SURVIVING A CRITICAL

SPIRIT
MARY AND MARTHA
WHO IS MARY?

Mary of Bethany
We will discuss her role as a model contemplative,
woman of great insight, compassion, and confidence as
a disciple of Jesus.
• A Woman of Depth
• Mary was a woman of great depth, empathy and spiritual connection with
God. She was the sister of Martha and of Lazarus. She was compassionate and
bold in her connectedness with Jesus. She also led a life of devotion, study and
contemplative practices yearning to know her Lord better. Alongside her sister,
Mary shared her home with Jesus and his disciples when he needed a place to
rest and recharge. Mary shows up in three stories in the Bible, once when
Martha asked Jesus to scold Mary for not helping her more, a second time
after Lazarus’ death and a the third time is when Mary used an expensive jar of
spikenard oil and poured it all out over Jesus’ feet, wiping it up with her hair.
• This story of Mary in John 12:1-8 has often been confused with Mary
Magdalene, and she has been misunderstood as a woman who was a harlot
(apparently since she showed her hair so brazenly). However, it is actually a
story of a woman of deep conviction and devotion, acutely spiritually aware of
what Jesus was about to endure on the cross. Mary gave all that she had and
devoted it all to Jesus in that moment, and for that she is one of the greatest
people of faith in the Bible.
• A Woman Defended
• Jesus saw in Mary a reflection of his own faith and appreciated her for how she understood
him.
• She simply got it. She got Jesus, and she got what God was up to in the world. This is her
greatest legacy as a mother of our faith. She understood deeply when others around her were
missing all the cues. What incredible sensitivity and awareness she had!
• Jesus came to her defense twice when others objected to her doing the “wrong” thing. Once
when Martha complained she wasn’t helping enough, Jesus said: “One thing is necessary.
Mary has chosen the better part. It won’t be taken away from her.” (Luke 10:42). And the
second time when Judas Iscariot complained she wasted perfume worth a full year's wage.
To this Jesus replied: “Leave her alone. This perfume was to be used in preparation for my
burial, and this is how she has used it. You will always have the poor among you, but you
won’t always have me” (John 12:7-8).
• Mary could see what so many missed because she spent time developing a
sensitive spirit. She was also given the spiritual gifts of wisdom and knowledge,
gifts that the Holy Spirit gives to this day as a way to encourage and edify the
church for its mission in the world. Her passion to seek God, her trust in Jesus,
and her gifts of wisdom and knowledge led her to be a leader of great insight
and power in the earliest church and an example for all disciples to follow.
WHO IS MARTHA?

Martha lived in the town of Bethany, which means “house of welcome”

or “house of figs.” Bethany was a small town located at the foot of the Mt.
of Olives about 3 kilometers (1.7 miles) east of Jerusalem. The town was
a suburb of the capital city and as such proved to be an important place of
rest for Jesus just outside the chaotic crowds of Jerusalem. Jesus stayed
there, probably with Martha and her family, during the last week of His life.
On the day of His triumphal entry, He departed from Bethany.
• Weaknesses:
• 1. Distracted from the best by the good
• Martha is a very interesting character. She had a very unique and special
opportunity to serve as a hostess for Jesus. On several occasions (including
probably Jesus’ last week), she and her family opened her home to Jesus. Of all the
people who have ever lived, Martha is one of the few who could visit with Jesus face
to face and interact with Him in a personal setting as a friend. What a privilege!
• But as has been said, “with great privilege comes great responsibility!” Martha had a
heavy sense of responsibility at having Jesus over. She wanted to be hospitable.
She wanted to be a good host. Martha seems to have wanted everything to be
perfect for Jesus. Perhaps she was making Him a special dish. Or perhaps she
wanted His room clean and tidy so that He could have a comfortable rest. It is an
admirable goal.
• But the text says that she was “distracted by all her preparations.” What was she distracted
from? She was distracted from spending time with Jesus. Jesus clearly told her that Mary
had made the better choice. Mary decided to simply put aside all the work and the worry
and focus on listening to Jesus. Martha was thinking, “lazy!” But Jesus commended her. He
clearly did not care about having the perfect dinner, the exactly correct seasoning, or a
room that was spotless. Jesus wanted to have time with them, the people, His people.
• And this was far more important than whatever Martha was readying. Martha had the
opportunity of a lifetime. Perhaps decades from now she would surely think back to this
very day. People may even ask her, “What was it like to have the Savior in your house?”
And Martha might answer, “I don’t really know. I was busy trying to get a stain out of a
cloth.”
• It was not a wrong thing that she was doing. But it did distract her from something far more
valuable.
Reflect:
What are some good things that might distract you
from something better?
2. Easily stressed and worried
Jesus could see that Martha was stressed out. And Martha’s worry overflowed
to all of those present. Jesus said, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and
bothered by so many things.”
Repeating her name twice was a gentle admonition.
Martha was a worry-wart.
• Reflect:
What kinds of things do you worry about when you have guests over?

• Here are some of the things Martha may have been worried about:
• Buying just the right ingredients for preparing the meal.
• Getting a good deal on those ingredients.
• Using those ingredients in just the right proportion.
• Cooking dishes that Jesus would like.
• Cooking and baking things for just the right amount of time.
• The air flow and temperature of the house.
• Reflect:
What is the underlying cause of stress and worry?
• Worry can be cause by a lack of faith. Or it can be caused by placing undue
importance on non-essential matters.
3. Bossy to Jesus
• Martha was stewing about the fact that she had to do all the work. She grew more
and more flustered. And finally she had it. So she told Jesus, “Tell her [Mary] to help
me.” Martha was taken over by her emotions. And she temporarily lost her mind.
Jesus is the Son of the God, the Messiah, the Savior of the world. And here she was
bossing Him around, commanding Him to command her sister to help.
• It was inappropriate to talk to Jesus in this way. But stress and frustration often
causes people to speak without thinking.
• In fact, many people treat God like this. They view God as their personal
servant or wish-granter. And they expect that God should give them
what they want and when they want it. Instead of humbly submitting
their petition, they mistakenly demand God to intervene on their behalf.
They, like Martha, forget who they are talking to.
• Let us think about our petitions carefully and humbly submit them to
God as His subjects, not His boss.
• Strengths:
1. Hospitable

• Martha’s weakness appears to be that she is “too hospitable.” If you are

going to have a weakness, that is a pretty good one to have! David was
an adulterer. Moses was a murderer. Peter was a liar. And Martha was
too hospitable.
• Certainly in this case Martha did not choose the most important thing,
being with Jesus. But this does not negate the fact that she was a very
dedicated hostess. Neither does it mean that we should not pay
attention to details and make our guests feel comfortable. We, for
example, do not have Jesus visit our houses so do not face the same
choice that she did.
• Hospitality should be sincere and from the heart. It is not about putting on a show or
impressing people.
• Reflect:
• How would you define hospitality? What are the qualities that a good host needs?
2. Servant
• Martha was not looking to have Jesus serve her. One translation says that Martha was
“distracted by serving.” Here you can see Martha’s heart. She wanted to make things
nice for others. Looking for ways to serve is a good quality.
• There are very few people in the world who will be so intent on serving that they are
distracted by it.
• Reflect: In a church or a family there is a lot of work to do. Take for example a person
who serves at church so much they are always busy and don’t have much time to sit at
Jesus’ feet. He says, “I am serving like Martha so that others can be free of distractions
3. Do not allow trivial things to cause stress and worry.
• Do not major on the minors. Much stress and worry is caused by focusing on things
that are either not at all important or completely outside of one’s control. Martha is so
famous for worrying that a phrase was invented, “Don’t be a Martha.” It means that
you should not worry so much.
• You can probably think and remember events in your life that should have been
happy, which were ruined or spoiled by excessive worrying. Worrying can wreck the
mood of a family, bringing disharmony, grumpiness, complaining, and bad attitudes.
And it doesn’t help.
• Jesus said in Matthew 6:27, “And which of you by worrying can add even one
hour to his life?”
Are you a worrier? When you feel that worry is starting to overcome you, just pull
back and quiet yourself down. Spend some quality time with Jesus. And follow the
command in 1 Peter 5:7, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.”
4. God may not ask others to do the same thing as what you are doing –
• Maybe God has called you to serve in a specific area. Good! Do your best! But that
doesn’t mean God wants everyone else to join you. We are part of a team. And each
member has their own gifting and calling. Do not push others to do what you are
doing, but instead be understanding that God uses each person in different ways.
5. God’s timing is not our timing and God’s ways are not our ways –
• Martha and Mary sent a letter to Jesus, expecting that He would come right away to
heal Lazarus. But He didn’t. And Lazarus died. They couldn’t understand why Jesus
allowed to happen. And you can almost detect blame in their words, “if you had been
here, my brother would not have died.”
• How could Jesus allow this to happen? How could He not come right away when
they needed Him?
• The answer is that God’s timing is not our timing. God had a bigger and better plan.
He was going to do something amazing which they did not understand or expect. Of
course we know that He raised Lazarus from the dead. Jesus was proving the
incredible statement, “I am the resurrection and the life.” He was giving one more
powerful evidence that He was the Son of God, an evidence that is still speaking to
people today.
• Like Martha, we often don’t understand why God does things. We don’t understand
why He delays in answering our prayers. But we must trust that He has a plan. And
His plan is better than ours.
Reflect:
Share about a time when you have experienced this truth in your life. Perhaps it was a
delayed answer to prayer or a trial which you did not understand. What did you learn
from this experience?
The strategy for learning how to survive a critical spirit is learning how to
celebrate life. In other words, JOY-------- NOT CRITICISM, becomes the pattern
of our thinking and speaking. This transformation in our lives can take place
when the following steps are taken.
STEP 1: MAKE A DAILY CHOICE FOR JOY.
When you get up, focus on the blessings and opportunities that God has set before you.
Determine that your words throughout the day will be positive rather than judgmental. It’s a
choice that only you can make.
STEP 2: CHOOSE AT LEAST ONE FRIEND WHO WILL ENCOURAGE YOUR PURSUIT
OF JOY.
If you want to overcome critical spirit, you must avoid those who are critical and seek to be
around those who are positive and joyful.
STEP 3: CELEBRATE GOD’S GOODNESS IN YOUR LIFE.
Sometimes we are focused on criticizing and complaining that we are unaware of the
incredible blessings and gifts that God has given to us. Set aside a regular time to thank God
for what He is doing in your life. Ask Him to recreate His spirit in you--------- a spirit that
seeks life’s harmony, not destruction and death.
STEP 4: TEST EVERY WORD AND ACTION.
“THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK”..
Your words can be used for great good or great evil.
Thank you and God bless!!