Dr. P.V. SESHA SAI Ph.D.

,
SIBM
HYDERABAD
Introduction
Anger is an acid that can do more harm to the
vessel in which it is stored than to anything on
which it is poured. – Mark Twain, American
author
Anger can be incredibly destructive if we don't
know how to control it.
Frequent or misplaced anger can hurt our
reputations, destroy our relationships, limit our
opportunities, and even damage our health.
Understanding Anger
According to psychologist T.W. Smith, anger is "an
unpleasant emotion ranging in intensity from
irritation or annoyance to fury or rage."
Common causes include feelings of:
Frustration.
Hurt.
Harassment.
Injustice, regardless of whether real or perceived
Requests or criticisms that we believe are unfair.
Threats to people, things, or ideas that we hold dear
People experience anger in different ways and for different
reasons.
Something that makes one furious may only mildly irritate
someone else.
This subjectivity can make anger difficult to understand
and manage.
 It also highlights that one’s response to anger is up to
himself/herself.
The Dangers of Anger
An appropriate level of anger energizes one to take proper
actions, solve problems, and handle situations
constructively.
uncontrolled anger leads to many negative consequences,
especially in the workplace.
For instance, it can damage relationships with one’s
bosses and colleagues
It can lead people to lose trust and respect
Anger also clouds one’s ability to make good decisions and
find creative solutions to problems.
This can negatively affect his/her work performance.
Frequent anger poses health risks too.
One study found that people who get angry regularly
are more likely to suffer from coronary heart disease,
eating disorders, and obesity.
 Research has also found a correlation between anger
and premature death.
Further studies have found that there is a link
between anger and conditions such as anxiety and
depression.
Managing Anger
 One can manage anger when he/she learns to defuse it before it
becomes destructive.
1. Acknowledge That you Have a Problem
 One should be honest with himself/herself and acknowledge that
he/she has a problem.
2. Keep a Hostility Log
 It is advisable to keep a record of things or people whom one hates.
 If one knows the reasons or people who irritate him/her, he/she can
avoid things or people.
3. To Use one’s Support Network
 One has to muster support from his close family members or friends
to continue the effort of controlling anger. It is advisable to maintain
good relations with such people and take their help/guidance when
one is tripping to his old behavior.
4. Interrupt the Anger Cycle
When one starts to feel angry, he should try the following
techniques:
Yell "Stop!" loudly in his thoughts. This can interrupt the
anger cycle.
Use physical relaxation techniques like deep breathing 
or centering  .
Count to 20 before he responds.
Manage his negative thoughts with imagery  and positive
thinking.
Close his office door or find a quiet space, and meditate  
for five minutes.
Distract himself from his anger – visit his favorite
website, play a song that he likes, daydream about a
hobby that he enjoys, or he should take a walk.
To use this strategy, one has to look at what he can
observe about the person or situation, not what he is
inferring about someone's motivations or intentions.
When one looks at the facts, he will to likely
determine that it's productive or unproductive to
respond with anger
5. To Use Empathy:
 If another person is the source of the anger, one has to use
empathy   to see the situation from his or her perspective.
 Be objective here. Everyone makes mistakes, and it is through
mistakes that people learn how to improve.
6. See the Humor in the Anger
 One has to learn to laugh at himself and should not take
everything seriously.
 The next time he feels tempted to lash out, he should try to see
the humor in his expressions of anger.
 One way to do this is to "catastrophize" the situation. This is
when one exaggerates a petty situation that he feels angry
about, and then he should laugh at for his self-importance.
For example, imagine that one is angry because a sick
team member missed a day of work. As a result, a report
he was depending on, is now late.
To catastrophize the situation, one thinks, "Wow, she
must have been waiting months for the opportunity to
mess up my schedule like this. She and everyone on the
team probably planned this, and they're probably sending
her updates about how angry I'm getting."
Obviously, this grossly exaggerates the situation. When
one imagines a ridiculous and overblown version of the
story, he will likely find himself smiling by the end of it.
7. Relax
 Angry people let little things bother them.
 If one learns to calm down, he will realize that there is no real
need to get upset, and he will have fewer angry episodes.
 Regular exercise  can help him to relax in tense situations.
 When possible, he should go for a walk, or stretch and breathe
deeply whenever he starts to feel upset.
 one will also feel more relaxed when he gets enough sleep  
and eat a healthy diet.
 Dehydration can often lead to irritability too.
 One should so keep hydrated throughout the day by drinking
plenty of water.
8. Build Trust:
Angry people can be cynical.
They can believe that others do things on purpose to annoy or
frustrate them, even before anything happens.
 However, people often focus less on him than he might think.
 Build trust with friends and colleagues.
That way, one will be less likely to get angry with them when
something goes wrong.
He will also be less likely to attribute the problem to malicious
intent on their part.

To build trust, one should be honest with people.
One has to explain his actions or decisions when he
needs to, and always he should keep his word.
If one does this consistently, people will learn that
they can trust him.
 They'll also follow his lead, and he will learn that
he can trust them in return.
9. Listen Effectively
Miscommunication contributes to frustrating situations.
One has to improve his active listening skills
19. Be Assertive
One should remember, the word is "assertive," not
"aggressive."
When one is aggressive, he will focus on winning.
He cares little for others' feelings, rights, and needs.
When one is assertive, he focuses on balance.
One is honest about what he wants, and he respects the
needs of others.
11. Live Each Day as if it's Your Last
 Life is short. If one spends all of his time getting
angry, he is going to miss the many joys and
surprises that life offers.
 One should think about how many times his anger
destroyed a relationship, or caused him to miss a
happy day with friends and family. He should
remember that's time that he will never get back.
 However, one can prevent this from happening again
– It is his choice.
12. Forgive and Forget
If one wants to make long-term changes, he needs to
forgive people who angered him
It's not easy to forget past resentments, but the only
way to move on is to let go of these feelings.
So, One has to start today. He should make amends
with one person that he has hurt through his anger.
It might be difficult, but he will feel better afterwards.
Also, he will be one step closer to healing the
relationship.
Key Points
Anger is a powerful force that can jeopardize one’s
relationships, his work, and his health, if he doesn't learn to
manage it effectively.
To manage anger, one should acknowledge that he has a
problem, he has to keep a hostility log, and build a support
network based on trust.
Also, he should use techniques to interrupt his anger, listen,
empathize, be assertive with others, and learn to relax, as
well as laugh at himself.
Finally, One should not let anger get in the way of the joys
in life, and learn to forgive people that who make him angry.