PACE Approach

PACE Approach
PACE
• PACE developed by Daniel Hughes, Clinical Psychologist
• PACE is a way of thinking, feeling, communicating and

behaving that aims to make the child feel safe.
• PACE is an open, warm and inviting stance of

unconditional love and joy that is crucial for facilitating
a secure attachment in the parent-child relationship.
PACE increases a child's:
• Sense of safety with his key adults

• Ability to connect with difficult discussions
without activating shame
• Ability to explore their inner world
• Experience and express emotions they have
been unable to
• Make sense of their behaviours
Reduce Feelings of Shame
Shame Guilt
• “I am bad” or “I am unlovable” • “I did something wrong. I
• stressful and painful hurt someone”
• Triggers lies, excuses or blame • Triggers need to repair
• avoid this feeling “I don’t care! It
doesn’t bother me!” or deny • Associated with empathy.
behaviours that activate this • An open centred emotion –
feeling “I didn’t do it!” locus is behaviour.
• Self- centred emotion
• Reduced empathy for others
To facilitate empathy and encourage development of

conscience, try to reduce child’s shame, leaving room
for guilt. Shame precedes guilt in the development
stages.
The PACE Approach
• Playfulness – focus on the positives, provide opportunities

for laughter and enjoyment.
• Acceptance – accept the child, not necessarily their

behaviour.
• Curiosity – be interested and offer ways to help the child

to reflect and make sense of their experiences.
• Empathy – show that you are trying to understand and

that you care about what they are feeling.
Playfulness
• Brings fun and laughter into relationship

• Reduces the intensity of a moment
• Provides reciprocal enjoyment
• learn to experience and regulate positive
affective states
• Conveys confidence and hope and optimism
• Protects children from feeling shame.
Acceptance
• Creates psychological safety
• Thoughts, feelings, beliefs, wishes, desires
• Accepting internal experiences of others we
communicate our understanding
• Your experience is your experience
• Acceptance is different from agreement.
Acceptance is:
• Affirmation
– (affirming the pupils sense of self, the intrinsic value of
their life and their capacity to make a positive contribution
to the world)
• Welcome
– (welcoming the pupil in, regardless of difference. Letting
them know they belong).
• Belief
– (believing that whatever the student communicates in the
‘here and now’ is valid and worth taking notice of a
reflecting on)
• Acknowledgement
– (acknowledging their situation and being aware of the
impact of their history on them).
How can we increase our levels of acceptance?
• Taking responsibility for our own histories – and

accepting that and ourselves first
• Accountability – checking in with others
• Developing our understanding – of the student, their
history
• Slowing things down
• Using specific scripts e.g. I’m not going anywhere. It
feels like you are trying to push me away but I’m still
here.
Curiosity
• Curiosity drives exploration
• Expressing interest
• Shows respect and value
• Helps to build trust
• Helps to find new perspective and helps to
understand behaviour, motives, fears and
thoughts that drive
• Non judgemental wondering
• Adult wondering out loud
Empathy
The ability to feel with someone
• Communicates our curiosity and acceptance
• Helps us to stand in their shoes and recognise
and respond to emotional experiences.
• Not alone
• Grows resilience
• Softens discipline
• Relieves shame
Use the language of empathy
How hard that is You look so sad! I

You seem to be so
for you! I know know how much
disappointed you
you really gave it you were looking
were not able to
your best! forward to that
finish your task
• We can modify what we say if they disagree

– You seem to be quite annoyed with him for that...or maybe not annoyed, maybe just kind
of frustrated and disappointed?
• We can also make comments interwoven with curiosity

– You don’t seem to want to do anything now...can you help me to understand what is
going on?
PACE – How to put it into practice
Playfulness “Thank you
Convey optimism for showing “No wonder
Keep things light me ...” you...”
Acceptance
Be non-judgemental “When did you start
Accept child for who they are feeling like this?”
See behaviour as a way of coping
Curiosity “Have you seen

Show an interest in child’s inner life
someone else act
Discover who they are
like this?”
Empathy Match Affect
Get a deep sense of what the child is experiencing
Get alongside child - let them know you “get” them Verbal and non-verbal
congruence
Keeping yourself safe
Schools must provide a secure base for teachers

• by responding to teachers successes and difficulties within a
PACE model.
• Safe and confidential space and time to discuss troubling
children and any associated feelings they have from these
events.
• Strong relationships between staff
Adjust Your Sails
"You can't control the wind, but you can

adjust your sails.“
Yiddish Proverb

PACE Approach

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PACE Approach

• PACE developed by Daniel Hughes, Clinical Psychologist

• PACE is a way of thinking, feeling, communicating and

• PACE is an open, warm and inviting stance of

• Sense of safety with his key adults

To facilitate empathy and encourage development of

• Playfulness – focus on the positives, provide opportunities

• Acceptance – accept the child, not necessarily their

• Curiosity – be interested and offer ways to help the child

• Empathy – show that you are trying to understand and

• Brings fun and laughter into relationship

• Taking responsibility for our own histories – and

How hard that is You look so sad! I

• We can modify what we say if they disagree

• We can also make comments interwoven with curiosity

Curiosity “Have you seen

Schools must provide a secure base for teachers

"You can't control the wind, but you can

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