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Module 2 Recap

Module 2 discusses the concept of social scripts that govern interpersonal relationships, highlighting the importance of awareness and the potential to author one's own scripts. It also covers attachment theory, emphasizing how early experiences shape adult relationships and the possibility of changing unhealthy patterns. Additionally, the module addresses the significance of first impressions, self-help strategies for relationship tensions, and techniques for improving self-confidence and impression management.

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beatriz silva
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20 views3 pages

Module 2 Recap

Module 2 discusses the concept of social scripts that govern interpersonal relationships, highlighting the importance of awareness and the potential to author one's own scripts. It also covers attachment theory, emphasizing how early experiences shape adult relationships and the possibility of changing unhealthy patterns. Additionally, the module addresses the significance of first impressions, self-help strategies for relationship tensions, and techniques for improving self-confidence and impression management.

Uploaded by

beatriz silva
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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1

Module 2
Lecture Notes

Here are some of the important concepts that we’ve covered in


Unclear about
Module 2.
something? Discuss
with your fellow peers Social Scripts
in the discussion
Social Scripts: Just like actors in the theatre, human beings follow socially constructed
board! “scripts”. These scripts will govern the way we conduct ourselves and live our lives.

- These scripts are often unspoken and not written


- Most people in a given community would have some awareness of these scripts
and knowingly or unknowingly following them
- We do not all choose to follow the same scripts, but certain ones are more
dominant and more easily accessible
- For example, a dominant script in Western cultures usually covers the
following: showing interest, dating, getting to know each other, proposing,
getting married, and so on.

Scripts will also govern how we negotiate


relationships. It’s good to at least be aware
that you are following certain scripts. If
possible, ask yourself why you are
following those scripts and consider
whether these guidelines are helping to
achieve your needs.

That it is possible to author your own


relationship script, but this process can
require considerable energy, creativity, and
courage – not to mention another actor(s)
who is willing to collaborate on this script!

©2016 Ka Tat Tsang. All Rights Reserved. The contents of this document cannot be reproduced without prior permission.
2

Social Scripts and Traps


Each society subscribes to different social scripts (concept mentioned in Module1). Most
of these popular scripts have “traps” that are unrealistic, idealistic, or otherwise
unhealthy for the relationship. In many ways, they do not take into account the lived
experiences and diversity that exists within and throughout relationships.

The trap of consumerism is dominant across Western relationship scripts. It is used as a


means for partners to express love and affection, but is it really the most effective? For
instance, we spend thousands on engagement parties and glamorous weddings, but how
much do these actually contribute to the health of a relationship?

Attachment Theory
Attachment Theory (Mary Ainsworth & John
Bowlby): Early childhood experiences (such as
one’s relationship with primary caregiver) will have
a lasting impression on a person’s adult
understanding of the world and future relationships.

According to this theory, people with unhealthy


attachment styles in earlier life are likely to end up
repeating similar patterns with their partners due to
internalized ideas and feelings about themselves
and relationships.

Insecure attachment patterns can be changed. Using an SSLD perspective, for instance,
allows us to reflect on our N3C, which may help us to identify what needs are not being
met and to work on strategies that will allow us to modify our cognitive, emotional, and
behavioral patterns that maintain the cycle of unhealthy relationships.

Game Plan
Spontaneity and Self-determination

It’s important to have a good understanding of you and your partners’ N3Cs, the
functions of relationships, and your goals within the relationship (that is, having a “game
plan”). When we have that understanding, the relationship should not feel overly
predictable or deterministic – in fact it should be empowering! A strong game plan will
actually allow you to be more spontaneous in your relationship (if this is something that
you want). Just like skiing, once you have learnt the basics, you can go have fun, take
chances, and carve your own path. Game plans will also allow you to be more prepared
for the challenges that come your way.

©2016 Ka Tat Tsang. All Rights Reserved. The contents of this document cannot be reproduced without prior permission.
3

Initial Contact
This section of the module required students to be critical and reflect on some important
topics that we seem to take for granted when it comes to the beginning stages of
interpersonal relationships.

First impressions make a difference. But when you get ready in the morning, consider
whom it is that you’re trying to look good for. What message do you want to present to
others? And who exactly are those “others”, anyway? The same appearance, tone, and
attitude can send a very different message depending on the context and the person
receiving this message.

Are physical characteristics the only ingredient for interpersonal attraction? What other
traits make us desirable to others? How can we change both the individual and societal
understandings around beauty?

Self-Help Tip:
If differences in the relationship are causing tension, we would want to sit the couple down
to talk about it. Perhaps on the material level, wants and interests appear to be different. But
through gaining a greater empathic understanding of our partners’ underlying needs and
values, we may begin to see more similarities than we initially thought.

Impression Management

One’s feelings of confidence and self-efficacy will impact others’ perception of how
attractive (or interesting, smart, funny, exciting) you are.

Sometimes a change in context/environment will


contribute to our feelings of self-confidence. Other times,
we can use our bodies to portray this sense of self-
assurance to both others and ourselves (e.g. Power
Posing!)

Positive Reframing: Finding the silver lining in what we


initially would have perceived as a negative situation.

Positive self-statements: a technique whereby one can


make optimistic declarations about him/herself. Can be
about the past, present, or future. Allows us to see the
positive qualities in ourselves and preserve/enhance self-
confidence.

“Keep telling yourself that you’re worthwhile”


©2016 Ka Tat Tsang. All Rights Reserved. The contents of this document cannot be reproduced without prior permission.

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