Incest Perpetrators & Nonoffending Spouses

Incest Perpetrators &
Nonoffending Spouses
Incest Offenders
 Entitled
 Availability/ Control
 Revenge Against a Spouse
 Revenge on the Child
 Acting Out Sexually Under Stress

Incest Offenders
%
Unrelated female children 44
Unrelated male children 11
Rape 18
Other paraphilias 21
Onset of deviant arousal in
adolescence 59
(Becker & Coleman, 1988)
“Just” Incest Offenders?
 Abusing outside family
at same time 49%
 Raping adult women 18%
(Abel, et al., 1988)

Nonoffending Spouses
Attitudes Towards Mothers
“Unconscious homosexual strivings in

the mother.”
(Lustig, Dresser, Spellman & Murray,

1966, p 34)
Mothers
“The mother . . . Keeps herself tired and

worn out.”
(Justice & Justice, 1979, p. 98)

Mothers
“collusive, oblivious, helpless, or denying. . .
Have unmet childhood needs, are hostile
and frigid, and are passive and
subservient. . . Playing a martyr role”
(Vander Mey & Neff, 1986, p. 71)
Attitudes of Child Protection
Workers
N = 200
 Fathers also physically abusive 80%
 Mothers gave unconscious consent 87%
 Mothers equally responsible 67%
(Bines and Meyer, 1993)

Non-offending Spouses
Knew Knew Did Not Know Did Not Know
Participated Did Not Stop Sided w/ Perp Sided w/Child

Impact of Maternal Support
 Primary predictor of child’s psychological

functioning
Behavior at Disclosure
Majority of mothers supportive of child
(DeJong, 1988; Pellegrin, 1990; Salt, 1990; Sirles,

1989)
Support for Child
Rates between 56% & 92%
(Plummer & Eastin, 2010)

Belief by Age
 Preschoolers 95%
 Adolescents 56%
(Gomez-Schwartz, 1990)
What Effects Mom’s Behavior at
Disclosure
 Childhood history of abuse?
 Current psychological functioning?
 Both?
What Correlates with Mom’s
Behavior at Disclosure
 Current psychological functioning
(Leifer et al., 1993)

Impact of Maternal History of Child
Sexual Abuse
Believing the Child
No difference in mothers with sexual abuse

history and those without
(Deblinger et al., 1994)
Impact of Maternal History of Child
Sexual Abuse
Maternal distress greater
(Deblinger et al., 1994; Timmons-Mitchell

et al., 1996)
Gender Bias
System Responses to Mothers
Mothers 21 – 55
N = 59
Suspicions confirmed by at least 1 professional:

CPS, physician, police, judge, etc.

Mothers’ Response
Whatever initial reaction: belief, rage, doubt,
defensiveness
All wanted a fair and impartial treatment of

the allegations

Mothers’ Reaction
“Stunned by the attitudes they encountered”
Expected they would be treated with “concern and

sensitivity”
Especially middle class, well educated women
No problems with police in past

Response of 4 Year Old Molested
by Foster Child
Said to mom:
“I didn’t tell them anything – I don’t know them.”
“After D. had his interview at CAC, they called me
into the room and they interviewed me. The
police officer was very upset that Dave knew
what a penis was. . . He would continuously ask
me the same question over and over again. It
was awful. . . .He just really tried to rattle me. I
had the very very strong opinion that he did not
believe what I was telling him. It was sort of
like another traumatic experience on top of
finding out about the abuse. What happened
there was so different from what I expected.”
Felt Judged and Blamed
Working Mom
“CPS said if I’d been home with my child

that this kind of thing wouldn’t happen.”
(Plummer & Eastin, 2007, p. 779)

Response of System to
Disagreement with Mother
If mothers believed & case unfounded
Or
If mother did not believe & case founded
Called names
Hysterical, crazy, a prostitute, nut case
By CPS, police or a judge

Response of One Policeman
“The police arrived (at the hospital) and right

in front of me told the nurse, ‘this is a
psych case.’”

Losing Custody for Mothering
Told not to discuss the abuse even if the child
raised the topic and asked questions
Told not to take the child to doctors

“repeatedly”
Some lost custody for disobeying.

2nd Reports
1st report inconclusive
Made 2nd report
“After that second time, they started treating me

completely differently. They started treating me
like I was some kind of nut case. They were
treating me disrespectfully, very confrontive
towards me.”
2nd Reports
Lost custody
Impact on Mother
 Shock
 Fear
 Confusion
 Anger
 Disappointment/betrayal
Financial Stress
 Often lost breadwinner
 Had to take off work
 Legal bills
Lack of Concrete Response
Mothers told child probably abused but can’t
do anything about it
Child too young, etc.
Forced to send on visitation

“I only had one experience when I initially took
Debbie and they substantiated abuse. She
was really young so the prosecutor said to
bring her back when she was old enough to
formulate her thoughts so he could
prosecute.”
Short period of supervised visits then

unsupervised visits resumed.
Accusations of Coaching False
Allegations
“Routine”
“The child’s father ‘said that I was coaching the
child and so the CPS worker asked Chanika and
she said I told her to tell. I did tell her to tell the
truth, but the CPS worker came to the trial and
said she thought I was coaching the child
because of that incident. Therefore she had
positive findings that I was emotionally abusing
the child.’”
Would They Report Again?
“A lot of things that they (system professionals)
did really changed my way of thinking.
Sometimes I’m afraid that if I were back in the
same situation again, I’d be afraid to pick up the
phone and call anybody. . . . I’ve been told that I
have to face my own responsibility in what
happened. I don’t see where I was responsible
for this. They keep telling me, well, I should
have been able to see it.”
Can’t Win
“If you show anger, you are hysterical. If
you show no emotions, it’s ‘flat affect’ and
you’re blamed for not caring.”

Financial Dependence
“Financially, it has almost destroyed the
family. It completely drained all the bank
accounts.”
(Wright, 1991, p. 137)
Financial Dependence
 “For a while I had a second job . . . I was
working 20 hours a day and it finally took
its toll on me and I got really sick before
Christmas.”
(Wright, 1991, p. 138)
“I’m working a full-time and a part-time job
and trying to keep everything up and it’s
not always real easy. . . I could barely go
to work, on the verge of tears all the time,
just barely holding together. The financial
problems have been devastating.”
(Patton, 1991, p. 138)
 Separation
 Supervised Visitation
 Apology Sessions
 Unsupervised Visitation
 Reunification
Supervised Visitation
 Admits offense
 Takes responsibility
 No PTSD or reduced
 No or minimal affective flashbacks
 Child not afraid of offender
 Child not traumatized by visits
Offender Criteria
Reunification
 Making significant progress in all areas
 Thinking errors reduced or eliminated
 No deviant arousal or reduced
 Not psychopathic/sadistic
 Admits offense
 Willing to act in best interests of child
 Not overly impulsive
Spouse Criteria
Reunification
 No denial
 Good relationship with child
 Demonstrates willingness to protect child
 Aware of thinking errors and intervenes
 Willing to act in best interest of the child
 Not totally dependent on offender
 Able to supervise
 Aware of warning signs of relapse
Child Criteria
Reunification
 No PTSD or improved
 No or reduced affective flashbacks
 Attached to offender
 Wants offender back
 Good relationship with nonoffending parent
 Aware of warning signs
 No self-blame
 Will tell
 Sister disclosed sexual abuse of Kevin, age 14
 Questioned by a professional, “I’ve never seen a kid look

so frightened. He actually wet himself. He became
hysterical and babbled. He was convinced this was his
end and his mother would now torture him to death.”
 Abuse age 3 – 14
(Saradjian, 1996, p. 34)

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Incest Perpetrators &

 Revenge Against a Spouse

 Revenge on the Child

 Acting Out Sexually Under Stress

 Raping adult women 18%

(Abel, et al., 1988)

“Unconscious homosexual strivings in

(Lustig, Dresser, Spellman & Murray,

“The mother . . . Keeps herself tired and

(Justice & Justice, 1979, p. 98)

 Fathers also physically abusive 80%

 Mothers gave unconscious consent 87%

 Mothers equally responsible 67%

(Bines and Meyer, 1993)

Knew Knew Did Not Know Did Not Know

Participated Did Not Stop Sided w/ Perp Sided w/Child

 Primary predictor of child’s psychological

Majority of mothers supportive of child

(DeJong, 1988; Pellegrin, 1990; Salt, 1990; Sirles,

Rates between 56% & 92%

(Plummer & Eastin, 2010)

 Childhood history of abuse?

 Current psychological functioning?

 Current psychological functioning

(Leifer et al., 1993)

No difference in mothers with sexual abuse

Maternal distress greater

(Deblinger et al., 1994; Timmons-Mitchell

Suspicions confirmed by at least 1 professional:

(Plummer & Eastin, 2007)

All wanted a fair and impartial treatment of

(Plummer & Eastin, 2007)

Expected they would be treated with “concern and

Especially middle class, well educated women

No problems with police in past

“CPS said if I’d been home with my child

(Plummer & Eastin, 2007, p. 779)

Hysterical, crazy, a prostitute, nut case

By CPS, police or a judge

“The police arrived (at the hospital) and right

(Plummer & Eastin, 2007, p. 780)

Told not to take the child to doctors

Some lost custody for disobeying.

(Plummer & Eastin, 2007)

1st report inconclusive

Made 2nd report

“After that second time, they started treating me

 Had to take off work

Forced to send on visitation

Short period of supervised visits then

(Plummer & Eastin, 2007)

 Questioned by a professional, “I’ve never seen a kid look

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