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How To Resolve Conflicts in Marriage

The document discusses how to resolve conflicts in marriage. It begins by noting the increasing rate of divorce and importance of protecting marriages. It then outlines a plan to define marriage and conflict, discuss the purposes of marriage, origins of marital conflict, and how to resolve conflicts. Some key points made are that the purpose of marriage is not just children but becoming one flesh, conflicts arise from differences between spouses, and resolving conflicts involves prayer, calm communication, and forgiveness rather than blame. The conclusion emphasizes respecting marriage as instituted by God and seeking his help to succeed through dialogue, forgiveness, and prioritizing God, family, and church.

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Kwablah Tetteh
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128 views27 pages

How To Resolve Conflicts in Marriage

The document discusses how to resolve conflicts in marriage. It begins by noting the increasing rate of divorce and importance of protecting marriages. It then outlines a plan to define marriage and conflict, discuss the purposes of marriage, origins of marital conflict, and how to resolve conflicts. Some key points made are that the purpose of marriage is not just children but becoming one flesh, conflicts arise from differences between spouses, and resolving conflicts involves prayer, calm communication, and forgiveness rather than blame. The conclusion emphasizes respecting marriage as instituted by God and seeking his help to succeed through dialogue, forgiveness, and prioritizing God, family, and church.

Uploaded by

Kwablah Tetteh
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PPTX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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HOW TO RESOLVE

CONFLICTS IN
MARRIAGE?
INTRODUCTION
Nowadays we are helplessly watching the institution
of marriage collapse. People get married in the
morning and they get divorced in the evening. This
situation is also present in our churches today. This is
what motivated us to choose the theme "How to
resolve conflicts in marriage"? To answer this
important question, which will surely help us to
protect some marriages, we will follow the following
plan:
I. Definitions of the words "marriage" and "conflict".
II. Purposes of marriage.
III. The origin of conflict in marriage.
IV. How to resolve conflicts in marriage?
A. What not to do in the resolution of conflicts in
marriage.
B. What you should do in resolving conflicts in marriage.
Conclusion.
I. Definition of the words
"marriage" and "conflict".
A. Definition of the word "marriage".
 Marriage is a legal union of a man and a woman who
sincerely love each other and who have made a
commitment to live together for better or for worse.
 N.B. Marriage comes from God.

 Fromthe beginning God saw that it was not good for


man to be alone, without a helper. Genesis 2:18 "It is
not good for man to be alone; I will make him a
helper like himself.
B.Definition of the word 'Conflict'.
 The word 'Conflict' comes from the Latin 'Conflitus'
which means 'clash', 'shock'.

 According to the Micro Robert Dictionary, conflict is


a meeting of opposing elements, opposing feelings.
If conflicts break out between husband and wife, it
is due to differences of opinion, methods,
education, environment, culture etc.
II. Purposes of marriage
 1. The first purpose of marriage according to the Word of God
is not to have children, but to love each other with the same
heart to form one flesh. It is to live together.

 N.B. God did not say that the man and the woman will join
together to have children but rather to become one flesh. This
is written in Genesis 2:24 "Therefore shall a man leave his
father and mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they
shall be one flesh.
 2. The second purpose of marriage is to "leave", i.e.
to depart, abandon, move, and separate. The only
valid reason we have before God for leaving the
parental relationship is the full manifestation of a
married life.
 3. The third purpose of marriage is attachment. The
man will cleave to his wife. This is a dynamic action.
Indeed, a man should be attached to his wife, not to
his friends, his work, his money, his village and his
religious activities.
 N.B. He who neglects to be attached to his spouse is a
destroyer of his own home! "He who is slack in his work
is the brother of the destroyer," the Bible tells us in
Proverbs 18:9.
III. The origin of conflict
 1. The husband and wife are each a being with
a unique history. Both are called to live together
to form a common history. They have different
reactions to the circumstances they encounter.
 2. According to the psychologist AZRIN, the intercession
between spouses occurs in the following valuable areas that
can be problematic:

 - household issues - children's education - money issues -


hobbies - sexual life - husband's or wife's work - husband's or
wife's independence - issues related to beautiful families -
the area of spiritual conviction - late returns and prolonged
absence from home - infidelity - absence of dialogue -
jealousy - lack of transparency between spouses - sterility -
frequent death of children - parents' interventions
IV. How to resolve
conflicts in marriage?
A. What not to do in
conflict resolution
1 . Do not wait for your husband or wife to ask for
forgiveness, do not refuse to make the first move. The
Bible tells us in Matthew 5:23-24: "If therefore you
present your offering before the altar, and there
remember that your brother has something against
you, leave your offering there before the altar, and go
first to be reconciled with your brother or sister.
 2. Do not keep the conflict inside you, you risk
prolonging it.
 3. Do not blame the person rather than the conflict.
Do not confuse the person with the problem.

 4. Don't refuse to go through with it by stifling the


conflict in its early stages.
B. What you need to do in
resolving conflict in
marriage
 1. Pray that the Lord will give us the wisdom to deal with
the problem.

 

 2. Express your discomfort in a calm tone of voice, without


shouting. Follow this 6-step plan for resolving conflict:

. Define the problem (Why did this conflict happen or
a

what caused this disagreement?).


 b. Decide how to deal with it (i.e. find a good time to
talk about it together).
 c. Formulate better solutions.
 d. Select the best solution.
 e. Establish an implementation plan.
 f. Review and evaluate the decision.
CONCLUSION
Marriage being an institution of God must be respected by the spouses. Marriage
and family are the heart and core of society and the church. Conflict is one of the
ingredients of marriage. Conflicts should not be confused with arguments. Conflict
is a normal and inevitable part of interpersonal relationships. Since marriage itself
is already a conflict of two people of opposite sex and different culture or
upbringing who have sincerely loved each other and made the decision to live
together, it will never be free from conflict.

But knowing how to resolve these conflicts and how to play the role of spouses in
marriage is the best way to have a happy family in order to succeed in one's
marriage. We must be humble, especially men, so that we can take the first step
towards our spouse to ask for forgiveness and restore marital harmony. We must
not ignore that the devil does not like marriage and that is why he attacks couples
a lot in order to destroy the home and spoil the life of many children by diverting
them from God's plan to make them drug addicts, prostitutes, thieves, murderers
after having succeeded in separating us and causing divorce.
Let us know how to dialogue in our marriage and learn to forgive each
other. Let us seek God's help to succeed in our marriage. The Bible tells us
in these two passages the following: "I am the vine, you are the branches.
He who abides in me and I in him bears much fruit, for without me you can
do nothing. ...." He who finds a wife finds happiness; It is a grace he gets
from the Lord". John 15:5 and Proverbs 18:22.

Let us not enter into marriage in haste. Let us take time to pray to God to
give us our wife or husband, in doing so, we will have fewer problems and
God will give us the grace to love each other sincerely and forgive each
other so that we can resolve conflicts in our marriage. Finally, I recommend
that you follow the following flowchart and you will have fewer problems
and be successful in your marriage:
 1. God.

 2. Family or Home.

 3. Church or Mosque.
 4. Others.
May God bless you all abundantly.
 
Pastor Kazadi Ilunga Matthieu.
Village Church Planting Ministry Supervisor and
Deputy Director

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