NAPLAN Writing Strategies - Narrative

Here is a basic formula for successful NAPLAN narratives. Following, there is a table with suggestions for
‘value adding’ to aim for higher scores.

The ‘swoosh’ narrative

Rules:

• Your story has only four sections

• Your story has two or three characters
• Stick to Aristotle’s ‘three unities’: explore just a single time, place and action
• Your protagonist must grow or change because of some catalyst (this catalyst can be a character or
an event)
• You don’t need a resolution, but one should be implied (the reader should be able to anticipate
how the story will end)

4. Climactic Resolution

1. Inciting incident

3. Rising action

2. Backfill

1. Inciting incident: start in media res, in the middle of action, to grip your reader’s attention and
engage them
2. Backfill: with careful signposting, provide the back story as to how the characters arrived in this
situation
3. Rising action: build tension, progress the plot towards the climax
4. Climactic resolution: finish at a high point of tension, but one where the reader can imagine how
the rest of the story plays out
Example 1 4. The other driver approaches. John
stands up, enraged. The driver is
shadowed by their car’s rear lights,
indistinct. They get closer. John steps
forward towards the driver, fists
clenched. They reach the light from the
streetlamp.…
Play around with who the driver might
be.

1. Open with the sound of

approaching sirens and the
stench of petrol in the air.
John is cradling his wife Lucy
by the side of the road after a
car accident. She is begging
him not to leave her.

3. Lucy starts greying out. John is

shaking her, frantic. He reminds
her of their life together,
reminiscing over past joys, future
plans they had made etc. Then
she goes limp. A car door slams.
2. Earlier, they were arguing in the car on
their way home from a family dinner. They
were speeding angrily along the dark or
wet roads. Play with audience sympathies
by considering who was driving, who was
yelling and what the argument was over.

4. There is an aggressive banging at

Example 2 the door. Callum and his mother
look at each other. She goes to the
door and opens it to find soldiers in
combat uniforms standing on the
other side.

1. Open with the sound of

gunfire and voices yelling
military commands. Callum
eyes an enemy soldier,
getting him in his laser sights.
He pulls the trigger and the
soldier drops to the ground.

3. Grumbling, Callum turns down the

volume and returns to his game. A
phone rings, snatches of one-sided
conversation are heard. Mum’s voice
becomes increasingly concerned. Callum
flicks her a couple of looks but continues
playing. Mum puts down the phone and
2. Callum calls out in excitement. A makes him turn off the game, switching
voice – his mother - asks him to turn it on the TV instead. News flash: civil war
down. We realise he is playing a video (or some other conflict) has broken out.
game in the living room of his home.
Value adding
These tips come from the descriptors for the top of the range for each criterion in NAPLAN Narrative
Marking Guide.

Criteria Tips Examples

• Aim for an audience who are not your peers • Write a story to interest your older sibling
• Have an ending that surprises or subverts • Put a twist in the tail of your tale
expectations of the genre • Try to make your reader feel tense and
Audience • Aim to make an emotional impact on your anxious, sad and sympathetic, warm and fuzzy,
reader – decide at the beginning how you want or amused and happy
your reader to feel and select language that
provokes that reaction
• The ‘swoosh’ structure manipulates time, • Use flashback to show your character got into
avoiding a purely linear structure this situation, or to reveal a past secret
• Even if you don’t use it, incorporate • Finish on a cliff-hanger – have an ending where
Text foreshadowing or flashbacks to reveal details your character faces something surprising or
• Experiment with cliff-hanger endings (see unexpected
Structure example 2 above) but make sure the reader can
reasonably assume what will happen next
• Experiment with different plot structures –
parallel or circular (can be difficult in the short
time frame though)
• Identify a clear theme that you want your reader • Start with a well-known theme (e.g. the
to come away with before you start writing importance of friends) but add a twist to make
• Make sure your theme stems from the stimulus! it your own (the main character is a runaway
Ideas
• Add a twist or development to your theme to and the best friend is a stray dog)
take it beyond cliché to something original • Make your theme the same lesson your
• Make sure your idea or theme is apparent to the protagonist learns
reader – but never just state it directly!
• Use sensory imagery to establish a sense of place • Think about the feel of your story – dark and
– and the create a particular atmosphere scary, quiet and dreamy, fast-paced and
• Show, don’t tell – reveal character through exciting – and choose a setting to match
actions and others’ reactions • Use scent and sound as well as visual details
Character • Include correctly punctuated dialogue to add • If you’re character is angry, don’t use the word
and Setting character details angry – show their anger through them
• Include character thoughts and feelings stomping around the house, snapping at other
• Make sure your character grows or learns as a characters and silently fuming.
result of their experience
• Don’t forget to reveal who your narrator is –
especially in first person narratives
• Use figurative language – but sparingly and • Aim for two or three well-thought out similes
avoiding cliché or metaphors – but no more!
• Add descriptive detail with interesting verbs and • Personification can be a better option
Vocabulary nouns, not just loading up on adjectives and • Avoid clichés such as ‘it was as hot as an oven’
adverbs in favour of originality – ‘it felt like the desert
• Create unique voices in dialogue sun was roasting his eyeballs on a spit’
• Use appropriate connectives and transition • Use clear connections and transition markers
markers such as meanwhile, earlier, later on, just as,
• Avoid repetition of words – use synonyms even though etc.
Cohesion • Proofread to catch accidental shifts in tense • Use synonyms – if your story features a
threatening dog, use words like beast,
monster, canine, Alsatian or other breed),
vicious bag of drool and teeth
• Proofread to ensure there is a new paragraph for • Use a single sentence as a concluding
each shift in speaker, time, place, event or idea paragraph – great for cliff-hangers or a
Paragraphing • Use a couple of one sentence paragraphs to character’s final thought!
create dramatic effect – but only one or two! o It was then Lee realised he was never
making it home.
 o ‘Dad?’ Meg breathed. ‘Is that you?’
• Aim for a balance of simple, compound and • Swap phrases or clauses around for effect:
complex sentences o Bindi realised there was nowhere left to
• Use phrases to add in occasional extra bits of run as she heard a twig snap behind.
Sentence detail – and use commas to mark these in your o There was nowhere left to run, Bindi
structure sentence realised, as she heard a twig snap behind
• Avoid overuse of ‘and’ and ‘then’ her.
• Practise shifting clauses around in complex o As she heard a twig snap behind her, Bindi
sentences to give emphasis to particular details realised there was nowhere left to run.
• Punctuate dialogue correctly • Use dashes instead of commas to draw
• Avoid overusing exclamation marks attention to an important or interesting detail:
• Aim for two or three examples of complex o Art realised with dismay he was going to
Punctuation have to share his tent with the shaggy
punctuation (brackets, dashes, semicolons,
ellipses etc.) but don’t overuse any single one! dog – and his fleas!
• Proofread to avoid comma splicing
• Use 10+ difficult words • Swap in some difficult or challenging words
• Use a few challenging words during the editing stage:
Spelling • Proofread to check spelling, particularly of o ‘being watched’ to ‘under surveillance’
simple and common words o ‘very cold’ to ‘brutally cold’
o ‘yes, sir!’ to ‘yes, Lieutenant!’

The importance of the Writing Process

So much of these ‘value-adding’ tips arise from careful attention to the writing process:

• Planning
• Drafting
• Editing

When planning:

• Determine audience
• Determine purpose
o Emotional response you want from the reader
o The theme and ideas you want to share with the reader
• Plan the overall structure (the ‘swoosh’ or other structure)
When drafting:

• Remember to start with an engaging opening scene

• Remember to establish character, setting and inciting incident in the exposition
• Remember to paragraph
• Remember to add detail
When editing:

• Check spelling, punctuation and grammar

• Substitute more complex or nuanced words and sentence structures
• Check text connectives for cohesion
• Identify opportunities for additional detail

Finally, practise writing narratives in timed conditions and seek feedback!