Emotional Intelligence

Emotional
Intelligence in
the Workplace
Presenter:
Vice President, Client Services
ESI Employee Assistance Group
Role Play
• Five employees have been assigned to work on a project
and they are having difficulty working together and
completing tasks.
Role Play Questions
1. Can you see this scenario happening in the workplace?
2. What could Maureen have done differently?
3. Did Michelle and Phil express themselves in a

professional manner? What would you say or do that
would be more effective?
4. What can be done about Susan and Patty’s behavior?

Training Overview
• Definition of Emotional Intelligence
• Why it’s Important
• Misconceptions
• The Five Competencies: Self Awareness, Empathy,
Social Skills, Self-Regulation and Motivation
• Case Studies
• Strategies to Increase Skills
How Would You Define
Emotional Intelligence?
Definition of Emotional Intelligence
• The capacity for recognizing our own feelings and those of
others, for motivating ourselves and for managing emotions
well in ourselves and in our relationships.
• Includes five emotional and social competencies:

 Self-awareness
 Empathy
 Social skills
 Self-regulation
 Motivation
*Daniel Goleman - author of
“Working with Emotional Intelligence”
Why Do You Think Emotional
Intelligence Is Important?
The Case for Emotional Intelligence
Schmidt, M. 2012
Image from talentsmart.com
Misconceptions About
Emotional Intelligence
• It’s just about being nice to everyone and thinking positively
• It means letting emotions run freely, or being completely

robotic
• Women are better at it
• It’s connected with intellectual or cognitive abilities
• It’s fixed or genetic

Self-Awareness
• Recognize your emotions early on and
their effects
• Know your strengths and limits
• Have a strong sense of self-worth and

capabilities
Self-Awareness
Case Study #1
Joe rushed in and interrupted Tonya during a meeting to get information
he had been waiting for. In a stressful-demanding tone, Joe stated that he
hadn’t heard back from Tonya and he must have it before the end of the
day.

1. If you were Joe, how would you handle this differently?
2. Should Tonya and/or the meeting members respond or say anything?
3. How do you think Tonya views Joe’s behavior?
4. How do you think Joe’s interruption was perceived by members of the

meeting?
5. How do you think this will effect Tonya and Joe’s working relationship?
Self-Awareness Checklist
 Take time for mental pauses, introspection, and solitary reflection regularly
 Be attuned to and identify your emotions early on
 Accept that emotions are normal
 Exclude negative judgements
 Ask why
 Recognize how your emotions shape what you PERCEIVE, THINK, and DO
 Learn from your experiences and mistakes
 Recognize where you need to improve
 Be open to candid feedback and new perspectives
 Show a sense of humor and perspective about yourself
Internal Dialogue
Irrational Thinking Realistic Thinking

"I would like him to treat me more respectfully
"He can't say that to me – but he's not doing it. So I'll just have to move

he has to give me more respect!" on from this. As there's no law that says he
must “treat me respectfully.”
"I absolutely must do well

on this presentation!"
VS "I want to do well, and I'll be well
prepared and do my very best on it."
"I have to give this "If I miss a line, it won't

presentation exactly be the end of the world.“ The concept
as it's written." is sound and well developed already."
Rewrite the thoughts that script your emotions

Empathy
• Genuinely sense and understand people’s feelings and needs
• Actively listen to others perspectives
• Sensitive to group differences
It is something that you can learn at any age!

Empathy Case Study #2
Mark and Joyce are having a conversation at work. Joyce reports to Mark.
“This situation I am dealing with has proven to be

especially difficult. It’s involved exceptionally long hours
and it’s really tested my patience and stamina. I feel like
it’s never going to be enough and my main workload is
Joyce starting to suffer. Frankly, I’m exhausted.” Mark
“Joyce, you know that we’re super busy right now and we’ve
had these crunch times many times before this. Everyone has
to go the extra mile here. I’m super-stretched too but this is
how it works here. If I can’t have two days off this weekend,
then we all have to grin and bear it. I don’t see any way I can
help you right now. And it might be some time before we get
back to normal. By the way… how far along are you on the
other project? It has to be completed by Monday.
Empathy
Case Study #2 - Questions

1. What was Joyce trying to communicate to Mark, and what did she want from him?

2. What do you think was going through Mark’s mind?
3. How do you think Joyce reacted to Mark’s comments, and what will she think as a
result of this conversation?
4. How would you handle this differently? If you were Mark, what would you say
instead?
5. Do you think it’s possible to express too much empathy?
6. Is it possible to pretend to be empathetic?
7. How can you learn to be empathic even if it’s not your natural tendency?
Empathy Checklist
 Acknowledge feelings first, and let the other person know they have
been heard (even if you can’t change the situation)
 View the situation from the standpoint of the other person
 Probe and listen to hear what’s important
 Verbalize and/or normalize their concerns
 Show you take the other person seriously by making eye contact or
nodding
 As a supervisor/mentor, give timely coaching, and offer assignments

that challenge and foster a person’s skills
Social Skills
• Nurture instrumental relationships
• Build rapport and keep others in the loop
• Work with others towards a shared goal
• Find common ground
• Be persuasive
Social Skills
Case Study #3
Emily’s boss, Kate, has asked that she partner with Ron, the
most negative employee in the department.
How should Emily respond?
1. Roll her eyes, sigh, and say “Okay, whatever.”
2. Ask her boss for strategies on how to collaborate best with Ron
based on his working style.
3. Have a discussion with Ron letting him know she doesn’t want
his negativity to affect the project.
4. All of the above.

Social Skills
Case Study #3 - Questions
1. How could Kate, Ron’s boss, approach him about his

negativity?
2. How could Ron help himself to be perceived as less negative?
3. How can Emily be more effective in dealing with Ron?

Social Skills
True or False?
Having strong social skills and being easy to talk with
are both signs of high emotional intelligence.
Social Skills Checklist
 Value others
 Balance a focus on task with as much attention to relationships
 Collaborate and openly communicate
 Promote a friendly, cooperative climate
 Share credit with team members
 Handle and influence other people’s emotions effectively

Self-Regulation
• Managing disruptive emotions and
impulses effectively
• Flexibility in handling change and

challenges
• Being open to new information or

perspectives
Self-Regulation Case
Study #4
Amy receives an email stating that she will not be
able to take vacation time when she requested it.
Amy kicks her desk and immediately turns to Jason,
her co-worker that sits next to her and says loudly:
“I just received a nasty gram from that jerk in

benefits saying that I can’t take vacation time.
This is ridiculous! I am a senior employee and
should be able to take time off when I want
too! This sucks!!”
Jason agrees with Amy, and they continue
discussing their complaints for a while – getting
more and more riled up.
Questions:
1. If you were Amy, how would you handle this? What about Jason?
2. How do you think their conversation will effect the rest of the co-workers that can hear them?
3. What other consequences do you anticipate this can cause in the short and long term?
Self-Regulation
Alternate Case Study
Sandra, the director of the department enters the conference room where several
employees are sitting and waiting to discuss a customer service issue. Sandra is visibly
upset with a red splotchy face. She begins with a litany of questions for everyone, and
doesn’t hold back.
What would be the best response by an employee:
1. Gary fumbles and stutters while trying to explain the reasons for the mistakes.
He blames another department for the issue.
2. Amy keeps quiet and hopes Sandra calms down soon.

3. Helen looks at Sandra and addresses her clearly in an even tone, acknowledges the
problem, and calmly explains the situation.
4. Dylan silently fumes and thinks of ways to get back at Sandra.
5. Rose defensively says “Sandra please calm down. This isn’t a big deal. Everyone here
works very hard with our customers, and I don’t understand why you are so angry.”
Self-Regulation
• Learn to balance between the rational and emotional
centers of the brain.
Motivation
• Strive to improve or meet a standard of excellence
• Personal drive to achieve goals
• Show initiative and optimism

Motivation
Case Study #5
Lately Eduardo has been dealing with a lot of changes
at work, de-moralized co-workers, and some personal
problems at home. This past week, Eduardo has
noticed that he hasn’t been his usual self, and that it
is probably impacting others. Eduardo reminds
himself that his role in the organization is really
important, and that many people depend upon him.
This helps Eduardo to begin to get back on track.
1. What are some other strategies that Eduardo can use?
2. What are the characteristics of a motivated person?
3. What can you do to stay motivated if there are

barriers like organizational change?
Motivation Checklist
 Develop a sense of personal satisfaction/fulfillment from being interested
in what you are doing
 Seek out other motivated individuals
 Use realistic self talk and remind yourself of previous positive experiences
 Set challenging goals and take calculated risks
 Persist despite setbacks -- which are viewed as a manageable

circumstance
 Operate from hope of success
 Know when to access outside resources or help to get back on track

Emotional Competencies
Successful Failure
Composed and calm under
Self-Control pressure
Moodiness and angry outbursts
Taking responsibility, fixing Acting defensive, covering up and

Conscientiousness the problem and quickly assigning blame
moving forward
High integrity and concern for Undermining the process and trying
Trustworthiness others
to get ahead at any cost
Empathic, tactful and show Lack empathy, abrasive, arrogant,

Social Skills consideration and/or intimidating
Insensitive and manipulative

Cooperative and appreciate
Building Bonds diversity
Questions & Discussion

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Emotional

1. Can you see this scenario happening in the workplace?

2. What could Maureen have done differently?

3. Did Michelle and Phil express themselves in a

4. What can be done about Susan and Patty’s behavior?

• Includes five emotional and social competencies:

• It means letting emotions run freely, or being completely

• Women are better at it

• It’s connected with intellectual or cognitive abilities

• It’s fixed or genetic

• Know your strengths and limits

• Have a strong sense of self-worth and

2. Should Tonya and/or the meeting members respond or say anything?

3. How do you think Tonya views Joe’s behavior?

4. How do you think Joe’s interruption was perceived by members of the

"I absolutely must do well

"I have to give this "If I miss a line, it won't

Rewrite the thoughts that script your emotions

• Actively listen to others perspectives

• Sensitive to group differences

It is something that you can learn at any age!

“This situation I am dealing with has proven to be

5. Do you think it’s possible to express too much empathy?

6. Is it possible to pretend to be empathetic?

 View the situation from the standpoint of the other person

 Probe and listen to hear what’s important

 Verbalize and/or normalize their concerns

 As a supervisor/mentor, give timely coaching, and offer assignments

• Build rapport and keep others in the loop

• Work with others towards a shared goal

• Find common ground

4. All of the above.

1. How could Kate, Ron’s boss, approach him about his

2. How could Ron help himself to be perceived as less negative?

3. How can Emily be more effective in dealing with Ron?

 Balance a focus on task with as much attention to relationships

 Collaborate and openly communicate

 Promote a friendly, cooperative climate

 Share credit with team members

 Handle and influence other people’s emotions effectively

• Flexibility in handling change and

• Being open to new information or

“I just received a nasty gram from that jerk in

2. Amy keeps quiet and hopes Sandra calms down soon.

• Personal drive to achieve goals

• Show initiative and optimism

1. What are some other strategies that Eduardo can use?

2. What are the characteristics of a motivated person?

3. What can you do to stay motivated if there are

 Seek out other motivated individuals

 Set challenging goals and take calculated risks

 Persist despite setbacks -- which are viewed as a manageable

 Know when to access outside resources or help to get back on track

Taking responsibility, fixing Acting defensive, covering up and

Empathic, tactful and show Lack empathy, abrasive, arrogant,

Insensitive and manipulative

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