http://www.safechild.org/strangers.

htm Coalition for Children Safety Around Strangers Teaching parents and children how to deal with strangers is essential for two reasons. First, to give children and parents good skills to prevent abduction. Second, to address the anxiety created for parents and children alike at the thought of stranger abduction. Stranger Danger programs have been taught for decades. Still, all the evidence shows that children go willingly with strangers. Why? Because children don't hear what adults think they are saying. Reducing children's vulnerability requires that parents and children have basic information about stranger offenders and how they behave. It includes understanding what children believe about strangers and how that makes them more vulnerable. This chapter will help parents and children develop specific ground rules to enhance personal safety around strangers. WHO ARE STRANGER OFFENDERS? Stranger offenders (hereafter called offenders) are people who abduct and/or abuse children they don't know. They do not seek a relationship with the child, as do abusers who know the child. Instead, they see children as objects for their use. They view children as weak, helpless, defenseless victims who can easily be manipulated to fulfill the offenders' needs. These offenders range from the passive exhibitionist to the sadistic murderer. Bribery, flattery, treats and requests for help are common tricks they use to engage children. While some strangers will actually snatch a child away, this rarely happens. Most children are lured into a seemingly innocent situation with someone who acts like a "nice" person. Of particular concern are those pedophiles who "hang out" in places where they have access to children, fast food restaurants, arcades, malls, movies, mini-markets, etc. These offenders will engage a child, molest them in the bathroom or other readily available area and then release the child. These perpetrators tend to prefer boys and report molesting hundreds of children in this manner. Because there is no way to anticipate who these offenders are or what they will do, the best defense is to keep unsupervised children away from strangers. This is first and foremost the responsibility of parents and other responsible adults. But children also need to be educated, to learn rules that will reduce their risk when adult efforts to protect them fail. THE CHILD'S POINT OF VIEW Strangers have been the focus of so much of our concern for our children's safety that most children have a pretty distorted sense of who and what strangers are. What we've said about strangers makes sense to us, but doesn't usually make sense to them. Children believe that the world is divided into two types of people: good guys and bad guys. We've traditionally taught them that the ones they need to worry about and watch out for are the bad guys. (Don't take candy from strangers; beware of strangers; stranger danger.) Of course, this is as impossible for children as it is for adults.

Teaching children to be afraid of strangers not only doesn't work very well, it is frightening. When we say things like, "Don't talk to strangers or get in their car because they might take you away and we'd never see you again." we scare children without protecting them. THE SAFE CHILD APPROACH Instead of using fear tactics, the Safe Child approach will teach you how to give your children specific guidelines and information to limit their vulnerability while maintaining their ability to move freely in their everyday lives. Help your children to understand that there is no way to tell by the way someone looks how they are on the inside. Talk about stereotypes. They should know that judging someone by their appearance is a mistake. Children need to learn about strangers: not any one type of stranger in particular, but strangers in general, so that they can apply the safety rules. The rules I teach children regarding strangers build upon two simple ideas. The first is that there is only one person who is with you all the time, who can be responsible for keeping you safe, all the time. That person is you. The second basic idea is that when children are alone, it is their job to take care of themselves. It is not their job to take care of the adults in the world. If an adult needs assistance, they need to get it from another adult, not from a child. One of the primary ways children get hurt with strangers is by being friendly and helpful. If they understand that taking care of themselves is their first priority when they're alone, they have permission to ignore or deny adult requests for assistance. Our goal is to have clear, concrete rules that prevent problem situations, that enable children to function safely and that still allow them to perceive the world as a fundamentally safe and nurturing place. THE STRANGER RULES CHECKLIST

A stranger is anyone you don't know. You can't tell the good guys from the bad guys by how they look. You are responsible for keeping yourself safe when you're by yourself. You are responsible for taking care of yourself, not for grownups. Adults who need help should go to another adult. Instinct is nature's way of talking to you - listen to that inner voice. The 4 stranger rules you should always follow when you're not with an adult who it taking care of you are: 1. Stay an arms reach plus away from strangers. Stand up, back up and run

to someone who can help you if you feel afraid. VIDEO Rule # 1 2. Don't talk to strangers. VIDEO Rule #2 3. Don't take anything from strangers - not even your own things. VIDEO Rule #3 4. Don't go anywhere with someone you don't know. VIDEO Rule #4 You can't do it alone. Protecting children from abuse and abduction by strangers is a partnership between you and your children. If you teach your children about strangers as positively and clearly as you teach them to cross the street, they will not only have a healthier attitude about the world, they will be safer. ___________________________________ http://www.ncpc.org/topics/violent-crime-and-personal-safety/strangers What to Teach Kids About Strangers Information about the differences between strangers kids should look out for and strangers kids can trust Kids see strangers every day in stores, in the park, and in their neighborhoods. Most of these strangers are nice, normal people, but a few may not be. Parents can protect their children from dangerous strangers by teaching them about strangers and suspicious behavior, and by taking a few precautions of their own. Who is a stranger? A stranger is anyone that your family doesnt know well. Its common for children to think that bad strangers look scary, like the villains in cartoons. This is not only not true, but its dangerous for children to think this way. Pretty strangers can be just as dangerous as the not-so-pretty ones. When you talk to your children about strangers, explain that no one can tell if strangers are nice or not nice just by looking at them and that they should be careful around all strangers. But don't make it seem like all strangers are bad. If children need help--whether theyre lost, being threatened by a bully, or being followed by a stranger--the safest thing for them to do in many cases is to ask a stranger for help. You can make this easier for them by showing them which strangers are okay to trust. Who are safe strangers? Safe strangers are people children can ask for help when they need it. Police officers and firefighters are two examples of very recognizable safe strangers. Teachers, principals, and librarians are adults children can trust

too, and they are easy to recognize when theyre at work. But make sure that you emphasize that whenever possible, children should go to a public place to ask for help. You can help your children recognize safe strangers by pointing them out when youre out in your town. Also show your children places they can go if they need help, such as local stores and restaurants and the homes of family friends in your neighborhood. Recognizing and Handling Dangerous Situations Perhaps the most important way parents can protect their children is to teach them to be wary of potentially dangerous situations this will help them when dealing with strangers as well as with known adults who may not have good intentions. Help children recognize the warning signs of suspicious behavior, such as when an adult asks them to disobey their parents or do something without permission, asks them to keep a secret, asks children for help, or makes them feel uncomfortable in any way. Also tell your children that an adult should never ask a child for help, and if one does ask for their help, teach them to find a trusted adult right away to tell what happened. You should also talk to your children about how they should handle dangerous situations. One ways is to teach them No, Go, Yell, Tell. If in a dangerous situations, kids should say no, run away, yell as loud as they can, and tell a trusted adult what happened right away. Make sure that your children know that it is okay to say no to an adult in a dangerous situation and to yell to keep themselves safe, even if they are indoors. Its good to practice this in different situations so that your children will feel confident in knowing know what to do. Here are a few possible scenarios: A nice-looking stranger approaches your child in the park and asks for help finding the stranger's lost dog. A woman who lives in your neighborhood but that the child has never spoken to invites your child into her house for a snack. A stranger asks if your child wants a ride home from school. Your child thinks he or she is being followed. An adult your child knows says or does something that makes him or her feel bad or uncomfortable. While your child is walking home from a friends house, a car pulls over and a stranger asks for directions.

What Else Parents Can Do In addition to teaching children how to recognize and handle dangerous situations and strangers, there are a few more things parents can do to help their children stay safe and avoid dangerous situations. Know where your children are at all times. Make it a rule that your children must ask permission or check in with you before going anywhere. Give your children your work and cell phone numbers so they can reach you at all times. Point out safe places. Show your children safe places to play, safe roads and paths to take, and safe places to go if theres trouble. Teach children to trust their instincts. Explain that if they ever feel scared or uncomfortable, they should get away as fast as they can and tell an adult. Tell them that sometimes adults they know may make them feel uncomfortable, and they should still get away as fast as possible and tell another adult what happened. Reassure children that you will help them when they need it. Teach your children to be assertive. Make sure they know that its okay to say no to an adult and to run away from adults in dangerous situations. Encourage your children to play with others. Theres safety in numbers!

________________________________________ http://www.mcgruff.org/Advice/stranger_danger.php

Strangers and Other Dangers A stranger is a person whom you have never met. You may have seen the person before but don't know anything about him or her. Strangers don't look like monsters, aliens, or the bad guys you see on TV. They look like ordinary people. What's the Big Deal? Most strangers are nice, but some are not. You can't tell if a stranger is nice or not by looking at him or her. But you can tell if a situation is good or bad. What you should do: Be aware of dangerous situations. If a stranger asks you for help or to keep a "special secret," it could be a dangerous situation. Say no and tell a trusted adult. Trust your instincts. If you feel scared or uncomfortable, get away from the situation. Make an excuse or just run away, and go to a safe place. Know what to do. Think No, Go, Yell, Tell. If you're in a dangerous situation, say no, run away, yell as loud as you can, and tell an adult. Ask your parents first. If a stranger invites you to go somewhere, offers you a gift, or just wants to talk, say you need to ask your parents for permission first. Then go do it. Stick with friends. It's always safer to play in a group

____________________ http://www.atozteacherstuff.com/pages/429.shtml Intro: Ask students if their mom or dad have ever talked to them about going anywhere with strangers. Have the students that answer yes tell the rest of the class what their parents or grandparents told them. Ask them why they think this is important for them to remember what to do. Lesson 1: STRANGERS - Buddy system Materials: popsicle sticks scraps of material glue white paper(sturdy).

Discussion:

Talk to students about the importance of always going somewhere together. Every student should pick a person to be their "buddy" for the day. Explain to the kids that it is always important to have someone with you in case something should happen to you. That way the other person can go for help. It is also very important that a grown-up always knows where you are! That way they know you are safe. If you are playing outside it is VERY important that a grown-up or another child is with you so no one tries to take you in their car! Activity: 1. Have each student make two stick puppets out of paper and then use the material to make a dress or short to put on the person they made. Have them make two puppets each to remind them they always need a buddy with them!

Lesson 2: STRANGERS - Adults do not need help from a child! Discussion: Talk to students about how many bad adults that try to steal children by telling them they need help carrying something or getting something out of their car. If someone asks them for help, say "No, but I can get another adult to help you!" NEVER get close to a person's car to look at something or to get something from the person, such as candy or a game. Always walk home with someone after school. I really feel strongly about this subject and I hope other teachers will use this information to help children not get abducted from strangers! Lesson 3: STRANGERS - Have a password Discussion: Talk to your students about the importance of not listening to anyone who says your mom or dad sent them to pick you up. Explain to students that many children have been taken from their schools and playgrounds because they were told their mom or dad sent someone to pick them up! Activity: 1. Have students go home with a letter from the teacher explaining about the weeks theme of STRANGER DANGER. Explain in the letter the importance of having a code word that a person has to know in order for them to pick them up. Make sure that only the child and the mom or dad knows that code word! Also have the mom or dad spend some time talking to the child about what to do in case the child should get lost somewhere such as the mall! Have the students come back to school the next day and talk about the discussion with their mom or dad. Also the teacher could bring in a missing child's poster and talk about how this child was taken and their mom and dad miss them very much!

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Lesson 4: STRANGERS - Know some ways to get away Discussion: Talk to kids about what they could do if someone grabbed them and tried to take them to their car. Activity: 1. 2. Some of the best things to do are: Scream and yell this person is is taking me! Another thing to do if there is not many people around is to bite the person very hard and then run as fast as you can! Have the kids practice yelling and saying, "This person is trying to take me!": Get them used to being assertive! Most children are not used to acting without thinking and the more prepared they are the faster they will be able to react.

Lesson 5: STRANGERS- Know your phone number and address Discussion: Many children who get lost do not know their full name and address. Explain to the children how important it is to talk clearly and slowly so people who can help them can understand what they are saying. Tell children if they are lost it is important to go to a grown-up. If a police officer or someone who works at the place is around that is the first person they should go to. Activity: 1. 2. 3. 4. Have on a file card each child's name and address along with their phone number. Practice with them saying their name and phone number. Make sure they are saying it clearly and slowly so it can be understood. It is also important that the children know their mom's and dad's first names. Have them tell you that also. I would send a home a letter to the parents about what you are working on and have them be practicing this at home also!

___________________ http://www.nchealthyschools.org/docs/lessonplans/k/grade03.03.pdf _______________ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v8o9I3D5ka4&feature=related _______________ http://safety.lovetoknow.com/Activities_for_Stranger_Danger School-Aged Children Involve children in this age group in some role playing games to see how they would react in some situations where stranger danger is involved. This is a great way to make sure that they really understand the lessons you have been trying to teach them about this important topic.

Acting in the role of the stranger, try to take the child by the hand or arm or give them candy. Ask for help to find a lost kitten or puppy. You can also include a scenario where the stranger approaches the child and says that they were sent by the child's parents because of an emergency situation. Monitor the child's reaction carefully to see how well they handle the situation. Keep practicing often until the child feels comfortable in dealing with these kinds of situations. You might also want to have the child practice what to do if someone attempts to abduct them. In that kind of situation, it's perfectly acceptable for the child to kick, punch, and scream in an attempt to get away. Part of talking to children about stranger danger is teaching them about "good touch/bad touch." Explain that some parts of their bodies are private and are not to be touched by other people. Tell them that if they are touched in a way that makes them feel uncomfortable, that they are to tell you about it immediately. You can also add that the person who touched them might ask them to keep it a secret. This is a secret that you need to know about, and the child will not be in trouble for telling you about it. Piaget: Period of Concrete Operations (7-12 years) Characteristic Behavior: Evidence for organized, logical thought. There is the ability to perform multiple classification tasks, order objects in a logical sequence, and comprehend the principle of conservation. thinking becomes less transductive and less egocentric. The child is capable of concrete problem-solving. Some reversibility now possible (quantities moved can be restored such as in arithmetic: 3+4 = 7 and 7-4 = 3, etc.) Class logic-finding bases to sort unlike objects into logical groups where previously it was on superficial perceived attribute such as color. Categorical labels such as "number" or animal" now available. Erikson: 4. Industry Versus Inferiority (Competence) Erikson believes that the fourth psychosocial crisis is handled, for better or worse, during what he calls the "school age," presumably up to and possibly including some of junior high school. Here the child learns to master the more formal skills of life: (1) relating with peers according to rules (2) progressing from free play to play that may be elaborately structured by rules and may demand formal teamwork, such as baseball and (3) mastering social studies, reading, arithmetic. Homework is a necessity, and the need for self-discipline increases yearly. The child who, because of his successive and successful resolutions of earlier psychosocial crisis, is trusting, autonomous, and full of initiative will learn easily enough to be industrious. However, the mistrusting child will doubt the future. The shame - and guilt-filled child will experience defeat and inferiority.