Module - 5 (Iii) Revising Business Messages
Module - 5 (Iii) Revising Business Messages
Essentials of
Business
Communication 9e
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 2
Phase 3
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of the
Writing
Process
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 3
Phase 3: Revising
Improving
Improvingcontent
contentand
and
sentence
sentencestructure
structure
Revising May
Mayinvolve
involveadding,
adding,
cutting,
cutting,and
andreformatting.
reformatting.
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Correcting
Correctinggrammar,
grammar,
Proofreading spelling,
spelling,punctuation,
punctuation,
format,
format,and
andmechanics
mechanics
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 4
Phase 3: Revising
The Goals of Business Writing:
Conciseness
Clarity
Vigor and directness
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Readability
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 5
Revising for Conciseness
Eliminate flabby expressions.
Poor: Improved:
We are of the opinion that We think
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 6
Revising for Conciseness
Limit long lead-ins.
Poor: Improved:
This e-mail message is
We will meet on
to inform you that we
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 8
Revising for Conciseness
Reject redundancies.
What words could be omitted in these
expressions?
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 9
Revising for Conciseness
Reject redundancies.
What words could be omitted in these
expressions?
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 10
Making Sentences Concise
Poor: Improved:
This e-mail message is to A new health benefit
inform you that there is a plan is available for
new health benefit plan employees.
available for employees.
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Poor: Improved:
In addition to the above, Two contracts are
there are contracts that are also attached.
attached to this message.
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 12
Revising for Clarity
Dump trite business expressions.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 13
Revising for Clarity
Avoid jargon—technical terms and special
terminology.
Computer Jargon Alternatives
queue list of documents
waiting to be printed
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Slang Alternatives
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 15
Revising for Clarity
Drop clichés.
Substitute precise words for overused
expressions.
Poor: Improved:
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 16
Making Sentences Clear and Concise
Poor: Improved:
Last but not least, the Finally, the attorney
attorney referred back to referred to an
an exactly identical case. identical case.
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 17
Making Sentences Clear and Concise
Poor: Improved:
Ms. Miller, who shoots Ms. Miller, who is
straight from the shoulder, straightforward,
demanded final demanded
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 18
Revising for Vigor and Directness
Unbury verbs.
Revise verbs that have been converted to
nouns.
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Look
Lookforforwords
wordsending
endinginin
Tip tion
tionor
orment.
ment.Could
Couldthey
they
be
bemore
moreefficiently
efficientlyand
and
forcefully
forcefullyconverted
convertedtotoverbs?
verbs?
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 19
Revising for Vigor and Directness
Unbury verbs.
Poor: Improved:
The manager came to The manager
the realization that realized that
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Excessive Professional
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 22
Revising for Vigor and Directness
Choose clear, precise words.
Strive for specific verbs, concrete nouns, and
vivid adjectives. Beware of unclear pronouns.
Unclear More precise
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Poor: Improved:
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Poor: Improved:
The seller said he definitely The seller promised
would contact you. to e-mail you.
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 25
Revising for Vigor and Directness
Poor: Improved:
Moviegoers actually show a Moviegoers prefer
total preference for buttered buttered popcorn.
popcorn.
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 26
Revising for Readability
Employ white space.
Headings
Short paragraphs
Ragged-right margins
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 27
Revising for Readability
Choose appropriate typefaces.
Serif typefaces have small features at the end
of strokes.
Times New Roman
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Century
Georgia
Palatino
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 28
Revising for Readability
Choose appropriate typefaces.
Sans serif typefaces are cleaner without
features. They are useful for headings, signs,
and noncontinuous reading material.
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Arial
Tahoma
Verdana
Calibri
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 29
Revising for Readability
Capitalize on type fonts and sizes.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 30
Revising for Readability
Use numbered and bulleted lists.
Break up complex information into smaller
chunks to ensure rapid comprehension.
Numbered lists: Use for sequences.
Bulleted lists: Use for items that don’t
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 32
Revising for Readability
Use numbered lists for instructions.
Poor: Improved:
To clean the printer, you To clean the printer, do
should do the following.
the following:
First, you should
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 33
Revising for Readability
Add headings for visual impact.
Poor: Improved:
On April 3 we will be in Date City Speaker
Toledo, and the speaker
is Troy Lee. On May 20 April 3 Toledo Troy Lee
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 34
Revising for Readability
Use paragraph headings to improve
organization and readability.
Poor: Improved:
The next topic is Vacations. A new vacation
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 35
Improving Readability
Poor: Improved:
In the next training The next training session
session, the trainer will will demonstrate the
demonstrate how to following:
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 36
Improving Readability (Practice)
Poor: Improved:
In preparing for an employment You can prepare for
interview, you should begin by interviews by doing the
studying the job description. following:
• Study the job
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Spelling
Grammar
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Punctuation
Names and numbers
Format
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 38
Phase 3: Proofreading
How to proofread routine documents:
On your computer screen, focus on one line
at a time.
Read carefully for faults such as omitted or
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double words
Use a spell checker.
Proofread from a hard
copy.
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 39
Phase 3: Proofreading
How to proofread complex documents:
Print a copy, preferably double-spaced.
Allow adequate time.
Be prepared to find errors.
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 40
Phase 3: Proofreading
For documents that must be perfect:
Have someone read aloud the original
while someone else checks the printout.
Spell names.
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 41
Phase 3: Evaluating
Answer these questions about your
document:
How successful will this message be?
Does it say what you want it to?
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Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 42
“I'm not a very good writer, but I'm
an excellent rewriter.”
Mary Ellen Guffey & Dana Loewy, Essentials of Business Communication, 9th Edition Chapter 4, Slide 43
END
Essentials of
Business
Communication 9e