Example of good academic writing: level 5

This extract is based on a critique of a research article.

Verdi (2007) focuses on the views of the nurses when they care for older people with
dementia in an acute care setting. The researcher conducted interviews with experienced
hhwin7setup 2/6/2016 17:41
nurses in a small scale study. The nurses found it challenging to meet the needs of this Comment [1]: Research clearly
group of patients, mostly because of their other duties in the ward. The conclusion was that outlined and cited
hhwin7setup 2/6/2016 17:42
the environment was not suitable for these patients. Comment [2]: Good that the method
and sample are noted
The critiquing framework for qualitative research developed by Donmar (2014) was used to hhwin7setup 2/6/2016 17:43
critique the sample in this study. According to Houseman (2014), being able to critically Comment [3]: Good that the findings
of the study are noted
analyse the sample can assist in establishing how this adds to the quality and strengths of
the study. The author clearly identifies their sample as a purposive sample of seven female
hhwin7setup 2/6/2016 17:44
nurses. Pridi and Koosters (2014) describe purposive sampling as a non-probability Comment [4]: Justification for this
sampling which means there is no random sampling. Khan (2010) suggests that using aspect of this paper

purposive sampling ensures selection of those that have experience and knowledge in the
phenomenon. Although the sample can be subject to bias as it relies on the researcher’s
judgement (Puccini, 2015), Wagner (2014) suggests there is a higher chance of bias in the
selection only if the population is more diverse.
hhwin7setup 2/6/2016 17:45
Comment [5]: Evidence supplied to
support the topic under discussion
hhwin7setup 2/6/2016 17:48
The researcher chose these participants because they met the expectations of the research.
Comment [6]: Good points made on
Rossini (2013) explains that to be eligible for research, the participants have to meet specific bias and supported by evidence

criteria and Jones et al. (2007) suggest participants should be chosen because of their
experience. In this study, the participants were all registered general nurses with different
hhwin7setup 2/6/2016 18:37
levels of education and experience of nursing older people with dementia. Therefore, it is Comment [7]: Good evidence to link
clear that participants had the experience in the subject area and were appropriate for the into the specific example from the research.

study.

According to the critiquing framework, sample sizes in qualitative research are usually
small. Lambert (2013) explains that there is no agreed sample size for qualitative research
as there are no rules on how small or large a sample should be. It is more important to
obtain good quality information to ensure meaningful analysis and Dully et al (2014) suggest
that having a small but appropriately chosen sample can lead to collection of information that
is relevant to the study. In this study, the researcher used a small sample size of seven
nurses. Bryant (2013) states that having a large sample size in qualitative research is often
hhwin7setup 2/6/2016 18:38
not necessary and it does not show quality or importance. Comment [8]: An example from the
study is used, therefore showing the
This is an example of good academic writing at Level 5. The introduction application.
clearly maps out the content of the essay and is followed by a clear and
informative first paragraph.

This essay will elaborate on chlamydia as a health issue and discuss the health promotion
activity recently conducted in an attempt to raise awareness. The essay will include an
assessment of health needs, based on the epidemiology and demographics of chlamydia.
hhwin7setup 19/8/2016 14:18
This will lead to the selection of a specific target group, explaining why health promotion is Comment [9]: It is good to identify the
needed for this group. Also, it will discuss essential factors, relevant policies, and details of the evidence.

Bradshaw’s model of needs (1972). It will explain why the educational approach was
selected and it will discuss the strengths and limitations of this approach. Finally, it will
evaluate the resources used, the data collected and will consider possible improvements to
the health promotion activity.
hhwin7setup 19/8/2016 10:27
Chlamydia remains the most common sexually transmitted infection in the western world Comment [10]: This is a good
introduction that maps out clearly the content
(Hardy, 2015). It is passed on through unprotected vaginal, anal or oral sex, infecting the of the essay. Also, there is a good use of
signposting words and phrases to guide the
epithelium tissue that lines the urinary and reproductive tracts (Philips & Jones, 2014). reader.
Philips and Jones (2014) further explain that chlamydia can cause symptoms such as
discharge and pyrexia. In addition, the long term health consequences are significant and
include infertility, ectopic pregnancies and inflammation of the epididymis and testes (Cayse
& Musil, 2016). This shows the importance of health promotion in preventing this condition.
hhwin7setup 19/8/2016 10:28
Comment [11]: A very good first
paragraph summarising briefly the significance
of chlamydia in terms of prevalence,
symptoms and long term health
consequences. A variety of sources has been
used.
hhwin7setup 19/8/2016 15:21
Comment [12]: A good concluding
sentence to the paragraph.