ROALD DAHL’S MATILDA

THE MUSICAL
An abridged schools
version of
ROALD DAHL’S MATILDA THE
MUSICAL
Book by Dennis Kelly. Music and Lyrics by Tim
Minchin.

The sheet music to accompany the songs included in this script is published
by Wise Publications (part of The Music Sales Group) and is available to
purchase from Musicroom (www.musicroom.com / 01284 725 725).

MATILDA THE MUSICAL (IN 20 MINUTES) is licensed (for performers aged 16

years and under) by Casarotto Ramsay and Associates Ltd in association with the
Royal Shakespeare Company. All rights whatsoever in this play are strictly
reserved and application for performance etc. should be made before rehearsals
begin to Casarotto Ramsay and Associates Ltd., Waverley House, 7-12 Noel
Street, London W1F 8GQ ([email protected]) No performance may be given
unless a licence has been obtained.

Please note: NO PROFESSIONAL STAGE OR OTHER AMATEUR RIGHTS

ARE AVAILABLE AND NO COPYING OF THE WEST END OR BROADWAY
STAGING, DESIGNS, CHOREOGRAPHY OR GRAPHIC DESIGNS AND
PUBLICITY MATERIAL IS ALLOWED.

www.matildathem
usical.com
www.timminchin.c
om
www.rsc.org.uk
www.musicsales.c
om

MATILDA THE MUSICAL Music and lyrics © Tim

Minchin 2010.
MATILDA THE MUSICAL Dialogue © Dennis
Kelly 2010.

2
 CAST LIST

Matilda - The cleverest, smartest young girl you will ever meet! She
(Candy/Helen) loves to read books and has a powerful imagination. Matilda
uses her special powers to change her sad situation into a
happy ending.

Bruce - Poor Bruce! He steals some of Miss Trunchbull’s chocolate

(Sam) cake and is punished for it.

Blamed for pouring treacle on Miss Trunchbull’s chair. Matilda

Nigel - saves him from punishment by pretending he has been
(Felix) sleeping under a pile of coats.

Doctor - When baby Matilda is born the doctor is shocked by Mr and

(Amelia) Mrs Wormwood’s cruel reaction.

Mrs Wormwood - Matilda’s mother wants more than anything, to be ‘Dancing

(Mabel) with the Stars’ champion. This is all she cares about. She
does not care for Matilda.

Mr Wormwood - Matilda’s father sells used cars. He is a liar and a cheat. He

(Kevin) does not care for Matilda and hates her reading her books. He
wanted a boy.

Rudolpho - Mrs Wormwood’s dancing partner. He is in love with himself

(Jason) and his dancing.

Mr Phipps - Works in the library with Matilda’s favourite thing – books! He

(Ryan) is kind to Matilda and loves listening to Matilda tell her stories.

Miss Honey - Matilda’s teacher is a sweet, quiet person. She sees that
(Yuri) Matilda has a special gift and want to help her. She becomes
the mother Matilda always wanted.

Miss Trunchbull - The most horrible headmistress teacher you will ever meet!
She hates children and loves to punish them. (She was also
the Olympic Chinese hammer-throwing champion of 1969!

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 MATILDA THE MUSICAL

(OVERTURE OF SONG ‘ENTRACTE INSTRUMENTAL’ OPENS TILL 0:15 SECS.

ALL CAST ON STAGE AS DOCTORS AND PATIENTS, FREEZE IN POSITION.)

SCENE 1 - THE HOSPITAL

Mr phipps: Most parents think their own children are miracles and the brainiest
or prettiest people, the bravest soldiers, the best ballerinas, the most
special people on earth, don’t they?

Well, there was one family where this was definitely not the case.

(‘ENTRACTE INSTRUMENTAL’ CONTINUES FROM 0:15 SECS

UNTIL 0:31SECS)

(THEY PERFORM A SEQUENCE OF MOVEMENTS IN RHYTHM TO

THE MUSIC THAT ESTABLISHES A HOSPITAL SCENE.)

Nigel: Mrs. Wormwood is nine months pregnant. She wants more than
anything to perform in the annual ‘Dancing with the Stars’ competition
televised in front of a live studio audience. She does NOT want
another baby.

(‘ENTRACTE INSTRUMENTAL’ CONTINUES FROM 0:32SECS

UNTIL 0:35SECS)

Rudolpho: Her husband, Mr. Wormwood, doesn’t much care, but if there is
going to be another baby, it has to be a boy. The doctor who is
delivering the beautiful new girl, Matilda, can’t believe these parents!

(‘ENTRACTE INSTRUMENTAL’ CONTINUES FROM 0:35SECS

FINISHES 0:41SECS)

Mr. Wormwood: Oh my word, he’s an ugly little fella.

Doctor: Mr. Wormwood, this child is a girl. A beautiful, beautiful

little girl.

Mr Wormwood: I don’t suppose we can exchange it for a boy, could we?

(MUSIC CUTS. DOCTORS AND PATIENTS ALL GASP.)

Mrs. Wormwood: This is the worst day of my life!

(MUSIC PLAYS - ‘MIRACLE’ UNDERSCORE)

4
SCENE 2 - WORMWOOD HOUSE (1)

(MR WORWOOD HOLDS A PHONE TO HIS EAR FRONT STAGE

LEFT. MATILDA FRONT STAGE RIGHT STAGE WITH BOOKS.
MRS WORMWOOD UPSTAGE LEFT PASSES DIAGONALLY
TOWARDS MATILDA ON HER CUE.)

Rudolpho: Five years later Mr. Wormwood, on the phone at home, is running
his dodgy business dressing up old rusty cars as luxury limousines.
Suddenly Mrs. Wormwood screams from the next room (MRS
WORMWOOD SCREAMS). When her husband rushes in she shouts
that their five year old daughter is ‘doing it again!’

Mrs. Wormwood: Five years old and she’s reading. Books, if you don’t mind.
That’s not normal - the child is clearly an idiot.

Matilda: Listen to this - ‘To be or not to be, that is the question . . .’

Mr. Wormwood: Who do you think you are? You are off to school in a few days’
time and I know the headmistress, her name is Trunchbull. I’ve
told her all about you. Imagine what she’s going to do to a
horrible squeaky little goblin-boy like you!

Matilda: (AS SHE RUNS TO BACK OF STAGE) I’m . . . I’m a girl . . .

SCENE 3 - NIGHT-TIME WORMWOOD HOUSE [SONG: NAUGHTY] (All)

(MATILDA RUNS TO BACK OF STAGE AND KNEELS DOWN

LISTENING THROUGH IMAGINARY BATHROOM DOOR. MRS
WORMWOOD IS BRUSHING HER TEETH IN MIRROR FACING
AUDIENCE IN REPETITIVE GESTURES. SHE STANDS IN FRONT
OF A SMALL TABLE ON WHEELS WITH TWO LARGE BOTTLES.)

Mr Phipps: Now Matilda is no push-over. She’s got a powerful imagination and

a very strong sense of what’s right and what’s wrong. While her
mother is brushing her teeth (SOUND EFFECT – BRUSHING TEETH
AND SPIT),

Matilda thinks up a plan to get back at her parents. When her mother
leaves the bathroom, Matilda sneaks in and mixes her mother’s
platinum hair dye with her father’s Oil of Violets Hair Tonic.
(MATILDA SNEAKS IN AND POURS BOTTLE, SHAKES IT AND
RUNS OUT BACK TO CROUCHED POSITION. MR WORMWOOD
ENTERS AND APPLIES BOTTLE’S CONTENTS)

Shortly afterward her father applies this lotion to the hair he’s so
proud of (MR WORMWOOD EXITS).

Matilda: … just because you’re small doesn’t mean you have to put up 5
with injustice.

(FROM OFF-STAGE WE HEAR MRS WORMWOOD SCREAM)

Mrs. Wormwood: Your . . . hair! It’s . . . green!

Mr. Wormwood: (RUNNING BACK TO POSITION WITH GREEN WIG AND LOOKING
IN A MIRROR): My hair is green!

Mrs.Wormwood: What on earth did you do that for? Why do you want green hair?

Mr. Wormwood: I don’t want green hair, I didn’t do anything

Matilda: Maybe you used some of mummy’s hair dye by mistake?

(MR WORMWOOD RUNS OFF IN PANIC. MRS WORMWOOD

TRIES TO CONSOLE HIM.)

** SONG: NAUGHTY **

All: Just because you find that life’s not fair, it

Doesn’t mean that you just have to grin and
bear it. Sometimes you have to be a little bit
naughty……

SCENE 4 - LIBRARY/CIRCUS (1)

Doctor&Rudolpho: Matilda, as you might imagine, loves to go to the library. Here she is,
sitting on the floor, looking through some books. Mr. Phipps, the
librarian, greets her happily and asks her to tell his a story
(remember, Matilda has a strong imagination).

Matilda: Once upon a time . . .

(Helen)
(MR. PHIPPS SQUEALS WITH DELIGHT AND SITS DOWN READY
FOR THE STORY. CIRCUS MUSIC STARTS TO PLAY QUIETLY.)

Once upon a time the two greatest circus performers in the

Matilda: world fell in love and got married. People would come from miles
(Helen) around to see their skill and their love for each other. But though
they loved each other and though they were famous, they were
sad. ‘We do not have a child,’ they said.

Their sadness drew them to ever more dangerous performances

and they decided to perform the most
dangerous act ever known to man. It was called: ‘The Burning
Woman Flying Over Sharks Caught Just in Time.’

SCENE 5 - SCHOOL (1) [SONG: THE SCHOOL SONG]

Doctor: It’s the first day of school. The New Kids skip up to the gates, full of

6
 hope and confidence. Just as they reach the main gate the Big
Kids rush out, terrifying them.

** SONG: THE SCHOOL SONG **

All And so you think you’re

Able to survive this mess by
Being a prince or a princess, you will soon
See there’s no escaping tragedy …….

Nigel: Suddenly there’s a ‘testing, testing’ sound coming through a

speaker system. The Big Kids freeze and then so do the New
Kids. Trunchbull, the headmistress, speaks:

Trunchbull: Prisoners Letchworth, Rottwinkle, Finglebottom and

Gubbinsworth: report to my study immediately for . . . re-
education.

(FIERCELY)
WHAT. IS. THE SCHOOL.
MOTTO.

Big Kids: ‘Bambinatum est Maggitum,’ Miss Trunchbull.

Trunchbull: ‘Bambinatum est Maggitum.’ ‘Children are

maggots.’ Back to work, maggots.

SCENE 6 - SCHOOL (2)

Mr Phipps: The New Kids are in class. Miss Honey, gentle, kind and loving
Miss Honey, is their teacher. She starts with the two times tables

Miss Honey: My name is Miss Honey. And today is a very special day:
your first day at school. Now, do any of you know any of
your two times tables? Wonderful! Matilda, isn’t it? Please
stand and do as much as you can…

Matilda: One times two is two, two times two is four, seven times two

is fourteen, twelve times two is twenty-four.

Miss Honey: Now this is much harder, so don’t worry if you don’t get it,
but two times four hundred and eighty seven . . .

Matilda: Nine hundred and seventy-four.

Bruce: Miss Honey realizes that Matilda is a special child, a gifted child who

7
 should go up into an older class. She stands trembling outside the
Headmistress’s office door. Several times she tries to knock but her
courage fails her. Finally she gives a timid knock and goes in.

Trunchbull: Well don’t stand there like a wet tissue. Get on with it.

Miss Honey: Well, yes, there’s in, in, in my class there is a little girl called
Matilda Wormwood and, Miss Trunchbull, Matilda is a genius
and should be placed in the top form with the eleven year
olds…

Trunchbull: What? But she is a squib, a shrimp, an un-hatched tadpole. We

cannot just ‘place her in the top form.’ What about rules, Honey,
rules? How do you think I became the Chinese hammer-throwing
champion of 1969? By keeping to the rules. If you want to teach
success, you have to force the little squits to toe the line.

SCENE 7 - WORMWOOD HOUSE (2)

Rudolpho: Back at the Wormwoods’ house, Mr. Wormwood is in a very bad

mood. The Police, who were supposed to be buying his dodgy
cars and making him rich, have caught him at it. His green hair
didn’t help. In a fit of temper he blames it all on Matilda, who is
reading as usual.

Mr. Wormwood: And what’s this? Another flaming book? What’s

wrong with the television?

Mrs. Wormwood: She’s got no respect, that one. It’s all books
and
stories.

Mr. Wormwood: Here’s what I think of your book! (He rips it up.)

(MATILDA GATHERS UP THE PIECES OF THE TORN BOOK, THEN

GOES INTO THE HALL AND PUTS A MASSIVE AMOUNT OF
SUPERGLUE INSIDE HER FATHER’S HAT. TO THE AUDIENCE
SHE SINGS A REPRISE OF THE SONG ‘NAUGHTY’: Matilda: “just
because you find that life’s not fair, it doesn’t mean that you just
have to grin and bear it”.)

Bruce: Mr. Wormwood goes into the hall, smashes his hat down on his head.
After a number of failed attempts to prize the hat off

Mr. Wormwood: A man with a jaunty hat will always get respect.

SCENE 8 - SCHOOL SCENE (3) [SONG: THE CHOKEY]

8
Bruce&Doctor: Back at school, Matilda witnesses a terrible piece of injustice when
Headmistress Trunchbull blames Nigel for pouring treacle on her
chair. The Older Kids tell Matilda about the worst punishment of all -
the dreaded CHOKEY! It’s a place you are sent when you haven’t
been good. It’s a very tall but very narrow cupboard and when you get
locked up in there, you have to stand in the darkness as there’s not
room to sit down. It’s made of spikes and nails and wood – it’s horrific!
Despite her terror Matilda rescues Nigel from this terrible fate by
pretending he’s been sleeping for ages under a pile of coats.

Matilda: (TO TRUNCHBULL): He’s over there under those coats

where he’s been for the last hour

Trunchbull: What? An hour?

Matilda: Oh yes. You see unfortunately, Nigel suffers from the

rare but sleeping disorder. (ENSEMBLE: PLACE HANDS ON
SIDE OF HEAD AND START SNORING) He fell asleep and we
put him in the coats for safety. Didn’t we? Didn’t we?

All: Yes! (ENSEMBLE: WAKE UP IN SURPRISE)

Nigel: (COMING OUT FROM UNDER THE COATS AND YAWNING):

Oh!! Is it time for school yet, mum?

SCENE 9 - WORMWOOD HOUSE (3)

Nigle: Meantime, Miss Honey, determined to do her best for Matilda, visits
her parents. Mrs.Wormwood is at home practising her dancing with
her rather greasy partner, Rudolpho. Rudolpho and Mrs. Wormwood
explain to Miss Honey why it’s stupid to be clever.

Mrs.Wormwood: What do you want, Miss Nee Nee?

Miss Honey: It’s Miss Honey. Well, Matilda is in the bottom class and children
in the bottom class aren’t expected to read –

Mrs. Wormwood: Well stop her reading then. Lord knows we’ve tried!

Rudolpho: I’m in the zone, lady! I can feel it in my hips. Don’t waste this.

Mrs. Wormwood: I’m not in favour of girls getting all clever pants, Miss Funny. A
girl should think about make-up and hair dye. Looks are more
important than books. Now, look at you, look at me. You chose
books, I choose looks.

9
SCENE 10 - LIBRARY/CIRCUS (2)

Doctor: While Miss Honey is at the Wormwoods’, Matilda is in the library

telling Mr. Phipps the next part of her story about the Acrobat and
her husband, the circus perfomer. Matilda acts out all the parts.

(CIRCUS MUSIC PLAYS AGAIN QUIETLY)

Matilda: The circus performer announces “Ladies and Gentlemen,

(Helen) boys and girls, ‘The Burning Woman Hurling through the
Over Sharks’ has been cancelled - cancelled because my
wife is . . . pregnant.”
Immediately the Wicked Sister runs on stage with a paper
contract she had made them sign earlier. She screams that
they have to perform even if the acrobat is pregnant!

Mr.Phipps: No, no! What happened next? tell me,please!

Matilda: I don’t know yet. I’ll tell you tomorrow.

(Helen)

SCENE 11 - SCHOOL (4) [SONG: BRUCE]

Rudolpho&Nigel: Back at school there’s more trouble. Trunchbull accuses Matilda of

eating a slice of her chocolate cake. Suddenly, Bruce gives the most
enormous burp you’ve ever heard and Trunchbull realises that
Bruce ate the cake. (BURP SOUND EFFECT. BRUCE STEPS
TOWARD AUDIENCE AND PLACES HIS HAND OVER HIS
MOUTH.) As his first punishment Bruce is forced to eat the biggest
chocolate cake imaginable, brought in by the cook - all of it, all by
himself.

(THE COOK CARRIES AN ENORMOUS CAKE ONTO THE STAGE

AND PLACES IN FRONT OF BRUCE)

Trunchbull: I say that criminals like you are not full until you have eaten the
entire cake!

Bruce: But I can’t eat it all! I`m full!

Miss Honey: Headmistress, he’ll be sick….

Trunchbull: EAT!

10
** SONG: BRUCE **

All: I can see that a slice

Or even two, Bruce
Might’ve been nice
But even you, Bruce
Have to admit
Between you and it
There’s not a lot of difference in size

(BRUCE PUTS THE LAST BUT INTO HIS MOUTH. SUDDENLY, NO

LONGER ABLE TO CONTAIN HERSELF, MISS HONEY JUMPS UP
AND SCREAMS)

Miss Honey: Go on Brucie!

(THE TRUNCHBULL MOVES TOWARDS BRUCE. LOOKS DOWN

AT HIM. FOR A LONG TIME)

Trunchbull: Oh did I not mention? That was the first part of your
punishment. And the second part is . . . chokey!

(AS BRUCE IS DRAGGED OFF BY MISS TRUNCHBULL):

All: That’s not right!

SCENE 12 - LIBRARY/CIRCUS (3)

Nigel: In the library Mr Phipps waits anxiously for the end of Matilda’s
story.

Matilda: The poor, pregnant acrobat hugged her husband and comforted
(Helen) him before they performed the most dangerous act of all time.
The crowd held their breath as she flew over the sharks.
The circus performer reached out one huge, muscled arm to
catch his wife and . . .

Mr.Phipps: Oh, I can’t look!

Matilda: The circus performer reached out his hand, as he had done
many times before. But, this time he missed . . . and she fell.
(Helen) She broke every bone in her body, but lived long enough to
have their child. And then she died a few hours later.

The acrobat’s wicked sister agrees to look after the child.

SCENE 13 - WORMWOOD HOUSE (5)

11
Bruce: Shortly afterward, at the Wormwood house, Mr. Wormwood is
jumping about, shouting about his own cleverness in tricking the
Police into buying 150 old banger cars. Mrs. Wormwood and
Matilda react very differently to the news and Matilda’s father
delivers a terrible blow:

Mrs. Wormwood: Fantastico! Now I’ll be able to afford Rudolpho all day long!

Matilda: But you’ve cheated them! That’s not fair at all; they trusted you
and you’ve cheated them!

Mr. Wormwood: Tomorrow I'm gonna go down to that library and tell that old bag
you’re never to be let in again!

SCENE 14 - WORMWOOD/CIRCUS (4)

Nigel&Rudolpho: To comfort herself Matilda continues her story. She tells how the
acrobat’s wicked sister has thrown the little girl, now as old as Matilda,
into a dark cellar and locked the door. The little girl is scared; she
huddles in a corner and cries. Suddenly there’s a banging on the door
and the Circus Performer, bursts in. He puts his arms around the little
girl. And then makes a promise to his daughter:

Matilda: The circus performer says; “What has she done to you my
Helen child? She is a demon, a monster! If bullying children is her
game, then let us see what she does when I stand before her!”

But that was the last the little girl ever saw of her father.

Because he never ever came back. Ever again.

SCENE 15 -. SCHOOL (5)

Rudolpho& At school the Trunchbull is once more on the rampage.Bruce

Mr phipps: has put a frog in Trunchbull`s drinking glass. Truchbull screams
and stands on a chair.And then she lowers her head and makes
for Nigle,grabbing him by the ears.Matilda can't take any more

Matilda: Leave him alone, you BIG FAT BULLY!!!

(EVERYONE GASPS.)

12
Trunchbull: (TO MATILDA): I shall crush you! I shall pound you, I shall
dissect you. I shall feed you to the termites and then I shall
smash . . .

Matilda: (WHISPERING TO HERSELF): Tip it . . . tip it over!

(SOUND EFFECT OF MAGIC MUSIC)

(MAGICALLY THE GLASS TIPS OVER AND THE FROG

LEAPS ONTO TRUNCHBULL WHO SCREAMS AND
SCREAMS AND THEN RUNS OUT. EVERYONE LOOKS AT
EACH OTHER AND THEN AT MATILDA.)

SCENE 16 -. MISS HONEY’S HOME

Bruce&Mr phipps: Miss Honey invites Matilda to her very simple home, she does not
have any luxuries in her life. They have tea together and Miss Honey
tells Matilda her story - which will remind you of another one you’ve
heard:

Miss Honey: My father was a wonderful man called Magnus, he was a

performer, but he died when I was very young. And I was left with
my wicked aunt; she was very mean to me. When I got my job as
a teacher, she suddenly gave me a bill and asked me to pay her
for looking after me all those years.

Matilda: Miss Honey . . . is this your father’s scarf?

Miss Honey: Well, yes. My mother gave it to my father before she died. She
was -

Matilda: An acrobat.

Miss Honey: How did you . . . And my father was -

Matilda: A circus performer. Who is your aunt?

Miss Honey: You know her, Matilda. My aunt is

BOTH TOGETHER: Miss Trunchbull!!!

SCENE 17 -. SCHOOL (6) [SONG: REVOLTING CHILDREN]

Nigel: And the very same Miss Trunchbull is on the attack again,

13
 threatening to punish children in the chokey. But this time the
children are fighting back.

Trunchbull: What are you doing? What’s going on? Stop this!

** SONG: REVOLTING CHILDREN **

All: We are revolting children.

We sing revolting songs. We’ll be revolting children
‘Til our revolting’s done,
And we’ll have the Trunchbull bolting. We are revolting!

Trunchbull: I will punish you! I’ll put you all in chokey! Every one of you!

Nigel: The chalk! Look, the chalk, it’s moving! It’s writing something!
(Reading) ‘Trunchbull, this is Magnus! Give my daughter Miss
Honey, her house back. And then leave. Or I will kill you like you
killed me!

You better Run!

Everyone
together: RUN!!!

(THEY ALL SUDDENLY LOOK AT MATILDA)

SCENE 18 - ENDING

Bruce&Doctor: At long last and after a great deal of trouble, justice triumphs and we
have a happy ending to this story. The Police found out that Mr
Wormwood was trying to fool them, and so Mr and Mrs Wormwood
are forced to leave town. Miss Honey is now wealthy; as she has
the money back she was forced to give to Trunchbull and is living in a
big house. She has a special request to ask Mr and Mrs
Wormwood:

Miss Honey: Let Matilda stay here with me! I would look after her with love
and respect and care and I’d pay for everything. Would you
like that, Matilda?

Matilda: Yes! Yes I would!

Mr. Wormwood: Well, we do need to leave town so . . .

(MR AND MRS WORMWOOD RUN AWAY. MATILDA AND MISS

HONEY HUG EACH OTHER)

- THE END

14
Matilda
Song Lyrics

15
Naughty Lyrics

Verse 1
Jack and Jill, went up the hill Chorus
To fetch a pail of water, so they Just because you find that life's
say not fair it
Their subsequent fall was Doesn't mean that you just have
inevitable to grin and bear it
They never stood a chance, they If you always take it on the chin
were written that way and wear it
Innocent victims of their story Nothing will change.
Even if you're little, you can do a
Verse 2 lot, you
Like Romeo and Juliet Mustn't let a little thing like, 'little'
T'was written in the stars before stop you
they even met If you sit around and let them get
That love and fate, and a touch on top,
of stupidity you might as well be saying
Would rob them of their hope of You think that it's okay
living happily And that's not right!
The endings are often a little bit
gory Outro
I wonder why they didn't just But nobody else is gonna put it
change their story? right for me
nobody but me is gonna change
Pre-Chorus my story
We're told we have to do what sometimes you have to be a little
we're told but surely bit naughty.
Sometimes you have to be a little
bit naughty.

16
School Song Lyrics
Back before my life had ended
VARIOUS YOUNG STUDENTS (N-ded)
(scared) Before my happy days were over
- My Mummy says I'm a miracle! (O-ver)
- My Daddy says I'm his special Before I first heard the pealing of
little girl! the bell (P-ling)
- I am a Princess Like you I was curious (Q-rious)
- And I am a Star So innocent I asked a thousand
- Mum says I'm an angel questions (R-sked)
- Mum says I'm an angel But unless you want to suffer
- Mum says I'm an angel listen up (unl-S)
And I will teach you, a thing or
OLDER STUDENTS two (T-ch)
So you think you're able (A-ble) You listen here, my dear (U)
To survive this mess by being a You'll be punished so severely
Prince or a Princess (B-ing) (se-Vre-ly)
You will soon see (C) If you step out of line, and if you
There's no escaping tragedy cry,
(trage-D) it will be double, you should stay
And even (E-ven) out of trouble (W)
If you put in heaps of effort And remember to be eX-treme-ly
(F-ort) care-ful
You're just wasting energy
(ener-G) YOUNG STUDENT
'Cause your life as you know it is Why? Why? (Y)
ancient history (H-ent)
I, have suffered in this jail OLDER STUDENT
(I and J-l) Why? Did you hear what he
I've been trapped inside this said?
cage for ages (K-ge)
This living 'ell (L) OLDER STUDENTS
But if I try I can remember (rem- Just you wait for Phys-ed (Phy-
M-ber) Z) 17
YOUNG STUDENTS
What's Phys-ed?

OLDER STUDENTS
Physical Education!

ALL
A,B,C,D,E,F,G,H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O,
P,Q,R,S,T,U,V,W,X
Y,Y,Y,Y,Y,Y,Y,Y

Just you wait for Phys-ed!

18
Bruce Lyrics
TRUNCHBULL Chorus
Eat. (KIDS GROUP 1) Verse 2
He can't! I think in effect
KID This must confirm,
He surely can't! (KIDS GROUP 2) Bruce,
He can! Bruce! What we all
TRUNCHBULL suspected -
Eat. (KIDS GROUP 1) You have a worm,
He surely can't! Bruce,
THREE KIDS Or maybe your
He surely can’t! (KIDS GROUP 2) largeness
He surely can! Is a bit like a
TRUNCHBULL TARDIS,
Eat. (TOGETHER) Considerably
You are the man, roomier inside.
KID Bruce!
He might explode! Chorus
(KIDS GROUP 1) (KIDS GROUP 1)
TRUNCHBULL He might explode! He can't!
E-E-E-AT!
(KIDS GROUP 2) (KIDS GROUP 2)
Verse 1 He's quite elastic. He can! Bruce!
A single slice
Or even two, Bruce, (KIDS GROUP 1) (KIDS GROUP 1)
Might've been nice He's going to blow! He surely can't!
But even you, Make him stop!
Bruce, (KIDS GROUP 2)
Have to admit (KIDS GROUP 2) He surely can!
Between you and it He's fantastic! Look
There's not a lot of at him go! (KIDS GROUP 1)
difference in size. You are the man,
(KIDS GROUP 2) Bruce!
I can't watch! 19
(KIDS GROUP 2)
B-R-O- You'll never again
(KIDS GROUP1) be subject to abuse
O-C-E For your immense
(TOGETHER) caboose.
Bruce! She'll call a truce,
Bruce.
Verse 3 Just one more bite
The time has come and you'll have
to put that tumbly Completely cooked
tum to use, her goose.
No excuse, Bruce, We never thought it
Let out your belt, I was possible
think you'll want But here it is coming
your trousers loose. true:
We can have our
O-o-h, stuff it in! cake and eat it...
You're almost (TOGETHER)
finished! ahh ahh ahh ahh...
You'll fit it in!
Whatever you do, HONEY
just don't give in! Go on, Brucey!
Don't let her win!

Come on Bruce, be
our hero,
Cover yourself in
choc - l-a-ate glor-r-
y!

MATILDA
Go on, Bruce. Do it!

KIDS
O-O-O-O-h Bruce! 20
Revolting Children Lyrics

Whoa! 'Cause we're a little bit naughty!

Never again will she get the best of me. You say we ought to stay inside the line.
Never again will she take away my freedom But if we disobey at the same time,
And never again will I doubt it There is nothing that the Trunchbull can do!
when my mum says I’m a miracle! She can take her hammer and S-H(-U).
(Never again!) You didn't think you could push us too far,
Never again will we live behind bars, But there's no going back now, we (are)...
Never again now that we know

Chorus TOGETHER
We are revolting children R-E-V-O-L-T-I-N
Living in revolting times
We sing revolting songs KID 7
Using revolting rhymes. Come on!
We'll be revolting children,
'Til our revolting's done, TOGETHER
And we’ll have the trunchbull bolting We’ll S-I-N-G
We’re revolting! U-S-I-N-G...
(repeat) We'll be R-E-V-O-L-T-I-N-G.
It is 2-L-8-4-U.
KID 1 We are revolting!
We will become a screaming horde!
Chorus (Key Change)
KID 2 We are revolting children
Take out your hockey stick and use it as a Living in revolting times
sword! We sing revolting songs
Using revolting rhymes.
KID 3 We'll be revolting children,
Never again will we be ignored! 'Til our revolting's done
It's 2-L-8-4-U *
KID 4 We are revolting children
We’ll find out where the chalk is stored! Living in revolting times
We sing revolting songs
KID 5 Using revolting rhymes.
And draw rude pictures on the board We'll be revolting children,
'Til our revolting's done,
KID 6 It's 2-L-8-4-U
It’s not insulting! We are revolting!

TOGETHER
We’re revolting!

Verse 1
We can S-P-L how we like!
If enough of us are wrong,
Wrong is right! *too late for you 21
Every word N-O-R-T-Y...