THE BIG IDEAS The Four Agreements

The Domestication
A Toltec Wisdom Book
Of humans. BY DON MIGUEL RUIZ · AMBER-ALLEN PUBLISHING © 1997 · 138 PAGES

1st Agreement:
Be impeccable with your word.

2nd Agreement:
Don’t take anything personally. “You need a very strong will in order to adopt the Four Agreements—but if you
can begin to live your life with these agreements, the transformation in your life
3rd Agreement:
Don’t make assumptions. will be amazing. You will see the drama of hell disappear right before your very
4th Agreement: eyes. Instead of living in a dream of hell, you will be creating a new dream—your
Always do your best. personal dream of heaven.”
The First Step ~ Don Miguel Ruiz from The Four Agreements
Toward freedom.
The Four Agreements. Love ‘em:
We Stop Ourselves
Let’s not blame others.
“The First Agreement: Be Impeccable with Your Word
Breaking Domestication The Second Agreement: Don’t Take Anything Personally
Step-by-step.
The Third Agreement: Don’t Make Assumptions
Repetition The Fourth Agreement: Always Do Your Best”
Makes the master.
This is a really simple, really cool, really powerful book—one of the earlier books I read on my
own journey and one I think you’ll enjoy as well if you haven’t already read it!

Let’s take a peek at some of the Big Ideas Don Miguel Ruiz introduces us to in this book of Toltec
wisdom, shall we?! :)

THE DOMESTICATION OF HUMANS

“Children are domesticated the same way that we domesticate a dog, a cat, or any other animal.
“Death is not the biggest
In order to teach a dog we punish the dog and we give it rewards. We train our children
fear we have; our biggest
whom we love so much the same way that we train any domesticated animal: with a system of
fear is taking the risk to be
punishment and reward. We are told, ‘You’re a good boy,’ or ‘You’re a good girl,’ when we do
alive—the risk to be alive and
what Mom and Dad want us to do. When we don’t, we are a ‘bad girl’ or a ‘bad boy.’”
express what we really are.”
Ah, the domestication process. :)
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
In Thus Spoke Zarathustra (see Notes) Nietzsche tells us that: “Society tames the wolf into a
dog. And man is the most domesticated animal of all.”

And, Carlos Castaneda, another great teacher who introduces us to the ancient Toltec wisdom
(see Notes on The Wheel of Time), tells us that the purpose of the warrior (the ideal person in the
Toltec tradition) is to transcend social conditioning as we discover our personal power and learn
to live with clear intent and impeccability.

The Four Agreements are pretty much an awesome guide on how to do exactly that!

1ST AGREEMENT: BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD

“The first agreement is the most important one and also the most difficult one to honor. It is so
important that with just this first agreement you will be able to transcend to the level of existence
I call heaven on earth. The first agreement is to be impeccable with your word. It sounds very
simple, but it is very, very powerful.”

1 PhilosophersNotes | The Four Agreements

 Being impeccable with our word. This is big.
“When you make it a strong
habit not to take anything First, let’s look at how Ruiz defines the word impeccability: “Impeccability means ‘without sin.’
personally, you avoid many Impeccable comes from the Latin pecatus, which means ‘sin.’ The im in impeccable means
upsets in your life. Your ‘without,’ so impeccable means ‘without sin.’ Religions talk about sin and sinners, but let’s

anger, jealousy, and envy

understand what it really means to sin. A sin is anything that you do which goes against yourself.
Everything you feel or believe or say that goes against yourself is a sin. You go against yourself
will disappear, and even
when you judge or blame yourself for anything. Being without sin is exactly the opposite. Being
your sadness will simply
impeccable is not going against yourself. When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for
disappear if you don’t take
your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.”
things personally.”
Brilliant.
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
So when we’re impeccable, we don’t use our word against ourselves indulging in guilt or shame.
We also don’t use our word against others in blaming, criticizing or gossiping. We also honor our
commitments and only make commitments we intend to follow through on.

How’re you doing on those fronts?

In The Diamond Cutter (see Notes), Geshe Michael Roach talks about the fact that in Tibet
they don’t even have a word for “guilt.” As he says: “There’s no word in Tibetan for ‘guilty.’ The
closest thing is ‘intelligent regret that decides to do things differently.’”

Geshe Roach also describes blame/criticism/complaining/etc. as “useless talk.” It depletes us of

energy and wires our brains in ways we don’t wanna be wired. So, uh, let’s get impeccable with
our word and stop all blame and criticism—of ourselves and others; and, while we’re at it, let’s
get rid of all the complaining and gossip as well! :)

Now, let’s address being impeccable with our word as it relates to commitments.

Do you honor your commitments? When you say you’re going to do something, do you *really*
intend to follow through and then DO you? Or, do you kinda say “Yes” to every request because
you think you need to and you figure you can always flake later? We’ve all said “Yes” too often
when a polite “No” would’ve been more appropriate but let’s practice honoring our word and the
commitments we make, shall we?!

(While we’re on the subject of sin, did you know that, according to Wikipedia: “in the biblical
Hebrew, the generic word for sin is het. It means to err, to miss the mark. It does not mean to
do evil.” Paulo Coelho (see Notes) talks about the fact that to sin, from this perspective, is kinda
like an archer missing the bulls-eye. Cool, eh?)

2ND AGREEMENT: DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY

“Whatever happens around you, don’t take it personally… if I see you on the street and say,
‘Hey, you are so stupid,’ without knowing you, it’s not about you; it’s about me. If you take it
personally, then perhaps you believe you are stupid. Maybe you think to yourself, ‘How does he
“Write this agreement on
know? Is he clairvoyant, or can everybody see how stupid I am?’”
paper, and put it on your
refrigerator to remind you all This is another theme that all the great teachers come back to again and again and again (and
the time: Don’t take anything again :).
personally.” How about some Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Deepak Chopra?
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
Marcus Aurelius (see Notes on Meditations) reminds us not to worry about the opinion of other
people who don’t even have a good opinion of themselves! He tells us: “The approval of such
men, who do not even stand well in their own eyes, has no value for him.”

And Seneca (see Notes on Letters from a Stoic) reminds us that the world is so inconsistent in
its opinions we should just be done with it. He says: “Away with the world’s opinion of you, it’s

2 PhilosophersNotes | The Four Agreements

 always unsettled and divided.”
“When you transform your
whole dream, magic just While Ervin Seale (see Notes on Take Off from Within) reminds us: “There is one recurring,
happens in your life. What persistent, perennial, and dogging personal problem which, more than any other, steals the
you need comes to you force and peace of people and ruins projects and enterprises and careers. It is the habit of

easily because spirit moves

feeling hurt because of what others do or do not do and what they say or do not say.”

freely through you. This Deepak Chopra (see Notes on The Spontaneous Fulfillment of Desire) has a mantra I’ve said
is the mastery of intent, thousands of times:
the mastery of spirit, the
I’m totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.
mastery of love, the mastery I’m totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.
of gratitude, and the mastery I’m totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.
of life. This is the goal of I’m totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.
the Toltec. This is the path I’m totally independent of the good or bad opinion of others.
to personal freedom.”
Why is this such a big deal?
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
Because, as Don Miguel Ruiz says: “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because
of themselves.”

Let’s think about it. Imagine interacting with the same person in two different situations.

First: the person had an AWESOME day—they got a great night of sleep, won the lottery and
every other thing that could’ve possibly gone well for them unfolded. They’re feelin’ great. How
do you think they’re gonna treat us? Probably pretty well, eh?

Now, same person. This time, they got a really bad night of sleep, lost their job, got in a car
accident, didn’t eat all day long and every other annoying thing that could’ve happened,
happened. Not in such a good mood. How do you think they’re gonna treat us now? Prolly no
where near as well as when they’re rested, happy and all that jazz, eh?

The important thing to note here is that WE were exactly the same in both situations. But if we
base our opinion of ourselves on how someone else treats us, we’re in trouble.

Again, as Ruiz says: “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves.”

3RD AGREEMENT: DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS

“We have the tendency to make assumptions about everything. The problem with making
assumptions is that we believe they are the truth. We could swear they are real. We make
assumptions about what others are doing or thinking—we take it personally—then we blame
them and react by sending emotional poison with our word. That is why when we make
assumptions, we’re asking for problems. We make an assumption, we misunderstand, we take it
personally, and we end up creating a whole big drama for nothing.”

Well, there ya go!

The third agreement: Don’t make assumptions.

Are you making any assumptions about what someone’s thinking or doing? Can you see how
the drama factor can go down *dramatically* (pun intended) if we just have the courage to ask
what’s up?

As Ruiz says: “The way to keep yourself from making assumptions is to ask questions. Make sure
the communication is clear. If you don’t understand, ask. Have the courage to ask questions until
you are as clear as you can be.”

So… Let’s identify where we’re making some assumptions and have the courage to ask ‘em what’s
up and get out of the drama of assumption-ville, shall we?!? :)

PhilosophersNotes | The Four Agreements 3

 4TH AGREEMENT: ALWAYS DO YOUR BEST
“There is just one more agreement, but it’s the one that allows the other three to become deeply
ingrained habits. The fourth agreement is about the action of the first three: Always do your best.”

Ruiz continues: “Under any circumstance, always do your best, no more and no less. But keep
in mind that your best is never going to be the same from one moment to the next. Everything
is alive and changing all the time, so your best will sometimes be high quality, and other times it
will not be as good.”

Sweet.

We need to always do our best if we want to bring the other three agreements alive.

And, of course, sometimes we’ll be *totally* on and our best will be rock star rockin’ and other
times we might be a little tired and our best won’t be quite as stellar. It’s all good.

Let’s take a look at some other Big Ideas related to doing our best—from the Greek ideal of Areté
(pronounced “are-uh-tay”) to Tony Robbins’ “CANI!” to the Japanese concept of Kaizen.

We’ll start with Areté. It’s one of my favorite words and ideals. In fact, the site I had before
PhilosophersNotes (and Zaadz) was called “thinkArete.” :)

As I’ve mentioned in other Notes, in classic Greece, peeps like Socrates, Plato and Aristotle
“Nobody abuses us more said that if we want to live with happiness we need to live with Areté—a word that translates as
than we abuse ourselves.” “excellence” or “virtue” but has a deeper meaning, something closer to “striving to do your best
moment to moment to moment.”
~ Don Miguel Ruiz
Think about it. When what you’re doing is less than what you’re capable of doing—and I’m
not talking about what you “should” be doing here, but what your Highest Self *knows* you’re
capable of—there’s a gap. And, in that gap is where depression and anxiety and disillusionment
hang out.

When we close that gap by doing our best, there’s no room for the angst/negative schtuff/etc.
and we feel REALLY good. Yah?

Again, our best will vary but let’s thinkArete! :)

Tony Robbins has an awesome concept he calls “CANI!”—Constant and Never Ending
Improvement. When we show up committed to doing our best and practice CANI!, we’re on an
incredible upward trend where our best keeps on getting better.

(And last time I checked, that’s a good thing. :)

And, finally, you heard of “kaizen”? Marci Shimoff describes it this way in her great book Happy
for No Reason (see Notes): “To make the quickest progress, you don’t have to take huge leaps.
You just have to take baby steps—and keep on taking them. In Japan, they call this approach
kaizen, which literally translates as ‘continual improvement.’ Using kaizen, great and lasting
success is achieved through small, consistent steps. It turns out that slow and steady is the best
way to overcome your resistance to change.”

THE FIRST STEP TOWARD FREEDOM

“The first step toward personal freedom is awareness. We need to be aware that we are not free
in order to be free. We need to be aware of what the problem is in order to solve the problem.”

I love that.

How can you change something you don’t know needs changing?

4 PhilosophersNotes | The Four Agreements

 As Seneca says (see Notes on Letters from a Stoic): “The worse a person is the less he feels it.”
“If you want to live a life
of joy and fulfillment, you
have to find the courage to And Vernon Howard (see Notes on The Power of Your Supermind) tells us: “Encourage
break those agreements that yourself by remembering that any detection of negativity within you is a positive act, not a
are fear-based and claim negative one. Awareness of your weakness and confusion makes you strong because conscious
your personal power.” awareness is the bright light that destroys the darkness of negativity. Honest self-observation
~ Don Miguel Ruiz dissolves pains and pressures that formerly did their dreadful work in the darkness of
unawareness. This is so important that I urge you to memorize and reflect upon the following
summary: Detection of inner negativity is not a negative act, but a courageously positive act
that makes you a new person.”

So, let’s bring some awareness to our quest for personal freedom.

These are the Top 5 things I *know* need some work from me:
1. _______________________________________________________________
2. _______________________________________________________________
3. _______________________________________________________________
4. _______________________________________________________________
5. _______________________________________________________________

(Well done. :)

WE STOP OURSELVES
“Who stops us from being free? We blame the government, we blame the weather, we blame
our parents, we blame religion, we blame God. Who really stops us from being free? We
stop ourselves.”

Reminds me of Joseph Campbell (see Notes on The Power of Myth): “Freud tells us to blame
our parents for all the shortcomings of our life, Marx tells us to blame the upper class of our
society. But the only one to blame is oneself.”

Let’s get out of our own way and rock it, shall we?

BREAKING DOMESTICATION STEP-BY-STEP

“There are many strong beliefs in the mind that can make this process look hopeless. This is why
you need to go step-by-step and be patient with yourself because this is a slow process. The way
you are living now is the result of many years of domestication. You cannot expect to break the
domestication in one day.”

Patience.

I’ve heard it’s a virtue! :)

I don’t know about you, but I often want things to change kinda quickly.

Realizing that all things (especially great things!) tend to take time, I’ve been blissfully
developing my patience.

Here are a couple of my favorite thoughts on the matter:

Epictetus (see Notes on The Enchiridion) teaches us: “No great thing is created suddenly, any
more than a bunch of grapes or a fig. If you tell me that you desire a fig, I answer you that
there must be time. Let it first blossom, then bear fruit, then ripen.”

PhilosophersNotes | The Four Agreements 5

 And James Arthur Ray (see Notes on Harmonic Wealth) reminds us: “Everything has a
gestation period, a time period that must pass before things will come into form. If you plant a
carrot seed, it takes about seven weeks for the sprout to make its above-dirt entrance. Bamboo,
which can grow up to thirteen feet in as little as one week, takes up to seven years to break
through the surface of the ground. But for seven long years it looks like absolutely nothing’s
happening. Now that takes some commitment.”

How about you? Feeling a little impatient about your growth?

Let’s chillax and just take it step-by-step and enjoy the journey! :)

REPETITION MAKES THE MASTER

“All of these old agreements which rule our dream of life are the result of repeating them over
and over again. Therefore, to adopt the Four Agreements, you need to put repetition into action.
Practicing the new agreements in your life is how your best becomes better. Repetition makes
the master.”

Repetition, repetition, repetition. It’s the stuff of Mastery.

As Aristotle tells us: “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.”

Let’s remember to practice these new agreements again and again and again and watch our best
get better and better and better!

Brian Johnson,
Chief Philosopher

If you liked this Note, About the Author of “The Four Agreements”
you’ll probably like… DON MIGUEL RUIZ
Don Miguel Ruiz was born into a family of healers and raised in rural Mexico
The Wheel of Time
by a curandera (healer) mother and nagual (shaman) grandfather. The family
Letters from a Stoic anticipated don Miguel would embrace their centuries old legacy of healing and
Meditations teaching and as a nagual, carry forward the esoteric Toltec knowledge. Instead,
Tony Robbins distracted by modern life, don Miguel chose to attend medical school and later
teach and practice as a surgeon. Don Miguel began teaching in the United States,
Paulo Coelho
with his mother, the Curandera, Sarita in 1987 and over the following years
distilled the wisdom that became The Four Agreements. (Adapted from his site
where you can learn more about Don Miguel Ruiz and his son Don Jose Ruiz:
MiguelRuiz.com!)

About the Author of This Note

BRIAN JOHNSON

Brian Johnson loves helping people optimize their lives as he studies, embodies
and teaches the fundamentals of optimal living—integrating ancient wisdom
+ modern science + common sense + virtue + mastery + fun. Learn more and
optimize your life at brianjohnson.me.

6 PhilosophersNotes | The Four Agreements