Wright Enneagram Handbook

NAME
Understanding People & What Makes Them Tick
THE ENNEAGRAM HANDBOOK

An Overview of the Nine Personality Types
By Chris Wright
[email protected] http://www.pulsarnet.com/cw
3207 Allen Street, #303 Falls Church, Virginia 22042 (703) 645-2002 Copyright 1998
Chris Wright
Understanding People & What Makes Them Tick
THE ENNEAGRAM HANDBOOK

A Handbook for everyday use
By Chris Wright
Chris Wright & Associates

3207 Allen Street, #303 Falls Church, Virginia 22042 (703) 645-2002
Copyright 1998.
Page 1
INTRODUCTION
WHAT IS THE ENNEAGRAM?
The Enneagram is an ancient system that describes nine basic types of people. For each of the nine types it provides a uniquely detailed, coherent picture of the whole personality. The Enneagram, however, does not merely describe characteristics, tendencies, and preferences. Rather, its goal is to unveil the underlying motivation. It invites us to look at our core motivations that structure our entire personality and our approach to life. These hidden motivational patterns are often unconscious. Yet they act as the driving, patterned force that determines every aspect of our personality. Each of the nine types represents a person's unique strength and gifts in the expression of human qualities. However, as you'll see, your strengths can also constrict you in areas, becoming blinders and burdens. Also, under stress these unconscious motivational patterns can become dysfunctional defense mechanisms, creating tension in others, and unnecessary conflict. As we recognize these deep-rooted patterns, we begin to understand how predictable our reactions are, and how we can begin to balance these tendencies in healthier ways.
WHAT CAN THE ENNEAGRAM DO FOR YOU?

Learning about the Enneagram personality types in your life will help you understand:

Your unique strengths and natural gifts, and those of each person in your life. That people, indeed, are inherently different. And that each type's view of reality is equally as valid. How each of you communicates and what each doesn't communicate (and why). The significant blind spots in individuals, couples, families, and organizations. The interpersonal dynamics in your relationships.
Extraordinarily precise and detailed, the Enneagram will provide you with a comprehensive understanding of your self. It enables you to finally see yourself objectively, as others see and experience you. And now understand why you are that way. You'll also be able to understand how others see themselves. The insights will be profound, revealing you, and others, at their core. Yet it is such a simple system and easy framework to learn. The insights the Enneagram provide result in increased understanding, tolerance, and validation of other viewpoints. You will find it important in coupleships, families, with friends, and at work. It fosters positive attitudes toward diversity. It also allows us to see and challenge the hidden perceptual distortions and biases that can cloud our lives. Identifying your Enneagram personality type -- your strengths and deep-seated defenses is an awakening. The potential for awareness and healthy growth is tremendous. Recognition can also be uncomfortable as these personality defenses also reveal how you respond to inner stress and emotional pain.
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UNDERSTANDING WHAT MAKES PEOPLE TICK
ABOUT THESE SUMMARIES
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This handbook is a brief summary and quick reference guide to be used in applying the Enneagram system. It gives you ready reminders of the key dynamics and characteristics of each of the nine personality types. We recommend, however, that you use the annotated bibliography at the end of the handbook to further your reading and study of the different types (particularly your own!). These books will provide a fuller, more comprehensive analysis that will be useful in working with the system.
BEFORE STARTING
As you will see in the following descriptions, each Enneagram type tends to express certain qualities, characteristics, and typical behaviors. Remember, as you read through each of the types, however, to look past these qualities to the underlying motivating force that determines the pattern. The different types can share similar personality characteristics, yet they will have different motivations or agendas for why they express themselves that way. It is the deeperrooted need that determines your type, not merely the characteristics. Also, note that a person may not have all of the tendencies listed in the descriptions. The characteristics are simply tendencies that may or may not show up in a person. But all persons of that type do share the same underlying need that produces those qualities. So it is the deeper level of motivation that you must seek. Revealing motivation -- especially unconscious motivation -- is the goal of the Enneagram. It will explain the mysterious pieces of the puzzle of human nature so that you can readily understand what really makes people tick. Each person is one type. Your particular type is not something that you learned growing up. You were born that way. That is why your bothers and sisters are usually different types, even though they were exposed to the same family system. And you do not ever change types as you grow older. Even enlightened saints and self-actualized people express their divinity through the patterned prism of their type. There are no standard names for each of the nine types. They are simply numbered One through Nine and referred to by their number. So you refer to yourself as a Two, or one of the nine numbers. And there is no better or worse Enneagram type. They simply represent nine different ways of experiencing life - nine different realities. Each one is as valid and deserving of honor as the next. So how do you discover which type you are?
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I. Emotional, Mental, or Visceral?

In discerning one's type, first note that the nine Enneagram types cluster into three triads according to the primary source of their natural energy (see circle diagram on page 4): 2's, 3's, & 4's 5's, 6's, & 7's 8's, 9' s, & 1's Come from Heart energy. Come from Head energy: They are emotionally-based people They are mental-based people
Visceral or Survival energy: They are strong will-based people (or aggression-based)
Interestingly, the middle number of each of the triads ( the 3's, 6's, and 9's) repress those primary energies. Three's are emotional people who repress and avoid their feelings. Sixes are mental people who doubt their own knowingness. And Nine's repress aggression so thoroughly there seems to be no aggression in them -- they are laid-back, easy-going types who avoid conflict. In each case, their life-long task is to fully integrate those energies within their personality: Threes need to get in touch with their feelings. Sixes need to trust themselves and the outer world. And Nines need to access their aggression and potency.
II. Wings
The second point to note in discerning your type is discovering the effects of your "wings" and "lines." Even though you are only one type, you may have influences from other numbers that can greatly modify the tendencies of your type. There are two ways these influences are possible. The first are called wings. Your wings refer to the Enneagram number preceding your type and the number that follows your type. For example, a Five has a Four wing preceding it and a Six wing following it (see diagram on page four). If you have a "strong wing," that means that the tendencies or qualities of that wing show up strongly in your Enneagram type. You can have strong influences from one wing, both wings on each side, or be influenced by neither wing. You can think of each Enneagram type as being a different color lens upon which you experience life. Two's see life through a yellow lens, Three's have red lens, Fours have purple lens, and so forth. If you are a Three with a strong Two wing, your red lens will have some yellow tint or Two qualities in it, thereby modifying your "Three-ness." You could also have some of Four's purple energies or tendencies showing up in your personality. Or you, may simply be pure red in your filter, with no influences from either of your wings.
III. Lines
The other influence comes from your lines. Each Enneagram type has two separate lines that connect to two additional Enneagram types (see diagram). So, for example, the Eight has a line that goes to Two and a line that goes to Five. If you have a "strong line," that means that you have tendencies from that number affecting your personality, just like the wings. Eights with a strong line to Two will find more qualities and sensitivities of the Two showing up in their personality. A strong line to Five would mean that certain Five qualities are strong in the
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Eight's personality. You can have one of the lines be strong, both lines be strong, or neither of them strong in influencing your personality. A strong wing or line will have a major impact on the qualities and tendencies of each of the types. So as you read through each Enneagram to discover which type applies to you and others in your life, notice also which of the wings or lines show up strongly and how they modify the personality.
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IV. Range from Healthy to Unhealthy

In each Enneagram type there is a range from Healthy to Unhealthy. The healthy person is more integrated, with less of the dysfunctional attitudes & behaviors. At the other end of the spectrum is the unhealthy person whose Enneagram qualities reflect more inner stress and pain. Most of us fall somewhere in between. Gaining awareness of these dynamics can help us develop the healthy side of our personalities.
THE BEST WAY TO BEGIN

The most effective way to learn the Enneagram is to apply the system to the people in your life -- to be able to put a number to a face. That is, try to figure out which Enneagram type might apply for the important people in your life. The next page has a diagram and chart you can use. Make a list down the side of the page of the significant people in your personal and work life. Then as you read each description, speculate as to which of the people on your list that type might apply. When you finish reviewing each of the nine types, look over your list and fine tune your estimations, remembering to consider the strength of the wings and the lines.
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Enneagram Types of the People In Your Life
List your family members, friends, co-workers, supervisors, employees . . .
Name
Possible Enneagrams
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EMOTIONAL TYPES
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TYPE TWO - The Giver:
The need to be Needed Helpful, kind, socially skilled, compassionate, hard working and nice. Key Issues: Indispensability, subservient, co-dependent. Concerns: People-pleaser, do-goodism, give in order to get, unaware of own needs.
TYPE THREE - The Achiever:
The need to Succeed Versatile, highly motivated, hard-working, efficient, people-oriented, and smooth. Key Issues: Getting ahead; goal/image orientation; likes attention, strokes, praise. Concerns: Tendency to overwork, over compete; chameleon, deceit, smoothness.
TYPE FOUR - The Individualist:
The need to be Special Creative, dramatic, intense, sensitive, imaginative, passionate, likes being special. Key Issues: Values authenticity, meaning, passion; strong personal style & appearance. Concerns: Overly sensitive, overly dramatic, envious, not satisfied in the present.
MENTAL TYPES
TYPE FIVE - The Observer: The need to Understand & for Personal Space
Objective, knowledgeable, perceptive, analytical. Observer. Thinker. Calm in a crisis. Key Issues: Seeks information; needs independence, privacy. Concerns: Tendency to intellectualize; detached, not so people oriented or nurturing.
TYPE SIX - Mr./Ms. Responsible:
The need for Trust/Security/Certainty Reliable, hardworking, loyal, caring, trooper. Detail-oriented. Structured outlook. Key Issues: Trust. Fear. Need for structure. Loyal supporter. Security. Goes "by the book." Concerns: Controlling, tendency to distrust, focus on the negative, indecisive, vacillate.
TYPE SEVEN - The Optimist:
The need to be Happy & Avoid Pain Fun-loving, energetic, imaginative, up-beat, charming, spontaneous, flexible, enthusiastic. Key Issues: Likes variety, stimulation, risk and adventure. Positive thinking. Concerns: Idealistic, schemers, restless, pollyanna, superficial, chatterbox.
VISCERAL, WILLFUL TYPES

TYPE EIGHT - The Confronter:
The need to Dominate Direct, powerful, assertive, decisive, reliable, earthy, self-sufficient, practical, dominant. Key Issues: Action-power-results orientation; comfortable with confrontation, challenges. Concerns: Inappropriately forceful or insensitive; fear of exposing vulnerability, lustful.
TYPE NINE - Mr./Ms. Easy Going:
The need for Peace and to go with the Flow Good-natured, open, stable, unpretentious, self-effacing, supportive and likable. Key Issues: Inaction; avoid unpleasantness & conflict; sees everyone's view, harmonizes. Concerns: Procrastination, neglectful of details; avoiding conflict and commitment.
TYPE ONE - The Perfectionist:
The need to do it Right Detail-oriented, orderly, reliable, principled, forthright, responsible and hardworking. Key Issues: High standards, creating order, self discipline, "doing things right." Concerns: Excessive detail orientation; tendency to be critical, judgmental, demanding, cold.
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The Perfectionist
The Need to Do It Right
Ones can also be very
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Ones tend to be very

orderly productive self-disciplined helpful efficient manicured life reliable honest ethical responsible dedicated rational
judgmental demanding obsessive dogmatic critical of everything overly serious over-controlled nit-picking righteous pushy tend to sermonize, preach, correct others
The search for order & perfection rules their lives.

Gifts: Idealism. Precision. Details. High standards Do things 100% right Pitfall: Criticality. Hard time accepting errors and imperfections. Nit-pick details. Corrective orientation. Others sense judgments and criticism. Ones are not aware of their underlying aggression. Irrational striving for order and "doing it right" at the expense of pleasure.
"I love making every detail perfect. I usually notice right away when something's out of place." "I like to be organized and for things to be orderly." "I see myself as being reasonable, practical, and helpful. Others may interpret me as critical." "I tend to see things in terms of right and wrong, good and bad." "I don't like it when people break rules, slack off, or do a poor job." "You might now realize it, but I tend to be very hard on myself." "I'm usually careful how I spend money." Ones are idealists who are honest, objective, and very reliable. They are often gifted leaders who can push others to work and grow beyond themselves. They experience themselves as good role models in life, and secretly wonder why others don't try as hard as they do to do things right. For Ones are driven by a deep longing for precise order and perfection. They feel compelled to do everything right. In fact, theyre not able to relax until everything is done right. For disorder and chaos creates inner angst in Ones -- tension that compels them to correct it. They love order. They are constantly scanning all the details around them for anything that could threaten their world of order. They seem to notice everything -- which can be a gift, and a burden. Coming from the Aggression Triad, they are then propelled to correct every flaw or deficiency until it is made right. Ones are very hardworking, responsible, and dependable. However, they usually take things too seriously. They can be incredibly self-disciplined and accomplish a great deal. In fact, they typically feel burdened with too much responsibility. Even resentful that others don't carry their load so the One ends up with more work. They also secretly don't feel that others appreciate them enough for what they contribute to the job and do for people. Ones tend to be rule bound. There is a right way and a wrong way of doing everything. They are very perceptive and so clear about what they see that they are very confident that they know the right way. This can give them an uncompromising sense of moral superiority and righteousness with people. Their morals and expectations, however, tend to be highly personal, selective to particular areas important to them. They usually don't realize when they're being righteous or critical. Others see it in their tendency to sermonize, lecture, or talk down to people. Ones, on the other hand, see themselves as being attentive and helpful. ..........................................................................................
Copyright 1998. Page 8 The root sin for Ones is anger. Most One's, however, are unable to recognize the underlying aggression or unease that drives them to make their world perfect. Others, however, certainly can feel it and are usually put off by it. But Ones tend to be completely unaware of any inner anger and are surprised by other's reactions. This is their chief dilemma. Because Ones cannot permit being angry (anger would be imperfect), the inner stress or angst they hold inside can generate tremendous pressure. Ones will admit to carrying this pressure. It is a burden to them. Interestingly, at its core it is really self-criticism. For Ones are secretly very hard on themselves. To ease the pressure, however, Ones externalize this tension onto the environment. It shows up as criticism of everyone else, demandingness, compulsions (like orderliness or punctuality), controlling behaviors, obsessing on details, moral righteousness, discipline, and the need to "do it right" at the expense of enjoying pleasure in the process. For Ones, pleasure comes after everything is done and is perfect. Then we can relax. This is why Ones tend to withhold any praise and encouragement with others until a job or project is completed 100% and done perfectly. Ones tend to get incredible satisfaction when it's perfect or done right. They don't get a release of the inner pressure until every detail is complete. So it is difficult for the One to praise you for the part that you did accomplish or contribute if it is still not complete. For Ones, it's either done right or its not done. It's black and white. There is no, "It's good enough." What that really means is there will be more work left for the One to do. Illusion: Ones tend to believe that happiness is attained by changing others to what Ones believe is best. In reality, happiness comes through acceptance of human nature -- a mixture of the beautiful and flawed. Wings & Lines: Ones with a strong line to Two makes them warmer and oriented to helping others. Even righteously so. They may also become overly involved or controlling in their "giving." A strong Nine wing can create surprising disorder in certain areas of One's life. The One can require an immaculately clean kitchen and bathroom, but the living room is cluttered with stuff. Ones with a strong line to Four would be more artistic or could have a stronger need to feel special with others. A strong line to Seven can lighten up a One with more humor and fun. Usually Ones have to get away from their environments (and all those details!) before they can really let go and have fun. Tasks in Life: Learn to relax and embrace the imperfection of yourself and others (which can be very difficult for One's). Live life with more humility. Learn to respect others' ways of doing things that are different from yours. Be aware of hidden expectations that affect others and keep you from enjoying everything. Be much more generous with praise and encouragement. And bite your tongue with too much criticism. Don't take yourself so seriously. Learn to play, laugh, celebrate, and enjoy life. Notice when you feel righteous. That's a red flag to lighten up. Learn to recognize when internal aggression is driving you. Your tone of voice, harsh glances. Protect others from your tension or express it within safe, positive, healing structures.
LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE ONES
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2
The Giver
The Need to be Needed
Twos tend to be very
nice giving sweet romantic empathetic helpful sensitive warm affectionate loving
Twos can also be

overly accommodating needy manipulative possessive people pleasers emotional flatterers seductive overly involved in relationships
"I am loved when I am helpful (even if I defer my own needs)"

Gifts: Nurturer Love. Serve. Pitfall: Subservient. Serving and pleasing for the purpose of obtaining other's love and attention. Focus on others' needs and feelings so that they will be appreciated and feel needed.
"Relationships are more important to me than almost anything." "I am more comfortable giving to others than receiving." "I have trouble asking for what I need." "I tend to get emotionally drained taking care of everyone else." "I try to be as sensitive and tactful as possible." "When I'm alone I know what I want, but with others I'm not sure." "Sometimes I feel a deep sense of loneliness." "I enjoy giving compliments to people. It might look like flattery." "If I don't get the closeness or if I'm rejected, I feel sad, hurt, and unimportant." "I work hard to overcoming all obstacles in a relationship." Twos are the Givers in life. They employ their gifts for the needs and service of others. Their main focus is on people and relationships. They feel most fulfilled when they please and are helpful to others. In this pursuit they are constantly attuned to others' needs. They develop a personality that is pleasing and helpful to people. People tend to like Twos and their caring spirit. They seem to be naturally "good," sweet, generous, and selfless. They make others feel appreciated, special and loved. They'll tend to do whatever is needed in a situation to be supportive and without complaint. Twos are in the Emotional Triad. They are sensitive "feelers," who acutely feel others suffering and pain. This can lead to a generosity of spirit to aid others in need. This Two energy is evident in Mother Theresa, for example. They make good nurturers -- kind, loving, caring people with open hearts. The burden for the Two is focusing on other's needs to the exclusion of their own. In fact, Twos typically aren't even aware of their own needs. "Whatever you want is fine with me. Because if you're happy, I'm happy." Twos deep inside, to feel worthwhile, need to be needed by others. That's why they are so helpful. By molding themselves into what other people need, they become indispensable, ensuring their role in the relationship or the organization. Dilemma: The great temptation of Twos is continually to help others and in this way to evade themselves. Over involvement in the lives of others allows Twos to avoid their own sense of emptiness and neediness. Yet Twos are typically unaware of their own repressed needfulness, which is driving
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their compulsion to please. "I am lovable when I focus on other's needs (even if defer my own)." However, the hidden motive can be: "Notice me. Need me. Love me." This can lead to an unconscious "giving in order to get" kind of generosity. When this is the case, others, feeling manipulated, may resist Twos kindness and ultimately pull back instead of returning this love. Or they take advantage of Twos generosity. They take and take and take, with little respect or concern for giving back. Twos are usually viewed as people-pleasers and, as such, can be treated as a "door mat." It is usually very difficult for Twos to understand these dynamics. They see themselves as selfless, with such good hearts, that they can't understand why they aren't appreciated more or don't get more back. Twos can be drawn to partners who need to be served, rescued, or are dependent. This can give Twos real meaning and fulfillment. Unconsciously, Two's tend to give others precisely what they want for themselves. They suppress their own needs and project them onto others. The Two needs to ask yourself: "Why are you really there for others or doing this for that person?" Primary Defense Mechanism: Repression of anger is what produces the reaction formation of the pleasing niceness, gentleness. and subjugation of their needs. Watch out when Twos discover their anger, their power -- when they painfully realize that they're getting crumbs back. Wings & Lines: Twos with a strong One wing tend to have higher standards and are more precise and detail-oriented. They also could be more judgmental. Most Twos, however, don't have the aggression of a One that externalizes the criticism onto others. So the One perfectionistic energy turns inward with Twos as self-criticism. This tends to undermine the Twos self-esteem. A strong Three wing makes Twos into outgoing, high achievers. Twos with advanced degrees are an example. A strong line to Eight makes for a more solid, confident Two who can be controlling and comfortable with confrontation. And a strong Four line may give the Two creative, artistic energy, greater emotional volatility, and an even greater need to feel special. Tasks in Life: Bring the focus back on to yourself. Give yourself what you usually give others. Be your own person, not the one others want you to be. Learn to say "No." Set limits. Discover what your needs are (difficult for Two's). Train yourself to express your wishes (even more difficult). Take pains to practice unobtrusive service: "Can I do something for others that does not get notices and rewarded?" Refrain from automatically giving help and advice; wait until asked. Stop overgiving. Open up and receive when people give to you. Only accept friendships and partnerships that are equal. Don't rescue people. Allow others to be responsible for their behavior. "I do not have to give to be loved." "I am as important as everyone else." "I will speak up for what I want."
LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE TWOS
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The Achiever
The Need to Succeed
Threes can also be
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Threes tend to be very

efficient competent friendly organizer charming ambitious hardworking self-assured enthusiastic people oriented self-propelled good presentation
workaholics image conscious needs attention vain, status seeker self-absorbed Type A's narcissistic showman controlling dishonest, deceit chameleon with many masks
"Work is more fun than fun." "I'm loved when I succeed."

Gifts: Effectiveness. A "doer." Inspiring. Charming. Self-motivated Pitfall: Fear of failure drives Threes. Thus the frantic agitation in pursuit of achievement, status, or applause. Confuses identity with what is achieved: "I am what I do." Threes are driven: "Don't just stand there, do something."
"I tend to be an optimistic, friendly, and upbeat person." "I'm almost always busy." "I tend to put work and projects before other things." "I try to present myself well and make a good first impression." "Financial security is extremely important to me." "I do things as expeditiously as possible." "Leave me alone when I'm doing my work." "I hate to see my projects done poorly or fail." "I'm not interested in opening up and talking about my personal life." Threes special talents for achievement and success often cause them to radiate an ease and smoothness. They pride themselves in their ability to get jobs done efficiently, competently. And the end product, just like the Three, always looks good. For Threes success, image bring praise. Praise is the gas that makes the Threes motor go. Thus the constant, competitive pursuit of achievement and attention. Threes tend to be very motivated and hardworking. The have to be to keep up with all of the projects they take on. They invariably keep lists and are able to do several things at once. In a project, Threes hate being interrupted or running up against obstacles or delays. They have a difficult time putting up with inefficiency or incompetency. Their priority is to get as much done as possible in order to move on to the next demand on their never-ending list. Threes are always too busy. Time is their enemy. The image of the workaholic was designed after the Three. Except that, no matter how much they may complain about being overworked, they actually love losing themselves in activity. Threes are chameleons. They have many masks and facades according to what will win people's approval and succeed. They tend to focus on what "looks good" in order to impress people. External image is as important as substance. For most Threes the way they dress, the cars they select to buy, the house they live in must give the impression of success. Even the partner they choose to marry should make the Three look good. This constant drive for attention and praise can lead to deception, the root sin of a Three. Slanting the truth, cutting corners, smudging on resumes, even having affairs -- whatever it takes for the unhealthy Three to feel successful, get ahead, impress you, get enough affection or praise. And with their charm and smoothness they can usually get away with it.
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The constant outer focus on achieving and "doing" keeps Threes from having to stop and feel their feelings. "Don't just stand there, do something is how Threes live. Dont just do something, stand there," would make the Three very uncomfortable. Free time brings anxiety. They would have to feel their feelings, a churning that propels them to stay busy. This discomfort with feelings is interesting, since Threes themselves are emotional (in the Emotional Triad). But they don't like feelings or exposing their vulnerability. Threes also don't usually handle criticism well. Fear of failure runs deep in Threes. Criticism triggers their deepest wounds and undermines their constant need to feel successful and avoid those feelings. Being so busy and preoccupied all of the time plus the fear of sharing real or vulnerable feelings can make intimacy in a relationship with a Three difficult. They look good on the surface in close relationships. And they can say or promise all the right things. But they usually don't seem comfortable opening up or focusing on their partner. They get their juice from accomplishing, achieving -- not slowing down and relating. Also, introspection can be difficult for Threes. "How do you actually feel?" is not something Threes are interested in or can often answer. Their lives tend to be focused on external things and superficial values. Illusion: Happiness is attained by working hard to meet your goals. Or from image, status, and material objects. In reality, happiness comes to you by opening up and making others as important as your goals. Wings and Lines: Threes with a strong Two wing can be more caring, helpful or may be seductive. A strong Four wing gives Threes more emotional depth, introspection, and volatility. It may also make a Three more envious. The line to Six can cause Threes to be more anxious, indecisive, or drawn to being part of a group. Threes with a strong Nine line are more introverted and disorderly. They tend to numb out more -- maybe with TV, reading, alcohol, or sleep. And they avoid conflict. Tasks in Life: Learn to stand still now and then. And stop the eternal hunt for new successes and projects. "Don't just do something. Stand there." Sharpen your conscience - don't allow yourself to deviate from exposing with others the truth. Live with absolute honesty in your life. Relax. Schedule time every day for connecting with others. And for meditation. Express appreciation every day to your partner. Some Threes think they are the more important one because they accomplish so much. Become aware of the different masks you put on that hide your true self. Be more real with everyone. Discover "How do I actually feel?" -- something Threes tend not to know. Share your real feelings vulnerably with others you care about. Make them important enough to share. Restrain from using others as stepping stones to your goals. Learn to trust and value others, where you no longer need to be on center stage, claiming all of the credit for the success. To join in as a member of the human race.
LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE THREES
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4
The Individualist
The Need to Be Special
Fours tend to be very
artistic imaginative original passionate empathetic sensitive witty determined thoughtful understanding romantic intense intellectually stimulating
Fours can also be

envious overly sensitive melancholy self-pitying overly critical lamenting non-conformist moody eccentric rebellious self-absorbed jealous lonely snobbish
"I like to be seen as one of a kind. I enjoy being different."

Gifts: Creative. Artistic. Emotional Depth Authenticity Pitfall: Subjectivity. Drama. Crisis. Fours are sensitive & tend to experience life dramatically. Their ups and downs and intensity can seem overwhelming to others. Fours uniqueness can keep from blending in. Tend to lament what they would rather have/do.
"I feel very creative in life. I hate doing meaningless, plebeian work." "I tend to be very moody. I also can get very melancholy and depressed." "I can sense what is missing that would make any experience ideal." "Sometimes I feel like an isolated outsider, even with my friends." "When people tell me what to do, I can become rebellious and do or wish to do, the opposite." "I often long for what others have." "I can become nonfunctional for hours, days, maybe even weeks." "I hate insincerity, inauthenticity, and lack of integrity in others." "I tend to focus on what is wrong with me rather than what is right." Fours admire what is noble, truthful, meaningful, and beautiful. They have a creative gift in life. Highly sensitive and full of emotional depth, most Fours seek artistic outlets in dance, music, painting, theater, literature, or in writing. They seek jobs and careers that offer richness and "meaning" where creativity and individuality are prized. With their acute aesthetic sensibilities, they have an eye for beauty and are comfortable in the realms of emotion, symbols and fantasy. Many Fours have a double life: they work a regular job to pay the bills, but identify and express themselves in a different, primarily artistic or intuitive avocation. Fours can be easy to recognize. In their need to be special they have a tendency to stand out. They may wear odd clothes or otherwise have a strong appearance. They avoid "ordinariness." "I don't know who I am if I'm like all the others. I have to stand out or in any case be different." They value being unique and being seen as unique by others. They tend to fully express themselves in everything they do and wear, and in some cases appear esoteric, eccentric, extravagant, or exotic. Many deliberately put together the combination (or non-combination) of clothes and colors that will draw attention. This can be their badge of individuality and "specialness." Many Fours prefer wearing strong colors, particularly black and purple.
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Fours usually feel themselves to be strangers and outsiders by nature. They may respond with an elitist view of life. They disdain being "ordinary" or "vanilla" -- for mediocrity is lifeless. Originality and authenticity are highly valued. Blending in with everyone (or not being special) is death to most Fours. And yet they tend to suffer intensely from the separation they create in their lives. Being so sensitive, Fours can be hurt and feel rejected easily., They also tend to overreact in situations. Everything can seem so dramatic for Fours. The term "Drama Queen" was coined after Fours. They, however, prefer to see their intensity as a positive feature of their personality -- full of passion and richness. Powerful, intense highs and tragic dark moods of emptiness and despair can vacillate in a Fours life. Fours are also called Tragic Romantics. Being so sensitive with such emotional depth, they have a strong, idealized sense of what is possible in every experience. But they expect too much. The day-today present rarely is so dramatic. So they tend to live in the fantasy of what is missing, driven by a painful sense of longing for what they don't have. And yet when their longing is realized, it never seems as special as the fantasy itself was. Thus the tragedy. "A sweet sadness that lies over our whole life like a fog" writes a Four. Many Fours feel ill-treated by life, a "crucified suffering victim." Other Enneagram types see them as self-consumed, wondering if Fours seek love and attention through helplessness, crisis, and pain. As if they gain pleasure in suffering. At 25 years old, many Fours have already lived a lifetime of intense emotional experiences from agony to ecstasy. Illusion: Happiness is attained by focusing on themselves. In reality, happiness comes to them through focusing on others, resulting in a loss of self-consciousness. Golden Rule for the Four: accepting and making others the center of their attention, just as they would have others be sensitive to them. Wings & Lines: Fours with a strong Three wing tend to be more active, productive, and may be higher achievers in their careers. A strong Five wing can make Fours more introverted with greater intellectual depth, clarity and precision. A strong line to One makes the Four more perfectionistic, practical, critical and rule bound. And the line to Two can create more dependency on others. Tasks in Life: Watch out for drama and your overreactions. Be aware of overwhelming people with your emotions. Develop good habits of sleep, exercise, eating and work. Develop a healthy realism and direct your longing toward reachable goals. Beware of having a 'grass is always greener' attitude. Work at seeing that your attention remains in the present and doesn't continually digress into the past or future. Be aware of your snobbishness and your elitist, exclusionary orientation. Restrain focusing all attention within you. Blessed with multiple interests and talents, use those gifts creatively to contribute to the lives of others.
LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE FOURS
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5
The Observer
Fives can also be
withdrawn non-doers self-contained seclusive in their heads
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Seeking Wholeness Through Understanding & Isolation

Fives tend to be very
perceptive objective controlled analytical wise open-minded calm in a crisis good listeners persevering sensitive aloof introverts distant detached self-sufficient
"Knowledge is power. (And security)." "Having my personal space is essential."

Gifts: Thinker. Analyzer. Perceptive. Objective. Realm of Ideas. Pitfall: Withdraw. Detach. Fear Engulfment & Intimacy. or feeling swallowed up by others. Fives compensate for a lack of relatedness, feeling, and doing through having a satisfying intellectual life -replacement of living through observing, thinking, reading.
"I dislike large groups or social events. I'm better one-on-one." "Sometimes I can appear aloof, distant, rejecting of others, even arrogant." "Having my own private space is very important to me." "It's sometimes hard to express my feelings with people." "I prefer to learn from observing or reading as opposed to doing." Most Five's are introverts. They are rational "head" people, in the Mental Triad. They live and revel in the realm of ideas. They have quick, agile minds and can effectively work out complex or abstract problems. They think clearly. And they enjoy thinking and figuring everything out. They are good at problem-solving. They also are good listeners, because they pay close attention. They seem to have the an unlimited capacity to listen, observe, and absorb everything. They have a 6th sense in being able to perceive cause and effects, hidden patterns, and to understand abstractions. They are gifted analyzers. Fives love knowledge. They tend to read books or enjoy being on the computer. In essence, they try to secure their lives by understanding as much detail as possible and making sense of it. They are fascinated by intellectual systems that explain anything. They are natural scientists, researchers, computer analysts, engineers, and lawyers with objective, independent minds. Blessed with an acute perception of connections and facts, they're always inventing grand intellectual systems and interpretations to explain everything. But the information they seek from the outside world is never sufficient. New knowledge opens up new possibilities and unknowns. The very process of gaining knowledge and insight is what gives Fives juice in life. It calms them. It enlivens and empowers them. Thus the constant intellectual pursuit. The need for privacy is important to all Fives. They need a closed-off, private space they can retreat to, a secure fortress that becomes their cave, safe from uninvited intrusion. Fives generally find social and group situations engulfing. They tend to avoid unnecessary group functions unless their role is clearly (and safely) established. Fives usually have a few special friends rather than many. They lack motivation to relate to people due to their fear of becoming engulfed or "swallowed up" by others in the normal giving and taking in
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relationships. Fives also fear too much intimacy. They tend to feel drained by other people's emotional needs. They don't like needy or clinging people. This fear of emotional engagement can make it difficult for some Fives to be a nurturing lover or parent. They also don't seem to enjoy too much showy, loving emotion showered onto them. It may make them feel awkward or foolish. They tend to shy away from too much drama or be drawn into the whirlpool of feelings. Fives also will tend to compartmentalize their lives into separate spheres. Their work life never connects with their home life, for example. The root sin for a Five is greed. Not necessarily financial, but energetic greed. The Fives energy naturally goes inward. They tend to be "greedy" with giving it out effusively in connecting with others. Fives are self-sufficient. They can live by themselves easily. Don't expect from most Fives too much: initiative-taking, continual physical nearness, romance, nurturance, or total surrender. Fives often have difficulty showing their feelings, even when they want to. Objectivity and rationality feels more natural to a Five. In a crisis they tend to maintain calm -- at least externally -- and keep their emotions under control. This is their gift and a burden. To others they can seem cold, aloof, even snooty. In reality, most Fives are emotionally sensitive inside. Though you probably wouldn't know it. It's blocked from showing. Under emotional tension, Fives prefer to go be alone where they can evaluate and sort through their feelings. The Fives primary experience is a sort of emptiness. Ironically, the emptiness which the Five fears is actually maintained through the way they attempt to fill it up: isolation. Fives sabotage true aliveness in their compulsive avoidance of life and intimacy in relationship. Illusions: Happiness is attained by being alone. In reality, happiness comes through contact and involvement with others. Also: Happiness comes from the enlivening the mind. In reality, happiness comes from the integration of the mind and the heart. Wings & Lines: Fives with a strong Four wing would have an aesthetic, artistic, non-conformist side. It would also give them more emotional depth. A Six wing can give loyalty, greater skepticism or cautiousness to a Five. A strong line to Seven gives Fives more outward "fun" energy in social situations. They can be good, witty conversationalists with a wonderful laugh. A strong line to Eight makes the Five stronger, more assertive and confident, and able to confront in relationships. Life Tasks: Learn to express love. Let others know when they're important to you, when you appreciate them, what your feeling. Focus on giving. Be careful about isolating. Dare to take the path outward. "Do" more. Be more action oriented. Be more contactful with people. Be aware of your attachment to reason. Value intuition and feelings more. Be on guard against arrogance and conceit. Practice expressing emotions directly with positive, safe structures instead of storing them up.
LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE FIVES
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6
Mr. / Ms. Responsible
The Need for Trust / Security / Certainty
Sixes can also be
controlling worrying rigid self-defeating suspicious judgmental timid vacillating
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Sixes tend to be very

likable caring practical structured loyal intellectual hardworking perceptive generous warm protective detail oriented
aggressive righteous Dr. Jekyl/ Mr. Hyde
Inner / outer fears rule Sixes lives. Thus the need for trust, certainty, security.
Gifts: Concerned. Caring. Hard Working. Loyal. Guardian. Pitfall: Distrust. Never developed primal trust. People must earn their trust. Afraid to let their guard down. Compensates for primal fears with facade of authority and strength, loyalty in groups, adherence to rules, structure, or protective authority. Or the opposite by defying authority.
"Trust is very important to me. It's vital in a relationship/organization and not to be treated lightly. People generally have to earn my trust." "I tend to worry, be concerned, even sometimes obsess on details--so I always try to be prepared." "Even when I come on authoritatively or tough, I can feel very insecure inside." "I like to have clear-cut guidelines, rules, and structure. And to know where I stand." "I'm a very hard worker. And I tend to take things too seriously." "It can be hard for me to make up my mind on big decisions." "When I care about someone or a group, I'll do anything for them. I'd give my shirt off my back if needed. And I am very loyal. I expect that in return." "I can be suspicious about others." Of all the types it can be difficult for Sixes to discover which Enneagram they belong in. Partly because, as natural doubters, they tend to doubt everything (themselves as well as the system). So they tend to have difficulty deciding. Its also because Sixes, unlike the other types, can have many qualities that are associated with other types. For example, Sixes may think they're Ones because they can be perfectionistic and focus on details. Or Twos because they can be so giving and concerned with the people they care about. They tend to be achievers, like Threes; creative and emotional like Fours; intellectual as Fives; some are adventurers like Sevens; or strong, authoritarian, tough, even confrontational like Eights; or peacemakers like Nines. After reading over the Enneagrams, those who still can't figure out which type they are, are usually Sixes. It also can be difficult to pinpoint because Sixes, unlike other types, are full of contradictions. Like Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde. They are very likable and endearing, yet they can have a shadow side that can be very distrusting, vindictive, even mean. They can appear decisive and authoritarian, and at other times indecisive and vacillating. They can be extremely loyal to authority or groups, or absolutely distrust them. They tend to oscillate between dependent and aggressive sides of their personality: they feel both strong/timid, caring/distrustful, dependent/independent, passive/aggressive, deliberate/ cautious, gentle/intimidating. Or they can be anchored at either pole: Aggressive, fight-based Sixes are authoritative, confrontational, daring, living on the edge; whereas timid, phobic Sixes are furtive, introverted. And others are in-between. With such a range of styles and contradictions, and with so many possible characteristics from other types, Sixes' personalities, unlike other types, can vary widely. And thus, there can be many different types of Sixes. Yet for all Sixes trust and security are the core issues. It can show up in fear of risks, of letting go, of betrayal, of the unknown, or of making mistakes in an unyielding, threatening world. Plagued with ..........................................................................................
Copyright 1998. Page 18 unconscious primal fears, Sixes tend to become suspicious or cautious of others. People have to earn a Sixs trust. When Sixes feel threatened, their habit of projecting their fears outward on to others intensifies: People are divided into those who are "for us" and those who are "against us." You're either in or out. If you are an insider and you betray their trust, introverted Sixes won't have anything to do with you again. Aggressive Sixes will fight you and may feel compelled to get you back. Sixes are hard workers. Real troopers with a strong sense of duty and loyalty. They give 110% to make everything work. They can always be counted on to be reliable, dependable and honest. However, they tend to resist change, and be uncomfortable with spontaneity. They prefer careful planning. They also tend to worry or question alot. They seem to be always mulling over and worrying about the details, troubleshooting potential problems. This can drive others mad. But Sixes tend to be suspicious, even fearful, of the unfamiliar. In new situations they tend to look first at all the negative possibilities. With people they don't know, they can look for the hidden agendas, even imagine ulterior motives. Sixes secure their inner life by attempting to secure their environment (and everyone in it). This overarching concern for security makes for an anxious burden for Sixes to bear. That's why they believe so strongly in structure, rules, and family values to fortify their inner sense of security. Many tend to be attracted to professions that are highly structured and secure, like the military, government, or police, or to authoritarian groups and religions. Their need for structure and rules in everything they (and you) do can make them appear as authoritarian, inflexible, and controlling. It is usually difficult for Sixes to step back and see that the fears, insecurities, anxieties and trust issues that control their lives are phantom, imaginary, unconscious fears deep within themselves. Their concern feels so real, and always seems so rational to them, that they wonder why others dont appreciate their preparedness and helpfulness. They rightly experience themselves as caring, loving, helpful, hard working, loyal troopers who will sacrifice and give everything for the benefit of the marriage, family, team, or organization. It's amazing how many wonderful qualities come naturally to them. However, they generally don't realize that these compelling concerns and the way they go about securing their lives and everyone in it, can distance others away. They can become their own worst enemy. The aggressive types use intimidation, authoritarian responses. The introverted respond with subtler controlling, critical, distrusting behaviors. Either way Sixes can drive away those on whom they depend on and care about. Ironically, that's the very thing they fear most: losing the people they love or depend on (who provide them with their sense of security). It feels like betrayal to them. "Don't they see how hard I work to help, because I care so much." (in reality, so the Six can feel secure). Wings & Lines: Sixes with strong Seven wings are more adventuresome, extroverted, a good sense of humor, and may have the ability for more fun. A strong Five wing makes Sixes more introverted and will add to their perceptiveness and fascination with knowledge. A strong line to Three increases Sixs sense of busyness (or workaholism), productivity and efficiency. A strong line to Nine can create some disorder and clutter in the Sixs environment. And maybe the need to numb out. Life Tasks: The life task of Sixes is learning to trust. Trust themselves, others, and unfolding events in life. Six's are likely to overreact when anxious or stressed. They need to respect other's boundaries and not alienate them with their tension. Be vulnerable. Own these issues with others when they emerge. Being so suspicious in projecting inner fears onto others, learn to check out fears against what is real with others who can be more objective. Vulnerability and self-disclosure are always healing for Sixes.
LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE SIXES
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7
The Cheerful Optimist & Adventurer
The Need to Be Cheerful, Optimistic (& Avoid Pain)
Sevens tend to be very
optimistic imaginative charming enthusiastic fun-loving productive confident adventurous
Sevens can also be

superficial dilettantes positive thinkers not introspective restless idealistic schemers pollyanna
"Don't worry. Be Happy! Life is an adventure to be enjoyed."

Gifts: Joy. Optimism. Laughter. Enterprising. Cheerful. Fun. Pitfall: Fear of Pain/Suffering -- theirs or others. Use cheerfulness and optimism to cover up or avoid uncomfortable emotions: "The glass is always half full." Superficiality. Chatterer.
"I enjoy life. I am generally uninhibited and optimistic. I like change and adventure." "I am busy and energetic. I seldom get bored if left to do what I want." "I seem to let go of grievances and loss faster than most people I know." "I like people and they usually like me. I am often at ease in groups." "When people are unhappy, I usually try to get them to lighten up and see the bright side." Sevens are epicures of life. They are driven by the need for fun, interesting, new, pleasurable stimulation, experiences and adventures. They are usually easy to identify. They always seem to radiate joy and cheerfulness. Some tend to have an infectious laugh and may laugh alot. They are full of aliveness and idealism, good humor, imagination, with a disarming charm. They help others see and appreciate the sunny side of life. There are Sevens who have a permanent smile. Sevens love new experiences. They love adventure and excitement. "Fun" is their mantra. They love to play. They love to travel and experience new places. They have such varied interests and abilities. They are spontaneous. Free-spirited. They could easily pick up and leave on a trip or an adventure at the drop of a hat. No need for extensive planning, they live in the "now." Happy-go-lucky. They also like change. Change for a Seven is always an opportunity for new experiences. They can easily move to new locations. Especially foreign lands. What an opportunity for new experiences! In fact, everything is a positive opportunity for a Seven. It's their gift to see past the problems to the opportunities in every situation. They wonder why others can't do that as easily. Sevens are highly energetic "doers" in life. They like initiating new projects. Most are extroverts who enjoy working with and around people. Their enthusiasm and positive outlook can be inspiring to others. However, discipline -- sticking to projects or following through can be difficult for some Sevens. They feel a deep restlessness, a need to move on to newer, more interesting things. Sevens constant positivity and happiness can become too much for some people. Others may sense that the happiness and joy sometimes is generated up in the head, and not coming from the core of their being. For Sevens are "mental" people in the Mental Triad. In fact, they are very uncomfortable with unpleasant emotions. Theyll do anything to avoid them. Their primary defense mechanisms are humor, avoidance, and rationalization. For example, they tell themselves and others that a death was a "blessing" to make it more bearable. Or, "Things aren't all that bad." "Look at the bright side."
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Copyright 1998. Page 20 Pain is not felt, it is always shifted. Avoided. As natural distracters, they can be quick with one-liners or wisecracks or stories that break any tension with laughter and fun. They don't (won't) let problems get them down. As mental people, Sevens tend to be drawn to systems of "positive thinking." They believe "As a man thinketh. . ." so he is, and therefore their strong belief in building new positive thinking habits. It is Sevens who make the inspirational, motivational tapes. And it is the Sevens that buy the tapes and listen to them regularly. The limitation of the Seven is they seem unable to embrace the dark side of life. They have trouble understanding why others seem to want to dwell in negativity, problems, or suffering. Sevens avoid negative people like the plague. Although Sevens love people, they can have difficulty with real intimacy -- the closeness can feel threatening. They tend to shy away from needy or clingy people. To avoid dealing with feelings, Sevens can tend to keep the relationship focused on the surface. As a result, relationships with Sevens are certainly stimulating and fun, yet tend to be more superficial. Some Sevens can be self-centered. Many times partners wish their Seven was more serious. And Sevens wonder why they are not taken more seriously. Most Sevens are not introspective and rarely have awareness or interest into any of these underlying dynamics in themselves. Chatterboxes and good story tellers are usually Sevens, or are connected to the Seven energy. Sevens can also tend to be too idealistic in their thinking. They may not seem so grounded. And some of their ideas can seem too idealistic, even fraudulent, schemes. But, of course, to enthusiastic Sevens, they see their ideas as all wonderful "opportunities." Wings & Lines: Sevens with a strong Eight wing can be more solid, secure, practical, confident, or aggressive. They also can be more confrontational with anger, or at least not afraid to stand up for themselves and argue. A strong Six wing makes the Seven more serious and can add loyalty and more structure. And maybe less confident. Sevens with a strong line to One tend to be more precise and orderly. And maybe more cynical, critical, or blaming. The strong One line can also cause Sevens to be hard on themselves, self-critical. A strong line to Five makes Sevens more intellectual, introspective, or fascinated with knowledge. Life Tasks: Remove your rose-colored glasses and embrace the reality of the dark side of life. Become more fully human. And embrace others' humanness. Realize that positive thinking won't solve every problem. Set aside time for intimacy with your partner. Be open to feedback about traits in yourself that could use improving. "Truth and richness are in sight when darkness is balanced with the light."
LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE SEVENS
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8
The Confronter
The Need to Dominate or Avoid Feeling Dominated
Eights tend to be very
natural leaders self-confident self-assertive energetic reliable powerful decisive inspiring earthy action-oriented
Eights can also be

confrontational intimidators self-centered rebellious frank aggressive controlling insensitive domineering fighters
Life is hostile. Don't be Weak or One-Down. Use of Power for Self Protection.
Gifts: Leadership. Decision Making. Confident. Direct. Inspiring. Pitfall: Insensitivity. Uncomfortable being vulnerable. Avoid feeling helpless, weak, one-down. Blunt. Can easily overwhelm people with their power. Intimidating. Seems not to care.
"I can be assertive and aggressive when I need to be." "I value being direct and honest. Some take offense at my bluntness." "I can take the heat and not back down." "I respect people who stand up for themselves." "I work hard and I know how to get the job done. I easily make decisions." "When entering a new group, I know immediately who the powerful people are." Eights are strong, confident, direct, no-nonsense people. Their power comes from the Aggression Triad. Eights have always been strong. They were respected for strength in childhood. They learned that vulnerability was seen as weakness, that the strong dominate. Eights are easily the strongest, most solid of all Enneagram types. People respect Eights. Or they fear them. For Eights are natural fighters. They're not intimidated by confrontation or anger. Anger can flare easily for most Eights. Once expressed, the anger dissipates and is quickly let go. They don't tend to hold grudges. They think it is the same for others, and wonder, "Why can't you let go of it and go on?" They don't notice that their bluntness and confrontations can hurt and are often hard for others to endure. For this reason it can be easy for other types to fear or dislike Eights. Eights generally aren't concerned, however, whether you like them or not, or how you feel about them. "That's your problem." Quit honestly, they don't feel the need for everyone's approval. They know who they are and generally feel good about themselves. Eights usually rise up into positions of power. They are natural leaders. And theyre admired for that ability. Difficult problems and obstacles don't threaten them. They tend to be good, practical decision makers who can take the heat. They don't back down easily. In fact, you can never dominate an Eight. Most Eights seem to like a good fight (they seem to enjoy "being against). In any interaction with an Eight, people usually feel one-down. When Eights feel challenged or threatened in any way, they have to be top-dog. Or at the very least, not be dominated. For dominant Eights its "my way or the highway." When in positions of power they tend to be demanding and can be overbearing and arrogant. Their subordinates usually are intimidated, and may feel oppressed, one-down, even pushed around. Eights tend to be "earthy" people and are often physically "beefy." They pride themselves on being honest, direct and realistic. They wonder why that is not valued by others. And they are usually surprised when their style frightens or is off-putting to others. They wish others would be as direct with them and cut out the games.
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Copyright 1998. Page 22 This powerful, aggressive energy also drives their incredible passion for life. The root sin for Eights is lust. Not necessarily sexual lust, but lust for life. Eights are lusty. They have a big, full appetite for life and for life's passions. The self-confident Eight energy is a masculine one. Women Eights sometimes have trouble accepting their femininity or softer images. Most Eights don't like to expose their vulnerable sides. It can be difficult for Eights even to see, much less accept, their own weakness. The more repressed an Eights vulnerability, however, the greater the aggression and the more they get caught up in power, conflict, and confrontation. Interestingly, Eights can feel protective of others' innocence and vulnerability. Justice is very important for them. They very much dislike unfairness and dishonesty. When you are poor, helpless, or weak, Eights protective instinct is aroused. They will do anything to assist you. But as soon as you express in any way that you have power, then Eights will prove that they have more power. They don't like bullies, false authorities and artificial facades. They have an ability to instantly see the weakness of others and are able to confront and unmask false strength. Eights don't usually have alot of people with whom they let their guard down. One or two, usually it is their mate and maybe their children. With someone they cherish and love, Eights can be very generous, romantic and attentive, even dependent. And it can be very difficult for them to get over the loss of such a loved one. But around others, Eights are accustomed to keeping their guard up and being loners. They can be deeply touched, though, by people who care enough to reach out. Once trust is gained, Eights defenses relax. It becomes safe for them to open up to their submissive side. Illusion: Safety comes from dominating people, or refusing to be dominated. In reality, safety comes from developing open, connected, peer relationships based on vulnerability. Wings & Lines: The wings and lines of an Eight can greatly modify the Eights characteristics. For example, an Eight with a strong line to Two will be much more sensitive and caring with others. They are still strong, but not so overbearing and insensitive. A strong Nine wing can eliminate the need to dominate others (although you still won't be able to dominate them). They are much less confrontational. Also, the Nine energy can create disorder around the Eight. The Seven energy adds wit, laughter, and fun to the Eight's potency. It lightens them up. It gives them a hearty, robust laugh. And the line to Five can give Eights great intellectual acuity and fascination with knowledge. Life Tasks: Learn to trust and expose with others your soft, vulnerable side. Be careful for your tendency to blame as a defense. Concede when you are wrong and ask for forgiveness. Recognize that doing so is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Become more sensitive to the vulnerable feelings and needs of others. Beware when you're "direct" you may unintentionally intimidate others. Refrain your tendency to be overbearing and intimidating. Express your appreciation out loud and often with people in your life.
LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE EIGHTS
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9
Mr. / Ms. Easygoing
The Need to Go With the Flow and Merge (& Avoid Conflict)
Nines tend to be very
peaceful good-natured self-effacing kind patient likable supportive gentle
Nines can also be

apathetic oblivious neglectful numb ineffectual disorderly passive-aggressive stubborn
"Take it easy. Relax. Enjoy. Take time to 'smell the roses' in life."
Gifts: Peacemaker. Ease. Accepting. Harmonizing. Pitfall: Laziness. Nothing seems so important or urgent. Energy is spent on maintaining peace -- ignoring anything that takes effort or trouble. Especially tension & conflict.
"I often feel in union with people and nature. I enjoy just hanging out." "I try to avoid unpleasantness and conflict. Why bother. Life's too short." "I tend to procrastinate, putting things off until the last minute." "When people try to control me, I get stubborn." Everyone likes Nines. They are by nature easygoing and enjoyable to be around. They appear simple and uncomplicated with no hidden motives. What you see is what you get. They're peacemakers. They harmonize with everyone and everything. The go with the flow. Their gift of easily accepting others makes people feel relaxed and understood. This makes being with Nines very easy. Nines like to swim with the current in life. They have trouble saying no or conflicting with anyone. Their need is to merge, for peace. Enjoy. As such, they prefer the path of least resistance. Flow. Nines are in the will-based Aggression Triad. However, most Nines have thoroughly repressed their aggression. Thus their gentleness and apparent easy-going, mild-mannered nature. But without aggression they can have little passion or motivational drive in life. The attitude is resignation. "It isn't worth so much effort." "Let's just take it easy." They tend to put off important responsibilities or avoid anything that takes too much energy or is too hard. They can have trouble taking initiative, tackling jobs around the house, focusing on details, doing a task "perfect," or seeing the project completely through. As parents, they tend to be pals rather than disciplinarians. However, their partner usually sees them as too permissive or non-directive with the kids. All Nines are great procrastinators. Without structure they tend to divert energy on to trivia that keeps them from tackling a job. Some give the impression of being absent-minded or befuddled. All Nines know how to relax. To others (particularly their mates), however, they appear just plain lazy. They don't seem to notice disorder and chaos in their environment. It simply doesn't bother them. Generally speaking, they don't pick up after themselves. They may dress carelessly. They don't balance the checkbook. Or notice the lawn needs mowing. This "easy goingness" can make their mates very upset. But for Nines: "It's just not worth worrying about." "Lighten up." "Its not a big deal." At first glance Nines seem humble. They don't seek out the center of attention. In a group they will hang out along the periphery. This unassuming humbleness often conceals a self-image of not being special. At their core Nines don't feel adequate to the challenges of life. The overall lack of aggression robs them of their potency and effectiveness in life. The result is an approach to life that says, "Slow down. What's the rush? Let's enjoy and appreciate the flow." That's why they tend to love being out in nature, or playing golf. ..........................................................................................
Copyright 1998. Page 24 Most Nines have this slower, more laid-back pace in life. It can even be in their mannerisms, thought processes, and speech. Interestingly, they always seem to marry aggressive, "sparky" types, like Ones, Eights, aggressive Sixes, and emotional Fours. These energies actually complement each other. But there also can be real tensions in these matchups. Nine's avoid all tension. Their core need is for peace. They put their head in the sand, staying oblivious to potential problems on the horizon. When faced with others who are upset they shutdown or withdraw. They wonder why people can't lighten up and let things go. Nines certainly can. They numb out their own tension or anger and have to be provoked into an argument. That's because Nines are driven to avoid anger or anything that disturbs their harmony. Where does their anger go? It leaks out passively: being late, forgetful, neglectful, or they simply don't comply with other's expectations (even though they did say yes or agree to do something). So their partners typically end up taking on more of the responsibilities and carrying more of the domestic load. That's fine with Nines: "If it is so important to you, you do it." Nines generally don't appreciate uninvited demands, expectations or pressures put on them. And when they don't want to do something, non-violent resistance comes naturally to them. They can dig their heals in and become stubborn, immovable. You can't make Nines do what they don't want to do. Nines tend also to be very sensitive to criticism. So frontal attacks by their partner usually don't work. Typically their mates try giving them books to read (that point out Nine's faults). Nines graciously accept all the reading materials. They put them on the bedside table, where they remain, unopened. This can drive spouses crazy. How are they suppose to deal with Nine's inertia, lack of interest or introspection? Nines don't see themselves as carrying anger. Their partners usually believe otherwise. While seeming calm and composed on the surface, Nines can be churning, even boiling inside. And not be aware of it themselves. Because of this characteristic numbness, it usually takes a long time for Nines to express anger or get visibly upset. In all cases, they have to be provoked into an argument. That's because Nines avoid anger or anything that disturbs their harmony. Just relax and enjoy. That's their gift. And it can become a burden. Wings & Lines: Nines with a strong Three line can be very reliable and productive at work. But they still are not ambitious like the Three. They get what's necessary done. A strong One wing will result in higher standards of performance in certain tasks, but never across the board like a true One. Notice that a strong One wing of perfectionistic energy tends to undermine a Nine's self-esteem. Without access to the aggression to externalize the criticism onto others, they usually turn the criticality inward. They blame themselves. A strong Eight wing gives the Nine more potency, strength and confidence. They will fight back more forcefully now in a confrontation. But they still prefer peace and will need to be provoked. A strong Six wing can make Nines more responsible, indecisive, or anxious. Life Tasks: Avoid acting as though everything is fine when it isn't. Overcome your secret cynicism in life. Discover and develop your feelings of self-worth: "I have what it takes. I am enough." Learn to recognize and get out your aggression regularly within safe, healthy structures. It will restore your vitality and aliveness. Take initiative and fulfill your obligations within their deadlines. Help out more. Be pro-active.
LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE NINES
The Existential Discovery

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Each Enneagram type represents an individual expression or gift of the human spirit. Each type, however, also establishes a patterned survival response to inner tension and pain. Faced with anxiety, a person responds in one of these nine characteristic ways in order to restore inner balance and ease. The pattern becomes fixated as a constant driving force within the individual. For example, the Three has to impress others and feel successful. The One can't really relax until everything is back in order or is done right. If that underlying drive or fixation is thwarted, we feel horrible inside. In fact, it can feel intolerable when we are forced to live contrary to that need. For a One to live in flagrant disorder, for Twos to be rejected by everyone and be alone, Threes to live as a failure, impressing no one, for Fours to have to blend in, Fives engulfed with no privacy, or Sixes being betrayed and abandoned, for Sevens boredom or worse: be around alot negativity, for Eights to be one-down and vulnerably exposed, or Nines to be confronted -- these can be very distressing for each of us in our own type. It's represents an Ego death, which can be very, very scary. Notice that your particular type's fixation or core, compelling need does not affect someone of a different Enneagram type like it does you. A Five, unlike the Two, is not distressed being and living alone. A Nine, unlike the One, can live comfortably admist chaos and disorder. Notice that for each of the nine types there is a specific emptiness or insecurity which the types need tries to avoid. For example, Ones have to have things perfect and done right. For Ones, imperfection represents a terrifying void or "loss of Being" in their core. There is no security of Self or peace there. Experiencing imperfectness is to experience that emptiness or void, which is intolerable for the One. This deep-seated deficiency of Being inside motivates the constant drive and vigilance to do whatever it takes to avoid those particular feelings. And it is that dynamic, and that alone, that determines your Enneagram type. Again, notice, Nines do not have a "loss of Being" or insecurity around perfection at their core. Their fear or void has to do with not feeling lovable. This deep-seated deficiency creates a personality that merges with everyone, which is their core need or fixation. To experience conflict or tension with others is to experience that distressing void inside. This characteristic loss of being is what is constant in people of a particular type. How they express that in their personality can range widely. The wings and lines modify that expression, as do influences from our family of origin. So our personality is unique to our selves, our Enneagram type is not. The deep void or insecurity operating within you is specifically identified by your Enneagram type. Associated with that insecurity is a false belief about yourself. For example, Twos have to keep taking care of others needs to avoid feeling empty at their core. The constant striving to please others counters the unconscious insecurity or void inside that says: "I am worthless." "I am only lovable when I give to others." Which certainly is untrue. This constant need to give for the Two counters the core belief I am worthwhile only when people need me or are pleased with me. Or People wont love me if I dont do something for them. But even though the core belief is completely unfounded and irrational in each of us, it continues to plague us unconsciously, deep inside, as long as the void continues. To avoid feeling that way, we characteristically respond in the predictable pattern of our type. In other
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words, what we yearn for in our type is precisely how we are wired to avoid those empty and terrifying feelings. What would be the unconscious, deep-seated, painful, core false belief of each Enneagram type that we strenuously avoid with our fixations?
Type Fixation Keeps me from Core False Belief
1's need to be Perfect 2's need to be Needed 3's need to Succeed 4's need to feel Special 5's need to Observe 6's need for Security 7's need for Stimulation 8's need for Power 9's need to Merge
so that I don't feel so that I don't feel so that I don't feel so that I don't feel so that I don't feel so that I don't feel so that I don't feel so that I don't feel so that I don't feel
"There's something wrong with me." "I am worthless." "I am inadequate." "I am nothing. I am nobody." "I am engulfed." "I am at risk and out of control." "I'm empty, something's missing" "I am vulnerable or powerless." "I am not lovable."
Ironically, each of the nine patterned ways we use to avoid these insecurities will never, ever succeed. They, in fact, perpetuate the false belief inside. Twos avoid feeling "I'm worthless" by making others happy. Making others happy, feeling needed, makes Twos feel worthwhile. Yet this feeling of worthwhile-ness they gain when they give to others is illusory. It is not coming from within themselves. It is dependent on others.. So in constantly meeting others' needs, Twos perpetuate the dependence on others for feeling worthwhile. In fact, their continual focus on others actually keeps them from discovering who they are and what they need. But its never ending Threes feel great when they accomplish something or impress someone. They are what they accomplish. But it is a fools gold, for theyll never find true peace and fulfillment outside of them selves in impressing others. It's the same for us all. In each Enneagram, wholeness is found in the most unlikely place and manner -- usually in the last thing we would want to do or experience. For it is through embracing and integrating those distressing beliefs that the Enneagram pattern is protecting us from experiencing that we find our wholeness as a human being. For the Two, it means not depending on others, but rather discovering your self and embracing your own needs. Three's need to embrace failure and inadequacy; Fours -- blending in, and appreciating the present; Five's -- full involvement and emotional contact; Sixes -- trust and faith, in themselves, their environment, or in others; Seven's -- the shadow side of life; Eight's -- vulnerability; Nine's -aggression, responsibility; One's -- imperfection. For each of us this entails healing journeys through the particular emptiness or 'loss of Being" at our core in order to restore the wholeness of our spiritual Being. Becoming aware of your Enneagram will give you insight into your core, existential dilemma -- where your fundamental insecurity or "loss of Being" is and how you characteristically strive to avoid it (your Enneagram's unconscious strategies that can never really succeed). With self-awareness of these stress-patterns in your personality you can take
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responsibility for making healthy changes. The result is greater harmony, fulfillment, and success in your life and in your relationships.
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HOW TO BEST WORK WITH EACH ENNEAGRAM TYPE

u Do
TYPE ONES:
"To get along with me, I need you to. . .
what you say youre going to do, and do it right so I don't have to take it on or pick up the slack and then get resentful. Also, be more helpful so I don't have to carry so much. u Appreciate how hard I work and how good a job I do. Sometimes you resist me. u Pay attention to the details. And be proactive looking to catch the mistakes so I don't have to.
u Appreciate all the special things I do for you. And give back. Ask me what I would u When you must criticize me, be sensitive. I'm trying to do a good job to please you. u Don't take advantage of my good will and support. I can burn-out trying to help.
TYPE TWOS:
like.
u Notice what I u Keep up with
do and achieve. Encourage me. Praise is the gas that makes my motor go. me. Don't slow me down or get in the way. I don't like interruptions, being diverted, or having to carry your load. u And do a good job so it I can be proud of what we accomplish.
TYPE THREES:
TYPE FOURS:
u u u
Value and recognize my contribution, my specialness and gifts. Let me be me. And, remember, I need meaningful work to feel committed and alive. Be patient with my tendency to be "sensitive," and encourage me to do reality checks.
TYPE FIVES:
u u u
Respect my need for privacy and space. I'm uncomfortable being engulfed with your needs. In working with me, have your facts ready and be objective, straight forward and succinct. Don't dismiss my analysis or ideas. I try to think things out very carefully.
TYPE SIXES:
u u u
Be clear & honest in communicating with me; ambiguity or any withholding drives me crazy. Don't take it personally when I play devil's advocate. I am great troubleshooter. Be patient and understanding when I overreact to problems because of my anxiety.
TYPE SEVENS:
u u u
Dont clip my wings. I need as much freedom as the situation will allow. Lighten up and lets have more fun together. Say something positive. Be patient if Im not as structured or disciplined as you.
u Be direct and honest with me. I don't care for playing games. u Don't assume my assertive manner is an attack. It simply makes sense to me to be direct. u When you disagree, tell me. When I'm wrong, tell me. If you have something helpful, tell
TYPE EIGHTS:
me.
TYPE NINES:
u u u
Be patient with my pace. I work best without constant monitoring and pressure tactics. If you must confront or get a commitment from me, an unpressured discussion will get results. Be sure you really have my attention if it's important. Remember, I need structure. Gently.
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Crossing The River By Styles

ONES approach the river from the one and only perfect place to cross.
TWOS start to cross the river then double back to help others cross. As
they continue to do this, they never get to cross the river themselves.
THREES wear their best and wait at the edge until they are the center of
attention. Then they do attractive, eye-catching strokes as they cross the river.
FOURS use a variety of fancy styles and even do a water ballet.
FIVES never get into the river. They hide behind trees and take notes on
what everybody else does.
SIXES distrust the river currents. They wait for the security of others to
take the ferry across the river.
SEVENS splash and dive and generally have a party, and it doesn't
matter if they ever cross the river.
EIGHTS march into the water and swim upstream -- against the current.
NINES amble into the water and float downstream with the current.
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RECOMMENDED BOOKS ON THE ENNEAGRAM

The Enneagram Made Easy: Discover the 9 Types of People by Renee Baron & Elizabeth Wagele. Harper, San Francisco, 1994. ISBN-0-06-251026-6. Trade paperback. $16. Available for sale at the Center. The best book to give to friends to introduce Enneagrams. Cute illustrations provide a simple overview which focuses on the positive aspects of each personality. Lacks any indepth analysis. Personality Types: Using the Enneagram for SelfDiscovery by Don Richard Riso. Houghton Mifflin Company, Boston, 1997. ISBN-0-395-53518-2. Paperback. $14. A very good detailed summary of each Enneagram. It analyzes the Healthy, Average, and Unhealthy features of each personality. Riso has written the most books on Enneagrams. His other books may tend to be too simplistic. Enneagram in Love & Work: Understanding Your Intimate & Business Relationships by Helen Palmer. Harper. San Francisco, 1995. ISBN-0-06-250679-X. ppk. $14. This and Riso's book above are the best detailed summaries of each Enneagram pattern. Helen Palmer is considered a top expert in this field. Her book also includes good summaries of all of the possible pairings in the Enneagram. You can look up and see the dynamics of your personality type with each of the other types, in both work and love relationships. Some find her writing style not as easy to read. Discovering the Enneagram: An Ancient Tool for a New Spiritual Journey by Richard Rohr. Crossroad Publishing Co, New York, 1990. ISBN -0-8245-1017-8. Many find Rohr's book the best introduction and summary of the Enneagram. Easy and enjoyable to read. Rohr is a Jesuit priest and includes Christian material that some will appreciate and others may not respond to. This book may be the most difficult to find in a bookstore or library. Ennea-Type Structures: Self-Analysis for the Seeker. by Claudio Naranjo, M.D. Gateways/IDHHB, Inc. Nevada City, CA, 1990. ISBN-0-89556-063-1. Paperback. $12.50 This is a short, yet profound book for understanding the core issues of each personality. Invaluable. What's My Type: Use the Enneagram System to Discover Your Best Self by Kathleen Hurley & Theodore Dobson. Harper. San Francisco, 1991. ISBN--06-250421-5. Paperback. $13. A good introduction and summary.
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What is the Enneagram and what does it aim to uncover?

What is the Enneagram and what does it aim to uncover?

What benefits can learning the Enneagram personality types provide?

What benefits can learning the Enneagram personality types provide?

NAME

Understanding People & What Makes Them Tick

THE ENNEAGRAM HANDBOOK

Understanding People & What Makes Them Tick

THE ENNEAGRAM HANDBOOK

Chris Wright & Associates

WHAT CAN THE ENNEAGRAM DO FOR YOU?

ABOUT THESE SUMMARIES

I. Emotional, Mental, or Visceral?

IV. Range from Healthy to Unhealthy

THE BEST WAY TO BEGIN

Enneagram Types of the People In Your Life

List your family members, friends, co-workers, supervisors, employees . . .

TYPE TWO - The Giver:

TYPE THREE - The Achiever:

TYPE FOUR - The Individualist:

TYPE SIX - Mr./Ms. Responsible:

TYPE SEVEN - The Optimist:

VISCERAL, WILLFUL TYPES

TYPE NINE - Mr./Ms. Easy Going:

TYPE ONE - The Perfectionist:

Ones tend to be very

The search for order & perfection rules their lives.

LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE ONES

Twos can also be

"I am loved when I am helpful (even if I defer my own needs)"

LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE TWOS

Threes tend to be very

"Work is more fun than fun." "I'm loved when I succeed."

LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE THREES

Fours can also be

"I like to be seen as one of a kind. I enjoy being different."

LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE FOURS

Seeking Wholeness Through Understanding & Isolation

"Knowledge is power. (And security)." "Having my personal space is essential."

LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE FIVES

Sixes tend to be very

aggressive righteous Dr. Jekyl/ Mr. Hyde

LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE SIXES

Sevens can also be

"Don't worry. Be Happy! Life is an adventure to be enjoyed."

LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE SEVENS

Eights can also be

LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE EIGHTS

Nines can also be

LIST THE PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE WHO COULD BE NINES

The Existential Discovery

HOW TO BEST WORK WITH EACH ENNEAGRAM TYPE

"To get along with me, I need you to. . .

u Notice what I u Keep up with

Crossing The River By Styles

FOURS use a variety of fancy styles and even do a water ballet.

what everybody else does.

take the ferry across the river.

matter if they ever cross the river.

RECOMMENDED BOOKS ON THE ENNEAGRAM