CCLC 1201

ENGLISH ACADEMIC WRITING I

YVONNE WONG

[email protected]
Evaluation Essay: Items
Structural components Other features

Introduction (1) • title (1)

Body paragraphs (3)
Conclusion (1) • Reference list (1)
For an
essay,
think this:
Lecture Flow
I. Evaluation Essay
structure and components: 7 parts
How to evaluate: the 4 evaluation criteria for
weighing the benefits and drawbacks of a proposed
solution

II. Introduction and thesis statement

III. Term essay guidelines

 Reading I “Genetically Engineered Food and Genetically Modified Organisms”

Question: Evaluate ONE major benefit and ONE major drawback of growing GM crops as a solution to global food
shortages.

The Reading II
Question:
“The Environmental Crisis in Your Closet”
Evaluate ONE major benefit and ONE major drawback of boycotting clothes made in India as a solution
PROBLEM to the environmental pollution caused by the textile and garment industry.

S and
SOLUTION
S Reading III “The Real Threat of Artificial Intelligence”
Question: Evaluate ONE major benefit and ONE major drawback of retarding the development of artificial
intelligence as a solution to mass unemployment.
HERE…
Reading IV “Sugar-sweetened beverages as the new tobacco: examining a proposed tax policy through a Canadian
social justice lens”
Question: Evaluate ONE major benefit and ONE major drawback of taxing sweetened drinks as a solution to
obesity in society.
Reading V “Why We Should Allow Performance Enhancing Drugs In Sport”
Question: Evaluate ONE major benefit and ONE major drawback of allowing performance enhancing drugs in
sports competitions as a solution to the issue of fairness.
THE SKILLS YOU’LL NEED TO COMPLETE
T H I S TA S K / W R I T E T H I S E S S AY ?

Do you
see…
The 2 skills required here…

COMPARISON
EVALUATION
I. Evaluation
Essay
Refer to the sample essay annotated
Evaluation
criteria: 4
 Social /
Econ
cultural
(money)
(people)
Discussing impacts….

tech environmental
 •B&D
Time • Short term
• Long term
EVALUATING

Impacts
•B&D
Scale / • Big
size • Small
 • B&D

Who’s • Stakeholders: who are they?

Powerful or vulnerable?
• Non-human stakeholders: our

affected environment?

• B&D

Side •
•
•
The different aspects:
Social

effects
Econ
• Tech
• Environmental
Practice time…
• Question:

Evaluate ONE major benefit and ONE major drawback of

opening a can of sugar drink as a solution to the problem of
sleepy lectures.
II. Essay Writing: introduction

a. Styles: general / academic / academic research

b. Content and Function(s)
c. Components:
Thesis statement
Opening sentence
 a. Styles: academic /
academic research / general
1.Bookstore shelves today are crammed with dozens of different diet
books. The American public seems willing to try any sort of diet.
Unfortunately, some of these fad diets are ineffective or even unsafe. One
of the worst fad diets is the Palm Beach plan. It is impractical, doesn’t
achieve the results it claims, and is a sure route to poor nutrition.
2. The ways in which people communicate differ significantly around the
world. What people say, how they say it, and what they mean when they
say it depend on the standards and customs of their society. People in
some cultures, for example, tend to say things directly, whereas those in
other cultures speak indirectly. Some cultures value formal means of
communication, while other societies prefer the informal; some cultures
stress emotional expression, and others emphasize logical expression.
These variations in the forms and functions of verbal communication,
reflecting culturally learned values, often lead to intercultural conflict and
misunderstanding.
•3. There is a range of definitions of this term, but in this paper ‘e-learning’
refers to any type of learning situation where content is delivered via the
internet. Learning is one of the most vital components of the contemporary
knowledge-based economy. With the development of computing power and
technology the internet has become an essential medium for knowledge
transfer. Various researchers (Webb and Kirstin, 2003; Honig et al., 2006)
have evaluated e-learning in a healthcare and business context, but little
attention so far has been paid to the reactions of students in higher
education to this method of teaching. The purpose of this study was to
examine students’ experience of e-learning in a higher education context.

•4. A range of studies was first reviewed, and then a survey of 200 students
from a variety of disciplines was conducted to assess their experience of e-
learning. Clearly a study of this type is inevitably restricted by various
constraints, notably the size of the student sample, and this was limited to
students of Pharmacy and Agriculture. The paper is structured as follows. The
first section presents an analysis of the relevant research, focusing on the
current limited knowledge regarding the student experience. The second part
presents the methodology of the survey and an analysis of the findings, and
the final section considers the implications of the results for the delivery of e-
learning programmes.
 B. Content and functions

(a) What is normally found in an essay introduction?

Components Y/N

(i) A definition of any unfamiliar terms in the title.

(ii) Your opinions on the subject of the essay.

(iii) Mention of some sources you have read on the topic.

(iv) A provocative idea or question to interest the reader.

(v) Your aim or purpose in writing.

(vi) The method you adopt to answer the question (or an outline).

(vii) Some brief background to the topic.

(viii) Any limitations you set yourself.

 1.In the past 20 years the ability of juries to assess
complex or lengthy cases has been widely debated. Background

2.The rest of the paper is organised as follows. The Outline

second section explains why corporate governance
is important for economic prosperity. The third
section presents the model specification and
describes the data and variables used in our
+(b) Read the extracts
empirical analysis. The fourth section reports and
below from
discusses the empirical results. The fifth section
introductions to articles
concludes.
and decide which of the
functions listed above (i
– viii) they are examples
of.
3.The purpose of this paper is to investigate changes Purpose
in the incidence of extreme warm and cold
temperatures over the globe since 1870.
4.There is no clear empirical evidence sustaining a ‘managerial Mention of
myopia’ argument. Pugh et al. (1992) find evidence that sources
supports such theory, but Meulbrook et al. (1990), Mahoney et
al. (1997), Garvey and Hanka (1999) and a study by the Office of
the Chief Economist of the Securities and Exchange Commission
(1985) find no evidence.

5.‘Social cohesion’ is usually defined in reference to common Definition

aims and objectives, social order, social solidarity and the sense
of place attachment.

6.This study will focus on mergers in the media business Limitations

between 1990 and 2005, since with more recent examples an
accurate assessment of the consequences cannot yet be made.
C. Thesis statement

i) Cut the following into two parts.

Where will you lay the cut? Why?

• The life of the typical college student is characterized by

time spent studying, attending class, and socializing with
peers.

• High school graduates should be required to take a year

off to pursue community service projects before entering
college in order to increase their maturity and global
awareness.

• An analysis of the college admission process reveals one

challenge facing counselors: accepting students with high
test scores or students with strong extracurricular
backgrounds.
II) What will you expect to read in the following paragraphs?

• by time spent studying, attending class, and socializing with peers.

• in order to increase their maturity and global awareness.

• accepting students with high test scores or students with strong

extracurricular backgrounds.
Is this sentence important?
Yes: it shows the

• central message / focus / stance and argument

• Structure

of the essay
 Thesis statement

• A sentence that contains the main argument /

opinion of your essay; makes a claim

• Placed as the last sentence of the introduction

• Again: REMEMBER TO INCLUDE ONE IN YOUR

INTRODUCTION !
Thesis statements should be…
• Thesis statements are weak if they are too vague and unfocused. Therefore you
should add some focus to your thesis statement to make it stronger:
• TOPIC + OPINION + LIMITING FACTOR (explains why, how, under what circumstances,
etc)

• Identify the TOPIC & OPINION & LIMITING FACTOR in the following sentence:

a. EAW courses are very important since they prepare you to communicate well in
academic settings.
b. High school graduates should be required to take a year off to pursue community
service projects before entering college in order to increase their maturity and
global awareness.
 Evaluate the thesis statement as Strong (the thesis is a focused, clear point)
or Weak (the thesis is general statement without a limited scope/
assertion).
1. Crime is a major concern of everyone in our country.
why? Can you make it better?

2. My parents had only one child.

Why? Can you make it better?

3, Fast fashion drives people to consume fashion blindly without thinking that these goods
are just wastes-to-be in the future.
Why? Can you make it better?

4. The individual's role in democracy is very important.

Why? Can you make it better?
5. In this essay, I want to talk about the crime wave in Hong Kong.
Why? Can you make it better?

6. Fashion is something luxurious and wasteful, as it is a way for the privileged to show
off, a form of destruction to the environment and a profitable business to fashion
companies.
Why? Can you make it better?

7. Child abuse is a terrible problem in our country.

Why? Can you make it better?
 Thesis Statement Strong Weak

Crime is a major concern of everyone in our

country.

My parents had only one child.

+Evaluate the following thesis statement

Fast fashion drives people to consume fashion
as Strong (the thesis is a focused, clear blindly without thinking that these goods are just
point) or Weak (the thesis is general wastes-to-be in the future.
statement without a limited scope/
assertion), and be prepared to explain
your answer.

The individual's role in democracy is very

important.
5. In this essay, I want to talk about the crime wave in Hong Kong.

6. Fashion is something luxurious and wasteful, as it is a way for the

privileged to show off, a form of destruction to the environment and a
profitable business to fashion companies.

7. Child abuse is a terrible problem in our country.

 Common problems with thesis statements

Thesis Statements Types of mistake

• Optimism is a good attitude to • It is a question, not a statement
have.
• Companies that pollute the earth
• It is too emotional / subjective
in search of profits are evil.
• Genetically modified food is
heavily regulated in some • It is a fact, not an opinion
countries.
• Is clarity in academic writing • It is too broad or vague
important?
III. Opening sentence
 Time Topic Development
Opening phrase

sentence Currently, the control has emerged as potential

of cause of international
water friction.
• It can be difficult to start writing an resources
essay, but especially in exams,
hesitation will waste valuable time.
The first few sentences should be
general but not vague, to help the
reader focus on the topic.

• They often have the following Since electric have become a serious
pattern: 2008, vehicles commercial proposition.
• It is important to avoid opening sentences that are over-general and
vague.

• Compare A & B. Which one you think will earn a higher grade?
Explain your choice.

A) Nowadays there is a lot of competition among different news

providers.

B) Newspapers are currently facing strong competition from rival news

providers such as the internet and television.
Topic sentence
Thesis statement: Ultimately, standardized testing should a. Where can we find the topic sentence?
be abandoned as it fails to reveal students’ true ability in learning.

b. Look at words in BLUE. What does it connect with?

On the other hand, the exploitation of the system of
standardized testing does not provide accurate evaluations of a
student’s knowledge and learning capabilities. Critics of
c. Look at the words in RED. How do they relate to the
standardized testing often claim it turns the pursuit of knowledge
Topic sentence? If yes, which idea in the topic sentence?
actually into a pursuit of higher test scores, since this system
prioritizes the regurgitating of ‘model answers’. These effects
d. Look at the words in Purple. How do they relate to the
may ultimately bring more serious problems to students. Those
Topic sentence? If yes, which idea in the topic sentence?
who achieve academic success through mere memorization will
simply continue to use this strategy, neglecting other aspects of
their development and harming their future competitiveness.
Furthermore, students who are able to think creatively may feel
constrained and discouraged by the standardized testing system,
when the system fails to properly recognize their ability. In this
regard, standardized testing does a disservice to all students.
 a. Where can we find it?

--the f__________ sentence of a paragraph

b. What does it do for us?

--it substantiates or s________ an essay’s thesis statement

-- it unifies the c________ of a paragraph and directs the o______ of the sentences
Are they good topic sentences? Why?
1. Many language students prefer bilingual dictionaries to monolingual
dictionaries.

2. Libraries have books.

3. Tea is delicious.

4. This dictionary contains more than 42,000 words

Criteria of a good topic sentence?

1. It is not a f_______.

2. It is specific.

3. It is not t______ specific.

4. It has a controlling idea that limits the topic and guides the flow of
the paragraph. The controlling idea tells the reader what you will say
about your topic.
Read each topic sentence. Identify the topic and the controlling idea. What information do you expect to find in the
paragraph?

1. The new test has three sections dealing with three important skills.

Paragraph?

2. The shocking crash of the airplane off the coast of Florida confused investigators.

Paragraph?

3. Crossword puzzles are not only educational and fun, but also addictive.

Paragraph?

4. Recent research has shown once again that eating dark green, leafy vegetables such as broccoli and cabbage may
reduce the risk of some types of cancer.

Paragraph?

5. Although buying a house may seem like a good idea, renting an apartment has many advantages.

Paragraph?
 Read the paragraphs and write a topic sentence for each.

Passage 2
Passage 1
Reasons for Playing Instruments A Method for Learning New Words

Some people learn to play a musical instrument because In the Keyword Method, language learners make a
they want to have fun. They want to play it with their connection between the sound of the word they are
friends or maybe in a band. Other people learn to play an trying to learn and a word in their first language. For
instrument because it is part of their culture. Certain example, a Japanese learner of English might
instruments are popular in some cultures, such as the connect the English word hatchet with the Japanese
guitar in Spain or the oud1 in the Middle East. Sometimes, word hachi, which means “eight,” because the two
people even learn to play an instrument because they think words have a similar sound. In the second step,
it will make them smarter. They want to keep their mind learners make a picture in their heads to help them
busy, and music is different from the work they think about remember the word. In this case, the learner might
all day long. In sum, there is clearly not just one main imagine a person using a hatchet to cut down eight
reason that people play a musical instrument. trees. For many language learners, the Keyword
Method is effective.
1 oud: a stringed instrument that is popular in the Middle
East
IV) Do you think the following sentences are effective in ending a paragraph?
Why or why not?
Concluding Statement Effective Ineffective
1. Although I’m probably not qualified to tell our legislators how
to run their prison system, I do think they should consider the
points I’ve just made.

2. If professional teams continue moving to new cities every few

years, football will soon lose the fans that have supported it so
faithfully in the past.

3. Now that I’ve discussed the arguments for and against school
vouchers, let me tell you what I think.

4. To conclude, to avoid graduating with a mountain of consumer

debt, students should avoid using credit cards until after college.

5. Remember that the day-to-day choices you make about how you
spend your time will determine whether you achieve your career
goals in the future.
Concluding Statement

(1) to reiterate the main point developed by the body sentences and (2) to signal the reader that this is the end of the paragraph. The concluding
sentence for a stand-alone paragraph should accomplish one of the following:

(a) Restate the topic sentence of the paragraph

(b) Summarize by referring to the key points in the paragraph

(c) Draw a conclusion based on the information set forth in the paragraph

(d) Offer a final observation about the controlling idea

(e) Make a prediction based on the details of the paragraph