reduce
wordiness
1. Eliminate redundancy
 Remove words that are redundant. These are some
common phrases or pairs of words that are
redundant;
 They should be concised

Redundant Revised
Free gift Gift
During the course of During
Due to the fact that Because
With the exception of Except
First priority Priority
Still remain Remain
Red in colour Red
In order to To
In spite of the fact that Although
Big in size Big
Examples:

 Wordy: Due to the fact that class is cancelled, we will


postpone the quiz.
 Better: Because class is cancelled, we will postpone
the quiz.
Examples:

 Wordy: Due to the fact that class is cancelled, we will


postpone the quiz.
 Better: Because class is cancelled, we will postpone
the quiz.
 Wordy: In spite of the fact that I am failing, I have
enjoyed the class.
 Better: Although I am failing, I have enjoyed the class.
Examples:

 Wordy: Due to the fact that class is cancelled, we will


postpone the quiz.
 Better: Because class is cancelled, we will postpone
the quiz.
 Wordy: In spite of the fact that I am failing, I have
enjoyed the class.
 Better: Although I am failing, I have enjoyed the class.
 Wordy: I bought a dog for the purpose of providing me
with companionship.
 Better: I bought a dog for companionship.
Examples:

 Wordy: Due to the fact that class is cancelled, we will


postpone the quiz.
 Better: Because class is cancelled, we will postpone
the quiz.
 Wordy: In spite of the fact that I am failing, I have
enjoyed the class.
 Better: Although I am failing, I have enjoyed the class.
 Wordy: I bought a dog for the purpose of providing me
with companionship.
 Better: I bought a dog for companionship.
 Wordy: I will return your papers in the near future.
 Better: I will return your papers soon.
Examples:

 Wordy: Due to the fact that class is cancelled, we will


postpone the quiz.
 Better: Because class is cancelled, we will postpone the
quiz.
 Wordy: In spite of the fact that I am failing, I have enjoyed
the class.
 Better: Although I am failing, I have enjoyed the class.
 Wordy: I bought a dog for the purpose of providing me
with companionship.
 Better: I bought a dog for companionship.
 Wordy: I will return your papers in the near future.
 Better: I will return your papers soon.
 Wordy: In my own personal opinion torture is always
wrong.
 Better: In my opinion torture is always wrong.
 I bought a dress red in color.
 I bought a red dress.
 I bought a dress red in color.
 I bought a red dress.
 He rents a house big in size.
 He rents a big house.
 I bought a dress red in color.
 I bought a red dress.
 He rents a house big in size.
 He rents a big house.
 Pregnant women have the first priority
to enter.
 Pregnant women have the priority to
enter.
2. Omit “There is/are…”
and “It is…” phrases
 Avoid lengthy
expressions/constructions that
make a sentence wordy.
Eliminating these expressions may
require moving words around in
the sentence.
 You eliminate those words but
keep the original meanings of the
sentences.
Examples
 There is a teacher who works as
a volunteer for her community.
 A teacher works as a volunteer
for her community.
Examples
 There is a teacher who works as
a volunteer for her community.
 A teacher works as a volunteer
for her community.
 There are many people who play
sports.
 Many people play sports.
Examples
 There is a teacher who works as a
volunteer for her community.
 A teacher works as a volunteer for
her community.
 There are many people who play
sports.
 Many people play sports.
• It is the rent that is unaffordable in
the city.
• The rent is unaffordable in the city.
 It is apparent that Mary committed the
crime.
Mary committed the crime.
 It is apparent that Mary committed the
crime.
Mary committed the crime.
 It is obvious that John will win the
competition.
John will win the competition.
 It is apparent that Mary committed the
crime.
Mary committed the crime.
 It is obvious that John will win the
competition.
John will win the competition.
 There are six subjects the professor
might test us on.
The professor might test us on six
subjects .
 It is apparent that Mary committed the
crime.
Mary committed the crime.
 It is obvious that John will win the
competition.
John will win the competition.
 There are six subjects the professor
might test us on.
The professor might test us on six
subjects .
 There are five students nominated for the
scholarship.
Five students are nominated for the
scholarship.
 It is apparent that Mary committed the crime.
Mary committed the crime.
 It is obvious that John will win the
competition.
John will win the competition.
 There are six subjects the professor might
test us on.
The professor might test us on six subjects .
 There are five students nominated for the
scholarship.
Five students are nominated for the
scholarship.
 It is probable that it will snow tonight.
It will snow tonight.
3. Avoid nominalization

 Nominalization refers to using verbs in


their noun forms. Nominalization results in
wordiness.
Example
 The improvement in students’ reading
skills was made.
 Students’ reading skills were improved.
Above, you can reduce the nominalization
“The improvement in” (three words) to one
word “improved.”
4. Use the active voice

 In the active voice, the subject of the


sentence takes action, while in the
passive voice the subject of the
sentence receives the action.
 Write in the active voice.
The active voice uses fewer words than
the passive voice and is easier to
understand.
 Before you use the active voice, check
your assignment guidelines and the
goal of your sentence. If your subject
“acts,” use the active voice; if the
4. Use the active voice
Passive:
1. The issue was investigated by the team.
2. Active: The team investigated the issue.
The first sentence with the passive voice
leads to wordiness. The active voice in the
second sentence is clear and concise.
 Passive: It was proved that the result was
reliable. Active: The result proved reliable.
The word count has decreased from 8 in the
first sentence to 4 in the second sentence.
 The old movies were ruined in the fire.
 The fire ruined the old movies.
 The agricultural programs bill was
vetoed by the president.
 The president vetoed the agricultural
programs bill.
5. Replace prepositional verbs
with verbs that do not need
prepositions

Wordy Revised

Ask for Request

Find out Determine/ discover


Examples:
 Linda gets on the plane.
 Linda ascends the plane. (mount)
Examples:
 Linda gets on the plane.
 Linda ascends the plane. (mount)
 He finds out new ideas.
 He discovers new ideas.
Examples:
 Linda gets on the plane.
 Linda ascends the plane. (mount)
 He finds out new ideas.
 He discovers new ideas.
 The police gives up to the kidnapper’s demands.
 The police abandons to the kidnapper’s demands.
Examples:
 Linda gets on the plane.
 Linda ascends the plane. (mount)
 He finds out new ideas.
 He discovers new ideas.
 The police gives up to the kidnapper’s demands.
 The police abandons to the kidnapper’s demands.
 The next bus will be along in the next quarter of an
hour or so.
 The next bus will arrive in the next quarter of an
hour or so.
Examples:
 Linda gets on the plane.
 Linda ascends the plane. (mount)
 He finds out new ideas.
 He discovers new ideas.
 The police gives up to the kidnapper’s demands.
 The police abandons to the kidnapper’s demands.
 The next bus will be along in the next quarter of an
hour or so.
 The next bus will arrive in the next quarter of an
hour or so.
 I will pick up my trousers from the Dry Cleaner.
 I will collect my trousers from the Dry Cleaner.
6. Avoid overusing qualifiers

 The qualifier is a word or a phrase that is


added to another word to modify its
meaning, either by limiting it (She was
somewhat angry) or by enhancing it (The
baby is very cute).
 Qualifiers include words such as really,
extremely, very, and absolutely.
 Qualifiers are empty words that weaken your
writing. Remove them from your writing.
Example:
 His friend was extremely furious.
 His friend was furious.
 I saw so many people in the program.
 I saw many people in the program.
 I saw so many people in the program.
 I saw many people in the program.
 A large number of people in the concert.
 A number of people in the concert.
 I saw so many people in the program.
 I saw many people in the program.
 A large number of people in the concert.
 A number of people in the concert.
 Lisa has so much knowledge about this
topic.
 Lisa has much knowledge about this
topic.
 I saw so many people in the program.
 I saw many people in the program.
 A large number of people in the concert.
 A number of people in the concert.
 Lisa has so much knowledge about this
topic.
 Lisa has much knowledge about this
topic.
 We have very enough food in the
refrigerator.
 We have enough food in the refrigerator.
7. Delete long phrases containing many prepositions

We have to remove prepositions as much


as possible.
The revised version should be more
concise.
 John explains the results of his study.
 John explains his study results.
7. Delete long phrases containing many prepositions

We have to remove prepositions as much


as possible.
The revised version should be more
concise.
 John explains the results of his study.
 John explains his study results.
 The pressure of the blood of the mouse
was elevated.
 The blood pressure of the mouse was
elevated.
Practice Exercises:

1. The store offers gift wrapping at no charge to its


customers.
2. Due to the fact that the teaching assistant was sick, the
tutorial was cancelled.
3. There are twenty students who have submitted their
assignments.
4. It is Jack who cleans the room every week.
5. The researcher will perform an evaluation of the design.
6. The growth of economy is influenced by technological
development.
7. The issue has become very controversial.
8. The reason for the failure of his final exam was that he
had a high fever on the exam day.
9. The blood pressure of the mouse was elevated.

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