HUMAN RELATIONS

AND COMMUNICATION

CHAPTER 1: FOUNDATION OF
INTERPERSONAL
COMMUNICATION
 Principles of Interpersonal
Why Study Interpersonal Communication
Communication ?

TOPICS
Elements of Interpersonal
The Nature of Interpersonal
Communication
Communication
 Why Study Interpersonal 1.Personal
Communication?
Success
Your personal success and happiness depend largely on
your effectiveness as an
interpersonal communicator. Close friendships and
romantic relationships are de- For example, in a survey of 1,001
people over 18 years of age, 53 percent felt
veloped, maintained, and sometimes destroyed largely
that a lack of effective communication was
through your interpersonal the major cause of marriage failure—
interactions. significantly greater than money (38
percent) and
in-law interference (14 percent) (How
Americans Communicate, 1999).
2.Professional Employers want graduates who can
communicate orally and in writing
(Berrett, 2013).
Success This ability is even considered more
important
The ability to communicate interpersonally is widely recognized than job-specific skills, which
as crucial to professional success. From the initial interview at a college employers felt could be learned on
job fair to interning, to participating in and then leading meetings, your the job.
skills at interper-personal communication will largely determine your
success. Each profession requires different knowledge, skills and abilities.
One of the skills that are important for almost all professions is considered
"communication skills".

.As a result, the importance of interpersonal communication skills

extends over the entire spectrum of professions.
 BRAINSTORMING

1. The more you communicate, the better at it you will be.

2. In your interpersonal communication, a good guide to follow is to

be as open, empathic, and supportive as you can be.

3. When there is conflict, your relationship is in trouble.

 It’s not the amount of communication people engage in but the quality that matters;
if you practice bad habits, you’re more likely to grow less effective than more
effective, so it’s important to learn and follow the principles of effectiveness.

Each interpersonal situation is unique, and therefore the type of communication

appropriate in one situation may not be appropriate in another.

All meaningful relationships experience conflict; relationships are not in trouble

when there is conflict, though dealing with conflict ineffectively can often damage
the relationship.
 The Nature of Interpersonal
Communication
In its simplest definition; Interpersonal communication is the verbal or non-verbal interaction
between two or more interdependent people.

Involves Independent Individuals

Inherently Relational
Exists on a Continuum
Involves Verbal and Nonverbal Messages
Takes Place in Varied Forms
Involves Choices
 Interpersonal Communication Involves Independent Individuals:

Interpersonal communication is the communication that takes place between

people who are in some way “connected.” Interpersonal communication thus
includes what takes place between a son and his father, an employer and an
employee, two sisters, a teacher and a student, two lovers, two friends, and so
on.
Not only are the individuals simply “connected”—they are also interdependent: What one
person does has an impact on the other person. The actions of one person have
consequences for the other person. In a family, for example, a child’s trouble with the
police affects the parents, other siblings, extended family members, and per?haps friends
and neighbors.
 Interpersonal Communication is Inherently Relational:

Because of this interdependency, interpersonal communication is

inevitably and essentially relational in nature. Interpersonal
communication takes place within a relationship—it has an impact on the
relationship; it defines the relationship.

The communication that takes place in a relationship is in part a function

of that relationship. That is, the way you communicate is determined in
great part by the kind of relationship that exists between you and the other
person.
 Interpersonal Communication Exists on a Continuum:

Interpersonal communication exists along a continuum that

ranges from relatively impersonal to highly personal.
 Social Role vs Personal Societal vs Personal Rules Social vs Personal Messages
Information

Notice too that the The messages that the

Social role versus personal server and customer
server and the customer
information:Notice that, in exchange, for example,
interact according to the
the impersonal example, the rules of society. But the are themselves
individuals are likely to father and the son impersonal; there is little
respond to each other interact on the basis of personal information
according to the roles they exchanged and there is
personally established
are currently playing little emotional content in
rules.
the messages they
exchange.
 Interpersonal Communication Involves Verbal and Nonverbal Messages:

Interpersonal interaction involves the exchange of both verbal and nonverbal

messages. In face to face interaction, the words you use, your facial expressions, your eye
contact, and in your online text, photos, and videos send interpersonal messages. Likewise,
you receive interpersonal messages through all your senses.Even silence sends interpersonal
messages.

One of the great myths in communication is that nonverbal communication ac-

counts for more than 90 percent of the meaning of any message.
In some situations the nonverbal signals indeed carry more of your meaning than the words
you use. In other situations,the verbal signals communicate more information,
 Interpersonal Communication Takes Place in Varied Forms :

Interpersonal communication often takes place face-to-face, as when we talk

with others. But interpersonal communication also takes place over some kind
of computer
network, through texting, e-mailing, posting to Facebook, and phoning.

Some would argue that online communication is today’s communication

platform; others argue that online communication is tomorrow’s
communication platform. No one seems to argue that online communication is
not here to stay and grow.
Face-to-Face and Computer-Mediated Communication
 Interpersonal Communication Involves Choices:

The interpersonal messages that you communicate are the result of

choices you make. Many times you don’t think of what you say or
don’t say. it seems so automatic that you don’t think of it as under
conscious control. At other times, the notion of choice is paramount
in your mind. Look at it this way: throughout your interpersonal life
and in each interpersonal interaction, you’re presented with choice
points—moments when you have to make a choice about whom
you communicate with, what you say, what you don’t say, how you
phrase what you want to say, and so on.
ELEMENTS OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

Each of the concepts identified in the model and discussed here may be thought of
as a universal of interpersonal communication in that it is present in all
interpersonal interactions. The elements of the communication process are;
(1) source–receiver
(2) messages
(3) channels
(4) noise
(5) contexts
(6) ethics
A Model of Interpersonal Communication
 Source-Receiver
Interpersonal communication involves at least two people. Each
individual performs source functions and also performs receiver
functions. The term source–receiver emphasizes that both
functions are performed by each individual in interpersonal
communication. Some people are talkers and some people are
listeners. And some people talk largely about them?selves and
others participate more in the give and take of communication.
 Encoding–Decoding

Encoding refers to the act of producing messages. Decoding is the reverse and refers to
the act of understanding messages. By sending your ideas via sound waves (in the case
of speech) or light waves (in the case of writing), you’re putting these ideas into a
code, hence encoding. By translating sound or light waves into ideas, you’re taking
them out of a code, hence decoding. Thus, speakers and writers are called encoders,
and listeners and readers are called decoders. The term encoding–decoding is used to
emphasize that the two activities are performed in combination by each participant.
For interpersonal communication to occur, messages must be encoded and decoded.
 Code Switching

Technically, code switching refers to using more than one language in a

conversation, often in the same sentence. And so a native Spanish speaker
might speak most of a sentence in English and then insert a Spanish term
or phrase. More popularly, however, code switching refers to using
different language styles depending on the situation.

The ability to code-switch serves at least two very important purposes.

First, it identifies you as one of the group; you are not an outsider. It’s a
way of bonding with the group. Second, it often helps in terms of making
your meaning clearer.
 Messages
Messages are signals that serve as stimuli for a receiver and are received byone of our
senses. Messages any signals transmitted from source to receiver take many forms. you
send and receive messages through any one or any combination of sensory organs.
although you may customarily think of messges as being verbal, you also communicate
nonverbally.
You communicate interpersonally by ges?ture and touch as well as by words and
sentences. The clothes you wear communicate to others and, in fact, to yourself as well.
The way you walk communicates, as does the way you shake hands, tilt your head, comb
your hair, sit, smile, or frown. Messages that are about other messages are called
metamessages and represent many of your everyday communications. Two particularly
important types of metamessages are feedback and feedforward.
 Feedback Messages

Throughout the interpersonal communication process, you

exchange feedback—messages sent back to the speaker concerning reactions
to what is said . Feedback tells the speaker what effect she
or he is having on listeners. On the basis of this feedback, the speaker may adjust,
modify, strengthen, deemphasize, or change the content or form of the messages.
Feedback may come from yourself or from others. When you send a message say,
in speaking to another person you also hear yourself. That is, you get feedback
from your own messages: You hear what you say, you feel the way you move, you
see what you write. In addition to this self-feedback, you get feedback from others.
This feedback can take many forms. A frown or a smile, a yea or a nay, a pat on the
back or a punch in the mouth are all types of feedback.
 Feedforward Messages

Feedforward is information you provide before sending your primary

message. Feedforward reveals something about the message to come.
Examples of feedforward include the preface or table of contents of a
book, the opening paragraph of a chapter or post, movie previews,
magazine covers, e-mail sub?ject headings, and introductions in public
speeches. Feedforward may serve a variety of functions. For example, you
might use feedforward to express your wish to chat a bit, saying
something like “Hey, I haven’t seen you the entire week; what’s been
going on?”
 Channel
The communication channel is the medium through which messages pass. It’s a kind
of bridge connecting source and receiver.
Communication rarely takes place over only one channel; two,
three, or four channels are often used simultaneously. For example, in face-to-face
interaction, you speak and listen (vocal–auditory channel), but you also gesture and
receive signals visually (gestural–visual channel), and you emit odors and smell those
of others (chemical–olfactory channel). Often you communicate through touch
(cutane?ous–tactile channel). When you communicate online, you often send photo,
audio, or video files in the same message or, in the case of Twitter, links to these
additional files.
In most situations, a variety of channels are involved.
 Noise
Technically, noise is anything that distorts a message—anything that prevents the
receiver from receiving the message. At one extreme, noise may prevent a
message from getting from source to receiver. A roaring noise or line static can
easily prevent entire messages from getting through to your telephone receiver. At
the other extreme, with virtually no noise interference, the message of the source
and the message received are almost identical. Most often, however, noise distorts
some portion of the message a source sends as it travels to a receiver

Four types of noise are especially relevant.

• Physical noise
• Physiological noise
• Psychological noise
• Semantic noise
 1)Physical Noise

Physical noise is interference that is external to both speaker and listener; it impedes the physical
transmission of the signal or message. Examples include the screeching of passing cars, the hum
of a computer, sunglasses, extraneous messages, illegible handwriting, blurred type or fonts that
are too small or difficult to read, misspellings and poor grammar, and pop-up ads. Still another
type of physical noise is extraneous information that makes what you want to find more difficult,
for example, spam or too many photos on Facebook.
 2)Physiological Noise

Physiological noise is created by barriers within the sender or receiver, such

as visual impairments, hearing loss, articulation problems, and memory loss.

3)Psychological Noise

Psychological noise is mental interference in the speaker or listener and includes

preconceived ideas, wandering thoughts, biases and prejudices, closed-mindedness,
and extreme emotionalism. You’re likely to run into psychological noise when you
talk with someone who is closed-minded or who refuses to listen to anything he or
she doesn’t already believe
 4)Semantic Noise

Semantic Noise is interference that occurs

when the speaker and listener have different
meaning systems; examples include language
or dialectical differences, the use of jargon or
overly complex terms, and ambiguous or
overly abstract terms whose meanings can be
easily misinterpreted.
 Context

Communication always takes place in a context or environment that influences

the form and content of your messages. At times this context isn’t obvious or
intrusive; it seems so natural that it’s ignored—like background music. At
other times the context dominates, and the ways in which it restricts or
stimulates your messages are obvious.

The context of communication has at least four dimensions, all of which

interact with and influence each other
 1)Physıcal Dimensıon

The physical dimension is the tangible or concrete environment in which

communication takes place—the room, hallway, or park; the boardroom or the
family dinner table. The size of the space, its temperature, and the number of
people present in the physical space are also part of the physical dimension.
Twitter’s restriction of messages to 140 characters or fewer is an especially
good example of the physical dimension influencing the message.
 2)Temporal Dimension

The temporal dimension has to do not only with the time of day
and moment in history but also with where a particular message
fits into the sequence of communication events. For example, a
joke about illness told immediately after the disclosure of a
friend’s sickness will be received differently than the same joke
told in response to a series of similar jokes.
 3)Social–Psychologıcal
Dimension
The social-psychological context focuses on the
relationships among the communicators, the roles and the
games that people play, their friendliness.

4)Cultural Dimension
The cultural context includes the cultural beliefs and customs of the people communicating.
When you interact with people from different cultures, you may each follow different rules
of communication. This can result in confusion, unintentional insult, inaccurate judgments,
and a host of other miscommunications. Similarly, communication strategies or techniques
that prove satisfying to members of one culture may prove disturbing or offensive to
members of another.
 Ethics
Interpersonal communication also involves questions of ethics, the study of good
and bad, of right and wrong, of moral and immoral. Ethics is concerned with
actions, with behaviors; it’s concerned with distinguishing between behaviors that
are moral (ethi?cal, good, and right) and those that are immoral (unethical, bad,
and wrong). There’s also an ethical dimension to any interpersonal
communication.
 BRAINSTORMING
1. My behavior is ethical when I feel (in my heart) that I’m doing
the right this

2. My behavior is ethical when it is consistent with my religious

beliefs.
Statement 1 is false simply because people often do unethical things they feel
are morally justified. Jack the Ripper killing prostitutes is a good historical
example, but there are many current ones such as stalking (I’m so in love I
need to be with this person) or insurances scams (My family needs the money
more than the insurance company).

Statement 2 must be false when you realize that different religions advocate
very different kinds of behavior, often behaviors that contradict one another.
PRINCIPLES OF INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION

• Interpersonal Communication Is a Transactional Process

2. Interpersonal Communication Serves a Variety of Purposes

3. Interpersonal Communication Is Ambiguous

4. Interpersonal Relationships May Be Symmetrical or Complementary

5. Interpersonal Communication Refers to Content and Relationship

6. Interpersonal Communication Is a Series of Punctuated Events

7.Interpersonal Communication Is Inevitable, Irreversible, and Unrepeatable

 Interpersonal Communication Is a
Transactional Process

A transactional perspective views interpersonal communication as (1) a

process with (2) elements that are interdependent and (3) the
participants are mutually influential.
Interpersonal Communication
Is a Process

Interpersonal communication is best viewed as an ever-changing, circular process.

Everything involved in interpersonal communication is in a state of flux: you’re
changing, the people you communicate with are changing, and your environment is
changing.

One person’s message serves as the stimulus for another’s message, which serves as
a stimulus for the first person’s message, and so on. Throughout this circular
process, each person serves simultaneously as a speaker and a listener. This circular process seems
more true of face-to-face
interactions than of social
media interactions.
Elements are
Interdependent

In interpersonal communication, not only are the individuals interdependent.

The varied elements of communication are also interdependent. Each element
of interpersonal communication is intimately connected to the other parts and
to the whole. For example, there can be no source without a receiver; there
can be no message without a source; Because of interdependency, a change in
any one element causes changes in the others. This change in participants
leads to other changes
 Mutual Influence

In a transaction process, each individual influences the other,

to some extent. For example, in face-to-face conversation,
what you say influ?ences what the other person says, which
influences what you say, and so on.This mutual influence is
the major characteristic distinguishing traditional media from
social media.
 Interpersonal Communication
Serves a Variety of Purposes

Interpersonal communication, whether face-to-face or online,

serves a variety of pur?poses. Five such purposes can be
identified: to learn, to relate, to influence, to play, and to help.
To Learn

Interpersonal communication enables you to learn, to better understand the external

world. n. Although a great deal of information comes from the media, you probably
discuss and ultimately learn or internal?ize information through interpersonal
interactions.

Most important, however, interpersonal communication helps you learn about

yourself. By talking about yourself with others, you gain valuable feedback on your
feelings, thoughts, and behaviors. Through these communications, you also learn
how you appear to others
To Relate

Interpersonal communication helps you relate. You communicate your

friendship or love through your interpersonal communication; at the same
time, you react and respond to the friendship and love messages of others.
When you poke someone on Facebook, you’re indicating your desire to
relate to that person, to communicate with him or her.
To Influence

Very likely, you influence the attitudes and behaviors of others in

your interpersonal encounters. A good deal of your time is probably spent
in interpersonal persuasion. Some researchers, in fact, would argue that all
communication is persuasive and that all our communications seek some
persuasive goal.

This influencing function is seen on social media sites in at least two

different ways:
(1) direct influence attempts
(2) indirect influence attempts
 To Play
Talking with friends about your weekend activities, discussing sports
or dates, telling stories and jokes, tweeting, and posting a clever joke
or photo on some social media site and in general just passing the
time are play functions. Far from frivolous, this extremely important
purpose gives your activities a necessary balance and your mind a
needed break from all the seriousness around you. In online
communication, perhaps the most obvious forms of play are the
interactive games in a real or virtual reality environment.
 To Help

Therapists of various kinds serve a helping function professionally by offering

guidance through interpersonal interaction. But everyone interacts to help in
everyday encounters. Success in accomplishing this helping function, professionally
or otherwise, depends on your knowledge and skill in interpersonal communication.
 Interpersonal Communication Is
Ambiguous

An ambiguous message is a message that can be interpreted as having more than

one meaning. Sometimes ambiguity occurs because people use words that can
be interpreted differently.

Some degree of ambiguity exists in all interpersonal

communication. When you express an idea, you never
communicate your meaning exactly and totally; rather, you
communicate your meaning with some reasonable accuracy.
Sometimes, of course, you’re less accurate than you anticipated. Perhaps
your listener “gets the wrong idea” or “gets offended” when you only meant
to be humorous, or the listener “misunderstands your emotional meaning.”
These additional explanations help the other person understand your
meaning and reduce uncertainty.

This quality of ambiguity makes it extremely important to resist

jumping to conclusions about the motives of a speaker.
It is New Year’s Eve and you want to go out with
your colleagues, but your best friend expects you to
spend the night at her home like you do every year.
How will you break it to your friend?

a. Tell your friend directly.

b. Drop subtle hints about your preference around
your friend.
c. Grouse about not wanting to be cooped up at
home.
d. Promise to spend New Year’s Day with your
friend instead.
A different kind of ambiguity called strategic ambiguity is used
when you want to be ambiguous, and it is seen in a variety of
situations.

The interviewer who compliments you on your interview may

be acting strategically ambiguous to keep you interested in the
position while the company interviews more and perhaps better
candidates.
Strategic ambiguity is helpful in lots of situations. In addition to the types of
situations identified in the examples, strategic ambiguity is useful in delaying
decisions generally. It is also often useful when you don’t want to insult someone but
don’t want to lie either, for example, saying “That was some performance” instead of
“It stunk.” Or responding to someone’s request for a compliment with “It sure is different” instead of “It’s
horrible; you need to get it changed.
 Interpersonal Relationships May Be
Symmetrical
or Complementary

Interpersonal relationships can be described as either symmetrical or complementary. In a

symmetrical relationship, the two individuals mirror each other’s behavior. If one
member nags, the other member responds in kind. If one member is passionate, the other
member is passionate. If one member expresses jealousy, the other member also
expresses jealousy. If one member is passive, so is the other. The relationship is one of
equality, with the emphasis on minimizing the differences between the two individuals
 In a complementary relationship, the two individuals engage in different
behaviors. The behavior of one serves as the stimulus for the other’s
complementary behavior. In complementary relationships, the differences
between the parties are maximized. The people occupy different positions,
one superior and the other inferior, one passive and the other active, one
strong and the other weak. At times, cultures establish such relationships—
for example, the complementary relationship between teacher and student or
between employer and employee.
 Interpersonal Communication Refers to
Content and Relationship

Messages may refer to the real world (content messages); for example, to the events and
objects you see before you. At the same time, however, they also may refer to the
relationship between the people communicating (relationship messages). For example, a
judge may say to a lawyer, “See me in my chambers immediately.” This simple message
has both a content aspect, which refers to the response expected (namely, that the lawyer
will see the judge immediately), and a relationship aspect, which says something about
the relationship between the judge and the lawyer and, as a result of this relationship,
about how the communication is to be dealt with.
In any two communications, the content dimension may be the same, but the
relationship aspect may be different, or the relationship aspect may be the same and the
content dimension different. For example, the judge could say to the lawyer, “You had
better see me immediately” or “May I please see you as soon as possible?” In both cases,
the content is essentially the same; that is, the message about the expected response is the
same. But the relationship dimension is quite different. The first message signifies a
definite superior–inferior relationship; the second signals a more equal relationship, one
that shows respect for the lawyer.
 At times the content is different but the relationship is essentially the same. For
example, a daughter might say to her parents, “May I go away this weekend?” or
“May I use the car tonight?” The content of the two questions is clearly very
different. The relationship dimension, however, is the same. Both questions
clearly reflect a superior–inferior relationship in which permission to do certain
things must be secured.

Arguments over the content dimension are relatively easy to resolve. Generally,
you can look up something in a book or ask someone what actually took place. It
is relatively easy to verify disputed facts. Arguments on the relationship level,
however, are much more difficult to resolve, in part because you may not
recognize that the argument is in fact a relational one. Once you realize that it is,
you can approach the dispute appropriately and deal with it directly.
 Interpersonal Communication Is a
Series of Punctuated Events

Communication events are continuous

transactions. There is no clear-cut
beginning and no clear-cut end. As
participants in or observers of the
communication act, you segment this
continuous stream of communication
into smaller pieces. You label some of
these pieces causes or stimuli and others
effects or responses.
 Interpersonal Communication Is
Inevitable, Irreversible and Unrepeatable

1) Inevitability
Often communication is thought of as intentional, purposeful,
and consciously motivated. In many instances it is. But the inevitability principle
means that, in many instances, you’re communicating even though you might not think
you are or might not even want to be. In an interactional situation, all behavior is
potentially communication. Any aspect of your behavior may communicate if the other
person gives it message value. On the other hand, if the behavior goes unnoticed, then
no commu?nication has taken place.
 2) Irreversibility
Interpersonal communication is irreversible. This quality of irreversibility means that what
you have communicated remains communicated; you cannot uncommunicate. Although
you may try to qualify, negate, or somehow reduce the effects of your message, once it has
been sent and received, the message it self cannot be reversed. In interpersonal interactions
(especially in conflict), you need to be especially careful that you don’t say things you may
wish to withdraw later.
Face-to-face communication is evanescent; it fades after you have spoken. There is no trace of
your communications outside the memories of the parties involved or of those who overheard
your conversation. In computer-mediated communication, however, the messages are written
and may be saved, stored, and printed. Both face-to-face and computer-mediated messages may
be kept confidential or revealed publicly.
Because electronic communication is often permanent, you may wish to
be cautious when you’re e-mailing, posting your profile, or posting a
message.

Consider the following:

• Electronic messages are virtually impossible to destroy. Often e-mails

that you think you deleted or a post you wrote in anger will remain on
servers and workstations and may be retrieved by a clever hacker or may
simply be copied and distributed to people you’d rather not have see what
you wrote.
• Electronic messages can easily be made public. Your post on your blog or on a
social networking site can be sent to anyone. Your rant about a former employer may
reach a prospective employer, who may see you as a complainer and reject your job
application. In fact, employers regularly search such sites for information about job
candidates.

• Electronic messages are not privileged communication; they

can easily be accessed by others and be used against you. And
you’ll not be able to deny saying something; it will be there in
black and white.
 3) Unrepeatability
In addition to being inevitable and irreversible, interpersonal communication is
unrepeatable. The reason for this quality of unrepeatability is simple: everyone and
everything is constantly changing. As a result, you can never recapture the
exact same situation, frame of mind, or relationship dynamics that defined a previous
interpersonal act. For example, you can never repeat the experience of meeting a
particular person for the first time, comforting a grieving friend, or resolving a specific
conflict. And, as you surely know, you never get a second chance to make a first
impression. You can, of course, try again, as when you say, “I’m sorry I came off so
forward; can we try again?” But notice that even when you say this, you don’t erase the
initial impression.
 RESOURCES

The interpersonal communication book. (13th ed.). Pearson. DeVito, J. A. (2018).

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