EFFECTIVE BUSINESS WRITING Questions that govern the process of writing

Why?

Why do I write? gives the reasons why that piece of writing is produced

For whom?

For whom do I write? makes the writer concentrate on the reader's interests and needs

What?

What do I write? the writer focuses on the subject that should meet the reader's needs

How should I write? How? selection and combination of vocabulary and structures; order - to create sentences

- to develop them into paragraphs will enable the reader to interpret the message as intended by the writer

STAGES OF THE WRITING PROCESS

1. Why?

Evaluating the circumstances and the reasons for writing

Assessing the readership / audience 2. - anticipating the reader's interests For whom? level of understanding

3. What?

Deciding on the core information that should be transmitted and its relevant aspects

4.

Working on the message and letting your personality show through adapting your writing style to that particular communication situation

How? From another point of view: planning your writing (why? and for whom?) developing a strategy for writing

FACTORS THAT MAY INFLUENCE THE QUALITY OF WRITING

1. THE WORDS a. Denotation and connotation 2

b. Concrete and abstract words c. The tone of the message d. Short or long words? e. Familiar and unbiased words 1. a. Denotation and connotation

the two co-ordinates of the meaning of every word words have potential meaning context the sender's intention and knowledge the receiver's understanding and attitude

Denotation = the factual definition of an object / situation / quality / idea etc. Connotation = how a person feels about a word A word may have more than one denotative meaning

letter graphic symbol for a sound A, D, M information / message sent to somebody connotations vary significantly [sometimes antagonistic connotations may be given to the same word] ignorant "lack of knowledge" usually: negative connotation in legal disputes: positive connotation My client was totally ignorant of any misuse of funds. 3

When we write: to take into account both the denotations and the connotations of the words to create adequate context to use dictionaries (synonyms, spelling, cross-reference) creativity to increase the reader's interest to create a good impression

Uniqueness of individual writing style starts to develop in childhood through the whole learning process during our whole life

b. it reflects:

our background education life experience career training etc.

c.

necessary: to help the reader interpret the message in the way we want additional knowledge about words 1. b. Concrete and abstract words denotation sends to tangible persons, objects, events, places Examples: ball, house, excavator, smile, town etc. direct 4

Concrete words: They are:

The use of concrete words: Abstract words: -

precise specific in nature avoids misunderstanding (+) cannot express fully what the reader intended ()

Concepts Ideas Feelings Impressions Examples: professionalism, friendship, honesty, quality control, decision-making, debate

Their meaning: Necessary:

more difficult to express to define them to illustrate them to place them in adequate context to use them with caution the reader should know exactly what we mean

Examples: 1. Group a group of close friends your office colleagues specialists in the same field mathematical concept 2. majority, most, few, several interpretation left to the reader Business writing clarity = a main objective Abstract words Concrete words 1. The amount the client has to pay is large.

The client has to pay $ 20,000 2. The draft will be due in several months. The draft will be due in three months. 3. We are ready to cover part of these expenses.

We are ready to cover 40 % of these expenses.

1. c. The tone of the message Combination of words range of impressions tone of the message positive neutral negative Difficult task: it involves: Generally thought: negative words negative communication Examples: no, disappoint, unable, cannot, delay, defect However: Examples: "On inspecting the shipment, we were unable to find any flaw". finding the most appropriate words careful selection creating adequate context dealing with positive and negative words

negative words positive meaning importance of context

to convey bad news to say no with a negative word depends on the relationship with the reader/partner two possibilities

Examples: a. No complaint will be taken into account after 45 days. b. Complaints will be taken into account if made within 45 days.

1. d. Short or long words Requirement: writing in business is short and simple Yet the use of short, simple words does not always guarantee clearness Necessary: - to consider the reader first - to decide on the level of writing Sometimes: short/simple words Necessary: - to use vivid/lively words - impact on the reader Examples: Overused 1. Pursuant to your request, we are enclosing herewith a copy of our financial report. improved version 2. Here is the financial report you requested. overused + lose their power

1. e. Familiar and unbiased words Recommendation:

to avoid - jargon - slang expression - words showing gender, age, race discrimination

to be more sensitive to people's feelings to select words that express sensitivity. 8

Business letters General aspects Communication between companies various means telephones (mobile phones) fax machines the Internet

a certain degree of informality that may not illustrate the real nature of the relationship Consequently any important element in business, discussed or agreed upon the phone, should be confirmed by an official, formal letter For this reason (and for many others) writing ability appears in the top three activities of a business person Businesses value effective communicators: being an effective writer can enhance your professional career the letters you write become your ambassadors people in other departments of the company get to know you through your writing your letters may get your superiors attention showing how effective or ineffective you are as a business communicator. The layout of a business letter The layout of a business letter some specific elements Information about: the two companies that communicate by letters

the people authorized to communicate on behalf of each company

or may refer to the filing system that enables tracing a letter (or a number of letters in the correspondence file)

Letterhead Date Reference line

Inside address

Salutation Subject line

Main body of the letter

Complimentary line Authors signature Typed name Position

Enclosures

Fig. 1. Main parts of a business letter

10 Figure 5. Main parts of a business letter.

The letterhead Information about the sender: the logo the companys name and status its address telephone/fax number/ e-mail address The date There are various ways to express date:

2.11. 2011 2/11/2011 The 1st of November 2011

November 1st, 2011

In business correspondence pattern recommended:

2 November 2011
The reference line Your ref. (your reference) Our ref. (our reference)

helps tracing a letter in the file

the name of the person who signed the letter the name of the typist the filing code Example: Your ref.: FW/ms/P25
-

the letter was written/signed by Frank Warrington it was typed by Mary Storm is located in the file P (petrol) 25

"Our ref." gives similar information about the sender

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The inside address indicates the following: name and address of the addressee position in the company (e.g. The Supply Manager, The Chief Accountant etc.) department mail address written exactly as given by your partner The salutation Forms of address used to open business letters depend on: the addressees status the social distance between the partners Dear Sir when the addressee is a gentleman whose name we do not know; Dear Sirs used to address a company; Dear Madam the addressee is a lady whose name we do not know; Dear Mr Robertson/ Dear Ms Watson to address a person whose name is known to the writer; Dear Bill - used to address a person with whom the writer is on friendly terms High officials or personalities: (the addressees name is associated with)
-

courtesy titles titles deriving from appointment or honours rewards

Useful information:
-

no special form of address for the Prime Minister and members of the Ministry ambassadors are addressed as: Your Excellency (formal) Dear Mr Rodson or Dear Lord Bart

The subject line below the salutation and underlined tells what the letter is about helps the reader direct the letter to the right person 12

facilitates fast processing of correspondence Dear Mr Winter Tax collection

The body of the letter the main text of the letter (the message of the rule of the four Cs clear, concise, correct, courteous divided into paragraphs

the letter)

information distributed according to the role of each

paragraph The opening paragraph

makes connection between the subject line and the rest of the text (" above" or
"above-mentioned") refers to the source of information, which is used as a basis for the letter you are writing The following two or three paragraphs

the proper message of the letter

describe facts/give arguments/ make complaints/ make suggestions etc (according to the purpose of the letter) The closing paragraph emphasises the main idea of the letter restate the writers point of view conclusion of the letter

The last sentence of this paragraph often contains the formula: We look/are looking forward to hearing/ receiving news from you We look/are looking forward to your answer/reply/letter

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The complimentary line depends on the level of formality

MEDEQUIP Ltd. the relationship between the writer and the addressee
directly related to the salutation

78 Bell Street Washington DC, WA 53124

Differences between British and American English: 27 January 2002

Our ref. CG/mn/ T 99 Mr Paul Levin Salutation DearWashington Marketing Society Madam / Sir(s) 667 Seventeenth Street DearWashington DC Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss Waters/ Dear colleague/friend/customer WA 64702
Dear Mary British English Complimentary line Yours faithfully Yours sincerely Yours/ Best regards/ wishes/ Kind regards American English

Salutation Complimentary line Gentlemen:/ Dear Madam / Sir(s) Truly yours We are writing to you in connection with the above-metioned Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss Hudson Sincerely yours Dearsubject, following your article on new trends in marketing Nicholas Best regards/ Cordially

Dear Mr Levin Training course

published in the December issue of the Marketing Review.

The signature given together with

Since your ideas seem very interesting to us, we would like to the to deliver name invite youwriter's typed some lectures to our sales people within a two-weekwriters position in the company the training course at the beginning of April. We are sure that the new strategy you propose for selling medical If the writer is not the person authorised to sign the letter: equipment will be of great interest to our people.
the printed name is preceded by:

Could youp.p. (per procurationem) or15 February 2004, if you would please confirm, by accept our for: invitation? All the other details will be discussed as soon as Maryreceive your confirmation. we Smith We look forward to your answer.
Supply Manager p.p. Tom Richard

Yours sincerely, last point of a business letter Enclosure line the Marion Evans gives the list of additional documents sent with the letter: Human Resources Manager
Encl.: 2 copies of the Monthly Statement abbreviated to Enc./encl.

Fig.2 Business letter (sample).

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Types of business letter layout Layout patterns/ styles: letterhead inside address complimentary close signature block each line be indented as compared to the line above closed punctuation (full stops, commas, etc) is used after each element and line of these layout items letter body the first line of each paragraph is indented reference line date line complimentary line are placed on the right-hand side The block style all layout items are placed on the left-hand side punctuation is omitted from all the items except for the main letter body each line of the paragraphs starts in the left-hand margin paragraphs are separated by double space The two patterns differ from many points of view However, the use of punctuation in the main body of the letter is compulsory in both cases. Combinations of the two patterns: semi-block style - (when some elements are placed in the centre of the paper or on the righthand side) semi-indented style indented style block style semi-indented style

The indented style requires:

indentation of the first line of each paragraph

full punctuation (inside address, salutation, complimentary line, signature block and enclosure line)

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(letter head)______________ ___________ _________ (date)______________ (ref. Line) ________ (inside address) _________________ _______________ _____________ ___________ (salutation) ____________________ __(subject line) _______________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ _______________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________ ____________________________________________________________

(complimentary line)______________ (signature) (typed name)___________________ (position)_________________ (Encl.)______________

Figure 7. Indented style layout (sample).

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(letter head)__________ ____________________ ____________________ (date)________ (ref.line)________ (inside address)_________ ______________________ ______________________ ______________________ (salutation)__________ (subject line)_____________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________ (complimentary line)____________________ (signature) (typed name)__________ (position)_____________ (Encl)_______________ Figure 8. Block style (sample).

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MAKING AN ENQUIRY Complete the following letter and then answer the questions: SUNSHINE Hotels 10 Lion Street 7 AHD Amsterdam The Netherlands
15 December 2003

Your ref: Our ref: AC/gc/ Amst 03 The ROMFAST Bank 12 Queen Mary Street District 3 Bucharest Romania Dear Sirs Re: Banking services We 1 your 2 from Mr Toma Dnescu, General Manager of "RomTour"- Bucharest, who has 3 you as one of the most reliable banks in Romania. We are 4 the hotel5 and our 6 of hotels is well-known 7 Europe. We have recently 8 the Romanian market, with two 9 in Bucharest and we would 10 to 11 your bank for paying 12our staff 12our suppliers. We would 14 if you 14 send us 15 about the card system and credit lines you can 16 us. We look 18 to 19 from you soon. Yours 20 SCarlsson Steven Carlsson Head of Finance Department

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1. Who writes on behalf of SUNSHINE Hotels? 2. Who is the addressee? 3. What information is given in the first paragraph?
4. What does Mr Carlson say in the second paragraph of his letter? 5. Which of the phrases below would you use to refer to Mr. Carlsons action?

He is arranging a meeting making payment sorting out letters giving a presentation making an enquiry making a proposal Letters of enquiry asking for information You make an enquiry in order to find out: where you can find the product how much you have to pay for it if you can get a discount what quantities of that product are available how soon the supplier may honour your order what similar products are available on the market The paragraphs of an enquiry letter have clear functions:
Paragraph

Function introduction (how you found information about the addressee: name, address, type of business etc.)

Examples "We have found the September issue of your magazine in the library of "RomTour"-Bucharest." "Mr. Steven Robson, Managing Director of FINDAS Corporation, one of our partners, has recommended your company to us and "
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1st

 "We have heard of your firm at the 3rd

Fair of Consumer Goods in Tokyo last year." 2nd ; 3rd giving additional information about the situation; giving brief information about your company; offering to give further information; launching the request.

- "We are in the hotel industry and

our chain of hotels is well-known throughout Europe" - "Our company is involved in road building." - "We will be happy to offer you further details." - "We would like your comments on the possibility of organising a joint conference." - "We would appreciate if you would consider our proposal for a partnership." "Could you please send us your catalogue and price list?"

last paragraph

ending the letter (a formal sentence to close politely)

"We look forward to hearing from you."

The general structure of an enquiry letter: may begin directly with the request information about the sender + his interest in the request made has to indicate the source of information, which has facilitated the enquiry A letters enquiring about people more specific it shows clearly who you are enquiring about describes the situation that has led to the enquiry (promotion to a top position, new employment, a prospective merger/partnership etc.) Recommendations: include a set of clear questions that will help the respondent to structure the answer accordingly
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 these letters should be very objective should rely on facts the information supplied should be used for business purposes only

getting or giving information about someone with the permission from the person concerned

such information must be treated confidentially

REPLIES TO ENQUIRIES A serious businessperson will always answer an enquiry. Answers:

positive an order or a contract will follow negative (refusal)

Interested in the proposal answer it promptly! Experienced business people move fast: confirm the letter: orally, over the phone, by e-mail a formal letter will be sent later

Read the enquiry reply letter below and then find in its text the parts that comply with the functions given in the list below:
a. confirming receipt of enquiry and thanking for the letter b. expressing satisfaction for being contacted c. giving specific information in answer to the questions in the enquiry d. taking action e. closing optimistically, expressing hope for future co-operation

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ROMFAST BANK 23 King Ferdinand Bulevard District 1, Bucharest Romania 20 December 2003 Your ref: SC/gc/Rom.03 Our ref: OD/ms/ Amst 03 The SUNSHINE Hotels 10 Lion Street 7 AHD Amsterdam The Netherlands Dear Mr Carlsson, Re: Your letter of 15 December 2003 Thank you for your above-mentioned letter enquiring about our banking services. As you have found out from some of our clients, our standards are high and our services prompt and efficient. We have recently developed our range of products, including some new credit lines, which are successfully used by many large Romanian firms and foreign companies working in Romania. We are sending you enclosed a detailed description of our products and hope that you will find them suitable for you. Please contact us by phone or e-mail if you have additional questions. Our staff will be glad to help you make the best choice. We look forward to hearing from you soon. Yours sincerely ODumitrescu Oana Dumitrescu Head of Marketing Department

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2. Giving negative replies to enquiries

2.a Complete the following sentences that are often used in letters expressing refusal: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. stock. 6. 7. We _________to inform you that the opening you are interested in was filled two ____________, you have failed to supply the goods as per the contract. weeks ago. We are __________ that we ___________ send the goods so soon. We ________sorry ______ we ________ unable to help you ______ developing We are sorry to _________you that we __________invest in hotel industry. We _________ that we are __________to grant you such a big loan without thirdWe ____________ inform you _______ the C12 video projectors are _____ of

the project.

_______ guarantee.

2.b Now fill in the paragraphs below taken from two letters of refusal: "We 1 to inform you that we no 2 manufacture the projector type you are 3 in. Instead, we could 4 you a similar product at an affordable 5 and significantly 6 characteristics." " Thank you for 1 letter 220 June 2004 3 about a bank 4. After careful 5 of your documents, we 6 to 7 you that we are 8 to help you. 9, you do not 10 sufficient collateral, as it results 11your documents." A letter of refusal carefully worded the general tone of the letter respect and understanding to create a favourable atmosphere for a possible relationship in the future Stages: confirm receipt of the enquiry letter express regret (for not being able to help) give reasons for your negative answer offer an alternative (if possible) 23

end on a friendly, encouraging tone

STAR Bank 5 Long Street Edinburgh 3E 56 EG Great Britain Grungwald and Son 24 Forest Street Amsterdam The Netherlands Dear Mr Grundwald Reply to enquiry Thank you for your letter 118 May 2002. 2 your proposal is very attractive, we 3 that we are 4 to invest in your project for the moment. 5 some management changes, we 6 restricted our 7 funds for a certain 8of time. We 9 move back to our 10 investment 11 as 12 as some old 13 will 14been 15. We estimate that this will not 16more 17six months. 18 your proposal is really interesting; we can take your project as a priority at that time. Thank you again for your19. 20 our proposal does 21fit you, we would like to 22you every success in the future. Yours 23 MBray Mary Bray Head of Investments Department

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LETTERS OF COMPLAINT Possible reasons/situations of complaint related 1. delayed delivery 2. undershipment 3. slow operations 4. inadequate invoices 5. incomplete information 6. overshipment 7. bad behaviour 8. breakdown of the IT system 9. delays in money transfer 10. non-payment 11. inadequate advice 12. slow recording of documents 13. inefficiency in manipulating documents 14. overcharging 15. delivery of the wrong goods Conflicts are very frequent in business. Partners interested in achieving and defending their interests and goals When conflicts occur try to solve them amiably without affecting the basic relationship without damaging the professional image or position held in the business environment keep the costs of the conflict to the minimum An effective way: let our partner know that something wrong happened try to find out about the causes of the mistake that have generated our discontent speak or write about them

Making complaints
3.a What functions do the following phrases (a -f) express? a. "We are ready to do that if you can offer us a 2% discount for the remaining shipments." 25

b. " We are writing with reference to the above-mentioned contract for repair works." c. " We can presume that the contents of the second van were intended for another customer." d. " However, we regret to inform you that " e. " We are sorry to remind you that, if you do not replace the wrong goods within 10 days as from the receipt of this letter, we will be obliged to refer to the Penalty Clause stipulated in our contract." f. " According to a previous agreement with you, we have placed the merchandise in our warehouse and we will keep it there until you can collect it." 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. stating the subject; reference to documents (connection with the stating the reason of complaint; suggesting possible causes of the problem; stating the action you request your partner to take; mentioning the action taken by you (if any) making suggestions to solve the problem (special requests to

"subject line", if expressed)

compensate you for the losses suffered; mentioning penalties if the partners may fail to repair the situation).

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HITECH LTD. Romanian Division The Continental Hotel Str. Azurului 15, Sector 2 63451 Bucureti, Romnia 30 September 2004

Mr Doru Dinescu Director ROMFAST Bank 12 Queen Mary Street District 3, Bucuresti, Romania Dear Mr. Dinescu Contract 215 of 27 March 2004 We are 1in connection with our 2 contract for staff payment through card systems 3between your bank and our4. As 5 in the contract, your bank 6 transfer the corresponding 7 to our staff individual 8 before the 9th day of each month. Everything went quite well until June 2004 when our employees 9 about their accounts 10 credited one week after the 11 date. Since this 12 again in July and September, we wonder what has 13with the relevant department of your bank. 14, we have 15 all the records and documents delivery dates for 16our 17 staff are responsible, but everything has been 18 without 19 delay or mistake. Since 20 in 21payment is a very serious matter, we 22 inform you that, if you do not take 23 so as such things be completely24, we will be 25 to 26to the 27Clause in our contract and even to 28the contract altogether. In the hope that the situation will be 29as soon as possible, we look forward to hearing from you. Yours 30 Tom Bell Financial Manager

3.b Explaining the problem 27

Writing letters of complaint a difficult task

explaining the problem a key function in this situation

make the reader understand his full responsibility for the negative consequences deriving from the mistake the letter should convey the necessary encouragement for immediate action try to maintain the previous friendly relationship Striking balance between irritation and politeness the writer's ability to select adequate language Polite negative messages: "we are sorry but we have to remind you that" "Unfortunately," "we regretfully inform you that" "we regret but we have to draw your attention to " "we are sorry to inform you that" "we were surprised to find out that" ADJUSTMENT LETTERS 1. Match the following meanings of the verbs in italics with the sentences below:
a. b. c. d. e.

regulate put in order settling claims in harmonious relations with other persons change one's way of living, thinking, etc.

1. 2. 3. 4.

You have to be grateful to her for helping you to become a well-adjusted young man. Please do not adjust your sets! (warning on TV screen) Managers have to adjust themselves to new cultural contexts. I've checked it myself. Our partner is right. We've delivered less than agreed. We have to send them an adjustment letter. 5. The device adjusts itself to changes in humidity. An adjustment letter is an attempt to restore the relationship and maintain the company's good reputation. As a result, its tone should be polite and reconciliatory and should help to achieve the following functions: confirm receipt of the complaint letter; explain the cause(s) of the problem; mention action taken so as the problem may not happen again; reassure the customer; state the steps taken in order to solve the problem; if a solution was suggested, give your opinion by accepting it or coming up with a

counterproposal; 28

apologise for the trouble caused and end optimistically.

ROMFAST BANK 12 Queen Mary Street District 3 Bucharest 4 Oct.2004 Your ref: TB/tg/ Rm 04 Our ref: DD/md/ BCC HIGHTECH Ltd. Romanian Division Str. Amurgului 28 Sector 4 Bucuresti

Dear Mr Bell Complaint - Contract 215 of 27 March 2004 We 1 receipt of your letter 2 30 September 2004, 3 the delay in 4 for your staff as per the 5 contract. We have looked 6 the matter and found 7 that your 8is9. Due to an 10breakdown of the IT11, the last step of the money 12procedure 13not be 14at the 15 time. Besides, in July, we 16two persons for money tranfer 17and it 18some time until they got 19with the whole system. We are 20very 21for the 22created and we 23you that no 24will occur from now 25. We have taken measures that the 26-hired persons 27helped by an 28 officer for a period of six months. The 29of department will increase 30on this area of activity. Also, in 31 for the situation you have 32 through, we 33 to carry out bank operations for your staff, free of34, for a period of three months. 35again for the trouble 36to you, we do hope that this regrettable 37 will not 38 our future39. Yours40 DDinescu Doru Dinescu Director

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Clients usually request compensation for the loss incurred: a discount an additional quantity an extension of time for completion etc.

Unjustified complaints
There are situations when their claims should be rejected 1. In such a case, the letter should include a paragraph stating clearly that you cannot accept responsibility for the mistake and, consequently, no compensation will be given. 2. Rejection of complaints should be done in a polite way, no matter how firm the writer's attitude may be. 4. Choose a suitable paragraph from column B in order to reject complaints in column A: A 1. the quality of the flour is not the same as that agreed on; the client asks for a 3% reduction in price for the whole quantity B a. We are sorry but we cannot accept your complaint. Our experts have established that you did not observe the maintenance instructions. Therefore, we cannot assume any responsibility. b. Our people have checked the whole lot carefully and found out that the fabric has been damaged during transportation. Consequently, we cannot be kept responsible as the damage occurred in transit. c. We have investigated your complaint carefully. Samples of the material have been taken and tested again. They comply fully with the standard agreed on. We regret we cannot accept your complaint and, consequently, no reduction in payment will be made. d. Our experts have looked into the matter and say that the printers have not been installed according to our instructions. Therefore, we can offer you technical assistance to correct the installing defects but we do not accept to replace them.

2. the printers have been installed soon after unpacking but they do not work; the client wants the printers to be replaced

3. the whole lot of fabric must be replaced as it is stained and torn

4. after three month operation, five of the washing machines bought for the hotel laundry seem to have serious defects; the client claims that the machines be replaced

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