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"Nonviolent Communication": by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PH.D

The document provides an overview of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). It discusses key concepts of NVC including observing without evaluating, identifying and expressing feelings, taking responsibility for one's own feelings, and requesting that which would enrich life. NVC focuses on deep listening, respect, empathy and mutual understanding to resolve conflicts without judgment or violence. The document also explains how to express anger, appreciation and deal with self-criticism using the framework of NVC.

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anisur rahmab
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138 views14 pages

"Nonviolent Communication": by Marshall B. Rosenberg, PH.D

The document provides an overview of Nonviolent Communication (NVC). It discusses key concepts of NVC including observing without evaluating, identifying and expressing feelings, taking responsibility for one's own feelings, and requesting that which would enrich life. NVC focuses on deep listening, respect, empathy and mutual understanding to resolve conflicts without judgment or violence. The document also explains how to express anger, appreciation and deal with self-criticism using the framework of NVC.

Uploaded by

anisur rahmab
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
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Download as PPTX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Date: 25 July 2020

“Nonviolent Communication”
by
Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.

Submitted by
Shekh Mohammad Anisur Rahman
Giving From the Heart
NVC helps us connect with each other and ourselves in a way that allows our
natural compassion to flourish. It guides us to reframe the way we express
ourselves and listen to others by focusing our consciousness on four areas: what
we are observing, feeling, and needing and what we are requesting to enrich our
lives. NVC fosters deep listening, respect, and empathy and engenders a mutual
desire to give from the heart. Worldwide, NVC is used to mediate disputes and
conflicts at all levels.
Communication That Blocks Compassion

It is our nature to enjoy giving and receiving compassionately. One form of life-
alienating communication is the use of moralistic judgments that imply wrongness
or badness on the part of those who don’t act in harmony with our values. Another
form of such communication is the use of comparisons, which can block
compassion both for others and ourselves. Life-alienating communication also
obscures our awareness that we are each responsible for our own thoughts,
feelings, and actions. Communicating our desires in the form of demands is yet
another characteristic of language that blocks compassion.

5 tips for a simpler way to work


Observing Without Evaluating

The first component of NVC entails the separation of observation from evaluation.
When we combine observation with evaluation, others are apt to hear criticism
and resist what we are saying. NVC is a process language that e.g. “Hank Smith
has not scored a goal in 20 games” rather than “Hank Smith is a poor soccer
player.”
Identifying and Expressing Feelings

The second component necessary for expressing ourselves is feelings. By


developing a vocabulary of feelings that allows us to clearly and specifically name
or identify our emotions, we can connect more easily with one another. Allowing
ourselves to be vulnerable by expressing our feelings can help resolve conflicts.
 
Taking Responsibility for Our Feelings
What others say and do may be the stimulus, but never the cause, of our feelings. When someone
communicates negatively, we have four options as to how to receive the message: (1) blame ourselves,
(2) blame others, (3) sense our own feelings and needs, (4) sense the feelings and needs hidden in the
other person’s negative message. When others hear criticism, they tend to invest their energy in
selfdefense or counterattack. In the course of developing emotional responsibility, most of us experience
three stages: (1) “emotional slavery”—believing ourselves responsible for the feelings of others, (2) “the
obnoxious stage”—in which we refuse to admit to caring what anyone else feels or needs, and (3)
“emotional liberation”—in which we accept full responsibility for our own feelings but not the feelings of
others, while being aware that we can never meet our own needs at the expense of others.
Requesting That Which Would Enrich Life
The fourth component of NVC addresses the question of what we would like to request of each other
to enrich each of our lives. We try to avoid vague, abstract, or ambiguous phrasing, and remember to
use positive action language by stating what we are requesting rather than what we are not.Especially
when we are expressing ourselves in a group, we need to be clear about the nature of the response
we are wanting back. Otherwise we may be initiating unproductive conversations that waste
considerable group time. The objective of NVC is not to change people and their behavior in order to
get our way; it is to establish relationships based on honesty and empathy that will eventually fulfill
everyone’s needs.
Receiving Empathically
Empathy is a respectful understanding of what others are experiencing. Instead of offering
empathy, we often have a strong urge to give advice or reassurance and to explain our own
position or feeling. Empathy, however, calls upon us to empty our mind and listen to others
with our whole being. In NVC, no matter what words others may use to express themselves,
we simply listen for their observations, feelings, needs, and requests.
The Power of Empathy
Our ability to offer empathy can allow us to stay vulnerable, defuse potential violence, help
us hear the word “no” without taking it as a rejection, revive a lifeless conversation, and
even hear the feelings and needs expressed through silence.
Connecting Compassionately with Ourselves

The most crucial application of NVC may be in the way we treat ourselves. When we make
mistakes, we can use the process of NVC mourning and self-forgiveness to show us where
we can grow instead of getting caught up in moralistic self-judgments.
Expressing Anger Fully

If we wish to fully express anger, the first step is to divorce the other person from any
responsibility for our anger. The four steps to expressing anger are (1) stop and breathe, (2)
identify our judgmental thoughts, (3) connect with our needs, and (4) express our feelings
and unmet needs.
The Protective Use of Force

The intention behind the protective use of force is to prevent injury or injustice, never to
punish or to cause individuals to suffer, repent, or change. The punitive use of force tends
to generate hostility and to reinforce resistance to the very behavior we are seeking.
Punishment damages goodwill and self-esteem, and shifts our attention from the intrinsic
value of an action to external consequences.
Liberating Ourselves & Counseling Others

NVC enhances inner communication by helping us translate negative internal messages into
feelings and needs. Our ability to distinguish our own feelings and needs and to empathize
with them can free us from depression. We can replace “dream-killing language” with NVC
and recognize the existence of choice in all our actions.
Expressing Appreciation in Nonviolent Communication

Conventional compliments often take the form of judgments, however positive, and are
sometimes offered to manipulate the behavior of others. NVC encourages the expression of
appreciation solely for celebration.

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