Anger Management

Instructor – Faiza Sharif

 Understanding Anger
• Anger is a natural emotion.
• It is one of the many emotions that we feel and that we may feel
in varying degrees such as hate, joy, sadness, hope etc.
• In the most general sense,
“anger is a feeling or emotion that ranges from mild irritation to
intense fury and rage”.
• Anger is a response to those situations where we feel
– threatened,
– we believe harm will come to us,
– we believe that another person has unnecessarily wronged us
– we feel another person close to us, is being threatened or harmed.
– frustration when our needs, desires, and goals are not being met.
 Understanding Anger
• When we become angry, we may lose our patience and act
– impulsively,
– aggressively, or
– violently.
• People often confuse anger with aggression.
• Aggression is behavior that is intended to cause
harm to another person or damage property. This behavior can include
verbal abuse, threats, or violent acts.
• Anger, on the other hand, is an emotion and does not necessarily lead
to aggression.
• Therefore, a person can become angry without acting aggressively.
When Does Anger Become a Problem?
• Anger becomes a problem when it is felt too intensely, is
felt too frequently, or is expressed inappropriately.
• Feeling anger too intensely or frequently places extreme
physical strain on the body, resulting
– certain divisions of the nervous system become highly activated.
– Blood pressure and heart rate increase and stay elevated for long periods.
Hypertension, heart disease, and diminished immune system efficiency.
• Expressing anger inappropriately results
– In violence or physical aggression such as being arrested or jailed,
– being physically injured,
– losing loved ones,
– being terminated society, or
– feeling guilt, shame, or regret.
 Myths About Anger
Myth #1: Anger Is Inherited.
• One misconception or myth about anger is that the way we
express anger is inherited and cannot be changed.
• Evidence from research studies, however, indicates that people are not born
with set, specific ways of expressing anger.
• These studies show, rather, that because the expression of anger is learned
behavior, more appropriate ways of expressing anger also can be learned.

Myth #2: Anger Automatically Leads to Aggression

• A related myth involves the misconception
that the only effective way to express anger is through aggression.
• It is commonly thought that anger is something that builds and escalates to the
point of an aggressive outburst.
 Events That Trigger Anger
• When you get angry, it is because you have encountered an event in your life that
has provoked your anger.
• Many times, specific events touch on sensitive areas. These sensitive areas or “ RED
FLAGS” usually refer to long-standing issues that can easily lead to anger.
• Here are examples of events or issues that can trigger anger:

– Long waits to see your doctor – Having an untidy roommate

– Traffic congestion – Having a neighbor who plays the
– Crowded buses stereo too loud
– A friend joking about a sensitive – Being placed on hold for long
topic periods of time while on the
– A friend not paying back money telephone
owed to you – Being given wrong directions
– Being wrongly accused – Rumors being spread about your
relapse that are not true
– Having money or property stolen
from you.
– Having to clean up someone else’s
mess
 Activity – My RED Flags

Write three major triggers in areas such as

1. University
2. home
3. friends
4. neighborhood
5. country.

Please write them in your journal.

 Aggression Cycle
• An episode of anger can be viewed as consisting of three phases:

– Escalation Phase: is characterized by cues that indicate anger is building. As

you may recall, cues are warning signs, or responses, to anger-provoking
events. If the escalation phase is allowed to continue, the explosion phase will
follow.

– Explosion Phase: is marked by an uncontrollable discharge of anger that is

displayed as verbal or physical aggression.

– Post explosion Phase: is characterized by the negative consequences that

result from the verbal or physical aggression displayed during the explosion
phase. These consequences may include going to jail, being terminated from a
job, social service program, losing family and loved ones, or feelings of guilt,
shame, and regret, and etc.
The Aggression Cycle
 Cues to Anger
• An important aspect of anger monitoring is to identify
the cues that occur in response to the anger-provoking
event.
• These cues serve as warning signs that you have
become angry and that your anger is continuing to
escalate.
• They can be broken down into four cue categories:
– Cognitive Cues
– Emotional Cues
– Physical Cues
– Behavioral Cues
 Cues to Anger

1. Cognitive Cues.
Cognitive cues refer to the thoughts that occur in response
to the anger provoking event. When people become angry,
they may interpret events in certain ways.
• For example, we may interpret a friend’s comments as
criticism, or we may interpret the actions of others as
humiliating.
• Some people call these thoughts “self-talk” because they
resemble a conversation we are having with ourselves.
 Cues to Anger
2. Emotional cues:
• Involve other feelings that may occur concurrently with our
anger.
• For example, we may become angry when we feel abandoned,
afraid, discounted, disrespected, guilty, humiliated, impatient,
insecure, jealous, or rejected.
• These kinds of feelings are the core or primary feelings that
underlie our anger.
• An important component of anger management is to become
aware of, and to recognize, the primary feelings that underlie
our anger.
 Cues to Anger
3. Physical Cues:

• Physical cues involve the way our bodies respond when we become
angry.
• For example, our heart rates may increase, we may feel tightness in
our chests, or we may feel hot and flushed.

4, Behavioral Cues:

• Behavioral cues involve the behaviors we display when we get

angry, which are observed by other people around us.
• For example, we may clench our fists, pace back and
forth, slam a door, or raise our voices.
My Anger Control Assessment
 Why Learning to Control your Anger is
Important
• Out-of-control anger hurts your physical health:
Constantly operating at high levels of stress and tension is bad for your health. Chronic anger makes you
more vulnerable to heart disease, diabetes, high cholesterol levels, a weakened immune system, insomnia,
and high blood pressure.

• Out-of-control anger hurts your mental health: 

Chronic anger consumes huge amounts of mental energy in thinking, making it harder to concentrate, see
the bigger picture, and enjoy life. It can also lead to stress, depression, and other mental health problems.

• Out-of-control anger hurts your career:

Constructive criticism, creative differences, and heated debate can be healthy. But lashing out only distance
your colleagues, supervisors, or clients and erodes their respect. What’s more, a bad reputation can follow
you wherever you go, making it harder and harder to get ahead.

• Out-of-control anger hurts your relationships with others:

It causes lasting scars in the people you love most and gets in the way of your friendships and work
relationships. Chronic, intense anger makes it hard for others to trust you, speak honestly, or feel
comfortable—they never know what is going to set you off or what you will do. Explosive anger is
especially damaging to children.
 Dealing Anger
1. Problem Solving
• When people become upset, they sometimes act impulsively. It
is as if their brain was shut down.
• It is important not to lose our ability to think and problem
solve when we are angry E.g. Angry Mom

2. Count Back, Breathing Exercise & Imagining something

positive and calm.
 3. Coping With Anger By Lowering Your Physiological
Arousal
• Arousal is a scientific term meaning heightened alertness, emotional
feelings, and physiological energy. When we are angry, all of these
things occur.
• We feel ready for action, and we are more likely to yell or hit
something.
• To lower our arousal, we can use relaxation techniques.

• Physical Ways of Responding to Anger, Tension, and Frustration

– Relax/ stretch your muscles
– Exercise
– Change your position
– find a quiet place / pause, close your eyes and breathe deeply
– slow down--sit down, move more slowly
– get a drink of water
– listen to music
 4. Overcoming Anger through Distraction

• One important strategy for calming oneself is using distraction.

• By putting our minds onto something else, we can stop activating the
emotional web of thoughts, memories, and feelings.
• Does that mean that we should always distract ourselves from anger?
• No. As has already been emphasized, anger is a normal, healthy
emotion
• For some people, there is a danger that they will act out and become
aggressive or destructive.
• For people who normally do not allow themselves to be angry,
distraction could be an unhealthy coping mechanism because they
might never deal with the issues that need to be faced.
5. Coping with Anger By Developing Empathy
• One way of diminishing our anger is to attempt to look at a
situation from the standpoint of the person with whom we are
angry.
• Empathy involves being able to take another person’s
perspective and understand how they are feeling.
• For example, a man who is angry with his wife for not keeping
the house straight might see the situation differently if he tries
to imagine all the chores and challenges that she faces during
the day. These might include going to work, picking up
children, taking them to practices and doctors appointments,
and buying groceries.
• In fact, seeing the situation from her point of view might bring
a greater appreciation in general for what she does for the
family.
 6. The Value of Sublimation

• “Sublimation” is an old term which is little used today, but it

has a valuable meaning.
• It is the transforming of one type of emotional and mental
energy into another.
• To sublimate anger is to take the energy from it and convert that
into action which is constructive and purposeful.
• After Candy Lightner’s daughter was killed by a drunk driver,
she eventually founded M.A.D.D., Mother’s Against Drunk
Drivers.
• It is possible to take anger and focus it toward a socially
valuable goal.
Thank You!