Bazonka

Say Bazonka every day That's what my grandma used to say It keeps at bay the Asian Flu' And both your elbows free from glue. So say Bazonka every day (That's what my grandma used to say) Don't say it if your socks are dry! Or when the sun is in your eye! Never say it in the dark (The word you see emits a spark) Only say it in the day (That's what my grandma used to say) Young Tiny Tim took her advice He said it once, he said it twice he said it till the day he died And even after that he tried To say Bazonka! every day Just like my grandma used to say. Now folks around declare it's true That every night at half past two If you'll stand upon your head And shout Bazonka! from your bed You'll hear the word as clear as day Just like my grandma used to say!

Spike Milligan

JABBERWOCKY
Lewis Carroll
(from Through the Looking-Glass and What Alice Found There, 1872)

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe: All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!" He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought -So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And, as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! And through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!

He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. "And, has thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!' He chortled in his joy.

`Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe.

When awful darkness and silence reign Over the great Gromboolian plain, Through the long, long wintry nights;When the angry breakers roar As they beat on the rocky shore;When Storm-clouds brood on the towering heights Of the hills of the Chankly Bore:Then, through the vast and gloomy dark, There moves what seems a fiery spark, A lonely spark with silvery rays Piercing the coal-black night,Hither and thither the vision strays, A single lurid light. Slowly it wanders, - pauses, - creeps, Anon it sparkles, - flashes and leaps; And ever as onward it gleaming goes A light on the Bong-tree stems it throws. And those who watch at that midnight hour From Hall or Terrace, or lofty Tower, Cry, as the wild light passes along, "The Dong! - the Dong! "The wandering Dong through the forest goes! "The Dong! the Dong! "The Dong with a luminous Nose!" Long years ago The Dong was happy and gay, Till he fell in love with a Jumbly Girl Who came to those shores one day. For the Jumblies came in a Sieve, they did, Landing at Eve near the Zemmery Fidd Where the Oblong Oysters grow, And the rocks are smooth and gray. And all the woods and the valleys rang With the chorus they daily and nightly sang, "Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live; Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, And they went to sea in a sieve." Happily, happily passed those days! While the cheerful Jumblies staid; They danced in circlets all night long, To the plaintive pipe of the lively Dong, In moonlight, shine or shade. For day and night he was always there

By the side of the Jumbly Girl so fair, With her sky-blue hands, and her sea-green hair. Till the morning came of that hateful day When the Jumblies sailed in their sieve away, And the Dong was left on the cruel shore Gazing - gazing for evermore,Ever keeping his weary eyes on That pea-green sail on the far horizon, Singing the Jumbly Chorus still As he sate all day on the grassy hill, "Far and few, far and few, Are the lands where the Jumblies live; Their heads are green, and their hands are blue, And they went to sea in a sieve." But when the sun was low in the West, The Dong arose and said, "What little sense I once possessed Has quite gone out of my head!" And since that day he wanders still By lake and forest, marsh and hill, Singing - "O somewhere, in valley or plain "Might I find my Jumbly Girl again! "For ever I'll seek by lake and shore "Till I find my Jumbly Girl once more!" Playing a pipe with silvery squeaks, Since then his Jumbly Girl he seeks, And because by night he could not see, He gathered the bark of Twangum Tree On the flowery plain that grows. And he wove him a wondrous Nose, A Nose as strange as a Nose could be! Of vast proportions and painted red, And tied with cords to the back of his head. - In a hollow rounded space it ended With a luminous lamp within suspended, All fenced about With a bandage stout To prevent the wind from blowing it out; And with holes all round to send the light, In gleaming rays on the dismal night. And now each night, and all night long, Over those plains still roams the Dong; And above the wail of the Chimp and Snipe You may hear the squeak of his plaintive pipe

While ever he seeks, but seeks in vain To meet with his Jumbly Girl again; Lonely and wild - all night he goes, The Dong with a luminous Nose! And all who watch at the midnight hour, From Hall or Terrace, or lofty Tower, Cry, as they trace the Meteor bright, Moving along through the dreary night, "This is the hour when forth he goes, "The Dong with a luminous Nose! "Yonder - over the plain he goes; "He goes! "He goes; "The Dong with a luminous Nose!"