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Android Programming In Kotlin:
Starting with an App
First Edition
Mike James
I/O Press
I Programmer Library
Copyright © 2017 IO Press
All rights reserved. This book or any portion thereof may not be reproduced
or used in any manner whatsoever without the express written permission of
the publisher except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
The publisher recognizes and respects all marks used by companies and
manufacturers as a means to distinguish their products. All brand names and
product names mentioned in this book are trade marks or service marks of
their respective companies and our omission of trade marks is not an attempt
to infringe on the property of others.
In particular we acknowledge that Android is a trademark of Google.
2
Preface
Android programming is an attractive proposition. There are more Android
users than any other smartphone or tablet and this makes it a potentially huge
market. Android devices are relatively cheap and this makes it suitable for
implementing smaller scale projects. Finally the tools that you need are free
to download and use and you don’t need anyone's permission to get started.
The only difficulty is that the Android is a tough system to master. It is easy
enough to get started as Android Studio will build you a Hello World app in a
few minutes, but what you do next is more difficult. The good news is that
Kotlin is a language that makes working with Java and Android much easier.
You cannot get away from Java in Android as it is the language used for the
libraries that your apps are built on, but Kotlin makes writing code so much
easier and it works with Java code perfectly. As a programmer who has
worked in both Java and Kotlin, I can vouch for the fact that Kotlin is a
pleasure to work with and an excellent choice.
You can get a surprisingly long way in Android programming by simply
copying and pasting code from other programs that roughly do what you
want, but the results are usually unreliable and disappointing. To create a
good app there is no substitute for understanding how the system works and
appreciating its strong points and its limitations.
This book aims not only to show you how common tasks are done in
Android, but to make sure that you understand the reasons they are done in a
particular way. This means covering not just the what but also the why. The
good news is that this isn’t as difficult as you might expect because Android
does have repeating patterns and ways of doing things and once you have
seen something in action you find it generalizes to components you haven’t
encountered.
This isn’t a book full of complete examples and case studies. In fact the
examples are stripped down to their bare minimum to avoid having to present
lines of irrelevant and repetitious code and to let you see what is essential. It
also isn’t a complete treatment of everything Android. A single book that
covered every aspect of the Android system would be too large to pick up and
carry. Instead it focuses on the things you need to know to write a simple app.
It focuses on creating the user interface (UI) because this is what you spend
most of your time working on even if the app in question is sophisticated. At
least 90% of the effort in creating any app goes into building and perfecting
the UI and this makes it the key place to start. In this book you will find out
how to build an app with a single Activity and a UI. If you master this level of
the art then you will find it much easier to push on into unknown territory.
3
It is assumed that you can program, but not necessarily in Kotlin or Java – any
general object-oriented language will do as a starting point. As long as you are
happy with the idea of a loop, conditional, function and what objects are,
then you should have no problem working with Kotlin and Android.
Finally the development tool used is the latest version of Android Studio
because it doesn’t make sense not to use it or to use anything else.
This is the place to start.
Mike James
December 2017
There are additional articles on I Programmer that form the basis of the more
advanced books that are still in preparation. After updating and revision,
Android Adventures – Mastering Fragments will be published in print as
Android Programming: Mastering Fragments & Dialogs. The first draft of
Android Programming: Structuring a Complex App, which goes further into
threading, concurrency, life cycle and other topics crucial to a real world app,
is currently work in progress on the website.
4
Table of Contents
Chapter 1
Getting Started With Android Studio 11
The Language Choice........................................................................12
What You Need to Know..................................................................13
Making a Start...................................................................................13
Your First Program............................................................................15
First Look...........................................................................................18
The IDE..............................................................................................19
Basic Project Structure......................................................................19
Anatomy of an Activity.....................................................................20
Hello Layout Editor...........................................................................21
Inspecting the XML...........................................................................26
The Kotlin..........................................................................................27
Getting Started with the Emulator ...................................................28
Summary...........................................................................................32
Chapter 2
Activity and User Interface 33
The MainActivity..............................................................................34
Inside the Activity.............................................................................35
View and ViewGroup........................................................................36
Creating Our First UI.........................................................................38
Properties & Attributes......................................................................42
Events................................................................................................43
Connecting the Activity to the UI.....................................................44
Finding View Objects........................................................................48
Summary...........................................................................................51
Chapter 3
Building a Simple UI 53
What's in the Palette..........................................................................54
The Button an Example....................................................................56
Positioning – the ConstraintLayout..................................................56
Sizing.................................................................................................64
The Component Tree........................................................................65
A Simple Button Example – Baseline Alignment............................66
Orientation and Resolution..............................................................67
A First App – Simple Calculator.......................................................73
Summary...........................................................................................81
5
Chapter 4
Android Events 83
How Java Passes Functions...............................................................83
Android Events..................................................................................84
The Kotlin Object..............................................................................85
Passing Functions In Kotlin..............................................................87
Function References..........................................................................87
Anonymous Functions......................................................................89
The Lambda.......................................................................................89
Events Using Lambdas......................................................................90
Closure...............................................................................................91
Using Breakpoints.............................................................................93
Modern Java Event Handling............................................................94
Summary...........................................................................................96
Chapter 5
Basic Controls 99
Basic Input Controls..........................................................................99
Button Styles and Properties............................................................99
All Attributes...................................................................................104
Text Fields.......................................................................................105
The onEditorAction Event..............................................................108
CheckBoxes.....................................................................................109
Switches and Toggle buttons..........................................................110
Radio Buttons .................................................................................111
Summary.........................................................................................113
Chapter 6
Working With Layouts 115
Understanding Layouts...................................................................115
Layout Properties............................................................................116
Width and Height............................................................................118
Units................................................................................................118
A Control is Just a Box....................................................................120
Gravity.............................................................................................121
The FrameLayout............................................................................122
LinearLayout....................................................................................124
RelativeLayout.................................................................................128
Summary.........................................................................................133
6
Chapter 7
The ConstraintLayout 135
Automatic Constraints....................................................................136
Manual Constraints.........................................................................141
Bias Constraints...............................................................................143
Chains..............................................................................................144
A Chained Keypad..........................................................................147
Guidelines........................................................................................151
Groups.............................................................................................152
Sizing...............................................................................................153
Barriers............................................................................................158
Troubleshooting..............................................................................161
Summary.........................................................................................163
Chapter 8
Programming The UI 165
A UI Library.....................................................................................165
The View.........................................................................................165
Using setContentView.....................................................................166
The ViewGroup...............................................................................168
Programming Layout Properties.....................................................169
The View Hierarchy........................................................................171
XML Layout.....................................................................................171
Inflation Theory..............................................................................172
Finding View objects.......................................................................173
How to Build a UI?..........................................................................174
Summary.........................................................................................176
Chapter 9
Menus – Toolbar 177
Creating a Menu Resource..............................................................177
The Menu Tree................................................................................178
Displaying a Menu..........................................................................180
Using the Toolbar............................................................................181
Creating the App Bar ......................................................................185
Where's My Toolbar?.......................................................................186
Responding to Menu Events...........................................................186
Changing Menus in Code................................................................189
Controlling the Toolbar...................................................................192
Summary.........................................................................................193
7
Chapter 10
Menus – Context & Popup 195
The Context Menu..........................................................................195
Contextual Action Bar.....................................................................199
The Popup Menu.............................................................................202
Summary.........................................................................................204
Chapter 11
Resources 205
Why Use Resources?.......................................................................205
What are Resources?.......................................................................207
Drawables........................................................................................209
Values..............................................................................................211
IDs....................................................................................................212
Accessing Resources in Code – The R Object................................213
Conditional Resources....................................................................214
A Simple Localization.....................................................................218
Android Studio Translation Tools.................................................219
Summary.........................................................................................221
Chapter 12
Bitmap Graphics 223
Android Graphics............................................................................223
The Bitmap......................................................................................223
The ImageView Control..................................................................224
Canvas..............................................................................................225
A First Graphic................................................................................227
Transformations..............................................................................229
A Logical Approach to Transforms................................................232
Setting Your Own Coordinates.......................................................233
Simple Animation...........................................................................234
Timer and Threads..........................................................................236
Listing..............................................................................................239
Summary.........................................................................................242
8
Chapter 13
Life Cycle Of An Activity 243
Lifetime and State...........................................................................243
The Life Cycle of an App................................................................244
The Simple Approach.....................................................................245
Lifecycle Explorer...........................................................................246
Trying It Out....................................................................................247
Retaining State – the Bundle..........................................................248
Saving Additional UI Data..............................................................250
Complex UI Elements.....................................................................251
Advanced State Management.........................................................252
Summary.........................................................................................253
Chapter 14
Spinners 255
The Spinner and the Layout Editor................................................255
Introducing the ArrayAdapter........................................................257
Handling the Selection...................................................................259
Creating an ArrayAdapter from a Resource...................................262
Changing The List...........................................................................262
Summary.........................................................................................264
Chapter 15
Pickers 265
Working with Pickers......................................................................265
TimePicker.......................................................................................266
TimePicker in Code.........................................................................267
Updating the Time..........................................................................268
DatePicker........................................................................................269
Number Picker.................................................................................272
Multi-Digit Input.............................................................................276
Summary.........................................................................................279
Chapter 16
ListView 281
Understanding the Adapter............................................................281
Extending the ListAdapter Class....................................................282
Using the ArrayAdapter..................................................................283
Working with the Data....................................................................285
A Custom Layout.............................................................................288
A Custom ArrayAdapter.................................................................291
Reuse, Caching and General Layouts.............................................295
Custom Adapter..............................................................................298
Summary.........................................................................................299
9
Chapter 17
Android The Kotlin Way 301
What You No Longer Have To Type...............................................301
var & val...........................................................................................302
No More get & set............................................................................302
View Objects As Properties.............................................................304
Event Handlers................................................................................304
Data..................................................................................................306
Null Safety.......................................................................................307
Java Types and Null........................................................................308
Kotlin Aims to Help........................................................................310
Summary.........................................................................................311
10
Chapter 1
Android represents a big potential market. It is also the most open of the "big"
phone and tablet platforms. You can write a program for an Android and let
your friends have a copy, keep it to yourself or put it on sale in an app store.
Android phones and tablets are comparatively cheap and this makes it easier
to get started. What is even better, all the tools you need to create an Android
app are free. You don't need to pay anything to create, or distribute, your
Android apps. If you want to sell them using a well known marketplace there
may something to pay – there is a one-time fee of $25 to register for Google
Play, but you don't have to use any particular distribution method.
All that stands between you and your Android app is your imagination and
programming ability. I can't do much to improve your imagination, but I can
help with the programming side of things. If you are new to Android
programming this is the place to start.
In this book I will show you the fundamentals of Android programming. Not
the tips and tricks, but how to think about what is going on. You'll be
introduced to the general principles that will make it possible for you to
master anything that you encounter that is new in the future. It isn’t possible
to cover all of Android in one book as the subject is very large. Instead we
focus on the basics of creating a User Interface (UI) as all apps have to have
some way of interacting with a user.
There are many ways to create an Android app but Google's Android Studio is
an easy to use Android IDE – Integrated Development Environment – and it is
now the recommended way of doing the job.
Before Android Studio you had to use the Eclipse IDE and set up the SDK and
other pieces of software needed. This wasn't difficult, but Android Studio
eliminates extra steps and it makes programming Android easy. Put simply, it
is the way of the future and so worth your investment in learning it.
With the release of Android Studio Google stopped work on the Eclipse
plugin and this means that Android Studio really is the only way to develop
apps from now on.
11
The Language Choice
With the release of Android Studio 3 you now have a choice of programming
in Java or Kotlin. The advantage of Java is that it is a well known and well
supported language. If you already program in Java or want to acquire the
skill then you might well be better off starting with Android Programming In
Java: Starting with an App ISBN: 978-1871962550
Kotlin may be a be a new language but it is already well supported for the
simple reason that it is 100% compatible with Java. The Android libraries are
all written in Java, but Kotlin can make use of them with no problems. It is
this that makes Kotlin Android development possible. What is more, you
aren’t restricted to Kotlin in a project. You can add Java code to your new
Kotlin project and you can add Kotlin code to an existing Java project.
Put simply, there is very little risk involved in moving to Kotlin and there is a
lot to be gained. Kotlin is a much simpler and cleaner language than Java. It
has had the benefit of seeing how Java evolved and avoiding those mistakes.
Kotlin attempts to get straight to the point. In Java you tend to write some
code over and over and it can be time consuming and hides the simplicity of
what you are trying to do. Whenever this happens Kotlin modifies the
language so that you can express what you are doing succinctly. Programmers
moving from Java to Kotlin generally find that they like it because they get
more done with less typing. Programmers who only know Kotlin don’t know
how lucky they are!
Kotlin does things differently from Java and while you can pick up the
language as you go you might like to read Programmer's Guide To Kotlin
ISBN:978-1871962536. It isn’t necessary, as long as you know Java or another
object-oriented language, you can pick up Kotlin as you develop your
Android apps but I recommend learning the finer points of the language
sooner or later. It pays off to know your language.
The way Kotlin is used and the ways it changes Android programming in
particular are introduced as we go along. However, the final chapter is a brief
look at the major influences of Kotlin on Android programming. If you want a
quick overview before you start then read the final chapter, but in many ways
it makes more sense to read it as a summary after you have encountered the
ideas in context.
The bottom line is that, unless you have a commitment to Java, you probably
should start new projects in Kotlin and convert existing projects to Kotlin a
bit at a time.
12
What You Need to Know
You need to be able to program in a modern object-oriented language. Java
would be best as it is closest to Kotlin, but C++, C#, Visual Basic or anything
similar are close enough in spirit to Java for you to be able to cope. You might
well need to look things up about the specifics of particular features of Kotlin,
but most of the time it should be obvious, or obvious with the help of a few
comments.
It isn't necessary to be an expert programmer because for a lot of Android
programming you are simply using the features and facilities provided. That
is, a lot of Android programming is just a matter of following the rules.
However, if you hope to produce something unique and useful you will at
some point have to add something of your own – and here creativity and skill
are required. So you might not need to be an expert programmer to get
started, but you need to become one by the time you create your amazing app.
Fortunately practice is a good teacher and so learning to make the most of
Android Studio will actually help you learn to code.
Making a Start
I'm not going to spend a lot of time explaining how to install Android Studio
in a step-by-step way as the Android website does a good job and it is more
likely to be up-to-date. It is worth, however, going over the basic principles.
https://developer.android.com/studio/
The installer will download everything you need including the JDK.
Windows:
1. Launch the downloaded EXE file,
android-studio-bundle-<version>.exe.
2. Follow the setup wizard to install Android Studio.
Mac OS X:
1. Open the downloaded DMG file,
android-studio-bundle-<version>.dmg
2. Drag and drop Android Studio into the Applications folder.
13
Linux:
1. Unpack the downloaded ZIP file,
android-studio-bundle-<version>.tgz,
into an appropriate location for your applications.
2. To launch Android Studio, navigate to the
android-studio/bin/
directory in a terminal and execute studio.sh. You may want to add
android-studio/bin/
to your PATH environmental variable so that you can start Android
Studio from any directory.
Accept any defaults that the setup program offers you – unless you have a
good reason not to. It installs not only Android Studio, but the SDK and the
virtual device system that lets you test your application.
14
Your First Program
You can opt to start Android Studio after the installation. You will probably
not get straight to Android Studio the first time it starts as it downloads
updates to itself and to the Android SDK. You just have to be patient.
When it finally gets going you will see the Android Studio welcome screen:
If you have already created some programs you might well see them listed in
Recent projects.
Assuming this is your first project select the option:
Start a new Android Studio project
15
You can ignore the details of the new project for the moment. All you have to
do is supply a name for your application – HelloWorld in this case. Also make
sure you have Include Kotlin support ticked – this is what makes the project
use Kotlin rather than Java. Accept the other defaults that Android Studio
has filled in for you.
When you click Next you are given the chance to pick what devices you are
targeting. Again simply accept the defaults:
Most of the time you will want to create apps that run on a version of Android
that captures the biggest market but if this isn't a concern then it can be better
to select a more recent Android version.
16
The next page lets you select a template for your project. In this case change
the selection to Basic Activity. This gives you some additional generated code
which makes the app easier to create an app that looks right. Every Android
application consists of at least one Activity and this template generates a
project with a single Activity ready for you to customize:
On the next page you can assign custom names for the various components of
your project that the template generates. For a real project you would assign
names that were meaningful but in this case you can accept the defaults:
Finally you can click the Finish button and wait as Android Studio creates all
the files you need. Even a simple Android project has lots of files so again it
all takes time.
17
First Look
When everything is ready you will see Android Studio for the first time.
As long as everything has worked you should eventually, it takes about three
minutes or more, be presented with a view of your new project starting off in
the Layout Editor:
Problems?
If you get any error messages then the chances are that your project hasn't
finished being processed. Wait a little while longer for the activity to stop. If
you look at the status line at the bottom of the window you will see a message
saying “Gradle Build Finished” when Android Studio has finished with your
new project.
If you still have problems it is worth trying the File,Invalidate Caches/Restart
command. This usually works for "Missing styles" and similar errors.
18
The IDE
Although there looks like a lot to master in Android Studio's user interface,
most of it you will only visit occasionally. The key things to notice are that
moving from left to right you have:
● The Project window
● The tool Palette and the Component Tree window
● The Layout Editor
● The Attributes window
Most of the time you will be using the Project window and the Attributes
window. You will also see different editors depending on what sort of file
you have selected. In this case you have by default a layout file,
content_main.xml, selected and hence you have a layout editor in the middle
of the screen.
Before we go into layout, which is one of the main topics of this book, it is
important that you know a little about the file structure of a project so that
you can navigate to its different parts.
It seems almost unbelievable that the simplest Android app you can create
involves so many files.
19
Don't panic. Most of the files that have been created are auto-generated and
most of the time you don't need to know anything about them, let alone open
or edit them. In fact opening and editing auto-generated files really isn't a
good idea.
So let's focus on the files that matter to us.
For our simple program there are only two important files. One of them
determines the behavior of the Activity:
MainActivity.kt
The other determines the visual appearance, or View, of the app:
content_main.xml
You can set which Activity is the one that the system starts, but by default it
is the single activity that you created and named when you set up the project.
You can change the default names but for the moment leave them as they are.
Despite this being a Kotlin project, the java directory, from your point of view,
is where most of the construction of your app occurs, so make sure you know
where it is. The res directory is where you store all of the resources, layouts,
bitmaps, etc, that your app needs.
So while things look complicated at the moment the only two project files
that matter to you, and your project, are MainActivity.kt in the java folder
and content_main.xml in the res folder.
The two other folders in the java folder are concerned with creating tests for
your program. This is not something that we need to worry about when first
starting to write Android apps.
Anatomy of an Activity
An Android app is made up of one or more Activity classes.
You can think of an Activity as being something like a web page complete
with HTML to determine what displays and JavaScript to determine what it
does.
In the case of an Activity the layout is determined by the XML file in resource
(res) folder, this is often called the View, and the behavior is determined by
the Kotlin or Java code in the java folder.
The XML can be thought of as a markup language much like HTML or XAML.
It defines an initial layout for the screen when the app first runs. It is possible
to generate new layout components at runtime from the Java file. In fact, if
you really want to, you can dispense with the XML file and generate
everything from code, but as you will discover the XML markup approach is
much the best way to do the job because of the availability of the Layout
Editor.
20
So to be 100% clear in a Kotlin project:
● The kt file contains the code that makes your app behave in particular
ways.
● The .xml layout file contains a definition of the initial UI, the View, of
your app.
You can switch between editing the XML as text, and editing it in the drag-
and-drop Layout Editor simply by clicking on the tab. If you now click on the
tab the window will display the Layout Editor but be patient the first time
you do this it might take a few moments.
21
The Layout Editor looks a little too much to take in when you first see it but
you will quickly get used to it. On the left is a Palette of all of the components
or controls - buttons, text, checkboxes and so on - that you can place on the
design surface:
In the middle is the design surface and this defaults to the screen size and
appearance of the Nexus 5. You can select other devices to work with.
22
There are, in fact, two views of the layout that you can use, the design and the
blueprint. By default you are shown the design view but you can display
either view using the menu at the top left of the design area.
You can display both views together but in most cases available screen area is
the main issue and showing just one is the best option. The design view
shows you the layout as a close approximation to how it will appear on a real
device. The blueprint view doesn’t try to render the UI realistically but it does
provide you will more layout information to help you position and size
elements. Use whichever you are most happy with.
23
On the left, below the Palette, you have the Component Tree which shows
you the structure of your layout, that is how different UI components are
contained inside others. It shows you the structure of the XML file in an
easier to use form. You can use the Component Tree as an easy way of to
select individual UI components by clicking on their names. You can also
drag-and-drop UI components onto the Component Tree to position them
accurately within the hierarchy.
On the right you have the Attributes window that can be used to set the
attributes, such as width, height, color and so on of any component in the
layout. If you have used any drag-and-drop Layout Editor then this will seem
familiar and if you have struggled with detailed layout using a markup
language, be it HTML, XAML or XML, you will appreciate how easy the
Layout Editor makes building and testing a UI.
In the case of our sample program the only component is a single TextView
already containing the text "Hello World". A TextView is the standard
component to use when all we want to do is to display some static text.
24
You can modify the greeting text if you want to. Select the TextView
component either on the design or in the Component Tree and use the
Attributes window to find its Text attribute. Change this to read "Hello
Android World":
Use the text field without the spanner icon. The properties with the spanner
icon next to them are used to set values that only show in the Layout Editor.
In this case the text field without the spanner icon is the one that controls
what appears in your app at runtime.
You can use the Layout Editor to create any UI you care to and you really
don't have to get involved in the XML that corresponds to the layout – unless
things go wrong or you need to do something so sophisticated that the Layout
Editor doesn't support it.
25
Inspecting the XML
The Layout Editor will automatically generate the XML needed to create the
layout for you and modify it as you change the layout.
If you really want to see the XML then all you have to do is select the Text tab
at the bottom of the Layout Editor window:
<?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?>
<android.support.constraint.ConstraintLayout
xmlns:android="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res/android"
xmlns:app="http://schemas.android.com/apk/res-auto"
xmlns:tools="http://schemas.android.com/tools"
android:layout_width="match_parent"
android:layout_height="match_parent"
app:layout_behavior="@string/appbar_scrolling_view_behavior"
tools:context="com.example.mikejames.helloworld1.MainActivity"
tools:showIn="@layout/activity_main">
<TextView
android:layout_width="wrap_content"
android:layout_height="wrap_content"
android:text="Hello World!"
app:layout_constraintBottom_toBottomOf="parent"
app:layout_constraintLeft_toLeftOf="parent"
app:layout_constraintRight_toRightOf="parent"
app:layout_constraintTop_toTopOf="parent" />
</android.support.constraint.ConstraintLayout>
You should find it fairly easy to understand – read the <TextView> tag for
example – but leave it to the Layout Editor to create and modify it.
The quantities starting with @ are all references to things defined elsewhere
in resource files, more of this in chapter 11.
We will return to the Layout Editor and the XML it generates in many later
chapters.
26
The Kotlin
If you double click on the MainActivity.kt file, or just select the
MainActivity.kt tab, you will see the code it contains. Some of the code might
be hidden but you can inspect it if you want to by clicking the + button to
expand it.
The important part of the code is:
class MainActivity : AppCompatActivity() {
You can ignore the instructions that follow the setContentView function
because these set up the standard "extras" that every Android application now
supports – a floating ActionBar.
There are two other functions below the onCreate function but ignore these
for the moment. They implement features you didn't really ask for which can
be useful, but not when you are just getting started.
The onCreate function is the only thing that matters at the moment. This
function is called when your app is run and it is expected to create the view
and do the actions the Activity is concerned with.
As our Activity doesn't really do anything much the only thing onCreate has
to do is first call the inherited OnCreate method, super.onCreate, to do all the
standard things and then use the setContentView function to select the XML
file that determines the layout of the Activities screen.
The line:
setContentView(R.layout.activity_main)
is the most important of all and really the only one that actually does
anything. It gets the resource object R that represents the layout as defined by
the XML file created by the Layout Editor and makes it the current
ContentView, i.e. it is what is displayed on the screen. In other words, it
makes the connection between the layout you have defined using the Layout
Editor and stored in the XML file, and the user interface that appears on the
device’s screen.
You may be puzzled as to why you edited a resource file called
content_main.xml and yet the Kotlin is loading a resource file called
activity_main.xml
The answer is that to make extending your app easier Android Studio creates
two layout files, activity_main.xml that creates the "standard" controls that
27
are displayed and content_main.xml that you use to design your custom UI.
Of course, activity_main.xml contains a reference to content_main.xml. This
makes things more complicated for the beginner but it is a simplification
later.
We have more to learn about the resource object R but you can see that its
main role is to form a link between your Java code and the resources that
have been created as XML files by the Layout Editor.
As this is all our Activity does this is all the code we need. While I agree it is
hardly an "activity" it is enough to see the basic outline of an Android app
and to see how to get it running – which is our next job.
28
If no emulators are listed then you will have to create one. Select the Create
New Emulator button. This will present a dialog box where you can select the
device you want to test on.
The default is the Nexus 5 running Nougat API 25 and for a first test you
might as well use this. If you need other devices you can use the AVD
(Android Virtual Device) Manager to define them.
If you see a message on the right of the screen “HAXM is not installed” then it
is a good idea to click the Install Haxm link just below. HAXM is an
accelerator that is used on Intel machines to make the Android Emulator run
faster. You don’t need it but it does speed things up:
You can accept all of the defaults in this first run. You can monitor the
loading of the emulation in the Run window which appears automatically at
the bottom of Android Studio. You may see some warnings appear – these can
mostly be ignored.
29
The whole process takes some time the first time you do it. After the first time
the emulator is already running and the instant run feature tries to re-run
your app with the minimum changes:
Finally, remember to wait until the Android operating system is loaded and
you see the familiar home screen before you start to wonder where your app
is. Even when it is loaded it is a good idea to give it a few seconds for Android
Studio to notice it and to upload your app:
30
In our case this isn't particularly impressive – just the words “Hello Android
World!”, but when you think of the journey traveled it really should impress.
From this point you can now modify the code or the layout and run the app
again to see the effects of the changes. If anything goes wrong and you get in a
mess then simply delete the project and create it again from scratch.
You still have a lot to discover about how to extend the app and make it
useful, but the adventure has begun.
31
Summary
● Android Studio makes creating Android apps a lot easier than other
approaches and it is currently the only official way to do the job.
● An app has at least one Activity and this defines a screen layout, the
View, and a behavior. An Activity doesn't have to have a UI, but in
most cases it does have one.
● When you run the app you can select which AVD or which hardware
device is used to test it. When you first start simply use the default
AVD, a Nexus 5.
● You can modify and re-run your app without having to restart the
AVD or any real hardware connected to the machine.
32
Chapter 2
So you know how to create an Android app, but do you really know how it
works? In this chapter we look at how to create a user interface (UI) and how
to hook it up to the code in the Activity.
We discovered in Chapter 1 how to use Android Studio to build the simplest
possible app. On the way we discovered that an Android app consists of two
parts – an Activity and a View. The Activity is the code that does something
and the View provides the user interface (UI). You can think of this duality as
being similar to the HTML page and the JavaScript that runs to make it do
something, or as a XAML form and the code behind.
The key idea is that an Activity is the code that works with a UI screen
defined by the View. This isn't quite accurate in that an Activity can change
its view so that one chunk of code can support a number of different views.
However, there are advantages to using one Activity per view because, for
example, this how the Android back button navigates your app – from
Activity to Activity.
A complex app nearly always consists of multiple Activities that the user can
move between like web pages but a simple app can manage quite well with
just one Activity. There is no hard and fast rule as to how many Activities
your app has to have, but it has to have least one.
If you are wondering if an Activity can exist without a View the answer is
that it can, but it doesn't make much sense as this would leave the user with
no way to interact with your app. Activities are active when their View is
presented to the user.
It really is a great simplification to think in terms of an Activity as a single
screen with a user interface.
If you want something to run without a UI then what you want is a service or
a content provider which is beyond the scope of this book.
It is also worth making clear at this early stage that an Activity has only one
thread of execution – the UI thread – and you need to be careful not to
perform any long running task because this would block the UI and make
your app seem to freeze. That is, an Activity can only do one thing at a time
and this includes interacting with the user. If you write a program using a
single activity and it does a complicated calculation when the user clicks a
33
button then the activity will not be able to respond to any additional clicks or
anything that happens in the UI until it finishes the calculation.
In most cases the whole purpose of the Activity that is associated with the UI
is to look after the UI and this is what this book is mostly about.
Also notice that creating additional Activities doesn't create new threads.
Only one Activity is active at any given time, more of this later when we
consider the Activity lifecycle in detail.
In this book we are going to concentrate on the single screen UI Activity
because it is the most common app building block you will encounter, and it
is even where most complex apps start from.
The MainActivity
There is one activity in every project that is nominated as the one to be
launched when your app starts. If you use Android Studio to create a new
Basic Activity app called SimpleButton and accept all the defaults, the
startup Activity is called MainActivity by default. You can change which
Activity starts the app by changing a line in the app's manifest.
The Manifest is a project file we haven't discussed before because if you are
using Android Studio you can mostly ignore it and allow Android Studio to
construct and maintain it for you, but it is better if you know it exists and
what it does.
The Manifest is stored in the app/manifests directory and is called
AndroidManifest.xml.
It is an XML file that tells the Android system everything it needs to know
about your app, including what permission it requires to run on a device.
In particular it lists all of the activities and which one is the one to use to start
the app.
If you open the generated Manifest, by double-clicking on it, you will see a
little way down the file:
<activity
android:name=".MainActivity"
android:label="SimpleButton" >
This defines the Activity the system has created for you and the lines just
below this define it as the startup Activity:
<intent-filter>
<action android:name="android.intent.action.MAIN" />
<category android:name="android.intent.category.LAUNCHER" />
</intent-filter>
</activity>
34
Notice that the choice of which Activity starts the app has nothing to do with
what you call it, i.e. calling it MainActivity isn't enough.
For the moment you can rely on Android Studio to look after the Manifest for
you. In most cases you will only need to edit it directly when you need to
correct an error or add something advanced.
All three of these methods are event handlers. That is they are called when
the event that they are named after occurs. The whole of an Android app is a
collection of nothing but event handlers and their helper functions.
Let's take another look at the first two lines of generated code for onCreate,
which are the most important:
override fun onCreate(savedInstanceState: Bundle?) {
super.onCreate(savedInstanceState)
setContentView(R.layout.activity_main)
35
The final instruction calls setContentView, which is a method that has a
number of different overloaded forms. In this case we pass an integer that
indicates which XML file describes the layout to be used for the view. The
setContentView method uses this to create all of the components of your UI
as defined in the XML file. That is, this is the connection between the layout
you created using the Layout Editor and the layout that appears on the
device's screen.
It is worth looking a little closer at the way that the layout file is specified
because this is a general way that Android lets you access resources. There is
a whole chapter about resources later but it is still worth an introduction
now.
The R object is constructed by the system to allow you to access the resources
you have placed in the resource directories. For example, in onCreate the use
of R.layout.activity_main returns an integer value, its id, that allows the
setContentView method to find the activity_main XML layout file. In general
all resources are found via the R object, think of it as an index of resources.
If you have used almost any GUI framework, AWT, Swing, XAML, etc, this
idea will not be new to you. For example, a button is a class derived from
View and to create a button all you have to do is create an instance of the
Button class. You can of course create as many buttons as you like simply by
creating more instances.
This leaves open the question of where the button appears in the layout?
The answer to this is that there are ViewGroup objects which act as
containers for other View objects. You can set the position of the child View
objects or just allow them to be controlled by various layout rules, more of
which later. You can opt to create the entire UI in code by creating and
working with instances of View objects and this is something demonstrated in
Chapter 7.
36
So to be 100% clear all of the UI objects are defined in code and every UI
object, such as a button, has a class with a similar name that lets you create
the UI in code. In fact this is the only way to create the UI, but there are other
ways of specifying it. Instead of writing code to create the UI you can specify
what you want in an XML file and then use supplied code to display it. This
is what setContentView does – it reads the XML file you specify and creates
objects that implement the UI.
This means you could create the UI by manually writing an XML file
that defines view objects and how they nest one within another and rely on
the system to create the view object hierarchy for you. Although this is
possible, it is much easier to use the Layout Editor to create the XML file and
then allow the system to create the objects for you from the generated XML
file. That is, you can drag-and-drop a button onto the Layout Editor and it will
automatically generate the XML needed to create it and specify where it is
and all of the other details you set.
That is, at the surface level there are three ways to create the UI:
1. You can write code to generate the necessary objects.
2. You can write XML tags and use the system to convert the XML to the
same objects.
3. You can use the Layout Editor to interactively create the UI and
generate the XML file which is then converted into the Java objects
needed. You can think of this as:
drag-and-drop layout -> XML -> View objects
Being able to work with the UI in an interactive editor is one of the great
advantages of using Android Studio and, even if you know how to edit the
XML layout file directly, it isn't a feature you should ignore. It is nearly
always a good idea to use the layout editor as the first step and apply any
tweaks, if necessary, to the XML file later.
37
Creating Our First UI
To see how all of this fits together let’s add a button and a textView object.
You probably already know that a button is for pressing and you can guess
that a textView is used to show the user some text.
First remove the Hello World text that is generated automatically when you
create a new blank Activity. Load the content_main.xml file by opening it
from the project view.
The content_main.xml is where you create all of your UI. There is another
layout file, but as explained in Chapter 1 this simply provides the standard
elements in a UI like the AppBar. Notice that because of this you can see UI
components in the Layout Editor that you cannot edit - they belong to the
other layout file. To remove "Hello World" all you have to do is select it and
press the delete key:
Notice that there is an undo command, Ctrl-Z, if you delete something by
mistake.
38
Next select the button in the Widgets section of the Palette by clicking on it:
If you now place the cursor over the design area you will discover that as you
move it various alignments are indicated by lines:
To position the button simply click and a full button, complete with the
default caption Button, will appear.
39
However, simply dropping the button on the design surface isn't quite
enough. If you just do this the button will be positioned but without any
positioning constraints. If you try running the program you will find that the
button sometimes vanishes on the emulator or real device. The reason is that
with no constraints to its positioning applied it rises to the top of the screen
and is hidden behind other controls.
This behavior is characteristic of the default ConstraintLayout, more of which
later. For the moment we just need to apply some constraints to the button.
The simplest solution is to click on the Infer constraints icon and let Android
Studio work out how to position the button:
When you click this button constraints are added according to where the
Button is positioned. At the moment exactly what constraints you end up
applying matters less than the simple fact that there are some. In the screen
dump below the button is constrained to be a fixed distance from the top and
right-hand side. Notice that you can position the button and then click the
Infer constraints button to set the constraints needed to keep the button in its
location:
Now you have a button on the UI ready to go, let's add a TextView Widget in
exactly the same way – click on its icon in the Palette, position in the Layout
Editor and click to set the position. Notice that Android Studio provides
positioning information to help you align components of the UI. Again you
need to click the Infer constraints icon to position the TextView.
40
The simplest thing to do is position the TextView where you want it and then
click the Infer constraints icon to set the constraints needed for that position:
Of course it doesn't do anything, even if you can click the button. The button
does click, but there is no code connected to the button click event to say
what should happen, something we will deal with very soon.
41
Properties & Attributes
Our next task is to change the caption on the button. Recall that objects have
properties and methods. Things like caption text, background color and so on
for UI widgets are represented as properties. You can change properties in
code, or at design time you can use the Attributes window on the right-hand
side of the screen.
What is the difference between a property and an attribute?
The reality is that all of the UI objects are code objects and quantities like text
are properties of the object but when you specify a quantity in XML it is
known as an attribute. You could say that you set attributes in the XML to set
the properties of code objects.
If you select the button and examine the Attributes window on the right you
will find the button's text attribute. This currently contains the value
"Button". If you change this to "Click Me!" and re-run the app you will see that
the Button's caption has changed:
You can set the initial properties of any of the widgets that you have placed in
the UI. There are a great many properties and we need to spend some time
looking at some of them. However, for the moment the important thing is that
you see how easy it is to change a property using the Attributes window.
As you might guess, the property that you changed results in a change in the
XML file defining the layout. Recall that the general principle is that the
Layout Editor creates the XML file that you could have created by hand
without any help from the Layout Editor. In this sense, the Layout Editor
doesn't add anything to the process, other than being much easier.
42
Events
Now we want to do something when the button is clicked. Android supports
a complete event-driven UI. So what we need to do next is define a method,
or function, that is called when the button is clicked.
Java’s way of implementing events is complicated but now much simplified
in Java 8. Kotlin makes event handlers comparatively easy, but still slightly
more difficult than in languages such as C#.
There are a number of different ways to specify an event handler, but the
simplest is to use the Layout Editor to generate the XML needed for the
system to hookup the event handler to the event. This is not an approach that
you can use all of the time. It only works for the click event, but it gets you
started.
If you have used something like Visual Studio, it is also worth pointing out
that Android Studio doesn't automatically create event handlers for you. In
the case of Android Studio you have to create a function and then assign it as
the onClick handler.
Using the Layout Editor approach, method click event handlers are simply
public methods of the current Activity with the signature:
fun buttonOnClick(v: View){
Just in case you have missed or forgotten what a function's signature is:
A function’s signature is the number and types of the parameters it accepts.
Functions with the same name but different signatures are considered to be
different functions. In this case the function takes a single parameter, which is
a View, and returns Unit, i.e. nothing.
You can call the method anything you like, but in most cases it helps to
specify exactly what the event it handles is. In this case we want to handle
the button's onClick event – which occurs when the user clicks on the button
with a mouse or more likely taps on the button using a touch sensitive
device.
Load the MainActivity.kt file into the code editor and add the following
method:
fun buttonOnClick(v: View){
// do something when the button is clicked
}
This needs to be added directly following the onCreate method, or anywhere
that makes it a method of the MainActivity class.
43
With all this code out of the way, now switch back to the Layout Editor, select
the button, find the onClick property in the Attributes window and enter
buttonOnClick:
At the moment the IDE doesn’t notice Kotlin methods that are suitable event
handlers so you have to type them in, but this might well change in the near
future. Notice that you don't type in parameters, just the name of the method.
That's all there is to it. You define your event handler with the correct
signature and return type and set the appropriate onClick property in the
Attributes window.
When it comes to other types of event you have to do the job in code – the
XML/Layout Editor method only works for onClick.
44
In the case of the View object that caused the event this is very easy as it is
passed to the event handler as the only argument of the call. So if the event
handler is:
fun buttonOnClick(v: View){
and the event handler is only hooked up to the button, then you can be 100%
sure that v is the button object when the event occurs.
If you want to change the button's caption you could just use its text property
to change its value.
Note: this is a Java property as all Android classes are Java classes. This means
they don’t have properties but have get and set methods which retrieve and
modify property values. Kotlin automatically converts such get and set
properties to properties that can be used without reference to get and set
methods. In other words in Java you would have to write v.setText(“New Text”);
but in Kotlin you can write v .text=”New Text”. Kotlin automatically converts
the assignment to a call to setText.
So if you are a Java programmer get out of the habit of calling getter and setters
and just use assignment.
So, in principle, all you have to write is:
v.text="I've Been Clicked!"
However, this doesn't work because v is declared to be a general View object
which doesn't have a text property – not all View objects have any text to
display.
To use the Button's text property we have to cast v to its correct type, namely
a Button.
Note: Casting is where you tell the system the type of the object you are working
with. If classB is a subclass of classA then you can treat a classB object as a
classA - after all it has all of the methods and properties that classA does by
inheritance.
However, if you want to make use of a property or method that only classB has
then you need to cast the reference to the classB object to make its type clear.
For example, assuming classB inherits from classA:
val myObject:classA = classB()
creates an instance of classB but myObject is declared to be of type classA. This
is fine but you can only access the methods and properties of the classA object.
45
However, if you try:
myObject.classBMethod()
then it will fail if classBMethod only exists in classB.
To use the classB method you have to cast myObject to its real type:
myObject as classB
You can store a reference to the cast in a new variable:
val myClassBObject:classB = myObject as classB
and then call the method:
myClassBObject.classBMethod()
or you can just do the cast on the fly at the cost of an extra pair of parentheses:
(myObject as classB).classBMethod()
If you simply change the code to cast the v object to a Button object, i.e.
(Button) v, you will discover that Android Studio flags an error by showing
Button in red. If you hover over the red symbol you will see the exact error
message:
This is because you have used a class without importing it. You may see other
classes, View, for example highlighted in red as which classes are imported
by default depends on the exact project template you are using.
Any class that you use has to be listed at the top of the program in an import
statement. Whenever you see a "Cannot resolve symbol" error message the
most likely cause is that you haven't imported the class.
This can be a tedious business but Android Studio has some help for you. If
you click on the error symbol you will see a blue hint message:
46
If you look at the hint message it suggests pressing Alt+Enter which is always
good advice because it produces a list of possible fixes for the problem:
You can implement the fix simply by selecting it from the list.
In this case you have to add the class definition to the start of the program.
import android.widget.Button
You can do this manually, i.e. you can type it in, or just select the first option.
The import is added and in a moment the red errors disappear.
If you hover over the corrected Button class name you will also see a light
bulb:
Android Studio offers you hints on improving your code even when there are
no errors – look out for the light bulbs. If you click on this one it will offer to
remove the explicit type specification which is perfectly reasonable as:
val button = v as Button
can be considered more idiomatic Kotlin with the use of type inference.
However the second option is to add a @Deprecated annotation which is
unlikely at best. Android Studio is full of hints and offers to make your code
better at every turn – you don't have to accept them.
47
Now we have the button object we can use its text property:
button.text ="I've Been Clicked"
Remember: No need to use get and set. In Java you would have to write
button.setText(“I’ve Been Clicked”);
The complete event handler is:
fun buttonOnClick(v: View){
val button = v as Button
button.text ="I've Been Clicked"
}
Now if you run the program you will see the button's caption change when
you click the button.
This is a common pattern in making your UI work – event handlers change
the properties of View objects to modify the UI.
Notice that this approach only works if you know the type of the object that
caused the event and called the event handler. If your event handler is only
connected to a single component then you do know the type of the object that
caused the event. If it isn't, or if you want to modify the properties of a View
object that isn't the subject of the event, then you have to find it.
This is exactly what we are going to do next.
48
You can also use this window to enter a new value for the id i.e. you can use
it to “rename” controls.
In this case you can see that our TextView object has been assigned an id of
“textView”. In fact this is in reality an integer constant used to identify the
View object in the layout but Kotlin makes use of this identifier to create an
Activity property of the same name.
The rule is that for every View object defined in the XML file that has an id
Kotlin creates an Activity property of the same name. That is, in this case the
id of the TextView is textView and so Kotlin automatically creates a property
this.textView
or, as you can generally drop this, just:
textView
When the program runs each of these properties is set to reference the View
object created with the same id. That is, the textView property references the
TextView object.
This makes working with the UI very much easier. For example, to set the
text property of the TextView object all we have to do is:
textView.text=”You clicked my button”
As you type “text” notice that Android Studio will prompt you to import a
definition derived from the XML file – accept this and you will be able to
refer to all of the components in the XML file by their id.
49
If you now run the program you will see that you are informed twice of the
fact that this very important button has been clicked:
You may think that this is all very small stuff and nothing like a real app, but
this is how building a UI works in Android.
You now know how to design a single screen app using the widgets available
in the Layout Editor’s Toolbox, how to hook them up to handle their click
events, how to find the object that represents them and how to call the
methods that modify them.
Apart from the fine detail of how each of the widgets works – radio buttons,
checkboxes and so on – you now have the general outline of how to build a
single screen app.
50
Exploring the Variety of Random
Documents with Different Content
poor woman, you know originally made a simpleton of the boy,
contributes now all in her power to finish the sop; and she carries
him about with her everywhere for a show. We were assembled in
the drawing room before dinner: in burst (for it was not a common
entry) Master Sayers, and his mamma, the cub handing in the old
lady—So stiff, and so aukward, and so ungraceful, and so very unlike
Mr Faulkland, that I pitied the poor thing, who thought that every
body would admire him as much as his mother did. After he had
been presented to the ladies (for it was the first time we had seen
him since he came home), he took a turn or two about the room, to
exhibit his person: then applying himself to a picture which hung
over the door (a fine landscape of Claude Lorrain, which Mr
Faulkland himself had brought over and given to Sir George), he
asked my brother, in a tone scarce articulate, whether we had any
painters in England? My mother, who by chance heard him, and by
greater chance understood him, answered, before Sir George had
time, Painters, Sir! yes, sure, and some very good ones too; why,
you cannot have forgot that; it is not much above a year since you
went abroad, (for you must know he had been recalled upon the
death of an uncle, who had left him his estate). I observed Mr
Faulkland constrained a very fly laugh, on account both of the
manner of my mother’s taking his question, and her innocently-
undesigned reprimand. Sayers pretended not to hear her, but
looking through his fingers, as if to throw the picture into
perspective, that is a pretty good piece, said he, for a copy. Oh!
cry’d his mother, there is no pleasing you—people who have been
abroad are such connoisseurs in painting—No body making any
immediate answer, Mr Faulkland stepped up to Mr Sayers, with such
a roguish humility in his countenance, that you would have sworn he
was a very ignoramus, said, ‘Are you of opinion, Sir, that that picture
is nothing but a copy?’ Nothing more, take my word for it, Sir: When
I was at Rome, there was a Dutchman there who made it his
business to take copies of copies, which he dispersed, and had
people to sell for him in different parts, as pretty good prices; and
they did mighty well; for very few people know a picture; and I’ll
answer for it there are not many masters of eminence, but what
have a hundred originals palmed upon them, more than ever they
painted in their lives.
Mr Faulkland then proceeded to ask him abundance of questions,
which any one, who did not know him well, would have thought he
proposed for no other end but a desire of information; and the poor
coxcomb Sayers plumed himself upon displaying so much travelled
knowlege, to a wondering ignorant Englishman, who had never been
out of his own country. The company were divided into little
chattering parties, as is usual when people are whiling away an half
hour before dinner. Mrs. Sayers, my mother, and I, were sitting
together on a couch, near enough to hear the conversation that
passed between the two gentlemen; at least as much as was not
sunk in the affected, half-pronounced sentences of Mr Sayers. His
mother, to whom he was the principal object of attention in the
company, seemed mightily pleased at the opportunity her son had,
from the inquisitiveness of Mr Faulkland (whom she did not know) of
shewing his taste in the polite arts, and often looked about to
observe if any body else attended to them. My mother, dear literal
woman! (as I often call her to you) took every thing seriously, and
whispered to me, how pretty that is, Sidney! how condescending in
Mr Faulkland! you see he does not make a parade of his own
knowledge in these matters, but is pleased to reap the benefit of
other people’s. I, who saw the latent roguery, could hardly contain
myself. Indeed I was amazed at Mr Faulkland’s grave inquisitive face,
and was very glad my mother did not find him out.
Sayers, elated with having shone so conspicuously (for he observed
that both my mother and I attended to his discourse) proceeded to
shew away with an immensity of vanity and frothy chat, beginning
every new piece of history with, ‘When I was at Rome, or, when I
was at Paris’—At last, unluckily for him, speaking of an incident
(which made a good deal of noise, and happened at the first-
mentioned place) in which two English gentlemen had been
concerned, he said it was about eleven months ago, just before he
left Rome. My mother, who had heard Mr Faulkland relate the same
story, but with some very different circumstances, immediately said,
Mr Faulkland, have I not heard you speak of that? you were at Rome
yourself when the affair happened; and if I be not mistaken, it was
through your interest with the cardinal of —— that the business was
made up.
If a spectre had appeared to poor Sayers, he could not have looked
more aghast. He dropped his visage half-way down his breast, and
for the first time speaking very plain, and very loud too, with a share
of astonishment, Have you been at Rome, Sir? I was there for a little
time, Sir, answered Mr Faulkland, with real modesty; for he pitied the
mortified buzzard; and I know the story was represented as you
have told it; the circumstances differed in a few particulars, but the
facts were nearly as you have related them.
How obligingly did he reconcile the out-of-countenance Sayers to
himself and to the company? Were you long abroad, pray Sir, said
the coxcomb? About five years, Sir, answered Mr Faulkland; but I
perceive, by the conversation I have had the honour of holding with
you to-day, that many accurate and curious observations escaped
me, which you made in a much shorter space of time; for the
communication of which I think myself extremely obliged to you.
Whether the poor soul thought him serious (as my mother did) I
cannot tell; he made him a bow, however, for the compliment; but
was so lowered, that he did not say a word more of Rome or Paris
for the rest of the day: and in this we had a double advantage; for
as he had nothing else to talk of, his mouth was effectually stopped,
except when Mr Faulkland, out of compassion, asked him (as he
often did) such questions as he thought he could answer, without
exposing his ignorance: for he was contented to have enjoyed it in
their tête à tête, and was far from wishing the company to be
witnesses of it.
I think such a bagatelle may give you some idea of this man’s turn. I
told it to Sir George; he laughed heartily, and said it was so like him!
My brother loves even his faults, though he will not allow me to call
them by that name.
July 4
You are unkind, Cecilia, and do not do justice to my sincerity, when
you say, you are sure I am in love with Mr Faulkland. If I were, can
you conceive it possible that I would deny it to you? Ah! my sister,
must I suspect you of wanting candour by your making a charge of
disingenuity against your friend? Indeed, Cecilia, if I am in love with
him, I do not yet know it myself. I will repeat it to you, I think him
the most amiable of men, and should certainly give him the
preference, if I were left to a free choice, over all the rest of his sex;
at least all that I have ever yet seen; though possibly there may be
handsomer, wiser, better men, but they have not fallen within my
observation. I am not however so prepossessed in his favour, as to
suppose him a phoenix; and if any unforeseen event were to prevent
my being his, I am sure I should bear it, and behave very
handsomely.
And yet perhaps this may be only bragging like a coward, because I
think a very short time will put it out of the power of fortune to
divide us. Yet certain as the event of our marriage appears to me at
present, I still endeavour to keep a sort of guard over my wishes,
and will not, give my heart leave to center all its happiness in him;
and therefore I cannot rank myself amongst the first-rate lovers,
who have neither eyes, nor ears, nor sensations, but for one object.
This, Mr Faulkland says, is his case, in regard to me. But I think we
women should not love at such a rate, till duty makes the passion a
virtue; and till that becomes my case, I am so much a philosopher in
love that I am determined not to let it absorbe any of the other
cordial affections, which I owe to my relations and my friends.
I think we ought always to form some laws to ourselves for the
regulation of our conduct: without this, what an impertinent dream
must the life be of almost every young person of our sex? You, my
dear, though with an uncommon understanding of your own, have
always been intirely conducted by your wise parents; and in this I
make it my boast to have followed your example. I have been
accustomed from my infancy to pay an implicit obedience to the best
of mothers; the conforming to this never yet cost me an uneasy
minute, and I am sure never will.
July 5
A little incident happened to-day, which pleased my mother
wonderfully. She had been at morning prayers (as you know is her
daily custom); when returning home in her chair, one of the men
happened to flip his foot, and fell down just before Mr Faulkland’s
house. He was so much hurt, that he could go no farther; and the
footman immediately opening the chair, told her she had better step
into Mr Faulkland’s, till he called another, or got a man to assist in
carrying her home. One of Mr Faulkland’s servants happened to be
standing at the door; so that, without any previous notice, she was
immediately conducted into a parlour, where Mr Faulkland was
sitting at breakfast. She found with him two pretty little children at
his knee, to one of whom he had given some cake; and the elder of
the two, a boy of about five years old, he was gravely lecturing,
though with great gentleness, for having told a lye. My mother asked
him, with some surprise, whose children those were? He smiled, and
told her they were his coachman’s; and then ordered the footman to
carry them down, bidding the little boy be sure to remember what
he had said to him.
My mother enquired, if he permitted them to be in the house? He
said, he did; and had been induced to do it from the distress he had
seen their poor father in, a few days before. He is an honest careful
fellow, continued Mr Faulkland, and has lived in my family from a
boy. He was married to a good sort of a body, who took great care
of these children, and helped to maintain them decently by her
work. The poor woman died in childbed last week; and the person
who attended her in her illness (for she had no servant) took that
opportunity of robbing the lodgings; and after plundering the poor
creature of every thing that was worth carrying away, locked up
those two children, which you saw with me, and the new-born
infant, with the corpse of their mother.
The poor little wretches continued in that dismal situation all night,
having cried themselves to sleep, without being heard, though there
were some other people in the house. The morning following I
happened to make an early visit in the neighbourhood of this
distressed little family, and my coachman, who was a very
affectionate husband and father, took that opportunity of calling on
his wife whom he had not been able to see for three days. The cries
of his children (now awake and almost starved) obliged him hastily
to break open the room door, where the poor fellow was shocked
with the dismal spectacle of his wife lying breathless in her bed, the
infant almost expiring at her side, and the other two poor little
famished creatures calling to their dead mother for bread.
The sight almost deprived the man of his senses. He snatched up his
two eldest children in his arms, and ran raving to the house where I
was; tearing his hair like a madman. He told me his mournful story;
with which I was so affected, that I ordered one of my footmen to
carry the two children home to my house directly, and desired their
father to look out for some body to take care of the young one,
which he soon did.
The honest poor fellow was delighted, when he came home, to find
his two children well and merry; for they were sensible of no want
but their food. But his grief returned on him with great violence at
the thoughts of his being obliged to put them into the hands of
people, who, he said, he was sure would not be so kind to them as
their own poor mother had been; and my man told me he did
nothing but kiss them, and cry over them the whole day. To make
his mind easy at once, I let him know they should remain here under
his own eye, till they were old enough to be put to school; and
accordingly directed my housekeeper to see that they were taken
care of; which has made their father very happy.
The little rogues have found their way up to me, and I love some
times to hear them prattle; but this morning the eldest having told
me a lye of his brother, I was checking him for it when you came in.
My mother was so pleased with Mr Faulkland’s conduct in his little
history, that she repeated it to me word for word as soon as she
came home, and concluded with observing, how good a creature Mr
Faulkland must be, who in so tender a manner interested himself in
his poor servant’s misfortune. Most young gentlemen, said she,
would have thought they had done enough in giving the servant
money to have provided for his children how he could: it is in such
trifles as these that we often discover the excellence of the heart.
You will suppose, my dear, that I am not displeased at any
circumstance that can raise Mr Faulkland’s character in my pious
mother’s esteem. I heard the story with great pleasure; but not
making any comments on it, Sir George (who was present at the
relation), said, Well, Sidney, you are either very affected, or the
greatest stoic in the world; why, any other girl would be in raptures
at such a proof of the honest tenderness of that heart which she
knows she possesses intirely, and on which the whole of her future
happiness depends. I am very sensible of Mr Faulkland’s worth,
brother, I replied, and I can feel without being transported. I will be
hanged, said Sir George, if I think you love Faulkland, at least not
half as well as he deserves; and I dare swear you have not been
honest enough to tell him yet whether you do or not. It is time
enough for that, I replied; if Mr Faulkland and I should be married, I
hope I shall give him no cause to complain of my want of affection.
If you marry, said my brother! I know of no possible ifs, unless they
are of your own making. I know of none neither, answered my
mother; yet I think Sidney is in the right to be doubtful about all
human events. Many things, added she gravely (for she has a great
veneration for old sayings), fall out between the cup and the lip.
I think, mother, said Sir George, bluntly, you were disappointed in
your first love; I have heard you speak of it, but I forget the
circumstances. As I had never heard my mother make any mention
of this particular, I begged she would oblige me with relating it.
When I was about one-and-twenty, daughter, said she, a match was
concluded by my father between me and a very fine gentleman. I
loved him, and (as I suppose all young women do in the like
circumstances) believed myself equally beloved by him. The
courtship had been of a year’s standing; for you must know I was
not very easily won. Every thing was settled, and the day appointed
for our marriage arrived; when, instead of the bridegroom, whom
we every minute expected, there came a letter from him directed to
me. The contents were, that having formerly been engaged to a
young lady by the most solemn vows, he had, unfortunately for
them both, forgot them all on seeing me, and had broke through
every obligation divine and human to obtain me. He intreated mine,
and my family’s pardon, in the most pathetic manner, for having
engaged our esteem so far as to consent to an union, of which he
found himself unworthy, and which it was impossible for him to
accomplish; for, said he, the wrongs I have done the woman, whose
youth I seduced, rise to my imagination with so much horror, that,
for the empire of the world, I would not complete my guilt, by
devoting that hand to another, to which she only has a right. He
enlarged greatly on the sufferings of his heart, in the struggle
between his love for me, and his duty to the person who had his first
vows; and whom, he declared, his infidelity had almost brought to
the grave. He claimed my pity, both on his own and her account;
and repeatedly intreated my forgiveness of his fault.
The whole letter, which was very long, was so expressive of a mind
overwhelmed with despair, that I was exceedingly shocked at the
reading of it. What could I say? The plea he offered for his
seemingly strange conduct, was too just to admit of any objections.
I own the disappointment afflicted me, but I bore it with a becoming
resolution. My family were at first exceedingly exasperated against
my doubly unfaithful lover; but, upon enquiring into the facts, they
found the truth to be as he had represented it. The conclusion was,
that, upon the very day on which he was to have been married to
me, and on which he had writ me that gloomy letter, he was seized
with a melancholy, with increasing on him daily, soon after ended in
absolute madness, and he was obliged to be confined for the
remainder for his life. The young lady lived but a short time after the
melancholy fate of her lover, and died, as it was said, of a broken
heart.
It was a great comfort to me to reflect that my fate disposed
otherwise of me than to this unhappy gentleman; for I am very sure,
had these fatal events happened in consequence of my marriage
with him, that I should never have survived it.
This extraordinary anecdote of my mother’s life, which I had never
had a hint of before (for she could not speak of it without great
emotion), very much affected me. Sir George said, the story was
more tragical than he had apprehended, and told my mother, that
was an accident which fell out between the cup and the lip, with a
vengeance.
My mother continued thoughtful for a good while; and I was sorry
that the memory of this melancholy story had been revived; but Sir
George talked and laughed us both in spirits again.
July 6
This Mr Faulkland is a princely man; he has sent me such a set of
jewels! My mother says they are too fine for a private gentlewoman;
but George tells her they are not a bit too fine for Mr Faulkland’s
wife, and only suitable to his fortune. You know I have but few of
my own, those only which were my mother’s when she was a
maiden. The greatest part of her’s, and by much the finest, were
presented to her by my father; but those she reserves for Sir
George, against the time of his marriage, as a present for his lady;
for they are family jewels.
July 8
My probation is over, my Cecilia.—The formidable question has been
put to me, and I have answered it—Ay marry, say you, but how? In
the negative, to be sure, my dear—No, no, my Cecilia; a valuable
(psha! what an affected cold word that is), a lovely and most worthy
man, with six thousand pounds a year, is a prize that a country girl
must not expect to draw every day. Mr Faulkland, in lover-like
phrase, demanded from me the time of his destined happiness: I
referred him to my mother. She, good and delicate as she is,
referred him back to Sir George. George blurted out some sudden
day that startled us both, when Mr Faulkland reported it to us. I
stammered out something; my mother hesitated; Sir George came
in, and blundered at us all; so I think we compounded for the time,
and amongst us fixed upon this day month—And full soon enough,
says my Cecilia: you have known the man but about six weeks, and
surely a month is as little time as you can take, in preparing fineries.
True, my girl, true; but it is all George’s doings. Indeed, my Cecilia,
without affectation, I had much rather have had a longer day;
though I think I know the man as well in those six weeks, as if I had
been acquainted with him so many years; for he has spent most of
his hours with us every day during that time; and my mother says
he is one of those in whom there is no guile.
Sir George is downright insolent; he declares I am not sensible of my
own happiness, and that I deserve to be married to some little petty
Wiltshire ’squire. He so piques himself upon making this match,
there is no bearing him. He has taken all matters of settlement upon
himself, and insists on my mother’s not interposing. She acquiesces,
but charges my brother not to let Mr Faulkland’s generosity carry
him too far, and bids him remember what is due to his friend, as well
as to his sister.
July 10
I really begin to be hurried. My mother, you know, is exactly
punctilious in every thing. Such a quantity of things are bought, and
such a quantity to be bought, that there is no end of journies into
the city. Then milaners and mantua-makers!—One would think I was
going to pass the remainder of my life in a remote country, where
there were no kind of manufactures or artificers to be come at, and
that I was to provide cloathing for half a century.
July 12
I have much upon my hands, and Sir George is so impatient, and
troublesome, that I believe I must employ an amanuensis, to give
you a minute detail of all our foppery; for I shall not have patience
to do it myself.
July 17
Sir George has often told me, that he knows of no fault Mr Faulkland
has, but a violence of temper when provoked. I saw an instance of it
to-day, which I was sorry for, and the more so, as I was in some
measure accessary to it. Mr Faulkland, my brother, a lady of our
acquaintance, and myself, took a ride in Hide-Park this morning. We
were to dine at Kensington (where my mother was to meet us), at
the house of the lady (a relation of Mr Faulkland’s), who was with
us.
We rode into the stable-yard of her house, in order to alight. My
horse, which happened to be a young one that Sir George had newly
bought, saw some object that made him shy of advancing, and he
turned suddenly about. A footman of Mr Faulkland’s, who chanced to
stand just behind me, very imprudently, though I am sure with
design of harm, gave him a stroke with his whip, which made the
animal plunge and throw me, as I had not time to recover my seat
from the first short turn he made. I luckily received not the least
hurt, and was on my feet in an instant. But Mr Faulkland, who had
leaped off his horse even before I fell, was so enraged at the fellow,
that he gave him two or three sound lashes with his whip across the
shoulders, which fell on him as quick as lightning. I am inclined to
think the servant was not sober; for he had the insolence to lay hold
of his master’s whip, and muttered an oath or two. Mr Faulkland’s
attention being quickly turned to me, he took no farther notice of
the man. We went into the house; and after I had assured them all I
was not in the least hurt, I begged of Mr Faulkland to forgive the
footman, who had undesignedly caused the accident. He made a
thousand apologies, for having let his anger so far transport him, as
to chastise his servant in a manner he was not used to do; but the
peril he put you into, madam, addressing himself to me, made me
forget myself. I repeated, I hope, Sir, you have forgiven him. I wish,
my dear Miss Bidulph, said he, that the fellow were guilty of no
other fault but this, that I might shew you my readiness to obey
you; but he is such an intolerable sot, that there is no keeping him
with safety. I have forgiven him several idle things; but as I had
determined to part with him before this happened, I hope you will
be so good as not to insist on my retaining him. I could not
intercede for the foolish fellow after this: so said no more.
This little incident convinces me that Mr Faulkland is of too warm a
temper; yet I am not alarmed at the discovery; you know I am the
very reverse; and I hope in time, by gentle methods, in some
measure to subdue it in Mr Faulkland. His own good sense and good
nature must incline him to wish it corrected. My brother says, he has
often lamented this vice of his nature to him, and said he had taken
infinite pains to get the better of it; and had so far succeeded, that
he seldom was surprized by it, but on very sudden and extraordinary
occasions; such as, I suppose, he looked upon this to be, which I
have related.
We passed the day delightfully at Kensington, and did not return to
town till late. I think I have got cold, as we walked a long time in the
gardens.
July 13
I have got an ugly sore throat; my mother insists on my being let
blood; I am afraid of alarming her by complaining, though I had very
little rest all night. Mr Faulkland came early this morning to enquire
after my health: my mother told him I was not well. How tenderly
dejected were his looks, when I came into the room. Sir George
made him stay to breakfast; he scarce tasted any thing; he was
quite cast down. My brother rallied him (I thought it unreasonable)
on the chance he had the day before of losing his wife. Mr Faulkland
answered, I wish I had followed the first motion of my thoughts, and
discharged that wicked fellow a month ago. Sir George said, as it
happened, there had been no harm done; but he thought Mr
Faulkland would do well to dismiss such an insolent rogue from his
service. He has saved me that trouble, said Mr Faulkland, he has
dismissed himself; but took care to first to rob me. To rob you! we
all repeated in the same breath. Yes, said Mr Faulkland: I told him,
after I got home, that he was to deliver up such things as he had in
his charge to my own man, as I meant to discharge him in the
morning. He made me no reply, for he was a sullen fellow; but when
the family were asleep, he contrived to pick the lock of a bureau in
my dressing room, where I sometimes keep money. I believe what
induced him to it was, his having seen me yesterday morning, when
I was going to ride (a precaution which I generally use), put my
pocket book into this place, and I suppose he concluded there were
bank notes in it, for he took that (I presume without staying to
examine it) and all the money he could find besides, and very
cleverly made his escape out of a back window, which was found
open this morning.
My mother lectured Mr Faulkland a little, for suffering a servant,
whose fidelity he was not sure of, to see where he deposited his
money; which, she said, might prove a temptation to one, who was
not so ill inclined as this man. Mr Faulkland acknowleged it was
careless in him; but said, in his justification, he had been
accustomed to very honest people about him, which rendered him
less suspicious.
He appeared so anxious and unhappy about my indisposition, that I
affected to make as light of it as possible; though indeed I find
myself very much out of order. With what a kind sorrow did he
observe my looks; sighs now and then stole from him, as his eyes
were fixed on my face. I am obliged to him, yet I think I should be
as much concerned for him, if he were ill.
Here is a whole cargo of silks and laces just sent in to me—Heigh-
ho! I can’t look at them—I am not well—and I have such a gantlope
to run of visiting and racketting, that the thought makes me sicker.
July 27
After a fortnight’s, a dreadful fortnight’s intermission, I reassume my
pen. I have often told you, Cecilia, I was not born to be happy. Oh! I
prophesied when I said so, though I knew not why I said it.
I will try to recollect all the circumstances of this miserable interval,
and relate them as well as I can. The last line in my journal (which I
have not yet ventured to send you, as your stay at Paris is so
uncertain) informs you that I was ill. I was let blood; but my disorder
increased, and I was in a high fever before next morning. I
remember what my reflections were, and am sure my apprehensions
of death were not on my own account afflicting, but grievously so at
the thoughts of what those should feel whom I was to leave behind.
My mother and Mr Faulkland, I believe, chiefly engaged my mind;
but I did not long continue capable of reflection. The violence of my
disorder deprived me of my senses on the fourth day, and they tell
me I raved of Mr Faulkland. I remember nothing, but that, in my
intervals of reason, I always saw my poor mother in tears by my
bedside. I was in the utmost danger, but it pleased God to restore
me to the ardent prayers of my dear parent. In about ten days I
began to shew some symptoms of amendment, and enquired how
Mr Faulkland did. My mother answered, he is well, my dear, and
gone out of town, but I believe will return in a day or two. Gone out
of town, said I, and leave me dying! Indeed that was not kind of Mr
Faulkland, and I shall tell him so. My mother was sitting on the
bedside, and had hold of my hand; my brother was standing with his
back to the fire place. I observed they looked at one another, but
neither made me any answer. Pray, Sir George, I cried, would you
serve the woman so whom you were so near making your wife? My
brother was going to reply, but my mother frowned at him; he
looked displeased, and went out of the room. Dear madam, said I,
there is something the matter with Mr Faulkland; don’t keep me in
suspence. I know there is something, which you and my brother
would conceal from me. Is Mr Faulkland sick? Not that I know of, I
assure you, answered my mother; he was well yesterday, for we had
a message from him to enquire after your health, as we have had
every day, for he is but at Richmond; and you know if he were in
town, he could receive no other satisfaction than hearing from you,
as you are too ill to admit of any visits. My mother rang the bell
immediately, and asked me to take something; I saw she wanted to
turn the conversation. My maid Ellen came into the room, and I
asked no more questions.
My mother staid with me till it was time for her to go to rest; but
avoided mentioning Mr Faulkland’s name, or giving me any
opportunity of doing it; for she tenderly conjured me to keep myself
quite composed, and not to talk. The doctor assured her this night
that he thought me out of danger; and she retired with looks of
cordial delight.
She was no sooner gone, than I called Ellen to my bedside, and
charged her to tell me all she knew concerning Mr Faulkland. The
poor girl looked concerned, and seemed to study for an answer. Lord
bless me, madam! what should I know of him more than my lady
has told you? When did you see him, said I? Not for several days,
she answered. Where is he? At Richmond, I heard Sir George say;
but I suppose he will come to town as soon as he hears you are well
enough to receive him. I catched hold of her hand; ‘Ellen, I know
there is something, relative to Mr Faulkland, which you all want to
hide from me; don’t attempt to deceive me; you may be sure,
whatever it be, I must soon be informed of it; in the mean while, my
doubts make me very unhappy.’
The good-natured girl’s trouble and confusion increased as I spoke:
My dear madam, she replied, when you are better my lady will tell
you all: ‘No, no, Ellen, I must know it now; tell it me this minute, or
you must never expect to see me better under such uncertainty.
What is the all, the frightful all, that I am to be told? How you have
shocked me with that little word!’ I know nothing, madam, answered
Ellen, but what I gathered from Sir George’s loud angry talk with my
lady; and I should be undone if her ladyship were to know I
mentioned it to you. I assured her my mother should not know it.
Why then, madam (speaking lower), I am afraid that Mr Faulkland
has misbehaved, or has been belied to my lady—She stopped at this
—How? how? cried I eagerly; What has she heard of him?
Something of another courtship, she replied; but I hope it is all false
—You trifle with me—speak out, and say all you know. The poor
creature started at my impatience: ‘I know no more, madam, than
that I heard my lady say to Sir George, I had rather Sidney were in
her grave, than married to him. Sir George said, But why will not you
not let Mr Faulkland justify himself, madam? Justify himself! my lady
answered; What can he say? Is it not plain that he is false to
another woman? They talked lower; but at last Sir George raised his
voice, and said, he would give half his estate to have the villain
punished—All this, madam, I over-heard by mere accident. Sir
George was going abroad; his linen was lying ready for him in his
dressing-room; and his man desired me to put a stitch in one of his
master’s point ruffles which was a little ripped in the gathering. I had
come up the back stairs into the dressing-room, just as my lady
(who was with Sir George in the bed-chamber) said the words I first
repeated; and while I stood doing the ruffle, I heard the rest. There
was a great deal more said, but I could not distinguish any thing
besides, except a word here and there, which Sir George seemed to
speak in a very angry tone. This was the second day of your illness.
Mr Faulkland had been here in the morning to enquire how you did;
my lady saw him, and I thought they parted very friendly. I met Mr
Faulkland coming down stairs; he looked full of grief; my lady stood
at the dining-room door, and wished him a good morning. About an
hour after came a letter directed to you; it was brought by a porter,
who said it required no answer. As you were too ill to read it, I gave
it to my lady; and it was soon after this, that I heard the
conversation between Sir George and her ladyship. Mr Faulkland
came again in the evening. Sir George was not at home; but my lady
had him above an hour in the drawing-room; and the footman, who
let him out, said, he looked as if he were in sad trouble. He has
never been here since, but sends constantly every day to know how
you do. My lady ordered me, if any letters came for you, to deliver
them to her. And has there any come to me? No madam; word was
always sent to Mr Faulkland of your being so ill, that to be sure he
thought it would be in vain for him to write to you.’
This was all I could gather from the maid. What a night did I pass? I
scarce closed my eyes. Ellen lay in a field-bed by me; she had
watched several nights, and I obliged her now to undress and go
into bed. She slept soundly; how I envied her tranquility! If I forgot
myself for a few minutes, my slumbers were distracted, and I started
at the recollection of what I had already heard, and the dread of
what I had still to hear. Mr Faulkland absenting himself from the
house so long; my mother wishing me in the grave, rather than be
his wife; my brother denouncing vengeance on the villain! These
were the terrible ideas that haunted me till morning. What can he
have done, I cried aloud several times? I summoned to my aid all
the fortitude I was mistress of, and resolved not to sink under the
calamity, be it of what nature it would.
My mother, ever kind and tender, came early the next morning into
my room. She enquired after my health, and looked as if she pitied
me. I was ready to cry at her compassionate glances; they mortified
me, but I was determined not to let her perceive it. I told her I was
much better; and, what is surprizing, I was really so,
notwithstanding the uneasy state of my mind. She talked of
indifferent things, and said, she hoped I should soon be able to go
into the country for a few days, to recover a little strength. I
answered, I hope so too, madam. We were both silent for a while;
my mother had her indulgent eyes fixed upon me; mine were cast
down: at last I resolved to speak out. Madam, said I, looking
steadfastly at her, what is the cause of your coldness towards Mr
Faulkland? ’Tis in vain for you to hide it longer; you say he is well,
and gone out of town. If he has shewn any slight towards me, tell
me so at once; and do not entertain so mean an opinion of your
daughter, as to suppose she cannot bear the news. Your tenderness,
I see, would conceal something from me; but believe me, madam, I
am prepared for the worst.
My dear, replied my mother, it gives me great pleasure to hear you
say so. I pray God preserve my child, and grant her a better lot than
she could hope for in a union with Mr Faulkland. What has he done,
madam? My dearest Sidney, she answered, this is the first trial you
have ever had of your patience; but I have no doubt that your
goodness and discretion will teach you to act as becomes your
character.
I did not intend to have spoken to you on the subject, till you were
better able to bear the knowlege of what I am going to acquaint you
with; but your prudence, I think, makes you equal to every thing;
and I hope your health will not be endangered by the discovery of
Mr Faulkland’s baseness. (What a dreadful preface!)
The day after you were taken ill, a letter, directed to you, was
brought hither by a porter, which your maid (very discretely)
delivered to me. As you were not in a condition to read it yourself, I
thought proper to open it. The cover contained a few lines
addressed to you; and in it was inclosed a letter directed to Mr
Faulkland. Good God, added she, taking the papers out of her
pocket, how little reliance ought we to have on a fair outside!
Here are the letters; read what is in the cover first. I did so; it was ill
writ, and worse spelt. These were the contents:
Madam,
I hear you are soon to be married to Mr Faulkland; but as I
think it a great pity that so virtuous a young lady should be
thrown away, this is to inform you, that he does not deserve
you.
The inclosed letter, wrote to him by a fine and beautiful young
lady that he decoyed, shews you how false he is. When you tax
him with it, he will know from whence you got your information;
but let him deny it if he can.
I am, madam,
Your unknown friend,
and humble servant.
The letter to Mr Faulkland, in a very pretty female hand, and the
date but a week old (from the time it was sent to me) was as
follows:
“Oh! Mr Faulkland, I am the most unfortunate woman in the
world! Fatal have you been to me, and I am undone for ever—I
was in hopes that our mutual fault might have been concealed;
for, while we staid at Bath, I kept my aunt intirely ignorant of
what passed between us, though she often pressed me to
confess the truth; but it can now no longer be concealed. I am
but too sensibly reminded of the unhappy consequences of my
own weakness, and your ungoverned (would I could call it)
love. I never meant to trouble you with complaints; but my
present condition calls loudly for your compassion. Are you then
really going to be married? There wants but this to complete my
destruction! Oh! Sir, before it is too late, take pity on me! I dare
not continue in the house with my uncle much longer. My aunt
says, that, when my affliction becomes so conspicuous as not to
be any longer hid, she will form a pretence, on account of my
health, for me to be absent for some months, under colour of
going to Bath, or to London, for better advice than I can have
here. But what will this avail me? I have no relations, no friends,
nor acquaintance, that I can trust with the secret of my
miserable situation. To whom then can I fly, but to you, the
cause of all my sorrow? I beseech you, for Heaven’s sake, write
to me, and tell me, if indeed you are going to give your self
away for ever! If you are, your intended bride, perhaps, may
have no other advantage of me, but what you in an evil hour
deprived me of. Write to me, dear, though cruel as you are; and
think of some place of refuge for your unhappy
A.B.”
When I had read these letters, my mother asked me, What I thought
of Mr Faulkland? Indeed, I was so astonished, that I scarce knew
what answer to make; but replied, Madam, are you satisfied that this
letter is not forged, with a design to injure Mr Faulkland? Ah! my
dear said she, I am sorry you strive to catch at so slender a twig;
you may be sure I am but too well convinced that the letter is
genuine, or you should never have had a moment’s uneasiness by
the knowlege of it. Mr Faulkland himself does not deny it, and it is
with his permission that I kept it. I promised to return it, but desired
leave to retain it for a few days. He could not refuse me this, though
he might easily imagine I designed to shew it to you. That, indeed,
was my intention, when I desired to keep it a little while in my
hands, and I did so, that I might have your judgment on the letter
itself, as well as fully to justify my own proceedings in what I have
done. Ah! dear madam, cry’d I, scarce knowing what I said, I rely on
your maternal goodness; I am sure you have done what is proper.
Yet has Mr Faulkland nothing to say for himself?—But I will ask no
more questions—I know too much already—My love, said my
mother, you have a right to know every thing relative to this affair.
I shewed the letters to your brother, as soon as I received them. Sir
George at first seemed quite confounded, but afterwards, to my very
great surprize, he smiled, and said, he knew of that foolish business
before. I asked him, if he knew of it before, how he could answer it
to his honour, his conscience, or the love he ought to bear his sister,
not to divulge it immediately? Why, said he, I assure you it is a trivial
affair, that ought not to make you uneasy.
What, George! I answered I, a trivial matter for a man to ruin a fine
young lady, forsake her, and dare to involve an innocent creature in
his crimes! Do you call this a trivial affair? If you knew the
circumstances, said he, you would not view it in so disadvantageous
a light. Faulkland certainly gained the affections of a young lady,
though without seeking to do so; he never courted her, never
attempted to please her, much less to win her heart, and least of all
to ruin her virtue. I know that is an action he is not capable of
committing. How comes it to pass then that he did so, said I,
interrupting him? Why, the girl was silly, and she was thrown in his
way by a vile designing woman that had the care of her, ‘And was he
(again stopping him) to take advantage of her folly, and join with
that vile designing woman, to destroy a poor young creature’s
honour?’ The best men, said he confidently, may fall into an error;
and if you expect to find a man entirely free from them, you look for
what is not possible in human nature.
I may expect to find a man without flagrant crimes to answer for, I
hope; and I believe I spoke it with warmth. Do you call this one,
madam, said he, with still more assurance? I hope Sidney will not be
such a chit as to think in this manner, when she comes to hear the
affair explained. I really grew down-right angry, and could not
forbear saying, I would rather see you married to your grave than to
such a man. Your brother then begged I would hear Mr Faulkland
justified, and be a little cool till that was done. I told him there was a
terrible fact alleged, of which I could not conceive it possible for him
to acquit himself.
George said, he had a letter to shew me on the subject, which he
had received from Mr Faulkland while he was at Bath, and which he
was sure would convince me, that the whole affair was so trifling, it
ought by no means to be objected to Mr Faulkland, nor, in his
opinion, even mentioned to him.
I told him I was sorry to find that he and I thought so differently; for
that I was determined to speak to Mr Faulkland immediately about
it, and, if he could not satisfy me intirely on the score of the injured
lady, that he must never think of Sidney more.
Your brother said, that the letter which was sent to you had come
from the revengeful dog who had robbed his master, and that he
would give half his estate to have the villain punished as he
deserved. Mr Faulkland, it seems, had told him this himself. The
fellow found it in the pocket-book which he had taken out of the
escrutore, and his disappointment, perhaps, at not getting a better
booty, (for he found but twenty moidores besides), joined to his
malice against his master, incited him to make the use he did of this
letter. Now, continued my mother, though the fellow is undoubtedly
a vile creature, yet, my dear, I think we are obliged to him for this
discovery, providentially as it has come, to save you from what, in
my opinion, would be the worst of misfortunes.
The loss of this letter had alarmed Mr Faulkland so much, that he
put an advertisement into the papers next day, worded in so
particular a manner, as shewed how very fearful he was of that
letter’s coming to light; for, no doubt, he suspected the man might
make a dangerous use of it. The advertisement said, that if the
servant, who had absconded from his master’s house in St James’s
Square the night before, would restore the papers which he took
with him, they should be received without any questions being
asked, and a reward of twenty guineas paid to any person who
should bring them back. This advertisement, which, to be sure, the
fellow either did not see at all, or had not time enough to avail
himself of it, shews you to what sad resources people are driven,
who, having done unwarrantable actions, are often in the power of
the lowest wretches. I own this circumstance gave me a very ill
impression of Mr Faulkland. Your brother says, he remembers this
man was one of the servants he took with him to Bath, and, without
doubt, he knew of his amour. The advertisement has since been
changed, by Sir George’s advice. I find the man is named, his person
described, and a reward of fifty pounds offered for the apprehending
him; but I take it for granted he has got out of reach.
Though his little digression was very pertinent, I was impatient to
know what had passed between my mother and Mr Faulkland on the
fatal subject, and could not forbear asking her.
I shall tell you, said she, in order. Your brother and I had some
farther altercations; and indeed, my dear, it amazes me to find, that
a young man, educated as Sir George was, in the early part of life, in
the strictest principles of virtue, and the son of parents, who, thank
God, always gave him the best example, should have so far deviated
from the sober paths he was brought up in, as to treat the most
glaring vices with a levity that shocked me. But, I suppose, the
company he kept abroad, among whom this hypocrite Faulkland was
his chief, has quite perverted him. He gave me the letter to read,
which he had received from his friend whilst he was at Bath; and
which, he said, was to convince me that it was such a trifling affair,
that we ought not to take the least notice of it. And all his reason for
this was, truly, because that loose man treats the subject as lightly
as he does. I am afraid Sir George is no better than himself, or he
would not have ventured to make him the confidant of his wild
amours; and that at a time too when he was encouraged to address
you. He tells him of a very pretty young lady (innocent he says too)
that he got acquainted with, who came to Bath under the care of an
aunt and uncle; he talks some idle stuff of avoiding her, when he
found she liked him, and that the aunt (wicked woman!) contrived to
leave them together one evening, when, I understand, the poor
young creature fell into the snare that was prepared for her. For,
would you believe it, my dear, the monstrous libertine,
notwithstanding his pretences, owned that he had paid a price for
the girl to her aunt. The betrayed creature herself knew not of this.
I own I had not patience to read the letter through. To say the truth,
I but run my eye in a cursory manner over it; I was afraid of
meeting, at every line, something offensive to decency. And this was
the account, which, in your brother’s opinion, was entirely to
exculpate Mr Faulkland. I think I never was so angry. I threw the
letter to George with indignation, telling him, I was ashamed to find,
that he, after knowing an incident of this kind, had so little regard to
the honour of his sister, as to promote a marriage between her and
such a rake. He answered, if I kept you unmarried till I found such a
man as I should not call a rake, you were likely to live and die a
maid. That for his part, he was very sorry, as well for Mr Faulkland’s
sake as yours, he had ever proposed an union, which he found was
likely to be overthrown by unseasonable scruples. And the
gentleman, in a violent passion, flung out of the room, without
deigning even to take up the letter which had fallen on the floor.
I presume he went directly to his friend Faulkland, and told him all
that had passed; for the plausible man came to me in the evening,
and with looks, full of pretended sorrow, but real guilt, begged I
would hear him on the subject of a letter which he said he found
had unfortunately prejudiced me against him. To be sure he was
prepared, and had, with George’s help, contrived an artful story to
impose on me. He took me unawares; but I was resolved not to give
him the advantage of arguments, but proceed to ask him a few plain
questions. I therefore cut him short at once, by saying, Mr
Faulkland, I am extremely concerned and shocked at what has
happened; I will say but a few words to you, and desire to hear
nothing more than answers to my questions: he bowed, and
remained silent.
I then asked him, taking the young lady’s letter out of my pocket,
whether that was from the same person, of whom he had written an
account to my son whilst he was at Bath? He answered, It is,
madam; and I hoped from that letter, which I find Sir George has
shewn you, you would be induced to believe that I never formed a
thought of injuring that young lady, till some unfortunate
circumstances combined, and suddenly surprized me into the
commission of a fault that has made us both unhappy. Sir, said I, I
don’t pretend to know people’s hearts, I can only judge of them
from their actions. You acknowlege that she was a fine young
woman, and you believe innocent: What excuse can you offer for
being her destroyer? Dear madam, don’t use so severe an
expression—Sir, I can use no other: How can you extenuate the
fault, by which you merit so severe an appellation? To a lady of your
rigid delicacy, madam, said he, perhaps what youth could offer, in
extenuation of the fault, might appear but a weak plea: yet ’tis most
certain, that I was surprized into the fatal error: I am under no
promises, no ties, no engagements whatsoever to the lady. No ties,
Sir! (interrupting him) Is your own honour no tie upon you,
supposing you free from any other obligation? You see the
consequence of this fatal error, as you call it: here is a young person,
of fashion, perhaps (I don’t enquire who she is, but she seems to
have had no mean education), who is likely to bring a child into the
world, to the disgrace of herself and her family. On you, Sir, she
charges her dishonour, and mentions your marrying another, as the
blow which is to complete her ruin. Mr Faulkland, is not all this
truth? Be so good as to give me a direct answer. Madam, I cannot
deny it; you have the proof of it in your hands: from all that appears
to you, I am indeed very blameable; nay, I do not pretend to
vindicate my folly; but, Madam, do not aggravate my fault in your
own thoughts, by considering the affair in a more unfavourable light
than what even her letter puts it! I conjure you, madam, to suffer Sir
George to be my advocate on this occasion; he is acquainted with
every particular of the transaction, and can give you a detail that I
will not presume to do. Be pleased, Sir, replied I, to tell me what you
mean to do in regard to this lady? I mean to do all that I can do,
answered he; I shall provide a place of retreat for her, where she will
meet with the utmost care, tenderness, and respect; and where she
may continue with privacy till she is in a condition to return home
again to her friends. You may be sure, madam, as to the rest, I shall
acquit myself consistently with honour. That is as much as to say, Sir,
said I, that you will take care of the maintenance of your poor babe.
He looked as if he had a mind to smile, forward man! but
constrained it. Doubtless, madam, I shall do all that is now in my
power to do, in every circumstance relating to her.
I felt myself exceedingly displeased with him; I was so disappointed
in my opinion of him, that it increased my resentment. Sir, I
proceeded, I must inform you, that there is as much now in your
power as ever there was. You are still unmarried; the way is open to
you, to repair the mischief you have done: I will never bring down
the curses of an injured maid upon my daughter’s head, nor
purchase her worldly prosperity at the expence of the shame and
sorrow of another woman, for ought I know, as well born, as
tenderly bred, and, till she knew you, perhaps as innocent as herself.
For heaven’s sake, madam! he cry’d, don’t, don’t, I beseech you,
pronounce my fate so hastily—You must pardon me, Sir, said I, if I
beg to hear no more on this subject. Sir George has already said
every thing you could expect of your friend to say in your
justification, and more than became him to utter. All I can find by
either you or him, is, that you think the loss of honour to a young
woman is a trifle, which a man is not obliged to repair, because truly
he did not promise to do so. This young creature, I understand, is a
gentlewoman, very charming in her person, by your own account;
one who loves you tenderly, and will shortly make you a father. Is
not all this so? I grant it madam, said the criminal. Then, Sir, what
reason can you urge in your conscience for not doing her justice?
None—but your own inconstant inclinations, which happen now to
be better pleased with another woman, whom, perhaps, you might
forsake in a few months.
I cannot pretend to repeat to you all he said upon this last article:
worse of course, you may be sure. He intreated, over and over
again, that I would permit Sir George to plead for him. I told him,
that after the facts he had granted, it was impossible that either he
or Sir George could make the affair better; that I was very sorry to
find myself disappointed in a person of whom I had conceived so
high an opinion; and added, that as your illness made it very
improper to let you know any thing of the matter for the present, I
should take it as a favour if he would permit me to retain the lady’s
letter to him for a few days, or till you were in a condition to have
the matter broke to you. In the mean while, I requested that he
would dispense with my receiving any more visits from him.
He said some frantic things (for the man seems of a violent temper);
but finding me peremptory, took his leave with respect.
I understand from Sir George, that he flew directly down to
Richmond, to a little house he has there, where he has remained
ever since; but sends every day to enquire after your health. Sir
George, I am sure, sees him often; for he frequently goes out early
in the morning, and stays abroad till night. The increase of your
illness, from the time I received the last visit from Mr Faulkland, to
such a degree as to alarm us for your life, I suppose, prevented your
brother from reassuming the subject; though I can perceive he is full
of anger and vexation on the occasion. You are now, my dear, God
be praised, in a hopeful way of recovery, and I expect that George
(who has, by espousing this man’s interests so warmly, very much
offended me), that George, I say, will renew his sollicitations in his
favour. What do you say, my child? I should be glad to know your
thoughts, with regard to the part I have acted, as well as with
respect to Mr Faulkland’s conduct.
Shall I own my weakness to you, my dear Cecilia? I was ready to
melt into tears; my spirits, exhausted by sickness, were not proof
against this unexpected blow; a heavy sigh burst from my heart,
that gave me a little relief. You know my mother is rigid in her
notions of virtue; and I was determined to shew her that I would
endeavour to imitate her. I therefore suppressed the swelling
passion in my breast, and, with as much composure as I could
assume, told her, I thought she acted as became her; and that, with
regard to Mr Faulkland, my opinion of his conduct was such, that I
never desired to see him more. This answer, dictated perhaps by
female pride (for I will not answer for the feelings of my heart at
that instant), was so agreeable to my mother, that she threw her
arms about my neck, and kissed me several times; blessing, and
calling me by the most endearing names at every interval. Her
tenderness overcame me; or, to deal with sincerity, I believe I was
willing to make it an excuse for weeping. Oh! my dear mother, cry’d
I, I have need of your indulgence; but indeed your goodness quite
overpowers me. My dear love, said she, you deserve it all, and more
than it is in your mother’s power to shew you. What a blessed
escape have you had, my sweet child, of that wild man! Little did I
think, my Sidney, when I told you the story of my first
disappointment, that a case so parallel would soon be your own.
With respect to you and me indeed, the incidents are nearly alike;
but there is a wide difference between the two men. My lover had
the grace to repent, and would have returned to his first
engagements, if a dreadful malady had not overtaken him; but this
graceless Faulkland persists in his infidelity, and would make you as
culpable as himself. I own to you, daughter, that the recollection of
that melancholy event which happened to me, has given me a sort
of horror at the very thoughts of a union between you and Mr
Faulkland. You remember the sad consequences which I related to
you of an infidelity of this kind; the poor forsaken woman died of
grief, and the dishonest lover ran mad. Think of this, my child, and
let it encourage you to banish such an unworthy man from your
heart. I was afraid your regard for him might make this a difficult
task; but I rejoice to find your virtue is stronger than your passion. I
loved as well as you, but I overcame it when I found it a duty to do
so; and I see your mother’s example is not lost upon you.
The honest pride that my mother endeavoured to inspire me with,
had a good effect, and kept up my spirits for a time. She told me,
she was sure that Sir George would quarrel with us both, when we
came to talk upon the subject of the marriage; but she was entirely
easy as to that, now she knew that my sentiments corresponded
with her own.
You know my mother has ever been despotic in her government of
me; and had I even been inclined to dissent from her judgment in a
matter of this importance, it would have been to no purpose; but
this was really far from my thoughts.
I was as much disgusted with Mr Faulkland as she was, and as
heartily pitied the unhappy young creature whom he had undone.
You may recollect, my dear, that my mother, tho’ strictly nice in
every particular, has a sort of partiality to her own sex, and where
there is the least room for it, throws the whole of the blame upon
the man’s side; who, from her own early prepossessions, she is
always inclined to think are deceivers of women. I am not surprized
at this bias in her; her early disappointment, with the attending
circumstances, gave her this impression. She is warm, and
sometimes sudden, in her attachments; and yet it is not always
difficult to turn her from them. The integrity of her own heart makes
her liable to be imposed on by a plausible outside; and yet the dear
good woman takes a sort of pride in her sagacity. She had admired
and esteemed Mr Faulkland prodigiously; her vexation was the
greater, in finding her expectations disappointed; and could I have
been so unjust to the pretensions of another, or so indelicate in
regard to myself, as to have overlooked Mr Faulkland’s fault, I knew
my mother would be inflexible. I therefore resolved in earnest to
banish him from my thoughts. I found my mother was mightily
pleased with her own management of the conversation she had held
with Mr Faulkland. I think I talked pretty roundly to him, said she;
but there was no other way; he is an artful man, and I was resolved
not to let him wind me about. He would make a merit of having
formed no designs upon the young lady; why, possibly, he did not,
till he found the poor soul was so smitten with him, that he thought
she would be an easy prey. Sir George impudently insinuated, that a
man must not reject a lady upon these occasions. I was ashamed to
hint to Mr Faulkland at the circumstance of his having actually paid a
price for the girl; it was too gross; and I think, had I mentioned it,
must have struck him dumb: though very likely he might have had
some subterfuge, even for that aggravating part of the story.
How I am shock’d, my Cecilia, to think of this! I was glad my mother
had spared his confusion on this particular; for though probably, as
she observed, he had come prepared with some evasion to this
charge, yet what a mean figure must a man make, who is reduced
to disingenuous shifts, to excuse or palliate an action, despicable as
well as wicked!
My brother came in, during our discourse, to ask me how I did. My
mother answered his question before I had time to speak. She is
pretty well, thank God! and not likely to break her heart, though she
knows your friend Mr Faulkland’s story (and she spoke it scornfully).
My brother said, Sidney, Are you as averse to Mr Faulkland as my
mother is? I replied, Brother, I wonder you can ask me that
question, after what you have been just now told. I always said,
answered he, that you did not know the value of the man, and now
I am convinced of it. I wish he had never seen you! I wish so too,
said I. Sir George walked about the room, and seemed vexed to
death. For Heaven’s sake, madam, (turning to my mother) now my
sister is tolerably recovered, suffer her to see Mr Faulkland; let her
hear what he has to say in his own vindication: I think you may trust
to her honour, and her discretion; and if the affair appears to her in
so heinous a light as it does to you, I will be contented to give Mr
Faulkland up; but don’t shut your own ears, and your daughter’s too,
against conviction.
Sir, you are disrespectful, said my mother angrily. Dear brother, I
cry’d, I beg you will spare me on this subject; my mother has given
me leave to judge for myself; she has repeated all that you have
said, and all that Mr Faulkland has been able to urge on the
occasion; and I am sorry to tell you, that I think myself bound never
to have any farther correspondence with him; therefore you must
excuse me for not seeing him. And so the match is broke off, cry’d
Sir George. It is, said my mother peremptorily. It is, echoed I faintly.
Why then, replied Sir George (and he swore), you will never get
such another whilst you live. A pretty figure you’ll make in the world,
when you give it for a reason that you refused such a man, after
every thing was concluded upon, because truly you found that he
had had an intrigue! Why, Sidney, you’ll be so laugh’d at! He
addressed himself to me, though I knew he meant the reproof for
my mother. Sir, answered she, neither your sister nor I shall trouble
ourselves much about the opinion of people who can laugh at such
things. You may put the matter into as ridiculous a light as you
please: but this was no common intrigue; you know it was not,
however you may affect to speak of it. I don’t suppose any of you
are Saints, but I trust in Heaven, some are better than others. Oh!
madam, madam, said my brother, if you knew the world as well I do,
you would think that Mr Faulkland is one of the best. God forbid! my
mother answered coolly. Well, well, madam, cry’d Sir George, I see it
is to no purpose to argue; there are many families of more
consequence than ours, and ten times the fortune, that will be very
proud of Faulkland’s alliance; and will hardly make it an objection to
him, that he was led into a foolish scrape by the wickedness of one
woman, and the folly of another. If you make my sister wait for a
husband, till you find a man who never offended in that way, I think,
mother, you had better take a little boy from his nurse, breed him up
under your own eye, and by the time Sidney is a good motherly
gentlewoman, you may give her the baby to make a play-thing of.
For my own part, I am heartily sorry I ever interfered.—People of
such nice scruples had better chuse for themselves; but I cannot
help thinking, that both Faulkland and I are very ill used. I told you
(said my mother to me) how he would behave. Sir George, I desire
you will not distress your sister thus (She saw me sadly cast down: I
was ill and weak): if you have no respect for me, have a little
tenderness for her.—I beg your pardon, child, said he, I did not
mean to distress you, I pity you, indeed Sidney. I could have cry’d at
his using that expression, it humbles one so. Madam (to my
mother), you shall be troubled no farther by my friend or myself; all
I shall say is this, that whenever my sister gets a husband of your
ladyship’s chusing, I wish he may have half the worth of the poor
rejected Faulkland.
My brother left the room with these words. My mother was
downright in a passion, but soon cooled on his withdrawing.
My spirits were quite fatigued; and my mother left me, that I might
take a little rest.
What a strange alteration have a few days produced! our domestic
peace broke in upon by the unlucky difference between my mother
and my brother. My near prospect of—of—oh! let me be ingenuous,
and say Happiness, vanished—Poor Mr Faulkland! Poor do I call him?
for shame, Sidney—but let the word go; I will not blot it. Mr
Faulkland forbid the house, myself harassed by a cruel disorder, and
hardly able to crawl out of bed. All this fallen on me within these last
fourteen black days. Then I dread the going abroad, or seeing
company, I shall look so silly; for the intended wedding began to be
talked of;—and the curiosity of people to know the cause of it’s
being broke off—What wild guesses will be made by some, and what
lies invented by others! Then the ill-natured mirth of one half of the
girls of my acquaintance, and the as provoking condolements of the
other hand—I am fretted at the thoughts of it—but it cannot be
helped; I must bear it all—I wish I were well enough to get into the
country, to be out of the reach of such impertinence.
I long to know who this ill-fated girl is, that has been the cause of all
this. A gentlewoman, and very pretty; one that loves Mr Faulkland,
and will shortly make him a parent. Thus my mother described her
to Mr Faulkland, and he assented to it. Oh! fie, fie, Mr Faulkland,
how could you be so cruel to her? How could you use me so ill? and
Sir George knew of all this, and makes light of it! it is a strange
story! My mother is severe in her virtue, but she is in the right—My
brother would sacrifice every consideration to aggrandize his family
—To make a purchase of the unhappy creature, and that without her
knowlege too, it is horrid! Away, away from my thoughts, thou vile
intruder—Return to your Bath mistress, she has a better right to you
than I have; she implores your pity; she has no refuge but you; and
she may be every way preferable to me—I wish I knew her name,
but what is it to me; mine will never be Faulkland, hers ought.
Perhaps Mr Faulkland may be induced to marry her, when he sees
her in her present interesting situation. He says he will provide a
retreat for her; to be sure he will have the compassion to visit her:
and then who knows what may happen? If I know my own heart, I
think I do most sincerely wish he may make her his wife; but then I
would not chuse to have it known suddenly; that might look as if he
forsook me for her. That, I own, would a little hurt my pride. I wish
not the truth to be known, for Mr Faulkland’s sake; but then I should
not like to have a slur thrown on me.
I will add no more to this, but send the packet off at all events; I
think it will find you at Paris.
August 1
My health promises to return: my mother praises me, and calls me a
Heroine. I begin to fancy myself one: our pride sometimes stands in
the place of virtue.
Sir George went to Richmond yesterday. We have scarce seen him
since the tift he had with us the other day. What strange creatures
these men are, even the best of them! and how light they make of
faults in one another, that shock us but to think of!
My mother takes his behaviour very ill: he staid all night with his
friend, and returned to town this morning: he only looked into my
room, to ask me how I did: my mother was sitting with me. I believe
that hindered him from coming in; for he looked as if he wanted to
speak to me. He bowed to my mother, but said not a word; he went
abroad again as soon as he was dressed, and did not come in till
late. I fear his conduct will oblige us to separate; for my mother will
not brook any liberties to be taken with her: she hinted as much,
and said she believed Sir George was tired of living regularly.
She anticipated the request I intended to make to her, of letting me
go out of town; for she said, as soon as I was able, I should remove
into the country for a while. Sidney Castle is too long a journey for
me at present to think of undertaking, and she talks of going into
Essex, on a visit to Lady Grimston, which we have long promised
her. I shall like this better than going down to Wiltshire, where the
want of my Cecilia would make my old abode a melancholy place,
especially at this juncture.
August 4
Sir George continues sullen and cold to us: he never has had an
opportunity of saying any thing particular to me since the day he
said so much. My mother scarce ever leaves me; he seems nettled
at this. I believe he would endeavour to work on me, as he knows
the attempt would be vain in regard to her. As I am now well
enough to receive the visits of our intimate acquaintance, I am
never without company. I am really in pretty good spirits, and bear
my disappointment (as I told you I would) very handsomely. I never
hear Mr Faulkland’s name mentioned, no more than if such a man
did not exist. We are to set out for lady Grimston’s house on
Tuesday; it is but twenty miles from London; and I am already
strong enough to bear a longer journey.
My mother told Sir George, that if he liked it, the house we are now
in was at his service during her time of it, of which there are some
months to come; for she said, she meant to go directly home from
Essex. Sir George thanked her, but did not say whether he would
accept of her offer or not.
August 5
I have been obliged to turn away my poor Ellen. She was so
imprudent as to receive a letter for me from Mr Faulkland’s man,
contrary to my mother’s express commands. She brought it to me,
and I gave it to my mother unopened; who put it directly into the
fire without reading it, and told me it would oblige her, if I would
part with the servant who had presumed to take it after her
prohibition. I instantly obeyed, and have just discharged her. I
should have a sad loss of her, only I am in hopes of having her place
well supplied by an old acquaintance and play-fellow of ours, poor
Patty Main; her father is dead, and she is obliged to go to service,
for he has left a widow with six children. The eldest son, you
remember, served his time to his father, and is just now setting out
in business; but a young surgeon in a country town must take some
time to establish himself; though he is a very worthy youth, and I
hear clever in his profession.
Patty came to town last week with a lady from our neighbourhood,
who applied to my mother to recommend the girl to wait on some
person of fashion. My mother has been looking out for a suitable
place for her; but she told me today, she thought I could not do
better than take her to myself; I shall be very glad to have her, for
she is an amiable young woman.
August 6
We go out of town at seven o’clock to-morrow morning, as we are to
dine at Grimston-hall, and purpose going at our leisure. I will steal a
few minutes from sleep, though it is now very late, to give you a
short scene which passed in my chamber about an hour ago.
Sir George (who, according to his late custom, had been abroad all
day) came into my room, where my mother and I were sitting
together. He asked us, Did we hold our purpose of going out of town
next day? Yes, certainly, my mother said. And you intend going from
lady Grimston’s to Sidney Castle? We do. Then, madam (to my
mother), as it is the last trouble you are likely to have from Mr
Faulkland, I hope you will not refuse to read this letter, which he has
sent you; and he took one out of his pocket, and presented it to her.
She did not make an offer to receive it, but answered, Sir George, it
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