Chapter 8:

Developing Emotional Intelligence

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© 2020 Cengage. All rights reserved. 2
 Adopting Lifelong Learning

Successful Students… Struggling Students…

• Demonstrate emotional intelligence • Allow themselves to be hijacked by
• Effectively reduce stress emotions
• Create happiness • Take no responsibility for
managing their emotions
• Frequently experience negative
emotions

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 Understanding Emotional Intelligence
What is emotional intelligence? How can you experience the full range of
FOCUS QUESTIONS natural human emotions and still stay on course to a rich, fulfilling life?

Four Components of Emotional Intelligence

• Emotional Self-Awareness: Knowing your feelings in the moment.

• Emotional Self-Management: Managing strong feelings.
• Social Awareness: Empathizing accurately with other people’s emotions.
• Relationship Management: Handling emotions in relationships with skill and
harmony.

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 Knowing Your Own Emotions

• Build a Vocabulary of Feelings.

• Be Mindful of Emotions As They
Are Happening.
• Understand What Is Triggering
Your Emotion.
• Recognize the Difference
Between a Feeling and Resulting
Actions.

Never make an important

decision while experiencing
strong emotions.

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 Reducing Stress
How can you soothe stressful feelings that make life unpleasant and
FOCUS QUESTIONS threaten to get you off course?

• What is Stress?
• What Happens When Stress Persists?
• Unhealthy Stress Reduction
• Healthy Stress Reduction

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 Feeling Overwhelmed

Choose New Behaviors Choose New Thoughts

• Separate from an external stressor. • Elevate.
• List and prioritize everything you • Trust a positive outcome.
need to do. • Take a mental vacation.
• Discover time-savers.
• Eliminate time-wasters.
• Say “no.”
• Keep your finances organized.
• Exercise.
• Get enough sleep.

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 Feeling Angry

Choose New Behaviors Choose New Thoughts

• Separate. • Reframe.
• Exercise. • Distract yourself.
• Relax. • Forgive.
• Journal. • Identify the hurt.
• Channel your anger into positive
actions.

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 Feeling Anxious

Choose New Behaviors Choose New Thoughts

• Prepare thoroughly. • Detach.
• Relax. • Reframe.
• Breathe deeply. • Visualize success.
• Request accommodations. • Assume the best.
• Face the fear.
• Say your affirmation.

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 Feeling Sad
Choose New Behaviors Choose New Thoughts
• Dispute pessimistic beliefs.
• Do something (anything!) toward
your goals. • Distract yourself.
• Exercise. • Focus on the positive.
• Listen to uplifting music. • Find the opportunity in the
problem.
• Laugh.
• Remind yourself, “This, too,
• Breathe deeply. shall pass.”
• Help others in need. • Identify others who have much
• Journal. more to be sad or depressed
• Socialize with friends and loved about.
ones.
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 Choose Your Attitude

“The greatest discovery of my

generation is that human beings, by
changing the inner attitudes of their
minds, can change the outer aspects of
their lives.”
‒ William James

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 Increasing Happiness

FOCUS QUESTIONS Would you like to be happier? Do you know how?

• Limits on Happiness
• Savoring Pleasures
• Gratitude
• Engagement
• Contribution
• Strawberry Moments

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 Emotional Intelligence at Work

Improving emotional intelligence skills in college and your career will help you:
• Manage your reactions and responses to difficult classmates, professors,
coworkers, customers, and supervisors more effectively.
• Work more effectively on project teams and collaborate more skillfully.
• Demonstrate stronger leadership skills and improve your chances of
promotions and positive evaluations.
• Develop a more extensive social network that offers you support and
opportunities.

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 TECH TIPS: Self-Awareness

• Awareness (Android, iOS)

• Gratitude Journal (Android, iOS)
• Track Your Happiness (iOS)
• MindShift (Android, iOS)
• Happify (online, Android, iOS)
• Breathe2Relax (Android, iOS)

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 Develop Self-Acceptance
Why is high self-esteem so important to success? What can you do to raise
FOCUS QUESTIONS your self-esteem?

• SELF-ESTEEM AND CORE BELIEFS

Our core beliefs—true or false, real or imagined—form the inner compass that guides
our choices.

• KNOW AND ACCEPT YOURSELF

Successful people accept the things they cannot change, have the courage to change
the things they can change, and possess the wisdom to know the difference.

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 Healthy Choices: Sleep

“Sleep deprivation can lead to a host of health problems, including:

• High blood pressure • Weakened immune system

• Heart disease • Depression
• Obesity • Stroke
• Cancer • Automobile accidents
• Diabetes • Premature death

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 The Least You Need to Know About Sleep

“Experts agree that sleeping is crucial for memory

consolidation and learning, and that poor sleep negatively
affects these much-needed abilities. Without adequate sleep
your brain becomes foggy, your attention dwindles, and your
memory stalls. This might not be news to anyone who has
pulled an all-nighter cramming for a test only to find they
couldn’t recall most of the information the next day.”

‒ Neuroscientist Lisa Mosconi, PhD

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 Wise Choices: Sleep

• Wake up at the same time every day.

• Exercise, preferably in bright natural light.
• Nap no more than 30 minutes between noon and 4 p.m.
• Avoid caffeine six hours before bedtime.
• Eat a healthy dinner at least two hours before bedtime and limit snacking
afterward.
• Avoid nicotine and alcohol after dinner.
• Create a relaxing nighttime routine.
• Set an alarm for your regular wake-up time.
• Don’t do schoolwork in bed.

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 Wise Choices: Sleep
• Ban electronics from your
bedroom.
• Make your bedroom
completely dark, cool, and
quiet.
• Do deep breathing,
progressive relaxation, and/or
meditation.
• If you lie awake or wake up,
either relax until you sleep or
get up and do something.
• If pregnant, consult your doctor
for ways for improving sleep
without drugs.

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