MIDDLE ERA

MARRIAGE
11-st.Barbara (stem c)
 In the history of Europe the middle ages (Medieval period)
Lasted from the 5th up to the 15th century it began with the fall
of the western roman empire and merged into the renaissance
and the age of discovery. The middle ages is the middle period of
Three traditional divisions of western history: classical antiquity,
the medieval period and the modern period, the medieval period
is itself divided into the early, high and the late middle ages

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 Throughout the Middle Ages, the church essentially presented women with two
options in order to escape the "sin of Eve": to become celibate (the preferred
choice), or to become mothers (Richards, 25-6). Thus most women, if they did
not choose to become nuns, were expected to marry and procreate. According
to Hostensius, once a girl was physically ready to consummate a sexual
relationship, she was ready for marriage, and the same was true for boys.
However, since puberty came earlier for females than males, they could marry at
a younger age (usually, he said, girls were ready at age twelve and boys at age
fourteen) (Brundage, 434). As a result of arranged marriages involving exchange
of property, many couples did not wed for love, or even for sexual attraction.
Marriages were not infrequently loveless, unhappy affairs and this frustration is
reflected in a popular saying of the times: "No man marries without regretting
it" (Richards, 34). Only among the lower classes did people marry consistently
for reasons of love or sexual desire. In general, however, peasant marriages were
not common, as there was little need for a formal exchange of property among
the poor. Besides being a means of property exchange, marriage was also seen -
especially by the church - as a means for regulating sexual activity and
controlling carnal desire. All sex outside of marriage was universally considered
sinful, and for most canonists and theologians, sex within marriage was only
3 acceptable as a means for procreation.
MEDIVEAL
MARRIAGES
 ARRANGED MARRIAGE IN MIDDLE ERA
⬗ In the Medieval times, marriage was quite different than
today. Women didn't have a choice as to who they would
marry and, most of the time, women didn't even know the
man before they wed.
⬗ However, men were sometimes able to choose their bride.
Marriage back then was not based on love; most marriages
were political arrangements. Husbands and wives were
generally strangers until they first met. If love was involved at
all, it came after the couple had been married. Even if love
did not develop through marriage, the couple generally
developed a friendship of some sort.
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 ARRANGED MARRIAGE IN MIDDLE ERA
⬗ The arrangement of marriage was done by the bride and groom's
parents. In the middle ages, girls were typically in their teens when
they married, and boys were in their early twenties. The
arrangement of the marriage was based on monetary worth. The
family of the girl who was to be married would give a dowry, or
donation, to the boy she was to marry. The dowry would be
presented to the groom at the time of the marriage.
⬗ After the marriage was arranged, a wedding notice was posted on
the door of the church. The notice was put up to ensure that there
were no grounds for prohibiting the marriage. The notice stated
who was to be married, and if anyone knew any reasons the two
could not marry they were to come forward with the reason. If the
6 reason was a valid one, the wedding would be prohibited.
 Wedding rituals
Many of the items and rituals that took place during the time of a
wedding have become traditions and are practiced today. The
marriage ceremony, for example, contains much of the same
wording that was used in the middle ages. Today, the man and the
woman stand on the same sides of the altar as they did then. The
wedding ceremony of today also includes a ring exchange, and the
ring is placed on the fourth finger, the same finger it was placed
on during the middle ages. Furthermore, a couple and their
families would have a large feast after the wedding, this is still
carried on in today's society with the wedding reception.
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 EXAMPLES OF

“ WEDDING RITUALS

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Divorce
In the middle ages there were few reasons
the wedding could be dissolved. One reason
was if either the man or woman were not of
legal age, 12 for girls and 14 for boys. If the
husband or wife had previously made a
religious or monastic vow or were not
Christian, the marriage would be dissolved.
 ANCIENT-JEWISH
MARRIAGES
Marriage in ancient times was a negotiated match involving
an agreement on conditions and payment of a bridal price.

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In biblical times, people were
married in early youth, and
marriages were usually contracted
within the narrow circle of the
clan and the family. It was
undesirable to marry a woman
from a foreign clan, lest she
introduce foreign beliefs and
practices.
Negotiating a Match
As a rule, the fathers arranged the match. The girl
was consulted, but the “calling of the damsel
and inquiring at her mouth” after the
conclusion of all negotiations was merely a
formality.
In those days a father was more concerned about
the marriage of his sons than about the marriage
of his daughters. No expense was involved in
marrying off a daughter. The father received a
dowry for his daughter whereas he had to give a
dowry to the prospective father-in-law of his
son when marrying him off.
Negotiating a Match
The price paid by the father of the groom to the
father of the bride was called mohar. (The term
continues to be included in the text of
the traditional ketubah, or Jewish wedding
contract.) In Genesis (Parashat
Vayishlah), Shekhem [Dinah’s suitor] said to
Dinah’s father and her brothers: “Let me find
favor in your eyes, and what ye shall say unto
me I will give. Ask me never so much mohar
and mattan, and I will give according as ye shall
say unto me; but give me the damsel to wife.”
“Mattan” was the Hebrew word for the gifts given
by the groom to the bride in addition to the
Mohar as purchased
and gift
The mohar was originally the purchase price of the bride,
and it is therefore understandable why it was paid by
the father of the groom to the father of the bride. In
ancient days, marriage was not an agreement between
two individuals, but between two families.
The newly married man usually did not found a new
home for himself, but occupied a nook in his father’s
house. The family of the groom gained, and the
family of the bride lost, a valuable member who
helped with all household tasks. It was reasonable,
therefore, that the father of the groom should pay the
father of the bride the equivalent of her value as a
useful member of the family.
Betrothal and the
Wedding
Until late in the Middle Ages, marriage consisted of two
ceremonies that were marked by celebrations at two
separate times, with an interval between. First came
the betrothal [erusin]; and later, the wedding
[nissuin]. At the betrothal the woman was legally
married, although she still remained in her father’s
house. She could not belong to another man unless
she was divorced from her betrothed. The wedding
meant only that the betrothed woman, accompanied
by a colorful procession, was brought from her
father’s house to the house of her groom, and the
legal tie with him was consummated.
Betrothal and the
Wedding
This division of marriage into two separate events
originated in very ancient times when marriage was a
purchase, both in its outward form and in its inner
meaning. Woman was not recognized as a person but
was bought in marriage, like chattel.
Marriage, as with any type of purchase, consisted of two
acts. First the price was paid and an agreement
reached on the conditions of sale. Sometime later the
purchaser took possession of the object. In marriage,
the mohar was paid and a detailed agreement reached
between the families of the bride and groom. This
betrothal was followed by the wedding, when the
bride was brought into the home of the groom, who
took actual possession of her.
A New Attitude
Toward Women
During biblical times, even before the Babylonian exile, Jewish life evolved
and changed in many ways, including the attitude toward women.
Over time, women came to be regarded as endowed with
personalities just as were men.
Even as far back as early biblical times, we find traces of a new moral
attitude towards women. For instance, although a man was legally
allowed to marry more than one wife, barring kings and princes, very
few used this right. As a rule, the ordinary Jew lived in monogamous
marriage. [However, as history progressed, monogamy has been
observed predominantly by Ashkenazic Jews, following the ban on
polygamy in about the 10th century by Rabbenu Gershom, Meor
Ha-Golah (the Light of the Diaspora). In Sephardic communities
polygamy has never been outlawed, and several sources relate that
Christians in Muslim Spain were scandalized by the not infrequent
cases of Jewish polygamy.]
An Ancient Marriage
Record
At the beginning of the 20th century, an actual Jewish marriage record
during the period of the return from the Babylonian exile was
discovered — the oldest marriage contract in Jewish history. The
marriage did not take place in Palestine or among the exiles in
Babylon, but among the Jews of Elephantine and Aswan, at the
southern border of Egypt.
The marriage contract of Mibtachiah [the bride] and As-Hor [the groom]
began with a declaration of marriage by As-Hor to Mibtachiah’s
father. “I came to thy house for thee to give me thy daughter,
Mibtachiah, to wife; she is my wife and I am her husband from this
day and forever.”
The Ketubah, or
Marriage Contract
In many points of content and form, Mibtachiah’s marriage contract
resembles the version of the ketubah (wedding contract) still in vogue
in modern Jewish life.
In references to marriage throughout the Bible, the mohar was paid and
gifts presented, but a written contract was never mentioned.
However, the Book of Deuteronomy specifically states that if a man
dislikes his wife, “he writes her a bill of divorcement and gives it in
her hand” (24: 3). Modern critics of the Bible have agreed that on the
whole, the Deuteronomic law is a product of the century preceding
the Babylonian exile. If a written document was employed at that
period in dissolving a marriage, we have to assume that it was also
employed in contracting a marriage.
 A Divorce Penalty
The mohar institution was entirely transformed during late-biblical and post-biblical times.
From a bridal price it finally became a lien to be paid by the husband in case of divorce, or by his heirs
in case of his death.
The change in the mohar institution was a direct result of changes in the material conditions of life.
In the simple conditions of early biblical days, all sons and daughters married young. No one stayed
single.
The situation changes, however, in conditions reflected in the wisdom book of Ben-Sira, written not
long before the uprising of the Maccabees.
Apparently bachelorship, common among Jews in talmudic times,
had its beginnings in pre-Maccabean days. Economic conditions were such that men hesitated to
shoulder the responsibility of matrimony.
It was not unusual for women to support the men they married.
Under these conditions there was no place for the old mohar institution. Fathers no longer expected
any material gain from their daughters’ marriages.
On the contrary, fathers often gave rich dowries to daughters as an inducement to marriageable
men.
Yet the mohar institution did not pass out of existence.
It was reformed intermittently in the course of this period, adapting itself to new circumstances.
 A Divorce Penalty
The first stage in this process was to make the bride’s father a mere trustee of the mohar.
The money was then inherited ultimately either by the husband or by his children.
This reform availed little, so the husband himself was made the trustee of the money, which was
employed to buy household articles.
The last step in the reform of the mohar institution was made by Simeon ben Shatach, head of the
Pharisees,
who were the ruling party in the state during the reign of the Maccabean queen,
Salome Alexandra (76-67 B.C.E.). He declared that the mohar, which was ordinarily 200 silver dinars
for a girl, and 100 for a widow, should merely be written in the
, the marriage deed, as a lien of the wife on the estate of her husband, to be paid to her only if he
divorced her, or at his death!
This reform served two humane purposes. It made marriage easier, and divorce more difficult. A man
did not need 200 dinars in cash in order to marry
a girl, but he needed this amount if he wanted to divorce her. The ketubah thus protected the
woman from being arbitrarily divorced by her husband.