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Friends

1) The document discusses the importance and value of true friendship according to Christian teachings. It states that true friendship reflects God's love and relational nature. 2) Different types of spiritual friendship are described, from functional to reciprocal relationships where souls are "knitted together". True spiritual friendship involves mutual encouragement on the spiritual path. 3) Signs of pseudo or false friendship are discussed, as well as how to cultivate and maintain real friendships based on trust, forgiveness, and openness. True friendship does not involve control, advice-giving or codependency.

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28 views22 pages

Friends

1) The document discusses the importance and value of true friendship according to Christian teachings. It states that true friendship reflects God's love and relational nature. 2) Different types of spiritual friendship are described, from functional to reciprocal relationships where souls are "knitted together". True spiritual friendship involves mutual encouragement on the spiritual path. 3) Signs of pseudo or false friendship are discussed, as well as how to cultivate and maintain real friendships based on trust, forgiveness, and openness. True friendship does not involve control, advice-giving or codependency.

Uploaded by

smalldolphin
Copyright
© Attribution Non-Commercial (BY-NC)
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PPT, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Fact or myths?

1) Church people are friendly.


2) We talk about friendship in church
a lot as this is widely experienced,
especially in church
Friendship…
• Intimate, lifelong relationships in which
persons are enjoyed simply for who they
are and not what they can do for us.
The value of friendship
• Practically, friendship is crucial to our
emotional and personal development
• We learn to become fully human through
our relational history
• Scripture uses friendship to describe the
relationship of God with His people
• God, the Trinity, in the Godhead reflects
that true spirituality is essentially relational.
• God is love, God is friendship. (1 Jn. 4:16)
• The history of a person’s spiritual
pilgrimage can usually be traced from the
history of that person’s friendship as to
walk as children of God involves the
cultivating the relational life, including
friendship.
Friendship is a path to God

- Distinctive to the Christian faith


But wait, didn’t God tell us to love
everyone?

• ‘If you love those who love you, what


reward will you get?’ (Matt.5:46)

• Non-preferential love for all


On the other hand,
• Lazarus, Mary and Martha (John 11:34-
35)
• The disciple whom he loved (John 13:23)

• Friendship invites us to rejoice in that


particularity, the specialness, of the other,
we learn how to grow in love.
What does the Bible say about
friendship?

• “Two are better than one, because they


have a good reward for their work”
- Rewards are practical support when one
falls down providing warmth and protection
• “a cord of three strands is not easily
broken”(Ecc.4:12)
– a hint of spiritual presence
Spiritual Friendship
• It is companionship and mutual
encouragement along the path of
discipleship, it is friendship with Christ
together.

• Here we are, you and I, and I hope a third,


Christ in our midst – Aelred of Rievaulx
“Use worldly wealth to gain friends for
yourselves, so that when it is gone, you
will be welcomed into eternal dwellings.”
- Luke 16:9
‘Therefore, whoever wishes to be a friend
of the world makes himself an enemy of
God.’
James 4:4
True friendship is countercultural
1. Self-actualization
2. Freedom to choose
3. Openness
4. Regular sexual satisfaction as human
right
5. Rentalism
6. Professionalism
7. Revaluing of divorce
New values against the backdrop of
old values
• Lifelong fidelity and commitment
• Institutions and roles
• Responsibility for others
• loyalty
Signs of pseudo-friendship
• 1) functional relationships
• 2) promiscuous relationships
• 3) contractual relationships
• 4) addictive relationships
Tragically,
• Even in the family of God, there is
profound loneliness.
• People lack soul friends with whom they
can share the pilgrimage of faith
• End result is they are left unsatisfied
How to make and keep friends?
• Being trustworthy and keep secrets (Prov.
11:12)
• Being willing to forgive offenses (Prov.
17:9)
• Renounce conflicts (Prov. 25:8)
• Cultivate openness (Prov. 27:6)
Types and stages of spiritual
friendship
• Functional (based on mutual interests)
• Receptive (a person with strengths with a
person with weaknesses)
• Reciprocal (in which friends are pilgrims
together, progressively taking off layers of
masks)
• Knitting of souls (by act of grace, 2 people
are supernaturally knitted and joined
together)
True Friendship…
• is mutual equality and intimacy reaching
towards God
• It is both a grace and an accomplishment
• is not playing God, not encouraging
codependency, not advice giving, not
controlling, not directing another, not
counseling.
• It is listening to the heart, getting in touch
with the movement of God in another’s life
Friendship….
• is a way of understanding God.
• is a way of describing the Christian life.
• is an important addition to fellowship in the
church.
• is a way of describing spirituality.
“A true friend can never have a hidden
motive for being a friend. He can have no
hidden agenda. A friend is simply a friend,
for the sake of friendship.”

James Houston
Discussions
• 1) How has what was shared changed
your views about friendship?
• 2) How differently will you choose your
friends from now on?
• 3) Do you honestly think you have many
friends as describe from today’s sharing?
• 4) So what can YOU do to make yourself a
better friend?

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