CHAPTER EIGHT

INTRODUCTION TO LIFE SKILLS

Chapter Overview
Dear learners, you have been studying so far about the field of psychology as a science of
mind and behavior, factors affecting mind and behavior, the different components of mind
and behavior, and, then, problems relating to mind and behavior. Now, you need to examine
tools at our hands that help us prevent, improve, and manage mind and behavior for effective
psychological functioning. These tools are what we call ‗life skills‘. Life skills are very
important tools of success if you really give attention to develop them. Hence, you are
expected to equip yourself with these skills as much as possible. As an aid to this effort, you
are then to study in the remaining chapters about these skills. This chapter specifically
focuses on conception, goals and components of life skills. It has three major sections. The
first section addresses definition and notion of like skills. The second one presents goals of
life skills. The final section is about components of life skills.

Learning Appetizers

1. Try to think of the following fundamental questions about yourself.

 Who am I?
 Whom am I going to be?
 Am I working to achieve my life goals?
 Is my life channeled to my destination or I am just living instinctively?
Have you tried to organize your thinking of the answers for the questions? Good! If not, you
do not have to put yourself into stress for not knowing the answers. If you are committed to
get the answers, attend to the discussions in the subsequent chapters.

2. How much do you appreciate the following quotes?

 “We cannot solve our problems with the same thinking we used when we created them”
(Albert Einstein).
 “Before, you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you
are not, in fact, surrounded by [exasperations]” Sigmund Freud.
 “He[she] who decides a case without hearing the other side, though he[she] decide
justly, cannot be considered just” Seneca.

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Learning Outcomes

At the end of this chapter, you will be able to:

 Define life skills
 Describe features of life skills
 Identify components of life skill, and
 Give illustrative examples of life skills and analyze its features

8.1. Nature and Definition of Life skills

Brain storming Question

 Can you define life skills? Try to define it mechanically: Define “life” first and then
“Skill”. Combine the two definitions together. You just check your definition with the
presented next.

Life skills are something of a buzzword and have been the focus of discussion across a range
of personal and social affairs around the world.

As defined in the document of World Health Organization life skills are “abilities for adaptive and
positive behavior that enable individuals to deal effectively with the demands and challenges of
everyday life.” It is also defined as “behavioral changes or behavioral development approach
designed to address a balance of three areas: knowledge attitude and skills” (UNICEF‟s definition).

Life skills are essentially those abilities that help to promote mental well-being and
competence in young people as they face the realities of life. Hence, students who are able to
understand and use these skills, along with their educational qualifications, will be better
placed to take advantage of educational and employment opportunities.

8.3. Components of Life Skills

Brainstorming Questions

 Decide whether the following list of human cognitions, emotions and behaviors are
components of life skills or not. Which ones are components of life skills, and which
ones are not? Put your mark in yes/no column. The phrases may be new for you. Do not
frustrate to try.

No. Given attributes Yes No

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 1 Critical thinking
2 Self- confidence
3 Self-awareness
4 Self- esteem
5 Decision making
6 Interpersonal relationship
7 Reflective communication
8 Peer resistance
9 Knowing rights and duties
10 Problem solving

Have you tried your best to include or keep out the above components into/out of life skills?
Now, read the following tips taken from Macmillan (2014) and relate with your answers.

Life skills include all the components given in table above. If someone is able to develop
them at least to an average level, s/he can lead a better and peaceful life. Moreover, to be
effective in life, one has to develop skills of expressing views, challenging stereotypes,
making connections, thinking creatively, getting good advices, managing time, learning how
to learn, listening actively, and the like.

The following are simple descriptions given for major components of life skills. The details
are given in the subsequent chapters of the module. However, for better understanding, you
need to read different materials written on life skills.

Critical thinking - thinking more effectively within curricular subject areas, understanding
the reasoning employed, assessing independently and appropriately, and solving problems
effectively. It involves, as well, improved thinking skills in dealing with real life problems-
in assessing information and arguments in social contexts and making life decisions.

Self-confidence – is the degree to which one can rely on his/her ability to perform certain
behavior alone or in public. It is individual‘s trust in his or her own abilities, capacities, and
judgments, or belief that he or she can successfully face day-to-day challenges and demands
(Psychology Dictionary Online).

Self-awareness – knowledge and understanding of one‘s strengthens and weaknesses. Self-

awareness involves monitoring our inner worlds, thoughts, emotions, and beliefs. It is
important, because it is a major mechanism influencing personal development.

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Self-esteem - the degree to which we perceive ourselves positively or negatively; our overall
attitude toward ourselves, which can be measured explicitly or implicitly.

Decision-making - Processes involved in combining and integrating available information to

choose, implement and evaluate one out of several possible courses of actions.

Interpersonal relationships – the relationships a person have with others persons. They are
social associations, connections, or affiliations between two or more people having various
levels of intimacy and sharing, and implying the discovery or establishment of common
ground.

Reflective communication - attending communications with thoughtful and due attention to

reflect on one‘s own thinking, behaviors and interaction with others.

Peer pressure resistance – individual‘s abilities and skills to confront negative influences
from his/her group members.

Knowing rights and duties – One‘s knowledge and understanding of rights and duties of
individuals, groups, institutions and nations allowed to do or not to do by law and/or a
culture.

Problem solving – the process of identifying a discrepancy between an actual and desired
state of affairs, difficulties, obstacles and complex issues and then taking action to resolve the
deficiency or take advantage of the opportunity.

Reflection

 Group the following into thinking, working, social and learning skills. Discuss the grouping in
class.
 Decision making  ICT  Cooperation  Citizenship
 Self- knowledge  Agility and adaptability  People  Social responsibility
 Critical thinking  Receiving and giving Management  Cultural awareness
 Accessing and feedback  Time management  Social development
analyzing  Handling criticism  Organization  Respecting diversity
information  Innovation/exploration  Negotiating  Networking
 Learner autonomy  Leading by
influence

8.2. Goals of Life Skills

Brainstorming Questions
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  Dear learner, consider any one of the skills in the box above. How do you think
building this skill is useful to an individual?

Dear learner, you may think that the way you are thinking about and doing things is right.
You may feel that you do not need any more advice from books or another experienced
person. You may think that you function well because you are the most performing person
from your class in academics. However, life may not be as simple as you think it is. If
someone has no skill for choosing the best and appropriate course of action amongst
multitude of options, life may be as difficult as crashing a stone with your teeth. You may not
handle the challenges and hurdles of life with the academic knowledge of the subject matter
you have mastered. For instance, let us say that you are a mathematics teacher and you are an
excellent person in the area. Do you think you can lead a better family life? Do you think that
you can deal well with your colleagues in the work place? Do you think that you are able to
plan into the future to have your living house? Yes, you may not have started thinking about
these things or you may have intuitions in your mind. These are inevitable under normal
circumstance. Leave alone such big life issues, dealing with simple daily hassles like
misunderstanding with friends are difficult to handle.

The goal of knowing and applying life skills is to lead a smooth and successful life at home,
work place and in social relationship. These skills help us live in harmony with ourselves and
others around us, select the goods from the bad, choose gold from soil, simplify life that is
full of troubles otherwise etc. Therefore, you are advised to know, understand and exercise
skills of life.

Life skills are not something we learn only for the sake of academic life. We rather develop
them for effective functioning in our life. Development of life skills is, therefore, a lifelong
process where one has to update his/her skills and knowledge of dealing with life events.

Life skills are generally applied in the context of academics, workplace and social events. For
instance, they can be utilized in many content areas of health: prevention of drug use, sexual
violence, teenage pregnancy, HIV/AIDS prevention and suicide prevention. Its importance
can also extend into consumer education, environmental education, peace education or
education for development, livelihood and income generation, among others. In short, life
skills empower young people to take positive action to protect themselves and promote health
and positive social relationships.

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With life skills, one is able to explore alternatives, weigh pros and cons and make rational
decisions in solving each problem or issue as it arises. It also entails being able to establish
productive interpersonal relationships with others. Life skills enable effective
communication, for example, being able to differentiate between hearing, listening, and
ensuring that messages are transmitted accurately to avoid miscommunication and
misinterpretations.

Reflection

1. Dear learner, develop a plan on how you are going to live with your dorm mates, class
mates, university employees and teachers, and the outside community during your stay in
the university? Share the activities you have listed for your classmates and decided to
implement the best ones during your stay in the university.

2. A story for discussion

Once up on a time, a man was in a journey from one place to another. While he was traveling, he came
across a river. On the riverbank, he found a snake. Then, he asked the snake why he was there. The snake
replied, “I am waiting for someone to help me to cross the river. As I know, you can swim. Would you allow
me to roll around your head while you swim to cross the river?” The man had agreed and allowed the snake
to roll around his head and swam to cross the river. However, the snake refused to go down after they crossed
the river. While the man and the snake were arguing, a fox had come. The fox asked why they were debating.
The man explained the reason that the snake refused to go down. The man promised to give a sheep for the
fox if it solved the dispute. Then, the fox said, “It is not the law of the earth you (the snake) to be on the top
of someone during mediation and you have to go down.” Then, snake agreed and went down. Then, the man
killed the snake. As per the agreement, the fox was waiting for a sheep but the man slaughtered a sheep, put
its skin on his dog, and sent it to the fox. The fox was waiting at the mouth of her hole because it suspected
the man. When she saw the dog running towards her in sheep‟s hide, she said “We know the trick and dung
holes.”
From the story.
Depending up on the story given, discuss the following questions.
 What was wrong with the man?
 What was wrong with the snake and fox?
 What can you say about the value of being genuine in helping someone or getting
support from others?

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Summary

 Life skills are abilities for adaptive and positive behavior that enable individuals to deal
effectively with the demands and challenges of everyday life.
 Life skills include critical thinking, self-confidence, self-awareness, self-esteem, decision-
making, interpersonal relationship, reflective communication, negative peer pressure
resistance, knowing rights and duties, and problem solving.
 The goal of knowing and applying life skills is to lead smooth and successful life at
home, work place and in social interpersonal relationship.
 Developing life skills can produce the following effects: lessened violent behavior;
increased pro-social behavior and decreased negative, self-destructive behavior; increased
the ability to plan ahead and choose effective solutions to problems; improved self-image,
self-awareness, social and emotional adjustment; increased acquisition of knowledge;
improved classroom behavior; gains in self- control and handling of interpersonal
problems and coping with anxiety; and improved constructive conflict resolution with
peers, impulse control and popularity.

The purpose for which this topic and the course in general are introduced to freshman
students is to help them develop the life skills. So, the purpose of the chapter and the way it is
presented needs to help students to explore themselves and acquire a better way of managing
their life.

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 CHAPTER NINE
INTRA-PERSONAL AND INTERPERSONAL SKILLS

Chapter Overview
Well, in the previous chapter of the module, you have learned the basics of life skills. In this
chapter, you learn about intra-person and interpersonal skills. Specifically, the chapter
focuses on self-concept, self-awareness, self-esteem, self-confidence, self-control, emotional
intelligence, resilience and coping with stress, anger management, critical and creative
thinking, problem solving and decision-making. These concepts are extensions of the notion
of life skills you have learned earlier.

Learning Appetizer

Read the following story and analyze problem-solving skills of the girl in the story.

“There was a girl living with her father and mother. Once up on a time, her mother
was in a quarrel with her father and, therefore, cooked porridge but added a poison
in it planning to kill her husband. Then, the mother served the poisoned food to the
husband. The girl was watching while her mother was putting the poison in the
porridge. So, the girl said, “Do not allow my father to eat the porridge”. When she
was asked why, she replied “If I tell you the reason, my mother will die. If I keep
quiet, my father will die.”

What do you learn from the story? Discuss your answer with your classmates.

Learning Outcomes
At the end of the chapter, you are expected to:
 Define self-concept, self-awareness, self-esteem, and self-confidence and illustrate with
real life examples;
 Describe features of emotional intelligence and anger management and demonstrate with
examples from your experience;
 Explain resilience and coping with stress by taking different stressors as an example;
 Explain critical and creative thinking, problem solving and decision making by taking
hypothetical/real life stories

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9.1. Self-Concept and Self-Awareness

Brainstorming Questions

 Have you ever think of your thinking and attitudes you have of yourself?
 How much the knowledge you have of yourself is dependable?
 How much you appreciate your physical appearance, competence, feelings, and skills?
 Can you identify your strengths and weaknesses? List them one by one?

A. Self-concept
As discussed by Gecas (1982) in a document entitled Annual Review of Sociology, the self is
a reflexive phenomenon that develops in social interaction and is based on the social
character of human language. The concept of self provides the philosophical underpinning for
social-psychological inquiries into the self-concept. The "self-concept," on the other hand, is
a product of this reflexive activity. It is the concept the individual has of himself/herself as a
physical, social, and spiritual or moral being.

Self-concept has the following important features:

 It is the totality of ideas that a person holds about the self
 It includes everything the person believes to be true about himself/herself
 It is composed of relatively permanent self-assessments that of course changes over time
with life experiences and relationships
 It is not restricted to the present. It also includes past and future selves
 It is a multi-dimensional construct that refers to an individual's perception of "self" in
relation to a number of characteristics, such as academics, gender roles, racial identity,
and many others
 It guides our actions, motivations, expectations and goals for future

B. Self- awareness
Self-awareness is having a clear perception of your personality, including strengths,
weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions. It is an attribute of one‘s self-
concept that allows understanding other people‘s attitudes and responses to them.

High self-awareness is a solid predictor of good success in life, perhaps because a self-aware
person knows when an opportunity is a good fit for them and how to make an appropriate
enterprise work well. However, most of us are hardly aware of why we succeed or fail; or
why we behave as we do. Our minds are so busy with daily hassles that we usually self-

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reflect only when something goes awfully wrong. Our response in challenging situations is
often to get defensive, make excuses, or blame another person, because we do not want to see
our part in the disaster. If we can observe ourselves during such incidents, it will be a good
start to self-awareness.

Here are some suggestions to start building self-awareness:

 Practice mindfulness
 Become a good listener
 Become more self-aware
 Open your mind to new perspectives
 Develop self-esteem
 Look at yourself objectively
 Take feedback from others
 Know your strengths and weaknesses
 Set intentions and goals

Reflection
 What is the difference between self-concept and self-awareness

9.2. Self-esteem and self-confidence

Brainstorming Questions

 Do you think that you are beautiful/ handsome?

 “Confidence is better than medicine.” Do you agree with this preposition?

A. Self-esteem
"Esteem" is derived from the Latin aestimare, meaning "to appraise, value, rate, weigh,
estimate," and self-esteem is our cognitive and, above all, emotional appraisal of our own
worth. More than that, it is the matrix through which we think, feel, and act, reflects and
determines our relation to ourselves, to others, and to the world. Self-esteem deals with the
evaluative and emotional dimensions of the self-concept. Self-evaluation or self-esteem refers
to the evaluative and affective aspects of the self-concept.

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 Self-esteem refers to an individual's overall self-evaluation. It is the judgment or opinion we
hold about ourselves. It‟s the extent to which we perceive ourselves to be worthwhile and
capable human beings.

Increasingly, however, various aspects of self-esteem have been differentiated. However,

common to these subdivisions is the distinction between (a) self-esteem based on a sense of
competence, power, or efficacy and (b) self-esteem based on a sense of virtue or moral worth.
The importance of this distinction lies in the suggestion that these two bases of self-esteem
may be a function of different processes of self-concept formation and that they constitute
different sources of motivation.

Briefly, competency-based self-esteem is tied closely to effective performance. As a result, it

is associated with self-attribution and social comparison processes. Self-esteem based on
virtue (termed self-worth) is grounded in norms and values concerning personal and
interpersonal conduct e.g. justice, reciprocity, and honor. The process of reflected appraisal
contributes to the formation of self-worth.

B. Self-confidence
The term confidence comes from the Latin fidere, "to trust." To be self-confident is to trust in
oneself, and, in particular, in one‘s ability or aptitude to engage successfully or at least
adequately with the world. A self-confident person is ready to rise to new challenges, seize
opportunities, deal with difficult situations, and take responsibility if and when things go
wrong.

Just as self-confidence leads to successful experience, successful experience leads to self-

confidence. Although any successful experience contributes to our overall confidence, it is, of
course, possible to be highly confident in one area, such as cooking or dancing, but very
insecure in another, such as mathematics or public speaking.

Self-confidence is the belief in oneself and abilities, which describes an internal state made
up of what we think and feel about ourselves.

Sometimes, people use self-confidence and courage interchangeably. However, they have
differences. In the absence of confidence, courage takes over. Confidence operates in the
realm of the known, whereas courage in that of the unknown, the uncertain, and the fearsome.

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I cannot be confident in diving from a height of 10 meters unless someone once had the
courage to dive from a height of 10 meters. Courage is a nobler attribute than confidence
because it requires greater strength, and because a courageous person is one with limitless
capabilities and possibilities.

Reflection
Discuss whether the following attributes are the outcomes of low self-confidence or not.
a) shyness
b) communication difficulties
c) social anxiety
d) lack of assertiveness
Do the following strategies help to improve self-confidence?
a) Practicing self-acceptance
a) Focus on your achievements
b) Making personal changes
c) Seeking out positive experiences and people
d) Positive affirmations
e) Rewards and support
How self-confident do you think you are? What do you think you need to do to improve
your self-confidence?

9.3. Self-Control
Brainstorming Questions

Comment on the following proverbs:

 He that hath no rule over his own spirit is like a city that is broken down, and
without walls.
 It is said, “A person who controls oneself is better than the one who controls a city.”
What does this mean? Do you agree with it?

Self-control is achieved by refraining from actions we like and instead performing actions we
prefer not to do as a means of achieving a long-term goal. People often want to change
themselves by, for example, quitting smoking, going on a diet, studying more effectively, and
so on but they may find it difficult to stick with such long range goals. Instead, people often
succumb to the lure of an immediate reward and break with their prior commitment. In other
words, we fail to control ourselves in some meaningful way.

Some researchers have suggested that the act of controlling ourselves is taxing and makes
exercising subsequent self-control more difficult. It is said that we have a limited ability to

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regulate ourselves, and if we use our control resources on unimportant tasks, there will be
less available capacity for the important ones.

Reflection

 Dear students, identify a habit (everyone has some kind of unwanted habit) that you
what to abandon. Find the best strategy to control yourself from the terrible habit.
Share how you are going to do it for your classmate.
 How do you see yourself in terms of self-control? How self-controlled you think you
are? Is self-control the same as self-inhibition?

9.4. Anger Management

Brainstorming Question
 What do you do when you are angry at someone in your dorm mate because s/he
insulted you?

Anger is a state of emotion where a person is irritated by block of interests, loss of possession
or threats to personality. Everyone gets angry at times. When people are angry or annoyed,
they may walk away or use a harsh tone of voice. Other times, they may yell, argue, or start a
fight. If you learn to manage, or control your anger, you can redirect these surges of anger
energy to reach your goal.

When anger is not controlled, conflict becomes worse. Dwelling on how angry you are doesn‟t help
to defuse your anger. Instead your anger can build and lead to rage. At this stage, you may no
longer be able to think clearly.

The ancient martial art teaches those who practice the art to remain calm, to empty
themselves of anger, and to gain the advantage in a conflict by using their opponent‘s
tendency to strike out in blind rage. This type of self-control is not just for martial artists.
You can develop these techniques to control your anger and prevent conflicts from getting
out of hand.

Below are some of the ttechniques for mmanaging anger:

 Recognize anger as a signal of vulnerability - you feel devalued in some way.

 When angry, think or do something that will make you feel more valuable, i.e., worthy of
appreciation.

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 Do not trust your judgment when angry. Anger magnifies and amplifies only the negative
aspects of an issue, distorting realistic appraisal.
 Try to see the complexity of the issue. Anger requires narrow and rigid focus that ignores
or oversimplifies context.
 Strive to understand other people's perspectives. When angry you assume the worst or
outright demonize the object of your anger.
 Do not justify your anger. Instead, consider whether it will help you act in your long-term
best interest.
 Know your physical and mental resources. Anger is more likely to occur when tired,
hungry, sick, confused, anxious, preoccupied, distracted, or overwhelmed.
 Focus on improving and repairing rather than blaming. It's hard to stay angry without
blaming and it's harder to blame when focused on repairing and improving.
 When angry, remember your deepest values. Anger is about devaluing others, which is
probably inconsistent with your deepest values.
 Know that your temporary state of anger has prepared you to fight when you really need to
learn more, solve a problem, or, if it involves a loved one, be more compassionate.

Therefore, if you are poor at controlling your anger, try to exercise the suggestions given
above whenever you come across with state of anger in your life. After sometime, you will
make them part of your daily behavior and you may not need to remember them.

Reflection
 How do you see yourself in terms of managing anger?

9.5. Emotional Intelligence and Managing Emotion

Brainstorming Question
 How much you value patience in your culture?

Dear learner, try to remember what you have studied about emotions earlier. Having the
basics emotions in your mind, you learn about emotional intelligence in this section of the
module.

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to identify and manage one‘s own emotions, as
well as the emotions of others. Emotional intelligence includes at least three skills: emotional

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awareness, or the ability to identify and name one‘s own emotions; the ability to harness
those emotions and apply them to tasks like thinking and problem solving; and the ability to
manage emotions, which includes both regulating one‘s own emotions when necessary and
helping others to do the same.

Emotional intelligence describes the ability, capacity, skill, or self- perceived ability to
identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one‟s self, of others, and of groups. People who
possess a high degree of emotional intelligence know themselves very well and are also able
to sense the emotions of others. They are affable, resilient, and optimistic.

By developing their emotional intelligence, individuals can become more productive and
successful at what they do, and help others become more productive and successful too. The
process and outcomes of emotional intelligence and its development also contain many
elements known to reduce stress. Promoting understanding and relationships, fostering
stability, continuity, and harmony helps to develop emotional intelligence family,
organization and society. Last but not least, it links strongly with concepts of love and
spirituality.

Individuals have different personalities, wants, needs, and ways of showing their emotions. In
the most generic framework, five domains of emotional intelligence are divided into personal
(self-awareness, self-regulation, and self-motivation) and social (social awareness and social
skills) competences.

Reflection
 Discuss how self-awareness, self-regulation, self-evaluation, social awareness and social
skills are related to emotional intelligence.
 How do you see yourself in terms of emotional intelligence? Do you think you have a
reasonable level of emotional intelligence or do you think you need to improve?
 What do you need to do to improve your emotional intelligence?

9.6. Stress, Coping with Stress and Resilience

Brainstorming Questions
 Do you attribute personal setbacks such as failure in exams solely to your inadequacy or
are you able to identify contributing factors that are specific and temporary?
 Do you demand a perfect streak or are you able to accept that life is a mix of losses and
wins?

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  How do you manage when stressed?
 Let us say you get a bad grade while you are expecting an “A”. What do you do? You try
to know the reason why you get the grade or study hard to get a better grade next time in
another course?

Stress is a very common condition. You feel your heart racing, palms sweating, and stomach
growling when you are under stress, perhaps due to an upcoming job interview or a huge
occasion such as a wedding. You also feel it when you are overburdened with work; when
you go through a crisis, or when you face your sources of fear like an angry dog or a plane
flight.

Stress generally refers to two things: the psychological perception of pressure, on the one hand, and
the body's response to it, on the other, which involves multiple systems from metabolism to muscles
and memory.

Some stress is necessary for all living systems as it is the means by which you encounter and
respond to the challenges and uncertainties of existence. However, prolonged or repeated
arousal of the stress response, a characteristic of modern life, can have harmful physical and
psychological consequences, including heart disease, diabetes, anxiety, and depression.

Mainly, stress comes from three categories of stressors: catastrophes, significant life changes,
and daily hassles.

Catastrophes - Catastrophes are unpredictable, large scale events, such as war and natural
disasters, that nearly everyone appraises as threatening.

Significant Life Changes - the death of a loved one, loss of a job, leaving home, marriage,
divorce, etc. Life transitions and insecurities are often keenly felt during young adulthood.

Daily life events - our happiness stems less from enduring good fortune than from our
responses to daily events such as awaiting to hear medical results, perfect exam scores,
gratifying phone call, your team‘s winning the big game and the like. This principle works
for negative events, too. Everyday annoyances like rush hour traffic, aggravating housemates,
long lines at the store, too many things to do, e-mail spam, and obnoxious cell phone talkers
may be the most significant sources of stress. Although some people can simply shrug off
such hassles, others are easily affected by them. People‘s difficulties in letting go of
unattainable goals is another everyday stressor with health consequences.

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Coping With Stress
Stressors are unavoidable. As they are coupled with heart disease, depression, and lowered
immunity, we need to learn to cope with the stress in our lives. There are two ways of dealing
with stress: problem focused and emotion-focused.

Problem focused - when we feel a sense of control over a situation and think we can change
the circumstances or change ourselves, we may address stressors directly, with problem -
focused coping. For example, if our impatience leads to fight our friend, we may go directly
to that friend to work things out.

Emotion-focused - When we cannot handle the problem or believe that we cannot change a
situation, we may turn to emotion-focused coping. If, despite our best efforts, we cannot get
along with that friend, we may reach out to other friends to help address our own emotional
needs.

Emotion-focused strategies can be non-adaptive, as when students worried about not keeping
up with the reading in class go out and party to clear their mind. A problem-focused strategy
(catching up with the reading) would be more effectively reduce stress and promote long -
term health and satisfaction. When challenged, some people tend to respond more with cool
problem-focused coping, others with emotion-focused coping. Several factors affect the
ability to cope successfully, including feelings of personal control, outlook, and supportive
connections.

Resilience
Adversity is a fact of life and resilience is succeeding in the face of the adversity. Resilience
is about getting through pain and disappointment without letting them crush your spirit. In
other language, resilience is the quality to come back at least as strong as before after being
knocked down by adversity. In the process of resilience, individuals focus on finding a way
to rise from the failure rather than letting difficulties or failure overcome them.

Resilience is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity, trauma, tragedy, threats or
significant sources of stress such as family and relationship problems, serious health problems or
workplace and financial stressors. It means "bouncing back" from difficult experiences (APA
definition).

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A positive attitude, optimism, the ability to regulate emotions, and the ability to see failure as
a form of helpful feedback are resilience strategies. Research shows that optimism helps to
blunt the impact of stress on the mind and body in the wake of disturbing experiences. It
gives people access to their cognitive resources, enabling cool-headed analysis of what might
have gone wrong and consideration of behavioral paths that might be more productive.

Resilience is not some magical quality but it takes real mental work to transcend hardship.
Even after misfortune, resilient people are able to change course and move toward achieving
their goals. Being resilient does not mean that a person does not experience difficulty or
distress. Emotional pain and sadness are common in people who have suffered major
adversity or trauma in their lives. In fact, the road to resilience is likely to involve
considerable emotional distress. Resilience is not a trait that people either have or do not
have. It involves behaviors, thoughts and actions that can be learned and developed in
anyone.

Reflection
 Do the following strategies are helpful in building resilience?
a) Making connections with family and friends
b) Avoiding seeing crises as insurmountable problems
c) Accepting that change is a part of living
d) Moving toward your goals
e) Taking decisive actions
f) Looking for opportunities for self-discovery
g) Nurturing a positive view of yourself
h) Keeping things in perspectives
i) Maintaining a hopeful outlook, and
j) Taking care of yourself.

9.7. Critical and Creative Thinking

Brainstorming Questions

 What if you are given a chance to choose between your father and mother?
 Assume that you are in the middle of grassland and a flame of fire started at some
distance from you from the direction the wind is coming. What do you do to escape the
fire?

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Critical thinking skills includes decision-making/problem solving skills and information
gathering skills. The individual must also be skilled at evaluating the future consequences of
their present actions and the actions of others. They need to be able to determine alternative
solutions and to analyze the influence of their own values and the values of those around
them.

Critical thinking is "Purposeful, self-regulatory judgment which results in interpretation,

analysis, evaluation, and inference, as well as explanation of the evidential, conceptual,
methodological, contextual considerations upon which judgment is based (ADEA).

Critical thinking is also regarded as intellectually engaged, skillful, and responsible

thinking that facilitates good judgment because it requires the application of assumptions,
knowledge, competence, and the ability to challenge one's own thinking. Critical thinking
requires the use of self-correction and monitoring to judge the rationality of thinking as well
as reflexivity. When using critical thinking, individuals step back and reflect on the quality
of that thinking (ADEA).

A central goal of contemporary education is to improve the thinking skills of students, and
the notions of critical thinking and of creative thinking provide focusses for this effort.
Educators strive for students to be better critical thinkers. This implies thinking more
effectively within curricular subject areas, understanding the reasoning employed, assessing
independently and appropriately, and solving problems effectively. It involves, as well,
improved thinking skills in dealing with real life problems, in assessing information and
arguments in social contexts and making life decisions. We also want students to be more
creative, not simply to reproduce old patterns but to respond productively to new situations,
to generate new and better solutions to problems, and to produce original works.

The ability to connect the seemingly unconnected and meld existing knowledge into new
insight about some element of how the world works.

These goals of fostering critical thinking and of fostering creativity are generally considered
to be quite separate and distinct. Critical thinking is seen as analytic. It is the means for
arriving at judgments within a given framework or context. Creative thinking, on the other
hand, is seen as imaginative, constructive, and generative. Learn the comparisons given in the
below.

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 Critical Thinking Creative thinking
 Analytic  Generative
 Convergent  Divergent
 Vertical  Lateral
 Probability  Possibility
 Judgment  Suspended judgment
 Hypothesis testing  Hypothesis forming
 Objective  Subjective
 Answer  An answer
 Closed  Open-ended
 Linear  Associative
 Reasoning  Speculating
 Logic  Intuition
 Yes but  Yes and

Reflection
 Critical thinkers foster which one of the following attributes?

a) Be capable of taking a position or changing a position as evidence dictates

b) Remain relevant to the point
c) Seek information as well as precision in information
d) Be open minded
e) Take the entire situation into account
f) Keep the original problem in mind
g) Search for reasons
h) Deal with the components of a complex problem in an orderly manner
i) Seek a clear statement of the problem
j) Look for options
k) Exhibit sensitivity to others' feelings and depth of knowledge
l) Use credible sources

9.8. Problem Solving and Decision Making

Brainstorming Question
 Let us say you graduated from university and employed and you want to marry. How
do you identify the best woman/man that can qualify to your preference out of many
and decide to marry?

Problem solving

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Problems are a central part of human life and it is almost impossible to avoid it. Most of us
have problems that have been posed to us (e.g., assignments from your teacher). There are
two classes of problems: those that are considered well defined and others that are considered
ill defined. Well-defined problems are those problems whose goals, path to solution, and
obstacles to solution are clear based on the information given. For example, the problem of
how to calculate simple simultaneous equation. In contrast, ill-defined problems are
characterized by their lack of a clear path to solution. Such problems often lack a clear
problem statement as well, making the task of problem definition and problem representation
quite challenging. For example, the problem of how to find a life partner is an ill-defined
problem.

Problem solving is a process in which we perceive and resolve a gap between a present
situation and a desired goal, with the path to the goal blocked by known or unknown
obstacles. In general, the problem situation is one not previously encountered, or where at
least a specific solution from past experiences is not known.

Steps in problem solving

Even though the type, degree and context of the problem vary from individual to individual,
there are activities that should be accomplished one after the other. The steps are:
1. Recognize or identify the problem.
2. Define and represent the problem mentally.
3. Develop a solution strategy alternatives and select the best one.
4. Organize knowledge about the problem and avail the necessary resources.
5. Allocate mental and physical resources for solving the problem.
6. Monitor his or her progress toward the goal.
7. Evaluate the solution for accuracy.

Decision-making
People often turn to groups when they must make key decisions, for groups can draw on
more resources than one individual. Groups can generate more ideas and possible solutions
by discussing the problem. Groups, too, can evaluate the options that they generate during
discussion more objectively. Before accepting a solution, a group may stipulate that a certain
number of people must favor it, or that it meets some other standard of acceptability. People
generally believe that a group‘s decision will be superior to an individual‘s decision. Groups,
however, do not always make good decisions.
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Decision-making is a selection process where one of two or more possible solutions is chosen
to reach a desired goal. The steps in both problem solving and decision-making are quite
similar. In fact, the terms are sometimes used interchangeably (Huitt, 1992).

Summary

 The self-concept is conceptualized as an organization (structure) of various identities and

attributes, and their evaluations, developed out of the individual's reflexive, social, and
symbolic activities.
 Self-awareness is having a clear perception of one‘s personality, including strengths,
weaknesses, thoughts, beliefs, motivation, and emotions.
 Self-esteem is the judgment or opinion we hold about ourselves. It‘s the extent to which
we perceive ourselves to be worthwhile and capable human beings.
 Self-esteem refers to an individual's overall self-evaluation.
 Self-control is achieved by refraining from actions we like and instead performing actions
we prefer not to do as a means of achieving a long-term goal.
 Everyone gets angry at times. When people are angry or annoyed, they may walk away or
use a harsh tone of voice. Other times, they may yell, argue, or start a fight.
 Emotional intelligence describes the ability, capacity, skill, or self-perceived ability to
identify, assess, and manage the emotions of one‘s self, of others, and of groups.
 Stress generally refers to two things: the psychological perception of pressure, on the one
hand, and the body's response to it, on the other, which involves multiple systems, from
metabolism to muscles to memory. Mainly, there are three categories of stressors:
catastrophes, significant life changes, and daily hassles.
 Resilience is about getting through pain and disappointment without letting them crush
your spirit.
 There are two classes of problems: those that are considered well defined and others that
are considered ill defined.

Reflection
 Discuss/can be assignment/ over the following points and explain for others in class.
1. What is the relationship among self-concept, self-awareness, self-esteem and self-
confidence?
2. Can self-concept change? How?
3. Explain similarities and difference between self-control and anger managements.
4. Explain similarities and differences between coping with stress and resilience.

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 CHAPTER TEN
ACADEMIC SKILLS
Chapter Overview

Dear learners, you have learned about intra-personal and personal skills vital for successful
living in very complex world. In this chapter of the module, you learn about skills, which are
helpful to perform in one‘s academic life. Once you develop the skills, you can use them
throughout your life and they are not limited to campus life. Time management, note-taking,
test-taking, dealing with anxiety, goal setting and career developments skills are the focuses
of the chapter. As you have been doing in learning contents of the previous chapters, you
have to keep up your commitment to learn and internalize the skills explained in the chapter.

Learning Appetizer

How you can relate the following Ethiopian proverb in terms of time management and study
skill
“A lazy sheep herd waits until sheep went far to return them back‖
―A hyena in urgency catches the horn‖
“A person in hurry cannot breed goats”
“A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step”

Chapter Learning Outcomes

At the end of the chapter, you will be able to;

 Describe features of time management
 Explain applications of study skills
 Identify note-taking and study skills important for students
 Demonstrate test anxiety and its coping mechanisms
 Describe goal setting process
 Demonstrate career development skills with examples

10.1. Time Management

Brainstorming Questions

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  Have you every counted the number of years, months, days, hours, minutes and
seconds you have lived?
 How many of your times have you spent for good things?
 How many of the time you have spent without something important for your life since
you started thinking as adolescent?
 Does time management mean being busy without having any leisure time?

Time management is the ability to plan and control how someone spends the hours in a day to
accomplish his or her goals effectively. This involves deal with time between the domains of
life: work, home, social life, and hobbies. It is important to establish clear goals and priorities
in order to set aside non-essential tasks that can waste time, and to monitor where the time
actually goes.

Good time management as deciding what someone wants to get out of life and efficiently per suing
these goals. Time management does not mean being busy all the time. It means using your time the
way you want to use it which can include large doses of day dreaming and doing nothing. Good
time management brings with it increasing relaxation, less stress, more satisfaction and greater
accomplishment.

Time is a communal non-renewable resource for all human beings but abused by many
individuals. Time is not something that we can get back again once passed although it is a
freely available resource. Many of us do not consider time as a resource and we savagely
spend it without doing something important for our life. Some people even use it to harm
themselves. Therefore, wise utilization of time is very beneficial for success, happiness and
peace of mind. Much like money, time is both valuable and limited: it must be saved, used
wisely, and budgeted.

Good time management is essential to success at university. Planning your time allows you to
spread your work over sessions, avoid a jam of works, and cope with study stress. Many
deadlines for university works occur at the same time. Hence, unless you plan in advance,
you will find it impossible to manage. To meet the demands of study, you need to spread
your workload over sessions of time. Work out what needs to be done and when they should
be done. Plan on how you have to use your available time as efficiently as possible.

People who practice good time management techniques often find that they:
• Are more productive,
• Have more energy for things they need to accomplish,

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 • Feel less stressed,
• Are able to do the things they want,
• Get more things done,
• Relate more positively to others, and
• Feel better about themselves.
Finding a time management strategy that works best for individuals depends on their
personality, ability to self-motivate and level of self-discipline. By incorporating some, or all
of the ten strategies Chapman and Burpured below, you can manage your time more
effectively.

1. Know how you spend time

2. Set priorities
3. Use a planning tool
4. Get organized
5. Schedule your time appropriately
6. Delegate – get help from others
7. Stop procrastinating
8. Manage external time wasters
9. Avoid multi-tasking
10. Stay healthy

Reflection
 Evaluate the rightness or the wrongness of the following proverbs in terms of the time
management you have learned in the above section.
a) Time is precious/gold.
b) Lost time is never found again.
c) Time cures all things.
a) Time is money.
b) Time and tide wait for no man.

10.2. Note-taking and Study Skills

Brainstorming
 How you take notes while your teacher is teaching in class? Can you catch up with
him/her?

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In order to succeed in learning, it is often necessary to take good notes as lecturers often
provide you with key information for the course. Staying organized while taking notes is just
as important as note-taking itself because if you have good notes to study, you will be more
likely to do well in exams. There are several strategies which will help you stay organized
and take good notes. However, due to limitation of the scope the module, the following
comprehensive strategies are considered for better note-taking during classroom lesson.

Getting Organized
Before you go to class, you need to have the necessary materials such as notebooks and pen.
Ringed exercise book is usually the most suitable one to have organized system of note
taking. It allows you to place your syllabi in the front, insert handouts by date, and add notes
as needed. It also allows you to remove sections of notes and place them side by side to
create a big picture view of a main points, chapters, or sections. Moreover, in order to
develop good notes, you have to prepare yourself and select the best approach to take notes
during class.

Before Class
Effective note taking begins prior to class by creating a framework of reference. This strategy
provides familiarity with terms, ideas and concepts discussed in lecture and leads to an active
role in your own learning. Therefore;
• Determine the lecture topic and review past readings and notes

• Complete readings assigned to lecture topics and preview any other auxiliary materials

• Prepare questions you may have from the readings

During Class
Depending on the type of class and personal learning style, you will develop your own
method of taking notes. Here are some guidelines and methods to assist you with the process:
 Date your notes
 Keep the objective/theme of the class in mind
 Record notes in your own words
 Make your notes brief and focus on the pain points
 If you fall behind, stop. Make a mark in your notebook, listen for a few minutes until
you feel caught up, then begin taking notes again. It is better to listen and get the
information later.

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Common Note Taking Methods
The following are the three major note-taking methods.
 Cornell Method - a systematic and simple method for note taking that breaks the note
page into three sections (Cue column, note-taking column and summary) to allow for
organized recording and review the main points during lecture. You can also use it
while reading your text books.
 Outlining - Recording the main ideas of the lecture to the left margin of the page in
your exercise book. Indent more specific information underneath and further indent
examples.
 Charting - Charting is a good strategy for courses that require comparisons/contrasts
of specific dates, places, people, events, importance and how the information relates.

After Class
 Immediately after class, remain in the classroom or find a quiet space close by and
review notes.
 To solidify your understanding and connect new concepts with previous concepts,
review your notes as soon as possible following class.
 Connect with another member of the class and create an interactive discussion about
the lecture.
 Visit your professor during office hours with questions. Be specific, state what you
understand and ask if you missed any important concepts.
 Instead of recopying your notes, record yourself reviewing what you wrote (if
possible). Speaking out loud is an interactive process that leads to a more in-depth
understanding. Additionally, you will have a recording that can be played back.

Reflection
 Which of the note-taking methods you prefer? Why?
 How do you see a proverb “Body present mind absent” in relation to note-taking during
lecture time in class?

10.3. Test-Taking Skill

Brainstorming Question
 How do you prepare yourself for tests/exams?

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Out of their experiences, every student practice certain type of test-taking thump rules.
Depending up on what they think right, they prepare themselves for tests and approach the
tests. Similarly, there are no agreed up on test-taking skills among scholars. However, there
are some suggestions that can help students in doing tests. Some of these suggestions are
given below.

1. Attend all classes

2. Take organized and clear lecture notes
3. Plan your study time and set study goals
4. Use SQ3R(Survey, Question, Read, Revise and Recite) study style
5. Use memorizing techniques such as associating difficult material with something you
already know
6. Divide the review material into logical sections and concentrate on one at a time.
7. Organize the information you must remember
8. Know your teacher(e.g., His/her focus areas) and meet with your teacher out of class
9. Make your presence known in class by your courtesy, cooperation and willingness to
learn
10. Ask questions to increase your understanding of course material
11. Make use of tutoring services and student support centers of the college
12. Separate review time from daily assignments
13. Start reviewing systematically and early, not just the night before the test
14. Practice predicting and answering test questions.
15. Learn test-taking terms and strategies.
16. Examine previous tests to ascertain what you did well and what you did not do so
well.
17. Find out what kind of a test it will be: objective, essay, or a combination of both.
18. Find out when and where the test will be given; what you are expected to bring with
you (pens); and what you are allowed to bring with you (dictionary). Get to the test
site early with appropriate materials and do deep breathing exercises to relax. Do not,
at this time, continue to try to study.
19. Get plenty of sleep the night before the exam.
20. Get up early enough to avoid rushing and to eat a healthy breakfast.
21. Tell yourself you will do well - and you will!

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Reflection
 How many of the test-taking advices listed above are acceptable in your case?

10.4. Test Anxiety and Overcoming Test Anxiety

Brainstorming Questions
Which one of the following statement describes you best? The first, second or both?
1. I‟m not good at math and I‟m terrible at tests. I‟m going to fail. I‟ll never pass Math!
2. I will study tonight and try my best tomorrow. I am fortune-telling and I don‟t know
for sure that I will fail. I passed the last test. I have done fine on the homework
assignments, so I will probably pass Math even if I don‟t do that well on this test.

Almost everyone feels nervous or experiences some anxiety when faced with a test or an
exam.
In fact, it is unusual to find a student who does not approach a big test without a certain
degree of anxiety. Many students experience some nervousness or apprehension before,
during, or even after an exam. It is perfectly natural to feel some anxiety when preparing for
and taking a test. However, too much anxiety about a test is commonly referred to as test
anxiety.

Test anxiety is a negative mood state characterized by bodily symptoms of physical tension
and by apprehension about a test/exam going to take place in the future. It can be a
subjective sense of unease, a set of behaviors (looking worried and anxious or fidgeting), or
a physiological response originating in the brain and reflected in elevated heart rate and
muscle tension due to negative thinking of taking a test.

Students with test anxiety will experience rushes of adrenaline before and throughout their
test. Adrenaline blocks the brain from thinking and triggers flight/fight responses. It can
interfere with students‘ studying, and they may have difficulty in learning and remembering
what they need to know for the test. Further, too much anxiety may block performances.
Students may have difficulty in demonstrating what they know during the test. Hence, the
student will not be in a good state of feelings while doing the test and become a failure.

Severe test anxiety can cause a host of problems in students. Although each person will
experience a different collection of symptoms with differing degrees of intensity, the
symptoms of sever test anxiety fall into a few categories.

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  Physical - headaches, nausea or diarrhea, extreme body temperature changes,
excessive sweating, shortness of breath, light-headedness or fainting, rapid heartbeat,
and/or dry mouth
 Emotional - excessive feelings of fear, disappointment, anger, depression,
uncontrollable crying or laughing, feelings of helplessness
 Behavioral - fidgeting, pacing, substance abuse, avoidance
 Cognitive - racing thoughts, going blank, difficulty in concentrating, negative self-
talk, feelings of dread, comparing self with others, and difficulty in organizing
thoughts

Therefore, in order to reduce test anxiety, students should exercise realistic thinking. Realistic
thinking means looking at all aspects of a situation (the positive, the negative and the neutral)
before making conclusions. In other words, realistic thinking means looking at oneself,
others, and the world in a balanced and fair way. The following are steps of realistic thinking
that can be applied to reduce test-anxiety.

Step 1: Pay attention to your self-talk

Thoughts are the things that we say to ourselves without speaking out loud (self-talk). We all
have our own way of thinking about things, and how we think has a big effect on how we
feel. When we think that something bad will happen such as failing a test, we feel anxious.
For example, imagine you have a test in Math class. If you think you are going to fail, you
will feel scared and anxious. But, if you think you can pass, you will feel calm. Learn about
the two scenarios from the diagram given blow.

THOUGHT: FEELING: Calm

“I have studied and I’ll pass.”
Situation: A test
in Maths class
THOUGHT: FEELING: Scared
and Anxious
“I am going to fail.”

Often, we are unaware of our thoughts, but because they have such a big impact on how we
feel, it is important to start paying attention to what we are saying to ourselves.

Step 2: Identify thoughts that lead to feelings of anxiety

It can take some time and practice to identify the specific thoughts that make you anxious.
Pay attention to your shifts in anxiety, no matter how small. When you notice yourself getting

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more anxious, that is the time to ask yourself. Therefore, here are some important suggestions
to identify thought that can lead to anxiety.
 What am I thinking right now?
 What is making me feel anxious?
 What am I worried will happen?
 What bad thing do I expect to happen?

Step 3: Challenge your „anxious‟ thinking

Thinking something does not mean it is true or that it will happen. Often, our thoughts are
just guesses and not actual facts. For example, thinking that you will fail a test does not mean
you will actually fail. Sometimes, our anxiety is the result of falling into thinking traps.
Thinking traps are unfair or overly negative ways of seeing things. Therefore, it is helpful to
challenge your anxious thoughts because they can make you feel like something bad will
definitely happen, even when it is highly unlikely.

Reflection
 What techniques are important to challenge anxious thoughts related to test?

10.5. Goal Setting

Brainstorming Questions
 Have you ever recorded what you are planning to do sometime in the future?

Goal setting is like drawing map, which will help individuals to track their development
towards reaching their full potential. It is the process of imagining, planning and
implementing the big picture of one‘s destination. Goal setting gives someone direction and
motivation, as well as increasing satisfaction and self-confidence in their performance. In the
process of goal setting, goals should be straightforward and emphasize what the individual
want to happen in his/her life. The goal should be specific, measurable, action, realistic and
time-bound (SMART).
Hellriegel, Slocum, Woodman and Martens (1992; 1987) found the following to be the most
important purposes of goal setting:
• Guide and direct behavior
• Provide clarity
• Provide challenges and standards
• Reflect on what the goal setters consider important

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 • Help to improve performance.
• Increase the motivation to achieve
• Help increase pride and satisfaction in achievements
• Improve self-confidence
• Help to decrease negative attitude
Reflection
 What personal behaviors, skills, resources and attitudes are important in setting goals?

10.6. Career Development Skill

Brainstorming Question
 Which department you are going to join? Why?
 How you are going to live life after graduation?
 When you are going to attend your MA/PhD?
 When you are going to have marriage and children?

Career is how individuals live their lives across different contexts and settings, including
education, work, family and leisure time. Vaughan (2011) asserts that all individuals need to
carefully coordinate their life, work and learning choices and experiences, at all ages and
stages throughout their lifetime.

Career development is a lifelong continuous process of planning implementing and managing one‟s
learning, work and leisure in order to achieve life objectives.

It is a continuous lifelong process of developmental experiences that focuses on seeking,

obtaining and processing information about self, occupational and educational alternatives,
life styles and role options is career development. Put in an another way, career development
is the process through which people come to understand themselves as they relate to the
world of work and their role in it.

Career management skill is often used to describe skills aptitudes abilities and attitudes required to
manage life. In other language career management skills (CMS) are competencies which help
individuals to identify their existing skills develop career learning goals and take action to enhance
their careers.

The concept of career management assumes that individuals can influence their careers, that
there are a range of skills which help an individual to manage their career in ways that are

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personally advantageous, and that at least some of these skills can be acquired through
learning and experience.

Reflection
 Plan the age at which you complete your university education, join work, marry, have
children and build personal home. Share what you have planned for your students.
 Directions: Arrange the following life goals into an order you are thinking and
planning to achieve in your life. What materials, time, money, energy, knowledge, skills
and help are required to achieve each?
_______Going to college
_______Finding a job
_______Finishing high school
_______Having a car
_______Living in a clean, safe area/home
_______Have marriage
_______Having friends
_______Having family

Summary

 Time management is deciding what you want to get out of life and efficiently per suing
these goals.
 Time management does not mean being busy all the time – it means using your time the
way you want to do it.
 Effective note-taking begins prior to class by creating a framework of reference. This
strategy provides familiarity with terms, ideas and concepts discussed in lecture and leads
to an active role in your own learning.
 Test anxiety is a negative mood characterized by bodily symptoms of physical tension
and apprehension about a test/exam going to take place in the future.
 Test anxiety can cause a host of physical, emotional, behavioral and cognitive problems.
 Goal-setting will give you direction, increase satisfaction and self-confidence in
performance.
 Career management skills are competencies, which help individuals to identify their
existing skills, develop career learning goals and take action to enhance their careers.

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 CHAPTER ELEVEN
SOCIAL SKILLS

Chapter Overview

Dear learners, you have learned about academic skills and its components in chapter nine. It
is assumed that you have got good understanding out of the lessons you learning in the
chapter. Now, as continuation of the previous lessons, you learn social skills, which are very
vital to establish peaceful and harmonious social relationship with others in your life. To
achieve this very important goal, you have to know and internalize diversity, gender and
social isolation, interpersonal communication, social influences, peer pressure, assertiveness,
conflict and conflict resolution, teamwork, and skills of overcoming risky behaviors.

Chapter Learning Outcome

At the end the chapter, make sure that you will be able to;
 Describe features of intercultural diversity and diversity management
 Differentiate gender differences and similarities
 Explain reasons of social inclusions and exclusions
 Describe interpersonal communication skills
 Demonstrate social influences and peer pressure with examples
 Define assertiveness
 Give details of conflict and conflict resolution
 Illustrate characteristics of teamwork
 Explain techniques of overcoming risky behavior

Learning Appetizer
 To which group you belong? List the groups you are a member. Is there any person in
your class out of the group you are a member. Discuss in class, in group.
Your ethnic group________ Your political Your citizenship _______
affiliation__________
Your religion ___________ Your birth area__________ Your university _______
Your skin color ________ Your gender ________ Your age range _________
Your favorite football club____ Your favorite food ________ Your philosophy of life _____
Your continent_________ Your marriage status __________ Your town/kebel/village ____
Do you have facebook? Do you have twitter? Do you have telegram?

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Do you have other social List any of the virtual community Your Language/s__________
to which you are a member?
media?

 Discuss over the following Ethiopian Proverbs

 Diversity is spice of life.
 Claw my back, and I will claw yours.
 Company in distress makes trouble less.

11.1. Understanding cultural Diversity

Brainstorming Questions

Can you define diversity?

What is the importance of cultural diversity to live together in harmony?

Diversity has become the defining characteristic of our social and cultural worlds. We are
now constantly confronted with a multitude of ways in which we can define ourselves, and
categorize others. Ethnicity, nationality, gender, religion, occupation, political affiliation, skin
color, profession, and others can define our identity. Our social and cultural worlds are
increasingly unassailably and multifaceted. For instance, Ethiopian population is made up
varieties of peoples, languages, religions, cultures, political orientations, and many more. No
one can define himself/herself exclusively. We no longer live in the provincial, homogenized
worlds that characterized much of human history in the world. We live in worlds defined by
diversity.

Culture is the criteria with which we evaluate everything around us. We evaluate what is
proper or improper, normal or abnormal through our culture. If we are immersed in a culture
that is unlike with that of ours, we may experience culture shock and become disoriented.
When we come into contact with a fundamentally different culture, we start thinking about
our culture.. People naturally use their culture as the standard to judge other cultures.
However, passing judgment could reach a level where people begin to discriminate against
others whose ―ways of being‖ are different from their own. Essentially, we tend to fear the
culture we do not understand.

Cultural diversity helps us recognize and respect ―ways of being‖ that are not necessarily
ours. If we interact with others, we can build bridges to trust, respect, and understanding

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across cultures. Furthermore, this diversity makes our country a more interesting place to
live. People from diverse cultures contribute language skills, new ways of thinking, new
knowledge, and different experiences. Moreover, cultural diversity is important because our
country, workplaces, and schools increasingly consist of various cultural, religious, and
ethnic groups. We can learn from one another but first we must have a level of understanding
about each other in order to facilitate collaboration and cooperation. Learning about other
cultures helps us understand different perspectives within the world in which we live, and
helps dispel negative stereotypes and personal biases about different groups.

The term “culturally diverse” is often used interchangeably with the concept of “multiculturalism.”
Multiculturalism is defined as: ―…a system of beliefs and behaviors that recognizes and respects the
presence of all diverse groups in an organization or society, acknowledges and values their socio
cultural differences, and encourages and enables their continued contribution within an inclusive
cultural context which empowers all within the organization or society (Belfield, 2012).

Reflection
 How do you appreciate cultural diversity? Discuss over the advantages and disadvantages?

Diversity Management

Brainstorming Question
 How should we live with our friends/work colleagues from a different culture?

The key to manage diversity is to capitalize more effectively on our capacity for multiple
social identities. All individuals have multicultural heritage, and all of us are capable of
juggling multiple identities across a lifetime (Seelye & Wasilewski, 1996). Hence, to manage
cultural diversities and live with others in harmony, we need to;

 Increase level of understanding about each other‘s cultures by interacting with people
outside of one‘s own culture
 Avoid imposing values on one other that may conflict or be inconsistent with cultures.
 When interacting with others who may not be proficient in one‘s language, recognize that
their limitations in the language proficiency in no way reflects their level of intellectual
functioning.

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 Recognize and understand that concepts within the helping profession, such as family,
gender roles, spirituality, and emotional well-being, vary significantly among cultures and
influence behavior.
 Within the workplace, educational setting, and/or clinical setting, advocate for the use of
materials that are representative of the various cultural groups within the local community
and the society in general.
 Intervene in an appropriate manner when you observe others engaging in behaviors that
show cultural insensitivity, bias, or prejudice.
 Being proactive in listening, accepting, and welcoming people and ideas that are different
from your own
Reflection
 What is the importance of diversity in teaching learning process? Discuss the pros and
cons of diversity.

11.2. Gender and Social Inclusion

Brainstorming Questions
 What is the difference between sex and gender?
 Describe the roles of women in your society.
 Do you think women and men have equal rights and responsibilities in your society?

The term ―sex‖ usually refers to biological phenomena such as hormones and reproduction.
However, gender is an organizing principle of all social systems, including families, work,
schools, economic and legal systems, and everyday interactions. Scholarship conceptualizing
gender as an institution encompasses three levels of analysis: individual, interactional, and
structural (e.g., Risman, 1998). The individual level refers to stable traits of men and women
that endure over time in the process of human life span development, such as differences
believed to be rooted in biology or early childhood socialization. The interactional level
examines the ways in which social behavior is constrained or facilitated by expectations that
people have regarding the traits men and women possess, the ways they should act, and the
beliefs they should hold. The structural level addresses how macro level patterns, such as the
positions to which people are assigned in society or the rewards attached to those positions,
lead to differences in the behavior or experiences of men and women.

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Excluding or limiting women‘s roles and benefits in social, political and economic arena is a
part of human history. Development activities of a given nation mainly emerged from the
cultural orientation of that nations have been denying women benefits that they should have
got despite their significant contribution for the development. Hence, nations, right groups,
nation leaders and scholars have been demanding more rights for women and inclusion of
developmental activities. Therefore, women should benefit from education, economy,
leadership system, development programs and legal system. Build a culture of gender
inclusion across implementing the following is important.

• Encourage inclusive engagement in all areas of development and cross-cutting

initiatives;

• Apply gender-inclusive approaches of development

• Promote good practices in gender inclusion; and

• Optimize resources and prosperity for all

Reflection
 List and discuss the differences and similarities of men and women?
 How do you compare the live of women in urban and rural parts of Ethiopia?

11.3. Interpersonal Communication Skills

Brainstorming Questions

 Have you ever analyzed your relationship with your friend?

 Do you have some kinds of skills to live with your friends?

Interpersonal communication is not just about what is actually said, the language used but
also how it is said and the non-verbal messages sent through tone of voice, facial expressions,
gestures and body language. Core areas in which competency are essential for effective
interpersonal interactions include the following: Self-awareness, effective listening,
questioning, oral communication, helping or facilitating, reflecting, assertiveness and non-
verbal communications (Facial expressions, gaze, gestures, posture, paralinguistic cues).

Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information, feelings, and
meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages. It is face-to-face communication.
Interpersonal skills can be defined broadly as “those skills which one needs in order to communicate

136
effectively with another person or a group of people

Reflection
 What are similarities and differences between interpersonal relationship and
interpersonal communication (reading assignment)
 What are the core areas in which competency are essential for effective interpersonal
interactions? Discuss in detail (reading assignment)

11.4. Social Influences

Brainstorming Questions
 How do you respond if someone orders you to stop?

By definition, social influence occurs when one person (the source) engages in some behavior
(such as persuading, threatening, promising, or issuing orders) that causes another person (the
target) to behave differently from how he or she would otherwise behave. Various outcomes
can result when social influence is attempted. In some cases, the influencing source may
produce attitude change - a change in the target‘s beliefs and attitudes about some issue,
person, or situation. Attitude change is a fairly common result of social influence. In other
cases, however, the source may not really care about changing the target‘s attitudes but only
about securing compliance. Compliance occurs when the target‘s behavior conforms to the
source‘s requests or demands.

Reflection
 How do you react to an order from your family members, friends, teachers, police officers and
other ordinary individuals?
 What are the differences among compliance, conformity and obedience (Reading assignment)

11.5. Peer Pressure

Brainstorming Questions
 How do you explain the following proverbs?
“Birds of the same fly together”?
“Tell me your friends, I will tell you who you are”

Peer pressure is the influence to go along with the beliefs and actions of one‘s peers. Peer
pressure may be positive when it inspires a person to do something worthwhile. The desire to
fit in and feel like you are part of a group is normal, and most people feel this way

137
sometimes, especially in the teen and young adult years. Peer pressure, that feeling that you
have to do something to fit in, be accepted, or be respected, can be tough to deal with. It can
be overt or less direct. Positive peer pressure uses encouraging words and expressions.
Negative peer pressure tries to get a person to do something harmful. It may involve threats,
bribes, teasing, and name-calling. Peers can exert a negative pressure or a positive influence
upon each other, for example: using drugs, misbehaving in class, stealing, making fun of
someone, and the like. On the other hand, peer influence helps someone to do his/her best at
school, playing sports, being inclusive, helping those in need (https://caps.ucsc.edu).

How to Handle Peer Pressure

Brainstorming Questions
 If your friends ask you to go to hotel to drink alcohol, what will be your possible
response? Do accept or refuse? Why? If you reject, do you think you continue your
friendship with the group
 If you go with the crowd and do something you might not have considered before,
what will happen? Could there be a negative outcome? Could you feel bad about
yourself for acting against your values or judgment? All important considerations!

In a college environment, it is very likely that you will meet people with a wide variety of
attitudes and behaviors. At times, it may feel easy to know where you stand and act
accordingly, but at other times, you might feel confused, pressured, or tempted to act against
your own judgment. What's more, college may be a time when you are away from home and
family with more freedom to make your own choices than before. You might even feel a
desire to do things your family doesn't do or doesn't think are right as a way to establish your
own identity and try new things. Again, it's important to reflect on what you think is
important, your values, and who you want to be. It's also good to try and think ahead to
potential consequences of an action.

When faced with overt or indirect pressure to do something you're not sure about, try using
the following strategies:

 Give yourself permission to avoid people or situations that don't feel right and leave a
situation that becomes uncomfortable.
 Check in with yourself. Ask, "How am I feeling about this?" "Does this seem right to
me?" "What are the pros and cons of making this decision?"

138
  Recognize unhealthy dynamics: It's not OK for others to pressure, force, or trick you
into doing things you don't want to or for others to make threats if you don't give in.
It's not OK for others to mock, belittle, shame, or criticize you for your choices. You
can ask others to stop these behaviors, or you can choose to avoid spending time with
people who act in these ways.
 Spend time with people who respect your decisions and won't put unfair pressure on
you to conform.
 Remember that you can't (and don't have to) please everyone or be liked by everyone.
This can be hard to accept, but it helps to try.
 When people or situations that make you feel pressured are not avoidable, try the
"delay tactic": Give yourself time to think about your decision instead of giving an
immediate answer: "Let me think about that," "Can I get back to you?" or "Check
back with me in an hour."
 When you can't avoid or delay a pressure-filled situation, practice saying "No thanks"
or just "No!" If "no" feels uncomfortable, practice using other responses, such as "Not
today," "Maybe another time," or "Thanks, but I can't."
 It's OK to use an excuse if the truth is too challenging. For example, if someone offers
you a drink and you want to say no but feel awkward, say you're on medication or
have to get up early the next day.
 Take a friend who supports you along if you are going to be in a pressure-filled
situation and let them know what your intentions are (e.g., "I don't want to drink, so if
you see me about to, remind me that I wanted to stay sober").
 Stand up for others when you see them being pressured. "Bystander intervention"
(stepping in to help out when you see someone in trouble) can be an effective way to
support others and send a message. If you don't feel comfortable directly confronting
the person doing the pressuring, try distracting them or inviting the person being
pressured to do something else.
 Ask for advice or support from a parent or other trusted family member, a clergy
person, a mentor, or a counselor if you need it.

Reflection
 From the skills listed above, how many of them you have been applying in the
relationship you have with your friends?

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11.6. Assertiveness
Brainstorming Questions
 How much you are good at expressing yourself for others?
 Read the hypothetical story below.
“Once up on a time, Obsan was in journey from his home village to another nearby
village. On his way to the village, he met Chalachew another man travelling in the
opposite direction. After greeting, Obsan asked Chalachew „where are you coming
from?‟ Challachew responded ironically „I am coming from your mother‟s womb.”
Obsan was surprised by Challachew‟s negative response, and replied „okay you are my
brother. I wish good time.”
 What do you understand from the story? Why do you think Challachew reacted in
such a manner? Why Obsan reacted politely? Discuss over it.

Assertiveness is a communication style. It is being able to express your feelings, thoughts,

beliefs, and opinions in an open manner that does not violate the rights of others.
Assertiveness is about having confidence in yourself, a positive attitude about yourself and
towards others, and it is about behaving towards others in a way which is direct and honest.

The main effect of not being assertive is that it can lead to low self esteem. If we
communicate in a passive manner we are not saying what we really feel or think. This means
we can end up agreeing with and fulfilling other people‘s needs or wants rather than our own.
This can result in a lack of purpose, and a feeling of not being in control of our own lives.

If we never express ourselves openly and conceal our thoughts and feelings this can make us
feel tense, stressed, anxious or resentful. It can also lead to unhealthy and uncomfortable
relationships. We will feel like the people closest to us do not really know us.

Assertive behavior includes: (taken from https://www.skillsyouneed.)

 Being open in expressing wishes, thoughts and feelings and encouraging others to do
likewise.
 Listening to the views of others and responding appropriately, whether in agreement
with those views or not.
 Accepting responsibilities and being able to delegate to others.
 Regularly expressing appreciation of others for what they have done or are doing.
 Being able to admit to mistakes and apologise.
 Maintaining self-control.
 Behaving as an equal to others.

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11.7. Conflict and Conflict Resolution

Brainstorming Question
 Is conflict harmful or not?

Conflict occurs between people in all kinds of human relationships and in all social settings.
Because of the wide range of potential differences among people, the absence of conflict
usually signals the absence of meaningful interaction. Conflict by itself is neither good nor
bad. However, the manner in which conflict is handled determines whether it is constructive
or destructive (Deutsch & Coleman, 2000).

Conflict is defined as an incompatibility of goals or values between two or more parties in a

relationship, combined with attempts to control each other and antagonistic feelings toward
each other (Fisher, 1990). The incompatibility or difference may exist in reality or may only
be perceived by the parties involved. Nonetheless, the opposing actions and the hostile
emotions are very real hallmarks of human conflict.

Conflict has the potential for either a great deal of destruction or much creativity and positive
social change (Kriesberg, 1998). Therefore, it is essential to understand the basic processes of
conflict so that we can work to maximize productive outcomes and minimize destructive
ones.

This paperOur discussion will briefly describe some common sources of conflict, the levels
of social interaction at which conflict occurs, and the general strategies of approaching
conflict that are available.

Sources of Conflict

One of the early theorists on conflict, Daniel Katz (1965), created a typology that
distinguishes three main sources of conflict: economic, value, and power.

Economic conflict - involves competing motives to attain scarce resources. Each party wants
to get the most that it can, and the behavior and emotions of each party are directed toward
maximizing its gain.

Value conflict - involves incompatibility in ways of life, ideologies – the preferences,

principles and practices that people believe in.

141
Power conflict - occurs when each party wishes to maintain or maximize the amount of
influence that it exerts in the relationship and the social setting.
Another important source of conflict is ineffective communication. Miscommunication and
misunderstanding can create conflict even where there are no basic incompatibilities. In
addition, parties may have different perceptions as to what are the facts in a situation, and
until they share information and clarify their perceptions, resolution is impossible. Self-
centeredness, selective perception, emotional bias, prejudices, etc., are all forces that lead us
to perceive situations very differently from the other party. Lack of skill in communicating
what we really mean in a clear and respectful fashion often results in confusion, hurt and
anger, all of which simply feed the conflict process. Whether the conflict has objective
sources or is due only to perceptual or communication problems, it is experienced as very real
by the parties involved.

Levels of Conflict
Intrapersonal conflict - conflict in your head between opposing motives or ideas
Interpersonal conflict - occurs when two people have incompatible needs, goals, or
approaches in their relationship.
Role conflict - involves very real differences in role definitions, expectations or
responsibilities between individuals who are interdependent in a social system.
Intergroup conflict - occurs between collections of people such as ethnic or racial groups,
departments or levels of decision making in the same organization, and union and
management.
Multi-party Conflict - occurs in societies when different interest groups and organizations
have varying priorities over resource management and policy development.
International conflict - occurs between states at the global level.

Methods of Conflict Resolution

Brainstorming Question
 Dear students try to remember a story of an ape mediated hyena and lion disputed
over possession of a calf and relate it with assertiveness.

Conflict can result in destructive outcomes or creative ones depending on the approach that is
taken. Given interdependence, three general strategies have been identified that the parties
may take toward dealing with their conflict; win-lose, lose-lose, and win-win (Blake, Shepard
& Mouton, 1964).
142
Win-lose approach – situations result when only one side perceives the outcome as positive.
Thus, win-lose outcomes are less likely to be accepted voluntarily.
Lose-lose strategy- all parties end up being worse off. In some lose-lose situations, all parties
understand that losses are unavoidable and that they will be evenly distributed. In such
situations, lose-lose outcomes can be preferable to win-lose outcomes because the
distribution is at least considered to be fair
Win-win approach - is a conscious and systematic attempt to maximize the goals of both
parties through collaborative problem solving. The conflict is seen as a problem to be solved
rather than a war to be won. The important distinction is we (both parties) versus the
problem, rather than we (one party) versus they (the other party). This method focuses on the
needs and constraints of both parties rather than emphasizing strategies designed to conquer.

11.8. Team Work

Brainstorming
 How do you understand a proverb “Two heads are better than one”

Teams are groups of people with complementary skills who are committed to a common
purpose and hold themselves mutually accountable for its achievement. Ideally, they develop
a distinct identity and work together in a coordinated and mutually supportive way to fulfill
their goal or purpose. Task effectiveness is the extent to which the team is successful in
achieving its task-related objectives. Successful teams are characterized by a team spirit
based around trust, mutual respect, helpfulness and – at best – friendliness.
Effective teamwork results from:
 a team whose membership, size and resources match the task
 good leadership and attention to team-building
 commitment by team members to understand and identify with one another's goals
 the development of team goals – a shared vision
 a sense of common ownership of the task at hand and joint responsibility for its
achievement
 coordinated effort and planned sharing of tasks evenly across the team
 the open exchange of information within the team
 honesty and frankness among team members.

143
11.9. Overcoming Risky Behavior
Brainstorming Question
 What are life threatening risky behaviors during adolescence?

Taking risks is fairly common in adolescence. Yet, risky behaviors can be associated with
serious, long-term, and–in some cases–life-threatening consequences. This is especially the
case when adolescents engage in more than one harmful behavior. A more powerful and cost-
effective approach may be to employ strategies designed to address factors associated with
multiple risky behaviors. These strategies are to:
1. Support and strengthen family functioning;
2. Increase connections between students and their schools;
3. Make communities safe and supportive for children and youth;
4. Promote involvement in high quality out-of-school-time programs;
5. Promote the development of sustained relationships with caring adults;
6. Provide children and youth opportunities to build social and emotional competence;
7. Provide children and youth with high quality education during early and middle
childhood.

Reflection

 Is what you have learned in the chapter has something helpful for your life in the
future? How? Please discuss the contents of the chapter in relation to your
experiences and plan.
 Are there knowledge, understanding, attitudes and skills that you can use and apply
in your campus life? Which ones are more applicable?

Summary
 Culturally diversity/Multiculturalism is defined as: “…a system of beliefs and
behaviors that recognizes and respects the presence of all diverse groups in an
organization or society, acknowledges and values their socio-cultural differences,
and encourages and enables their continued contribution within an inclusive cultural
context which empowers all within the organization or society.
 The key to manage diversity is to capitalize more effectively on our capacity for
multiple social identities.

144
 Nations, right groups, nation leaders and scholars have been demanding more rights
for women and inclusion of developmental activities. Therefore, women should
benefit from education, economy, leadership system, development programs and legal
system. Build a culture of gender inclusion across implementing the following is
important.

 Interpersonal communication is the process by which people exchange information,

feelings, and meaning through verbal and non-verbal messages: it is face-to-face
communication.
 Social influence occurs when one person (the source) engages in some behavior (such
as persuading, threatening or promising, or issuing orders) that causes another person
(the target) to behave differently from how he or she would otherwise behave.
 Assertiveness is a communication style. It is being able to express your feelings,
thoughts, beliefs, and opinions in an open manner that does not violate the rights of
others.
 Conflict is an incompatibility of goals or values between two or more parties in a
relationship, combined with attempts to control each other and antagonistic feelings
toward each other (Fisher, 1990).
 One of the early theorists on conflict, Daniel Katz (1965), created a typology that
distinguishes three main sources of conflict: economic, value, and power.
 Conflict can result in destructive outcomes or creative ones depending on the
approach that is taken. Given interdependence, three general strategies have been
identified that the parties may take toward dealing with their conflict; win-lose, lose-
lose, and win-win (Blake, Shepard & Mouton, 1964).
 Teams are groups of people with complementary skills who are committed to a
common purpose and hold themselves mutually accountable for its achievement.
 Taking risks is fairly common in adolescence. Yet, risky behaviors can be associated
with serious, long-term, and–in some cases–life-threatening consequences.

145
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