The Decade of Deep Love (The 10

Years I Love You The Most) The

Novel

The Decade of Deep Love (The 10 Years I Loved You The Most) - also
known as: Real Author: Wuyiningsi D I S C L A I M E R

I do not own this story (最爱你的那十年).

The original novel belongs to Wuyiningsi.
This is an English translation of the original novel and this translation is for
entertainment purposes only. I don't make money out of it.
Please respect and do not repost or take out without the permission of the
real translators Ruriko & Claire.KK.
Thank you!
 Sypnosis

Sypnosis

They had been together since high school. Together, they faced the cold
faces of their parents and the satirical or disdainful eyes of others, started a
business and experienced all kinds of ups and downs. When their company
was on the right track, Zhishu He was asked to give up his career to stay at
home, while Wenxu Jiang gradually changed and began to indulge in
merry-making. However, Zhishu chose to forgive him. Zhishu got an
incurable disease, while Wenxu Jiang was still indifferent. Zhishu still
chose to forgive him. Love had become a kind of habit, which was equal to
an incurable disease.
In a peaceful sunny day, Zhishu quietly left Wenxu Jiang and the house in
which they had lived for a long time without an advance notice.
Soon he was gone. A man with pure spirit and deep love for Wenxu Jiang
disappeared from this world forever…
Sometimes love cannot stand the test of time. Someone will not know how
to cherish the love until he loses it…
This is a story about the “10 Years I Love You The Most”...
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
01

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 1: Medical Certificate 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************
A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

It was snowing when Zhishu He walked out of the hospital. Snowflakes

were swirling in the air, and then fell on his long eyelashes, slowly melting
into icy water. He blinked and finally realized that it was winter now.

The winter in Beijing was very cold, but his heart was much colder than it.
Zhishu He shivered and wrapped himself in the scarf around his neck tight,
with a crumpled paper in his hand- - it was a medical certificate.

He headed to the bus stop and waited for a bus to come. His fingers were
stiff with cold, but he still tried to dial a number that he was so familiar
with. As time went by, he sank into desperation as no one answered the
phone. He kept dialing but it was in vain.
Zhishu He screwed the paper up and tossed it into the dustbin, feeling
disappointed and frustrated.

Half an hour later, the bus finally came. He got on the bus and sat in a
window seat. There were few people on the bus, quiet and serene, which
relaxed his suppressed anxieties. He pressed his forehead onto the glass
window and dialed the number again. This time someone answered,
"Hello."

"It's snowing now. Winter is coming," Zhishu He said in a low, soft

voice, tears quietly streaming down his cheeks. They had been together for
fourteen years, but now something changed.

On the other end of the line, Wenxu Jiang, who stayed with his new lover,
signaled the young man beside him to be quiet and asked impatiently,
"What's up? I'm still working overtime in my office." Obviously, he was
tired of Zhishu He's puzzling remarks.

"You haven't been home for a long time. Can you come back this
evening?" Zhishu begged as he rubbed the silver ring around his right ring
finger over and over again, tears welling up in his sad eyes, crossed his face
and fell down onto the back of his hand.

Wenxu Jiang got a feeling in his bones that something had happened to
Zhishu He, so he asked, "What's wrong?"

Zhishu He didn't answer his question; instead, he asked again, "Can you
come back this evening? In our hometown, we always eat dumplings
when it snows. I will make some dumplings for you."

"No, I'm busy now," Wenxu Jiang said decidedly as he grew weary of
Zhishu He's monotonous personality. "Stay at home and don't do
anything. I'll ask Assistant Song to send some dumpling to you, okay?
Now I'm going to work again, bye." He hung up the phone without
hesitation after saying that.

Zhishu He's heart ached for Jiang's refusal to return home. He slowly put
his cell phone into his coat just like a soulless walking dead.
Wenxu Jiang was the president of his company. Did he really have so much
work to do that he even had no time to have dinner with Zhishu? Nonsense.

The real reason was that Jiang had a lover outside.

Zhishu He was so sensitive and intelligent that he knew clearly that Wenxu
Jiang had cuckolded him for almost four years. But he turned a blind eye to
this fact, not because he didn't care about it at all but because he feared that
they would break up completely if he put this matter on the table. He had
loved this man for more than ten years, and he would rather tolerate his
betrayals than leave him. This was the true love instead of a sudden impulse
caused by growth hormones.

So in the past four years, Zhishu He had tried his best to ignore the lady
perfume on him, the lipsticks on his collar and his lame excuses.

They used to love each other so much and had experienced so many
difficulties together. Why did they become estranged from each other now?

The bus finally reached his destination, Zhishu He got out of it with red
eyes and a pale face. He masked his sadness with a gentle expression, as if
nothing had happened to him.

He went straight home without buying any food, because he lost his
appetite when he recalled Wenxu Jiang's cruelty. Maybe they wouldn't have
a chance to eat dumplings together in the first snowy night next year. The
Grim Reaper was after him but his spouse pushed him away and refused to
accompany him in the rest of his life.

Song, who was Wenxu Jiang's assistant, came very quickly with a lunch
box in his hands. Song in business suit seemed to just knock off. He rang
the doorbell, waiting for Zhishu He to open the door. Soon he was greeted
by the listless man, "Hi, Song."

Song handed the lunch box to him and asked with concern and respect,
"Mr. He, are you okay?"
Zhishu He nodded and replied with a sheepish expression on his face,
"Sorry to have troubled you. Next time you don't need to run errands
for Wenxu Jiang. Just stay at your post and deal with your own
business."

Song smiled and said, "My duty is to please my boss. He pays me well
and I do everything for him. This is a fair trade."

His words alleviated Zhishu He's guilt, and they had a short chat before
Song finally left.

Zhishu He closed the door and sat at the table, gawking at the lunch box full
of dumplings, helplessly and sorrowfully.

For the 10 years of their cohabitation, every year they would stay together
in the first snowy night. They sat at this table, on which laid dumpling
wrappers and the savoury fillings, and made dumplings in a cheerful
atmosphere. Wenxu Jiang once added many candies and coins in the
dumplings and complained that Zhishu He always got the lucky dumplings
but he didn't. So Zhishu He secretly picked out all the lucky dumplings and
put them in Wenxu Jiang's bowl.

Zhishu He woke up from those memories and found his nose bleeding
again. It happened so frequently these months that he had become
accustomed to the sudden nosebleed. He wiped away the blood with paper
napkins and thought with self-mockery, 'Why did I get the disease? Maybe
it's because I used to give all my lucky dumplings to Wenxu Jiang. Now I'm
not lucky at all.'

At last, he ate only four dumplings and went to bed. Four seasons, four
dumplings. Peace all year round. That was enough for him. Zhishu He lay
on the bed, drifting in and out of consciousness. A slight fever dragged him
into the exhaustion. He needed a good sleep to drown his sorrows.
Tomorrow, was another day.

'Good night, my sweetheart, Wenxu Jiang.'

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
02

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 2: A Bowl of Wonton 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He had trouble sleeping. He got up early in the morning and was
practiced in swallowing a handful of colorful pills with the cold boiled
water left overnight. In the bathroom, he was standing in front of the mirror,
in which the man was pale and lifeless, with dull eyes.

Zhishu He threw cold water onto his face, then pulled out the heavy down
jacket at the bottom of the suitcase and wrapped himself in it.
When he was about to go out, his mobile phone rang. He was disappointed
again. It was not the man he was waiting for, but the doctor who advised
him to receive treatment as soon as possible. Zhishu He answered with his
customary gentle smile, "Thank you. I'll think about it."

It was early, not even eight o'clock yet. The snow might last all night and
nobody knew when it stopped. Zhishu He walked in the snow for half an
hour to the wonton stall that he had been absent for a long time. The vendor
was going to wind up the day's business, but the moment when he saw
Zhishu He, he greeted Zhishu He with a smile, "Long time no see!"

Zhishu He sat at the table, smiling, "I've been lazy and inactive since I
moved."

The vendor's wife came to add hot water in his cup, and cast a few eyes on
Zhishu, feeling a little worried, "You must be too busy. Look at you- -
how weak you are!"

Zhishu He kept smiling without a word. In fact, he was not busy. His health
collapsed just for that there was too much weighing on his mind.

A bowl of wonton. Zhishu He lowered his head, carefully pressing the

floating laver into the hot soup with a spoon. The steaming soup soaked his
eyes. For more than a decade, the price here had never changed, but by only
a bite, he could find that the wonton was smaller with fewer fillings.

So was the love between him and Wenxu Jiang.

Zhishu He had no appetite, but he managed to finish up all the wontons. He

did not dare to look up, because he was afraid that the others would find his
eyes wet. Zhishu He suddenly remembered the moment when he came to
Beijing to make a living with Wenxu Jiang. They were very poor at that
time. One day, they two bought a bowl of wontons, but both were reluctant
to eat. Wenu Jiang refused to move the spoon until Zhishu He divided the
bowl of wontons into two portions at last. He still remembered clearly, that
day, Wenxu Jiang fell all his tears into the bowl and he said, stressing every
word, that for this whole life, he would never let Zhishu He down.
But the promise was something that while the speaker was casual, the
listener was attentive.

Zhishu He thought he could endure the torture brought by the illness, but he
still vomited heavily in the public toilet.

How could he not be afraid? He was afraid of loneliness, of disappointment,

and of walking in the long corridor of the hospital alone. Zhishu He sat
opposite the doctor, looking down at the potted orchids of the doctor whose
surname was Ai. The doctor advised him to accept chemotherapy early, the
earlier the better.

Zhishu He kept silent, while the doctor did not push. Zhishu He managed to
control his emotions after a long silence, and he looked up with a slight
smile, "I'm afraid of hardship... I cannot do it by myself."

"Give me some more medicine and I'll think about it." Zhishu He shook
his head and smiled weakly. "Doctor Ai, I've had fewer nosebleeds lately,
but my fever is getting worse. The other day when I was sleeping at
home, I dreamt that I became a big stove in a trance, with my heart
and lungs fried in the pan. I almost thought that I wouldn't get
through."

Hearing his words, the doctor suddenly stopped prescribing medicine. He

saw plenty of sad stories of people with terminal illness, so he knew well
about their complaint on the unfair life and reluctance to leave the world,
but he had never seen such a man like Zhishu He, who was wrapped by
loneliness all over.

"You are my patient, and I'll always be there for your treatment. It's no
big deal. There's always hope in life, isn't there?" In fact, Doctor Ai was
no older than 30. Most people focused their eyes on his experience and
ability only because he had great achievements in medical field. Now he
was comforting Zhishu He; the tone was so relaxing that at the moment he
was just like a student who was consoling his schoolmate, "It's all right.
You tough it out tonight and we'll go on hunting birds tomorrow."
Zhishu He smiled more sincerely, but he still said, "I'll think about it.
Please give me some medicine."

When Zhishu He was about to leave, Ziyu Ai insisted on giving Zhishu a

pot of orchid in the office, which was valuable but fragile, "Don't go off
into wild flights of fancy when you are alone. Just find something to do,
and it's not bad to grow a flower."

Zhishu He was in a daze and then declined, "Thank you, doctor, but I'm
not very good at growing flowers... Besides, orchid is such a delicate
flower."

"It's not difficult to grow flowers. I hope you decide soon so that I can
arrange treatment for you. If you are well, you will take good care of
my flower," the doctor gave a brief and slightly childish smile, and then
waved his hand.

Zhishu He did not think so actually. Only those who love flowers could take
good care of them, which was just like what he lacked was not casual words
of comfort from the others.

But half a loaf was better than none.

So, he accepted the flower, asked for a plastic bag to wrap it and then put it
in his coat.

Hospitals were short of wonder drugs prescribed by Ziyu Ai. Zhishu He

took it easy, for there was still some medicine in his home. He went back
without any medicine. He had been out for so long that his body was
breaking down.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
03

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 3: “Where You Are, Where My Heart Is” 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

A violent pain ripped through Zhishu He’s whole body when he was
climbing the stairs of the apartment, as if numerous thorns were growing in
his bone and waves of pain penetrated every pore. Although Zhishu He had
the very strong tolerance, he could not stand this pain so that he almost
wanted to kill himself to get rid of it.

Zhishu He struggled to reach his house with the orchid in his arms. After he
walked in the door, he immediately leant against the the wall, feeling dizzy.
He gasped for air and his body was awash with a cold sweat.
He had liked to collect various beautiful glass bottles for appreciation since
he was still a student, but now all the bottles were used to hold his
medicines. There were different pills in different bottles. Misfortune was
hidden in beauty and no one could see it.

Zhishu He was too tired to heat up the water. He poured himself a cup of
cold water and took the medicines. He huddled in bed and put his chin on
the knees. The pain didn’t relieve as if it had rooted deeply in his abdominal
activity. He was thin and and his cheeks were hollow.

Wenxu Jiang hadn’t been home for 19 days. This was the first time he
stayed out for so long. Zhishu He missed him all the time. A few days ago,
he went to hospital for the bone marrow puncture. When he was waiting in
the corridor, he heard the sobs of other patient clearly. But he was very calm
and just asked the nurse one question- “Can I stand up after doing this? I
need to go home by myself.” He was afraid that Wenxu Jiang would be
worried if he came home and didn’t see him.

Zhishu He got a splitting headache, with his fingers curling and brows
knitted. At this point, he was just like a drowning man who was so
desperate because he failed to catch the driftwood anyway. He couldn’t
sleep, so he got out of the bed and unlocked the desk drawer. There was a
book lying in it.

He carefully took it out, went to the living room, and then sat down on the
sofa. It was an old book of Zheng Jane’s essays. He gently opened the book
while a faint gentle smile appeared on his face.

The pages had yellowed with ages. But on the first page, the sentence
transcribed by Wenxu Jiang was still clear and firm. His handwriting was
flowing and graceful- -

“Where you are, where my heart is.”

Fourteen years ago, a tall young boy gave Zhishu He this book, flushing up
to the ears, and said in a stiff tone, “I have heard that you like Zheng
Jane’s essays, so I bought this book for you. I hope you will like it... and
like me too!” Until now, Zhishu He still remembered Wenxu Jiang’s shy
face and loving eyes.

Everything changed now, including the boy. Zhishu He bit his lips and held
the book tightly in his arms. Then he curled up on the sofa, staring at the
door with vacant eyes. He didn’t cry but his heart was like dead ashes.

In the evening, Wenxu Jiang finally went home. Hearing the sound of the
key turning, Zhishu He woke up immediately and sat up slowly.

The room was dark. Wenxu Jiang reached out to turn on the light and
thought that Zhishu He must have slept in the bedroom. But Jiang didn’t
expect to see the man sitting in the sofa with a pale face, just like a ghost.

Wenxu Jiang was taken aback and snarled, “Oh, fuck! You scared me!
Why didn’t you turn on the light?”

He couldn’t help feeling a bit irritated when he looked at his spouse. These
days much of his time was spent with his new lover, an art student whose
name was Zui Shen. After receiving the call from Zhishu He last night, for
some unknown reasons, Wenxu Jiang got a guilty conscience and lost his
interest in his new lover. So he decided to come home and see if something
really happened to Zhishu He.

“I just woke up, when you came in. I didn’t have time to turn on the
light. Have you finished all the work yet?” Zhishu He asked tenderly and
put the book on the tea table.

Wenxu Jiang took off his overcoat and threw it on the sofa without casting a
glance at that book. He raised his hand to loosen his tie and lied with a
straight face, “No, I still have much work to do. But I miss you very
much, so I come home to see you. You barely call me for days.”

Wenxu Jiang let his eyes settle upon Zhishu He’s face and slowly frowned.
“You seem thinner than before. Have you taken good care of yourself?
You look like a drug addict and it makes me sick!” he said coldly before
he went to the bathroom to take a shower.
Those merciless remarks cut Zhishu He to the quick and he felt as if a knife
pierced through his heart. He knew clearly that Wenxu Jiang didn’t cared
about his health at all but felt disgusted at his haggard face and imaciated
body. His new lover must be a beauty.

Zhishu He curled his lips into a sarcastic smile. He wanted to live a happy
life, but fate played a trick on him. He suffered from the illness and was
wasting away. Now Wenxu Jiang scolded him for his weary-looking. Did he
need to apologize for getting ugly? How ridiculous! Even the vendor of the
wonton stall had noticed his ill health, even the doctor who had been
accustomed to life and death advised him not to give up his life, but this
man, who had been with him for more than ten years, was completely
unaware of his sickness.

Zhishu He knew Wenxu Jiang very well. He was such a cruel man that he
would not show any tender and patience to someone whom he was not
interested in. He used to love Zhishu He, but now he had a change of heart.
All his love for Zhishu He had gone with wind. Now he was even unwilling
to spare a glance for Zhishu.

Zhishu He could do nothing about it.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
04

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 4: Could They Be Together Forever? 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He’s heart had been gnawed away at by lies repeatedly told by
Wenxu Jiang for these fourteen years. He was tired of lies and didn’t want
to waste his mental energy on those lies.

Zhishu He almost fell asleep as Wenxu Jiang was taking a shower. When
Wenxu Jiang lay on the bed and scooped Zhishu into his arms from his
back, Jiang surprisingly found Zhishu actually skinnier than he looked.
Wenxu Jiang was concerned about Zhishu’s condition, but he refrained
from showing too much care and only asked, “How much weight did you
lose?
“I don’t eat much as I don’t have a good appetite recently,” Zhishu He
replied with coldness, whose eyes were full of faint disappointment.

He didn’t notice Zhishu He’s expression on his face. Wenxu Jiang began to
kiss his back along He’s shoulder blade inch by inch, which was obviously
one of his flirting skills, trying to sex He up.

“I am so tired, so I didn’t want to make love,” Zhishu He turned to Jiang

and softly pushed him away.

Wenxu Jiang didn’t mean to have sex at the moment, because he had a lot
of sex with his lovers these days. However, he was disappointed to be
turned down by Zhishu He, who had always been compliant and agreeable.
His face darkened a little for He’s refusal, “You don’t miss me these
days?”

Zhishu He turned his back to him and lay down again. He turned off the
lamp on the bedside table, “I’ve got a cold. I feel tired and want to sleep.
You’d better not stay up too.”

Wenxu Jiang was not comfortable with abnormal behaviors of Zhishu He,
who definitely hid a big secret from him. However, Zhishu He usually
didn’t speak much and seldom revealed his feelings, so he was hard to be
seen through. What was more, Wenxu Jiang had been out of home for so
many days, he knew he didn’t stand a position to accuse He, so he turned
his back to Zhishu He and decided to sleep.

The eyes of Zhishu He were wide open in the dark. He was still suffering
from the headache because of the insomnia which had lasted for more than
ten days. He expected to be comforted a little by Wenxu Jiang’s return;
however, it only turned out to be a more torturing situation.

Zhishu He’s mother once doubted whether their relationship could last
forever, with no legal protection, no blessing from family and friends, and
even no child of their own to bond with each other. How could Zhishu He
merely depend on love to sustain their relationship? As Wenxu Jiang’s
favorite, He could be easily replaced, since some characteristics which used
to attract Jiang could also be owned by others, probably by better ones.
People were saying that love would soon come to an end if one party began
expecting to maintain the relationship by former affection.

Leaving Jiang was his last choice, He thought, as he gently turned around to
look at Wenxu Jiang who was sound asleep. He softly put his arms around
Jiang’s waist, whispering, “It’s less than one year... I don’t care that you
have other lovers as long as you keep them outside. I just want peace...”

Wenxu Jiang who was still in a deep sleep, instinctively held Zhishu He into
his arms at once, and rubbed the soft hair of Zhishu He with his face,
murmuring, “...Little Shu...”

The tears appeared in the eyes of Zhishu He, dropped into the sideburns,
and then immediately disappeared. It was too hard to resist Jiang’s gentle
love, even if He knew it was just a sleep talk.

It was Zhishu He who was courted in the first place, and over the years it
was also Zhishu He who gave most for their relationship. When their
business became stable, Zhishu He took Jiang’s advice to retire from work
and stay at home to take care of Jiang; in fact, it was because Wenxu Jiang
didn’t want Zhishu He to meet other men. Zhishu had no complaint but
started to learn to do housework and cook. His shares in the company were
also given to Wenxu Jiang. Now Zhishu He was facing to lose his fortune as
well as his love.

Zhishu He even didn’t have as much money as Wenxu Jiang’s lovers had.
The treatment of his illness costed him a lot. The reason that He asked for
more time of consideration was because he was more afraid of revealing his
poor financial situation rather than the illness itself.

“You can’t be so cruel to me... I have been never really angry with
you... but if you continue to be like this, I would disappear in your life,
and never return again...” After saying that, Zhishu He realized how
ridiculous it was to say so. He couldn’t help wondering whether his life
would be totally different if he had chosen another way of life, instead of
Wenxu Jiang. Otherwise, he would have had his own friends, and a true
love for the rest of his life, blessed by his family and friends; he would have
had his own happiness as an ordinary person would have.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
05

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 5: Suspicion Caused by a Potted Orchid 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

However, the man lying beside Zhishu He gave him the courage to fight
against death. Though he was hurt badly by Wenxu Jiang's indifference, he
still lived in hope that they would be reconciled.

Maybe this was the so-called "love", which could hurt you, but also could
save your soul and give your courage.

Zhishu He was really popular since childhood. He had got good academic
records, gentle character and handsome appearance, and his clear and mild
eyes had attracted so many girls. When he was a student, girls around him
groveled to him as long as he gave them a gentle look. He was very good at
studying but he didn't go to the university; instead, he left his hometown
and eloped with Wenxu Jiang. After he began to work, still so many people,
including rich women, rich men, boys and girls, were attracted to him. But
Zhishu He never changed his mind of loving Jiang.

He once almost drank to death for their business. Although he know that he
could achieve his goal easily as long as he slept with the cooperators, he
never cuckolded Jiang. At that time, Jiang was under great pressure at work,
so he always gave Zhishu He rough treatment when they had sex.
Afterwards, their company developed and gained a foothold in the market.
Zhishu He was gradually ignored by Wenxu Jiang. Jiang didn't allow
Zhishu to deal with public relations any more, and rarely had intimate sex
with him.

Zhishu He got out of bed quietly and sat on the sofa. He took a cigarette out
of the cigarette case and lit it up. When he was young, he valued his health
very much, but drinking and the second-hand smoke ruined it in that
decade. Even though what he had suffered was all due to Jiang, he never
regretted his decision of being together with Jiang. He loved Jiang with his
heart and soul.

Zhishu He had loved Wenxu Jiang for fourteen years, now his love was
slowly disappearing in suspicion. He had been disappointed for so long that
he despaired of their future. In the beginning, he tolerated Wenxu Jiang's
betrayal because of his deep love, but now it became a habit, or maybe he
became indifferent to Jiang's affairs.

Zhishu He slumbered on the sofa for a while, and when he woke up early in
the morning, he found himself running a fever. He poured out some pills
into his palm and waited for the water to boil.

"Why did you get up so early? I felt uneasy when I opened my eyes and
found you were not in the bed," Wenxu Jiang complained like a spoiled
child. His hair was uncombed, which made him look much younger than his
age.
"I'm accustomed to getting up early. I haven't made breakfast and you
can go out for it," Zhishu He said in an indifferent tone as he added some
hot water to the cold water in his cup, and then took a handful of pills.

Wenxu Jiang was offended by Zhishu's indifference. He was about to lose

his temper but held back the anger in time at the sight of Zhishu taking
pills, and asked with concern, "You look pale. Are you sick?"

"It's getting cold and I caught a cold," Zhishu He smiled and continued.
"Nothing serious. Aren't you going to the company today?"

Wenxu Jiang heard the irony in Zhishu's voice. He lowered his head, feeling
somewhat guilty, and answered, "No. Today I want to stay home with
you."

Zhishu He didn't show any pleasure at Jiang's words. He put the pot on the
gas range and said, "Okay. I will cook some noodles with tomato soup
for you."

"Good," Wenxu Jiang was relieved and lay down on the sofa leisurely,
waiting for his breakfast.

The smell of lampblack made Zhishu He sick, and he could not help but
think that Jiang was born to be his bane.

He just put the noodles into the hot soup before he heard Wenxu Jiang's
voice coming from the living room, "You bought an orchid? I remember
that you don't like growing flowers before."

Zhishu He paused his movement while replying, "My friend gave it to me,
and I just keep it for fun."

"When did you make a friend? Do I know him? This orchid is rare and
expensive. Did he present you with this just to make you happy?"
Wenxu Jiang fired several questions.

His jealousy annoyed Zhishu He. How dared Wenxu Jiang scold him after
playing around with his lovers? Jiang was the most shameless man he had
ever seen! He was too angry to answer Jiang's questions.

"Zhishu He!" Jiang said stiffly, "Answer my questions!"

"You can stay out and have fun with your friends. Why can't I do the
same thing?" Zhishu He turned off the gas cooker, leaving the half-cooked
noodles in the pot to stick together.

Wenxu Jiang flew into a rage with shame, "What the hell did you mean? I
worked hard in the company to make money for you. You treat me as a
playboy? What the fuck is wrong with you?!"

Zhishu He sneered, "For me? Are you kidding me? I gave you thirty
percent of the company' shares. And this house is our joint property. I
don't need your money, Wenxu Jiang."

Hearing Zhishu He's pointed remarks, Jiang was vexed and somewhat
terrified of Zhishu's sudden anger and unrelenting criticism, but he didn't
admit defeat and quickly retorted, "Are you afraid that I would find your
amour? This orchid is worth a down payment of a new house. Your
new lover was so generous that you have fallen love with him? So that's
the real reason that you refused to have sex with me, right?"

Zhishu He really didn't know that this orchid was so expensive; otherwise,
he would not have accepted it. He didn't expect Doctor Ai to be so rich and
generous.

Anyway, he didn't have an affair with others but Wenxu Jiang did. And he
felt uncomfortable for the illness. So Zhishu He got angrier and scolded, "If
you don't want to stay at home, just get out of here. I don't care what
you have done outside, and you are not qualified to meddle in my
affairs."

Wenxu Jiang fell into a towering rage and took two steps forward. He lifted
his hand and was about to slap Zhishu.

Zhishu He gazed at him with a heartbroken expression, tears rolling down

his cheeks, and then he asked, "Do you really want to slap me?" His tears
pricked Wenxu Jiang's heart. He put his hand down and felt helpless.
"There are so many boys and girls outside waiting for me. Since you
don't cherish my love, I'll leave right now!" he thought with a grievance,
took his coat and went straight out of the house without looking back at
Zhishu.

Zhishu He frowned and wiped away his tears. He filled the bowl with
noodles and sat at the table. Although he lost his appetite in the quarrel, he
still tried hard to swallow the noodles. He was sick of both noodles and
Wenxu Jiang, but at least, noodles would not hurt his heart.

However, a few minutes later, he vomited up all he had just eaten and even
spat out a mouthful of blood. Love not only hurt his feelings, but also hurt
his body.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
06

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 6: Doctor Ai 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He stayed in the bathroom, waiting for the sense of nausea to

disappear, and then he went to the bedroom and changed his clothes. He
held the orchid in his arms and walked out of the house.

The winter in the north was dry and cold, wind always blowing. Zhishu He
wore his thickest down jacket and spent more than 80 Yuan on taking a taxi
to the hospital.
When Ziyu Ai heard the sound of knocking on the door and turned around,
he saw a person dressed like a creamy-white ball rolling into his office. The
person pulled his scarf down and showed a thin, pale face, which succeeded
in stopping Ziyu Ai’s laughter.

“Doctor Ai,” Zhishu He greeted him with a gentle expression.

Ziyu Ai immediately poured a cup of hot water and handed it to Zhishu. He

frowned when he touched Zhishu’s icy cold fingertips, and asked
concernedly, “It’s very cold outside. Are you here to get your
medicines?”

“Yes, by the way,” Zhishu He smiled and put the orchid on Ziyu Ai’s table,
and continued, “I bring your ‘house’ back to you. Someone told me that
it was worth a down payment of a house.”

It was the first time that Zhishu He spoke to Ziyu Ai in such a joking tone,
though they had known each other for almost two months.

Ziyu Ai ran his fingers along the withered long leaves of the orchid and said
in a careless voice, “It’s just a plant. If you think it’s too delicate to
keep, I will ask my father for some other plants that are easy to grow
for you. He grows a lot of plants.”

Zhishu He didn’t want to accept his kindness as he had no energy to make a

friend. He just twisted his lips into a faint smile and changed the subject, “I
vomited again this morning, and this time I even vomited blood. It was
different from the gastric bleeding that I suffered a few years ago
because of drinking too much. This morning when I vomited, I felt my
life slowly fading away.”

“I have advised you to accept the chemotherapy as soon as possible...”

Ziyu Ai frowned and subconciously began to spin the pen, which showed
that he fretted. “You are only thirty years old and still young. And you
look rich. Why don’t you actively cooperate with us on the treatment?

“I need to think it over,” Zhishu He dropped his eyes wearily.

“Two months ago, you said the same words. Do you want to just take
the medicines and hang on till the New year?” Ziyu Ai said.

Zhishu He picked the cup up and drank some warm water without
answering his question. Then he asked, “Have my medicines arrived
here? I’m not feeling good now.”

“If you don’t accept the chemotherapy, I won’t give you the
medicines,” Ziyu Ai got angry for some reasons. “I have been looking for
the bone marrow for you these days, but if you don’t take your health
seriously, no one can save you!”

Ziyu Ai’s words warmed Zhishu He’s heart, and he broke into a sincere
smile, “You are a good doctor, and if all doctors are like you, there
won’t be so many doctor-patient conflicts in the world.”

“Don’t flatter me,” Ziyu Ai stood up and took off his white gown. “I’m
off duty this afternoon. Now let’s go straight to the Medicine Center
and get your medicines. You need a new prescription, but I don’t want
to write it. So I’ll go with you.”

“You are so wayward.” Zhishu He sighed and could not help reminding
Ziyu Ai when he saw him just wear a thin windbreaker, “It’s so cold
outside. You need a thick coat.”

Ziyi Ai didn’t take his words to heart. They went together to the Medicine
Center. After getting the medicines, Zhishu He thanked him and turned
around to leave, but he was stopped by Ziyu Ai. “Let me drive you home.
It’s not easy to hail a taxi in such a cold day.”

In consideration of the cold weather and own poor health, Zhishu He

agreed.

When he saw Ziyu Ai’s car, he got a new understanding of his riches. It was
a Ferrari, looking eye-catching. The doctor was even more high-profile and
extravagant than Wenxu Jiang.
“I don’t like to be regarded as a good-for-nothing born in a wealthy
family, so I studied hard to be an excellent doctor, and my father is so
proud of me now,” Ziyu Ai’s nerves relieved after leaving the hospital. He
looked vigorous as he drove the car.

Zhishu He looked out the window for a while before he whispered, “I used
to want to be a doctor and filled three medical universities’ names in
my College Application Form...”

“You failed in the college entrance examination?”

“I didn’t take the exam,” Zhishu He said with a blank expression on his
face. “After that, for a long time I easily woke up from sleep with
crying. Though I didn’t regret my decision, it always came to my
dream and tortured me.”

Ziyu Ai was very considerate. He kept silence for a few minutes, waiting
for Zhishu He to calm down, before he said in an ostensibly lively tune,
“Now you live well and your house is in a very good position. Maybe it
is a good decision for you to discontinue your studies. If my father
didn’t pay for my university education, now I would live a hard life.”

Zhishu He slightly smiled and stopped talking about his past. Finally, he
asked Ziyu Ai to park at the entrance of the housing estate.

“Thank you, Doctor Ai. When you are free, I will invite you to dinner.”

“Come on, if you have time, just go to the hospital and let me treat
you,” Ziyu Ai said in Beijing dialect. He was a humorous and charming
man in private.

Zhishu He waved a good-bye to Ziyu Ai and stood still, watching him drive
away. Then he tightened up the scarf around his neck and turned around to
go home when he saw Wenxu Jiang’s car parked on the side of the road.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
07

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 7: Conflict 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

The Mercedes-Benz S600 Pullman Guard at the roadside had tinted

windows so that Zhishu He couldn’t see whether Wenxu Jiang was in it or
not. He waited for a while but no one got out of it, so he went straight
home.

There was nobody at home. Zhishu He changed his shoes and sat on the
sofa, and then he heard the sound of the key turning.

Wenxu Jiang had sunk into bitter jealousy as soon as he walked out of the
house this morning. He felt uncomfortable at the thought of Zhishu making
friends with some unknown man outside as he knew clearly about men’s
odious natural character and feared that Zhishu would cheat on him. From
his point of view, he could find a lover and have an affair, but he didn’t
allow Zhishu He to do the same things. He didn’t trust the new friend of
Zhishu.

Wenxu Jiang sat in the car and thought for a long time before he decided to
return home and had to have a heart-to-heart talk with Zhishu. Although he
had been tired of Zhishu He’s uninteresting personality and monotonous
sexual skills, he felt a moment of pure panic of losing his spouse. He didn’t
expect Zhishu He also went out after he just left the home.

“Who’s the man? I saw him send you back!” Wenxu Jiang opened the
door and said with a surge of great fury, “Couldn’t the cold weather cool
your sexual desire down?”

Zhishu He pressed his temples and replied, “It’s just a friend.”

“The friend who gave you the orchid?” Wenxu Jiang slammed the door
shut with a bang. “How did you know him? Can you introduce me to
your new friend?”

“He’s a doctor, and I got to know him when I went to the hospital to get
some medicines,” Zhishu He said in an emotionless tone as he slowly took
his down jacket off, folded it carefully, and then put it down on the sofa.

Wenxu Jiang sneered, “He must be an excellent doctor. Alright, where is

your medicine?”

He just look at Zhishu He with cold doubtful eyes and showed no concern
for Zhishu He’s illness. He didn’t ask Zhishu how long he had been ill and
if he often went to the hospital to see the doctor. He only cared about
whether Zhishu cuckolded him or not.

“I left it in his car,” Zhishu He curled his lips into an ironical smile, as he
finally realized that Jiang had a double standard and they were unequal at
all in this love. He looked up at Jiang’s eyes and said, “Take it easy.
Although the doctor is a charming man who’s young, rich and tender,
he is dissatisfied with me. So, we won’t be together.”

Having spent years on business, Wenxu Jiang was able to control his temper
but he always behaved like an ill-tempered boy in front of Zhishu He. His
eyes reddened as he grasped Zhishu He’s collar and said, “Do you want to
be with him?”

“It’s hard to tell what’s going on in the minds of other people. So, don’t
ask me that. Even I say no, you won’t believe me, will you? Zhishu He
could not shake Jiang’s hands off; instead, he felt his face burning for the
lack of air.

“You must get lonely because I didn’t return home for several days.
You are eager to seek a lover, right? Zhishu He, I really didn’t know
you well before,” Wenxu Jiang suddenly shoved Zhishu down on the sofa,
and looked down at him with a contemptuous expression on the face.

Although Zhishu He was gentle and quiet, he had his own principles and
couldn’t bear these insulting remarks. “Good, you have seen through my
mind. Now, what? Are you scared by me?” he completely gave up
arguing with Jiang.

These words needled Wenxu Jiang and he raised his hand and gave Zhishu
a hard slap on the cheek.

Zhishu He was completely stunned. His brain was in buzz before he felt the
pain in his cheek. The slap brought his thoughts back to the past.

In the past, they had many quarrels with each other and even exchanged
blows, but Wenxu Jiang never slapped his face. Jiang used to treat Zhishu
as a treasure and always vented his anger by screwing Zhishu on the bed.

It was the first time that Jiang slapped Zhishu’s face, which gave Zhishu a
huge blow.

Zhishu He didn’t feel any pleasure for Jiang’s jealousy and suspicion. He
only felt a chill creeping over his heart as he knew that Wenxu Jiang got
angry just because of the possessiveness which had nothing to do with love.

When Jiang really loved someone, he would be very jealous but never show
it, just as what he had done to Zhishu in the past. Like a wild wolf
pretending to be a faithful dog, he would hide all his anger and envy, and
rush back home immediately as long as Zhishu called him. He would look
at Zhishu with watery eyes and say in a worried, aggrieved and straight-out
tone, “I am jealous... Can you stay away from him? You’ve ignored me
for several days.”

When he really cared about someone, he wouldn’t hurt his sweetheart by

sarcasm and slaps.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
08

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 8: Let’s Break Up 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang regretted as soon as he slapped Zhishu He. These years he ran
a big company and people around him all fawned on him. Gradually, he
became egocentric and couldn’t bear to be offended by other people. But he
never wanted to hurt Zhishu He.

“You shouldn’t bicker with me over an outsider.” Though Wenxu Jiang

felt somewhat guilty, he covered it with a self-righteous face and said,
“Your friend must not be a good guy. Keep away from him.”
Zhishu He pushed Jiang aside and sat upright. He raised his hand and
touched his swollen cheek lightly with a mocking smile on his face.

“I don’t think you are a good man. Maybe I should keep away from
you first. In the beginning, I felt we would be together for a lifetime no
matter how difficult it might be. The seven-year itch didn’t separate us
and we have lived together for more than ten years. But now we both
have changed. Someone changes for own decision while the other just
has to,” Zhishu He closed his eyes, feeling a sense of helplessness, and
made up his mind to quit their relationship as he was tired of Jiang’s
suspicion and jealousy, and this hopeless relationship.

“Let’s break up. I don’t want to wait for a spouse who seldom comes
back home,” Zhishu said in a soft voice with a faint smile on his face. He
was calm and relaxed as if he just had a casual chat with his lover.

Wenxu Jiang was stunned for a few moments before he said bitterly,
“Right. You have a new lover. Now you want to break up with me and
be together with him? No way! I won’t let you go!”

“I have given you thirty percent of the company’s shares. Isn’t it

enough to compensate for your time wasted on me?” Zhishu He said
ironically.

“You reminded me. This house is under my name. When we bought the
house, you thought it troublesome to register the house as our joint
property. So you didn’t sign your name. Legally, I’m the only owner,”
Wenxu Jiang sneered. “If you really want to break up with me, you will
be penniless. Oh, I forgot that you have got a new lover. He will take
care of you. And in this way, you don’t need this house at all, right?”

Zhishu He frowned, his eyes full of sadness and exhaustion, his smile
slowly disappearing, and then he sighed gently, “Jiang, why are you so
cruel? After all, we’ve been together for fourteen years. It’s a long
time.”

For some reason, a spasm of pain contorted Wenxu Jiang’s face and shot up
his heart. He came up to Zhishu, put his arm around Zhishu’s shoulders, and
then said softly, “Zhishu, I don’t want to break up with you. I am just
kidding. You know I’m bad-tempered and sometimes talk nonsense.
Why did you anger me on purpose? Let’s forget what I said just now
and...”

“Let’s break up,” Zhishu He said again, as he picked his cellphone on the
tea table up and sent a short message to Ziyu Ai-“I decide to accept the
chemotherapy.”

Wenxu Jiang tried his best to choke back his rage so that his whole body
was trembling and his temples were throbbing. “Don’t play a trick on me,
Zhishu He.”

“I’m serious. You know, when I make a decision, I never take it back,”
said Zhishu He.

Wenxu Jiang clenched his teeth. Suddenly, he grabbed Zhishu’s wrist and
pulled him out of the house. “Okay, you are a fucking courageous man.
Get out of here! Now!”

At first, Wenxu Jiang thought it was just a normal quarrel but never
expected that Zhishu would split up with him. He couldn’t tell the feeling
he had suffered now was caused by the anger or fear. His heart was
overwhelmed with the distress, and at this point, he only wanted to give
vent to his anger.

Zhishu He was shut out of the house by Wenxu Jiang. He wore only thin
shirt, unlined trousers and cotton slippers.

It was not cold in the high-end apartment. But Zhishu He was too weak to
leave the apartment because of his illness. He squatted down, held his knees
and buried his face between them, his body slightly shivering.

His nose began to bleed again. He wiped it with his shirt casually, and had a
splitting headache; his eyesight grew dim. He felt cold and bitterly
disappointed. In his eyes, the man he had loved for fourteen years became
strange and distant.
Zhishu He got a fever. In the twilight state caused by pain and fever, he
seemed to see a ray of light pouring into the dark corridor and a tall,
handsome boy with a basketball in his hands walking towards him. The boy
wore a bright smile, like a silly wolfhound, his eyes full of adoration.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
09

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 9: Jasmine in Memory 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

At first, Wenxu Jiang and Zhishu He were ordinary classmates. Jiang was
admitted to their high school as a student skilled in art. He excelled at sport
but disliked studying. He always slept or drew pictures in class. In contrast
with him, Zhishu He was a straight-A student who was good-looking and
very popular among their classmates and teachers. Although he was not
voluble and gregarious, he was well received because of his gentle smile
which could melt people’s hearts.

Afterwards, they became desk-mates by accident. The first thing Wenxu

Jiang said to Zhishu He was “You smell good.”
Zhishu He’s grandfather had got a yard full of the jasmines. In the
florescence, their house was full of the fragrance of jasmine flowers and
Zhishu was wearing the same fragrance.

The next day, Zhishu He picked some jasmine flowers and gave them to
Wenxu Jiang. Jiang gave him a big smile, rubbed his head and said,
“Thank you.”

Wenxu Jiang was thoughtful. He knew that Zhishu hated to be disturbed in

study, so he quietly slept or drew in class, and after class, he went to play
basketball with a group of boys. Many girls in their class liked Jiang and
often talked about him at break.

As a student, Wenxu Jiang was also afraid of being scolded by their class
teacher. So sometimes he would come to school early and only asked
Zhishu He for the exercise book as bold as brass, “Little Shu, can I copy
your homework? I haven’t finished it. Help me, please.” Zhishu He
always compromised with Jiang.

They got along with each other as normal desk-mates. One day when
Zhishu came upstairs, he saw Wenxu Jiang come down the stairs in a daze.
Suddenly, Jiang missed his footing and fell to the ground, scraping his knee,
which terrified Zhishu. He rushed to Jiang and helped him up.

Wenxu Jiang put his chin on Zhishu’s shoulder, gasping with pain. “You
smell nice. Just now you caught my eye, so I missed my footing,” he
whispered in Zhishu’s ear.
Zhishu He was stunned by these words.

After that day, they felt much closer to each other. Wenxu Jiang often took
Zhishu He to watch his basketball games and had him keep his coat and
water bottle. The adorers of Jiang were upset but could do nothing since
Jiang only allowed He to touch his belongings. Every time Zhishu He was
present, Jiang put up a good performance as if he had taken stimulants.

Then one day, Zhishu He accidentally found that Wenxu Jiang, who hated
reading most, was reading a foreign poetry anthology. He held the book and
frowned in bewilderment, trying hard to understand the meaning of the
poetry.

“Do you want to be a poet?” Zhishu He asked in a teasing tone.

Wenxu Jiang raised his eyebrows and said confidently, “Yesterday I heard
you talk about this book with the study cadre (a student in charge of
studies in the class). Since he could fully understand it, I think I can do
the same thing. You can discuss with me later.”

Zhishu He smiled and said, “I don’t like this book. The study cadre likes
some non-mainstream poems, but I like Zheng Jane’s writing. She is a
famous authoress in Taiwan.”

In early June of that year, Zhishu He took Wenxu Jiang to his grandfather’s
yard to see the jasmine flowers which were about to wither. They walked
slowly for more than an hour before they arrived at the grandfather’s house.
When they were near the yard, a slight breeze rose, wafting the lovely scent
of flowers to them.

Wenxu Jiang suddenly held Zhishu He, leaning his head against Zhishu’s
neck. He took a sniff and said with smiling eyes, “It’s the same fragrance
as yours. Zhishu, you smell nice.”

Zhishu He blushed at his words.

From then on, Wenxu Jiang began to study hard. He stopped playing
basketball during breaks; instead, he drew pictures.

One day the physics teacher asked Wenxu Jiang to move the exercise books
of all the students to his office. A gust of wind blew over their desk and
opened Jiang’s sketch book. Zhishu He’s heart skipped a beat at the sight of
the pictures in sketch book which was full of Zhishu’s portraits. Wenxu
Jiang had drawn Zhishu He carefully from every angle, and every lifelike
portrait seemed to speak his love.

In the final exam of Senior Two, Zhishu He got the first place and Wenxu
Jiang took the second. Jiang asked Zhishu out and held his hand at the end
of an alley. He gave Zhishu a book of Zheng Jane and said in a soft, loving
voice, “I have heard that you like Zheng Jane’s essays, so I bought this
book for you. I hope you will like it... and like me too!”

At that time, Wenxu Jiang was seventeen years old and they fell in love.
They had been together for fourteen years and went through many ups and
downs.

Now, Wenxu Jiang was thirty-one years old, and Zhishu He was thirty.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
10

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 10: It Just Felt like a Rape 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He tilted his head with a desolate look on his face. He gawked at the
dark corridor and recalled their sweet days with the fragrance of jasmine
flowers. When Jiang was seventeen, he coaxed Zhishu into having sex with
him on Jiang’s birthday. Now Zhishu could only remember the pain when
they first made love. The sweetness and love between them disappeared as
the years went by. Now only disappointment was left.

These years Wenxu Jiang had seen lots of beautiful girls and boys. He got
fed up with Zhishu He’s monotony. Moreover, Zhishu lost the fragrance of
jasmine flowers and became pale and weak due to housework and illness.
After a while, the door was opened from the inside. Wenxu Jiang looked
down at him and said coldly, “Come in now or stay outside all night,
choose one.”

Zhishu He struggled to stand up with his numb legs and took faltering steps
to the bathroom, suffering the heartache for the affection between them
wore off. The most painful thing was not you never got true love, but that
the best you got was gone now.

Wenxu Jiang originally intended to vent his remaining anger on Zhishue as

he really got irritated by the cruelty of Zhishu’s words, wondering what was
wrong with Zhishu who even dared to break up with him now. But Jiang
froze at the sight of Zhishu’s shirt stained with blood.

Zhishu He took off his clothes, turned on the hot shower and stood under it.
The hot water flowed through his whole body, washing every inch of his
skin. He looked thinner in the steam.

“What did you do outside the door?” Wenxu Jiang asked with the
bloodstained shirt in his hands.

“I got a nosebleed,” Zhishu He answered in a flat tone and lifted his hand
to wipe the water from his face.

“Why didn’t you knock on the door? If I knew that, I would let you in,”
Wenxu Jiang threw the bloodstained shirt aside. He shut the bathroom door
and walked toward Zhishu He, while he stripped off his clothes and threw
them in the laundry basket.

Wenxu Jiang held Zhishu He in his arms and kissed him, his hands groping
Zhishu from the waist to the chest. Jiang slowly frowned and complained,
“Have you taken drugs? You are skinny now.”

Zhishu He shook his head and said nothing.

Wenxu Jiang ignored his indifference and reached out his hand to turn down
the shower. Then he pinned Zhishu against the wall and kissed him hard on
the lips, his hand kneading Zhishu’s waist, one of his erogenous zones.
Zhishu He shivered when his back touched the icy cold ceramic tiles. He
was too tired to cater to Wenxu Jiang. Jiang tried his best to arouse his
desire, which only made Zhishu feel sick. Although Zhishu He didn’t hire a
detective to snoop on Jiang, he knew clearly that Jiang had many lovers
outside.

“Let me go. I’m tired, and I don’t want to make love with you,” Zhishu
He turned his head and closed his eyes with exhaustion.

Wenxu Jiang paused for a second, and reached out a hand to grab Zhishu’s
chin. “You don’t want to make love with me?” he said angrily with a
suspicious look. Zhishu He felt pain and tried to push Jiang’s hand away,
but he failed.

He gave up struggling and said chillily, “Yes.”

It was like a bomb exploding in Wenxu Jiang’s heart, which completely

kindled his anger.

“I see,” he sneered and turned off the shower. Then he caught Zhishu He by
the wrist and pulled him out of the bathroom. “But I want to check your
body and make clear whether you have slept with another man or not.”

Zhishu He’s heart was broken when he heard these slanderous remarks.
Wenxu Jiang dragged him to the master bedroom. When Zhishu was pushed
down on the bed, he began to suffer from dizzy spells.

They both didn’t dry themselves, so the sheet soon got wet. The
temperature in the room was low because Wenxu Jiang didn’t turn on the
air-conditioner. Zhishu lay on the bed, feeling cold all over, his body
slightly shivering.

Wenxu Jiang was much taller than he was 14 years ago. He was 185
centimeters in height now, with kind of oppressive momentum. Zhishu He
used to feel secure and protected when he was with Jiang, but now he only
felt panic.
Zhishu He struggled hard to get free because he didn’t want to be treated as
a tool of venting lust by Jiang. It would bring humiliation on him. But at
this moment, Wenxu Jiang had lost his marbles. These two days he was
overwhelmed with the subconscious anxiety and fear of losing his spouse so
that he needed to screw Zhishu and make sure that he wouldn't leave him.
Otherwise, he would get insane.

Wenxu Jiang tied the necktie around Zhishu He’s wrist, pulled him closer to
his chest and plunged deep into him. Zhishu didn't feel good but had no
strength to escape. Wenxu Jiang was still young and strong enough to trap
Zhishu in his arms. Zhishu He gave up struggling and fell into despair since
it just felt like a... rape.

Wenxu Jiang planted lots of love bites on Zhishu He’s neck. He bit Zhishu’s
nipple and achieved his first orgasm. Soon his penis got erect again. He
turned Zhishu He around and entered his body from behind. Jiang clutched
Zhishu’s waist hard and said with a malicious smile on his face, “You are
smarter than before. Is that a flirtatious trick? I like it. Indeed, it is
much more fascinating compared with being starfishing. You have
aroused my lust.”

That night, Zhishu He suffered a lot. He even wished that he could die at
once. At last, Wenxu Jiang hurt him because he failed to well control his
strength. Zhishu began to bleed. It was hard for Zhishu He to stop bleeding
because he had the coagulopathy.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
11

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 11: “Fool, Do You Know You Will Lose Me Forever?” 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Fortunately, the tears in the intestinal wall were just small wounds, so it
didn’t take long for the blood to coagulate. But it took Zhishu He quiet a
while to regain his strength to take a shower and clean up the mess. When
he came out of the bathroom, Wenxu Jiang had been fast asleep.

By the faint yellow light from the bedside lamp, Zhishu He peered closely
at the man he had loved for so long, who had such a pure and handsome
appearance. Jiang had sharp and deep facial lines, high and straight nose
and stylish and thick eyebrows, all of which made him an attractive man.
Wenxu Jiang was destined to be a man who would get more attractive with
the increase of age. However, Zhishu He knew well that it was almost
impossible for him to see how handsome Wenxu Jiang was several years
later.

“...You should treat me better, for I’m leaving...” lying on the side of
Wenxu Jiang, Zhishu He wrapped his arms around Jiang’s waist. With a
slight choke in his voice, Zhishu He said, “Be nice to your new lover... I
am easygoing after all. Try to find someone who can bring good luck
for you... and can accompany you for a long time...” Zhishu He finally
burst out crying after a pause for a long time, “Fool, do you know you will
lose me forever?”

For the whole night, Wenxu Jiang slept tiredly, not as peaceful as usual. He,
in a daze, had a very real dream in the wee hours; in the dream, he was
waiting for a coach with young Zhishu. The coach came and Zhishu left
with a smile, waving goodbye to him. Wenxu Jiang felt afraid at that
moment, so he cried and begged Zhishu to stay, running after the coach, but
it was useless. Zhishu went farther and farther in the coach that never
returned...

Everyone might have such a dream. You dreamed your loved ones (family
members, spouse or friends) left you, and in the dream, you were so sad that
you would cry out of breath and even woke up crying. Though you became
awake, the depression, loneliness, heartache and remembrance from the
dream gathered together, so deep that it could barely disperse. At least, the
feeling wad true at the moment when you just woke up.

Wenxu Jiang woke up with cold sweat all over, stretching his hand around
to feel his partner. At the moment when he touched the warm body of
Zhishu He, he rested assured and held Zhishu He to his chest tightly.

It was over six thirty in the morning, Zhishu He was woken up by Wenxu
Jiang. After Long eyelashes fluttered twice, He opened his eyes, but felt so
uncomfortable. There was a throbbing pain in the unspeakable place in his
body.

“Zhishu...” Wenxu Jiang nuzzled the neck of Zhishu He like a big dog
seeking intimate contact from his dream, “It’s horrible. I dreamed you
left me.”

Zhishu He did not have a good rest and asked in a daze, “Where do I leave
for?”

“I’ve no idea, but I don’t allow you to go anywhere ”

“...” Zhishu He hadn’t got good sleep for a long time, so he was dizzy and
fell asleep again in the arms of Wenxu Jiang. Nobody knew whether he
heard what Wenxu Jiang said or not. Maybe he had heard it but couldn’t
answer at all.

Wenxu Jiang was exceptionally well-behaved today. He put the phone on

mute and did not care about his lovers outside. At about 7:00 a.m., before
Zhishu He got up, he had walked out of the bedroom cautiously without any
noise to prepare breakfast.

Zhishu He was surprised at what Wemxu Jiang did when he came out, then
he chuckled, “I wonder how long you haven’t cooked for me.”

Sometimes, Wenxu Jiang hurt Zhishu’s feelings first and then he would be
nice to Zhishu for apology. At least, Jiang still had a guilty conscience and
knew that he should do something to maintain this apparent prosperity of
their relationship, much as Zhishu He had done.

Wenxu Jiang replied in a while, “Last year, maybe. That day you had a
low fever all night, and didn’t feel like eating anything, so I made a pot
of millet gruel for you.”

In fact, Zhishu He had no interest in this topic, so he turned into the study,
took the medicine and then came out. Wenxu Jiang put a bowl of rice
porridge and two plates of pickles in front of Zhishu He, “Did I hurt you
last night?”

Zhishu He shook his head, as if nothing had happened. He did not want to
recall a little bit of what he experienced last night. He only had half of the
porridge. He actually wanted to eat more of what Wenxu Jiang made, while
he could still swallow. But it was difficult. After taking a handful of
medicine, he had already been half full. How could he eat anything more?

“No wonder... No wonder that you have lost weight. You eat so less as a
cat,” Wenxu Jiang frowned. “If you get thinner, it will be uncomfortable
to hug you.”

Zhishu He forced himself to eat more, and then smiled helplessly at Wenxu
Jiang, “I should eat less. How about making a hearty lunch for me?”
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
12

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 12: Brother Jiang, Be Nice to Me Henceforward... 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

It was cold and the snow outside didn't melt yet. Zhishu He looked out of
the French window and saw the snowflakes on the ground be picked up by
the wind and whirl in the air. He held a hot-water bag in his arms and lay
huddled up in the rattan chair. Then he exchanged short messages with Ziyu
Ai.

"You left your medicines in my car. Shall I deliver them to your house
after work?"
Zhishu He smiled and texted him, "No, you needn't. Tomorrow I will go
to the hospital and take them back."

It wasn't long before Ziyu Ai replied- "Yezterday I called you several

times, but you didn't answer. Is it convenient for you to answer the
phone now? Can I call you?"

A wry smile spread over Zhishu He's face and he thought for a while before
replying, "We will meet tomorrow. If you have something to talk to me,
leave it tomorrow."

After sending the message to Ziyu Ai, Zhishu He waited for a while but
didn't receive a new one. So he decided to watch the news, but soon he felt
tired and fell asleep in the chair.

Later, he was aroused from sleep by the feeling of being smothered. He

opened his eyes, still half asleep, and saw Jiang pinching his nose. Zhishu
He shook Jiang's hand off and showed a cute pouty expression on his face,
as a kind of childlike innocence shone in his sleepy eyes.

Zhishu with a pettishly charming manner melted Wenxu Jiang's heart. Jiang
touched Zhishu's soft hair and suddenly realized that he hadn't seen Zhishu
act like a spoiled child in front of him for three or four years. Zhishu was
his first love, and maybe Jiang would get tired of Zhishu but he never
wanted to split with Zhishu.

Zhishu He narrowed his eyes and smiled with a small dimple appearing in
his left cheek. He muttered in a mild sweet voice, "Brother Jiang..."
After staying in Beijing for so many years, Wenxu Jiang had completely
changed his local accent into the Beijing accent. But Zhishu He remained
the accent of their hometown, Hangzhou, which was world-famous for its
west lake and beautiful scenery. He was so stubborn that he wouldn't give
up things easily, whether it was his accent or his love for Jiang.

Wenxu Jiang was in a daze for a while. When he came back to earth, Zhishu
He fell asleep again. He sighed and covered Zhishu with a blanket. Then he
went back to the study and saw his cell phone vibrating. He picked it up and
was annoyed to see a lot of missed calls that all came from Zui Shen.
Wenxu Jiang cuckolded Zhishu He for several years. At first, he had an
affair with other people just for fun. In truth, he was a rich, unmarried,
handsome man, so many men and women were charmed by him and even
chased after him on their own initiative. As time went on, he gradually
wallowed in the freewheeling sex with his lovers outside. Zhishu He was a
good spouse but he was too shy to pander Jiang's liking in terms of sex.
Wenxu Jiang always felt unsatisfied, but he was loath to treat Zhishu as a
tool of venting his ravenous lust. So he always, in a violent way, vented his
uncontrollable lust on his lovers, who were willing to bear that.

The first few times he felt guilty after having an affair with his lover. When
he came home, he did everything he could to please Zhishu to get rid of the
guilt and conceal his panic. But as time passed, his guilt and panic
completely disappeared and he got into the habit of committing adultery
with others. In the beginning, he made excuses to put a good face on his
unfaithful acts. He even thought that Zhishu He would find his improper
relationship with others and quarrel with him, and by then he would make a
clean break with his lovers and be good. However, Zhishu He showed no
interest in his infidelities and turned a blind eye to his mistakes, which let
Wenxu Jiang down. So he went outside more often and gave Zhishu the
cold shoulder.

Now Wenxu Jiang felt guilty again. His intuition told him that something
was wrong. He sensed the strong determination in Zhishu He's attitude,
which bothered him. But Zhishu showed no intention of leaving. All that
made Jiang confused. Zhishu He didn't like strangers entering his house, so
he always did housework by himself. This morning he felt too sick to wash
the sheet and clothes so that the sheet was still left in the laundry basket.
Wenxu Jiang got into a panic when he saw the bloodstains on it.

Wenxu Jiang knew that Zhishu was afraid of pain not because he wasn't
mentally tough enough but because of his special constitution. He was
highly sensitive to the pain and even a small wound would leave a scar on
his body. Wenxu Jiang remembered clearly the first time he made love with
Zhishu He. The boy with bright black eyes lay under Jiang, slightly
trembling with pain. He looked afraid but didn't refuse or resist. He just
whimpered and groaned in a sweet voice, "Brother Jiang, be nice to me
henceforward..."

Wenxu Jiang got a sharp pain in his heart when he recalled his promise to
Zhishu.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
13

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 13: The Most Valuable Thing in the World 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He slept for more than twenty minutes before waking up. Today he
felt better though last night he had violent sex with Wenxu Jiang.

In the kitchen, Wenxu Jiang was making the lunch. Zhishu He stood at the
kitchen door, looking at Jiang quietly. He hadn't enjoyed such a quiet and
harmonious day for so long. Wenxu Jiang had a nice figure with broad
shoulders, slender hips and long legs. He had his sleeves rolled up and his
eyes fixed on the pan, looking handsome and charming. He slightly
frowned and concentrated on cooking. In Zhishu's eyes, Jiang boasted kind
of manly glamour.

Wenxu Jiang was surprised to see Zhishu He when he turned around. He

smiled gently, and all his impatience and rudeness had disappeared. "You
finally wake up? Perfect timing. Lunch is ready. We can have it
together."

Zhishu He nodded and walked forward to sort out the bowls and chopsticks.
When he came up to Jiang, he stopped and opened his mouth while Jiang
put a piece of carrot into his mouth with the chopsticks. They always had a
tacit understanding. Zhishu He tasted it and commented, "It's insipid but I
think it's okay. Don't add salt anymore. Too salty food is bad for
health." As soon as he finished his words, he felt them ridiculous as he had
lost his health though Jiang knew nothing about it.

During lunch, Zhishu He was in a good mood. He tasted every dish on the
table and praised Jiang for his cooking. Zhishu's eyes shone with happiness.
But gradually, the delight on his face dimmed and a sense of grievance
flooded over him. He forced a smile with the dimple appearing on his
haggard cheek and complained, "Wenxu Jiang, why did you leave me
alone for so long time?"

Zhishu He stared at Jiang with a childish expression on his face. Wenxu

Jiang thought that it was just the babyish complaint and petulance.
Realizing that he did ignore Zhishu these days, he reached over to put some
vegetables into Zhishu's bowl with his chopsticks and said in a propitiatory
voice, "Eat more, or you will soon be a bag of bones. After finishing
this project, I will spend more time accompanying you."

Zhishu He didn't eat the food in hos bowl; instead, he cast a glance at
Wenxu Jiang's slender fingers and asked suddenly, "Where's your ring?"

Stunned, Wenxu Jiang bowed his head with guilt and unconsciously
repeated Zhishu's question, "Eh... Where's my ring?"

Wenxu Jiang would never forget how he got that ring. It was his most
special birthday gift that he had ever received in his life. Nine years ago, for
a long time Zhishu He worked hard to earn money in order to buy a gift for
him. But at last, he didn't save enough money to buy a decent gift. He could
only buy a pair of simple silver rings, on which there was no pattern or
gem, dull-polished and low-cost. Then Zhishu He carried them with him
every day and as long as he had free time, he would use the graver to carve
their names on the rings. He got two blistered hands after finishing this
difficult work. When Wenxu Jiang received this gift, he was greatly touched
by what Zhishu had done for him, and his love for Zhishu deepened. At that
time, the gift was the most valuable thing in the world in Jiang's eyes.

When did he lose the ring? Wenxu Jiang's mind flew back to the first time
that he had sex with Zui Shen. That night he was drunk and mistook Zui
Shen as Zhishu He. That boy, who had soft black hair and pure eyes, looked
like the young Zhishu He and would call him "Brother Jiang" in a sweet
voice. Zui Shen wanted to be with Jiang, so he catered to Jiang's lust
without hesitation. When Wenxu Jiang woke up, he found his ring missing
and asked Zui Shen about it. But Zui Shen said that he didn't see it. Jiang
thought he might inadvertently lose the ring when he was drunk.

Wenxu Jiang had worn the ring for seven years. After losing the ring, he
was upset for a long time. But as the time went on, he gradually forgot it as
Zhishu He didn't noticed that the ring was missing. Wenxu Jiang once
thought about buying a pair of custom-made diamond rings for Zhishu and
himself, but he was too busy to do that. He spent most of his time dealing
with the company's affairs or staying with clingy Zui Shen.

At this moment, Wenxu Jiang didn't know how to answer Zhishu He's
sudden question. Fortunately, Zhishu didn't intend to get to the bottom of
the matter. He dropped his eyelids and took a mouthful of soup which had
cooled off before he said with a casual air, "Never mind. It's valueless. If
it's lost, it's lost..."

"Maybe soon you will lose me too," Zhishu He muttered with grief in his
heart. He had a strong tolerance so that he could swallow the bitter pills and
tolerate Jiang's betrayal without saying a word. He even could control his
own emotions and show no sadness on his face. Or he just got used to
enduring without protest.
Wenxu Jiang feel a lump in his throat. He forced a smiling face and said,
"It must be somewhere in our house. I will find it. Or we can buy a new
pair. Even if we miss the fifteenth anniversary, we can buy it as an
advance gift of our twentieth anniversary."

Zhishu He smiled, then put down the chopsticks and changed the topic, "I
am full and I want to boil some water to drink. If you need my help,
just call me."

Wenxu Jiang frowned at Zhishu He's receding figure. For him, all his lovers
outside were tools of venting his desire. He played with them for passion
and amusement and deluded himself that he was tired of Zhishu He. But
now he found that he was wrong. Why did Zhishu become so strange and
distant? The sense of emptiness and fear overwhelmed Jiang and he
suddenly felt a little weary.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
14

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 14: “Are You Gay?” 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

After all, Wenxu Jiang was still young. He made a mistake that some men
might unavoidably make when they were successful in career. They always
had the wishful thinking of having a virtuous spouse at home and sultry
lovers outside at the same time. However, Wenxu Jiang forgot that the
person living with him was also a man with lofty and unyielding character,
no matter how mild he was when they were together. Zhishu He had always
indulged Wenxu Jiang for love and was willing to give Jiang everything he
had, but Zhishu He was pertinacious in some aspects, for which Jiang could
not understand even though they had been together for over a decade.
Zhishu He suppressed the nausea after dinner, sitting in the balcony
shrouded in the bright sunshine and daydreaming. He looked at the silver
ring blackened due to oxidation on his finger, and his eyes were moist.

Was it time for the love in the past fourteen years to be gone? Or it was easy
for people to share woes, but difficult to share weal?

Zhishu He had never been aware of his regret like so. What he regretted
was not his desperate love of Jiang for over a decade, but that he shouldn’t
have given up his pursuit of dream and career, whatever the reason was. He
shouldn’t have lowered his baseline again and again, or given up his wish to
go out to explore the world as man.

Staying at home for one day, Wenxu Jiang left again. It was said that a
supervisor called him for there was something wrong with a huge order. He
left with a promise that he would come back immediately when the problem
was solved.

Zhishu He put a heavy navy cashmere scarf around Wenxu Jiang’s neck,
and waved good-bye to him with a smile, “Don’t be silly. I know you
aren't afraid of cold weather, but your body can’t withstand cold
wind.”

Wenxu Jiang kissed Zhishu He on the face, and then he went out with the
key to the car. Although he did not mention Ziyu Ai, his mind was in a
whirl.

In the balcony, Zhishu He watched Wenxu Jiang leave, sighed slightly and
called Ziyu Ai, who answered immediately as if waiting for his call.
“Doctor Ai, are you free now?”

“Come if you will. I’m on duty today. There will be an operation this
afternoon, so you’d better come early.”

“Well, thank you,” Zhishu He ran his fingers through his long bangs
falling across his forehead, thinking that he could only have his hair
trimmed after being back.
Ziyu Ai paused for a while before he added some words which had nothing
to do with the treatment, “It’s colder today. Don’t forget to put on more
clothes.” Zhishu He was stunned. He hung up the phone without saying
more than the word of thanks, so as not to affect Ziyu Ai’s normal working,
and went to change his clothes.

It was really cold outside. Cold air irritated his nose, straight pouring into
the respiratory tract. Zhishu He had a habit of not feeling like wearing a
mask whenever it was. He did not know why.

Ziyu Ai had several other patients, so Zhishu He sat quitely there and
waited. He sat and watched, in a trance. When he saw a couple in the office
with a child diagnosed with leukemia crying in despair, he felt some
distressed and pity for the child.

If his parents had not passed away, they must feel sad for him, too... Even
though he was such an unfilial child.

Time ticked away...

“What are you thinking about? Ziyu Ai called him, in a teasing tone,
“Can you take off your down jacket? Is it rented?”

Zhishu He did not feel hot, but it was inconvenient to move with heavy
clothes. So he smiled, took off his down jacket and sat on the chair across
from Ziyu Ai’s desk.

Ziyu Ai was to make fun of Zhishu He, telling him not to be nervous when
they talked about treatment later. But when he inadvertently glanced at the
slender neck of Zhishu He, he could not help but gasp deeply-if he was
right, it was a hickey.

Zhishu He, who was fixing his eyes on the cover of the latest magazine at
the corner of the table, did not notice the change of Ziyu Ai’s expression,
thinking that he had not subscribed to a magazine for a long time.

Ziyu Ai suddenly realized that he was just a doctor who should not care
about Zhishu He’s private life, so his face grew solemn, and stared at
Zhishu He, “You should undergo chemotherapy tomorrow...

Ziyu Ai was a distinguished young doctor in leukemia area. When talking

about treatment and illness of patients, he did not carry any personal
emotion. Zhishu He felt upset when he learnt more about his illness. Doctor
Ai’s words sent a chill down his spine.

“You are still young. I will do my best to help you. You can’t give up on
yourself.” When Ziyu Ai finished his words, he added such a sentence to
comfort Zhishu He.

Before Zhishu He said something, his phone rang. It was Wenxu Jiang. He
answered the phone immediately, so as not to make Wenxu Jiang wait for a
long time, which had become a kind of habit. “I’m not coming back in the
evening. Eat something good, even I’m not at your side.”

The volume of the microphone was high, and the sound waves spread in the
quiet room. Zhishu He smiled at Ziyu Ai in embarrassment. He turned the
volume down and headed for the door.

Ziyu Ai looked at the two pots of orchids, twirling the Parker pen with his
fingers, and no one knew what he was thinking about.

A few minutes later, Zhishu He came back. He smiled with apology, “I

have muted my phone this time... I’m sorry.”

“Are you gay?” After saying that, Ziyu Ai felt his IQ at this point must be
zero. As an adult, he certainly knew it was rude to ask such a question.

Zhishu He was stunned, and wore a twisted smile, “That’s my...” He

wanted to say “roommate”, but was interrupted before he finished his
words.

“There’s more than one hickey on your neck.”

Zhishu He pulled his collar in conditioned reflex. Then he realized how

embarrassing the behavior was. The more he tried to hide, the more
conspicuous the fact was. After a while, he sighed, and jested moderately to
give both sides an out, “Doesn’t the hospitals treat gays?”

Ziyu Ai shook his head, and inexplicably, he was sad and disappointed, “I
don’t care about sexual orientation. But I don't know what’s going on
between you two. First, do you think your body can withstand violent
sex?” Ziyu Ai was not a fool. It was evident that the hickeys were caused
by violent suck just to show the possessiveness of the other party.

“Second and the most important, what is your relationship? From the
examination to the treatment confirmation, it’s always been you
yourself...”

“Doctor,” Zhishu He interrupted him, with coldness, “I didn't tell him.

I’m afraid he will be sad. Okay?”

Zhishu He did not like people commenting on Wenxu Jiang and him, but he
was not bold enough to defend Wenxu Jiang. He could only interrupt the
topic so tactlessly.

Ziyu Ai was still busy this afternoon. He made an appointment with Zhishu
He, letting him come back tomorrow.

Zhishu He coughed twice, and it hurt deep in the bones. He thought of the
saying that once a person told a lie, even the most silly and disgusting
excuse could be made up flawlessly. If Wenxu Jiang could love him as
much as before, he would never have endured it alone. He would cry if it
hurt and tell the man to boil water and to prepare medicine for him. Even
his last words would be said in a petulant way– “You cannot have any new
date after I pass away.”

But he would not do these things. In addition to putting up with it and

trying not to be annoying, he failed to find other way.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
15

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 15: Four Kittens 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He casually chose a barbershop and walked into it. The barbershop
was small but warm, with few customers in it. Before long he took his turn.

“Just crop my hair,” Zhishu He said gently, gazing at his image in the
mirror. Maybe it was the last time for him to have his hair trimmed because
the chemotherapy that he was going to take would cause extensive hair loss.

The barber was a man of few words, and very efficient as he finished the
work within a quarter of an hour. He put down the scissor and praised,
“Your hair is thick, glossy and in tip-top condition.”
Zhishu He smiled at him politely and paid the bill before he left the
barbershop. He couldn’t help but recall the similar words that Wenxu Jiang
had said to him in their schooldays - “Zhishu, you have soft ebony hair.”
At that time, Jiang liked to rub Zhishu’s hair with his big hands as if he was
stroking a docile puppy.
Zhishu He hummed a song that he heard several years ago and walked at a
brisk pace toward the subway station with a slight smile on his face, trying
to find back some vitality and happiness. He used to like one of Zhihua
Zeng’s song “Sailor” very much. He sang the song as his eyes slowly
reddened and his voice dropped, “Sailor’s struggling in the storm,
believing the rainbow will come...” Suddenly, Zhishu He broke into a soft
laughter and felt himself foolish.

At the entrance of the subway station, Zhishu He caught sight of a shoebox

in the corner. He moved closer and heard the rustling of small animals
scratching the box with their paws.

Zhishu He carefully lifted the lid of the shoebox and his heart skipped a
beat when he saw four-black-and-white kittens in it. They were probably
abandoned by their owner.

Zhishu He preferred hairy animals above all others, but he never kept a pet
before because Wenxu Jiang was a clean freak and disliked animals. Zhishu
was very hesitant to take the kittens home. The weather was so cold that
they would certainly die outside if no one saved them. Soon Zhishu made
up his mind to bring them home as this time he wanted to satisfy himself
instead of Wenxu Jiang.

At last, Zhishu He returned home with four kittens. He bought a can of

powdered ewe milk and some biscuits in the supermarket downstairs.
Fortunately, the kittens were all in good health and after staying in the
warm room for a while, they recovered their energies and mewed to Zhishu.
They also pushed one another back and forth with their soft, velvet paws.

Zhishu He got four ropes of different colors from the drawer and tied the
ropes around the kittens’ necks to mark them. Then he reconstituted the
powdered milk and put the biscuits in it. He fed the kittens and felt amazed
when he touched their soft paws. They rubbed Zhishu’s palms with their
fluffy little heads and wanted to eat more. Zhishu was completely struck by
their loveliness since he had never touched a small animal before.

In the evening, when Wenxu Jiang came back, he saw Zhishu He sleeping
on the sofa, with four hairy kittens on his chest. They all slept well and
Jiang even heard the kittens purring slightly.

“Zhishu He!” Wenxu Jiang frowned and stood still at the door.

His voice woke Zhishu He from his light sleep. He opened his eyes with a
slightly addled expression on his face and asked, “What's up?”

“Why did you take them home? Throw them out of our house right
now!” Wenxu Jiang commanded in an exasperated voice and threw his
briefcase on the floor beside the shoe cabinet. He had a strong personality
and couldn’t tolerate any rebellion of his spouse.

Zhishu He dropped his eyelids, his face covered with loneliness, as he said
in a soft tone, “I want to keep them.”

Wenxu Jiang’s anger evaporated when he heard Zhishu’s beseeching words.

Jiang would yield to the soft words but reject the strong protests. So when
Zhishu begged him, he had to suppress his dislike of the kittens and tried to
persuade his spouse, “Zhishu, the kittens are dirty and they will trouble
us as soon as they grow up a little. So, just send them away, okay? We
don’t need pets.”

“But I really want to keep them...” Zhishu He bit his lips and insisted.

“You...”

“Wenxu Jiang, you know me well, right? I’ve always wanted to keep a
pet since I was a child. But at that time, my parents didn’t allow me to
do that. I was upset for a long time, and made a silent vow to keep a
dog or cat when I grew up and got my own house.”

Wenxu Jiang hesitated for a moment but didn’t changed his mind. “Honey,
we have lived a good, peaceful life for several years without keeping a
pet. If you really want a pet, I will buy one of noble birth for you in the
future. But not now, okay?”

Zhishu He stared at Wenxu Jiang. His eyes slowly reddened as he said in a

pleading voice, “I like them. Brother Jiang, please, don't send them
away.”

Wenxu Jiang’s resolve fell apart. He shut his mouth, changed his shoes and
went straight to the study. His actions showed his attitude. Zhishu He was
aware that Jiang acquiesced in his decision of keeping the kittens in their
house.

In truth, Wenxu Jiang knew clearly that Zhishu He was of a rational turn of
mind and seldom asked for something. He always put up with all Jiang’s
decisions regardless of whether he liked or not. Gradually, Wenxu Jiang
took his tolerance for granted and paid little attention to Zhishu's real
thoughts.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
16

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 16: Brief Intimacy 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He made a simple nest for the kittens and put it in the unoccupied
guest room. He was forced by Wenxu Jiang to wash his body carefully
before going to bed.

Wenxu Jiang flung Zhishu He to the soft bed and wrapped his arms around
Zhishu. Then he buried his face in Zhishu’s chest, sniffling like a police
dog.

“Do you smell anything unusual?” Zhishu He asked, feeling Jiang’s hot
breath on his neck, which tickled him.
Wenxu Jiang bit Zhishu’s collarbone lightly and answered, “Yes, you smell
like a kitten.”

Zhishu He burst into laughter, as he cradled Jiang’s face and kissed him on
the forehead. “Okay. Now you can go to the guest room and sleep with
the kittens.”

“No, I want you,” Wenxu Jiang bowed his head and planted several kisses
on Zhishu’s face. Then he moved backward slowly, sucking Zhishu's skin
passionately, from the delicate neck to the soft lower abdomen.

Zhishu He uttered some slight groans and felt his body burning with desire.
His voice was soft and sexy, and his shy and restrained groans were
seductive enough to break Jiang’s sense and reason down.

“Don’t leave any love bites on me...” Zhishu He murmured. Tomorrow he

would go to the hospital. If Jiang left some marks on his neck, the doctors
and nurses would see them when he took off his coat and it would make
him embarrassed.

Wenxu Jiang slowly came into Zhishu face-to-face, and they combined
closely as a whole. When Jiang began to move, he heard a sharp intake of
breath coming from below, “Eh... Slow... Slow down.” He lowered his
head and met Zhishu’s watery loving eyes. “I’m slowly enough,” Wenxu
Jiang replied, stroking Zhishu's soft hair gently, and kept stirring. “Have
you cut your hair.”

Zhishu He felt a strong wave of the lust flowing through him, so he bit his
lips to suppress it and answered brokenly, “Yes... I have... my hair cut...”

He twined his arms around Jiang’s neck to steady his shaking body and
kissed Jiang’s jaw and Adam’s apple in a devout gesture, hoping that he
would treat him in a tender way. “Jiang, please...”

Wenxu Jiang was dazed for a while. In the past, Zhishu He seldom
displayed such great initiative as he did today in the bed. At this moment,
his rare passion and charming gesture struck a deep chord in Jiang’s heart.
Wenxu Jiang let his desire run rampant and began to conquer Zhishu with
all his strength. Jiang folded Zhishu’s legs and pinned him on the bed, their
body flapping violently against each other like a pair of wings, which made
Zhishu cry, “Jiang... Brother Jiang... Slow down, please... I beg you...”

At last, Wenxu Jiang achieved the orgasmic satisfaction that he hadn’t

gotten for so long. But Zhishu He was too tired to stay sober. He laid his
head on Jiang’s chest and fell asleep immediately. Wenxu Jiang stretched
out his arms to hold Zhishu tightly and caressed his naked back. A few
moments later, Jiang muttered with confusion and heartache, “You’ve lost a
lot of weight. Didn’t you take good care of yourself?”

The next day when Zhishu He woke up, Wenxu Jiang had already left. He
sat on the cold bed and kneaded his aching and limp waist for a while
before he got up. Today he needed to go to the hospital and take the
chemotherapy.

When he walked out of the bedroom, he was surprised to find that Wenxu
Jiang had fed the kittens and cooked the breakfast for him. Jiang even left a
note to remind him to microwave the food before eating.

Zhishu He shook his head and chucked the note in the bin. He crouched
down to stroke the four furry kittens and played with them for a few
moments. Then he took his medicines and changed his clothes, intending to
go to the hospital.

This time Zhishu He looked carefully at himself in the mirror and made
sure that there was no obvious mark on his neck and shoulders before going
out of the door. He was thankful for Wenxu Jiang’s kindness through his
skin under the clothes was full of love bites.

Zhishu He maintained calm on the way to the hospital. However, when he

got off the bus and walked toward the hospital, he became nervous. Ziyu Ai
had told him that he must be hospitalized during chemotherapy, but he had
refused without hesitation at that time. He even refused to know the terrible
sequelae and side-effects caused by the chemotherapy because he was
afraid that he would sink into the fear and give up his life straight.
Zhishu He never expected to suffer so much during the chemotherapy. He
felt himself in the hell as he got a strong feeling of headache and nausea, his
every fibre being aching as if there were numerous insects crawling in his
blood vessels, gnawing at his flesh and bringing the excruciating pain to
him. Zhishu He was very afraid of pain but this time he had to endure the
unceasing pain quietly. He bit his lips so hard that blood exuded, and his
body was already wet due to the cold sweat.

Ziyu Ai asked a doctor to cover for him before he came to accompany

Zhishu He. His heart ached for Zhishu He when Ai saw him trembling in
pain. He held the poor man in his arms and wiped Zhishu’s sweaty face
tenderness.

“Doctor Ai...” Zhishu He was in a state of half unconsciousness. He had a

beautiful face, but now it was ghostly pale with the sharp pain, and even his
lips were bloodless. “You... You didn’t tell me that I would suffer such a
great pain...”

Ziyu Ai patted him on the back gently and soothed him, “It’s okay... It’s
alright... You will be fine as long as you conquer it. Don’t be afraid. I’m
here with you...”

Zhishu He struggled to curve his lips into a faint smile, revealing the dimple
on his left cheek, and whispered with a deep sorrowful expression in his
eyes, “I am in so much pain... I feel that it has lasted for centuries...
What should I do with the pain? I can’t tolerate it anymore...”
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
17

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 17: Bitter Struggle for Survival 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He was too painful to walk after the chemotherapy. This time
Zhishu He didn't refuse Ziyu Ai when Ai held his hand to help him to lie on
the bed in Ai's office for a rest. They both kept silent, but Ziyu Ai strongly
felt that an unspeakable feeling in the heart became stronger than ever. Ziyu
Ai was sure that he had lost his heart to Zhishu He.

Zhishu He's face was as pale as the white sheet on bed. His eyes were dull
and inanimate. Ziyu Ai gave him a cup of hot water, and said, "Drink some
water?"
Zhishu He didn't answer, and only murmured after quite a while, "I am
cold..."

No blanket was available here, as Ziyu Ai barely slept in the office. Ziyu Ai
couldn't find anything but He's light tan down jacket, which was so heavy.
So he covered Zhishu He with it.

Zhishu He tightly hugged the down jacket. His pinched face surrounded
with the fox fur on the brim of the jacket hat boasted kind of morbid
fascination. Zhishu He seemed extremely fragile at the moment.

"You don't look well. Considering your physical condition, I suggest

you stay in hospital," sitting beside Zhishu He, Ziyu Ai thought for a
while before speaking again. "You can't keep it from your family or your
boyfriend. It is too hard to handle this on your own."

Zhishu He slowly regained his consciousness. His eyes were gentle as

before, and his mood was always restrained. Zhishu He softly shook his
head, and said, "I don't want to stay in hospital. I will live as long as
God allows me to live."

The one with ultimate love for his or her partner would struggle for survival
and live for her or him. Happy life had become a distant dream for Zhishu
He, so he just let nature take its course. If Zhishu He was lucky enough to
die early, then his love for Wenxu Jiang would end at the same day.

Ziyu Ai could perceive that Zhishu He's life was not as simple as he
previously imagined. Ai couldn't figure it out, but he didn't ask anything.
Zhishu He knew very well that he had caused a lot of trouble for Doctor Ai.
When he felt better, he thanked Ziyu Ai with politeness and was
immediately ready to leave.

"I'll call you for the next appointment of chemotherapy," Ziyu Ai was
unable to make him stay, so he only came out with such a poor excuse to
call him again.

It took a few seconds for Zhishu He to realize what Ziyu Ai meant.

However, Zhishu He only replied with a nod.
Zhishu He could see that Ziyu Ai was hesitating to say something, as his
facial expression betrayed him. After a while, as Zhishu He was curiously
waiting, Ziyu Ai suddenly said, "Your body can't handle sex now. You
need to stop..."

Surprisingly, Zhishu He didn't feel too embarrassed. On the contrary, He

was slightly moved by Ziyu Ai's kindness, so he nodded obediently.

Looking at his back as Zhishu He was walking away, Ziyu Ai

unconsciously felt that his heart was also taken away.

Zhishu He spent the rest of the day in bed when he got home. He didn't eat
anything; instead he vomited five times, and the blackish green bile was
almost thrown up.

Meanwhile, the four kittens were meowing around him. They cuddled up
against his neck. Zhishu He was warmed and touched by their soft fur.

Zhishu He thought that Wenxu Jiang wouldn't come home. Jiang did come
home, though it was late. It seemed that Jiang began to turn more attention
to Zhishu He again, instead of showing no concern at all.

Jiang seemed to have recovered interest in sex with Zhishu He. Jiang drank
a little alcohol tonight in the business dinner, and he affectionately kept
calling Zhishu He "baby", as if he didn't mind the smell of cats on Zhishu
He's body.

Wenxu Jiang was at the age with strong sexual desire. When Zhishu He was
perfectly healthy in the past, He was barely able to satisfy Wenxu Jiang, not
to mention now. They already had sex last night, but tonight Wenxu Jiang
was eager to fuck him again.

Zhishu He got used to pampering Wenxu Jiang. What Ziyu Ai said in the
morning was in one ear and out the other. Zhishu He forced himself to be
soft enough in Jiang's arms, and pretended to be ready for the violent and
animal-like thrusts of Jiang, regardless of the feeble body and discomfort.
During the whole process, Zhishu He consistently bit his lips to hold back
his moans out of pain, but he didn't make any complain. Instead of begging
for stop, he tightly hugged Jiang's neck while groaning in a low voice,
repeatedly, "Bro Jiang, give me that... oh... faster... faster..."

Feeling aroused, Jiang began another round of barbaric thrusts, but with no
kiss at all. Out of sudden, the storm finally came to a halt while Jiang jetted
sperms all inside He's skinny body. As Jiang was satisfied, Jiang murmured
a name to He's ear, "...Little Shen..."

Zhishu He's heart instantly broken into pieces.

He was not the one Jiang cared about.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
18

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 18: Jiang’s Lover. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He pushed the man on his body aside, staring at the endless
darkness with his eyes wide open. He relaxed himself and got his breath
back, waiting for the choking heartache to wear off.

They had made a promise to each other that they would be together forever
at the beginning. They met each other at their best ages and had thought
they found own Mr. Right. Zhishu He showed a depressed smile. He well
remembered plenty of trifles, which were pieced together and formed
happiness.
Wenxu Jiang was cool and proud in front of the outsiders in his high school
days. But in fact, he was incredibly naive. At that time, he would sit like a
cat in the bushes and greet Zhishu He, “Little Shu, Little Shu, look!
Lizard!”; he would bring kinds of delicious food and snacks to Zhishu He
every day. For Zhishu He, he fought with boys and scared the little girls
who were keen on Zhishu He for many times. Later on, Wenxu Jiang came
out to make a living, and he met obstacles and setbacks many times. He
drank with the moneybags from the Northeast China for business, no matter
whether he could stand it or not. As soon as he was drunk, he hugged
Zhishu He, crying for he did not give He a good life.

Was I enough for your whole life? Did you still remember that we once
made a deal about that? Zhishu He could not help bursting into tears, with
the back of his hands covering his eyes like a kid. Zhishu He really missed
the gorgeous pear blossom in the Second Senior Middle School. The white
flowers were finely divided in trees like stars distributed in the sky. During
the blossom, he would go to pick up flowers from the ground and fill up his
small pocket after school every day. Then he would take a handful of them
and blow some to Wenxu Jiang on the face and body. He still remembered
that the most romantic and daring thing they had ever done was that during
a holiday when the campus was empty, Wenxu Jiang held Zhishu He
leaning against the pear tree and gave him a long lingering kiss filled with
teen love...

But what did that mean? The once fervent and simple love had been
wearing off over the long time and had been beaten back to the original by
the desire for a life of debauchery. There was nothing left to comfort him.

“I still had a little strength to love you as much as I could. Later you
would be on your own, and don’t be too capricious, or your new date
would not stay long at your side,” Zhishu He murmured. Then he
managed to get up and gently tucked Jiang in, with his small dimple, which
should have been as sweet and soft as honey, wet and bitter, filled with tears
right now. Zhishu He turned around, biting his finger to hold back his sobs.

Dawn came late in winter. Zhishu He watched the sky gradually light up,
the cold light filtering through the thin gauze curtain, which made him fell
chill and desolate. It was a cold winter this year. If he could make a
snowman with Wenxu Jiang again, the snowman would stay longer. Then
his trace would be with Wenxu Jiang a little longer in this winter.

Zhishu He struggled up and shambled to have a shower. He was thin and

weak now. With dense erotic traces all over, his body seemed dirty and
pathetic.

Zhishu He knew well that he was good-for-nothing. He had no energy to

quarrel with Wenxu Jiang for anything. Since it had become a habit to love
this man, he could still endure anything. Zhishu He bent over against the
cold white marble bath and drew out with fingers what Wenxu Jiang left in
his body, knitting his eyebrows tighter and tighter. He must stop having sex.
Zhishu He took some medicine and then made millet porridge for Wenxu
Jiang, who drank too much last night. The millet porridge was good for
stomach. When the porridge was ready in the pot, Zhishu He sat on a small
sofa, concentrating on reading a book.

Wenxu Jiang woke up late with disheveled hair after the whole night’s
sleep, acting in a spoiled way beside Zhishu He. He looked stronger than
Zhishu He. Jiang stretched out his arm and held Zhishu He entirely in his
arms.

“I will be on a business trip tomorrow and won’t be back until half a

month.”

Zhishu He stopped turning the page, “Got it.” It would be easier to go to

the hospital if he wasn’t at home.

“Will you go by yourself?” Zhishu He struggled out of Wenxu Jiang’s

arms and went to the kitchen to fetch the porridge.

Wenxu Jiang was in a daze, “With a few managers and my assistant.”

Zhishu He replied with a simple “ok”, as if he did not care much about it.
He ladled out the porridge to a bowl for Wenxu Jiang, and said, “Don’t
bully Assistant Song too much. He was too busy to spare time for a
business trip.”
Wenxu Jiang was having porridge with a spoon, and replied him without
thinking much, “It’s not Song, but the new assistant, who graduated
from the Academy of Fine Arts. I’ll take him to meet with the new
French designer.”

Zhishu He smiled, “Do I know him?”

“How can you know the new face in the company? Let alone the one
who just graduated like Zui Shen...” Realizing the slip of his tongue,
Wenxu Jiang suddenly shut up and focused on eating porridge.

Zhishu He froze on hearing that. As a new face, the boy should be able to
get such a high position immediately after graduation, so he must be well-
versed in pleasing Jiang.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
19

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 19: An Understanding Wife and Loving Mother. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He sighed, and said to himself in a teasing tone that it was useless
for him to worry about so much. Then he turned around to wash his hands
and packed the suitcase for Wenxu Jinag.

The four kittens were vivacious. Their legs were too short to walk well, so
they shambled in groups to Zhishu He to play with him. Out of curiosity,
the four white kittens with black patterns on the body squatted in the
suitcase, and they had fun.
“Well, well, it’s time to come out,” Zhishu He touched their foreheads one
by one with the tips of his fingers, “I’ll get a tongue-lashing later, if he
catches sight of you...”

Wenxu Jiang was at the door, but he did not dare to speak for a moment.
Sometimes he was frightened by the gentleness of Zhishu He. He
remembered that Zui Shen raised a very silly husky dog at the beginning of
their relations. He could bear it, although he was bored with the dog. After
all, he did not live in Zui Shen’s house. But once he saw dog hair on Zui
Shen’s body, he could not stand any more. Tears welled up in Shen’s eyes
all those days when he was compelled to send that dog away, but there was
not half a ripple in Wenxu Jiang’s heart. Watching Zhishu He playing with
the four kittens, Jiang felt that the scene was so sweet and harmonious that
everything seemed peaceful. At that moment, he even did not care the kitten
hair striking to his shirt or suit any more.

A lover could be jilted anytime if he or she was not obedient. However,

Wenxu Jiang would nevet treat Zhishu He in this way. Even though Jiang
was tired of the insipid life, the man who accompanied him all the way was
the one that nobody could replace. Wenxu Jiang would understand it sooner
or later, although he didn’t right now. People always had confidence in what
they possessed. They deemed it to be their own subconciously, so they
couldn’t be bothered to do much for it. However, people’s heart was the
most variable, especially when Zhishu He could not control it, either...
Wenxu Jiang did not love wearing a scarf. Zhishu He was afraid that Jiang
was cold, so he insisted on wrapping a scarf around Jiang’s neck. Wenxu
Jiang looked down at Zhishu He who was carefully knotting the tie, and
said with a smile, “You are really an understanding wife and loving
mother.”

Zhishu He rolls his eyes, patted the scarf well-knotted, and said, “Hurry to
work.”

Wenxu Jiang stretched out his hand to touch the thin cheeks of Zhishu He,
and said, “Eat more when you’re at home alone. You see how thin you
are now. I will accompany you to have a physical examantion when I
am free.”
Things in the world kept changing and could not wait; “when I’m free” was
the worst promise, because there was usually no answer in the waiting.

Zhishu He lowered his long eyelashes, answered in obedience, and then

watched Wenxu Jiang leave. Gazing at the man’s receding figure, which
was still tall and straight, Zhishu He felt some feeling welling up. When
you loved a person, you even felt that he walked in a different way, so
elegantly and unconventionally, even though the person... never looked
back.

Zhishu He closed the door, sat back at the table, and had half a bowl of
millet porridge which had already been cold.

Wenxu Jiang seldom called Zhishu He during his business trip. Maybe he
was really busy, or it was just inconvenient to call He. Zhishu He never
inspected whether he was really busy. He felt that only narrow-minded
persons would do these things, which was disturbing and degrading for him.
It was also impossible to defend effectively if a person wanted to cheat.

After the chemotherapy, Zhishu He had no serious follow-up reaction this

time. His hair did not fall off as much as he had expected. However, Zhishu
He dared not lower his guard. Because he knew that since he had decided to
accept the treatment, chemotherapy was just the beginning, and he would
always think of the worst result. In fact, he did not care much about the
result.

Ziyu Ai paid much more attention to Zhishu He than ever. He called Zhishu
more frequently than what Wenxu Jiang did. Zhishu He found it funny
sometimes to answer the phone call, playing with the kittens, “Will it get
your wages deducted to chat on the phone at work, doctor?”

Ziyu Ai also joked, “I’m caring about my patient’s mental health. Is

there anything wrong?”

Zhishu He slowly found that Ziyu Ai pretended the usual stern face, and he
turned out to be an especially interesting person when he got familiar with
you. Ai was an outspoken man speaking his mind. Just like a big wolf dog,
he seemed mighty and domineering when you looked at him from afar, but
he would be nice and behave in a spoiled if he was familiar with you.
Zhishu He was scratching a kitten’s neck, thinking that it was really
impolite for him to associate Ziyu Ai with a big dog.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
20

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 20: Gentleness of Doctor Ai. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

It was a rare windless sunny day. In the hospital, the fox fur on the brim of
Zhishu He’s hat looked vivid and warm in the sunlight. Ziyu Ai couldn’t
help stretching out his hand to touch it, staring at Zhishu He with his bright
dark brown eyes.

“What’s the matter, doctor?” Zhishu He turned to him, and the baggy
collar exposed his fair neck.
“Look,” Ziyu Ai said with a sudden smile. He wrapped that ring of fox fur
around the cheeks of Zhishu He, “Aren’t you like a baby tiger now?”

Zhishu He burst out laughter, not expecting that a doctor would have such a
good sense of humor.

But soon he stopped laughing. The pain he suffered during the

chemotherapy was even greater than that of the last time. Zhishu He’s
sideburns got wet by sweat for pain; he vomited so heavily that he could
even not keep his waist straight. Zhishu He could only refrain himself from
making a sound when he suffered such severe pain. Ziyu Ai called his name
softly in the distance. Hearing someone call him, Zhishu He slowly raised
his head after quite a while, opened his moistened eyes, and squeezed two
words out of his quivering lips, “It hurts...”

Hearing that, Ziyu Ai felt a sharp pain in his heart. In fact, he lied to Zhishu
He, who was so thin and feeble that he was not at all like a weak baby tiger,
but more like a kitten, whose little paws were not well used and any bit of
carelessness could make himself hurt easily.

“Have a rest in my office,” Ziyu Ai brought Zhishu He to his office. “I’ll

prescribe you some medicine.”

Zhishu He felt weak all over, without a little strength, so he did not refuse
Ziyu Ai. But to his surprise, the cushion on the doctor’s cot was replaced
with a thick one covered with a fluffy blanket. Zhishu He got pole-axed.

“Lie down and have a rest here. I’ll have other patients later,” Ziyu Ai
did not think more, and helped Zhishu He open the fluffy blanket on the
bed, which seemed recently aired, and was sweet and soft.
Zhishu He buried half of his face in the pale blue blanket full of sunshine’s
smell, feeling like crying, but he did not know why. A man, who had been
suffering hardships for a long time, was not afraid of being treated badly by
others, but afraid of being treated well. Because he had nothing to pay back.

“You can have a longer sleep,” Ziyu Ai drew half of the curtain, “I’ll
wake you up later.”
Zhishu He was tired both mentally and physically, so he fell asleep fast.
However, Ziyu Ai, sat at his desk, with his mind wandering, wondering
what his real feeling to Zhishu He was. To see that man suffer caused Ai a
great deal of heartache; he felt uncomfortable to see the love bites left by
another man; he was also angry at Zhishu He’s tolerance and deep love for
that man.

Ziyu Ai was born in a rich family with a great power; however, for
professional reasons, Ziyu Ai had always been self-restrained. He did not
smoke or drink; besides, he was not a playboy. He was just fond of cars and
raising flowers; in the two hobbies of Ziyu Ai, the latter one was developed
by his father.
He sent his favorite orchid to Zhishu He, even though they had met for only
a few times. Ziyu Ai raised the corner of his lips unconsciously, whirling
the pen among fingers.

Zhishu He hadn’t had such a good sleep for a long time. Sleeping like a log,
he felt warm and safe. He didn’t even dream much, the only bit impression
of the dream was a laurel standing in the sun, sweet and gentle.

The doctor did not wake him up. It was already dark when Zhishu He
awoke naturally. Ziyu Ai had no night shift today, so he went off work early
and came to check Zhishu He.

“You’re awake?” Ziyu Ai closed the medical report all in English with a
smile.

Zhishu He looked better, and hurried to get up, “I am really sorry to

disturb you.”

“Please don’t go to so much trouble about me, or I’ll feel I’m being
treated as a stranger,” Ziyu Ai shook his head disapprovingly, pointing at
the thermal dinner pail, “The medicated meals are delivered here
already. Have dinner here and then I’ll send you home.”

Zhishu He froze on hearing the words, feeling that there was something
wrong with Dr. Ai all day.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
21

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 21: Doctor Ai’s Scarf. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Ziyu Ai opened the dinner pail, a light delicious smell wafting out,
accompanied by a slight herbal fragrance.

“It’s from my friend’s medicinal diet restaurant. It should taste good,”

the doctor put the dishes in front of He. “Have a taste before it gets cold.”

Zhishu He quipped, “How much are doctors paid now? Is your bonus
linked with patients’ moods?”
Ziyu Ai did not respond. He put away a pile of medical reports at hand,
took a stool and sat down beside Zhishu He, “I haven’t had supper, either.
Let’s eat together.”

Zhishu He opened his mouth but did not know what to say, just feeling a
little embarrassed. He did not think more about it, but getting restless.

Ziyu Ai felt kind of heartache. When he handed the chopsticks to Zhishu

He, he still said two more sentences as an explanation, “There is no one in
my home, either. I just want someone to have dinner with me, not
planning to embarrass you.”

Zhishu He shook his head, “Nope. Dr. Ai is so nice that I’m flattered.”
He smiled at the doctor, with the black pupils sparkling under the
incandescent light.

Ziyu Ai also raised the corner of his lips slightly, feeling like touching
Zhishu He’s long eyelashes which slightly dropped. In fact, Ziyu Ai was an
unruly person. He was young, handsome, rich and capable. If he took a
fancy to someone, he would not consider too much to chase the one.
However, for making Zhishu He have a meal at ease with him today, he had
been working absent-minded to ponder on an excuse for a whole afternoon,
which seldom happened for him.

Maybe he really had feelings for Zhishu He. Ziyu Ai lowered his eyes,
roiling half the bowl of the soup with the spoon.

“Are you still feeling sick?” Ziyu Ai asked Zhishu He, who only moved
the chopsticks for a few times, then nothing more. It was estimated that
even that was out of politeness.

Zhishu He shook his head, “Nope, I have no appetite even at home. I

have been suffering from loss of appetite.”

“I’m looking for the one matching your bone marrow, and I’ll find it as
soon as possible,” at the thought of Zhishu He’s illness, Ziyu Ai felt a chill
in his heart. As his attending doctor, naturally, he knew better the state of
his illness. Zhishu He had missed the best time to accept chemotherapy. The
current treatment, instead of improving his health, was only delaying the
steadily worsening, even for one day.

Zhishu He expressed his thanks to the doctor, with little joyful expectation.

“Your illness... Does he know about it? Ziyu Ai restrained his emotions
and asked some probing questions intentionally or otherwise.

Ziyu Ai found that Zhishu He’s face got paler, with heavy fatigue between
his eyebrows, not knowing if it was just own illusion. Then Zhishu He said
in a calm voice, “I don’t want to tell him.”

Ziyu Ai did not request for further reply, as he could read the other’s facial
expression. He knew that Zhishu He must have unspeakable difficulties and
the relationship between the two was not inseparable as he had once
imagined.

Ziyu Ai did not feel guilty at all for involving in this relationship. He was
not the one falling in love easily, but once he had feelings for someone, he
must try to chase the one. He never gave up before having a try, since life
was short and true love was not rare. Besides, he believed that as long as his
loving hoe was well wielded, the foundation of every relationship could be
undermined. That man had never accompanied Zhishu He to have a
physical examination even though Zhishu was so withered. He was either
blind or indifferent.

“If you don’t feel like eating, it’s ok. Don’t push yourself too hard. I’ll
go to pick you up tomorrow,” Ziyu Ai did not want to make Zhishu He
feel embarrassed, so he washed his hands and fetched the clothes of Zhishu
He, “I’m off duty now. I’ll drop you off on my way home.”

Zhishu He still remembered the trouble caused by the fact that Doctor Ai
drove him home last time, so he could not be completely at ease. But Ziyu
Ai insisted on the decision and Zhishu He had no other choice. In the end,
when Zhishu He was forced to sit in the front passenger seat, he said wittily
in a complaining voice, “All girls want to marry a doctor, but I can’t
find the merit of a doctor. Are they all as bossy as you?”
“I know boys like it.”

Zhishu He was astonished by his words, and he casted a glance at Ziyu Ai

like a reflex, finding that the man seemingly did not care about what he said
at all, with kind of cynicism in his look, which was rare at usual time.

“You must be kidding!” Zhishu He smiled.

Ziyu Ai smiled, too, speaking nothing more.

He did not speak again until Zhishu He got out of the car. Ai lowered the
window and called softly, “Zhishu.” Zhishu He froze and looked back,
“Doctor?”

Ziyu Ai got out of the car, took his scarf off and forcibly wrapped it well
around the exposed neck of Zhishu He, “Go home now and I’ll pick you
up at two tomorrow afternoon.”

Not until the sports car was far away did Zhishu He come to his mind. The
scarf around his neck had the lingering warmth of another man. Zhishu He
did not know what the doctor wanted to do, and he did not think he was
good enough to attract gay man, either. In addition, the doctor was such an
excellent man.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
22

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 22: He Definitely Fell in Love with Zhishu. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu returned home, carefully folded up Ziyu Ai’s scarf and put it in a
bag. He sat on the sofa for a long time, thinking nothing, and stood up until
he felt a little cold.

It was much cold when there was no partner in the house regardless of the
high temperature controlled by air conditioner. Zhishu covered himself
tightly in the quilt, and fell into sleep soon.
Zhishu suddenly woke with a start in the middle of the night, and saw the
ceiling lamp still shining brightly in the bedroom, while it was still heavy
dark outside. He looked at the time and realized he had only slept for less
than half an hour. But now he couldn’t sleep and felt much more miserable
when he was awake. He really couldn’t help wanting to hear the voice of
Wenxu Jiang.

It was about 5:00 pm in France, so it might not bother to him... Zhishu was
very patient and tapped the numbers one by one with his finger. Even
though Wenxu’s number had already been added in the Contacts, typing all
numbers seemed much more official and sincerer, as he used to do.

The phone rang a few times. The man answered in a low voice, seemingly a
little bit gentle, “Do you still remember to call me?”

Zhishu He holding the phone became silent for a few seconds. He used to
call Wenxu very often in the beginning, but they didn’t have the money to
pay the phone bill. At that time, the happiest thing of Zhishu was talking to
Wenxu Jiang by his company’s phone with caution, even though they had
nothing serious to talk. Although they two could see each other at each
night, they still felt the day was too long. Later, everything changed. They
had nothing to say, and often got stuck in pique and sullenness with no
reason. Since one ignored the other, the other also would not talk to that
one. Now it was normal that they didn’t call each other for half a month.

“I miss you,” Zhishu suppressed his sadness and said without any
hesitation. In the few seconds, he seemed to spend several years.

Wenxu Jiang got stunned. It had been a long time since he heard Zhishu say
that. Moreover, he heard a hint of whimper from Zhishu’s three words. It
seemed to be true, also like an illusion.

“I miss you, too. I am busy these days and when I’m available, I am
afraid to disturb your rest. I will try to get the work done quickly and
go home to accompany you as soon as possible,” Wenxu Jiang said softly,
but guilty in heart.
Zhishu He was not stupid. Any splendid excuses were just to conceal the
fact that Wenxu Jiang didn’t pay much attention to Zhishu. There was no
message from Jiang. The man was in France, a romantic country, so far
away from Zhishu, with a young boy he liked. Zhishu could imagine that
how happy Jiang was now. It was normal to have much enjoyment and
forget to go back home. As for Zhishu, he just tortured himself in the dark
night.

He pressed his lips lightly and replied in his throat.

He was thinking what to say, but heard a faint voice on the phone, “Brother
Jiang..., how can you keep talking for such a long time? The dishes are
getting cold...”

Saying in a spoiled tone and a clear voice, the boy on the other side of the
phone seemed impatient.

Zhishi’s face was getting pale, and he inferred that Wenxu Jiang might spoil
that boy very much. Even Zhishu didn’t try to disturb Jiang’s phone before.

It suddenly became quiet on that side, and there was no noise at all.

He Zhishu tried to stabilize his tone, as he was not trying to make Wenxu
Jiang feel embarrassed. “It’s so cold in Beijing now. When you come
back, just call me. I can pick you up at the airport and make the radish
and sparerib soup for you.”

“Oh, honey, I love you most.”

Zhishu smiled and yawned, “Okay, you have to do your own business. I
am sleepy.”

Wenxu Jiang said good night in a gentle voice. Zhishu He had a sleepless
night, and his heart was hurt as if cut out by a blunt knife. After midnight,
Zhishu was wandering in the house aimlessly, but did not know what he
was looking for. Finally, he was tired and sat on the cold floor of the living
room, crying like a child who lost the whole world. Zhishu bit his lips, and
the thin shoulders trembled. He cried and stuck the heating pad on his chest.
Only by the heating pad, would his heart not freeze.

Zhishu fell into sleep till the early morning. In a high fever, he lapsed into
unconsciousness.

Here came the retribution. Zhishu showed a relaxed smile. He left his
parents, gave up his dreams, lost everything, and fell in love with one who
he should not love.

The phone was ringing, and Zhishu was in a daze for a long time before
answering it. “Wenxu Jiang... It hurts... The pain is killing me...”

“Don’t leave me alone...”

“I am docile...”

“How can you lie to me?” Zhishu’s eyes turned red in the fever. Once the
emotion accumulated for a long time, it was really difficult to stop when the
emotion burst out.

“Zhishu! What happened? Where are you? I’ll go to find you!”

It turned out to be Doctor Ai... Although his mind was not clear at this
point, he still trusted Ziyu Ai in his subconscious, told the address to Ai,
and then fell into sleep.

Ziyu Ai arrived at Zhishu’s house with a locksmith. When he unlocked the

door, Zhishu still didn’t wake up.

Ziyu Ai saw the skinny man curled up out of cold, with knitted brows and
some tears on his pale face. Ziyu Ai found that his call to Zhishu had not
been hung up.

Ai bent over and lifted the man in his arms. Zhishu was as light as a feather.
His lovable cheek snuggled up upon his chest and his high fever melted
Ai’s heart. Definitely. Ziyu Ai confirmed he definitely fell in love with
Zhishu.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
23

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 23: A Smart Golden Retriever. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He woke up at a completely strange place. Although the fever had

just been brought down, he still felt dizzy and tired.

Zhishu He sat up and rubbed his temples. Some recalled vague fragments
hinted that he must have troubled the doctor again. He looked around- - the
bedroom, decorated in black, white and gray colors, was super simple and
modern in cool style. Beside the balcony, kinds of models of sports cars and
off-road vehicles filled a whole embedded glass wall.
It turned out that the doctor was a collector. Zhishu He could not help
showing a smile. The moment when he got off the bed, he saw the
bedroom’s door be gingerly pushed open. It was so strange that Zhishu He
peeped out with curiosity, holding his breath.

Slowly and gently, Ziyu Ai pulled the door that was ajar, not seeing Zhishu
He who had already sat up. Zhishu He wondered why this doctor behaved
like a thief in his own house?

The next second, the head of a big golden dog popped into the room. Seeing
that, Ziyu Ai could not restrain himself anymore, lowered his voice and
grinded his teeth to the golden guy, “Hey, boy, get out of here! Go! Go!
Go! How curious you are! I’ve been hiding from you like this, and you
still come back here, uh huh!”

Seeing the doctor’s behavior, Zhishu He sniggered. The big dog was so
flexible that its body swooshed in from the crack as soon as its head came
in. It was really a beautiful golden retriever.

Ziyu Ai stood aside in almost tears, with a bowl of porridge in his hand, and
said to Zhishu He, “It doesn’t bite people. It’s just a little big... Don’t be
afraid of it.”

The dog went close to Zhishu He, and they looked at each other in a silly
way. The golden retriever wagged its tail as if greeting the new visitor.
Zhishu He stroked its head, smiling at Ziyu Ai, “I’m not afraid of dogs. I
like animals very much.”

Zhishu He was sitting by the bed, and on his white instep rested a pair of
huge golden paws.

Ziyu Ai relaxed, his facial expression softer and gentler, came up to Zhishu
He and handed him the porridge, “Eat some millet porridge. It’s boiled
for a whole morning and the taste is good.”

“I always bring you so much trouble every day and I feel so sorry...”
Ziyu Ai sat by the side of Zhishu He, with the dog like turning into like a
dog-skin blanket, lying on the floor so that Ziyu Ai could relax his feet. The
pupil color of Ziyu Ai, similar to that of the golden retriever, was gentle
brown filled with loyalty. He looked at Zhishu He, shaking his head, “Did
you always treat a friend in the way you treat an outsider? Or you
don’t even regard me as a friend of yours?”

“Nope,” Zhishu He hurried to shake his head, long eyelashes drooping, as

if trying hard to organize language, “I just feel embarrassed to bother
anyone else... But I’m so glad to meet you since I haven’t made a new
friend for a long time.”

Ziyu Ai was satisfied with his answer. He urged Zhishu He to have some
porridge and then take the medicine. He said, “Stay here a few more
days.”

Zhishu He froze upon his words, and then bantered, “I’d better leave.
Personal physician sounds expensive.”

“There’s nobody in your home. Are you sure you can take care of
yourself?” Ziyu Ai was clearly sounding out He about his private life, but
pretending that he just mentioned that casually.

Zhishu He did not express an opinion, clearly showing that he would not
like to talk about it.

“You stay here today, and tomorrow I’ll drive you home and get some
medicine from the hospital in passing,” Ziyu Ai did not urge him, kicking
fat hip of the golden retriever, “Play with my brother here.”

Zhishu He found it both funny and annoying, “Doctor, I have four kittens
to feed at home.”

Ziyu Ai did not remember seeing an animal in He’s home, but still
promised, “I will send someone to feed them. If you go home and have a
fever again, you’ll be in trouble. Don’t think about it. Just rest for a
while.” Zhishu He could not even find out a reason to refuse him. Ziyu Ai
left with the bowl in his hand, leaving the dog jumping on the bed agilely.
This was the first time for Zhishu He to see a doctor who liked animals and
didn’t suffer from mysophobia... The golden fellow seemed to have been
very accustomed to lying on the bed, resting half its body on the lap of
Zhishu He. Stroking the dog’s head, Zhishu He, who had eaten the millet
porridge, felt warm in his stomach. Feeling the soft bed and warm air
regulated by the air conditioner, Zhishu He let his mind wander. He had
been dreaming of having such a cozy home with Wenxu Jiang as this one.

The dog, with its damp, hot and soft tongue, licked Zhishu He’s cheek,
which brought He back down to earth. Zhishu He pushed it aside. Scratched
by its fur at his nose, Zhishu He felt like sneezing.

After a while, the doctor came back. He might be off duty today. Taking the
mobile phone, he lay next to Zhishu He, stroking the dog and browsing
microblog.

“I don’t have a guest room. Because it serves as a fitness room. The bed
is comfortable.” Ziyu Ai used three short sentences to successfully block
the question that was almost blurted out by Zhishu He. It was not awkward
for two men to lie in the same bed, each doing his own thing.

Ziyu Ai was in fact thinking that the dog would earn some more bones in its
next few meals.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
24

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 24: Sleep Together with Doctor Ai. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He was a gentle person, not good at refusing others. So he stayed

although he felt uncomfortable. The doctor made some soup and two light
stir-fries as supper. Zhishu He had a poor appetite, but he was still trying to
finish the half bowl of rice for feeling embarrassed to make leftovers. Ziyu
Ai was so considerate that he took it away from Zhishu He, spooned out
half a bowl of light crucian soup for him, and said, “Have a piece of fish
and a little soup. You need to take the medicine later.”
The doctor did it naturally, but Zhishu He was dumbfounded at that
moment. He had mixed feelings, unable to keep his mind clear. But Ziyu Ai
seemed not to regard his behavior as an intimate one. He even poured the
remaining rice directly into his own bowl, added some scrambled eggs with
tomatoes and quickly finished all the food.

Seeing this, Zhishu He did not know what to say. Ziyu Ai, however, seemed
not to care, and after the meal, he hummed a melody and went to fetch dog
food for the dog which had been hanging around the table and waiting for
nearly half an hour.

Zhishu He was absent-minded with eyes dropping while he was clearing

away dishes and leftovers, thinking that he should not gauge the heart of a
gentleman with his own mean measure. Even He himself did not believe
that the doctor would like such a poor and colorless invalid as him. But why
had the doctor been so nice to him? There should be a reason for this. He
had suffered enough for Wenxu Jiang, who got both his body and soul. The
more happiness he experienced at the beginning, the more pain he would
suffer in the end. He was aware of the fact that it was his own fault because
he chose to be with Jiang.

Zhishu He stopped thinking about anything since he could not get the result.
When Ziyu Ai came back after feeding the dog, Zhishu He had already
finished washing the dishes and was rinsing the dishcloth to wipe the
marble counter.

“I invite you to be my home as my guest. You do the housework here,

and I will be sorry for that,” Ziyu Ai hurried to get his hands out of the
cold water and said, “How cold the water is!”

Ziyu Ai toweled the hands of Zhishu He so meticulously that he almost

wiped every finger. The pair of hands were fair and thin, with blue blood
vessels clearly seen. They were not pretty hands. But Ziyu Ai suddenly
recalled that Zhishu He held the fox-furred collar of the down jacket with
this pair of hands the other day, so gentle and so lonely at that moment; he
felt a fire of desire burning in his body, but he could not control it. Ziyu Ai
had always been abstinent and self-controlled, not expecting that one day he
would be in the psychosexuality so much only by holding one’s hands.
His mind wandered a little longer. When Zhishu He withdrew his hand
back, Ziyu Ai suddenly came back to himself, feeling a little embarrassed.

“Take a shower and you’d better go to bed early. You have a fever
during the day and your body is still weak,” Ziyu Ai tossed the dishcloth
aside. “Leave the housework to me.”

Zhishu He was pushed into the bathroom, stuffed with a soft smoky
bathrobe and a large towel in his hand. Pressing a smile out, he said thanks
to Ziyu Ai.

There were two bathrooms in the apartment. Zhishu He finished the shower
before Ziyu Ai did. He took the new medicine, whose effect was too strong
for him to resist. The more he thought, the more blurred he would feel. It
was pretty tough. He lay prone on the bed and fell asleep lightly.

Ziyu Ai took several cold showers in the bathroom before he dared come
out. He played outside when he was rebellious and young years ago. As not
only a big spender but a handsome man, he had met so many pretty girls
and handsome boys chasing after him that he suffered from aesthetic fatigue
now, not expecting to lose his heart to Zhishu He so easily.

When the doctor came out of the bathroom, Zhishu He had been asleep,
with most of his face buried in the pillow towel embroidered with the
patterns of baby blue flowers. Ziyu Ai’s bathrobe was too big for Zhishu
He, who was not aware that his shoulder and back were exposed. He had
fair skin, but obvious bones because he was too thin.

At the thought of Zhishu He being possessed by the other man, and his
meek and slender neck being marked by the other man, Ziyu Ai was in an
irrepressible rage.

Ziyu Ai turned off the light and lay down beside Zhishu He. It was a great
mistake for a doctor to fall in love with his patient, but he did not care. He
was more worried about the health of Zhishu He. He knew better than
anyone else that Zhishu He would not last to this season next year if the
right bone marrow could not be found.
Zhishu He began to feel uncomfortable in the wee hours; in a daze, he felt
like being wrapped up by someone as if he was snuggling up to a big stove.
He felt so hot that even his temples were damp, but he could not shake
himself off the embrace. Half-awake, he pushed and touched a man’s chest.

“Wenxu Jiang... Don’t hold me so tight...”

The doctor, who was planning to pretend to be sleeping and innocent when
Zhishu He sensed his existence, finally opened his eyes... It was the second
time for him to hear the name from Zhishu He’s mouth. He felt
uncomfortable. Especially now, Zhishu He was lying in his arms and on his
bed, but the right to hug him was borrowed from another man.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
25

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 25: To Investigate Wenxu Jiang. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He did not get up early. He checked time and it was more than eight
o'clock. He opened the bedroom's door and went out, just meeting Ziyu Ai
who returned from walking his dog, with breakfast in the hand.

"Didn't you sleep well last night?" when Zhishu He was drinking soya-
bean milk, he got a glimpse of the deep dark circles under the eyes of the
doctor, and asked, "Did I bother you?"
The doctor seemed tired today, listlessly lowering his head and scooping
out the jellied bean curd, and replied, "Nope."

Zhishu He felt the bad mood of Ziyu Ai, but he did not know what was
going on with Ai on earth, who was still in a good mood last night. He
could not ask anything but to finish his meal in silence.

After the meal, Doctor Ai drove Zhishu He to the hospital by a sedate

Chevrolet. On the way, Ziyu Ai selected some songs for He, and asked in a
gentle voice, "Whose songs do you like?"

Zhishu He shook his head, smiling, "Anyone's is ok."

Ziyu Ai played one at random. Then the melody was slowly streaming out,
with some loneliness.

After taking the medicine from the hospital, Ziyu Ai sent Zhishu He home.
When they got to the gate of He's housing estate, it was right lunch time.
Zhishu He felt sorry to bother the doctor these days, so after consideration,
he tried to ask, "Dr. Ai, would you like to have lunch with me? My
treat."

Ziyu Ai refused, "Some other day. You should go home and have a good
rest."

Zhishu He never liked to push others, which he was not good at. He merely
said, "H'm." Watching the Chevrolet be driven away, he turned around to
go home.

Ziyu Ai felt quite upset. For both himself and Zhishu He, it was not good to
keep his feeling in the heart. It was true that Ziyu Ai liked Zhishu He. But
now he really wondered whether the other man, whose neglect of Zhishu
He for so long might be only due to He's deliberate concealment of the
illness, really had deep feelings for Zhishu He.

Suddenly, as if thinking of something, Ai pulled over quickly and pressed a

string of numbers on his mobile phone.
"Yu?" It was a deep male voice.

"Are you busy, brother?" Ziyu Ai closed his eyes, with his fingers
tapping the steering wheel, "I want to ask you for a favor."

Ziqian Ai smiled, "It's been a long time since you asked me to do

anything. What's the matter? Tell me."

"Help me investigate someone."

"Who?"

"Wenxu Jiang," Ziyu Ai knew nothing about the man but the name.
Speaking that out, he knew that his brother might not be able to find the
man with so little information, and now he felt like a fool. But out of the
expectation, after a short silence at the other end of the phone, Ziqian Ai
asked, "Which Wenxu Jiang?"

"Brother, which one do you know?"

"One of my recent cooperative partners, in his early thirties. A good-

looking man with well-versed business skills," Ziqian Ai said with a
pause, "Why do you want to investigate him?"

Many thoughts whirled around in Ziyu Ai's mind; he felt that it was right
the one he wanted to investigate, and replied with unexamined words, "It
seems to be his... His boyfriend comes to me for physical examination."

Ziqian Ai did not think much of the word "boyfriend" at all, as if being
unimpressed. Then he sneered, "Is there anyone who dares to call himself
the boyfriend of Wenxu Jiang? This would make the man laugh to
death. So many people flirted with him that no one could be counted as
a formal lover."

Hearing this, Ziyu Ai felt his fragile heart broke instantly. He told himself
over and over again that there were so many people with the same name
these days. But in his subconscious, he was clear that this was probably the
truth, and unconsciously his eyes got wet.
He even did not hear the following words of Ziqian Ai. At the other end of
the phone, Ziqian Ai, who was busy, said hello for several times, but no one
responded. So he hung up the phone with "we can have a good chat when
we meet some other day".

Ziyu Ai sat still, his mind in a mess. Suddenly, he punched the steering
wheel hard. How could he believe it? How dare he believe it? The once-in-
a-life-time people for him, the one he treated as a treasure, was spoiled to
such a poor state in such a dirty love trade.

Zhishu, with hickeys on the neck, always stayed in that luxury alone, and
when he was groggy, he even begged that man not to give him up.

Ziyu Ai was so distressed that he felt like being fried in the pot.

Zhishu He did not think of leaving Jiang, even badly ill. It was not about
money or power; it was just because the man was so stupid that he loved
Jiang that jerk so deeply. Ziyu Ai was clear about that.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
26

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 26: He Came Back. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He opened the door, finding his home neat and tidy. It was obvious
that Doctor Ai asked someone to clean it up. The four little cats were
snuggling against each other and sleeping soundly with small snores.

Zhishu He sighed softly. He knew that things were developing beyond his
limited imagination. He could neither ignore nor accept them.

The following days were so quiet that Zhishu He’s life seemingly came to
an end, because Doctor Ai didn’t answer He’s repeated calls. Zhishu He
intended to invite Doctor Ai for a dinner. Wenxu Jiang didn’t call him
either, and only sent a few short messages expressing tender feelings late at
night.

It was four or five days later when Zhishu He finally went out again. He
didn’t have any appetite, but he needed to buy fruits and vegetables.

It was windy outside today with snowflakes coming down.

Tightening the scarf around the neck, Zhishu He was wondering to go home
as soon as possible after buying some necessary stuff. He was too
preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice a puddle of frozen water on the
ground of an alley. He grazed his knees when he fell very hard to the
ground.

It was really painful, but Zhishu He didn’t allow him to indulge in self-pity
since he knew that no one cared about him. Silently, biting the lower lip, he
picked himself up and collected his stuff scattered all over the ground. He
couldn’t stand up straight because of the pain in the knees, so he hobbled
home slowly with a slightly-bent back.

Zhishu He had been used to the loneliness as he lived alone for a long time.
The longer one lived alone, the more taciturn one would become. Zhishu
He wasn’t born to be like this, but he had experienced too many hurts and
separations.

The four little cats grew fast. They had become very familiar with Zhishu
He and liked to cling to He. Their naughty paws always tickled his arms or
neck, making him feel warm in the heart. He was tired, but he didn’t forget
to prepare a pot of fish soup for them, which was still stewed in the kitchen.

But Zhishu He didn’t expect that Wenxu Jiang would come home after 11
p.m. He was a light sleeper, so he was instantly wakened upon the first
noise of door opening.

Kicking the Italian cow-leather boots off, Wenxu Jiang then threw his
woolen overcoat onto the sofa as he always did. Wenxu Jiang would never
remember to wear a scarf without Zhishu He’s repeated demands.
“You’re back?”

“Why do you still stay up?” Wenxu Jiang was surprised with raised
eyebrows.

Zhishu He came up to Jiang, softly held his hand, which was bloody cold,
and said, “I just woke up. Why don’t you tell me when you would land
at the airport, unless you don’t want me to pick you up?”

Wenxu Jiang came close to He and kissed him on the forehead, “The flight
is too late. I don’t want to disturb you, and it’s too cold at Beijing’s
winter night.” Zhishu He smiled noncommittally, but he withdrew his hand
from Wenxu Jiang, said, “How about fish soup? There is still some soup
in the kitchen. Let me warm up it up for you.”

Wenxu Jiang’s cold eyes became warmer after he heard Zhishu’s words, and
then he said, “I go to take a shower first.”

Wenxu Jiang just took a short shower. When Jiang came out, Zhishu He
was just pouring the hot soup into a white china bowl.

“This soup is so light.” Holding the bowl, Wenxu Jiang sipped the soup as
naive as a teenager.

Zhishu He replied, “The cats can’t eat oil, and I don’t like salty food.”

After drinking the soup as if taking the medicine, Wenxu Jiang called
Zhishu He over, scooped He into his arms and pressed him on the sofa,
“Did you miss me? Were you having a good time with cats when I was
away?”

Zhishu He only shook his head. The expression in He’s face was always
gentle, but no one could ignore He’s alienation.

Jiang moved closer to kiss He’s lips, but only lightly kissed He on the cheek
as He turned his head away.

“I am really tired,” Zhishu He touched Wenxu Jiang’s nose with his finger
tip, avoiding Jiang’s eyes filled with complex feelings, “You must be tired
too, so go to bed early.”

“But I really miss you.” Wenxu Jiang frowned, and he got close again to
Zhishu He to whisper in his ears, “Let’s have a hug.” Zhishu He knew that
it was Jiang’s trump card to call for sex, because He was very sensitive to
whispers in the ears, not to mention Jiang’s sexy voice.

However, Zhishu He only frowned with a sudden strike of sickness in the

throat. Zhishu He didn’t want to have sex with Jiang, so He voluntarily
reached out to hug Jiang, and said “Let me hug you. Now go to sleep.”
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
27

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 27: I Love You, but Don’t Treat Me as a Fool... 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

“What’s wrong?” Wenxu Jiang held Zhishu He’s face, full of inquiry in his
eyes. “You are so strange all this while.”

Zhishu shook his head, and felt hurt on his cheeks due to thin callus of
Wenxu’s hands.

“Do you blame me for neglecting you? Are you angry with me?” Wenxu
said in a tone as the way of soothing a child, with a little bit bantering sense
in the voice. “Now I’m back, right?”
Zhuishu raised his eyes and stared at Wenxu. The gaze was too
complicated, but just for a moment, his eyes drooped again. He looked
innocent and lovable with his thick and long eyelashes quietly covering the
eyes. It seemed that the cold and sharp disappointment flashing across his
eyes was just Wenxu’s illusion.

Zhishu had always been gentle and soft; even so, just like now, he dropped
his eyes, but at that moment he was arrogant and his manner was cold and
distant to the extreme; such a gaze like a thorn tortured Wenxu Jiang.

Wenxu suddenly remembered the call from Zhishu when Jiang was in
France that afternoon. He was not sure if Zhishu heard Zui Shen’s voice. He
should actually give a perfect explanation to Zhishu. But Zhishu didn’t ask
anything about it, so Wenxu definitely couldn’t explain. When the call
finished that day, Wenxu became so angry in his heart somehow. He
directly turned a cold shoulder to Zui Shen. What Wenxu hated most was
the lovers wanted to replace his couple- Zhishu, the only one he loved and
accepted. No one deserved his love, except Zhishu. When Zui Shen talked
back on that day, Wenxu Jiang directly gave him a slap across the face and a
ticket back to China. After Zui Shen left, Wenxu was indeed handling the
work in France.

Wenxu guessed that Zhishu was suspicious of him, but did not expect the
result was so serious.

“Honey, I am wrong,” Wenxu held Zhishu’s face and gently kissed his
eyebrows and cheeks. “My fault... I’ve neglected you. I’ll take you out on
New Year’s Day, wherever you want to go...”

Wenxu kissed Zhishu, but Zhishu said nothing, looking up at Wenxu with
his long eyelashes fluttering like a butterfly’s wings.

Wenxu’s heart was melted, and all the apologies and guilt were rushing into
his heart. He became much gentler, “Little Shu... I love you the most, so
please don’t ignore me...”

The tears suddenly came down, even though Zhishu closed his eyes, trying
to cover them, “Wenxu Jiang... I don’t miss you.”
“It doesn’t matter. I miss you anyway.”

Wenxu Jiang held Zhishu He in his arms and then pressed him on the bed in
the bedroom. Zhishu missed Wenxu so much that he felt hurt in his heart,
but he still refused to admit it. How could the man, who with his lover
enjoyed the journey, express his missing in such an affectionate way?

Indeed, good acting skills had nothing to do with feelings. Wenxu Jiang
could see through He's lies at one glance, but Zhishu He couldn’t escape
from Jiang’s gentle trap.

“Turn off the lights, okay?” Zhishu slightly trembled, because he felt
excited when Wenxu kissed him on the neck.

“Honey, let me see,” Wenxu bit Zhishu’s chin, and smiled gently. “We
have been together for so long time and so familiar with each other’s
body. Don’t be shy.”

Zhishu breathed unstably. He was only afraid that Wenxu could see the
pinholes and bruises on his arms. Zhishu almost cried and said in a hoarse
voice, “Please.... Turn off the lights.”

Wenxu had no choice but to follow him, and then he completely possessed
Zhishu in the darkness.

“Zhishu...” Wenxu moved fast, and almost embedded Zhishu’s whole body
into his arms. He Zhishu faced Wenxu, sitting in front of him, and was
invaded into an unprecedented depth. He put his chin on Wenxu’s shoulder,
and couldn’t help begging and sobbing in a low voice.
“Jiang... Wenxu Jiang... Ah...” Zhishu was forced to lie prostrate on the
bed and finally cried, “Slowly... Please... slowly... Um... No... Uh...”

“You call me what?” Wenxu moved faster, and he grasped Zhishu’s waist
which was slender beyond his impression. The pain even made Zhishu’s
voice disjointed.

“Brother... Brother Jiang...”

“Do you realize your mistake?”

Zhishu was almost faint. He shook his head and answered subconsciously,
“No... I don’t know...”

Wenxu clinging to the bare back of Zhishu, asked in a husky and gentle
tone, “Do you miss me?”

Zhishu said in a choked voice, “Yeah... Very much...”

Wenxu suddenly felt relieved and a little delighted, then gave Zhishu a peck
on the earlobe. Wenxu moved much gentler and said, “Baby... I miss you
too...” Zhishu heard such a sentence, but he felt that the body was getting
cold slowly, only leaving disappointment and pain.

I love you, but don’t treat me as a fool...

When everything finished, Zhishu was softly lying prone on the bed.
Wenxu scooped him into his arms and let Zhishu He lie prone on his chest.
This kind of action was what they used to do at the first few years. At that
time, they even had no money to pay for the heating bills in winter. Zhishu
was sensitive to coldness, so Wenxu used to hold him tightly in his arms
and wrap themselves in the quilt.

He had always been reluctant to made Zhishu suffer anything from the
start... Wenxu couldn’t fall into sleep, and touched Zhishu’s hair in the dark
from time to time. How could he leave Zhishu at home and sleep with
others? Or he believed that the person he really cared about was different
from those people who screwed with him.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
28

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 28: Zhishu Had a Fever Again. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He had a restless sleep. He woke up early in the morning, tired and
feeble. After staggering to take a bath, he put on the pajama and quietly
went back to lie on the bed again. Zhishu He was cold but the quilt with
Wenxu Jiang inside was warm like a comfortable stove.

For the northern part of China, the sunrise in winter was normally very late.
Wenxu Jiang, who was obviously exhausted recently, was still in a sound
sleep. Biting the lower lip, Zhishu He carefully moved closer to softly hug
his man’s waist. Zhishu He’s love for Jiang was so deep that the fear and
affection for Jiang had merged into his blood and soul. Even though he had
accepted hemodialysis several times, his love for Jiang was never filtered
out; it was just there, in each cell, and had become an unspeakable instinct
since long time ago.

There would be no such person as Zhishu He who would accompany

Wenxu Jiang for seven harsh years, endure three years of long wait as Jiang
was having affairs outside and spend the last year of his life to love Jiang. It
was only Zhishu He, who could always be so tender and brave. Only Zhishu
He.

Wenxu Jiang woke up to find Zhishu He still sleeping in his arms. Jiang
tightened his grasp over He in the half-awake state. Due to the subconscious
love for He, no one was allowed by Jiang to stay in his bed for the whole
night, except Zhishu He.

Zhishu He’s physique didn’t change a lot over these years, as he slept in
Jiang’s arms now as a cute cat as if they were back in high school. Wenxu
Jiang just couldn’t remember when Zhishu stopped to cling to him, when
Zhishu stopped to ask for his whereabouts when he stayed out all night, and
when Zhishu He stopped to look into his dubious friends. Zhishu He was
always alone, just becoming more and more taciturn and cheerless. Even
Wenxu Jiang thought he was bored with Zhishu He for quite a long time
and didn’t want to stay with He, but until today Jiang suddenly realized that
he was simply too afraid to face Zhishu He. Jiang was afraid to confront
He’s tender but vacant look, evasive eyes, and subconscious resistance in
bed.

Wenxu Jiang reached out his hand to tuck He’s messy hair behind the ear,
while looking at Zhishu with soft and deep look. Zhishu He was still
sleeping with regular breathing, and his breath made Jiang’s heart itch. In
the end, Jiang couldn’t help but touch He’s flushed face. Wenxu Jiang was
in a daze when he found that Zhishu He was having a fever.

“Zhishu? Be a good boy, get up,” Wenxu Jiang said with raised eyebrows,
and slightly pinched the tip of Zhishu He’s nose.
Zhishu He was used to a low fever, so he didn’t have any obvious feeling of
discomfort. Instead Zhishu He was suffering from the headache after being
woken up by Wenxu Jiang. So He gently shook his head and snuffled in a
soft way to show his rejection.

Wenxu Jiang enjoyed Zhishu He’s “spoiled” manner like a willful child, so
he just tucked Zhishu in and got out of bed to search for medicine.

Surprisingly, the bookcase, though not big originally, was now half empty
and the other half was filled with different sizes of glass bottles with
medicine inside. They were supposed to be medicine, however, they didn’t
look like to be. If they were really medicine, then it was weird to have so
much over here. Wenxu Jiang didn’t take it seriously; he found the medicine
for fever from the medical box and hurried to Zhishu He’s side.

“Take some medicine first, and then continue sleeping,” Wenxu Jiang
brought a cup of water to He’s lips, “I will cook millet congee for you
later.”

Zhishu He slowly came to sense, and moved over to take the medicine.

Wenxu Jiang asked, “Did I hurt you in bed last night?”

Zhishu He wrapped the quilt around himself, turned his back to Jiang, and
didn’t answer him.

“I have time today; let me take you to hospital after breakfast. Have
you been treating yourself harshly, baby? You are so thin!” Moving his
hand gently over He’s hair, Wenxu Jiang was a little astonished to find He
was so skinny.

Zhishu stiffened and sullenly replied, “I don’t want to go to hospital.”

Pausing for a few seconds, he added, “Go to feed my cats please.”

“Don’t be like this. Listen to me,” Wenxu Jiang would never compromise
on what he had determined to do, but he realized he was too tough on words
when speaking with Zhishu He, so Jiang also added, “I will go to feed the
cats, so don’t worry about that.”
Seeing Jiang walk out of the room, He still didn’t want to go to hospital.
Their relationship was doomed to end, and it was too late to make up for
what had been missed. Zhishu He would never accept apology or guilt, if
they were based on sympathy.

Wenxu Jiang, where were you in the very first place? The look on Zhishu
He’s eyes was sad, as He recalled that just two months ago, Wenxu Jiang
neither agreed to come home to eat dumplings with him, nor asked about
why his face was so pale. Otherwise, Zhishu He wouldn’t have kept his
secret so long on his own. It took more than love for one to withstand all
neglect and hurt, and to devote one’s affection and even life to the other, in
disregard of death.

Zhishu He’s face got paler, He could pretend to be tough, or display his
weakness to resist the things he didn’t want to do.

After Wenxu Jiang made breakfast and went back to bedroom to call Zhishu
He for the breakfast, Jiang found that Zhishu curled up in bed, and He’s
little face was pale and covered with cold sweat. Zhishu He noticed Jiang,
and he lifted his head with eyes filled with tears. Zhishu wanted to speak
but only opened his mouth, and murmured, “Brother...”

“I am aching...”

“Which part is aching? Tell me. Zhishu, don’t frighten me...”

“I am feeble, and my waist and legs are so aching.”

Wenxu Jiang held Zhishu He into his arms with the quilt wrapped around
his body. Jiang only supposed that the sex last night made Zhishu tired, and
Zhishu happened to have a fever, so he felt so uncomfortable. Jiang softly
comforted, “You need to have a good rest; let’s take congee later. I will
accompany you to have a physical examination some other day.”

Zhishu He nodded, knowing that he had kept his secret one more time.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
29

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 29: Love Made People Tolerant and Silent without

Complaint. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang was really busy. He planned to stay at home with Zhishu He,
but he answered

When Wenxu Jiang hung up the secretary’s phone, he reached out and
closed up the collar of Zhishu’s downy pajamas. Then he fed him a
spoonful of porridge, “Warm your stomach, and then lie down. I’ll
accompany you to have a good rest.”
Zhishu sat quietly, having the porridge. Before he said something, Wenxu
Jiang’s phone rang again.

Wenxu Jiang put down the bowl to pick up his cell phone, but his face
turned extremely gloomy when he saw the caller display. He hung up the
phone directly and shut it down. Then he looked up at Zhishu with a smile,
“I’m sorry to bother you with the trifles of the company since I
promised to accompany you.”

Zhishu pretended that he didn’t see the caller’s name Shen, which was short
but annoying.

Wenxu Jiang was absolutely not in a good mood now;. In fact, he was so
angry that he wanted to kill Zui Shen. Wenxu Jiang preferred Zui Shen’s
tactful character except his pretty face at the beginning. Zui Shen looked
happy every time Wenxu called him and never play tricks or lost his temper
because of feeling left out. Zui Shen’s smile was little silly but warm.
Wenxu Jiang really had an affection for him so Zui Shen could stay with
him for more than two years.

But now, Wenxu Jiang felt bored with Zui Shen. In France, Zui Shen
interrupted Jiang's call even he knew that was from Zhishu. This time,
Wenxu had shut down the special number for Zui Shen; Zui Shen should
have known that Wenxu Jiang didn’t want to contact him, but Zui Shen still
dialed this number. Did Shen want to track Wenxu Jiang? It was crazy to do
that. Shen might as well consider his weight in the heart of Wenxu Jiang.
He thought Wenxu Jiang cared about him and wanted to be the formal
spouse of Jiang after years of company. Wenxu Jiang didn’t mind Zui Shen
secretly learnt the behaviors and habits of Zhishu. Sometimes he looked at
these little habits and even indulged in enjoyment when missing Zhishu.
But Wenxu Jiang couldn’t allow things that even Zhishu didn’t do were
done by Zui Shen.

“Would you like some?” The voice of Zhishu made Jiang Wenxu suddenly
earth to himself. His soft tone was somewhat weak and husky.

Wenxu Jiang shook his head and fed the remaining half bowl of porridge to
Zhishu, “Where do you want to go? After New Year’s Day, I have a
week time to spare.”

Zhishu wrinkled his delicate brow, looking sideways at Wenxu Jiang, like a
kitten trying to rub itself against owner’s leg in a spoiled manner, “Travel is
tiring.”

Wenxu’s heart was heavily touched and melted. He threw the spoon,
pressed Zhishu at the back of the chair and gave Zhishu a long French kiss
till his mouth was full of sweet smell of porridge. “Zhishu... Zhishu...”
Wenxu Jiang muttered his name several times, and suddenly realized that
the lovers outside were meaningless and the most desirable one was still
Zhishu He.

Zhishu’s body was softened by this kiss. He was somewhat confused by

Wenxu Jiang’s behavior. Zhishu He thought that Wenxu Jiang was like an
emperor who suddenly realized he should dote on all his wives in the
palace, and now it was his turn.

“Wenxu Jiang...” Zhishu escaped a kiss on his lips. His eyes were a little
dull, “Your mother told me that our relationship couldn’t survive thirty
years old.”

Wenxu Jiang was stunned. These things were too harsh to both of them. He
did not know why Zhishu suddenly mentioned this. But he comforted
Zhishu casually, “You’re thirty and I’m thirty-one years old this year.
We did survive it, didn’t we?”

Zhishu burst into tears. He grasped Wenxu’s shirt and his thin shoulders
trembled sharply. He said, “Yes, we survived it. In order to prove that
your mother is wrong, I will try my best to survive 30 years old...”

Zhishu He seldom cried in front of Wenxu Jiang. He was tender, but he bore
much in these years. In fact, he was often bullied to cry in bed by Wenxu
Jiang. Zhishu knew that there was a streak of sadism in Wenxu Jiang’s
nature, and he could not satisfy Jiang. When he cried, Wenxu wouldn’t go
on. Later, Wenxu Jiang became more and more gentle in bed and finally
chose to be wild in other people’s beds.
Wenxu Jiang didn’t know what Zhishu was crying about, and his heart was
almost broken upon Zhishu’s tears. He did not know that Zhishu was crying
for them. One with deep love was short-lived while the other was
promiscuous.

He was weeping for their love of fourteen years turned sour.

When they were in high school. One day, after classes were over, Wenxu
Jiang gave a note to Zhishu He. He asked, “Do you know how it feels to
like someone very much?”

When Wenxu Jiang was young, he did not use the word “love” easily, but
he loved Zhishu He much more than any time.

That night, Zhishu held the note in his hand and thought about the question
all night. Finally, he thought of Huang Biyun (a female writer of Hong
Kong)’s sentence that love made people tolerant and silent without
complaint and sadness.

This answer had been weighed and considered in Zhishu’s mind for
thousands of times for more than ten years, but it had not been given to
Wenxu Jiang. As if in Zhishu’s heart, love would fade away with words.
The more he cared about, the faster he lost.

But eventually love would be lost.

Zhishu cried hard and got sleepy in the end. When he finally slept in
Wenxu’s arms, he seemed to smell the fragrance of jasmine fourteen years
ago.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
30

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 30: I Have No Desire for You at This Moment. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He had a long dream. He dreamed of the chalk powder all over the
air in the classroom, the boy waiting patiently for him to come home with
the schoolbag on one shoulder, the lonely flowers nurtured by his Grandpa
in the courtyard on the day of Grandpa's death, and himself, who stood in
the empty corridor of the hospital and wept hopelessly, with a pale face.

When the boy with the schoolbag on one shoulder grew up, Zhishu He
became the one who waited for the boy to come home. Flowers in the
garden withered, and Zhishu He vowed not to grow flowers anymore.
It was already dark outside when Zhishu woke up. He still felt giddy and
pushed open the bedroom door in a daze. There was no light in the living
room. Smoke filled the room. Wenxu Jiang stood by the window and
smoked. The cigarette flamed in the dark room, and the cigarette ends had
accumulated in the ashtray.

"I have urged you to quit smoking." Zhishu said in a husky voice.

Wenxu was stunned and subconsciously put out the cigarette, "I'm sorry."

Zhishu He turned on the light, "You smoke when you're upset."

"What's bothering you?" Zhishu sat on the platform with his forehead
against the window, looking far into the distance.

Wenxu smiled and bent down to touch the top of his hair, "Don't worry
about me. It's just work."

Zhishu did not say anything. He felt dizzy and blood dropped on the snow-
white blanket. When Zhishu stretched out his fingers in a trance to touch
the bloodstains, the blood flowed faster from his nose because he lowered
his head.

Wenxu Jiang was shocked and stretched out his arm to stop unstoppable
blood.
"What are you thinking about? Look up, come on! Look up!" Wenxu
was worried and squatted down to let Zhishu lie supine on his lap. Their
clothes and hands were sticky and covered with blood.

It took a long time to stop the bleeding. Wenxu Jiang held Zhishu in his
arms and went to the bathroom to clean Zhishu. He carefully adjusted the
water temperature for Zhishu.

"Why did you suddenly have a nosebleed?"

Zhishu frowned, his lips looked pale because of excessive loss of blood,
"The water is too dry."
"Winter in the north is dry and cold. I'll have someone buy a
humidifier for you tomorrow." Wenxu Jiang washed Zhishu's face. He
wanted to take a bath with Zhishu since their clothes were stained with
blood, but he was pushed away by Zhishu.

Zhishu used much of his strength to push Wenxu and clutched his own
collar tightly. His nails even turned blue because of force.

Wenxu was stunned, "What's wrong?" He was a little embarrassed with

grievance and felt puzzled, "Your clothes are dirty."

"I can clean by myself." Zhishu's eyes didn't fell on Wenxu Jiang and he
still looked resistant.

Jiang's face got gloomy and he said coldly, "You are so dirty, with the
smell of blood. I have no desire for you at this moment."

Zhishu knew that he had misunderstood, but he didn't know how to explain.
He could only watch Wenxu Jiang wash his hands without saying a word
and then leave the bathroom. Just after five minutes, with a slam Wenxu left
home.

Quite well. With so many obedient lovers outside, Wenxu Jiang didn't need
to keep his temper and take care of Zhishu here. Zhishu slowly took off his
clothes. His arms were covered with pinholes which looked terribly blue on
his body.

Zhishu embraced himself in the warm water of the bathtub, and suddenly he
was a little afraid. He felt it was time to make some sort of decision, such as
where he should end up. No matter where he died, it was troublesome
enough. If he died at home and nobody knew this for over ten days, he
would surely look awkward. It was not good to frighten Wenxu Jiang.

Zhishu suddenly laughed when he thought about it. He realized that the
process of a person's death was easy, but the difficult thing was aftermath of
death.
Hot water softened Zhishu's body, but he didn't stay in the water for a long
time. He wiped himself up while he still had some strength. He carefully
put on his thick pajamas and felt a little warm.

In the living room, the smell of smoke had not dissipated. The smell of Su
Cigarette was not unpleasant. But this smell made Zhishu painful.

When he felt the headache, he found that he had forgotten to take medicine
all day, so he forced himself to boil water and take the medicine. A handful
of pills would usually torture his stomach for a long time.

Zhishu lay on the sofa, waiting for the efficacy of pills. The kittens played
around him. Their paws made Zhishu feel itchy.
When he heard the key open the door, he thought it was a hallucination until
the man with a gloomy face stood in front of him.

"Stop playing with cats and wash your hands for dinner," Wenxu Jiang
still wore a long face, but he wandered outside and bought a meal.

"Stir-fried Pig's Liver can enrich your blood," Wenxu Jiang poured the
dishes into plates and said in a cold tone, but his expression was mild.

Zhishu sat at the dining table, with his mind wandering. He thought of
Wenxu Jiang who really would not be indifferent to him for such a trifle in
the old days.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
31

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 31: I Like You Very Much, Zhishu! 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang seemed to stop playing around. In Zhishu’s eyes, at least

Wenxu Jiang knew to go home; he went to work on time and came back
home no matter how late it was.

Zhishu’s illness situation was the same as before. It was not good, but it did
not deteriorate. It was not until he went to the hospital several times that he
found that Dr. Ai had been avoiding him. Zhishu did not think much about
the change of his doctor in charge, since he thought Ziyu Ai was too busy.
However, Zhishu understood something until he saw Ziyu Ai come out of
the office but pretended he hadn’t seen Zhishu.

Zhishu didn’t understand the change of his attitude completely. In his

impression, Dr. Ai always took good care of him. The two people could be
regarded as friends, but why did Dr. Ai suddenly turn a cold shoulder to
Zhishu? Zhishu was not particularly sensitive to the sophistication of
human feelings, and this was very baffling.

Zhishu continued to come to the hospital for chemotherapy, which was the
third time that he had done, and there was no one being with him.

The process of treatment was extraordinarily long and painful so that later
in Zhishu’s memory, the winter was long and the wind seemed never to
stop; except the gray sky, all he could see was the snow-white walls of the
hospital.

It took him more than ten minutes to get up after the chemotherapy. He
walked against the wall and his pale face matched the snow-white wall. He
looked haggard and lonely with the skinny body.

The nausea caused by headache and the sequelae of chemotherapy blurred

his dull eyes. He couldn’t hold on anymore so he squatted down slowly and
waited to get through his dizziness. After a long time, Zhishu came to
himself and noticed there was someone in front of him. What leaped to the
eyes was a pair of pure deerskin shoes with soft soles, followed by straight
trousers, white coat and a very handsome face.
“Come to my office and rest for a while?” Ziyu Ai’s brown pupils were
gentle. There was a sense of inexplicable sadness in his eyes.

Zhishu bit his lip and wanted to stand up, but it was too hard. Ziyu Ai did
not help him with restraint as usual. He directly carried Zhishu into his
arms.

“Doctor!” Zhishu was shocked and gave a short cry.

Ziyu Ai did not wrinkle his brow but marched forward. He might feel
Zhishu’s embarrassment and shouted twice, “Emergency!” The look in
eyes of the patients around changed from doubt to understanding.

The layout of the lounge remained unchanged, but the quilts that had not
been sunned recently were a little damp.

“Thank you, doctor,” Zhishu hadn't calmed down, and there was some
redness brought by hypoxia on his face.

Ziyu Ai lowered his head and didn’t talky after he put Zhishu on the bed.
For a moment, the air was silent to freeze.

Zhishu pressed his lips and gently pulled the doctor’s sleeve twice,
“What’s wrong?”

The doctor looked up abruptly and hugged Zhishu tightly, “... I’m sorry...
I’m sorry... I’m sorry...”

Ziyu Ai’s eyes turned red, and the moment he looked up, Zhishu saw his
sadness which was so strong that it almost could drown himself.

“What’s wrong?” Zhishu’s shoulders relaxed after a sudden stiffness. He

patted the doctor on the shoulder in a comforting way, “What’s wrong
with you?”

“Bone marrow... Bone marrow...” Ziyu’s voice choked, “I found one

matching with you! That should be yours. But mayor’s son is also in
urgent need for it so it was taken away after detection...”

Zhishu stunned and then laughed, “Just for this? It doesn’t matter. I
thought what happened to you.” Zhishu’s voice was very gentle. He was
the person who should feel sad, but he comforted Ziyu Ai, “Proper bone
marrow can be found again. The mayor’s son must be more precious
than me, so its a matter of course that he gets it.”

“That’s not for him. The mayor's son took it for his sick lover.”

“It’s not for himself that he uses power. Having affection and faith, this
person is not bad,” Zhishu even tried to amuse Ziyu Ai. He knew how
difficult it was to find the right bone marrow, and this miss basically
sentenced him to death. But that might be his fate.

“No, I’ll beg my brother to find some way out... There must be a way,
Zhishu.”

Zhishu felt extremely sorry and sad when seeing others worry about him.
Finally tears welled up in his eyes, “Doctor... Doctor Ai, it doesn’t matter.
I’m one of your patients. It’s inevitable that I can’t be cured. It’s not an
accident.”

Ziyu Ai got up and stooped to Zhishu. There was something glittering in his
eyes, “I don’t want to just treat you as a patient...”

Before Zhishu said anything, Ziyu Ai came up, caught his shoulders, and
then kissed him on the lips with a restrained feeling of failure, “I like you
very much, Zhishu! I want to control my feelings and I try to avoid
you, but I really can’t suppress my love. I’m really scared.”
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
32

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 32: Who Was the Winner in Love? 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu’s eyes widened in surprise. He was so shocked that he did not even
struggle at the first time. He came to himself and bit Ai hard when he felt
that Ai’s tongue was trying to enter his mouth.

Ziyu Ai let go of Zhishu. The blood in his mouth made him sober. He
wanted to apologize to Zhishu, or give him a comforting hug like a friend.
But he could only see the paler face with disgust and distrustful look of
Zhishu.
“Zhishu...” Ziyu Ai carefully called the name of Zhishu, trying to reach out
and touch the back of his hand. But he flung Ai’s hand away and then
slapped Ai hard across the face in next moment.

Zhishu pushed Ziyu Ai away and got out of the bed without saying a word.
He saw nothing but that door.

Ziyu Ai grabbed Zhishu’s wrist and said, “It’s my fault. You’re not in
good health. Have a rest for a while and then go back, okay?”

Zhishu clenched his teeth and tried hard to pull his wrist out of the doctor’s
hand. Ziyu Ai was afraid of hurting Zhishu and could only let Zhishu go.
He was really impulsive today like a devil. His body was not controlled by
his brain.

“Zhishu, Zhishu...” Ziyu Ai could only follow Zhishu out of the lounge
since he couldn’t stop Zhishu and went through the corridor, “I really like
you. Do you really dislike me so much?”

Zhishu suddenly stopped. He looked back at Ziyu Ai for a long time before
he looked away. His voice was gentle and soft as before, “I just don’t want
to see you go astray. You’re good. But I can’t hurt you.”

However, Ziyu didn’t care about the rejection and alienation of Zhishu. He
realized that Zhishu forgot to take his coat in his hurry. The sick people had
poor immunity and were afraid of cold. Zhishu’s illness was especially
severe. Getting cold meant a fever to him often.

Ziyu even took off his white coat in a hurry. He wrapped his clothes around
Zhishu. His voice was almost imploring, “Stop talking. I won’t force you.
It’s too cold. I’ll drive you home early. You can refuse me after getting
on the car, okay?”

Zhishu’s heart ached violently. At this moment, he suddenly felt some

grievance for Ziyu Ai. The young and rich doctor was self-restrained at
first, but now his eyes would easily run over with tears and he even pleaded
for Zhishu’s opinion with such humble words, asking Zhishu whether he
could do it or not, whether he was not good, and whether Zhishu disliked
him. How could Dr. Ai, so good a person, fall in love with Zhishu He?
Zhishu He just could not believe it, since he always regarded Ai as a close
friend. Even now, Zhishu was reluctant to embarrass Ziyu Ai.

When Doctor Ai felt Zhishu stopped struggling, he tentatively held the cold
hand of Zhishu. Ziyu’s hands were dry and warm. He couldn’t help giving
Zhishu a little warmth. He took the cold hand of Zhishu and finally changed
from a tight grip to fingers crossed.

When Zhishu got on the car, he tore off Ai’s white coat. But he didn’t throw
it aside. He just hesitated for a moment and folded it neatly.

Ziyu Ai seldom felt his mood fluctuated upon someone’s behavior. He was
still heartbroken in the last second. But he tasted a hint of sweetness in the
pain at this moment.

He turned up the temperature of the air conditioner and slowed down the
car.

“I’m sorry,” finally, Ziyu Ai broke the silence first. “I think it’s right to
like someone. I’m wrong to kiss you without your consent.”

Zhishu turned the silver ring on his right ring finger and rubbed it over and
over again.

“It’s my fault. I enjoyed your tenderness and warmth, but there’s no

way to repay your help. No matter what thoughts you hold on me, it’s
true that you’re kind to me.”

“I’m not doing this so you can repay me,” Ziyu Ai felt insulted.

Zhishu He knew it clearly, and he laughed, “Not just like that.”

The car was parked at the gate. Zhishu got off and knocked on the window
of the driver’s seat. When the window fell down, Zhishu smiled weakly and
said, “You see, if I don’t have this weak body and bad look, it would be
nothing to make you comfortable by it.”
Ziyu’s face turned pale for a moment, and even his mouth lost its color, “I
never knew that you could be so cruel.” These words cut Ziyu’s heart like
knives, though there was no blood.

Zhishu worn the flimsy clothes in the wind. His beautiful eyes made the
whole winter look gorgeous. He waved, turned around, and soon
disappeared in Ziyu’s sight.

It was not definite who fell in love first would lose. Wenxu Jiang won
finally.

But if one fell in love with the person who was doomed not to love back, he
would surely lose like Ziyu Ai.

When Zhishu He opened the door and entered the room, his hands were
frozen and somewhat stiff. As blowing on his fingers to warm them, he
changed his shoes and saw the 16-hole Italian leather shoes that Wenxu
Jiang wore in the morning. Only then he did realize that there was someone
at home.

Wenxu Jiang was very busy. He left early and returned late. During the
daytime, he had no time to care about Zhishu He. Neither of them bothered
the other. Wenxu Jiang was busy with his career. Zhishu He went to the
hospital by himself. Their time was well planned. Zhishu glanced at his
watch. It was just over five o’clock in the afternoon. He really didn’t expect
Wenxu Jiang would come back so early.

Wenxu Jiang heard the sound of opening the door. Just after Zhishu walked
a few steps to the room, the door of the study room was opened. Wenxu
Jiang still held a financial statement in English with a pair of low-degree
gold rimmed glasses on his nose. Wenxu’s voice was gentle, “Tell me what
you did today.”

Zhishu He felt a cold shiver for no reason.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
33

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 33: Trouble Caused by a Scarf. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang didn’t show any expression. He looked at Zhishu as if he was

reading a contract. Jiang’s expression was cold and rational. At least, it
seemed rational for now.

“Where’s your coat?” Wenxu Jiang scanned the whole body of Zhishu and
took off his glasses. He had only a very low degree of myopia. He would
wear them for a while only when he studied important contracts for
negotiation.
Zhishu felt that he might be too cold, even his reaction slowed down. He
smiled at Wenxu Jiang and said in a weak voice, “Didn’t you have
dinner?”

Wenxu Jiang’s expression changed in an instant, and a stack of documents

were directly smashed on Zhishu He. The documents had not yet been
stapled, and the papers were sweeping all over him. It was not painful, but
the sadness fell on the heart of Zhishu He.

Wenxu Jiang was in a good mood today. After working on a bidding project
for a long time, he finally got in touch with Mayor Li’s precious son. That
guy was very affectionate towards his lover who got fatal illness and had
been in the blues. Recently, it was said that he gained the suitable marrow,
so he was happy and easily gave the benefits to Wenxu Jiang. Now there
was just rounding-off work. Wenxu Jiang also knew that he had been
indifferent to Zhishu for a long time. He came home early and wanted to
accompany Zhishu. But Zhishu wasn’t at home.

As a matter of fact, Wenxu Jiang didn’t get angry for that. Jiang thought
that it was normal for Zhishu to go out and buy some vegetables or daily
necessities. He waited patiently for a long time. When people were bored,
they liked to think about something or do something. Wenxu Jiang didn’t
want to work at home. Suddenly, he remembered the scarf Zhishu bought
for him last year. On New Year’s Day, he wanted to take Zhishu to see ice
sculptures in Harbin. Wearing this scarf was also an implicit attitude of
showing his love to Zhishu.

The trouble came from a scarf.

When Wenxu Jiang found a neat classic Burberry scarf folded in the paper
bag, he thought about when he had such a scarf for a long time. He always
cared about his own things. He was sure that the scarf was not his. Whose
scarf was that? Zhishu He was absolutely reluctant to buy such an
expensive scarf for himself. Was that a gift from Zhishu? But the label was
removed and it looked like it had been worn.

Wenxu Jiang smelled a cold fragrance and the disinfectant from hospital
when he just approached the scarf. Suddenly, he recalled the doctor who
drove the Ferrari and sent Zhishu a potted orchid worth 2 million yuan.

That was a serious thing. Wenxu Jiang was so possessive of his spouse. He
seldom showed this possessiveness because Zhishu was gentle and meek
and barely went out. Jiang Wenxu wondered what Zhishu did in the place
he didn’t see. Couldn’t Zhishu stand loneliness? Were there more other
things from another man besides the scarf in their house? What did they do
in his home in countless nights when he didn’t come back? Were they
entangled with each other on the bed?
The more Wenxu Jiang thought, the more disgusted he felt. Imagination
was sometimes a very harmful thing. Wenxu Jiang let his imagination fly
and waited for Zhishu the whole afternoon.

What kind of purchase could cost whole afternoon? Zhishu must be on a

date.

Before Wenxu Jiang had time to think more, Zhishu He came back.

“Are you fucking good at it, Zhishu He? I don’t know that you can
seduce men with the same reactions as a dead fish in bed?” Wenxu Jiang
squinted at Zhishu with a sneer. That kind of look in his eyes hurt Zhishu
very much.

Zhishu dropped his eyes and knelt down slowly to help Wenxu Jiang gather
the documents one by one. He didn’t want to talk to a man who was
unreasonable. Although Wenxu Jiang’s words hurt Zhishu more than the
cold north wind blowing outside.

But his attitude annoyed Wenxu Jiang. Wenxu Jiang could not bear Zhishu’s
silence and he felt it was acquiescence.

Wenxu Jiang was thoroughly annoyed. The more silent Zhishu was, the
more disgusted he felt. He went up and kicked Zhishu, who was still half
kneeling, on the shoulder.

Zhishu did not expect Wenxu Jiang would kick him all of a sudden. He
could only feel a pain on his shoulder, and then with that strength, he hit a
sharp corner of the tea table behind him.
After the bone marrow aspiration, the waist of Zhishu was not good. He
huddled and could not stretch because of the sudden pain caused by the
collision.

“I’m asking you where you went,” Wenxu Jiang turned a blind eye to
Zhishu’s pain, and questioned Zhishu in a cold voice.

“Hospital,” Zhishu looked up at Wenxu Jiang, with a pale face and deep
hurt in his eyes.

“Did you leave your clothes in the hospital?” Wenxu hooked his lips and
bent down to pinch Zhishu’s chin. “Yes,” Zhishu didn’t explain. That was
the fact. He didn’t know the imagination of Wenxu Jiang.

Wenxu frowned slowly. He loosened his pinch on the chin of Zhishu. His
eyes were full of disgust like he was a little girl who had heard dirty jokes
for the first time. He commented with surprise in a malicious tone, “Why
are you so slutty?”

“Where do you feel better when fucking with the doctor? Ward?
Lounge? Or my bed?”

Zhishu He suddenly raised his head. It was unbelievable. The man who he
spent most of his life loving with all his heart and soul insulted him with
such vicious words!

Zhishu struggled to stand up, and tried hard to keep the balance, “Wenxu
Jiang!”

He also wondered how he could pronounce Wenxu Jiang’s name so loudly

though he was as weak as water at this moment.

“How could you say that to me? Are you sure you’re clean enough?
How can you play around outside and judge me like a decent man?!
You think I don’t know what you’ve done? You really treat me as a
fool, don’t you? You are totally a jerk!”

Zhishu was interrupted by a loud slap across his face.

Wenxu Jiang was so angry that he didn’t think about if he was wrong with
his double-standard; he just wondered if Zhishu really slept with another
man. Zhishu was his love since he was a teenager and he even didn’t want
to show Zhishu to anybody.

The slap made Zhishu’s mind muddled and his ears buzzing. Wenxu Jiang
came up and grabbed the wrist of Zhishu to drag him to the bedroom. He
was not Doctor Ai who was unwilling to compel or hurt Zhishu. Wenxu
Jiang was so vigorous that he pinched the wrists of Zhishu to blue.

“I just have to join in the spirit of the occasion. What you’ve done in
home? Don't you have a choice? Why are you keeping a dubious
relationship with that man? Uh huh? Or you just need someone to fuck
you!?”

The scarf which caused this trouble was thrown on the bed. The mattress
and sheet of that bed were thrown all over the ground because Wenxu Jiang
felt they were dirty and disgusting.

Zhishu noticed the scarf and remembered that the day Doctor Ai drove him
home, Ai wrapped it around his neck. He folded it up, but forgot to return it
when going to the hospital.

“Whose scarf?” Wenxu Jiang pointed at the scarf.

Zhishu laughed sadly, “A doctor’s.”

“Your clothes are left in the doctor’s place, and the doctor’s scarf is in
my house. Can you two not be so shameless?”

Zhishu wanted to slap Wenxu across the face and make him stop talking in
a voice dripping with sarcasm, but anger choked his words.

Zhishu was pressed on the bed by Wenxu Jiang. His back was hurt by the
bed board, which was cold and rough.

“I hate you,” Zhishu didn’t resist Wenxu Jiang’s actions. Even his tone was
quiet and flat. But the three words made Wenxu Jiang shiver.
That momentary panic was followed by more violent anger. Wenxu Jiang
used the scarf to tie the wrists of Zhishu tightly, “You’re really bold
enough now. You dare say anything, right? You’re short of men, right?
Believe me, I can keep you from being touched by others!”

The smell of disinfectant on the scarf lingered in Zhishu’s nose. He was

very distracted at an inopportune time. It was the same smell when Doctor
Ai came up and hugged him. The doctor was so cautious and frightened; he
probably liked Zhishu so much that he couldn’t do any violence to Zhishu.

What about Wenxu Jiang?

Their clothes were not completely taken off. Wenxu Jiang just undid the zip
of his trousers.

“Bastard,” Wenxu Jiang was rude without any pity, “I shouldn’t... leave
you at home!”

Zhishu shivered beneath Wenxu Jiang as if he was stabbed deeper by a

knife. Wenxu Jiang did not lubricate him but used fingers soaked in saliva
for his insertion.

Wenshu He never felt so painful. It was almost when Wenxu Jiang just sent
his baby-maker in, Zhishu was torn and bleeding.
Zhishu gritted his teeth and could not help moaning bitterly. Then he began
to bite his lips, tongue, and the soft inner wall of his mouth.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
34

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 34: Wenxu Jiang, Tell Me How Long I Can Live Without
Love. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: PrinceofMidnight07

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

The consciousness of Zhishu He was intermittent, and in the most painful

time he was in a trance, thinking that he was dying. He couldn’t even cry in
pain, with cold sweat on his forehead.

In fact, Wenxu Jiang was also uncomfortable in this process. He was painful
in the dry and narrow place. He just wanted to bully Zhishu and make him
more uncomfortable.
“Do you admit your fault?”

In the end, Zhishu heard this sentence. He slowly rolled over his tightened
body with his gaunt chin resting on his knee. He did not speak, feeling that
the residual heat gradually left his body with Wenxu Jiang’s movements.

“What’s wrong with me?” Zhishu was thinking and his eyes were dim,
and nothing could be reflected in it.

“Speaking,” Wenxu frowned and bent down to force Zhishu to face him.
He thought he had made a concession, but he was still totally ignored, “Do
you feel not enough so you just lie there and wait for me?” Zhishu’s face
turned with Jiang’ strength. He could barely focus his eyes. Zhishu’s pupils
were big and black, but there was no pure affection in his eyes anymore.
The dark shadow of Wenxu Jiang was in Zhishu’s eyes which were full of
overwhelming despair and sadness.

Wenxu Jiang’s heart suddenly shivered in pain. He raised his hand to touch
the eyelashes of Zhishu, trying to confirm that the heartbreak he saw was
just an illusion.

But as soon as he raised his hand, Zhishu totally huddled himself up. His
face was covered with a red handprint. Suddenly, Zhishu coughed. His pale
face showed his extreme pain. Then he coughed up dark red blood.

Wenxu Jiang’s face changed and his pupils suddenly contracted. He bent
down to hold Zhishu, as his fingers trembled, “What’s wrong? What’s
wrong? Let me... Let me check quickly...”

Zhishu trembled more and more severely, and when he opened his mouth,
blood slid down his lips. He grabbed Wenxu Jiang and his fingers whitened
in pain, “Cold.”

Wenxu Jiang caught the sheet in a flurry and wrapped it around Zhishu. He
turned over Zhishu and held Zhishu in his arms, but he touched much cold
and sticky liquid under Zhishu. Wenxu Jiang was completely panic-striken.
The tearing wound in Zhishu’s intestine was still bleeding.
“It’s alright... You will be fine. Let’s go to the hospital right away. It’s
all right,” Wenxu Jiang comforted not only Zhishu, but also himself. It was
too rare for Wenxu Jiang to speak in such a panic tone. He was always like
a strategist, calm and elegant.

“I’m not going to the hospital,” Zhishu said in a flat tone, but his voice
was a little muffled. His mind was clear, so he repeated, “I will not go to
the hospital.”

Wenxu Jiang stepped back. He quickly flipped through his address book
and dialed a number, “Jingwen? Get the medicine box and come to my
house now!”

After hanging up, Wenxu Jiang hugged Zhishu tightly in his arms, “It’s all
right. Jingwen will be right here. Are you tired? Sleep in my arms for a
while.”

“Wenxu Jiang,” Zhishu’s voice was very husky and not so clear, but
peaceful without complaint or affection.

Zhishu did not wait for Wenxu’s response. He laughed softly, “I still miss
our high school and hope to reexperience those days again. At that
time, Wenxu Jiang was outstanding and liked by everyone. But he only
liked me. He has a bad temper and was impatient with everything, but
he was willing to accompany me patiently. If someone mocked me, he
would wave a stool to teach them how to talk politely. When he received
an award on the stage, he would give his first gaze at me.”

Zhishu smiled reminiscently, but tears coursed down his face

unconsciously, “When Wenxu Jiang was seventeen years old, he said
that he liked me, so I decided to be with him. I believed he must love
me and would take good care of me. When I was nineteen years old, I
abandoned my family and future for him. I was not afraid of suffering
as long as I was with him. At the age of 23, my parents came to Beijing
to look for me and had a car accident. I had nothing left but him. At
that time, I thought that as long as he gave me a home, I would not
leave him anyway.”
The wetness on Zhishu's face was covered with tears. Zhishu stared at the
air and tried to suppress his choke firmly in his throat, “He was very kind
to me and worked hard to make money. When he was young, he was so
arrogant and rebellious, but he learned to cater to clients on the feasts,
to toast, to drive the door for bosses... I know that he did all this for me,
otherwise he would not break a hand of a big client who only said some
dirty words to me. At that time, he not only lost the order, but was
detained for a few days.”

Zhishu laughed in a gentle and bitter way when he said these things. His
words were full of the uncontrollable affection.

“But I don’t know why the guy changed,” Zhishu coughed again. His
mouth ached badly and was filled with the smell of blood.

“He scarcely goes home, and barely call me. Sometimes he went home
drunk at night, and the clothes were stained with perfume. I don’t
know what to do. I lived more carefully than a girl. I’ve been
wondering why he doesn’t like me anymore. It’s because I’m not as
pretty as I used to be. Or the meals I just learnt to cook were not as
good as those outside. Or he just likes new tips of the young in bed.”

“It’s ridiculous. In the two years, I even watched GV with a serious

attitude of attending high school classes, just trying to please him. But
in the end, it’s useless. I don’t think I can learn how to tie a man’s heart
with my body in my life. It’s not bad to stop crying or begging for
mercy. How can I satisfy him on bed?”

“I’m so useless. He’s still afraid I’ll go out to seduce somebody else.
How is it possible? I have exhausted all my heart for him all this life...
If I do that, I will really be a fool.”

Wenxu Jiang hugged Zhishu fiercely and his voice was full of sadness.
“Please stop... Don’t talk about it. Don’t... It’s my fault, my dear. It’s all
my fault,” Wenxu Jiang’s voice was choked, his heart ached and he felt he
was suffocating.
Zhishu’s slender eyebrows furrowed, and he seemed to have not heard
Wenxu Jiang’s words. His voice dropped and mixed with sobs in his throat,
“When I went to school, I didn’t dare to learn to ride a bike, and it
would ache for half a day if there is an abrasion of the skin on my leg...
In high school, a recitation mistake led to a hit on hand on Chinese
class. I was the only one in the whole class who was never beaten by our
teacher. I was afraid of pain. Though our teacher just symbolically hit
the palms of students a few times when most of our classmates slacked
off in recitation... He knows it. Knowing that I am most afraid of pain,
but he still slapped me across the face mercilessly. I knew at that
moment that he did not love me anymore.”

“I'm wrong... Baby, I love you most. Stop talking, wait till you recover
your health and hit me back... I’m really wrong.” Wenxu Jiang became
more and more nervous, as his heart trembled with fear and pain. He could
clearly feel that once something was said, it would be impossible to go back
to the past.

Zhishu listened quietly to Wenxu Jiang and did not respond to him as if he
had heard nothing, “For others, the relationship might be easily cut off.
But for me, you’re my only love in the 14 years and the only one I rely
on. I’ve tasted all sweetness and pain engraved on my heart.”

Zhishu pulled Wenxu Jiang’s clothes. He looked up at the man’s deep eyes
and smiled gently, “So the first time you hit me, I wouldn't go. When
you were drunk and called me Zui Shen, I wouldn’t go. When you were
in France with your lover and fooled me, I wouldn't go. When you
suspected that I have an affair with another guy and raped me, I
wouldn’t go. But Wenxu Jiang, tell me how long I can live without
love...”

Wenxu Jiang’s body quivered. Something was out of his control.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
35

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 35: The Most Uncontrollable Thing in the World. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

The most uncontrollable thing in the world was human heart, since it
changed imperceptibly.

Wenxu Jiang was seized with remorse for his own behavior. He calmed
down and blamed himself for hitting Zhishu He, who was the man he
wished to protect with his life. He also blamed himself for having lovers
outside even though he knew that no one would be better than Zhishu He.
When it came to the problem, it doomed to become a deep scar in their
hearts.

Wenxu Jiang knew that he needed to explain something, but at this point, he
lost his ability to talk sweet words to Zhishu He and also couldn't show his
fierce character in business. He could only hold Zhishu He tightly in his
arms, pretending Zhishu He was not hurt and would never leave him.

Zhishu He consumed too much physical energy. Now he was in a light

sleep. He seemed to still feel cold, nestling against Wenxu Jiang's chest
quietly.

Wenxu Jiang stretched out his finger and gently outlined the soft face of
Zhishu He. His eyes were deep. He knew Zhishu He gave deep love and
much tolerance to him. This time Zhishu must feel very wronged, which
made him so resolute in the idea of leaving Jiang.

"Don't be angry. I'll change myself. I can give up everything except

you," Wenxu Jiang's tone was very gentle. He was afraid of waking Zhishu
He, "You can do whatever you want when waking up, but just don't
leave me..."

Wenxu Jiang thought much with Zhishu He in his arms. He was so worried
and panicked. It seemed that the last thing he wanted to face was about to
happen. The subconscious anxiety tortured him. A sense of oppression hit
his heart and he was like a herbivore which faced unknown hunters and
apprehended danger in every sound.

Finally, the doorbell rang.

Wenxu Jiang gently put Zhishu He on the bed and tucked the sheet around
him before opening the door.

"Why are you so late?" Wenxu Jiang opened the door.

Jingwen Zhang, sweating on his forehead, entered the house with a

medicine box, "Today is Saturday. Private doctors are not working so I
came from the bar. I should tell you first, my consultation fee is double
today."

Jingwen Zhang and Wenxu Jiang were very familiar with each other, and
they had friendship for seven or eight years. Otherwise, nobody was able to
invite Jingwen Zhang with a bad temper.

"Cut the crap. I've got an emergency," Wenxu Jiang didn't want to chat
with him at this moment.

Jingwen Zhang took off his coat slowly and asked carelessly, "So what's
wrong with you? I don't deal with a headache or a cold. I can't handle
incurable diseases. Dealing with trauma might my major." Jingwen's
clinic usually served gangsters, so he had managed a lot of bloody traumas.

Wenxu's face was even more gloomy, "It's not me. Go into the bedroom
and check Zhishu."

Jingwen withdraw the casual manner and asked, "What happened to your
little spouse?"

He pushed open the bedroom door and walked in. The room was messy and
there was almost nowhere for Jingwen Zhang to stand. Zhishu He was lying
on the bed.

Wenxu Jiang went straight over, held Zhishu He in his arms, and then said
to Jingwen Zhang, "Come here."

"What have you done, Wenxu Jiang?" Jingwen Zhang hurried over and
touched the forehead of Zhishu He, "He's having a fever."

Jingwen Zhang hissed softly after turning and seeing the face of Zhishu He.
He looked up at Wenxu Jiang abruptly with shock in his eyes, "You did
it?"

Wenxu Jiang only concentrated his attention on Zhishu He, and he saw
Zhishu He wrinkle his eyebrows because of Zhang's touch. Although his
eyelids trembled badly because of uneasiness, he was too tired to open
them. Jiang exhorted, "Be gentle." Jingwen Zhang didn't want to wake
Zhishu He up either, so he stopped questioning.

"He coughed a lot of blood," Wenxu Jiang told Jingwen Zhang in a flat
tone, and concealed the pain in his eyes perfectly.

Jingwen Zhang gently pinched open the mouth of Zhishu He. Through the
oral lamp, he found many tiny wounds caused by bites. The most serious
one was on the bleeding tongue. Jingwen Zhang breathed a sigh of relief
because it was not an internal injury, but these wounds would affect
Zhishu's recent eating and speaking. Suddenly he thought of something. He
put on a long face, looked up at Wenxu Jiang and asked, "Did you bite
him?"

Wenxu Jiang did not deny it. Though he did not bite Zhishu He, Zhishu's
wounds had something to do with him after all.

Jingwen Xhang met resistance when he tried to undress Zhishu He, who
was sleeping but struggling unconsciously with a tearful voice, "Don't do
that..."

Wenxu Jiang quickly hugged Zhishu and coaxed, "Dear, let Jingwen have
look." He feared that he had left bruises on Zhishu's body, which Jingwen
could help deal with.

"I'm cold... Don't do that..." Zhishu He shook his head and unconsciously
grasped Wenxu's sleeve.

Wenxu's heart softened directly. He pressed his lips and looked at Jingwen
Zhang, "His upper body is all right."

Jingwen Zhang immediately got the implied meaning of Wenxu's words.

When dealing with the wounds below, Jingwen Zhang was shocked
although he was accustomed to such scenes, "How did so much blood
come out?"
Zhishu woke up when Zhang handled the wound. Wenxu Jiang covered
Zhishu's eyes and murmured in his ear, "Don't be afraid. It's Jingwen
Zhang. You can sleep in my arms for a while. Take it easy. My dear..."

Zhang dealt with the torn wound below for a long time. Zhishu He was too
painful to lift his eyelids. Then Wenxu Jiang gently took him to the big bed
in the guest room to let him have a good rest and wiped the cold sweat from
Zhishu's forehead.

"Come out, Wenxu Jiang," Jingwen Zhang stood coldly at the bedroom
door.

Wenxu Jiang tucked the quilt around Zhishu before he went out.

"Why didn't I know you are a sadist before?" Jingwen Zhang finally
couldn't help shouting, "Don't you know that Zhishu He has blood
coagulation disorder? What the hell have you done? Do you want to
kill him? Has he offended you, so you tortured him like this?"

"I didn't mean it." It was very difficult for Wenxu Jiang to bow his head
to others except Zhishu when he was accused by his friends.

Jingwen Zhang sighed, "I know your affairs in these two years. I
thought you just want a little excitement occasionally. But I'm not sure
if you still love Zhishu He today. The last time I saw him was two years
ago, he wasn't so haggard and thin. How could you treat him so
badly?"

Wenxu Jiang pressed his temples and said hoarsely, "I can't let Zhishu go.
I'll break up with others quickly." After all, household affairs were
always too difficult for others to meddle in. Jingwen Zhang could only
expect Wenxu Jiang to be serious in his words. Then he changed the topic,
"Do you have antipyretics in your house? I didn't take it."

Wenxu Jiang was boiling the kettle, "In the study. You know the place."

As soon as Jingwen Zhang entered the study, he shivered inexplicably.

After he found the medicine, he looked around, trying to find what was
wrong.

When he came here before, there were many books in this room. Zhishu He
loved reading poetry collections and books. There were books in the
bookcase and the latest magazines on the desk. But now, there was nothing
but bottles and cans.

No matter how Jingwen Zhang ignored his duty, he was still a doctor. His
first intuition told him that harmless wishing bottles were absolutely filled
with medicines.

However, his major was not related to medicine. One wouldn't recall
someone's name when they were apart for a long time. Jingwen Zhang only
felt that the medicines were familiar, but he didn't remember what they
were.

"The water is ready. Have you found the medicine?" Hearing Jiang's
words, Jingwen Zhang came out of the study.

Those might be new calcium tablets or something similar. Jingwen Zhang

thought about this because he had recently seen a lot of bosses who kept fit
by eating all kinds of strange health care products every day.

He just needed some time to remember the names of these medicines.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
36

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 36: You Are the Only One I Want. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Jingwen Zhang was too busy to stay any longer. To drink in the bar was
only his excuse; all friends who were familiar with Zhang knew that he was
busy arranging his wedding.

"When your 'little spouse' feels better, take him to hospital for a
physical examination. He didn't look well," Jingwen Zhang said when he
was about to leave, but something suddenly occured to Zhang, so he asked,
"What kind of medicine do you take recently? What's in the glass
bottles in your study?"
Wenxu Jiang had no idea, so he shook his head, "They are not mine. I will
ask Zhishu when he wakes up."

Jingwen Zhang wanted to add something, but he was interrupted by a phone

call. Zhang waved at Jiang as he was answering the phone in an ingratiating
voice, walking quickly towards the door and saying, "I am coming home
right now... I said I was going to Wenxu's home... What did you say?
You want to eat crabs? Live ones? You want to steam them in person?
How can I get live ones in a winter midnight? ...Hello, don't be mad at
me, my dear wife..."

Wenxu Jiang silently closed the door behind Zhang, feeling that his house
was colder and more cheerless. Zhang was a playboy in the past, and he
was always proud, egoistic and cynical, always laughing at those friends
who got married one after another. No one expected that Zhang would one
day fall in love with a girl and became so docile to her. Zhang even
persuaded Wenxu Jinag to be serious for love and stop being a jerk.

Wenxu Jiang went back to the guest room and turned the air conditioner up.
Half-kneeling by the bed, Jiang carefully tucked Zhishu He in again,
affectionately looking at He who was sleeping with a few strands of unruly
hair on the face, so Jiang reached out his hand to tuck them behind He's ear.
Amazingly, his heart was full of unspeakable feelings, namely love that
Jiang was familiar with, uneasiness and fear. Wenxu Jiang neither expected
that Zhishu had known his affairs, nor believed that he would call other's
name while hugging Zhishu when he was drunk. Jiang realized that he was
such a cruel jerk. If Zhishu He was found to have a lover or two outside,
Jiang was sure that he would not bear it and even might kill them. However,
Zhishu He tolerated him and tolerated his affairs for so long.

"When I was drunk, I often called your name... Don't make up a story
to fool me just because you are angry..." Wenxu Jiang was tired from the
whole day's conflict, so he just lay down aside Zhishu He without taking off
clothes. Jiang held Zhishu He into his arms tightly, murmuring in a half-
asleep state, "I will break up with all of them... You are the only one I
want..."
Zhishu He had no idea of what time it was when he woke up in the
morning. The curtain was not fully drawn; through the window warm
sunshine was spreading over the bed. Sitting up in the bed, Zhishu He
squinted in the bright sunlight, feeling painful all over the body.

The door of the bedroom was closed but a gap was left. He was able to hear
morning news broadcasting in the living room and smell the sweetness of
millet congee from the kitchen. For a moment, Zhishu He was in a daze.

That was what Zhishu He had always expected: the weather was fine, not
rainy or windy; the sunshine was warm; and the man he loved was gentle
and kind enough to cook a meal for him.

The dark nights accounted for half of the year, and rainy days took up some
time, so there were few sunny days in a year. Though the man he loved
showed rare affection and tenderness, the harm he had suffered over the
past couldn't be undone once and for all.

As Zhishu He was thinking, he felt something furry touching his hands. He

looked down and there were the four kittens running around him. They had
really grown over these days.

It was the kittens that woke Wenxu Jiang up in the morning when Jiang felt
something soft and warm. Wenxu Jiang thought it was Zhishu, tried to kiss
He, but got a mouth of fur. Jiang suddenly woke in horror, breathless for a
moment, as if he just escaped from a monster. Jiang was enraged by the
sight of several downy creatures sleeping together with him. Without
Zhishu, Jiang would have thrown them out of window from 11th floor.
Wenxu Jiang kept calm for the sake of Zhishu He, moved over to kiss He on
the face, and then got out of bed to prepare for the breakfast.

"Woke up? Why didn't you call me?" Wenxu Jiang intended to wake He
up, in case that He would sleep too long and feel more uncomfortable.
However, Jiang, with a guilty conscience, was somehow timid to face
Zhishu He at this point.

Zhishu He had a sore throat for speaking too much yesterday when he was
hurt by Wenxu Jiang. He didn't want to say a single word now.
"Are you still aching in the mouth?" Wenxu Jiang noticed his pain, so
Jiang with a worried expression on the face hurried to his side, "Open your
mouth, and let me have a check. Jingwen left you some medicine
yesterday. Take some after the breakfast."

Zhishu He couldn't adjust himself to Jiang's sudden attention, so he just

shook his head. Last night, Jiang was like a despot raping him with no
mercy, and now Jiang was like a different man, gentle and considerate.
Zhishu He felt disappointed and tired of Jiang's changeable manner.
"Still mad at me?" Wenxu Jiang reached out his hand to stroke He's soft
hair, then held He's cheeks, and said in a soft voice, "Don't be angry with
me, okay? I was jealous, and I was afraid that you were fooled by
others. I was just too worried about you when I saw you come back
without the down jacket."

Wemxu Jiang did intend to apologize for what he did last night. He sat
beside Zhishu He after saying this, and even condescendingly reached out
to stroke the kitten in Zhishu He's arms.

Even though Zhishu He admired Jiang's eloquence, He was still not moved
by what Jiang just said, not in the least. What in hell would love become in
this world if jealousy meant dictatorship and possessiveness, and concern
meant rape? What Jiang could see in this winter was just a scarf taken to the
home and a missing down jacket. Jiang didn't notice that the man who loved
him was becoming thinner and weaker, and the heart that cared about him
was broken.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
37

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 37: Wenxu Jiang, You Were Crueler to Me. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Perhaps it was the indifferent look of Zhishu He that made Wenxu Jiang,
who wanted to apologize to Zhishu He and turn over a new leaf, depressed.
He remembered that it was easy to coax Zhishu who had a peaceful
character. Therefore, as long as Jiang could make an apology, everything
would be easy to be dealt with.

But this time, He was unusual.

It didn't mean that Zhishu He was too hysterical or fierce to be persuaded.
He even didn't complain or get angry although he suffered so much. But
what had changed? Zhishu He had no habitual smile at the sight of Wenxu
Jiang. His cheeks were so thin that dimples could not be seen completely,
and even his eyes were dark and sad.

"...I can't refuse some entertainment outside. Those years you went out
with out with me have shown that sometimes the money and sex are
inseparable. Even if you don't like it, you have to give respect to the
boss." Originally, Wenxu Jiang did not want to tell these things to Zhishu.
On the other hand, Jiang did not know where Zhishu heard about it and how
much he knew about it. So the more he said, the more mistakes he made.
Secondly, he indeed felt guilty. Before, they thought that Zhishu would
never know it. But now he felt uncomfortable when he told this matter to
the person he cared for.

"These two years, the business continues to be expanded. So I am

getting busier and busier. Sorry, I know you are aggrieved, but I have
no choice. The market is like the battlefield. If I don't strive for it at all
costs, I will be totally defeated. You know that I don't want you to feel
wronged. Although I am tired, it does not matter. I just hope that I
could take you abroad when I save enough money. As long as we can
get married, any place is fine. So you little fool will not think about
those strange things and get lost in various conjectures," Wenxu Jiang
held the shoulder of Zhishu He, and said, mixing the truth with falsehoods,
and then even felt a surge of love and desire for him. At last he could not
help thinking that these were indeed the thoughts in his youth, when he
tried to make every effort to give Zhishu He a bright future.

Wenxu Jiang could not help laughing. He was not that young now. When he
smiled sincerely, there were fine lines in the corners of his eyes, which
made him more restrained and gentler while the young men didn't have
such kind of charm usually.

At this point, Zhishu He felt upset unprecedentedly. When he went to the

hospital to accept physical examination and get the medical certificate, or
he was too painful to stand up after the chemotherapy, or he was alone at
home and had a fever for a whole day, which degree had his pain reached?
He didn't not know how to describe it, but he knew clearly that it couldn't
be summarized by the word "grievance". The "grievance" was only for one
who was deeply loved and could act as a spoiled child and complain to the
person who cared for him/her. And it was a blame full of affectionateness,
self-will and self-confidence. It was not for a pathetic guy like him, who
just had to get used to consoling himself.
There was no one caring for you, so did you have any qualifications to feel
wronged?

He didn't want to listen to Wenxu Jiang's sweet words full of lies. Wenxu
Jiang just wanted to get a peace of mind after he hurt others through
begging for forgiveness, hoping then Zhishu would be as gentle and
affectionate as before, while he would still be the man who couldn't refuse
the "invitations" from other bosses.

It was disgusting!

He tore himself from the arms of Jiang Wenxu, and then stood up, enduring
the pain.

"Zhishu, cut it out!" Jiang Wenxu held the wrist of Zhishu He.

Suddenly looking back, Zhishu He stared into Wenxu Jiang's eyes, as his
mouth was too painful to say anything. Cut it out? What did he do to make
this man fail to stand it anymore?

Wenxu Jiang was stung hard by the cold and sharp eyes of Zhishu He, but
he still did not let go of Zhishu and held his wrist, "Zhishu, I know I was
impulsive last night. You can hit or scold me, and I would like to say
anything you want to know. My dear, don't let me worried."

"I am so weak that it's hard for me to stand up now. How could I hit
you?" Zhishu He's voice was hoarse, hard enough to make his words clear.
"With such a tongue, I couldn't say words clearly. How could I scold
you? Tell me please."

Zhishu He could not help coughing again, looking paler. It didn't take too
much time before Wenxu Jiang let go of Zhishu, who then struggled to enter
the bathroom.

Wenxu Jiang rubbed the temples and said nothing. He just went to the
kitchen and reheated the porridge; then he went to the balcony and smoke
half a pack of cigarettes. Wenxu Jiang didn't know what he should do.
Zhishu was so angry for the first time. Maybe... he had stored the grief for
quite a long time.

People were always like this. Once things that he thought no one would
know were exposed, the indifference before would disappear. He would feel
worried and try to make it up, being angry with what he had done in the
past and feeling remorseful.

When Zhishu He came out of the bathroom, Wenxu Jiang had put out his
cigarette. The tall man walked into the kitchen silently to fill a bowl with
porridge for Zhishu, like a dog beaten and scolded by his owner for no
reason.

Zhishu He bowed his head and wanted to cry. So he told himself over and
over again that all of Jiang's sadness and regret were fake, so there was
nothing worth living here anymore. When he left, another person would live
here. But he still hated Wenxu Jiang. All things had been changed beyond
recognition, but Wenxu Jiang still tried to give him a ray of hope with the
face of the young man Zhishu had loved since more than a decade ago,
which hurt Zhishu so much especially when he thought of departure.

"Have it when it is a little colder, or your mouth will hurt more,"

Wenxu Jiang gently stirred the thick porridge in the bowl, which smelt very
delicious. "Well, I am still best at making porridge."

Naturally, there was no response. Wenxu Jiang answered himself with a

smile, "All right. Maybe it's because porridge is the easiest to make."

Wenxu Jiang wanted to feed Zhishu He, but Zhishu rejected. While, he
didn't care about it much, looking at Zhishu He, supporting his chin with his
hand.
The old man was really good-looking and charming, especially when he
looked at others with his affectionate eyes, which Zhishu He knew clearly,
so he didn't look up.

He didn't eat much. His mouth was so painful even with a little food. What
was more, he had no appetite. So he just had the porridge less than half a
bowl.

Wenxu Jiang worried about Zhishu, but did not advise him to eat more.
Then he stood up and hold the hand of Zhishu He, "I'll put some medicine
on you. It will be helpful."

Zhishu He had no spare strength to refuse a persistent man and was forced
to sit on the sofa.

Taking the medicine, Wenxu Jiang gentle pinched the cheek of Zhishu He,
and said in a gentle low voice, "My dear, open your mouth."
It was badly injured. Wenxu Jiang was distracted when Jingwen was
treating with the wounds last night. He was shocked when he had a careful
check of He's mouth today. There were more than a dozen wounds with
evaginable white skin in the red inner wall of the mouth, with deep bite
marks on the tongue. Did he try to bite the tongue to kill himself?

"You are so cruel to yourself," Wenxu Jiang frowned, spreading the

medicine as gently as possible.

Zhishu He felt the strange taste of medicine in his mouth, as if his heart also
felt that bitter taste. He thought- -

Wenxu Jiang, you were crueler to me.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
38

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 37: Break up with His Lover. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

After that day, the lifestyle of Zhishu He and Wenxu Jiang changed a lot.
Wenxu Jiang knew well he had gone too far and felt guilty, so he was
attentive to Zhishu He as compensations. Zhishu He, however, showed an
indifference which had never existed before. He was even more reluctant to
speak after his tongue was hurt, or to be embraced or kissed by Jiang.
Finally, He even moved to the guest room.

“What do you want on earth?” Seeing that Zhishu He was packing up as

if he planned to settle in the guest room from now on, Wenxu Jiang could
not help getting angry.

Zhishu He still remained silence and kept on packing.

“You haven’t spoken to me for days! I called Jingwen and he said you
should be fine now. If you had anything in mind, just tell me directly.
Don’t torture me endlessly!” The more Wenxu Jiang said, the more he felt
wronged, and at last he pulled off his apron and threw the spatula. “Why is
there so much trouble between two big men? You are so affectedly
unreasonable! When do you plan to stop giving me the cold shoulder?!
How come the elder you get, the more you act like a woman?”

Zhishu He stood there stunned for a moment. It took him a long while to
recover from the shock and sadness. He did not quite believe what he had
just heard.

It was not just women that were in the weak position, became more and
more forbearing and silent, and got more and more vulnerable.

“Wenxu Jiang, do you think I can’t live without you?” Zhishu He had
not spoken for a long time, so his voice was hoarse, unexpectedly, as if
every word choked with blood.

Wenxu Jiang stopped accusing and wiped his hands clean to fill the bowl
with rice. His tone, accordingly, turned into a gentle ingratiation, “Nope.
My Zhishu will always live to the ripe old age whatever happens.” He
just intended to force Zhishu He to say a few words to him. Anything was
ok, even name-calling would make him feel safe as if it could prove that he
still owned the love of this person.

Zhishu He’s eyes turned red in anger. For the first time in his life, he
became violent and out of control. “Fuck you! Wenxu Jiang! Do you
think I’m flirting with you? Do you think I am earning your attention
for suffering from neglect and injustice? Do you really think I can't live
without you? It’s just fourteen years, isn’t it? Just fourteen years...”

Wenxu Jiang was shocked by the sudden explosion of Zhishu’s rage. He

had not had time to think more, but instinctively felt that what happened
now was rare and inexplicable.

Zhishu He had been depressed for too long, and once his emotion was
released, he could not control himself. He smashed two vases with dry
branches of plum blossom in the living room. The ground was strewn with
the broken porcelain mixed with remains of flowers. Nothing in hand,
Zhishu He rushed into the kitchen. Wenxu Jiang did not have any reaction
until Zhishu He smashed the bowl in Jiang’s hand.

“Zhishu He! All right. Stop it now. Stop it okay? Come on. Stop it...”
Wenxu Jiang held Zhishu He firmly in his arms, and at that moment he was
really afraid that Zhishu He would rushed back into the kitchen to fetch a
kitchen knife.

Zhishu He could not manage to free himself from Jiang by violent

struggles, so he angrily bit Wenxu Jiang’s arm. Wenxu Jiang felt so painful
that he let Zhishu He go on conditioned reflex.

Zhishu He turned around, gave him a loud slap on the cheek and cried,
“Get out!”

Wenxu Jiang subconsciously wanted to slap and kick back, but

immediately, he realized that he should not do that. He dared not and was
unwilling to hit Zhishu He again.

This tall man lowered his head with pressed lips, went into the bedroom
like a stray dog with its tail between legs, to find a nook to avoid the fight.

However, Zhishu He did not want to endure anything anymore. He smashed

another bowl as if being afraid of losing momentum, pointed to the door,
and said, “Get out of here!”

Then Wenxu Jiang was driven away.

Zhishu He sat down prostrate on the ground, where inadvertently, several
bloody gashes were made in his hand by broken pieces of porcelain.

He was in a trance. Was it a success? It became true that the thing he once
imagined countless times as a joke- - he threw dishes at the man and drove
him out of the house ferociously.

Zhishu He chuckled, stood up, and had to clean up the mess by himself.

In fact, the debris in the room was almost like himself. The bluff was only
the crisp sound when the porcelain fell on the ground. Then it did not make
any sense. Clean it up and there would be a new vase in the same place on
the table tomorrow.

Zhishu He picked up the pieces with his hands, careless of the gashes. In
fact, when people were numb, nothing could hurt him. He fell into a trance
again and wondered, depending on Wenxu Jiang’s temperament, how long
he would stay away from home this time. It was possible for Jiang to leave
Zhishu He alone and let him run his own course.

Wenxu Jiang was so aggressive that if one of his lovers dared do what
Zhishu He did to him, he would think of some nasty ways to punish that
one. But it was Zhishu He, Jiang really had to think over it. In fact, in
earlier time, it was easy to deal with- - just cajoled him onto the bed to have
a punitive sex, and then coaxed that he just had to join in the fun on
occasion with people outside, and he would spend more time with Zhishu
He, the most lovely one in his own heart. But this time Wenxu Jiang was
really ashamed to do that.

Or maybe these days Jiang was really scared by Zhishu He.

Zhishu He was at home alone tonight. He found that it was actually better
and more convenient to stay alone. Wenxu Jiang, however, was not so
comfortable as He.
He got himself drunk in the bar. The barman had not known him for long,
so unexpectedly, he called Zui Shen.

So early in the morning, when Wenxu Jiang woke up from the headache and
dizziness for being drunk, he found Zui Shen lying prone naked in his arms.
It seemed that it was reasonable to Zui Shen.

Wenxu Jiang pushed away the one in his arms in boredom. He had never
slept with anyone else for a whole night except Zhishu He. Almost
instantly, Zui Shen woke up.

Wenxu Jiang was efficiency-oriented, so he broke up with Zui Shen by the

way.

“It’s better for you to go to the branch office to be a manager. Don’t be

around me. Take the house and the car. Go to Assistant Song to write a
check when you’re free. He knows it well and you won’t suffer losses.”
The tone was so calm as if nothing important had happened, without any
needless emotion.

Zui Shen raised himself up on one elbow, the red marks on his body after
one night’s passion seemed to be the proof of last night’s tenderness and
love. He was almost on the verge of tears, “What’s wrong with me? Tell
me and I can change for you!”

Wenxu Jiang got dressed with a cold face. He slept with his lover just after
he got kicked out of his house, so he was agitated, even with a subtle self-
loathing sense.

“Tell me! What did I do dissatisfies you? Wasn’t I obedient enough? I

never complain even though I haven't seen you for ten days or half a
month. You don’t like animals, so I abandoned the dog that I had
raised for ten years. I am not for money to be together with you. I...”

“Enough,” Wenxu Jiang frowned, and he had no patience with his lover, “I
will leave if there’s nothing else.”

“There should be a reason that you don’t want me anymore, right?”

Zui Shen gritted his teeth, with his face pale.

Wenxu Jiang buckled his watch, ready to go, and stopped when he heard
Zui Shen’s words, sneering, “A reason for breaking up with a lover? Do
you really think we’re in love?”

The pretty boy in the bed suddenly burst into tears, and shouted in a choked
voice, “You deceive me! There must be a reason! You held me in your
arms last night and called Zhishu He all night!”
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
39

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 39: An Uninvited Guest. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He woke up very early when it was still dark. Looking outside from
the window, there were still street lights and shop signs lightning. Zhishu
He had not slept well for a long time, especially recently, when he suffered
from habitual insomnia. So he often woke up after falling asleep. It was
even rare for him to sleep for three or four hours continuously.

Standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom and looking at the pale and
morbid person reflected on it, he asked lightly, “Have you ever lived a
happy life in your life?”
No one answered him. Then Zhishu He smiled and spat a sink of blood.

Zhishu He knew that his disease began to worsen. When he first saw the
internal bleeding under his eyelids through the mirror, he even felt sick of
looking in the mirror. But even though he did not look at himself, there
were more and more bruise marks on his body, most of which were on his
ribs under the armpit. At first glance, he really seemed to have suffered
domestic violence.

Sometimes, Zhishu He didn’t want to think much, but he couldn’t control

himself. He always told himself that it was normal for Wenxu Jiang to play
outside. So it was good enough for him to be willing to go home. ‘What
else do I want?’ But self-consolation had no use now. He became more and
more sensitive and out of control. The physical and mental torture let him
gradually lose himself who was ever gentle and cultured.

As things had developed to this point, Zhishu He told himself that it was
time to give up. After fourteen years, the two men lost the good side of
themselves after seeing too much of the reality. And the last bit of romance
between them were going to disappear in the completely shattering life. At
last, someone finally woke up and it was time to be over.

Giving up didn’t mean that he didn’t love Jiang anymore. It’s just that he
was too tired to love the person, so he should spare some respect for
himself. That’s it. Whether it was a secret crush or mutual gratification, if
there was still a glimmer of hope for them at last, he would never be willing
to give up.

The gauze on the finger was already soaked in blood. Luckily, the blood
had been stopped after the night. He changed a piece of clean gauze for
himself while thinking that he shouldn’t get himself injured again otherwise
it would be inconvenient to do anything like now.

He had no appetite, but his cats needed to be fed. These cats had been
spoiled so badly by Zhishu that they didn’t eat the packaged cat food. As
soon as they were hungry, they would pester Zhishu He like brats to ask for
freshly made food.
So he just had to make some food for these cats after taking the medicine.
Zhishu He was stunned and doubted whether he had been a wrong place
when he heard the doorbell. After a few more knocks at the door, he
realized that it was his home indeed.

He turned off the heat and opened the door, thinking it was the day that the
clerk of the property company came to check the water meter again. But he
didn’t expect that it was a strange boy standing outside the door.

This boy was really good-looking. He had delicate features, with white
skin, a pointed chin, and sentimental eyes. But his eyes were still red and
swollen. There was a thought flashing across his mind, but he didn’t catch
it.

“...Who are you looking for?”

“Are you Zhishu He? My name is Zui Shen. I’m coming here to see
you.” The vague shadow in the mind of Zhishu He finally appeared clearly.
And the idea he just had was that the appearance type of this boy was
Wenxu Jiang’s favorite.

Zhishu He never thought Jiang’s lover would take the initiative to come to
him. He didn’t know how to solve this kind of issue that happened between
two men. Normally, a hostess could kick up a row to catch adultery
aboveboard. While such a thing was difficult for him to deal with when
Jiang’s lover came to himself, whether it was humiliating or not. The dull
pain in his heart made him rather slower in reaction. He was truly afraid of
losing face, even though he had been laughed at by the other now.
“Let me in and have a seat, will you?” It was a melodious voice, which
was full of pure and young vigor, even the last sound.

Zhishu He leaned to one side slightly, unable to raise his head, because he
had been suppressed by the this boy's young radiance that he had already
lost long ago. “Well, come in.” He said.

In fact, Zui Shen had been sizing up Zhishu He too. He knew that this man
was irreplaceable for Wenxu Jiang. And he had also been curious about
Zhishu He. But he was warned by a few of Wenxu Jiang's friends who had
known Jiang for seven years or so that he must not mess with Zhishu He if
he wanted to stay a long time with Wenxu Jiang.

Later on, he heard that he looked like young Zhishu He, which he
remembered all the time. So he always thought that this man must be good-
looking. But today he was surprised when he saw Zhishu He.

This was a pale and haggard man, who couldn’t even be regarded to be
good-looking.

Zhishu He went to pour a cup of hot water for Zui Shen, “It’s a cold day.
Drink some water to warm yourself first.”

Zui Shen looked at Zhishu He with amazement. Zhishu He must know his
identity according to He’s reaction just now. It was quiet rare for normal
people not to be acrimonious toward a lover. However, he did not expect
that Zhishu He would let him enter the house for a cup of hot water.

Zui Shen was not a bad boy. He just wanted to stay with the man he loved.
But who didn’t?

“I’ve been with Brother Jiang for a long time,” Shen Zui looked at
Zhishu He with a trace of unexplainable imploration in his eyes. “Can you
leave him?”

Sitting aside, after a while Zhishu He realized that this boy was hoping he
could give up Wenxu Jiang. But the key was what he could do to help this
boy. He was not the man dominating this matter.

“You have to talk with him yourself. But according to his temperament,
you can’t keep him.” Zhishu said as if he was soothing himself, as well as
persuading Zui Shen.

Zui Shen kept silent. He seemed not at all to stir up trouble here as a lover
usually did. Instead, he was like a child falling in love with his father. So
Zhishu He was helpless while feeling hatred and angry.
Zhishu He could not stand such a silent situation. But he couldn’t kick Zui
Shen out by his nature. Then he asked by touching his own sore spot, “How
long have you been with him?”

“I’ve been with him since I haven’t graduated from the college. It has
been three years.” He answered, his tone full of self-satisfaction and pride,
as if it was a great thing that he could stay with Wenxu Jiang as long as for
three years.

Zhishu He did not feel more sorrow. He had prepared for this day. So he
only responded slowly, “Three years? Three years...”

“Let me think about it. On the third year we were together...” Zhishu
He pressed his lips slightly. He really hated this masochistic behavior to
recall the memory.

“The third year we were together is 2003, when SARS broke out.”
Zhishu He smiled, “Maybe you were just over ten years old, right? At
that time, it was lucky to be young. At least, the less you knew, thes less
panic you would be in.”

“That year Wenxu Jiang was not Boss Jiang, not even Mr. Jiang. He
was still young Jiang working in a small electronic technology
company. At the time of the full outbreak of SARS, Beijing was
completely blocked, when people realized that hospitals were absolutely
the last place on the earth to enter.”

“Hospitals in Beijing were so crowded that the isolated areas just had
one more tightly closed glass door than the general ward and infusion
was even performed in the courtyard. It was such a terrible period that
every day some people died. Most of them were patients and many
were medical staff. Even the Minister of Public Health was infected and
died after he made a visit.”

“I was in a hospital then,” Zhishu He said gently and calmly.

“My boss, his wife and child were all infected. He was very kind to me.
But he died firstly. I think I needed to take care of his families in the
hospital. And I had even thought of the content of my will in case
someday I also got infected. I just hoped that Wenxu Jiang would not
be sad but forget me. However, I didn’t expect that one night Wenxu
Jiang secretly crossed the isolation belt and dragged me home.”

Zhishu He said off and on, being afraid that he would be crushed by the
memory that had been forcedly sealed, “He was never angrier and never
less terrifying than that in my memory. He was going to hit me with his
hand up, but finally he slapped his own face hard. He said nothing but
kept crying. I had to pacify him. I said, “What has happened to you? I
haven’t bullied you!”

He said, “If you die, how can I live alone?”

“At last, my boss’ wife and daughter were dead soon, while I’m fine.
Later on, a lawyer came to tell me that my boss had given his company
to me.” Zhishu He smiled, “It is right the one Wenxu Jiang is running
now.”
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
40

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 40: The Feeling of Being Stricken with Grief. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

With the stubbornness on his beautiful face, Zui Shen was very firm as if he
was demonstrating he would never fall behind, “If it were me with him at
that time, I could have stood it too.”

Zhishu He’s fingers were shaking. Maybe. But who would know the result?
Zhishu He only knew that at that time Wenxu Jiang didn’t have many
entertainments or so many friends who would like to help Jiang at the loss
of their own lives or a lover who really loved him and was willing to bear
hardships together with this person.
So Zhishu He smiled with some cold sharpness in his voice, “Do you like
him? Why?”

“I love him very much,” Zui Shen said determinedly. “There is no reason
needed to love someone. Certainly, he is a perfect man in my mind.”

It was good to be young. When you said something childish but you didn’t
realize it, people only thought you were such a simple and pure person.

Zhishu He felt a little colder than before. As he touched his forehead, it

seemed that he had a worse fever, making him even hard to talk. “A man
like him... good-looking, knows how to take care of you gently and
speak many sweet words. No wonder you like him.”

Zhishu He began to feel that the chill on his body was seeping into his
heart, as if a slit was made on the barrier that had been blocking wind and
rain for him, with cold wind storming in fiercely now. “Right... If Wenxu
Jiang likes a person, he is reluctant to let this person feel wronged. He
will draw for you, pick flowers for you, and fight for you. And even in
bed, he will not want to see you cry.” Gradually, Zhishu He himself did
not even know what he was talking about. He felt so dizzy that he couldn’t
even discriminate his mood in a trance.

It was not clear whether he was sad or unreconciled, or he just wanted to

indulge in his own fantasy by deluding himself.

The door of the guest room was not tightly closed. Now it was opened a
crack by the cats who were already quite dissatisfied due to hunger. They
might have scratched at the door for a long time.

When Zui Shen saw these cats coming through the crack, he suddenly
turned as pale as Zhishu He.

Zhishu He came to his mind and asked after a short pause, “Are you afraid
of cats?”

“Does... doesn’t he hate animals the most?”

Zhishu He softly pushed away these cats that were rubbing against the
bottom of his trousers, and uttered in a light tone, “He is a man who can
be persuaded by soft approaches but not be cowed by force. So you just
need to coax him tenderly. He will give in after being unhappy for a few
days, without other choices.”

The tone of Zhishu He was so gentle that he did not seem to realize that he
was teaching another person how to win affection and care from the man he
liked.

But Zui Shen appeared to be more disappointed. In fact, when Zhishu He

began to talk about how good Jiang would be to the person he really liked,
Zui Shen knew that no matter how self-deceiving he was, he couldn’t
change the fact that Wenxu Jiang really didn’t love him.

Zui Shen thought that it was natural for a man to be fickle and indifferent,
that Wenxu Jiang just didn’t know how to love others and that all the hurtful
words Jiang had said were unintentional.

But he was wrong. Wenxu Jiang would not accompany him to do anything
couples did. Jiang had never coaxed Shen with sweet words, let alone drew
pictures and picked flowers for him. He was also wondering whether
Wenxu Jiang was really reluctant to make the man he loved cry in bed. All
Shen knew was that he was often hurt when he had sex with Wenxu Jiang at
first, and that man was fierce in bed showing no tenderness. At that time,
Shen often cried. When he was in severe pain, he would cry and beg Jiang,
which Wenxu Jiang never cared about. He only hated Zui Shen’s crying.
Sometimes he only threw a sentence disgustedly, “I’ll find anyone else if
you really can’t stand it.”

When his dog was forced to be discarded, Zui Shen begged Wenxu Jiang
for a whole week. Certainly, he had tried to persuade him in a coquettish
manner. And he was even willing to play SM so as to keep his dog although
Wenxu Jiang wasn’t skillful at it. As a result, Zui Shen almost died, and the
dog was given away.

Standing up from the sofa, Zui Shen thought to himself, ‘Why have you
done this? Do you come here to humiliate yourself? Now that Wenxu Jiang
keeps a man as fragile as the china at home and is reluctant to beat or hurt
him in sex, surely he isn’t worth my love.’

But Zui Shen could not reconcile himself to the fact somehow. Why
couldn’t he be comparable with this man in front of him? Was it just
because this man had suffered a lot with Wenxu Jiang? It was not that he
couldn’t do it, but he hadn’t been born earlier to have the chance.

Zui Shen began to laugh. His smile was as beautiful and clean as a garden
of jasmine, “Did you quarrel last night?”

“Eh, every time he gets angry, he will go to my place. He always has

this childish temperament,” Zui Shen complained helplessly, “I always
advise him not to be angry. But he said he could not let go of the old
lover. We are all men, so I absolutely understand that he has just
treated you as his family.”

Zui Shen slowly put on his coat and smiled, “But Wenxu Jiang is really
determined to make a break with the past. He simply threw the ring
which had been worn for ten years. Although it is not valuable, at least
it is the gift from someone who loves him so much, right? I’m kind of
softhearted to keep it for you. Well, how about bringing it to you next
time?”

Zhishu He felt so much pain in his heart that he couldn’t say a word. His
hands were cold, with his fingers, lips, and even his whole body trembling.
Zhishu He, who tried hard to bear the pain, pointed to the door and said
with his teeth gnashed, “Get out!” Zui Shen raised his eyebrows and
directly left without tangling with Zhishu He.

At the moment the door was closed, Zhishu He fell on his knees with a
bang. He pressed the back of his hands against his lips, but a large amount
of blood was weeping through his fingers.

‘Finally, I know the feeling of being stricken with a grief now. I’d die soon
and end all of this.’
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
41

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 41: Don’t Leave Me. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He fell on the ground, with his chest soaked with blood. After he
struggled with the suffocating pain, leaving the unprecedented quietness in
the room.

He stared at the unadorned ring on the third finger of his left hand. He had
worn the ring for more than a decade and rubbed it for ten million times,
which had been turned into a rope that firmly tied his heart.

But he did not know that his precious ring was just a cheap and rough thing
in other’s eyes. The cruel fact told him that his persistence in love was as
funny as a joke.

Zhishu He took off the ring slowly. As he had worn it for too long, it was
difficult and painful to do with it. But in the end, what the ring could leave
was only a white and shallow trace.

He threw the ring far away with his eyes closed, hearing nothing but a few
light sounds as the ring fell down and bounced under the sofa.

Zhishu He lay on the ground for a long time before getting up. Then he
washed his face, cleaned his clothes, and cooked for cats. He felt that he
might be really numb like a puppet, mending his broken heart again and
again with needle and thread. Between the happy years and the sad years,
he spent time like this. When Wenxu Jiang went home, Zhishu He was
reading in the living room, pretending that he didn’t know Wenxu Jiang’s
return. Well, he just smiled with a light satisfaction, slowly turning over the
pages.

“Little Shu.” Wenxu Jiang was attracted by that smile, and he called
Zhishu He with deep feelings which seemed to have been accumulated and
concealed for more than a decade.

“I’m back.” He finally came back like a kid tired of playing outside, being
afraid to be beaten.

Zhishu He put down the poems written by Jian Zhen and looked up at the
man who still stood in the entryway. Wenxu Jiang was holding a large
bundle of gypsophila paniculata, a pair of affectionate eyes staring at
Zhishu.

Zhishu He smiled, “Is it for me?” He stood up to pick up the flowers and
was kissed on the cheek by Wenxu Jiang. “Of course. The jasmine hasn’t
bloomed yet in the garden of Old Duan. I’ll pick it for you when it
blooms.”

Zhishu He did not answer. He took over the flowers, but he could not find a
vase to contain them. Later on, he remembered that the vase had been
broken before.
Wenxu Jiang thought Zhishu He so cute and funny when he stood there
foolishly while holding the flowers in his hand. Then, he begun to feel
slightly moved and painful seeing Zhishu at a loss.

“Just put it aside. I’ll make it into dry flowers for you, which is easy to
keep.” Wenxu Jiang looked at him with a smile and said, “You haven’t
had dinner, right? I have bought some ingredients.”

It was only 6pm. Zhishu He didn’t eat so early when he was alone. Even
most of the time, he didn’t eat anything. And the medicine was enough to
make him feel full.

Zhishu He stood behind the door of the kitchen and looked at Wenxu Jiang
cooking like a boy. He said from time to time: “Less salt... no vinegar...
don’t add coriander to the fish, you stupid!”

As a result, there was too much salt, vinegar, and even the coriander.

“It was your fault to disturb my heart.” Wenxu Jiang smiled and pinched
the cheek of Zhishu He, and then he was astonished by Zhishu He’s
haggard face.

Zhishu He turned around and waited in the living room. He didn’t hope
there was nothing esculent tonight.

Three dishes and one soup were served on the table. The first one made
under the “guidance” of the Zhishu He was tasted by neither of them. That
was in dinner, Wenxu Jiang found that the ring on Zhishu He’s finger
disappeared.

“Where’s your ring?”

“Where’s my ring? Where is it?” Zhishu He immitated the tone of Wenxu

Jiang and smiled.

Wenxu Jiang’s face changed, but he calmed down soon. Looking at the
shallow mark on Zhishu He’s finger, he said with a low sound, “Little Shu,
seriously, put the ring before I take you to pick a new one on the New
Year’s Day. Is it okay?”

Zhishu He put down the chopsticks and said slowly, “But it was lost.”

Wenxu Jiang felt a sting in his heart, and began to feel that everything
Zhishu He did tonight made him anxious. But Wenxu Jiang did not dare to
ask anything. He was afraid that even more a word would let Zhishu He
outbreak emotionally. Wenxu Jiang never felt so strongly that Zhishu He
had a lot of unannounced grievances in his heart.

Zhishu He refused to eat anything, and Wenxu Jiang had no appetite, either.

Sitting there, Wenxu Jiang was out of his mind. Seeing Zishu He clean up
the bowl, feed the cat and concentrate reading at the sofa, Wenxu Jiang
finally realized that he had missed the chance for a long time.

They sat awkwardly in the drawing room for a long time until Zhishu He
went into the bathroom of the guest room. Wenxu Jiang begun to take it in
that Zhishu might be in a bad mood because of him but he did not dare to
ask Zhishu He to go back to their bedroom. So he had to hold the pillow
and went into the guest room too.

After Zhishu He came out of the bathroom, he found the man had lied on
the bed. He wrinkled his eyebrows, for he did not appreciate a man who
was so shameless.

In Wenxu Jiang’s view, Zhishu He looked so beautiful when he came out of

the bathroom with water droplets hanging on his hair and rosy cheeks
steamed by hot air. His face was small and white, so he was less
intimidating even though he was frowning.

Wenxu Jiang got out of bed to take a shower, not giving Zhishu He a chance
to drive him out.

Zhishu He lied down and turned off the light.

He didn’t fall asleep. When Wenxu Jiang went to bed and lied next to him,
he was still awake. He felt that the man hugged him from behind, kissed his
neck again and again, and groaned in a low, hoarse voice: “Zhishu, little
Shu...”

Zhishu He did not know whether Shen Zui told the truth or not. But when
he thought that Wenxu Jiang just hugged other man last night while now
climbed into his bed, he felt disgust.

He struggled to get free and said, “I’m sleepy.”

Wenxu Jiang groped into Zhishu He’s pajamas, from his waist to the
bottom, “Just once.”

Zhishu He gasped gently and whispered, “Not even once.”

Wenxu Jiang smiled and bit the neck of Zhishu He, “I promise I’ll be very
gentle.” His voice was vague.

Indeed, when Wenxu Jiang became gentle, no one could refuse him. He
kissed Zhishu He’s bosom patiently and carefully and gave oral sex to
Zhishu He. He said softly with a low voice, trying to seduce him, “I won’t
let you hurt in the future.”

Zhishu He turned his head to another side and closed his eyes, thinking that
he would never need the man any more.

When Wenxu Jiang penetrated in, Zhishu He sobbed with a trill. Wenxu
Jiang immediately stopped and wanted to turn on the light, but was held
back by Zhishu He.

Wenxu Jiang kissed the cheeks of Zhishu He, finding that his sideburns
even wet, “Did it hurt very much?”

Zhishu He shook his head, “No... It’s okay...”

Wenxu Jiang kept their fingers intertwined with Zhishu He’s. He tried
slowly and finally combined together with Zhishu. But there was still an
empty and inauspicious feeling in his mind.
Wenxu Jiang kissed Zhishu He’s face bit by bit when he was moving.
“Don’t leave me,” he said.

Zhishu He did not answer him.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
42

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 42: I Quit Therapy. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang was quite restrained and just made once. He stroked the soft
hair of Zhishu He and whispered, “Let me hold you to take a shower.”

Zhishu He shook his head and buttoned his pajamas in the dark.

“Do you worry about getting a stomachache tomorrow?”

Zhishu He was so tired that he was gonna fall asleep; lying down huddled
up with his back to Wenxu Jiang, he responded, “I’ve been used to it.” At
first he couldn’t stand it. But if no one spoiled him, he could tough it out no
matter being beaten or scolded.

Wenxu Jiang hugged him from behind and said, “Well, sleep tight. Let me
hug you.”

It was rare for Zhishu He to fall asleep faster than Wenxu Jiang did. Such a
thin figure was lying peacefully in Wenxu Jiang’s arms, and the hair of
Zhishu He rubbed Jiang’s chest, which made Wenxu Jiang feel warm and
itchy in his heart. Wenxu Jiang got up early in the morning. And when he
came back the room after bustling a few hours quietly, Zhishu He did not
wake up yet. So he sat at the bed and looked at him carefully.

Zhishu He had lost a lot of weight. His chin was sharper, and his lips were a
little pale. When Zhishu He stayed at home alone, certainly he wouldn’t
bother to eat right. Besides, he had to endure all pains and grievances and
hide them deep in his heart. So it was impossible for him to gain a few
pounds.

As Zhishu He opened his eyes, he found the man staring at him closely.
Wenxu Jiang must still be busy today because he had already dressed up
with a customized suit, which set off his wide shoulders, long legs and
handsome face; he was such a beast in human clothing.

Looking at the addled face of Zhishu He, who obviously had not woken up
completely, Wenxu Jiang felt so fond of him. Jiang said, “Now that you
wake up, get up and take a shower. I have made breakfast for you.”

Zhishu He nodded with a yawn while sitting up. He finally had a good
sleep, so he was in a good shape now.

Wenxu Jiang smiled and tapped Zhishu He’s fuzzy hair with his big hand.
When he took back his hand, he glanced at the watch and realized the time,
“Zhishu, I’m going to sign a contract later. So I can’t accompany you
today.”

“After the contract is signed, I will give you a big red packet for the
New Year’s Day tomorrow.” Wenxu Jiang turned around to go out of the
bedroom. It seemed that he remembered something, when he suddenly
asked, “What do you want to eat tonight? I’ll come back early to cook,
and we’ll have dinner together.”

Zhishu He pursed his lips and forced a smile reluctantly, “Brother Jiang,
come here.”

Wenxu Jiang could see that there was sadness or solemness or other
emotions hidden under the smile of Zhishu He, who was like a warrior
making a final decision before death. For a moment he could not describe
Zhishu’s feelings exactly but directly walked over.

Suddenly, Zhishu He held Wenxu Jiang closely for half a minute, and then
gently bit Wenxu Jiang’s chin, “Come back early tonight.”

Wenxu Jiang’s mind was distracted, “Don’t worry, Zhishu! I’ll cancel it
and stay with you. All right? I’ll tell the secretary to change the
schedule.”

Pretending to dislike Wenxu Jiang, Zhishu he pushed him away, “Hold on!
Go and make it. How come you become so sensitive? Who doesn’t
know you’re a workaholic?”

Wenxu Jiang was still worried, but that customer was eccentric. So he may
not be able to sign this contract ever if the schedule is changed. Wenxu
Jiang thought to himself that Zhishu He couldn’t have any accident right at
home.

Wenxu Jiang left ultimately.

Zhishu He did not return to his mind until he heard a dead thud of the
security door. He rolled and crawled down from the bed. But the elevator
door had been closed by the time he opened the door.
Zhishu He hurriedly ran into the living room and saw the man through the
huge French window. It was still a view of his back. What Wenxu Jiang left
to Zhishu he was always his back.
Zhishu He pressed his body hard against the window and said to himself,
“Wenxu Jiang, look back and let me see your face once again.”

Wenxu Jiang never looked back. For the last time, Zhishu He was full of
tears.

The last time he was crying while he was retching.

Zhishu He took a shower and washed himself clearly. Then he dresssed

himself up.

His favorite coat was bought by Wenxu Jiang seven years ago, which was
camel and quite warm. At that winter, the man asked his secretary how to
coax his beloved. Then he planned to take Zhishu He to watch a movie. As
soon as they went out, it snowed. Zhishu He said that the most romantic
thing on a snowy day should be enjoying a beautiful snow scene while
drinking beer in a leeward open space.

There was no impression of romance left in Zhishu’s mind. He just

remembered that it was so cold. They were so lucky that a clothing store
had not closed yet.

The snow was very beautiful that day. Wenxu Jiang wrapped Zhishu He in
his arms with his coat. And Wenxu Jiang’s eyes were brighter than ever.
While drinking beer, Wenxu Jiang said it was the worst coat he had bought
for Zhishu.

Zhisu He tied the scarf tightly, with the ID card, the bank card and 500-
yuan change stored in the pocket of the coat.

He cooked a big meal for the cats and said reluctantly, “I’m sorry... I can’t
take you away...” He was afraid that Wenxu Jiang could not stand these
small animals after he left, but there was really nothing he could do about it.

He had never felt that leaving here was such an easy thing. He didn’t take
anything superfluous, without that book, cats, his ring and even the
medicine.

He didn’t turned on his mobile phone until he arrived at the railway station
by taxi. As soon as he turned on it, there was a lot of notifications and few
phone calls. Most were text messages from Ziyu Ai.

“I’m sorry, but I really have a strong feeling with you.”

“I know you’ve had a partner, but I can be better than him.”

“Don’t be angry. Just send me a message, okay?”

...

...

“Zhishu, you can ignore me. But you must come to the hospital for
treatment!”

“It’s time for chemotherapy. Why haven’t you come yet? Don’t play a
joke with your life because of me!”

“...If... If you don’t come yet, I will see you at your house!”

“Zhishu, I beg you... so long as you come, I promise I will never see you
again.”

After reading the text messages, Zhishu He did’n’t know how he felt. After
hesitating for a moment, he called the doctor.
Soon, the dialing was answered, as if the doctor was waiting for the call.

“Is that Zhishu?!”

“I’m sorry for bothering you for so a long time, Dr. Ai... As to my
illness, I quit therapy.”

Ziyu Ai was silent for a while, and suddenly he yelled, “I won’t allow it!”
Zhishu He said helplessly, “Why? I won’t live long whether I am treated
or not.”

“I’ll see you at your home.” Ziyu Ai relaxed his tone, but with
determination.

Zhishu He smiled and said, “I’m leaving, doctor. Take care of yourself.”

Zhishu He hung up and turned off the phone. Looking at the train ticket at
1:00pm, he closed his eyes. ‘That’s it!’
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
43

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 43: I Am Such a Sucker. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

The train ticket Zhishu He bought was to Shenyang; then he would continue
his journey to Hangzhou. According to his plan, the money left would be
enough to rent an apartment for six months in Hangzhou, if he didn’t
continue his treatment.

Zhishu He arrived at the train station at half past ten in the morning. It was
still too early to take the departure.

He was very patient for waiting. After years of grinding, he had been
accustomed to waiting and was quite good at it. The passengers crowded
the station hall, and the seats were all taken. Zhishu He was not too tired, so
he just stood aside from the crowding hall; however, his empty heart found
no place to stop over.

Many people had foreseen the relationship between Zhishu He and Wenxu
Jiang would end this way. Zhishu He’s mother told him that two men’s love
would not last long, and Jiang’s mother even said that they would separate
before 30 years old.

There was even a saying in the collection of Zhen Jian’s essays, “You walk
the path you would; I return my way home.”

Even if they, two players in the game, could refuse to face the reality and
entangle with each other till now, they still couldn’t escape from their final
destination: Break up.

Time went really fast, and then it was past twelve o’clock. Zhishu He felt
tired for standing too long, so he went to buy a bottle of water to drink.

At that moment, he heard people in the entrance suddenly started to make

bustle and noise, and saw a man in grey wind coat rush through the hall
with a dozen of guards in black suits following him. Two of the guards
came to talk with the staff in the station, while others, each holding a
picture, began to look for someone.

Zhishu He just stood aside in a daze. At first, he was curious about why
these men would make such a riot. However, only when Zhishu He laid his
eyes on the tall man in grey wind coat, He did immediately recognized that
the man was Ziyu Ai.

Ziyu Ai spotted Zhishu He in the crowded at once; then Ai strode over in a

fast step. No sooner did Zhishu He realize what was going on than Ziyu Ai
came in front of him.

“Zhishu He, You fucking freaked me out!” Ziyu’s eyes were red with
rage.
“You really think a goodbye is enough? Just quit the treatment? How
can you say that so easily? Why didn’t you just say you want to commit
suicide?” Ziyu Ai seized Zhishu He’s wrist, and roared at He in complete
disregard of the people around, “What do you take with you? Where is
your bag? Where are the medicine bottles?”

Zhishu He tried to pull his hand back with a frown, “Doctor Ai, Don’t be
like this.”

“Right, I’m fucking cheap and I ask for it! You’ve told me all, but I am
such a sucker and always over the top!”

Ziyu Ai pulled Zhishu He out as he was saying, “I was afraid that you
would do something stupid, so I asked guards and emergency doctors
to break into your house. What if I haven’t use GPS to locate you, are
you going to die outside?”

Zhishu He, who barely woke up from the chaotic situation, was reluctant to
leave with Ai. What was more, He just couldn’t stand being harassed by a
man who was unreasonably angry with him, even if He was good-tempered.

“I am free to die wherever I want to die! What kind of doctor are you?
You looked like a mafia, breaking into my house and following me here
when so many patients are desperately waiting for their doctor!”

Ziyu Ai stood still, condescendingly staring at Zhishu He’s eyes like a

bully, saying in a domineering voice, “Among all these patients, you are
the only one I want to heal. You can’t escape from me.” Ziyu's image of
a gentle doctor in white disappeared completely.

All of a sudden, Ziyu Ai held Zhishu He into his arms in an irresistible

manner, but said in a soft and affectionate voice, “It’s my first time to act
like a mafia, and I will take you somewhere I want to go, OK?”

Zhishu He had to admit that he had never seen Doctor Ai being so stubborn
and capricious. Since Ziyu Ai came in, Zhishu He somehow knew that he
would attract people’s attention in this small hall.
“Let me go... I can talk with you outside.” Zhishu He had go concede.

Ziyu Ai smiled, and he immediately loosed his arms, “Leg’s go.”

It didn’t occur to Zhishu He how spectacular an arrangement Ziyu Ai had

made for him until He came out finding seven or eight Humvees parking in
a line outside the station. Ziyu Ai opened the door in the first Humvee and
waved Zhishu He to sit inside as Ai was talking to the phone: “My bro, I
found him. Leave me one car and the rest can go back. One car is
enough... Ok, bye, see you around.”

Before Zhishu He was about to say something in the passenger’s seat, Ziyu
Ai put his finger at He’s lips.

Zhishu He couldn’t refuse, so he lightly closed his eyes and waited. The
long silence in the car was suddenly broken by a touch of something wet
and cold at He’s lips. Zhishu He was taken by astonishment, but when He
opened his eyes, He only found that he was staring at the eyes of a cat,
whose nose was just against his mouth.

Picking at the cat by its neck, Doctor Ai snickered, “What were you
thinking just now?”

Zhishu He felt a blush rise to his cheeks, but he suddenly realized, “It’s my
cat?”

Only when Ziyu Ai put the cat in the backseat did Zhishu He notice that the
other three cats were all together in sound sleep. Ziyu Ai explained, “When
I couldn’t find you at your house, it occured to me that you wanted to
go somewhere far away. But what about the cats? Do you want them to
starve to death? And speaking of your...”

“He is not a good guy.” Ziyu Ai stumbled over his words, afraid of making
mistakes.

Zhishu He understood Ai’s meaning. He replied to Ai in a moment of

silence, “Anyway, Thank you.”
Ziyu Ai after all didn’t forget the main point, “Where are you going?”

Zhishu He suddenly remembered his train ticket, which cost him a lot but
now was pitifully wasted, saying, “I was planning to go to Hangzhou.”

“Good!” Ziyu Ai smiled, “My brother has a tea house in the Longjing
Road (a place of interest in Hang Zhou City, where many people do tea
business). The environment there is very good. Let me drive you over
there.”

Zhishu He was surprised. The journey to Hangzhou was too long on the one
hand, and on the other hand He planned to travel alone.

Doctor Ai was in high spirits, “Let set off now. We go back to my house
to take my doggie first. Er Gou likes Hangzhou, and he likes cats too...
he likes you very much.”
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
44

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 44: He Rushed Madly Into... 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He shook his head, “Dr. Ai, we’d better keep our distance. You
know, I can’t respond to your feelings.” He made it clear and there was
no euphemism at all. Besides, he never made it for considering some of his
own interests.

Ziyu Ai only said, “I do not want anything from you. I happen to want a
rest too, so we have the same destination. Don’t refuse me. You can
regard me as your friend taking you for fun.”
Zhishu He turned his head and saw the busy street view flashing by in front
of his eyes, “...I don’t want others to feel wronged.”

“Now that you allow me to accompany with you, that's enough for me.
As long as you are not the one feeling wronged, I will be happy.” Ziyu
Ai glanced at him and gently raised his lips.

Zhishu He didn’t say anything more at the moment. He looked back at the
cats, thinking that Dr. Ai could take better care of them.

He was such a man who would rather aggrieve himself than treat others
badly. Once Zhishu He was treated well, he could not help but want to
repay the person with much more. Ziyu Ai was very kind to him, not quite
enthusiastic but considerate. But it was hard for Zhishu He to accept Dr. Ai,
for he was so tired and did not have extra strength and thoughts. Zhishu He
knew his illness well. Even without Wenxu Jiang, he could not spend the
rest of his life with Ziyu Ai. Therefore, he could not waste Dr. Ai’s time.

Zhishu He thought for a long time before he spoke, trying to persuade Dr.
Ai to change his feelings. While, Dr. Ai was just silent, which made Zhishu
He angry. So Zhishu He simply talked tough.

However, as for Ziyu Ai, the refusal of Zhishu He sounded like love words.
His soft and light tone not only had no deterrence or majesty, but also made
Ziyu Ai want to tease him. When Zhishu He came to the hospital before, he
spoke just a few short words. Ziyu Ai now found that once Zhishu He said
several long sentences, the tone of Zhishu He began to change, which was a
kind of soft and tender southern dialect with a special final sound.

Having seen through Zhishu that his temperament was as mild as his accent,
Dr. Ai didn’t allow Zhishu He to go on his own even if he led Er Gou (the
name of Dr. Ai’s dog) into the car.

Er Gou did like cats very much. As soon as he got on the car, he got
excited. With his big tongue sweeping, the heads of the four cats got wet. At
first, the cats were startled. Gradually, they got used to it.
Striking out its head through the gap between the seats, Er Gou saw Zhishu
He. It was so happy that it wanted a “tongue kiss” with Zhishu He, by
licking his mouth with his big tongue.

Ziyu Ai reacted even faster than Zhishu He and put Er Gou at the backseat,
“Your mommy is weak now. No kissing.”

Suddenly, Zhishu He’s mind went blank, with his ears reddened. He
couldn't say a word with anger.

Ziyu Ai glanced at Zhishu He and turned around to look straight at him

again and simpered like a hooligan flirting with a good woman. “Are you a
little girl? Why are you blushing?”

Hearing that, Zhishu He turned his face to the other side directly. It wasn’t
expected that a doctor who was upright would say those words.

Ziyu Ai smiled in a muffled voice. He didn’t expect that a person like

Zhishu He would be so funny, who would often be shy, blushing, and even
at a loss what to say when feeling too embarrassed. The more Dr. Ai looked
at Zhishu He, the more he liked.

Zhishu He was easy to get sleepy when he was in the car. Originally, he just
closed his eyes and didn’t want to debate with Ziyu Ai. However, he fell
asleep slowly.

When Zhishu He opened his eyes again, it was dark. Zhishu He was not
quite clear-minded, sitting there straightly and dizzily.

The man next to him was still driving. Zhishu He couldn’t see the look on
his face. When he looked back, Er Gou slept soundly with the cats in its
arms.

“You must be tired of sitting upright all the way. I’ll take you for a
walk at the next rest station.” Ziyu Ai said and turned on the radio for a
very soothing piano song.
“You must be more tired than me. You’ve been driving for so a long
time. We can have something to eat and have a rest later. We just go out
for relax, so we don’t need to rush to get there.”

Ziyu Ai smiled and said, “Are you caring about me?”

“No one else is sitting here except you.” What Zhishu He said, which was
quite normal originally, was full of special meaning now with Ziyu Ai’s
explanation of the simple five words. So even Zhishu He himself felt
embarrassed now, “You’d better drive well.”

Everything went smoothly with Wenxu Jiang in signing the contract. But he
kept thinking about Zhishu He since he went out. He had been in a trance
all day, with his heart aching dumbly. Even he just wanted to give up the
contract and go home to make sure whether Zhishu He was fine.

So he returned home early in the evening and bought a lot of food. He even
spared some time to ask Assistant Song to make an appointment at the
jewelry store. Tomorrow, he would take Zhishu He to customize a couple of
new rings. In the future, they could have a good time, accompanied by each
other, rather than thinking about other trifles.

The moment Wenxu Jiang opened the door, he found it weird. The room
was black and quiet. He turned on the light, only to find Zhishu He not at
home.

Even the cats were gone.

If only Zhishu He wasn’t at home, Wenxu Jiang would not be so panic. He

could wait for his back. Even if Zhishu He went out and messed with his
friends, Wenxu Jiang could wait with a gentle attitude which he had never
had before, just as Zhishu He had done for him in the countless nights. But
the cats disappeared.

Wenxu Jiang knew how much Zhishu He loved those cats, so he would
never give them away or abandon them.
As soon as he was thinking of all possibilities, he felt chilly all over his
body. Then, he shivered while recalling the strange attitude of Zhishu He
recently. Zhishu He left.

There was no omen or foreshadowing. Zhishu He had not mentioned

anything about leaving in countless quarrels or taken it as a threat even after
knowing that Wenxu Jiang had other lovers.

Instead, Zhishu He was usually gentle, humble and mild, even having no
complaints. But it was such a person who left silently.

Finally, Wenxu Jiang made some responses that he should have. He rushed
madly into the bedroom, then the guest room, the study room, and
everywhere else in the house.

There was no loss of big stuff, but Wenxu Jiang still knew that the bank
card and one of Zhishu He’s favorite coats were taken away.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
45

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 45: A Lover Kept by Wenxu Jiang? 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Perhaps there was such kind of departure in the secular world, without
farewell or hysterical break; even when it came over, unexpectedly, it was
so peaceful that you could not feel the sadness in an instant.

It seemed as if a sudden rainstorm came on a sunny day; as if your precious

vase suddenly fell onto the ground when you wiped it. In face of that, you
could only feel bewildered and endless silence.

Wenxu Jiang stood in the living room alone, feeling at a loss about how to
handle such situation. His mind was still in confusion. He didn’t understand
why Zhishu He left, and where that man could go himself.

He just stood there, suddenly a feeling of helplessness struck him. Wenxu

Jiang had never felt so lonely and desolate like now. Neither did he when he
became a stranger to his family for the love with Zhishu He, when he was
so poor that a bowl of wonton was eaten for two meals, or when he had
been away from home for a dozen of days with kinds of reasons. But now
he did, because Zhishu He was no longer behind him to give him support.

Ziyu Ai arrived at the rest stop. The farther they went southward, the
warmer it got. At least it was already more than ten degrees Celsius warmer
than Beijing.

Ziyu Ai suggested that Zhishu He should get out of the car to have a stretch,
because it was tired for both driving and taking the car. He handed the dog’s
leash to Zhishu He and said, “Will you hold it and walk the dog?”

Zhishu He said nothing, but he still took the rope and walked the dog
carefully, with some hidden vitality and brightness on his face, which was
rare to see.

“Why don’t you keep one by yourself since you like dogs so much?”
Ziyu Ai followed beside Zhishu He, smiling.

Zhishu He shook his head and replied, “My family doesn’t like it.”

Ziyu Ai was sure to understand his meaning, and he was jealous of Wenxu
Jiang more or less in his heart. For a moment, he did not know what to say.

Ziyu Ai turned up the warm wind of the air conditioner the moment they
got in the car. Seeing Zhishu He folding the overcoat, he could not help but
blurt out the thing which he deeply cared about, “...You don’t have to be
serious if he’s just seeking for fun. Zhishu, I know that kind of man
very well. They always have more than one lover at the same time, and
know how to sweet-talk the one he is particularly interested in. You’re
not a kid anymore. You should have a plan for your future.”
Hearing that, unexpectedly, Zhishu He laughed. Not out of malicious
sarcasm instead, it was just because those words sounded funny to him.
Zhishu He tilted his head and turned his eye to Ziyu Ai, his black pupils
shining. He asked, “You think I am a lover kept by him?”

That was not a pretty word to put on a man. Ziyu Ai slightly frowned, “I’m
afraid you’ll be cheated.”

Zhishu He looked out of the window, the reflective stripes on the highway
twinkling. Ziyu Ai drove too fast. Zhishu He frowned, “Doctor, what
would you like to know?”

“You needn’t guess blindly or simply think what you know is true.”
Zhishu He sighed.

The dog was spirited after sleep and walk, so it leaned towards Zhishu He
and Ziyu Ai through the gaps of seats. Zhishu He took some dehydrated
fruit and fed it, continuing gently, “I have been together with Wenxu
Jiang for more than 10 years. He has already fallen into the habit of
cheating on me, but what can I do? I know I am disappointing these
years, and even willing to do feudal women’s obligations because I
loved him so much. I give up my career and my life depends on him. I
cook and warm bed for him after he was tired of playing outside.
That’s right. It’s not different from being kept by him.” Zhishu He
patted the dog on its head, looking at the doctor, and said, “That’s all
about it. Are you satisfied?”

It was not that Zhishu He did not care his love to Jiang. He said those mean
words in such a casual manner just because he was unable to let it go.
However, this satire hurt Zhishu He himself in return.

How could he be regarded as a lover kept by Wenxu Jiang? The house

should have been owned by both of them. Zhishu He should have had
shares in the company. Even if the same-sex love was not acceptable to
ordinary people, it was still called love. They had once faced their parents,
as well as the eyes of the world.
But everything had changed. It was just that Wenxu Jiang did not love
Zhishu so deep as before, and after a few years of struggling in business
world, Jiang had accumulated some capitals. But none of these could be
enough to describe Zhishu as a lover kept by Jiang.

In fact, Zhishu He had been aware of Ziyu Ai’s mind as soon as he said
those words which implied everything. ‘Ziyu Ai might actually have
feelings on me, but how much of it was just his own wishful thinking?’

Ziyu Ai also regretted to have said that. What he thought was not exactly
the same as Zhishu He did. Ziyu Ai was just clumsy of speech. It was
possible to have IQ decline in front of the person you loved. He really cared
about Zhishu He, but what Ai cared was not his love affairs with Jiang. He
was afraid that Zhishu was cheated. He was also sad that... the man he
loved so much would not share love to him.

When faced with something he cherished, even a saint would be possessive

more or less, let alone a common man. He wanted to own it, the same as a
wild animal wanted to own the land. He didn’t want his treasure to be
touched, coveted or even casted a glance by the others.

So how could Ziyu Ai be satisfied after he heard what Zhishu He said? He

would rather Zhishu He had made a mistake like a fool; at least it was
nothing to do with love. However, the precondition of Zhishu He’s
infatuation was the 10 years he spent with Jiang, the most beautiful, the
purest and the most pertinacious age, that no one could get involved in.
When one fell in love with a person at that age, it must be for a lifetime.

What lasted a whole life, if not happiness, would only be hurt in the heart.

“I’m sorry.” Ziyu Ai did not know what to say, feeling listless.

Zhishu He did not care at all. He rubbed the fat face of Er Gou, smiling,
“You needn’t say so. After so much you did for me, you deserve some
information at least.”

It was possible that Zhishu did not care what Ziyu said because he did not
care about Ziyu at all. People of this temper were the hardest to conquer: no
matter you were affectionate or implicitly contemptuous, his heart did not
open for you, and you could not hurt him with anything, your sword or
spear.

Supposing that Ziyu Ai didn’t know that, how could he, a man would blush
to ears at a teasing or a sight of others, speak words of keeping a lover and
warming the bed in such a restrained, cold and prank way. Perhaps it was
life that had hardened and changed something of him, or it was the love
experience with Jiang that had brought him the greatest sorrow.

This was the result of once opening his heart wide. It was pain all over.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
46

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 46: Long-lost Sweetness. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

For the moment, neither of them spoke. Zhishu He was very tired after a
whole day’s travelling, feeling ache penetrating through the bone. With his
eyebrows knitted slightly, he leaned his forehead against the window.

Ziyu Ai casted a few glances at Zhishu He; Ziyu slowed down and freed his
hand to touch Zhishu He’s forehead lightly. As expected, Zhishu had a fever
again.

“Are you cold?” Ziyu Ai pulled the coat over, covered it on Zhishu He and
said, “Hang in there. We’ll arrive in five odd hours. I’ll get off the
viaduct later. There will be some commonly used medicine to replace
what you usually use even in a small city.” Ziyu Ai did not blame Zhishu
He for his haste to go outside without medicine. He knew that Zhishu He
was painful enough, and it was easy to be impulsive when he could not hold
on.

“What’s the time?” Zhishu He’s face was pale and his voice was weak.

Ziyu Ai read the time on the dashboard, “Eleven fifty-nine.”

At this moment, fireworks bloomed in the distant sky. On the long and
monotonous highway, it was really refreshing to see such a scenery. That
was supposed to be set off by people in the small city near the highway.
With different colors blazing in clusters here and there, the sky was
lightened.

“It’s twelve.” Zhishu He leaned forward slightly, looking at the fireworks

carefully like a kid, with some innocent joy between his eyes and brows.

Ziyu Ai felt more relaxed too, and he smiled, “Happy Chinese New Year.”

Suddenly, something seemingly occured to Ziyu Ai that he searched the

storage box of the car while driving; and about two minutes later, he got
what he was looking for.

A box of fujiya toffees.

“Hurry up! Eat a piece of candy at the beginning of the New Year, and
you will taste sweetness and everything will go smooth all year round.”

Zhishu He took the candy box, thanked Doctor Ai in a daze. He was not
aware that his eyes had been red. Zhishu He had already forgotten when he
ate a candy last time. He even did not remember sweetness very well since
being used to bitterness.

It was good to have someone care about you. He coaxed you mildly, with a
small tin box filled with toffees like you were a kid– “Be a lamb, so that
the day will be as sweet as sugar.”
Zhishu He opened the box and poured the candies all over his lap. He
waved the empty box before Ziyu Ai’s eyes and asked, “Give it to me,
won’t you?”

Ziyu Ai had even been ready to give Zhishu his melted heart as a present,
let alone a tin box. The moment he promised Zhishu He, he felt slightly
sorrowful and regretful. He wanted to pamper and dote Zhishu He so much
in the coming days and made up for the past days no matter how
mischievous or capricious He was. Nevertheless, the dream was difficult to
realize. At least now, Zhishu He was still making a polite request to him for
a humble thing.

But the mood of Zhishu He was visibly better than before. Although he
seemed still languid due to the fever, his eyes had been clearer and brighter.
He looked at Doctor, who was still driving. Then he tore off the wrapper of
a candy and passed it over, “Have a candy.”

Ziyu Ai had a sweet tooth, or there would not be candies in the car. In
addition, it was the one he loved fed him personally. So he absolutely
accepted it. When Ziyu Ai saw He’s slender fingers stop beside his lips, it
took him a lot of effort to resist taking a bite by the chance of eating the
candy.

The second candy Zhishu He took was for the dog. Taking the car for a long
time, Er Gou also looked tired. Er Gou chewed and then swallowed it soon
after Zhishu He put the candy into its mouth.

The third one, for Zhishu He himself, tasted sweet, and it was so sweet that
tears hovering in He’s eyes almost dropped.

When Ziyu Ai looked at Zhishu He, he had already fallen asleep again. But
this time, he did not habitually had his brows frowned. Smile could also be
read from the soft curve of his lips. It was so clean.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
47

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 47: He Is an Expert of Leukemia! 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

There had been no fireworks at festivals in downtown Beijing for several

years. Wenxu Jiang stood in the living room alone, feeling the world
unprecedentedly quiet, as if he was suddenly left alone by the whole world.
He found that he had done one of the stupidest things in the world–he got
his most cherished treasure lost.

Wenxu Jiang did not know where Zhishu He would go or whether he had
made any new intimate friends these years. What he knew about He was
only the phone number lying in Jiang’s address list, and now the phone of
He was off.
In a trance, Wenxu Jiang even wondered whether Zhishu He had already
been with the doctor. For the first time, he was frightened by that idea and
rejected to make associations with them two deliberately. Wenxu Jiang was
clear that if someone dare touch Zhishu He, he would even kill him with a
kitchen knife.

Unconsciously, New Year was coming. January 1, 2015. It should be the

15th year that Wenxu Jiang and Zhishu He had been together. They loved
and stumbled all the way, and it was hard to say whether it was the 15th
year of love or of acquaintance. It had also no answer if it was just a
relationship or had been the short life of a man.

Wenxu Jiang kept smoking all night. At dawn, he rose to his feet, and his
body, tall and strong, staggered for a moment. He looked at the wristwatch.
It was ten past seven.

He called the property management and asked if they could check the latest
monitor of their housing estate. People from the opposite side told him that
the record within a week was accessible.

Wenxu Jiang’s shirt of high end was crumpled. He did not change it, but put
on his coat directly and went out.

Wenxu Jiang knew that the monitor of the housing estate could only be a
proof for Zhishu He’s leaving. He might as well call Mr. Lee and asked the
police for help. But his subconsciousness was so mysterious that he was
forced to have a check.

Although only a week’s time, what should be known would always appear
by coincidence.

For instance, Zui Shen appeared in the monitor.

Wenxu Jiang felt a tremble in his heart. He finally knew that he had made
an irreparable mistake. At first, Wenxu Jiang thought Zui Shen knew how to
behave in such a delicate situation, whom he needn’t remind of anything.
However, he did not expect Zui Shen to have come to Zhishu He.
He was also angry with himself at giving an outsider a chance to hurt
Zhishu He, who was too soft and gentle to fight back and regarded
complaining as a contemptible behavior, and might even repress the anger
to numbness. Wenxu Jiang had been aware that he went too far. But now he
decided to get onto the right track with Zhishu He, thinking that it would
not influence their relationship as long as he did not admit the loving affairs
in front of Zhishu He, without expecting to be tripped up by a toy in the
end.

Zhishu He was the baseline of Wenxu Jiang, whom no one could touch.

The moment Zui Shen opened the door and looked at the man in front of
him, his gaunt face came alive. With his labial angles curved in a docile
way, he said, “Brother Jiang, you finally come. I miss you so much!”

When you fell in love with someone, you would be glad at a mere sight of
him. The grievance dissipated in a moment and it was sure that the
indifference from Jiang’s eyes and sharp coldness from expressions would
be ignored.

Wenxu Jiang came in, looking coldly at Zui Shen close the door and then
look for shoes for Jiang.

“You went to find Zhishu He?” The sentence without a hint of emotion,
unexpectedly, shocked Zui Shen into a shiver like a thunder.

Zui Shen had thought it would be all right. After all, it had been a few days
and everything went well. Zhishu He would have already told Jiang if he
wanted to.

Wenxu Jiang walked over to Zui Shen step by step and said, “I warned you
last time in France and do you think you are capable now. How dare
you forced Zhishu He away?”

Wenxu Jiang kicked in the belly of Zui Shen without any sign, wearing a
clearly murderous look, “If I can’t find Zhishu He, you’re gonna die.”
He turned around to go out but stumbled over a box of truck Zui Shen had
cleared away, out of which a jewelry box tumbled to the front of Jiang, and
a worn ring rolled out.

It caught Wenxu Jiang’s sight and he stopped and stared at it for a while.

Zui Shen’s face was pale out of pain. At the sight of the ring, his face turned
gray with fear, and said nearly in a begging tone, “...Brother Jiang... I can
explain.”

The first time he went to bed with Wenxu Jiang was due to Jiang’s drunk, so
Jiang woke up late. Zui Shen woke up early because he felt ill for drinking
too much. At that time, he did not know that Wenxu Jiang had a lover.
When he liked Wenxu Jiang secretly, he had already been curious about the
worn and worthless ring on Jiang’s finger, so he took it off while the man
was fast asleep. However, he held it in his hand for a while and
unconsciously fell asleep.

When he woke up again with nobody aside, the ring was still in his hand. It
had been two days since Wenxu Jiang found him again, and Jiang asked
directly about the ring. At that time, Wenxu Jiang was really horrible, his
eyes red with fierceness, as if having lost something precious. Zui Shen was
frightened, so he did not dare to tell the truth but give an evasive answer
that probably it was lost.

Wenxu Jiang did not care about the countless strange combination of
coincidences behind a ring now. The plain silver ring, pricking his eye
sockets, was carved for a few months by Zhishu He, who also wore it on
Jiang’s hand in earnest. Now it was mixed up with a pile of garbage that
would soon be abandoned.

He felt a lasting ache in his heart.

Wenxu Jiang bent down and picked it up. He blew the dust off the ring
gingerly, and wore it seriously on his ring finger.
He felt a strange calmness in his heart. The soul wandering for a long time
without a place to settle seemed to have an end-result. He even had no
mood to argue with Zui Shen anymore.
“For the sake of the years you’ve been with me, I will forget it this time.
Don’t let me see you again.”

Wenxu Jiang said that and then turned around to leave, but was simply
hugged by the one behind him.

Crying softly and innocently, Zui Shen begged, “Jiang... Please don’t
leave me... I was wrong. I will never do that again. As long as you’re
willing to come to see me, you can have anyone in your heart... It’s ok
that you don’t want him to suffer. I can do anything with you and I
really love you...” Zui Shen choked with sobs when the tone was actually
similar to that of Zhishu He, which made Wenxu Jiang’s heart softened.

He pushed Zui Shen away, turned around to stroke his hair and said, “Don’t
spoil yourself. I have someone in my heart. I was naive in the past and
made some mistakes, but you’re still young, and you will meet someone
you like more.”

Seeing Wenxu Jiang turn around and leave decisively, Zui Shen lost his last
hope.

Sitting on a bench in the park, Wenxu Jiang was gently stroking the ring on
his finger, and thought of the missing ring of Zhishu He that he noticed at
the dinner the day before yesterday. He knew that Zui Shen must have made
something to Zhishu He with his thing.

His ring was got back, but Zhishu He could not wait for it and left.

The ringing of his mobile phone interrupted Wenxu Jiang’s thoughts. He

answered the phone, and it was Jingwen Zhang, “Hello?”

“I will get married next Monday. I’m calling to invite you to come to
my wedding party with your partner.” Being filled with happiness,
Jingwen smiled, not aware of Jiang’s bleak cold tone.

“Zhishu left... I don’t know where he went.”

“You quarreled with him?” Jingwen was silent for a moment, and then
asked, “He left alone? Is anyone along with him?”
Wenxu Jiang and Jingwen Zhang had been good friends for many years,
and they could share anything to each other, “He was very close with a
doctor days before, a man who seemed interested in Zhishu.”

“Doctor? Jingwen wondered how Zhishu He could make friends with a

doctor since he rarely went out.”

Wenxu Jiang gave out a cool hum, “But he’s certainly not an ordinary
doctor. He drives a Ferrari and what he sends to Zhishu are all
valuable, such as an orchid which is worth more than two million. He’s
probably still young, about in his early thirties.”

Originally, Jingwen Zhang wanted to laugh at Wenxu Jiang that he got

angry with Zhishu He last time might be due to the jealousy from the loving
crisis awareness. But Zhang was shocked on a second thought.

“Loving cars and flowers, a young doctor... Isn’t that Ziyu Ai? He is an
expert of leukemia!”
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
48

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 48: Fuck your love! 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Suddenly, it flashed through Jingwen Zhang’s mind the tins and bottles on
the shelves of Jiang’s house, out of which books were emptied. This
thought startled him into a fine film of sweat all over. “Wenxu, I’ll go to
your home to meet you. No matter where you are now, go back
immediately!”

Wenxu Jiang felt the weird and ominous feeling in his heart pouncing on
him, even his legs were limp when he stood up. He was well aware of the
fact that there was something he must face but not aware of what it was.
Every cell in his body was screaming at him–‘you can’t go back!’
When Wenxu Jiang got home, Jingwen Zhang had already been waiting
outside, with only a thin cashemere sweater. He looked anxious.

“Why are you so late?” Jingwen Zhang frowned.

Wenxu Jiang took out the key and opened the door. He asked, “What else
have you recalled?”

Jingwen Zhang ignored him. Without second consideration, he stepped into

the study and found those bottles still there. Zhishu He did not take them
away.

Jingwen checked them one by one, and some specific medicine were not
easy to recognize when they were unpacked. Besides, he was originally not
of the same major with that of Ziyu Ai. So it was hard for him to recognize
those colorful pills.

At first, he planned to take some for a drug test, but the innermost bottle
caught the sight of Jingwen Zhang, whose pupils constricted the moment he
saw them. He reached for the bottle, poured out two pills onto his hand and
checked them. He knew this medicine well. Thioguanine–a specific
medicine for blood cancer. Last time he hurried to leave, and did not see it
clearly.

Wenxu Jiang stood behind him silently. Slowly, Jingwen Zhang turned
around, with compassion and anger in his eyes. Besides, there were also
some grief seemed inexplicable and flustered to Wenxu Jiang.

Jingwen Zhang thought of the pallor and weakness the last time he saw
Zhishu He, thought of He’s blood clotting disorder as well as He’s gentle
eyes and smiling face every time when he came to Wenxu Jiang’s home for
dinner. Jingwen shook his head and chuckled strangely, “I’m so sorry I
didn’t slap you up when I first saw you with a good-looking boy.”

Wenxu Jiang’s heart was punched mercilessly by an invisible force. He took

a few steps forward. Not in a tone of exasperation, he just inquired urgently,
“What’s up?”
“Do you love Zhishu He?”

“Of course.” Wenxu Jiang answered without hesitation. Jingwen Zhang

rushed forward and gave him a good blow. Few things in recent years had
made him so angry. With teeth clenched, he cried to Jiang, “You love him?!
Fuck your love! You love him and you go out with other boys! You love
him and can’t see his physical and mental state getting worse and
worse! You love him so you rape him!”

Wenxu Jiang could not rebut, but was annoyed by Jingwen Zhang’s sudden
hit and censure. His IQ was zero when he was out of control. “Yoo don’t
know about our family! I’m just having fun! I won’t let him go!”

“Wenxu Jiang! You’re fucking shameless!” Jingwen Zhang stopped his

hands, and his voice became calm. He said with coldness and sarcasm,
“When you go out and play, he may be having a bone marrow puncture
and can’t even get up. When you suspect that he and the doctor are
having love affairs, he may have just struggled back home after
chemotherapy. You had pretended to regret after you raped him the
other, but do you know he was even not conscious, and he didn’t take
off his coat because his arms were pinpricks and bruises all over.”

Wenxu Jiang had noticed that things began to run out of control, and a chill
went from the top of his head to the bottom of his feet. He froze. His
pretended threatening manner had also been away. Like a child bringing
disaster, he asked at a loss, “... What... What are you talking about?”

Jingwen sneered, with tears at the corner of his eyes, “Zhishu He don’t
want you this time.” He turned around to leave, with no medicine, no
turning back.

“What’s the matter with him?!” Wenxu Jiang gave a loud cry, and his
voice was trembling with fear to the bone.

“Leukemia... I don’t know how long it’s been.”

“Don’t tease me. I haven’t been messing with you lately! All right. Even
if Zhishu was not at home, you will get your wedding presents for
double shares.” Wenxu Jiang became softer and faked an easy smile, “I
know that it’s my fault. I’m sorry for him. I’ll change all of these. You
don’t scare me in this way.”

Like a drowning man struggling, Wenxu Jiang stared longingly at the straw
in Jingwen’s hand, which could save Jiang’s life. As if as long as Jingwen
Zhang admitted that all of this was false, he could have a chance of
survival.

“Have you ever seen him had a nosebleed? Have you ever seen him not
feel like eating due to weakness and weariness? Have you ever seen him
suffering from a low fever? You dare not admit it now? You’ve learned
to play a fool? Can you fool yourself?” Literally, every word made Jiang’s
heart hurt.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
49

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 49: Memories. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Ziyu Ai’s elder brother had a tea garden, which was more than ten mu
(about two acres). Its environment was very good. It was next to Lingyin
Temple and only more than 20 minutes’ drive to Wulin Gate where one
could start the visit to the West Lake.

The dog was in full swing after getting off the car. However, sitting in the
car for too long, the dog felt dizzy and its legs went soft so that it could not
control itself and directly fell into the lake beside the tea garden. Ziyu Ai
laughed at the disaster.
It was really warm in Hangzhou. The time was just past 6 a.m., and the
temperature was already more than 10 degrees. Zhishu He was still asleep.
The pouches under his eyes, covered by his long eyelashes, were heavy
because of a bad sleep for a long time.

Ziyu Ai bent over and carefully held Zhishu He up horizontally. Although

Ai acted especially lightly, He woke up immediately. “Don’t move
around,” Ziyu Ai held He tighter and laughed, “or you’ll fall.”

Zhishu He felt a bit embarrassed for they were too close to each to other. He
struggled to get out of Ai’s arms but failed, “... I can walk myself.”

Ziyu Ai glanced aside and saw that the wet dog had already run over,
“When you come down, it will pounce on you.” Ziyu Ai kept walking and
said, “I’ll hold you to have a good rest and bring those kittens in later.”

Ziyu Ai was also tired. He drove for more than 20 hours intermittently.
Zhishu did not want to trouble him more. So he agreed.

The weather in the south was wet and the quilts were not as warm and soft
as those in the north after being aired under the sunshine. Ziyu Ai had made
someone change all quilts for new ones. Ziyu pulled the quilt over He and
said, “Sleep for a while. I’ll invite you to eat wine-steeped shrimp at a
famous restaurant called Louwailou for lunch.”

“Doctor Ai, I’m sorry to trouble you so much.”

“When my friends visit me, I also treat them like this. Stop thinking too
much. After arranging well the dog and the kittens, I also need sleep
for a while. Don’t say anything that makes me sober anymore.” Ziyu Ai
evaded the topic and pretended to be extremely fatigue.

It was common for a doctor to perform a delicate operation continuously for

more than 10 hours. Ziyu Ai were good both in spirit and physique. He was
just to cheat Zhishu. It was not a problem to let him drive continuously to
Suzhou.
Ziyu Ai called his classmate in Shanghai as soon as he left the bedroom. All
arrangements were in place. Both the medical level and technical nursing
were as good as that in Beijing. He had used up all his resources to find the
proper marrow that matched with Zhishu’s. Although it was a little late.
Ziyu Ai shut the dog out of the door and slept peacefully for five or six
hours. He did not realize that it was so cold that he was awaked by the
coldness. The cold and damp could be felt only after a long time staying.
He stood up to wash his face. He was wondering where he could buy an
electric heater for Zhishu.

Ziyu Ai was a doctor, who was more meticulous than ordinary people.
Besides, he loved Zhishu so deeply that he could give him the whole world.
He wished that he could think of everything in advance right away and then
Zhishu would not suffer any grievance. Zhishu He was awake. He slept
drowsily a lot on the way here. He had a short rest. He had been thinking
about helping the doctor clean up the house unoccupied for a long time.
However, it was surprisingly clean. So Zhishu went out for a walk. The
view and environment was so nice that the air was fresh and sweet,
temperate and humid. All was the same as deep in the memory, even clearer
and brighter.

When Ziyu Ai came out, Zhishu He was showering the dog. It crawled out
of the water and rolled in the mud. There was some foam on Zhishu He’s
face. His clothes were mostly wet. He was in a good mood. It was the most
beautiful eyes and brows curls that Ziyu Ai had ever seen as Zhishu was
smiling.

“Okay, I’ll do the next. Take a shower and change your clothes. Later,
we’ll go out for lunch.” Ziyu Ai was still afraid that Zhishu He might catch
a cold after getting wet. He went to take the work quickly.

Zhishu He agreed, but did not leave immediately. He squatted aside and
watched Ziyu Ai wash the dog. Ziyu Ai treated the dog so rudely that the
dog barked all the time.

“Don’t be so rude to the dog.” Zhishu He turned his head to the doctor
and said, “Foam flows into its eyes.” He reached out his hand to wipe
away the foam in the dog’s eyes.
The dog was brought by Ziyu Ai to wash in a pet shop more often. It was a
fight to wash the dog himself. At last, he played in the bathing work like a
playful child. Zhishu He never complained. He washed the dog clean, with
his eyes being mild and helpless.

“Zhishu, you are brilliant!” Ziyu Ai squatted beside the dog, and
ingratiated himself with Zhishu in a gentle tone, just like a cute dog,
wagging its tail with its eyes being loyal. It seemed that it could fight for
you only with one look of you.

Zhishu He pursed his lips and looked away. He could not give Ziyu Ai any
expectation. He would leave. Better a little loss than a long sorrow. It was
better that he never got any hope than he lost after getting it.

Zhishu He had already learned to be smart.

The wine-steeped shrimp of Louwailou was the most classic. Ziyu Ai was
lucky enough to reserve seats beside the window, where they could see the
view of the West Lake. It was sunny. As usual, there were many people on
the Broken Bridge.

Zhishu He just ate a little but focused on the views. As a student, he and
Wenxu Jiang often came here in rainy days, especially in snowy days that
were hard to see. Jiang took He by bike. Without a camera, Jiang could
finally find out the best scenery for He to picture.

Zhishu He smiled softly. The weather was warm. Thinking of the past, it
seemed as if life had been going smoothly all the time. They were good
shining days.

Ziyu Ai felt the subtle changes of Zhishu He. He sat close to He, but failed
to disturb He’s memory. He could do nothing but watch He’s mind
wandering. The sunshine gave He’s eyelashes a golden glow. Ziyu Ai had
no doubt that at this moment Zhishu He was satisfied and happy.

However, happiness only existed in memories. There was only

disappointment and cold in reality. Ziyu Ai did not disturb He. As long as
He could be happy for a bit long... even only with some memories, it would
be a good thing for Ai.

This was good.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
50

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 50: Not Nightmare, But Reality. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

However, the sweetness of recollection should be shared by both lovers;

one alone would feel nothing but lonely. Zhishu He's heart began to ache in
a sudden, as if he was feeling the same pain for some other people.

On January 2nd 2015, the first heavy snow came nine months earlier than
that in 2014. Wenxu Jiang fell down the slippery steps and nearly had a bad
sprain on the ankle as he walked out of the hospital, if not held by a timely
hand of Jingwen Zhang.
Firmly, Wenxu Jiang grasped a few pieces of crumpled thin paper in his
hand.

It was a copy of disease inspection report, which took Jingwen Zhang lots
of efforts to find. The black and white characters in the report completely
destroyed Wenxu Jiang's last hope.

Holding the report closely to his chest, Wenxu Jiang broke away from
Jingwen Zhang's grasp and walked ahead. Jiang was then in a spiritless and
absent-minded state. Jingwen Zhang tried to persuade him but only watched
his tall figure suddenly kneel on the ground, leaving a sharp mark in the
endless whiteness.

Wenxu Jiang's eyes were all red, but he didn't seem to cry or stand up, but
started to tear the report into pieces with all his strength, as if he was
fighting against something dark and evil. However, he lost. Staring at the
scraps of paper, Wenxu Jiang showed weakness and sadness in his eyes. He
looked up at his friend Zhang who was also in complicated feeling, and
forced a smile to Zhang.

Jiang said, “I probably had a terrible dream just now. Give me a hand;
I need to eat dumplings with him. At each of the first snow, we used to
eat dumplings together.”

Jingwen Zhang couldn't help but burst into tears; he signed, “Wenxu...You
can't lie to yourself.”

The retribution did come, and Wenxu Jiang indeed couldn't lie to himself.
His mind was clear, the very first time so clear in the past several years. He
could clearly recall the snowy night when Zhishu He called him in a careful
and expectant voice, “We always eat dumplings when it snows. I'll make
some dumplings for you”, Zhishu He added, “I miss you; can you come
back this evening?” Then He continued, “Where is your ring? ... Let it
be. Forget about it, it's not a big deal.”

Wenxu Jiang couldn't really imagine how Zhishu He withstood such a

disease alone and waited for him alone. Zhishu He was the only one whom
Wenxu Jiang cared and loved more than anyone else. Wenxu Jiang loved
Zhishu more than he could.

Wenxu Jiang slowly raised his two hands, which were all red because of the
cold wind. It was the two hands that used to be handed with other pair, used
to hug the one he loved, and used to gently caress and passionately fondle
the body; then things changed, it was the two hands slapping in He's face,
touching others' body, and receiving a notice of pause after all these absurd
things in the end: several pieces of disease report.

Jingwen Zhang angrily pulled Wenxu Jiang up from the ground, feeling
sorry for him but couldn't help criticizing, “Don't make a scene of
yourself here. You should have expected the result when you did it at
the very first place. Even if he hadn't have a disease like that, how long
would he continue to endure your disloyalty?”

Zhishu He was not of such a disposition to be easily offended by one

accident and hence to blame the rest of the world for no reason. Zhishu He
would never stop listening, if he was hurt or betrayed for just one time.
However, the most horrible fact about his disposition was that Zhishu He,
who was usually too casual to have any bottom line and too tolerant to have
any limit, would instead leave no chance for explanation, if he was tired of
endless cheating.

Even worse, Wenxu Jiang gave no support for Zhishu He at his most
vulnerable state, but only hurt and unconcern.

The recollection was only left with pains once the two separated, even if
they had been together for over ten years of deep affection.

Wenxu Jiang began to find where Zhishu He was. Wenxu Jiang only wanted
to find him and take him home, to love him more than ever, and to cure him
whatever the cost. Jiang even spare no more attention to the company's
business.

But the first thing occurred to him in his search was to the relationship
between Ziyu Ai and Ziqian Ai.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
51

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 51: Ziyu's Efforts Slightly Paid off 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Ziyu Ai was genuinely good to Zhishu He, no worse than the younger
Wenxu Jiang. His love for Zhishu was straightforward.

He bought Zhishu sparklers. He designed a cat tree for Zhishu’s cat and
chose materials himself to make it. He even cleared some space in his yard
and built a garden for Zhishu to grow flowers.

Ziyu's efforts were slightly paid off. He had managed to claim another half
of Zhishu's bed. Though he had to bring his own bedding and quite a big
gap was kept between them.
Ziyu opened the bedroom door quietly. Small, heartwarming, orange light
was illuminating the room. He walked to Zhishu while Zhishu was reading
a book leaning on the headboard.

“What are you reading?” Ziyu reclined in the bed, slightly turned his head
towards Zhishu.

Zhishu smiled, showed the page to him, “Six Chapters of a Floating Life,
written by Fu Shen.”

Ziyu moved closer to Zhishu and leaned his head on Zhishu's shoulder,
speaking in an abstractedly low voice, “I had a nightmare last night.”

“I wonder why I was wakened up by you last night. You were crying
even in your sleep.” Zhishu He didn't push Ziyu Ai away.

Ziyu froze for a little moment. “I am useless, aren’t I?” He didn't want
Zhishu to know that in his dream, Zhishu was leaving him bit by bit until
this man was totally out of reach, eventually turned into a cloud in the sky.

Zhishu closed the book and tried to cheer him up, “Dreams are opposite to
the real life.”

“Zhishu, I have contacted with my old classmate in Shanghai. We go

there and have your cancer treated, okay?” Ziyu tried to persuade
Zhishu.

To Zhishu, it seemed to be such an abrupt turn of their conversation. He had

no idea that all Ziyu did was just a setup.

Zhishu's tone cooled down. “No. I don’t want to.”

Ziyu suddenly raised his head and looked into Zhishu's eyes. “Don't give
your own body a hard time!” He said.

“You are a doctor. Don't you know if it is treatable?” Zhishu avoided the
eye contact with Ziyu by slightly turning his head away.
“You never know…we can try.” Ziyu mumbled as a burst of heartache
struck him.

Zhishu He reached out his hand; his fingertip gently stroked on Ziyu Ai's
cheek from top to bottom. “If you do care about me, stop pushing me.
Chemotherapy hurts. Medicine is corrosive. The pain will start from
blood vessels. And it has lots of side-effects. Bone marrow aspiration is
painful; so does hemodialysis. Do you honestly want me to live the last
days of my life in misery? To see the hospital turn me into a freak
before I die?” His eyes were so gentle when he said that.

Ziyu Ai was aware of everything he said, but it felt much heavier to hear
the one he cared the most speak out the truth word by word. As if his words
had cut him into pieces, Ziyu was in great agony; his heart was bleeding.
However, his emotional suffering was nothing compared to what Zhishu
was going through. You wouldn't know how painful the needle tip could be
if it wasn't on you.

“If we do nothing, you will suffer anyway.” Ziyu shook his head with
teeth gnashed, trying to hold his tears in.

“I didn't suffer when you and I climbed the mountain, when I walked
my dog by the West Lake, and when the kitten snored in my arms.”
Zhishu gave Ziyu a little hug. “Spoil me for the last time.”

“I can't...” Ziyu was crushed; he couldn't even speak out of sorrow.

“Must you force me to go to the hospital? To do chemotherapy? To take

the medicine? To see me covered with tubes and eventually die in
pain?” These words didn't sound like what the usual Zhishu would say as
they hurt.

Throughout Zhishu He's entire life, he acted self-willed twice. He estranged

from his parents and abandoned his home the first time, and now this was
the second time where he gave up on himself.

“I love you.” Ziyu put his head on Zhishu's neck.

Zhishu could feel the warm fluids burning his skin, which made him feel so
sorry.

“If I had a second life, I'd like to be a girl and wait for you, only you.”
Zhishu started to calm him.

Ziyu didn't move. He was panting like a little animal. “I wouldn't mind if
you were a man.” He said in a weak voice.

“Two men equals a hard life.” Zhishu sighed.

Ziyu held Zhishu in his arms; they lay in the bed together. “Let me be your
wife in our next life. I'd be in charge of housework and labor. And I’d
give birth to our baby.” He turned off the light. Tears burst out as he knew
deep inside that he was bound to lose Zhishu.

Their hug lasted for the rest of the night.

Ziyu got up early the next morning. He felt empty inside as he saw Zhishu's
languishing face. He fled out of the bedroom in a hurry. For the first time in
his life, he blamed himself for being helpless.

Ziyu sat in the living room, having no idea where his mind was wandering.
He was thinking where they could go for a trip together, where to enjoy the
last moment of Zhishu's life. Ziyu Ai sat on the couch facing the ceiling
with his hands on his forehead. His heart was aching.

Someone was at the door making a noise that sounded impatient and
rushed. Ziyu got up and went for a check, but caught Ziqian Ai entering the
house.

Ziqian Ai was wearing a black businessman suit. His hair was properly
slicked back, a sharp look emanated through the gold-rimmed spectacles on
his high-bridged nose. There was a cold curl on the man's face, and
surprisingly it was his pissed-off expression.

“Bro, how come you are here? Why didn't you call me and I would pick
you up?” Ziyu Ai stepped closer but unexpectedly got a hard smack on his
face.

“You've got some fucking nerves, huh?” Ziqian Ai wasn't even content
with the smack, so he added more kicks. Normally, he loved his baby
brother but when the little brat pissed him off, he wouldn't give a second
thought to batter him as their father would.

Ziyu Ai was absolutely confused; he neither dodged nor resisted. “What

did I do?” he asked.

“Who was the person you took away a few days ago?” Ziqian asked back
in a cold voice.

Ziyu didn't have a clue about what the hell was going on. His brother knew
exactly what he did and he had been covering him up all the time. "The one
I love." He answered.

"Should I say what a spot-on?! You took Wenxu Jiang's precious away. Did
you know that?! That crazy man couldn't find you so he just took it out on
me and he won't get off my back. Do you know how much money I've lost
recently?"

Ziyu Ai started to get a bit irritated. "Goddammit, you told me Wenxu Jiang
was having affairs everywhere. I'd say he's extorting you!" He said.

Ziqian Ai had a bossier personality than his brother did. He raised his voice
dramatically, "Do you just blindly take my word for it? I haven't worked
with him for long; how was I supposed to know that person was most
cherished by him?! You idiot! I've spoiled you, haven't I?

"Keep it down, will you? You'll wake him up, he's a light sleeper." Ziyu Ai
frowned and said.

Ziqian Ai got angrier. "I don't mind you looking for fun; I've got your back
anyway. But can you keep it simple? At least not a secondhand one, okay?
He's been with him for more than a decade. His hole's already loosened!"
The moment Ziyu Ai heard this, rage filled in his bloodshot eyes. He
suddenly got up and gave his brother an unexpected punch.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
52

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 52: Brothers’ Confrontation 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Ziqian Ai never expected that his own brother would fight him over
someone outside their family. And when the two men fought, they fought
hard. This younger brother had been looked after all the time by Ziqian Ai
since they were little; but now Ziyu had the guts to fight him back, which
absolutely broke his heart.

"You little piece of shit! You had fun, but did you know how much
money I've lost these days? Only three days! Twenty fucking million!
Would it cost you so much to have an affair with Bingbing Fan (a
Chinese actor)? If I hadn't been protecting you, Wenxu Jiang would
come after me! If I hadn't been doting on you, it would be our dad
beating up your ass today!"

A farce.

Ziyu Ai panted heavily; he even ignored his brother's surrender in those

words. He had been feeling unsettled since last night. While he was in fear
and agitation, his brother groundlessly got involved.

Ziqian Ai just went too far. He cruelly abused and defamed the one Ziyu
valued and loved the most. No matter how bad Zhishu He was, still, he was
the one Ziyu cared the most in his heart, the unattainable moonlight Ziyu
longed for. Ziqian had the punches coming.

We all had things that we were embarrassed about but couldn't let go of.
Ziyu Ai never put it on the table but he did mind that another man had
pampered Zhishu for more than a decade, which made what his brother said
more hurtful, almost like a nail in the foot.

Ziyu Ai had a bad feeling as he suddenly saw his brother’s look behind him
in a brief daze.

Zhishu was standing behind the silkwood folding screen. The room was
cold; inside the heavy coat, he was only wearing his pajama. Zhishu looked
pale, his slightly drooped eyelids hid his emotion from Ziyu Ai. No one
knew how long he had been standing there.

"And you are?" Ziqian Ai frowned and straightened up his outfit. He felt a
bit awkward.

Ziyu Ai was totally panicked. He stepped close to Zhishu but stopped

halfway. "Zhishu?" He called him softly.

Zhishu He slightly raised his head, his eyes somehow empty. "Ziyu Ai, I
was looking out of the window; the plants in the garden have come into
large clusters of leaves." This was the first time he called the doctor’s
name, but it made Ziyu Ai almost cry.
Ziqian Ai was a bit shocked. He didn't expect that this was Zhishu He. He
thought the man that took Wenxu Jiang's heart away and captivated his
younger brother would have the prettiest face and be a dirty, horny bitch in
bed. But there he was, sad and lonely. He looked pale and gave the vibes of
blandness, which could even be described as sexual apathy. Ziqian Ai
always had a good memory, something his brother once had said suddenly
occurred to him that Wenxu Jiang's lover was taking medical treatment at
his brother’s hospital. But didn't his brother... specialize in leukemia?

Ziqian Ai found it absurd. This was the first time for him. He was a
businessman; he would carefully do the calculations about expenses and
profits so he just didn't understand what was in it for his brother. Ziyu made
so many efforts mentally and physically to take Zhishu He home but
couldn't touch him. Even He’s cancer was unlikely to be cured.

Ziqian Ai couldn't figure Wenxu Jiang out either. The man had Ziqian’s
respect because he made tough moves in business and he was a
sophisticated playboy. It turned out he already had someone at home. Not
until his precious went missing, did he start to worry. He just went crazy on
everyone he was after. Vicious competition was but a double-edged sword.
But, in this matter, Wenxu Jiang had lost more than Ziqian Ai did.

Ziyu Ai couldn't care less about what was on his brother's mind at the
moment, all he cared about was Zhishu He. He rushed at him step by step.
"Let's go and check if the dog wakes up," he said gently, "If he's not,
we'll wake him up and take him to climb the mountain with us."

Zhishu He dramatically turned his head away as it was a reflex to conceal

the tears that he couldn't hold. This love scared him. If he failed to resist the
temptation, it would be a bad ending for everyone.

So he had to control himself. He turned his heart into a stone, put on a cold
face and walked away. No hesitation, no looking back.

"Ziyu Ai, go back to Beijing with me." Ziqian Ai frowned and shouted.
He couldn't see his brother suffer and distressed for a hopeless future
anyhow.
Ziyu Ai didn't listen; instead, he ran to Zhishu and held him tightly, "Don't
leave me."

"You are better off without me," Zhishu He patted on Ziyu Ai's shoulder,
smiled and said, "Go home."

"Ziyu, take him with you. At least, I could help you take care of him,"
Ziqian Ai softened his tone completely, "Plus, you know more experts in
Beijing."

Ziyu Ai didn't loosen his arms. "I promised him to stay in the south. He
doesn't like the hospital. He doesn't like the wind and snow in the
north." Ziyu’s vague voice came from behind Zhishu He's neck.

Why must the mild southern breeze endure the rigorous cold in the north?
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
53

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 53: Blood Stained the Ground. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang hadn't had a proper sleep for days. Someone was constantly on
his mind. He couldn't stop thinking about the person, couldn't help feeling
the heartache. Wenxu was in agony. He refused to accept the fact since the
day he walked out of the hospital. He was so afraid to see Zhishu's health
condition worse. Wenxu Jiang would rather the pain was on him.

But he couldn't get hold of any whereabouts of Zhishu. When it led to

Ziqian Ai, the partner of his, he thought that guy would be a sensible man,
whereas he never expected that the guy was another asshole that pretended
to know nothing. It was obvious that he was determined to cover his brother
up. Wenxu Jiang was so mad that he pulled out all the stops to go head to
head against Ziqian Ai in the last few days.

Today, Wenxu Jiang fell asleep at his desk. He was too tired, physically and
mentally. He was unable to enjoy a deep sleep because of the uncomfortable
position. It felt like his body was still responding to the environment but the
drowsiness had brought him into dreamland.

The dream felt so real. In a trance state, Wenxu found himself back in high
school classroom again, studying chemistry. The teaching made him very
sleepy. Before he closed his eyes at his desk, the last person he saw was the
boy sitting next to him; the boy wearing the school uniform properly had
black and soft hair and was listening carefully to the teacher, whose eyes
sparkled gentleness and innocence.

"Zhishu..." Wenxu heard someone weeping in his dream. When he woke

up, the chilling fluids on his cheek caught him off guard. He didn't move;
his lifeless eyelashes flipped; his low and hoarse voice sounded like he was
sobbing. "Zhishu, come back, please. You can do whatever you want..."
He said.

Cats or dogs, Zhishu could keep them if there were enough space in the
house. No matter how busy I were, I would hug and kiss you after work, I
would bend over like a little pet to make you laugh. I would be willing to
give all my heart to you so that you would stay forever with me.

Wenxu Jiang drove home at late night because the scent of Zhishu lingered
in his house. He wasn't sure whether the fragrance smelled like the ink in
books or the still sandalwood. It wasn't aggressive, same as that man, who
could even be a bit bland in a long-term relationship, but when he suddenly
disappeared, he could be the drug that turns Wenxu into an insatiable addict.

Wenxu Jiang was in a very bad mood today, he peculated some of the
company's working capital for his own use. The board was unhappy about
it. But thanks to his long autocracy, it wasn't too big of a problem.

When the elevator door opened, Wenxu Jiang saw someone crouching in
the dark at his door. His heart jerked. He remembered that two months ago,
Zhishu He was locked out of the house by him. Zhishu was as thin as this
man. He must be sad and have kept silent in disappointment. He must have
dared not to argue or fawn.

Wenxu Jiang was a bit flustered. His heart felt like being nibbled by
thousands of tiny bugs. Sorrow and regret overwhelmed him. He was too
nervous to take a step. He couldn't help thinking to himself, "Has Zhishu
come back to him?"

"Hey, Wenxu..." It was a deliberately softened sobbing voice pleasing and

begging him.

Wenxu Jiang's vision dimmed as if he had got hit on the head. He stood still
and finally asked cold-bloodedly, "What are you doing here?"

"How dare you show up here?" Unexpectedly, Wenxu Jiang shouted out
loud furiously. Red mist filled up his eyes as he stepped close to Zui Shen.
"Do you know how many times I thought about destroying you?"

"I thought about having you raped and your face ruined," Wenxu said
in a cold voice, "So that you would become the lowest prostitute and get
fucked by men day and night until you catch STD and die." Wenxu was
pretty much emotionless when he said this, calmly and peacefully, but you
wouldn't doubt the authenticity of every single word he said.

Wenxu Jiang burst into laughter, sarcastic laughter. And then he smacked on
his own face unexpectedly. "But I don't have the right!"

He had no right to punish the one who hurt his love because it was never
anyone else's fault, but his own.

Zui Shen tottered towards Wenxu Jiang, trying to hold him by the waist but
got kicked away. Zui Shen's back bumped the door, the collision must hurt
but it could never compete with the pain in his heart. "Wenxu, don't leave
me. It was my fault..." Zui Shen had the fairest face, which was now pale.
He looked terribly delicate and pitiful with his teary face. "We can be what
we used to be... You can screw me any way you like it. I won't try to
replace the irreplaceable one of yours..."
Wenxu Jiang's look was indiscernible in the dark. His felt indescribably
uncomfortable. "Fuck off now. Don't you say these disgusting things to
me in front of my house." Wenxu Jiang didn't want to hear it. He was
disgusted as Zui Shen crawled back to him and him the body. Also, he was
disgusted with himself for once being self-indulgent.

Zui Shen didn't speak. He cried. Tears fell non-stopping. "Wenxu Jiang, I
really love you." He finally caught his breath and said.

He really loved him but he didn't know why. Even though this man rarely
treated him gently and they were together for sex. It felt like every drip of
fluid came out of his eyes was blood rather than tear. He was expressionless
but his eyes showed timidity like a kid. "I didn't mean to take your ring
away. Please, Wenxu... You said that I can have the house but I never
changed the name on the ownership certificate. I didn't spend a penny
from the money that you put in my bank card. I didn't want you to be
my sugar daddy..."

Zui Shen's sobs were too heavy a burden on the heart. "I knew you were in
love with someone else but I kept telling... telling myself that I am no
worse than anyone... Don't hate me, please... I am not... I am not a bad
person..."

Wenxu Jiang's finger quivered intensely. He knew how badly love could
hurt. It had hurt Zhishu He, it was hurting Zui Shen, and it would hurt
Wenxu Jiang.

"Leave." Wenxu Jiang sighed. I'm busy lately, we'll talk in some other day.

Zui Shen's eyes sparkled, he grinned like a child. "OK, Wenxu. I'll come
back again in a few days. See you."

Zui Shen left obediently. He wasn't stupid after all.

He wandered on the street in an unclear state of mind. The crossroad traffic

lights malfunctioned; a black Maserati zoomed over at full speed and boom!

Blood stained the ground.

A human life, to others, was just a piece of news on the next day's
newspaper.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
54

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 54: You've Got White Hair. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

The driver was a vip member of the most famous luxury car club in Beijing,
also, allegedly, the nephew of a chief officer of some military region. The
silver-spoon boy drank a bit of alcohol and went to Yanxi Villa to meet his
mistress, but his joyride accidentally killed a man. How could a lawbreaker
like that be treated the same as civilians? Loads of ass-kissers were queuing
to solve his problem. The car accident didn't even cause a ripple.

Not until two days later did Wenxu Jiang knew what happened to Zui Shen.
The moment he heard the news, he felt like everything paused, even his
heartbeat. He wasn't in too deep of a relationship with Zui Shen; the man
was just like a pet for entertainment purpose. But the news was still a shock
to Wenxu.

Wenxu Jiang had earned so much money, it would be a lie to say that he
never got blood on his hand. He didn't feel guilty or sad about Zui Shen's
death. He certainly didn't feel good about it though; it was like a twitch in
his heart. He would never expect that the man he spared would eventually
die anyway. He suddenly realized that human life couldn't be manipulated
by any man.

Later, Wenxu Jiang figured out what he was feeling bad about; it was the
loneliness derived from his extreme grief. Zui Shen's death reminded him of
Zhishu He.

Even though Wenxu knew that Zhishu He had leukemia, it never occurred
to him that someday, he would actually die. He just wanted to get him back
and treat him good and never do him wrong again. He wanted to be together
with him forever and ever.

But the reality was that not everything in this world would go at his will.
Wenxu Jiang closed his eyes despondently. He now understood what the
unpredictable death was.

Jingwen's wedding was held as planned. He wanted to postpone it until

Wenxu Jiang calmed down and got Zhishu He back. It was just that the
bride's grandfather wasn't feeling well recently, whose greatest wish was to
see his baby granddaughter marry a good man.

Wenxu Jiang attended the wedding anyway. He prepared a rather thick red
packet himself. It was their big day; Wenxu wanted to put on a happy face
but it was hard. You could tell that he was in a poor condition from his
emaciated cheeks and bloodshot eyes.

Jingwen ushered Wenxu in person and warmly put his arm around Wenxu’s
neck. It was considerate of Jingwen not to ask anything; Wenxu, however,
couldn't stand another pair of compassionate eyes. "Come and get inside.
The bride and bridesmaids will make toasts to you in turn."
Wenxu shook his head and smiled. "I'll pass. Let your grandfather-in-
law get the toasts. I'm just here to congratulate you," He took the red
packet out and said, "A token of my best wishes."

Wenxu Jiang was generous to his friends as always. The eight thousand in
the packet was just a symbol of good luck; what really counts was the card
inside the stack of money.

Jingwen wasn't aware of Jiang’s pattern. He quite cheerfully took it over

and felt it with a happy face. "Alright, quite a thick one." He grinned.

Wenxu's eyes milder, he smiled, "It's from me and Zhishu."

Jingwen paused and stared at Wenxu for a moment, feeling sorry for him.
"Wenxu..." He then said softly.

His tone was filled with bitterness and sadness, "You’ve got white hair on
the sides of your face."

Ziqian Ai left on the same night he came. He knew his brother so he didn't
waste time on extra persuasion. He knew it was best if he stayed out of it.
How long could the life of a cancer patient that refused chemotherapy last?
He would be dead less than one year. And how long could a dead man be
remembered? Less than one year. Ziqian Ai could wait. He reckoned it
could serve as a life lesson for his brother.

Zhishu He's condition got worse. He was covered with bruises, even edema
at the worst part. You could see a tiny pit when a swelling got pressed; what
you couldn't see was the stinging pain.

Zhishu He was lethargic every day and had a bad appetite and was too weak
to walk around. But he wouldn't like to trouble others. Instead, he kept the
severest pain to himself. Recently, Zhishu was fascinated by the balcony
outside the French windows on the second floor. Looking down, there were
Doctor Ai's plants growing wildly in the garden. They seemed to grow
buds. Looking into the distance, there was Lingyin Temple and a small lake
in the tea plantation, which was a pleasant view.

Ziyu Ai was so worried about Zhishu He that he was on pins and needles
every day. Zhishu was more stubborn than he thought—not only did he stay
away from the medicine for his cancer, but he also cut off the painkillers
and sleeping pills.

This day, Zhishu had a fever again, which burnt him out so this night;
unlike usual, he slept early.

Ziyu Ai carefully stroked Zhishu's face with a warm towel. He couldn't help
kissing him from between his eyebrows to the edge of his lips, then he lay
next to Zhishu and cuddled him.

Ziyu Ai cuddled Zhishu a lot these days when Zhishu couldn't sleep at
night. Zhishu didn't like the cold. No matter how high temperature the air-
con was set at night, it would still be too cold for him. Ziyu had a warm
body. He would hold the entirety of Zhishu's body in his arms and pat
Zhishu on his back like he was a kid. As day went by, Zhishu could sleep
better but Ziyu became a light sleeper.

So tonight, a smallest sound Zhishu made woke Ziyu up. He heard Zhishu
whimpering very quietly. He turned on the table lamp but found that Zhishu
hadn't awake. There was a thin layer of sweat on his forehead, which
indicated that he was suffering in his dream.

Ziyu washed the towel and wiped Zhishu's face again. His hand was
shaking as he stared at the translucent tracks of tears on his cheeks. He
kissed on his eyelashes, prayed that he could sleep tight tonight.

Suddenly, Zhishu He opened his eyes, looked at Ziyu Ai blankly. In a daze,

he asked a question that totally came out of nowhere, "Where is my ring?"

"Have you seen my ring?"

Ziyu Ai was confused but soon found that Zhishu's eyes were cloudy as if a
nightmare had got the better of him.
Ziyu talked him into lying down. He took a look at Zhishu's fingers in his
hand and saw a light mark, due to too many years of wearing a ring, was
left on his third finger.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
55

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 55: Nightmare and Heartache 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

If someone was so important to you, over time, they would sear a mark on
your heart. And whether the person was still kept in mind or not, the mark
just wouldn't disappear ever after.

Ziyu Ai tucked Zhishu He into the cover. He felt bad all of a sudden. All he
wanted to do was look at the plants he had grown for Zhishu.

Time went by very fast. It was already the middle of January. Two weeks
later, it would be February, which was another step closer to Chinese New
Year.
Zhishu would take a little walk when feeling less painful but he wouldn't go
too far away from the house. When he was in a bad shape, he would cover
himself with a thick cashmere blanket and read books in an armchair.
Zhishu didn't like TVs or movies because they would dizzy him, which led
to heavy headaches. However, reading wasn't that comfortable for him
either, he would often fall asleep halfway through a book.

What scared Ziyu the most now was to see Zhishu fall asleep. He was
uptight every time he walked up to him—He was afraid that one day, this
man would sleep in peace and never wake up again.

Zhishu noticed that recently, there was less moving-about of Doctor Ai in

front of him. The man would just mind his own scribbling or doodling near
him, acting pretty concentrated.

This day, Ziyu Ai, unlike before, raised his head after he finished his
drawing, and had a good stretch in the warm afternoon sunshine. "Your
birthday is close, is it?" He then said straightforwardly to Zhishu.

It took Zhishu a while before he realized that someone was speaking to him.
He slightly leaned forward and said, "How do you know?"

Zhishu He's birthday was right before Chinese New Year. No one cared
about his birthday since he left home a decade ago apart from Wenxu Jiang.

Ziyu Ai smiled at him. "I took one more glimpse at your ID number
when you were filling in the form."

It wasn't a painful day for Zhishu so he was willing to have a chat with the
doctor. "Okay. What have you been drawing these days?"

"Secret." Ziyu Ai acted mingy this time.

Zhishu wasn't very curious of it anyway. "Bring the dog here. I'd like to
have fun with him." He didn't say the doctor's name, which actually was
childishly cute.
Ziyu Ai had a softer heart than the West Lake water in April at the moment
but he had to force himself to say no. "Wait until you feel better. The dog
goes out every day. It's unhygienic." The immune system of Zhishu's was
already vulnerable and that was one big, energetic dog. Ziyu was quite
concerned.

How much longer could he wait though? Zhishu was a bit disappointed but
he knew he did it for his health.

Ziyu couldn't bear to see Zhishu get upset. He thought for a while and
walked up to Zhishu. "How about I get you a kitten here?" He asked.

Zhishu was cheered up a little. "I want the one with black whiskers and
white feet." He answered.

"The fattest one, I get it," Ziyu got close to him and said with a smirky
face, "Give me a kiss and I'll get it for you."

Zhishu rolled his eyes. "Don't make fun of me."

Ziyu instantly gave up to the eye roll. He couldn't help himself but swiftly
zoomed towards Zhishu's cheek and kissed on it.

Zhishu He was so shocked that his pupils dilated.

But thanks to Ziyu's rapid pace, the fluffy little fellow was delivered in
time, or else Zhishu would surely slap on his face.

After that little incident, a touch of intimacy and romance broke into their
life which had never occurred before. Ziyu Ai was hell of a cheeky guy. At
first, he would at most sit next to Zhishu to read books, now the two of
them shared a blanket. He would also hold Zhishu around his waist and kiss
him on the cheek from time to time.

Ziyu was also a good pleaser. Zhishu He wouldn't even read a book when
he meant to ignore Ziyu Ai, he would close his eyes and just rest. But Ziyu
Ai would get his poetry out and read those flirtatious, passionate foreign
love poems to him. And one time wasn't enough for Ziyu, he would read
again emotionally in standard British English, and finally, round-three in
sexy French.

What a charmer.

Zhishu He's heart wasn't made of stone, plus, right now, a company was
what he needed the most. Right now, he just couldn't resist Ziyu's
sweetness.

Ziyu Ai was the only one, other than Wenxu Jiang at the early stage of their
relationship, saw Zhishu as the light of his life, but the two men were
different. The one Wenxu Jiang cherished was the adolescent that was
prettier than flowers whereas Ziyu Ai was in love with Zhishu at his worst,
the man who had been living with another man for more than a decade, as
well as the man who was unpredictable and having a fatal illness.

The weather in Beijing was far from ideal. Sunny days were rare even when
there was no wind or snow. Smog was a regular inhabitant of the city; each
inhalation of the air irritated the throats.

It had to be the longest, coldest winter Wenxu Jiang ever had, which had
forever engraved the despairing gray on his memory. Late night in his bed,
there wasn't a single sound around Wenxu. He felt like the last human being
in this world.

No matter how many times Wenxu Jiang rolled over in his large bed, when
he abruptly woke up in the middle of the night and reached out to the other
half of it, there always lay the coldness, boundless coldness. Wenxu Jiang
was obsessed with cigarette recently, the ashtrays in his house or the
company were always packed with cigarette butts. Later, he started to drink,
alone at home. If he managed to get himself drunk, another night would just
quietly pass. But sobering up at midnight was the worst as solitude just
caught him off guard.

More often, Wenxu Jiang just couldn't sleep well, he was haunted by
nightmares. At the most torturing times, next day's nightmare would start
from where it ended yesterday and it felt as real as it got. He often dreamt
of Zhishu He, that he was alone at home with long bangs and in white
pajamas, strolling in the massive house over and over again. He didn't raise
his head; he was at a slow pace; he opened the doors of every bedroom and
then shut them, ceaselessly. The other day, Wenxu's dream even had sounds
it in. Zhishu, who was repeating the same routine as if expecting something
behind the doors, at last, sat on the ground, absolutely fatigued. His tears
pattered the floor, formed little puddles one after another, while he was
saying something in a sad, heartbreaking voice, "Wenxu... I can't find
you. Come back to me, please..." The sound of his sobs gradually faded.
Wenxu Jiang realized the tears on the ground had turned into blood
afterwards. And in the end, Zhishu raised his head up—he was pale and
haggard, his mouth was full of blood...

Wenxu Jiang awakened from the nightmare and was too afraid to keep
sleeping.

"It's my fault..." Wenxu's heart was in so much pain that he curled his
entire body into a small ball in order to stay under sadness' radar. "Zhishu,
it was all on me... I won't do this ever again... Sorry... Sorry..."

At first, Wenxu thought it was pure heartache, the last bit of his conscience,
causing the pain. But he then passed out in the company. When he was
taken to the hospital, he was told that there was actually something wrong
with his heart.

Heartache could cause physical pain. Wenxu's lips turned blue and his eyes
dimmed.

He missed Zhishu He.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
56

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 56: The Crucial Clues 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang merely stayed at the hospital for a day. He was led back and
forth to have his body checked like a puppet on a string, his mind went
totally blank. The doctor advised him to quit smoking and alcohols but
Wenxu knew it wouldn't help at all because there was a certain person that
he couldn't quit.

His beloved one, the boy he couldn't get off his mind since schooldays,
whose smile was sweeter than flowers. And when he smiled, there was a
cute little dimple on one side of his cheeks. And then, they got together. The
two of them together had gone through the greatest hardship that others
couldn't stand throughout their entire lives. However, when life got better,
everything changed. Zhishu smiled less and became quieter. His eyes
looked increasingly sad day by day. It was all Wenxu's fault. He puckered
his lips and huffed hard. He didn't want to cry at the moment.

Not until his cellphone rang for quite a while did Wenxu call to his mind.
He took it out and answered the phone.

"Mr. Jiang? This is the Estate Management Department."

"What's the matter?" Wenxu Jiang answered weakly.

"Here's the thing, at the beginning of this month, you asked for CCTV
footage regarding something. There's still a small part remaining
unchecked. Would you still like to watch it? It will be hard to find if
you want to leave it for the next time."

Wenxu was going to say forget it. He didn't have time for this pointless
stuff. But deep inside, he still kept the last bit of faith. He would rather be
troubled with trivialities than miss the slightest chance.

He drove home without even taking the medical examination reports.

"Mr. Jiang." CCTV Security staff greeted him. This is a high-end

community with a civilized security team. "We spotted something odd
during the replay so we called you to have a double-check. Come and
have a look, please."

Wenxu's heart jerked. His fingers were quivering.

Due to privacy protection, apart from the lanes across the community,
inside the buildings, only elevators and escape ways were equipped with
CCTV monitors, and there weren't any near doorways of each apartment.
But even so, Wenxu Jiang was sure that the car showing up and the guys
going upstairs that day were related to Ziyu Ai.

"This, can you magnify it?" Wenxu tapped on the computer screen that
paused on a man in a camel coat.
The enlarged face of the man felt weirdly familiar to Wenxu. It felt like he
saw him somewhere but he couldn't remember, let alone confirm his
identity. A quick thought flashed by in his head—the man on the screen
looked handsome; the eyes and brows and lower jaw on his emotionless
face somehow looked like... Ziqian Ai.

Wenxu couldn't stay calm anymore as his heart twitched. "Play the video
back. Pause on those car plates."

He took note of the numbers of every car plate himself and called the
director of road and transport bureau right after he walked out.

That day, the entire police station was busy analyzing the video. All they
had been told was some criminal gang had driven off to the south.

Wenxu Jiang fell out with Ziqian Ai for good. He had a piece of paper on
which Ziyu Ai's car plate was underlined sent to Ziqian Ai along with one
statement. "We’ll see until I track them down."

During winter in the south, it felt warmer outside the house than inside on a
sunny day. Zhishu went out to enjoy the sunshine which he didn't normally
do.

Ziyu Ai was pruning the branches of the plants, the leaves were thick but
there wasn't any bud at all.

"When will I see the blossoms?" Zhishu looked at the doctor while lazily
sitting on a little stool holding his chin. "There are only leaves."

Ziyu Ai stopped what he was doing. He walked to Zhishu, leaned over and
touched his forehead with the back of his hand that hadn't got dirt on it. He
then heaved a sigh of relief, lowered his hand and stroked his face. "Soon
after the budding," He thought about it and smiled, "I'm sure they will
bloom in April"
Zhishu spiritlessly looked away, "Still months away. Don't know if I can
wait that long."

The smile on Ziyu's face was instantly gone. "Don't say something like
that ever again." He said.

Zhishu sighed and gave the doctor a comforting smile. "I was just saying
blahs. It was meant to push them to bloom sooner for me." Zhishu was
fully aware of the mental torment Ziyu Ai had undertaken these days if his
love was genuine. Granted, taking care of a patient was exhausting and
nerve-racking, but the mental torment as in watching the one you cared
emaciating and decaying was the real pain.

Ziyu Ai squatted in front of Zhishu but didn't buy the consolation at all. His
eyes were complicated when looking into Zhishu's eyes. He then very
slowly got close to him, made very slight contact on Zhishu's lips.

He didn't avoid it.

Ziyu's tears fell off at once, leaving him no chance to conceal his sadness.
Feeling rather awkward, he turned his head away. "Do you want me to sing
to you?" He said to Zhishu in a low voice.

Zhishu drooped his eyelids, the way he looked at the doctor was
heartbreakingly gentle. "Don't do it again, I'll feel guilty." Guilty about
the unforgettable one in his heart, and the limited time he still had for him.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
57

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 57: Jiang’s Arrival 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He dreamt more and more frequently lately, sometimes, he would

even sink into tangled dreams during light sleep. The scene in all those
dreams was always the same and explicit. It was this cool hooligan-ish boy
who never wore his school uniform properly reached out to him with a
languid smile, "The school is over, let's go home together."

Zhishu would always wake up with his face covered with dried tears. He
somehow felt it was an odd summoning just as the calls of lost youth,
decayed love, and impending demise.
Zhishu was selecting the 31st birthday present for himself recently—his
own grave.

This had been going on for days before Ziyu Ai found out. Zhishu couldn't
hear very well lately so he didn't notice people coming over when the
brochure got his full attention.

Ziyu Ai hugged Zhishu from behind, lay his jaw gently on Zhishu's
shoulder, "What are you looking at?"

Ziyu felt something wasn't right from Zhishu's subconscious hiding

movement. He then snatched the piece of paper from his hand which was
already crumpled.

Ziyu Ai's face turned bloodless, and then livid, due to extreme rage. He
clutched Zhishu's chin, forcing Zhishu to fixate on his eyes, "Why are you
looking at this?"

Zhishu He was a bit hurt, he struggled and said, "Aren't you a doctor?"

His answer didn't make much sense to Ziyu’s question but they did get each
other's point at heart.

Ziyu Ai let go of Zhishu dispiritedly. "Just quit thinking about this

nonsense." He said.

Zhishu didn't back down this time. He flattened the grave-selling flyer
slowly. "Can't I pick my resting place where I'm gonna spend a long
time living?" Zhishu He blinked and smiled like a child, "I still have
about 150,000 yuan in my account card. I'll need your help if that's not
enough."

Zhishu's smile stilled. Emotions were drifting in his eyes as his mind
drifted. "After I die... Just cremate me. I pretty much know why your
brother came here a while back. If that asshole Wenxu Jiang still wants
me, just give him my ashes...Not for free of course. Ask him for
whatever he owes including lost-wage compensation, emotional distress
claims, medical bills and c. If he refuses to pay you, don't give me back.
Spill me, bury me, whatever you like..."

Ziyu Ai was frozen from head to toes. He was used to death but he just
realized that he, in fact, wasn't that cool with it.

"I won't give you back no matter how much he offers." Ziyu made a
promise.

Zhishu was a bit tired. He curled his body as he lay on the doctor's thigh.
"He probably doesn't even want my ashes, which might bring him bad
luck. Not everyone is like you, rich and stupid."

Ziyu stroked his hair. "I'm not stupid..." He said in a low voice. If
anything, he just loved him too much.

It took the transport network of Public Security Bureau 48 hours to confirm

a route; during that period of time Wenxu didn't close his eyes for a single
moment. He was weakening at a perceivable speed. He now even needed
emergency drugs in his pocket all the time.

Wenxu Jiang didn't relax at all. He spent a large amount of money getting
top specialists here from U.S., even sponsored the most advanced medical
equipment to the hospital. His plan was when Zhishu came back, he would
seamlessly get the best treatment at once. He was constantly thinking about
if he missed anything Zhishu might need.

Not until after Zhishu He left him did Wenxu Jiang started to realize what
was for fun and what the real necessity in life was. If Zhishu could stay at
his side in a good shape, he even would be happy to live the hard life as 10
years ago.

Wenxu Jiang had this coming at him. He didn't dare to miss Zhishu too
much because his heart could hurt, the physiological pain that would result
in suffocation and shock.
Wenxu Jiang booked the earliest flight the same afternoon as soon as he got
hold of the rough location. Only economy class seats were available, where
he couldn't even stretch his legs. Wenxu Jiang didn't want to screw up his
body so he took a little nap.

By the time he landed in Xiaoshan International Airport, it was over 7 p.m..

The ground was wet because the rain just stopped.

The branch office manager came to pick him up in person. Wenxu Jiang
didn't push himself too hard because he wanted to save time. If it was a few
years back, he would stay up for 72 hours for just one order.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
58

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 58: Rush to Hospital 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang hadn't been back to this place for many years. Even if there
was an important interchange meeting here, he would just send his
confidential assistant over. Before, Wenxu never gave what was behind
everything he would do a deliberation, but now he suddenly realized that he
felt guilty to Zhishu all along.

He owed Zhishu He from the start. Granted, being good to Zhishu, standing
up for Zhishu were all because of the crush on him, but more often, the
selfishness of an adolescent boy that was showy, impatiently vanity-
oriented. He would get complacent every time he saw Zhishu blush or being
evasive. He got the self-conceit when his confession of love was accepted.

Zhishu was always the silly one. He kept every little random endearment of
Wenxu's in mind and paid him back with his love wholeheartedly as if he
owed him a great debt.

Zhishu He's very first sex was on Wenxu Jiang's 18th birthday. In a shabby
cheap hotel, they did it on an old bed made of planks where god knows how
many people had had their fucks. Both of them lacked in experience;
Wenxu Jiang was impulsive and curious; Zhishu He compromised
throughout the whole thing. That time, Zhishu was really hurt, so hurt that
he couldn't even make a sound. Nor he dared because sound insulation of
the room was terrible. Zhishu had been submissive in silence, insecure and
conditioned to compromises ever since.

Wenxu Jiang didn't pretend to love Zhishu He, not even after more than 10
years, but he had always loved himself a bit more. This was why he
randomly picked Zhishu He despite the arduous future lying ahead of him,
why he looked for sex out there when Zhishu couldn't meet his desire, why
he was so possessive that he kept Zhishu restricted in the house.

But now it had come to the stage of life and death. The moment that Wenxu
had to face the consequences, he realized that he loved Zhishu slightly more
than he thought. Well, more than slightly, he loved him more than himself.
If, at this point, anyone offered the recovery of Zhishu's health at the cost of
Wenxu's career or even his life, he would agree without a second of
thought.

Wenxu's love for Zhishu never lessened; on the contrary, it built up little by
little. It started with the reckless passion of a young man, then was lost in
temptations, and now came to the awakening. For more than a decade,
Wenxu had been soaked in Zhishu's tenderness that could even melt a stone-
heart.

Wenxu's lips appeared blue. He heavily pressed his chest and took the
medicine out of his pocket.
The manager sitting on the passenger seat peeked at Wenxu through the
rearview mirror. Last time he saw his boss was at a meeting in Beijing
headquarter around this year's National Day Holiday, when the man was
spirited, bossy and confident. But only after less than six months, he looked
so dejected as if he took a hard fall from the divine pedestal. The manager
kept silent, which was discerning of him, and told the driver to head straight
to the hotel.

It was a cloudy day and it rained for a while in the afternoon. The house
was suffocatingly cold and humid.

Zhishu He's body was more sensitive than the weather forecast. For the
whole day, lassitude and a bad appetite had been holding him down.
Anything he ate, he puked them out, which made Ziyu so worried. At the
end of the day, Zhishu threw up all the honey water Ziyu fed him with, and
the vomit was even mixed with blood.

Ziyu Ai was horrified. He immediately got Zhishu in the car, raced to

hospital and had him injected ara-C.

Zhishu then slumbered at hospital. Ziyu Ai held Zhishu tightly in his arms
as he didn't want the thin bed-sheet in the ward to chill him. Ziyu was
genuinely frightened. His heart pounded so hard that he couldn't even
control the steering wheel and it was something he didn't want to
experience again.

As a long-serving doctor, he used to hate the hysterical shouts and cries of a

patient's family. He used to believe that God has his plan, what human
could do is try their best. Ziyu Ai now understood that in the most desperate
situation, no human behaviors were crazy when the one you cared the most
was dying in your arms.

If Ziyu Ai wasn't so panic that he lost his soul and his normal voice, he
probably would beg one by one for his old fellow leukemia specialists' help
to save Zhishu's life, regardless of how humiliating it might be.
Zhishu He looked better when he woke up, but remained pale-faced. Ziyu
still kept his position and was absolutely absent-minded, having no idea
where his mind wandered.

"…What's on your mind?" Zhishu asked in a weak voice.

Ziyu Ai slowly re-focused on Zhishu and smiled, "Something important."

Zhishu didn't ask more but gently pinched Ziyu's side waist, "You were in
my dream."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"What did you dream of?"

"You were standing in the distance with a sea of flowers behind you..."

"Ha, I was a flower seller, wasn’t I?"

"You were. You wouldn't ignore me when I requested a free flower

from you otherwise."

Ziyu abruptly tightened his hug, "I will give you whatever you want."

Zhishu smiled grudgingly and pushed him away, "I said that was a dream.
Don't take it so seriously. I do have a request though... Let's go home,
shall we? Hospital stinks."

Ziyu forced a smile. "Would you say yes if I kneel in front of you and
beg you to have yourself treated?" He answered after a long quiet.

"You just said whatever I want, and here you trade your dignity for my
resignation?" Zhishu looked into Ziyu's eyes, sighed with a smirk, "Come
on, what's the purpose of this anyway..."

Ziyu didn't say anything; he looked very sad, so sad that Zhishu couldn't
even bear to watch.
Zhishu's lips compressed a little and suddenly raised his head, lay a light
kiss on the end of Ziyu's lips. "…I will be yours for my next life, couldn't
you at least pretend to be happy?"
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
59

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 59: This Life, Next Life. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Ziyu's heart acutely twitched. Perhaps he should be happy. One would only
put hopes on the imaginary next life when they were driven into desperation
in this life.

This life, next life.

A promise?

That was how promises work: whether you believe it or not, the result will
be the same anyway. Why do people have to give themselves a hard time?
It was late when they went back home but the Broken Bridge on West Lake
was still bustling and noisy. Zhishu looked outside and somewhat
mesmerized. Ziyu Ai slowed the car down.

"We'll watch West Lake's night view when you get better."

Zhishu retracted his attention from outside the window and shook his head.
"No. I came out a lot at night when in school. I'd seen enough."

Ziyu didn't know what to say as he had sensed Zhishu He's despair. He was
drowned in much deeper anguish and grief than him.

Ziyu Ai gagged. Light in his eyes flickered as he drove past lamps along the
road, and eventually there were only fluids sprouting in his eyes. "Your
birthday is in half a month, I've got you a present. After that, it's the
New Year, and after the New Year, you should be able to see those
jasmine blossoms in our garden. In the following several months, koi
carps in Lingyin Lake will be at their reddest and prettiest, I heard
wishes made during that time are very likely to come true."

What the doctor said was imperceptibly incoherent. The words just seemed
to pop out of his mouth without thinking. It felt like he was afraid to be
soon late for something.

Zhishu stopped looking outside the window. He turned his head slightly to
Ziyu, still pale-faced but spiritually invigorated. His smiling face and bright
eyes remained the same as the adolescent that seemed to have never gone
anywhere.

"Everything else doesn't matter... just don't throw a cliffhanger at me

though," Zhishu pulled the hem of Ziyu's clothes and asked, "What is the
present?"

Ziyu shook his head. "Don't play this with me, no way you'll know it
before your birthday..." He paused briefly, "Unless a kiss?"

Zhishu turned away and humphed. His attitude was nowhere near tough but
so soft and girly as if an act of cuteness, which couldn't be more adorable.
Ziyu laughed. "Good! You didn't take the bait. Now even a kiss won't
tip you off."

Zhishu He didn't reply. He was exhausted and low blood glucose had kept
him dizzy the whole day. He didn't even have the strength to speak when
the weariness kicked in.

Ziyu covered his coat on him. "We left in a rush, I forgot to bring a
blanket with us. Hang in there for a moment and try not to sleep, or
else you'll wake up more tired and might catch a cold." Perhaps it was a
habit from his job, Ziyu would act like a nagging mother hen when taking
care of someone.

Zhishu listened, but the drowsiness still got the better of him. He fell asleep
as half of his face was buried in the large coat.

Ziyu slowly reclined the car seat, slowed down the car on their way back
home.

If only they could meet earlier, he wouldn't allow anyone to hurt him, they
could keep a big dog, jog along West Lake by night and shiver together, and
not give a damn about next life.

Ziyu Ai had hardly hated anyone. It seemed to be a waste of effort and

energy but he hated Wenxu Jiang to his guts. The man was cold, ungrateful
and selfish, did everything despicable to climb from the bottom to the top.
What he possessed eventually, however, meant nothing compared with
having the beloved one by his side.

[Just an interim, Jiang the scum is on his way.

There can't be another seme. Forgiveness doesn't exist.

Relax.]
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
60

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 60: A Hug of Suggestive Invite 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

The winter in the south was humid and cold, which was torturing. The
bone-chilling coldness would just seep through no matter how many layers
you wore.

Zhishu had a sneeze while getting off the car. Ziyu touched Zhishu’s hands;
his fingertips were ice-cold.

"Let's go inside, I'll turn on the dehumidifier and get you a hot-water
bag to warm up your limbs." Ziyu naturally took Zhishu's right hand and
put it into his pocket.
Zhishu leaned close to Ziyu. "Has the temperature dropped again these
days? When we were in the car, I vaguely heard that the drizzle is going
to last for the next few days from the weather forecast." He said in a
slightly hoarse voice.

Ziyu took the keys out with another hand and said gently, "It's just the
way winter is here. You have become more vulnerable to the coldness."

Zhishu flattened his lips and stopped talking anymore. He changed his
shoes, went straight into the bedroom, and turned on the lights.

When Ziyu came into the bedroom after getting everything settled out there,
Zhishu already finished his shower. He had a loose coral velvet bathrobe on
him, cuddling a cushion yawning leisurely.

"Come on, time to sleep. It's been a tiring day for you." Ziyu leaned
over, touched Zhishu's forehead with the back of his hand. His body
temperature was fine. "You ate nothing today. Wanna have something?"

"No." Zhishu shook his head.

Ziyu sat next to him on the bed, heated his hands up by rubbing to warm
Zhishu's hands. His palms were warm and dry.

"Nothing? Not feeling well anywhere? Something wrong with your

stomach?" Ziyu put one hand on Zhishu's belly after warming his hands up
and massaged expertly.

Zhishu felt much better but forced himself to stay awake. Something
seemed to be on his mind.

"What?" Ziyu noticed something as he was always on the alert. "You

gotta tell me if you aren't feeling well."

Rapid blinks of Zhishu's semi-closed eyes told the evasiveness in them.

"Shouldn't you go to sleep now?"

Ziyu was certain that something wasn't quite right but he didn't have the
heart to push for more. He just turned off the lamp and lay in bed next to
him. "Go to sleep, I'll keep you company."

There was only absolute quietness in the dark except the rhythmic sound of
light breaths. The two of them neither felt like sleeping nor had a topic to
talk about.

Ziyu didn't try to hug Zhishu. Outside in the kitchen, crystal sugar was
melting on low heat with strawberries in it, Ziyu didn't want to startle
Zhishu in his arms later when he had to get up to turn off the fire. He
backed on to Zhishu. It was a sign of nervousness, which was unusual,
because they were sleeping together like a normal couple just days ago.

In the beginning, Ziyu thought the blurry intimacy was just his
misjudgment or he was sexually repressed for too long until someone
hugged him from behind, when the doctor's mind instantaneously cleared
up.

Even the dullest man could tell the difference between a simple touch and a
suggestive invite by instinct, not to mention Ziyu Ai was a very sensitive
man.

Zhishu's hug was mild and somehow uncertain and disturbingly careful. He
was never an open man. If it wasn't in the dark, he wouldn't even have the
courage to reach out his arms.

Ziyu, on the other hand, was an open man, he had seen the world of
seduction during his playboy days but at this very moment, he froze. He
longed for it, he fantasied it... Yet now, how could he have the heart?

"Are your hands still cold?" Ziyu took his hand and put it by his waist,
"I'll warm them up again."

Zhishu abruptly retracted his hand. "Don't you want it?" his voice came
from the pitch dark sounded icy.

Ziyu went blank for a second.

No one tried to turn on the lamp. Zhishu sat up in the dark, crouched by the
headboard. "You said you liked me, didn't you?"

For an instant, Ziyu felt insulted. "So?"

"I've got nothing else. You won't even see my flesh soon enough,"
Zhishu's voice couldn't help shaking upon finishing as he spoke, which
looked like he kept not to cry. "What else do you want?"

Ziyu didn't say a word as he was now at the edge of an emotional outbreak
that could be triggered by a single syllable coming out of his mouth. The
night was biting cold and he was ruthlessly hurt.

"I wasn't as good-looking as I used to be... But you know, sooner rather
than later..." Zhishu sounded cooled down but cruelly calm, "...You know
I don't like to owe others too much."

Ziyu's heavy fingers were shivering. He felt light-headed because of oxygen

deficiency. But he managed to barely stand up to cover Zhishu with the
quilt. "Don't overthink things. Get some sleep, I need to check for the
pot." His tone was gentle.

The moment Ziyu closed the bedroom door, he lost it unexpectedly. The
entire living room was smashed even though he knew the sound insulation
of one door was practically useless.

Zhishu looked aside carefully at the scarce moonlight shining through the
gap between curtains, he had yet failed another man, even though it wasn't
his intention, even though he wanted him to bear less sentiments at their
finale.

Anger and hatred were better than deep love.

Which was good for others and himself.

Zhishu He never meant to fail others as in his family, his parents, his friends
and his lover. But at the end of the day, one person he hadn't failed was the
one hurt him the most.
Throughout his life, the one and the only man he had never failed was
Wenxu Jiang.

Zhishu He was even a letdown to himself.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
61

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 61: Jiang and Ai Met 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu stayed up all night long. He kept staring blankly at the tiny gap
through which the light came in between the curtains until dawn.

He didn't think himself a good person or deserved to be loved. He wasn't as

pretty as he used to be, wasn't as likable as he used to be, wasn't as healthy
as he used to be. However, he had been staying in the doctor's place like it
was his own house, at the same time, hurting his feelings. But he just
couldn't respond to the doctor because he didn't have the heart to see him
sink deeper.
He wished that, when he was gone, he would just be some common guy
that the doctor didn't spend too much effort pursuing, that time would cure
every wound, that the doctor would eventually be married and get back to a
normal life instead of losing a most committed love that would agonize him
for the rest of his life.

If the doctor touched him, it would be some sort of compensation, a debt

Zhishu could pay off. And if he didn't, Zhishu would keep Ziyu Ai in his
mind for however much time he had got left.

Zhishu He left the bedroom very early. The dawn was only shimmering as it
was not even six o'clock in the south of the country.

The living room had been well tidied up, not a single trace of Ziyu's
smashing from last night could be spotted. But around the room, there were
several vases missing, as well as a full exquisite set of Song Kilned tea
ware. But there was a white ceramic bowl that had melted crystal sugar and
strawberries in it sitting squarely on the tea table.

Ziyu was sitting on the sofa looking at his cellphone, he put the phone down
as soon as he saw Zhishu come out. "Wake up so early? Why didn't you
get more sleep?" He said in his daily gentle tone as if nothing happened
last night.

But Zhishu noticed the dark circles under his bloodshot eyes right away.
"Sorry…"

Ziyu chuckled, an implication of forbearance and indulgence. "Silly…" He

opened his arms to Zhishu and gave him a smile that was meant to please
him, "How could I get mad at you?"

"You stayed up all night." Zhishu frowned but walked up into the doctor's
arms anyway.

"I'm gonna get some sleep now. Together?" The "together" was explicit
and flirtatious.
Zhishu knew that the doctor was making fun of him. Not after he did a little
reflection did he realize how bold he was last night, which was so
embarrassing that his face turned beet red, from ears to neck.

Ziyu stroked his hair, "Have some strawberries, you ate nothing
yesterday."

What the doctor learned in college was what patients can or cannot eat, but
now here he became a home cook.

Zhishu He went to eat some. The strawberries were quite good, he even
took several sips of the soup.

Ziyu could tell that Zhishu had a rough night. He knew Zhishu wasn't the
type of person that tended to fail others. Heartache overwhelmed him when
he calmed down. Looking back, Ziyu Ai felt he probably was too
humiliated to stay calm, to be honest, it was not like he had never had those
thoughts before.

He wasn't blaming Zhishu at all.

Wenxu Jiang drove to Longjing Road by himself. Last night, the precise
location of Ziqian Ai's tea plantation was sent to his cellphone, he was
going to go there at once but he then hesitated.

He didn't want himself to look repulsive because of his stubble and messy
hair; also he didn't want to shock Zhishu He in the middle of the night.

He drove around West Lake for several laps last night but dared not to get
off for a walk. He didn't even need to be there in person to picture the
scenes of the past in his mind, like the bench next to the fifth willow tree at
the north of the lake was Zhishu's favorite, like he rode his bike around
West Lake in circles with Zhishu on the backseat, like his drawing of
elephants for him, the kite he made for him, like they took a boat to the
middle of the lake and he threatened him that they had to swim back if
Zhishu didn't kiss him...
Wenxu pressed hard on his nasal bridge, he told him that he wasn't allowed
to cry. He still had the chance to refurbish the rusty recollections with
Zhishu.

It only took less than half an hour to drive from Wetland Hotel of West
Lake District to Longjing Road. Wenxu didn't really know the roads in the
tea plantation areas, so he took another 40 minutes to find the place.

Ziqian Ai's plantation wasn't big; it was about 3000 square meters. The
environment was nice and it had a little lake in it. In front of the three-story
villa inside the tea plantation, there was a small parterre of jasmine
seedlings protected by white fences.

Wenxu got off the car; from outside the wires barring the tea plantation, he
saw a large golden retriever chasing something by the lake. Wenxu's vision
often got blurred lately, so he spent half a minute to recognize those little
things. Those were some cats that the dog was playing with. Zhishu He's
cats.

He climbed over a low wooden gate to get inside. He kept his lips sealed
and tried not to knock the door impatiently.

Ziyu Ai just put Zhishu in bed to get more sleep. As he came downstairs
after closing the door, he heard someone knocking on the front door. The
knocks weren't rushed but ceaseless, which was really annoying.

He saw a man in his 30s that looked quite smart as he opened the tiny
window on the burglarproof door. The man had a handsome manly face, but
only his lips looked oddly blue. Perhaps his heart wasn't doing very well.

"Who do you want?" Ziyu Ai asked.

As a sophisticated businessman, Wenxu could keep a record of everyone he

ever saw, he immediately recognized that it was the man in the CCTV
footage. He was so worked up all of sudden that veins were popping on his
forehead. "Open up."
Less chance, of course, for Ziyu to open the door. He wasn't scared but he
got Zhishu in the house. "Who are you?" He asked again.

Wenxu humphed. He suddenly banged on the door very hard but his tone
was still calm and polite, "Family name Jiang, Wenxu Jiang!"

Ziyu Ai stood still for quite a long time or at least he thought he did. The
fact was he didn't even allow Wenxu to make a second bang. He pounced
out like a leopard at the fastest speed in his entire life and he didn't forget to
shut the door.

"Fuck you, asshole!"

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
62

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 62: Let Him See Me. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu didn't see this coming, he took a hard punch on the face. And before
he could react, another fist whooshed at him. Wenxu didn't fight back, and
he managed to dodge it in an awkward way.

Wenxu Jiang wasn't a pushover, and he was always unyielding since he was
little. He never tolerated any humiliation except it was for Zhishu. But
today he just didn't want a fight with anyone, since the mess after the fight
wouldn't look good.
"I don't want to fight you," He spit the blood out of his mouth, "I'm here
to take my man home."

Ziyu was mad and sneered, "Who are you to talk to me like that?"

Wenxu frowned, "It's between us. You, an outsider, tell me that I'm in
no position to say something like that?" There were no curses but what
he said sounded harsh, like he naturally thought Ziyu was lower than him,
and like he was the one that knew and loved Zhishu the most all along.

Ziyu Ai kept silent briefly and held his impulsiveness back. He just stared
right at Wenxu with his probing eyes that bore perplexing doubts and pure
confusion.

Then he said in a quite low voice, "How did he fall for you..." What was
good about him apart from his look?

"Don't question our relationship with your shallow judgment. Give my

man back to me." Wenxu said in a cold tone, trying not to show his
accumulated guilt and pain.

Ziyu Ai, however, burst into sarcastic laughter. "Shallow judgment? Mr.
Jiang, I assume you know how Zhishu and I met, right?"

"In November, when Beijing had its first snow, he came to the hospital
for his medical report, Alone. He seemed to feel very cold despite the
thick down jacket he was wearing. I didn't ask him if he had a family
because that wasn't the first time that he came to the hospital." Ziyu
paused because of a small choke, "He was always on his own from the
very first time. No family, no friend, no lover. Bone marrow aspiration
was so painful yet he kept quiet. Later, he refused the flowers I gave
him, but eyes don't lie, I could tell he was very happy. However, he
returned the flowers to me the next day. That moment, his eyes were so
dim that no sign of hope could be traced."

Heart cramps struck Wenxu so hard that he nearly fell. He had no

impression of what Zhishu had suffered a few months ago at all. What was
he busy with back then? Going on trips, business expansion, staying out all
night... with his bitch. He did remember the flowers though, but he was the
guy that killed Zhishu's little joy and hope.

"I thought that he was alone in Beijing, that he had no one around him.
But one time, I saw a kiss mark on his neck and I learned that he had a
gay lover, so I started to have thoughts. How could I not? He was the
first one I wanted to look after with all my heart the very moment I saw
him."

Ziyu Ai stayed up all night, now the anger only added to the redness in his
bloodshot eyes. He glared at Wenxu's eyes, "You knew. You knew how
much he loved you, why didn't you let him live? He agreed to do chemo
but he stopped coming after I sent him home that day. Why did he
leave Beijing for no reason?"

Wenxu's lips shivered involuntarily. He struggled to open his mouth but

couldn't make any sound. He knew exactly what he did. He suspected that
Zhishu and the doctor were having an affair, he freaked out, he hit him, he
cursed and fucked him as rudely as a raper would do. He failed to keep Zui
Shen in control, which was the last straw to devastate Zhishu's heart.

"I know I was wrong..." Eyes dimmed, Wenxu hung his head, "Honestly,
I..."

Ziyu's hard punch cut Wenxu Jiang off. Wenxu didn't try to dodge this time.

"Too late! Huh? Don't you think?" Ziyu menacingly grabbed Wenxu by
his collar, "I give you a chance to right your wrong right now. This is
what you need to do. You love him, don't you? Go inside and talk him
into taking medical treatment! Would admitting your mistake cure
him? No!"

Ziyu panted heavily, acting opposite to his normal gentleness. "There's

something that you cannot fix by simply admitting your fault! Just one
apology would offset all the fucks you had out there? Just one apology
would make it up to him after all these years' indifference and abuse of
yours? No! You are only making yourself feel better by deceiving
yourself!"
Wenxu Jiang twitched, he collapsed as Ziyu let go of him. His lips had gone
deep purple but he forced himself to stiffen his back. Ridiculously, he was
kneeling before Ziyu Ai.

Everyone thought he wasn't that in love with Zhishu, whether it was

Jingwen Zhang or Aiqian Ai or Ziyu Ai or all of his friends. Were they
wrong or he had been living in his own lie? Wenxu lowered his head,
shying away from the sun. But in a trance, he seemed to see the boy sitting
by the window when they were young, the dainty boy who would frown
when he sunk into his thoughts; also the young man who was always
waiting for him to come home, the young man with kind and forbearing
eyes who had learned to do housewives' work over the years.

He loved Zhishu He from beginning to present. He loved the lean boy that
loved to read Zheng Jian, the young man that always tolerated him back in
the days. Zhishu He was the one and only person he had ever truly loved.

"Let him see me." It was more like a supplication than a request.

Ziyu went speechless as he stared at the man kneeling in front of him who
was at the same age as him, this "tough old weasel", according to Ziqian Ai.
He then swiftly turned around, opened the door, got inside the house and
locked the door again.

As Ziyu entered the house, he felt something different instinctively. He

looked up and saw Zhishu got out of the bedroom and stood on the second
floor, looking down through the half-covered window for maybe a long
time.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
63

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 63: The Fawning Was Pointless. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Ziyu Ai stopped breathing for a moment, he couldn't see Zhishu's look

clearly but only his emaciated figure. He stood straight and slightly aslant,
hiding still behind the thick curtains.

Ziyu got upstairs, walked quietly to Zhishu. "Want more strawberries?"

He said behind him.

Zhishu slowly turned around and looked at Ziyu with a pair of eyes
overflowing uncontainable emotions that were so complicated that Ziyu Ai
couldn't even read. He shook his head, said nothing, and went straight back
to his bedroom.

The moment he walked past him, Ziyu suddenly grabbed him by his wrist.
"Don't go... please?"

Zhishu He stopped and smiled, his eyes were gentle though. "You asked
me to take a nap and now I can't?"

Ziyu Ai eased his grip, he lowered his head, pressed his lips, like a kid
being forced to do the things he hated. At last, he mumbled, "Would you
like to meet him... I... I'm okay with it."

Ziyu Ai knew that Zhishu He loved Wenxu Jiang; he also knew that Zhishu
He had a soft heart, that he might not come back again once the two of them
met again. But he still respected his choice. Because he loved him, he didn't
want him to live the last bit of his life regretfully and unhappily, and didn't
want him to compromise too much.

Zhishu, instead, asked him back with surprise, "Why would I want to
meet him?"

Zhishu still remembered clearly the day that he decided to leave. He

watched Wenxu walking away from upstairs; he just wanted to see his face
but that man never looked back. Since Zhishu didn't get what he wanted,
now Wenxu Jiang wouldn't either.

Indeed, he had a soft heart, but that was before. Something was late, then it
was late, nothing could fix it. You couldn't ask a cup of cold water to steam,
could you? Zhishu He found out that Wenxu was as cheap as him because
they both tended to fawn on others after being given cold shoulder.

The fawning was pointless.

Zhishu turned around. With a merciless yank, he sealed the thick window
shades. "So tired, I'll go get some sleep. Oh... Just ignore him and don't
hit him again. Wenxu Jiang is the cruelest when he means to harm
you."
Ziyu got tongue-tied. He watched Zhishu slowly walk away, decisively
leaving the past behind. He couldn't tell whether he was feeling lucky or
disappointed. Ziyu was afraid to see Zhishu leave him but it was Zhishu’s
detachment to the world that really dismayed him. Wenxu Jiang and Ziyu
Ai finally had something in common; that was either of them was able to
keep Zhishu around. At this point, Zhishu He couldn't care less whether the
love was true or fake, whether he was hurt or loved. He was just apathetic.

Wenxu was still kneeling outside the door; he just shoveled the medicine
into his mouth with his trembling hand. He didn't care if he took too much.
Perhaps, more medicine could better relieve the heart pain.

His head was messed up. One second ago, he saw a boy handing him a
bunch of jasmines, and the next second, he saw the pair of sad,
heartbreaking eyes that haunted and tortured him for countless nights.

"Zhishu... Don't leave me..." Wenxu's eyes were slightly wet. "Don't go
too far, I... I can't even keep up..."

In 2003, the night Wenxu took Zhishu back from quarantine area, he held
Zhishu tight in his arms, muttering similar words again and again, "Don't
go too far... What if something happens to you, how am I going to live
my life..."

Wenxu now realized that without Zhishu, he couldn't live his life anymore.

Zhishu He sat on the bed with a head full of the scene of Wenxu Jiang
kneeling in front of the door back straight. That was pathetic and funny.

Wenxu Jiang had his chances. For three years, Zhishu had nearly knelt to
beg Wenxu not to stay out all night for some meaningless stuff and not to
turn him into another person for the sake of their past almost in tears.

But he disappointed himself.

Sometimes, disappointment is more despairing than the end of love.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
64

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 64: Police Came 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Ziyu Ai called the police, saying Wenxu Jiang was trespassing and
attempted to murder. Ziyu Ai had kept the relationship with one of his
brother's high school classmates who had become the deputy director of the
local police force. Now that Ziyu Ai reached out to him, given to their
relationship, of course Wenxu Jiang was at least going to be detained for 24
hours.

As sirens wailed, two police cars rushed over, flashing intimidating red and
blue light. But Wenxu Jiang totally ignored the incoming shrill sirens.
Looking up into the sky, his face oddly tempered. As though he had seen
through concrete, Wenxu Jiang spotted his love all at once in spite of the
dazzling distractive world.

It was a bewildering scene to the policemen. The man looked more like a
victim as they stood behind this man's back, watching him kneeling on the
ground. Sadness seemed to have weighed the silent man down. One officer
went to get him up rather politely. "Please, come with us."

Wenxu Jiang got up slowly and looked them in cold eyes. "Where?" He
asked.

"Someone reported that you were trespassing. Please be cooperative."

This was apparently a trivial civil dispute that they had seen a lot. Normally,
they just needed to follow the routine, then the troublemaker would be in
and out real quick, but this time, the superior seemed to take this case so
seriously that they were required to bring the handcuffs with them.

Wenxu Jiang suddenly took a step back, which indicated that he was afraid.
He was afraid that Zhishu would leave right after he was taken away, that
he would lose him forever.

The policemen thought he was trying to resist or escape, they charged at

him and pinned him on the ground. As a man who had been bossy for years,
once again, Wenxu Jiang was brought down by weakness and helplessness.

"Zhishu He! Zhishu He!" Wenxu almost screamed his lungs out, "You
don't want me anymore?! You said you would never leave me!"

Wenxu Jiang crazily shook the policemen off and banged his body on the
dead-shut door and screamed with a touch of sobbing in his tone, "Zhishu,
it was my bad! I know I screwed up! Just let me see you, would you? I
just want to see you... Please... Don't do this to me!"

Everyone just looked confusedly at one another without realizing that the
man needed to be taken away.

"How can you abandon me, am I right?" Wenxu Jiang collapsed by the
door, muttering to himself, "In this world... The only person that
wouldn't leave me... is Zhishu He..."

On the second floor, one window in the bedroom was open so Zhishu He
could hear Wenxu Jiang loud and clear. He sneered, face covered in tears.
The man still remembered that he said he would never leave. But when he
called Zhishu Zui Shen, when he was in his arms... would there be a
moment that he sobered up and reminded himself that he promised never to
fail Zhishu He?

Zhishu He was always there, waiting. Waiting to be together with Wenxu

who wasn't supposed to fail him forever.

Ziyu Ai knocked and came in with water and pills in his hands. He heard
the noise. He saw the window was open, so he put things down, went to
close the window. "It's cold."

The whole world was shut out. A few minutes later, the same sirens faded
away into distance until silence once again froze the room.

"Are you tired? I know you are having rough nights lately. Take some
pills and go to sleep," Ziyu Ai handed the water and pills to Zhishu He,
"Get a nice sleep. It'll cheer you up."

Zhishu He didn't take the pills. "You are lying to me." He had gone
through the hardest nights by himself; every night was cold and painful.
And the next morning, everything was still the same; the other half of the
bed was still ice-cold, leaving more and deeper scars on his heart.

Ziyu Ai quieted down. He stared at Zhishu He in sorrow and pity. He

seemed to have fought himself so hard to lay his fingertip on Zhishu's
canthus. "No more tears, shall we?"

Zhishu He now realized that the fluids were overflowing. His heart told
himself to let go but his traumatized body couldn't forget the pain. It was a
conditioned reflex.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
65

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 65: Being Kept in Custody 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Ziyu Ai tried to hug Zhishu. It was simply a gesture of solace that meant to
warm and support him. But the moment Ziyu Ai reached out his arms,
Zhishu intuitively and imperceptibly dodged.

Ziyu Ai's arms awkwardly hung in the air,; he looked down on the ground
without making a sound. He could no longer conceal the heavy weariness.
No matter how much he cared for Zhishu, he was still a man that he knew
for less than six months, so how could he ever compete with the one Zhishu
He had known for 15 years? Even though he didn't say anything, he didn't
show any signs, the struggling and the sadness in Zhishu He's eyes couldn't
lie.

Zhishu He's love was unswerving all along. The next life was unpredictable
but in this life, all he loved was that one person and that person alone.

Ziyu Ai had done everything right. He had been as dedicated as Wenxu

Jiang used to be, he had kept Zhishu He's company for the last several
months. What he didn't have was the memory Zhishu and Wenxu had
created together but it was no matter of sequence. Perhaps God just had his
own plan.

"Sorry, Doctor Ai," Zhishu He sensed the awkwardness in the air, "I..."

Ziyu Ai shook his head and forced a smile, "Zhishu, let's go to

Yangzhou." He didn't explain why but both of them knew the reason-
Wenxu Jiang had known this place and that man wouldn't be kept in
custody forever.

Zhishu also shook his head but he wasn't saying no. "Doctor... Before we
leave, can I ask for some help?"

There still seemed to be a distance between them.

"Sure, anything you want." Ziyu Ai didn't give another answer, he just
held the bitterness down.

...

Wenxu had been in custody for about 6 hours and he answered every
question he was asked. When he was left alone, he just watched the willows
in the breeze through the half-opened gate, head tilted.

He didn't see Zhishu He today and even the thought of the name "Zhishu
He" made him want to cry.

He saw his young enemy though, the gentle, polite doctor, the man went
berserk when hearing the name "Wenxu Jiang". He suddenly realized that
everything he had done to Zhishu He was unforgivable evil in the eyes of a
man that genuinely cared for Zhishu.

But of course, Wenxu Jiang knew.

Zhishu He was cut off from his parents, his school, and his friends because
he took him away. Wenxu Jiang was supposed to make it up to him with
love and guilt, to make him happier than anyone else so that Zhishu He
wouldn't regret anything when he reminisced the past. Zhishu He was loved
by his grandpa, disciplined by his parents, placed high hopes by his
teachers.

However, here he ended up in misery.

What Wenxu Jiang did was more than evil. After a little thought, he
mumbled the word "fiendish".

He did more than one bad thing to Zhishu He; every one of them was cruel.

After Wenxu Jiang went through everything from beginning to end, he

admitted that Zhishu He had never enjoyed one happy day with him. Zhishu
He never complained about the hard life at the beginning of their
relationship. In summers, he had heat strokes while developing business; in
winters, his hands suffered frostbites in the freezing winds. Afterwards,
Wenxu Jiang kept Zhishu at home and expanded business on his own, he
didn't have lovers at the time but that was a suffocating time for Zhishu He.
And then, Wenxu Jiang turned into a whole different person.

Persons like Zhishu He was soft; he wouldn't make a sound no matter how
many damages he was undertaking. No one knew how painful he was
unless he couldn't take anymore when he was at his last gasp.

Wenxu Jiang gently stroked the plain ring on his third finger. Knowing the
fact that he had failed the one he loved the most in his life was so
despairing that he couldn't even shed a tear.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
66

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 66: Visiting the Cemetery 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He asked the doctor to take him to the cemetery, Anxian Cemetery
in Hangzhou, where his parents were buried. This had always been the pain
that hid in the depth of his heart, the pain he didn't want to bring up.

The sky was drizzling. The wind blew tiny raindrops on the windows of the
car that parked outside the cemetery.

"Shall I wait for you outside?" Ziyu Ai passed Zhishu He his coat and got
off the car to grab an umbrella in the trunk.
Zhishu He didn't move; he lowered his head, hands covering his face, body
quivering. He dared not to visit his parents. Nor did he think he was
entitled.

He wanted to visit the old house but he didn't in the end. That house was
sold to someone else a long time ago and it was refurbished, leaving no
trace of the old owners at all. Zhishu He was the one sold the house after his
parents died, then he used the money to cover the down payment for their
house in Beijing.

Zhishu He figured that he and Wenxu Jiang might be the same type of
person that said sorry just for show while making amends by telling
themselves how guilty they were. The type of person that was selfish and
always hurt the ones that loved them.

Ziyu Ai opened the door and held the umbrella for Zhishu. "I'll go in there
with you." Zhishu He was carrying more burdens than anyone could
imagine, the doctor felt unsettled to leave him to deal with all the pain by
himself so that he couldn't sleep at nights.

Zhishu He slowly raised his head; his eyes looked timid and somehow
evasive. “I'll... go?" He was asking the doctor, but it was more like he was
trying to find himself an excuse to not go.

Ziyu Ai tended to resign himself to Zhishu and he would always say

something like ‘we can do it next time when you feel better’, but this time,
he said nothing. He wanted Zhishu to untie the knot in his heart in the last
days of his life.

‘There's something that you need to face up to.’

"Put on your coat, I'll walk you in there." Ziyu said in a gentle tone.

Zhishu heavily rubbed his temples and eventually got off the car. Standing
at the entrance of the cemetery, he saw the layers and layers of gravestones
lining up on the vast grassland in distance; suddenly, he stumbled.
Ziyu hurried to steady him with one hand while holding the umbrella with
another. "Are you okay?"

Zhishu shook his head. "Let's get in."

His parents' grave wasn't easy to locate so Zhishu He searched for the right
one based on his vague memory. One grave after another, the sadness and
hopelessness became heavier and heavier.

The large black umbrella Ziyu was holding moved back and forth in rain
quietly and solemnly.

At last, Zhishu stood still before a marble gravestone as if he had an electric

shock. His face started to pale; his lips were shivering. It took him a while
to recover, then he slowly turned around to push the doctor away and barely
made a sound. "Give me some space," He asked, "Could you?"

"Sure," Ziyu Ai totally understood it, "Here, take the umbrella."

Zhishu He put on a sad smile and shook his head, "I don't even deserve an
umbrella here." Step by step, he walked into the rain and got close to the
death manifestation of his parents'.

Only two steps away from that gravestone, Zhishu He abruptly knelt down
on the cold wet cement floor as if he was hit by something heavy. He didn't
get up and looked down for a while, then kowtowed intensely all of a
sudden.

"Dad, Mom... It was my fault..." Zhishu He was biting his under-lip so

hard that it bled and his apologies were squeezed out along with the blood,
"Sorry... Sorry... Sorry..."

Zhishu was unable to cry because he had cried so much for Wenxu Jiang
that he had run out of tears. His red eyes seemed like bleeding, he could
neither hold back nor let go of the guilt in them.

No matter how big fights he and Wenxu Jiang would have, Zhishu He never
mentioned his parents' death to show how pitiful he was. He didn't mention
it because he didn't blame Wenxu Jiang. The only person that should take
the blame... was himself.

Countless nights, countless awakenings. All he could see was a roomful of

pitch black while gnashing the back of his own hand. Zhishu He never let
someone else share the burden on his conscience, he blamed himself all
along. Every time he was hurt or felt tired out, the pain doubled, but he
knew clearly that he wouldn't have another home that was always there
waiting for him.

"Mom... Sorry... I always made you worry. I know how disappointed

you were... You must have wondered how come a kid that was so good
when he was little... abandoned you for a man..." Zhishu He sounded
choked but there were no tears in his eyes. Looking carefully, there was
only blood. "I... I've been missing the sweet dumplings you made for 15
years... Cou…could you make those sweet dumplings for me one more
time when you aren't mad at me anymore, mom?"

"Mom! Don't ignore me... If you are still in a sulk, just hit me..." Zhishu
He suddenly stopped talking; his eyes looked less cloudy. He smiled in
bitterness, "Dad, mom's ignoring me."

The man and woman in the black-and-white photo were smiling mildly.
They seemed to have passed their grace and gentleness on to their son, but
now, all they've got was this grave.

It was a cruel fact that you just don't get the lost ones back, whether you can
accept it or not.

"Dad, it must have been hard for you to take care of mom in the last
decade... She's a timid and dainty woman; she must be scared of the
darkness six feet under... Dad, you gotta bear with her. Soon... Soon I'll
be protecting the both of you..." Zhishu He said quietly, "I won't upset
you again... Honestly, I won't keep you waiting so long again..."

Ziyu Ai's fingernail pierced his palm as he saw Zhishu He kneeling in rain
yet he dared not to interfere. But he had a strong feeling that Zhishu He
couldn't go on like this. He didn't quite know how his parents died but he
knew any normal human being couldn't bear the torture of being separated
from family, not to mention that Zhishu He was a patient in a fraught
mental state.

Ziyu Ai walked up to him and sheltered Zhishu with the umbrella.

"Zhishu, let's go home, " Still, he said, "We'll visit them again when you
get better."

Surprisingly, Zhishu didn't insist on staying. With Ziyu's help, he struggled

to get up and started to walk slowly. Only after three steps, Zhishu looked
back at the photo and there he smiled like a kid purely and innocently.
"Dad, mom, wait for me." He said to himself.

Zhishu He's smile, however, jerked Ziyu Ai's heart. "Your clothes are all
wet. Are you cold?" He said sadly and helplessly.

Zhishu He stayed silent all the way back to the car.

Ziyu turned up the heat and wiped gently Zhishu's face and hair with a dry
towel without knowing what to say.

Zhishu looked up at Ziyu for quite a while, and then said with a warm
smile, "I feel so relieved, just like getting rid of the stone weighing me
down. I feel so light right now..." Before he finished his sentence, he
closed his eyes and fell into sleep.

That just shocked Ziyu. Zhishu's face was ice-cold, but near his neck, his
body temperature was terrifyingly hot.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
67

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 67: His Dignity Collapsed After So Long 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Ziyu had sat in hospital overnight and Zhishu He was still in sleep. During
his sleep, it seemed the doctor was about to make some sort of conclusive
declaration through his prevarication.

Ziyu Ai didn't listen. "Sorry, I am also a doctor." Both of them knew what
he meant. He didn't need the truth, all he wanted to hear was good news. He
wasn't deceiving himself; he simply wanted to ease his pain.

Ziyu Ai entered the ward to check Zhishu up a few times but he didn't dare
to touch him. Nor he sentimentally poured his feelings out. He just wanted
to look at this man's face, wondering why he was so pale and how much
pain a man's heart could take. Is this world so cruel that it must torture this
fine man for fun?

5 a.m., Ziyu Ai was in light sleep alone on the hospital hallway bench. His
cellphone's constant buzzes suddenly woke him up.

It was a strange number.

"Hello, who is it?" His voice was hoarse.

"It's me, Wenxu Jiang," There came a deep and sedate voice with a touch
of unusual humbleness, "Please don't hang up."

Ziyu Ai sneered, "Out already? President Jiang."

Wenxu Jiang coughed before he caught his breath. "I'm calling to beg
you." His voice sounded weak.

This was the word Wenxu Jiang rarely said throughout his life. He was a
proud man, he grew up with that arrogance. Even when toasting important
figures on tables at his humblest moment, he still kept up his appearances.
He said the word though, to Zhishu, like a compromise that meant to spoil
him, not forced at not.

An unyielding man's begging is even more surprising.

"You give him back to me, you can have whatever you want. Your
brother has been craving for Tianqi Market for a long time, I can give
up my shares if there's too much trouble," He paused and coughed again,
"I have got the best expert and equipment in Beijing ready for him,
better than what he's got in Hangzhou anyway..."

"Do you think I need your money?" Ziyu Ai interrupted him rudely, eyes
all red, "Do you think I can't give him the best medical resources?"

"When you were sick of him, you didn't give a fuck about him, leaving
him to perish by himself. Now you suddenly want him back again? Do
you think you are the center of the world?" Ziyu Ai chuckled.
After the long silence on the other side of the phone, a surprisingly aged
sorrowful voice came to his ear, "I love him, I can't live without him..."
Maintaining his dignity in the conversation with his lover rival didn't matter
anymore to Wenxu Jiang, "I know I screwed up."

Looking at the cold, snow-white wall in the hospital suffused the strong
smell of disinfectant, Ziyu Ai felt more and more despair. "You screwed
up. You are now making amends. You've figured out your true love.
And then what? Will he go with you or will he get better? Do you
honestly think you are a big-timer of Beijing? If you were earnest and
telling me that you had found the marrows that match Zhishu's, I
would immediately drive 14 hours to send him to Beijing. But you
can't."

Ziyu suddenly lowered his voice and started to choke. "You can't... And I
can't either," He said, "I traded my dignity for the marrows, but Zhiqi
Li's son took them away effortlessly because he is the son of the mayor.
I'd rather you were more powerful so that you could also rob some
marrows!"

Wenxu Jiang didn't even realize Ziyu hung up the phone. For a moment, he
thought he was a fish, the fish tank crashed so there he waited to be dried.
His brain was so in need of oxygen that it was now in chaos. He didn't have
a clue.

He always remembered that day he came home in a weirdly good mood,

which was the same day he hit Zhishu the hardest. More flashbacks, what
was he fucking happy about that day? Right, the mayor's son's lover had the
chance to survive, the mayor's son helped him nail the bids.

That was it.

This kind of coincidence is funny and pathetic at the same time.

Wenxu Jiang collapsed on the sofa as if all of his strength was drained up;
his chest went up and down hard. The cramps surged yet Wenxu didn't
reach to his pills. He let himself tremble in agony, let his eyes blur.
He was always happy about the wrong things, enthusiastic about the wrong
things, and gave the wrong things cold shoulder.

Ziyu Ai hung up. He felt waves and waves of headaches. He had kept up for
two days, Wenxu Jiang's call just made him more tired. He didn't just rip off
Wenxu Jiang's scab, he deepened the cut on his own heart.

He took a look at his watch, it was half past five. He decided to make the
call now in case of the inconvenience when Zhishu's awake.

"What?" A fuzzy and light snort. Ziyu Ai had interrupted a heavy sleep.

"Brother, it's me..." Ziyu Ai thought he'd better give his brother a call
since Wenxu Jiang would surely contact his brother after getting a refusal
from him.

"Yu?" Ziqian Ai kept a low voice. It loudened more than ten seconds later;
probably he was out of his bedroom, "I got two phone calls in such an
early morning. Your in-law is a light sleeper. She was disturbed twice."

"Sorry, brother... I just want you to do me this favor. If Wenxu Jiang

calls you..."

"Oh, yeah, my wife's pregnant." Ziqian Ai cut him off, "We went to the
hospital two days ago. A boy and a girl. Dad and mom are super happy
so they are so easy on me now. They stop pushing me to make money
for you to have a baby."

Ziyu Ai immediately understood what he meant. He felt warm inside.

"Brother, thanks..." He reckoned his brother had got Wenxu Jiang's call
before he called him but he kept his mouth shut about that part.

"Yu, just be good. Our family's got me. I have quite a few regrets, I just
wish you to be happy," Ziqian Ai said to him gently, "Just remember,
I'm always there for you. You are always the most important person to
me."
Ziyu Ai hung up the phone and rubbed his bloodshot eyes hard. The call
was heartwarming. He thought, ‘Good, finally I could be at ease. Zhishu
and I could probably enjoy a rather long peaceful time.’
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
68

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 68: Leaving Hospital 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

It was just bright when Zhishu He woke up. Ziyu Ai sat next to him,
looking very exhausted but as soon as he saw him wake up, he became
cheerful.

"You wake up?" Ziyu Ai stood up, felt Zhushu's forehead, "Still hot. I
know you feel bad." A doctor just came over for his infusion. Ziyu Ai
thought it was too cold so he insisted on having it warmed. The doctor
hadn't come back yet.
Zhishu He opened up his mouth as he looked at him, but grunted. He
frowned and tried hard to wrinkle his fingers.

Ziyu Ai hurried to hold his hand. "Don't worry," He could tell Zhishu had
something to say to him so he bent over, "I'm listening."

Zhishu He smiled, his hoarse voice was so light that could hardly be heard
but explicitly conveyed the joy. "I dreamed of my parents... I haven't
seen them in ages, I thought... Ahem, I thought they didn't want me
anymore..."

Ziyu Ai looked straight into his eyes, his brown pupils filled with care and
love. "You are such a sweet son to them, they wouldn't."

Zhishu He smiled again. He hadn't smiled so frequently in many years. He

did smile a lot when he was still a carefree student in school.

Ziyu stroked his hair. "Come on, when shall we go to Yangzhou?"

Zhishu's sunshiny smile somehow tried to be endearing. It was so

heartening that the ward didn't felt cold and depressing anymore. "I
thought I was going to beg you for quite long."

"Not many people spoil you like I do, right?" Ziyu Ai kissed his cheek,
trying to conceal his despair with his tease.

He knew how severe Zhishu's condition was. He was terrified himself.

There were only two options: one, to watch him suffer in the sterile ward
for the rest of his days; two, to have him carry on living at his side happily.
Ziyu chose option two.

He did have many things to say to him. He wanted to tell him how luxuriant
and fragrant April jasmines would be but it was now winter. But four
months later, they would be available.

Ziyu Ai had also been waiting for Zhishu's birthday, which was less than a
month. He had designed a ring. It was like a weighted twig with tiny
diamonds at the tip of it.
But looking at Zhishu's face, he kept sniffling instead of saying a word.

‘How come one person could be so in love with another person who is the
only one that glows among thousands of souls? If someone you don't care
dies next to you, you at most give a couple of more sighs. But when
someone you truly love is in sickbed with teary poor eyes, you feel so
painful inside.’

Ziyu Ai didn't understand. This man was the only one he ever loved despite
he would cost the rest of his life.

"How about we leave today? We gotta go home and get the dog and
cats though." Zhishu had a cold. Every sentence he said, he coughed.

Ziyu Ai pinched his finger, said in a mild tone, "Wait until you finish the
rest two bottles of infusions. We spent money on that."

Zhishu He didn't want to stay in the hospital but didn't want to throw cold
water on his kindness.

Next second, a slender finger poked lightly his cheek. Zhishu He froze, he
heard Ziyu's helpless voice saying, "No dimples whether you smile or
twitch your mouth." His face emaciated so fast, and the dimples were
gone long time ago.

"I don't want them anyway. Why does a man need dimples? I don't
want to be sweet." He smiled.

Ziyu Ai didn't reply because the doctor just came in to change his infusion
bottle.

"Thank you." Ziyu Ai looked at the warmed bottle, impressed by his

sincerity. He was also a doctor, so he knew how busy this line of work was.
If it wasn't for Zhishu He, he would not want to trouble any medical
workers.

"It's fine. We are both doctors." The doctor smiled and walked away. As
he left, he looked sympathetically at Zhishu He and before he walked out of
the door, his eyes were fixated on Ziyu Ai. Ziyu felt the cold touch of the
eyes was so difficult to be ignored.

Afternoon, Ziyu took Zhishu out of the hospital. He bought him a cup of
soybean milk outside the building. "You had nothing yesterday. Empty
stomach courts more discomfort." Street food wasn't the best, in Ziyu
Ai’s mind, he was picturing the fully equipped apartment in Yangzhou
where he could make fresh soybean milk for Zhishu.

Since he was with Zhishu, Ziyu had more and more snacks in his car,
mostly Chinese dates or Ejiao (donkey-hide gelatin) or whatnot. Zhishu
teased him, "If someone else is in your car, they may think of you a
super girlfriend-carer."

Ziyu Ai laughed, "Don't I care you enough?" His last syllables still
sounded cheeky.

Zhishu He wasn't feeling well and he knew he wouldn't win the debate so
he just sat there coughing instead of giving a response.

Suddenly, he had intense coughs that even shocked himself. He turned back
to get a tissue at the backseat and spit blood on it.

Ziyu Ai's face turned undecipherable.

"Oral hemorrhage," Zhishu He wadded up the tissue and stuffed it into

his pocket, "It's fine. I would puke blood covering the floor before. But
here I am, still alive and well."

‘Silly, are you... well?’

"Yeah, whatever you say is right," Ziyu Ai's cheerful tone indulged
Zhishu but he couldn't even bear to look at him, "I'll cook you some livers
to enrich your blood then."

Human memory is powerful. Reflexes came in at the wrong time.

Reminiscence caught Zhishu He totally off guard.
There once was a man walking out with a long face after their fight. When
he came back, he had cooked livers in his hand, which he said were the
replenishment of blood for Zhishu's nosebleed.

Memory and reflexes overpower love.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
69

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 69: A Message From Jiang 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

When you really loved someone, you wouldn’t care whether it ended up
with resentment or despair. When you were in a particular scene, when your
memories were recalled, all you could think of is the delicious meals he had
cooked for you, the snow you had watched together with him hand in hand,
and the grand bouquet of “baby's breath” that he had handed to you with a
smile.

It was not his cold words or his violence that you would call to mind.
It was not about whether you were over him. It was not about mindless love
or pleading for love. It was always the instinct of all living creatures to seek
benefit and avoid harm.

Zhishu He got quiet suddenly as he usually did. Ziyu Ai Stopped chatting

too, and just drove quietly.

At this moment, a sound came from his phone indicating a text message
was received. The phone was right by his hand. Ziyu Ai opened the mailbox
while driving.

After one glance of the message, Ziyu Ai got serious. He glanced at Zhishu
He discreetly who was looking out of the window in fascination.

It was a text message from Wenxu Jiang.

“I'm in Beijing now. I won't be back until I find matching bone

marrow. He is unwell. Stop taking him go places just to avoid me.
Please take care of him.”

Ziyu Ai deleted the message and threw the phone into the back seat. He was
very upset; all kinds of emotions were stirred up. He hated Wenxu Jiang’s
tone in the text message. It was like that Wenxu Jiang was biting the bullet,
and Ziyu Ai himself was the one tearing the loving couple apart. Ziyu Ai
thought it was funny. Had he no shame to ask me to take care of Zhishu He?

But Ziyu Ai knew Wenxu Jiang well. If he said he will not go back, then he
won't. If there was a choice, Ziyu Ai was reluctant to drag Zhishu He on the
road to Yangzhou.

The car stopped at the tea garden. Ziyu Ai opened the car door and reached
his arms out to carry Zhishu He, “Hurry up. Before the dog comes and
pounces upon you.”

As he carried Zhishu He in his arms, he felt Zhishu got thinner than before
at the hospital. His shoulder blades and collarbones stuck out, skinny and
even scary. The bruises from his neck to his armpits extended to his back
and almost jointed together.
It was windy and cold. Zhishu He was coughing weakly in Ai’s arms.

“Are you cold?” Ziyu Ai stood at the door while Zhishu He was unlocking
the door with his fingerprint.

Zhishu He answered him with a low voice, “I don't mind the cold. I just
can't bear the damp.”

Ziyu Ai carried him to the couch and squatted to change him into cotton-
padded slippers. “You stay here and watch some TV. I'll go find the
dehumidifier and the fan heater.”

Zhishu He nodded his head obediently. When he looked down, he looked

into the pair of brown eyes which were soft and tender like enchanted.
Zhishu He stroked Ziyu Ai’s hair gently, like…petting a big dog.

Ziyu Ai was stunned a little; then he held He’s hand and stood up slowly,
kissing He on his cheeks, “Well, You’ve learned to seduce me?”

Zhishu He blushed. He looked away awkwardly, “At most…it is like

seducing a dog.”

“Then I'll bite you!” Ziyu Ai’s growling made Zhishu He laugh.

“Quick, go find the machines.” Zhishu He frowned a little bit, which

totally seized Ai’s heart, “I can't bear the damp.”

Ziyu Ai went to find them obediently and found them soon after. He
brought them to the living room, laid them around Zhishu He at an
appropriate distance. “You just rest here. I'll go fix you some food.”

Zhishu He was holding a cushion in his arms, looking up at him, “We don't
go to Yangzhou anymore?”

“Of course not. Who would look after the jasmines in your garden if we
go?” Ziyu Ai turned around and went to the kitchen, leaving his voice
behind his back, “You don't have to worry about anything but yourself. I'm
here for you.”
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
70

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 70: Before Jiang Left... 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

The better Ziyu Ai treated him, the harder for Zhishu He to accept him. On
one hand, Zhishu He didn't want to hold him back. On the other hand, more
importantly, Ziyu Ai was too much like Wenxu Jiang in his previous days.

The tender way he looked at him with a smile and doting eyes; the great
commitment and deep loving he had been showing discreetly towards him.
It was all so shockingly familiar.

Zhishu He remembered the time when the college entrance examination

was around the corner, his mother learned about the affairs between him
and Wenxu Jiang. His mother, the gentlest woman usually, picked up a
broom to lash him. Wenxu Jiang pulled him into his arms and shielded him
with his body completely.

He said, “It is all my fault. Please don't punish him.” He didn't flinch. He
shielded him from his mother's greatest pain and anger.

And then he leaned towards Zhishu He, and said the words Zhishu could
never forget, “Don't be afraid. I'm here.”

So Zhishu He could only have the strength to never forgive Wenxu Jiang.
But he could never be able to forsake all the memories and deep love they
had had.

It was so unfair to Ziyu Ai.

Wenxu Jiang went to Anxian Cemetery the day before he left. For half an
hour, he kneeled before Zhishu He’s parents’ graves, and burned paper
money for them.

He flattened every piece of the paper money and threw them into the fire.
His fingers were quivering uncontrollably. It seemed like Wenxu Jiang had
gotten 10 years older in an instant. The emaciation of his cheeks and his
tired eyes showed no sign of the former untamed wildness.

His face was a little darkened by the roasting fire. His voice was low as if
he was afraid to disturb their spirits underground, “I…”

He paused a little bit to constrain his crying, “If I knew it would come to
this, I would never have come near Zhishu He from the start…”

Getting away from him and watching him to get a better life. He would be
admitted to a great medical school and get a girlfriend. He would become a
doctor after graduation. Even though Zhishu He might not be happy, but at
least, Wenxu Jiang would not be the cause of his unhappiness.
Wenxu Jiang knew that he didn't deserve Zhishu He. He was selfish. After
being flattered for such a long time, he thought he deserved all the flashy
new things he wanted. So he went wild, and became a playboy who didn't
remember home. But to think of it now, if he didn't have Zhishu He by his
side from the beginning to the end, he was nobody, nothing.

When he reached out and grabbed nothing he realized he had burned out all
the paper money he got. He pulled himself back to reality and kowtowed to
their graves, “I know you must miss Zhishu. But please don't take him
away this early…” Wenxu Jiang didn’t want that for Zhishu He’s short
life. Zhishu’s life was hard when he was loved, while his life got better,
there was no one to love him. He knew he could never compensate all the
things Zhishu He had lost, but he would do whatever he can. And for the
rest, he would make it up to him in the next life.

It is 1200 kilometers from Hangzhou to Beijing. And in every inch of it, I'm
missing you, Zhishu.

Wenxu Jiang looked down through the porthole of the plane, where he
could see nothing but clouds. The loneliness hit him at this instant. He used
to think that he was powerful and fearless. It was only because he had
Zhishu He by his side.

Wenxu Jiang was great at pretending. He pretended he was fierce and

strong. But in fact, he matured too late. Zhishu He had always been
indulging him, tolerating him. From the moment they got together till the
end he decided to leave him, Zhishu He Had never embarrassed him at all.

Zhishu He was always tender and soft. Even after all the lonely nights, all
the suffering Jiang put him through, and all the pain caused by his disease,
he only looked at him dearly and hugged him tightly when he was leaving.

But still Jiang let him go first.

If every time you were about to lose someone, you could just hold them
tighter, how much less regrets you would have in your life.
It was 7:30 when Wenxu Jiang arrived in Beijing. Just getting out of the
plane, he felt the biting coldness of the northern winter. The cold wind at
night could pierce your bones.

His assistant Song came to pick him up, and brought him a warm coat.

“Where is Jingwen now? On his honeymoon?” Wenxu Jiang put on the

coat and asked.

His assistant thought for a moment and recalled the vague impression, “Mr.
Zhang is still in Beijing. His bride's grandfather is dying.”

Wenxu Jiang looked at his watch and said, “Go wait for me in the car. I
want to give Jingwen a call.”

His assistant answered and took away his luggage.

Wenxu Jiang leaned on the wall diagonally; he was too tired to stand
straight. He rested for half a minute, then he took out his phone and called
Jingwen.

“Wenxu?” Jingwen Zhang picked up quickly and asked, “Where are

you?”

Wenxu Jiang lowered his head and pinched his nose, “I'm back in
Beijing.”

“Then…”

“Don't ask.” Wenxu Jiang interrupted Jingwen Zhang because he didn't

want to bring up the pain. “Do me a favor, please.”
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
71

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 71: In the Cost of Zhishu's Life 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang's voice came from the other side of the phone with a touch of
nonchalance, "Do you know about Zhiqi Li's son?"

"Zekun Li?" Jingwen Zhang sounded solemn, "Why do you wanna

know about him? Even combining all of us, we can do nothing about
him. His dad is a ministry director."

"The boy is kind of a mystery. He had leukemia too. He had the bone
marrow that matched his but that was the one Ziyu Ai got for Zhishu."
Wenxu loosened his collar agitatedly, pushed the door and walked outside
in big steps.

Assistant Song got off the car and opened the car door for him in a hurry.

Wenxu Jiang grabbed a pack of Zhonghua cigarettes from the backseat,

took one out and ignited it. "I'll find him tomorrow," He gave Assistant
Song a gesture, "Go back that apartment beside fourth ring-road."

"Wenxu," Jingwen Zhang lowered his voice, quite imperceptibly,

"Whatever it will end, you'd better kill that thought; they won't be
very sensible. Something you might not know but word spread among
us, Li really loves his son. And he's in that position, threat or bribery
just doesn't work. You'd best keep your mouth shut."

Wenxu Jiang's cigarette burnt out but he didn't realize until he felt the heat
of fire searing his finger. Ashes scattered on him.

"Jingwen, you don't worry about it..." Wenxu Jiang lowered the window,
"You know more people at the hospital than I do. Just go look into
Zhishu's medical records; by the way, ask around if there's any
marrow that matches his available."

Jingwen Zhang sighed quietly, "Wenxu, I know and I've always kept an
eye on this. But you should understand... I took some of those pills in
the study and had them checked; those are specific medications for
terminal patients." He paused with ineffable heartache, "It's been too
long... Bone marrow cannot help."

Wenxu Jiang didn't reply.

"Did you find Zhishu?" Jingwen changed the subject.

Wenxu Jiang confirmed lifelessly and forced a bitter smile, "He refused to
see me. I'm in Beijing right now."

Jingwen Zhang didn't know what to say; his heart felt for him. He had
pretty much witnessed what Zhishu had been through. If Wenxu Jiang didn't
care about the man, then the whole thing would be harmless. But he had
never let go. Even Jingwen felt bad for Zhishu, not to mention Wenxu
Jiang.

"Alright, enough of me." Wenxu Jiang closed up the window, watching

the city light flash the compartment. He breathed out lightly, "How's your
old man been doing?"

"Yurou's been taking care of him at the hospital. He's old, but no
major diseases, just constant small problems," Jingwen Zhang said,
"Look at me, I'm all alone at home, like an empty nester."

Wenxu Jiang chuckled, "Alright, that's it, I'm nearly home." Their chat
didn't go too far as Jingwen now had a family. Wenxu Jiang thought he'd
better trouble him less.

"President Jiang, that land at west end was approved. Will you come to
the office tomorrow?" Assistant Song didn't dare to make a sound until his
boss hung up the phone.

"West end?" Wenxu Jiang wasn't in a clear state of mind; he could hardly
open his eyes.

"The bidding a month ago, you know, Mr. Li and his people nailed it
for us."

Wenxu Jiang's eyes were suddenly wide open; his fingers started to tremble
involuntarily. "Give it to Ziqian Ai. He always wants it, doesn't he?"

"President Jiang..."

"Stop. I'm gonna pay the Ai’s back with that land." And the cost of this
business was ironically Zhishu He's life.

Wenxu Jiang wasn't any part of Zekun Li's bone marrow robbery but he
insisted that he was the real culprit. A miserable and abominable man.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
72

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 72: A Stranger Opened the Door 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

"That land is going to be built into commercial residential areas. Inside

information says that the subway soon will be built there, and the price
of the land will double soon after that. The board will not be happy if
you sell the land now."

Assistant Song was being mild. People will die for money. This was no
longer an issue about whether the board would be happy or not. If Wenxu
Jiang insisted on selling the land, the board would eat him alive.
“This is not the only project we are doing. Find some other stuff for
them to worry about. Besides, the previous investment in the land was
too much; all that money being tied up in the investment is going to
interfere with other projects.” Wenxu Jiang rubbed his sore temples.

“But…”

“That's enough.” Wenxu Jiang waved his hand. “I'm stressed enough
already. I will deal with them when I come to work in a couple of days.
I'm gonna take a nap now. Wake me up when we are home.”

Assistant Song shut up and drove discreetly.

About 40 minutes later, assistant Song parked the car. Wenxu Jiang was
asleep. He hadn't had much rest these days.

“Mr. Jiang?”

Wenxu Jiang slept lightly. He was awake when the car stopped, but he was
too tired to open his eyes.

“Yep. Don't go to work tomorrow. Wait for my call to pick me up

here.” Wenxu Jiang opened his eyes, closed up his collars and got out of
the car. “If anyone asks, say I haven't been back yet.”

Wenxu Jiang went into his building, swiped his card on the elevator. When
he was out and busy, the loneliness was not so noticeable. But when he was
home, alone by himself, the suffocating silence could drive him crazy.

He opened the door with his thumb print and went in numbly. He turned on
all the lights one by one, fell on the couch and dragged out a book under a
cushion.

It was a book written by an author named Zhen Jian. There were words
written by himself on the title page.

After Zhishu He left, Wenxu Jiang ferreted out this book from his study.
Whenever he missed Zhishu He terribly, he would read the book carefully.
This was his new routine now.
Lately, Wenxu Jiang had always been thinking about things from the past
inadvertently, some things that were trivial and insignificant to others.
Sometimes it was not even a thing, it was kind of a particular scene. The
way Zhishu He smiled with his little dimples; the way Zhishu He slept in
his arms after tender love making; the way Zhishu He tilted his head and
frowned when he was troubled.

But the cruel thing is, Wenxu Jiang deliberately remembered all the good
memories and scenes, he couldn't even think about how much he had hurt
Zhishu He in later life. Most often, he couldn't control his thoughts. Each
night he woke up in nightmare, he always saw Zhishu He curled up outside
the door crying with blood running out of his eyes. Sometimes he dreamt of
Zui Shen pushing Zhishu He off the cliff, and he was just standing there
watching.

For a period of time, Wenxu Jiang’s pillow was wet every night. He shed so
many tears when he was asleep, so he told himself never to cry during the
day.

He couldn't fall apart. If he did, what would happen to Zhishu He?

Wenxu Jiang swallowed two sleeping pills with cold water. He must get
some sleep tonight. There will be a lot to do tomorrow.

Wenxu Jiang didn't know when he fell asleep. When he was awakened by
the ringing of his phone, he was still on the couch.

“Mr. Jiang. Do you have plans today? Now it is 8 o’clock.” It’s his
assistant Song who was on the phone.

Wenxu Jiang sat up straight and looked at the book beside him. The cover
of the book was folded up, probably because he slept on it last night. It was
only a small and light crease. In an instant, Wenxu Jiang’s heart ached like
it was palpitating.

“Mr. Jiang?”
Wenxu Jiang put the book on the tea table gently and caressed the crease on
the book cover, “Come now. Wait for me downstairs.”

He ended the call and looked through the contacts on his phone. There was
this phone number that really took him some trouble to find. He asked
someone to introduce him and got Zekun Li’s personal phone number in
some night club.

“Hello?” A sluggish voice of a man, sounded like the man didn't care about
anything.

“Mr. Li. It's me, Wenxu Jiang.”

“…Mr. Jiang?” Seemed like it took Zekun Li a second to remember

Wenxu Jiang, “What are you calling for this early?”

Zekun Li was young, Maybe 23 or 24 years old. Wenxu Jiang forgot that 8
or 9 o’clock was considered early for young people.

“Sorry to bother you. Thank you so much for all your help, I got the
land of the western side. If you have some spare time today, I want to
thank you in person formally.” Wenxu Jiang humbled himself. Zekun Li
was like a young royalty. His father Zhiqi Li was almost 40 when he had
him. Zekun Li was spoiled terribly by the relatives on his mother's side too.

“No need for that. A piece of cake.” Zekun Li seemed not interested, “I'm
not in the mood for going out lately.”

“I just want to talk to you. Some time ago, I heard that someone in
your family is not well? A friend of mine is dealing Cubilose in
Malaysia. The Cubilose he sent me is big and clean, very nourishing. ”

Zekun Li became interested; he thought for a second and said, “Okay, I

happen to be free today. I will text you the address, come to my home,
please.”

After this phone call, Wenxu Jiang immediately dialed another number.
“Chen? Go to the finance department and get me a million Yuan in
cash. Don't ask any question. I will send assistant Song to pick it up.
Remember to load them in a little suitcase.”

After setting this up, he received a message. Looking at the address of a

mansion in West Mountain, Wenxu Jiang sipped his lips a little.

He washed up and took some pills before getting downstairs. Assistant

Song was already waiting for him.

Wenxu Jiang coughed for a while before catching his breath, “Go to work
first. You go pick up the money from Chen.” Then he showed the text
message to Song, “Go to this place later.”

After a detour from work, it was almost 12 o’clock when they arrived at the
mansion area in West Mountain. Wenxu Jiang hadn't eat anything from last
night; his stomach was burning. He rubbed his stomach for a bit, looking so
pale.

“Mr. Jiang, are you alright?” Looking at him, assistant Song was a little
worried. Wenxu Jiang almost never show his illness outside home. Now he
must have been in serious pain.

“I'm alright. You stay close. I will call you to pick me up when I've
done.” Wenxu Jiang picked up the little silver suitcase and got out of the
car.

The address was easy to find. Wenxu Jiang knocked on the door and
someone answered quickly. But he was stunned for a little.

It was a stranger, a boy who opened the door. The boy was so beautiful,
even in the gay circle, it was hard to find someone this pretty. But he looked
very young, 18 or 19 at most.

“Are you looking for Zekun Li?” The boy smiled at him politely. But the
boy looked so pale like he had lost a lot of blood.

Wenxu Jiang went in the house. He sensed this would be a trickier situation
than he thought. There were not many people who dared to call Zekun Li by
his full name.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
73

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 73: Negotiation With Mayor's Son 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

"You don't have to take off your shoes, just come in. Zekun Li is going
to mop the floor just in a moment."

The boy spoke with a little slur, a very thick Beijing accent, sounded
concise and exuberant. He didn't sound ill if you didn't look at his pale face.

Wenxu Jiang thanked him. But Wenxu Jiang didn't see the man he came
here to see, so he asked: "Is Mr. Li busy?"

"I'll check him on. He's probably watching the soup in the kitchen."
The boy was gone for a minute, then Zekun Li came out with a cup of tea in
his hand.

"Mr. Li." Wenxu Jiang reached out to shake hands with Li. Zekun Li
ignored his hand and handed him the cup of tea. "Please sit and have some
hot tea. Xia just made it for you."

Maybe because he was home, Zekun Li didn't seem that difficult to get
along with. Zekun Li was still too young to show a lot decisiveness rather
than capriciousness.

They sat on the couch together. The TV was on, playing "Tom and Jerry."
The sound from the show was very loud.

Zekun Li was a little embarrassed. He picked up the remote and pressed

pause. "Xia loves it. He must have watched it for a dozen times. It made
me have goosebumps whenever I hear the sound of the lion roaring at
the beginning of the show."

Wenxu Jiang laughed a little: "Young boys are all like that. But it is rare
to love old cartoons more than video games."

For a moment there was a very gentle look and a hint of smile in Zekun Li's
eyes: "It's not that he doesn't like video games, but he's just so dumb.
No matter how hard I teach him, he could not learn. Watching him
play link games or Tetris will upset me. I'd rather let him watch 'Tom
and jerry'."

Wenxu Jiang smiled in agreement. But his heart was sinking.

"You came to me just to thank me?" Zekun Li remembered the business

between them. He was going to make lunch after Wenxu Jiang left.

Wenxu Jiang didn't give a straight answer and talked about something else:
"The boy you are keeping, is he getting better? He hasn't had the bone
marrow transplant surgery yet, has he?" He felt a little fortunate when
he saw Xia Cheng earlier. It meant he hadn't used the bone marrow yet.
Zekun Li's face went a little dim. He hated the using of the word "keep"
when someone talked about him and Xia. The sound of the word could
make his stomach turn.

"He is unwell for the last couple of days. He is taking medication to

maintain his health. The surgery is in next week." Zekun Li lost his
interest to talk to Wenxu Jiang, "It's noon already. I won't keep you for
lunch."

Wenxu Jiang was feeling out the situation. Zekun Li's blunt impatience did
not iritate him: "Now that I have come here, I must make things clear."

"Did you know I have a loved one who's been with me for 15 years?"
Wenxu Jiang was looking down on the tea leaves floating up and down in
the teacup.

Zekun Li would never respect people who made him lose his patience. He
crossed his long legs and sneered: "Um...I remember vaguely. I think I
have seen him with you one time. He looked not bad. That little thing
has already been with you for 15 years? He maintained himself well to
look that young."

Wenxu Jiang's face changed for a while. He knew the person Zekun Li was
talking about is Zui Shen.

Zekun Li saw his embarrassment and sneered more: "I'm wrong? It's not
the boy I'm talking about? My bad."

Wenxu Jiang smiled and didn't give a straight answer: "You know, Mr. Li.
When you go out to engage in social activities and entertainments, who
is willing to bring the person he really loves to kiss ass and drink for
him? I've seen you a couple of times before, it's not the boy here who's
accompanied you, right?"

"Xia!" Zekun Li didn't answer Jiang; instead, he called for the person who
was in the kitchen, "Turn off the stove. Go change on second floor and
wait for me. I'll take you out to eat in a moment."
Watching Xia Cheng go upstairs, Zekun Li turned cold completely:
"Wenxu Jiang. What are you came here to talk about exactly?"

"My love's surname is He." Wenxu Jiang didn't answer Zekun Li's
question directly. It was almost like he was talking to himself, "He has
leukemia. Recently he has been treated by Dr. Ai at General Hospital of
the People's Liberation Army."

"Oh. I'm sorry to hear that." Zekun Li only raised his eyebrows after
hearing the familiar name of the condition. His words were not from the
bottom of his heart.

"His doctor found him matching bone marrow. But now it's gone."
Wenxu Jiang's voice quivered a little, even though he tried so hard to
control himself not to.

Zekun Li frowned already. He had a hunch about this.

"The bone marrow your boy got, is not originally for him, right? You
know how you snatched it."

"I don't have to snatch the things I want." Zekun Li sneered in scorn, "I
got it; it's mine. What can you do about it? Everyone has his own fate.
Your boy is unfortunate. Who's to blame?"

Wenxu Jiang clenched his fist; his veins near his eyes were popping: "Show
some kindness."

Zekun Li couldn't care less: "You are a resourceful man. Go find another
one. It's easy for you."

"The bone marrow you got, Shao Lu gave it to you, right? You were
willing to put yourself at risk to take it from that scumbag. You say it's
easy to find another one?"

Shao Lu is the president of that hospital. He snatched the bone marrow

away before it could get to Ziyu Ai. Shao Lu was usually discreet. After all,
the hospital was at the capital; he would not act recklessly. But he and his
in-laws together invested and opened several schools to treat adolescents
for their internet addictions and rebellious behaviors. Lately the media
exposed their shady business with gory details. It had gotten so big even
mayor Mr. Li wouldn't dare to intervene.

But Zekun Li still took the risk and accepted the bone marrow from Shao
Lu. He was risking his family being dragged down with this. Wenxu Jiang
did some research and found out about this when he was in Hangzhou. He
was impressed by Zekun Li of taking such a big risk.

"Like you said, I took a big risk. So you ask me for this. It is not
appropriate, right?" Zekun Li shook his head and laughed, "It wouldn't
matter who came to it first. No matter who ended up with the bone
marrow, it is still a life to be saved by the hospital. Your love is waiting
for the bone marrow to live, but you think mine can wait?"

Wenxu Jiang didn't answer. He just put the little suitcase on the tea table
and opened it slowly.

Zekun Li glanced at it and sneered: "You think I'm short of money?"

"I'll be ashamed to give this to you." Wenxu Jiang closed up the suitcase,
"I'll give you whatever you want as long as I have it. This money is for
the person who donated the bone marrow. I wanna ask you a favor,
find the donor and ask him if he is willing to donate again in a short
time." The donor was hidden away. Even Ai's family couldn't find him.
Wenxu Jiang could only rely on Zekun Li now.

"Either way it has to be after Xia's surgery. You just go home and wait.
Not for long. Half a month at most. When Xia's surgery is done, I will
bring the donor to you."
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
74

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 74: Heart Attack 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang didn't dare to fall out with Zekun Li. All he could do was wait.
The more he bore, the more he hated himself for his uselessness.

The greatest pain is that you've worked so hard only to move yourself
instead of making an actual difference.

Wenxu Jiang didn't even know how he walked outside the door. The anoxia
numbed his limbs. The cold air sobered him up as he took a hard inhalation.
Sparse tiny snowflakes fell from the sky on Wenxu's way back home, he
reached out of the car window to try to hold one, but the snowflake melted
the instant it touched his palm, becoming a small drip of ice-cold water as
Wenxu withdrew his hand.

"Did you watch the weather forecast?" An abrupt question came from
the back seat.

Assistant Song felt confounded for a bit and answered, "It didn't say it's
gonna snow but the sky's been gloomy since this morning. I figured it
might snow and it does."

"Yeah." Wenxu Jiang insipidly replied. Not until nearly half a minute later
did he talked again, "It was also a snowy day the last time you saw
Zhishu He, wasn't it?"

Assistant Song didn't forget. He went to deliver Zhishu those dumplings

that day. He clearly remembered one look in Zhishu He's eyes the moment
he saw those dumplings, a sudden despair look that no one would have the
heart to watch.

"Yes, the snow was bigger than today."

The man at the back seat quieted down. Assistant Song peeked him from
the rearview mirror out of curiosity. He saw the man that used to be
condescending and bossy took more than ten seconds to light the cigarette
because his hands were shaking so dramatically.

The white smoke slowly covered the complexity in Wenxu's eyes. He

exhaled lightly; the snow was getting bigger. He looked outside the window
and asked in a trance, "Am I an asshole to Zhishu He?"

Assistant Song had witnessed many things, like Wenxu Jiang told Zhishu
He on the phone that he was busy with work while he was out with his
lover, and he picked up many boys and girls for Wenxu Jiang. But it's not
his place to comment or judge.
So he just slowly replied, "You and Mr. He had a very good relationship
in the beginning."

Only in the beginning.

Wenxu was aware and he knew he asked a needless question. Anyone with
eyes could see he owed Zhishu so much. Jingwen said he didn't love him
enough, Ziyu Ai said he didn't deserve Zhishu, even Zekun Li humiliated
him with Zui Shen. People said those things for a reason, and the reason
was he made one after another mistake.

Step by step, he had come to this far. He'd got no one to blame but himself.

The cruelty of reality is, not until after you lose one thing, will you know
how important it is to you, but it would always be too late to realize.

As Wenxu Jiang mindlessly watched the streets and things outside the
window flashing by, he suddenly locked his eyes on one street. He pinched
the cigarette with his fingers in a self-harming way. He told in a low voice,
trying to conceal his frailty and sorrow, "Stop the car."

Assistant Song couldn't keep up his request, but only slowed down the car.
"Boss, the snow is getting bigger. You didn't look well at noon. I'll drive
you home the soonest possible."

Wenxu Jiang insisted, "Stop. I'll go home by myself."

Assistant Song had no choice but to pull the car over. "Boss, please watch
yourself. Call me if you need me."

Wenxu Jiang nodded and walked away without saying a thing.

It was a street with little passersby in normal days so there was Wenxu
Jiang walking down the road alone in this rigor. The blade-like winds were
slicing Wenxu Jiang's face but he looked placid because the physical pain
was nothing compared to his heartache.

The ground was covered with thin snow; every step of Wenxu's left a
shoeprint on the whiteness. Suddenly, he halted, looked back at a loss. All
he could see was the empty street with a track of his shoeprints.

He slightly opened his mouth, weak trembling voices were forced out of his
heart as he called, "Zhishu... Zhishu... Where are you? I'm... I'm here to
watch the snow with you."

No answer. Only the winds howled at him as if he was the only person
standing in this world.

His face uncontrollably jerked; he could hardly breathe due to the

heartache. But Wenxu Jiang realized it was a heart attack instead of the
mere heartache as he paralyzed.

He didn't know how long he lay in the winds and snow with eyes wide-
open. He threw all the pills into his mouth without counting. Finally, he
lifted himself up. Wenxu Jiang kept telling himself-what should Zhishu do
if he gave up just like that.

It was over 7 o'clock when he got home. He was so cold that he totally lost
his senses but he struggled to turn on all the lights and then opened his wine
cabinet.

He abused himself with the wines, white or red, as if those were water. As
long as he was still conscious, he would be in pain.

The good thing about the wine is it warms you up.

Wenxu Jiang lay on the floor with dim eyes. He kept mouthing sorry, sorry,
sorry...

Sorry for not protecting and loving you all the time. Sorry that I had
someone else in my life apart from you. Sorry that I must abide even when I
tried to save you... Sorry... I don't even know I'm so in love with you
myself.

Wenxu Jiang raised his hand and put it on his chest. He looked away, under
the couch, there lay a silvery thing. He crawled there almost intuitively. He
pressed his whole body on the ground, which was dusty because of the long
lack of cleaning, and strived to reach out to that little thing.

Wenxu Jiang burst into tears instantly. He cried like a child under 10. His
face was a mess but he couldn't make a single sound. He was too sad to
make a sound.

In his hands, it was Zhishu's ring. The rusty dark stuff on it smeared Wenxu
Jiang's hand. That was dried blood.

Wenxu Jiang pressed it on his chest; his quivering hand could hardly hold a
small ring. He suddenly raised his shaking right hand and smacked himself
very hard to finally sober himself up, he tried to steady his hand to put the
ring on his little finger.

The reunion of the two rings took place after three years.

He and Zhishu He seemed to be back together for eternity.

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
75

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 75: I Just... Want to Hear His Breath. 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He's condition worsened. He had headaches and felt nauseous day
after day. He was covered with bruises due to the subcutaneous
hemorrhage.

Ziyu Ai didn't even dare to touch him. His heart broke for He. Zhishu He
didn't want to trouble him, he just endured and said nothing no matter how
painful he was.

It had become Ziyu Ai's routine that he would sleep after watching Zhishu
fell asleep. He was a light sleeper that would wake up because of the
slightest movement. This day, he suddenly woke up finding Zhishu crying
in his sleep. His forehead was covered with a thin layer of cold sweat.
Whimpering quietly, he mumbled, "I... I felt so bad..."

All he did was mumble in his dreams even he was in so much pain. Just quit
sucking everything up on your own. Ziyu Ai turned up the bedlight a little.
He stroked Zhishu's feeble back, "Good boy, I'm here... Don't worry, it'll
end..."

Zhishu He grabbed at Ziyu by his waist. His tears damped his pajama,
searing his skin. Zhishu He's forehead was hot. He had a fever again in the
middle of the night.

Ziyu Ai wanted to get him two cold wet towels but Zhishu hugged him
even tighter the moment he had the tendency to leave. He shouted in a soft,
poor tone, "Wenxu... Don't go... Please..."

Ziyu Ai's eyes were suddenly reddened; he gently petted Zhishu He's back
and said in a low voice, "No... I won't go..." Ziyu Ai stared at Zhishu for a
long time and he very carefully stroked aside his sweaty sticky hair,
thinking to himself, 'I deserve it.'

He didn't feel aggrieved, angry or painful. All he had was the futile
jealousy. He couldn't decide who was in the depth of Zhishu's heart and he
didn't want him to suffer. Ziyu Ai had no desire of taking anything from
Zhishu He at the moment. As it had come to this far, he had nothing else to
ask for; he just didn't want him to regret.

Ziyu Ai woke up very early in the morning, he went downstairs to soak the
beans as he'd like Zhishu to have fresh soybean milk as soon as he woke up.

Ziyu Ai stood in the kitchen blankly. He stayed up all night long, having
nightmares once he closed his eyes. He saw the young Zhishu in his blue
and white school uniform running to him; on one side of his cheek, there
was his little dimple; his smile was clean and cute. Ziyu also smiled and
opened up his arms trying to hug him but Zhishu ran straight past him into
the ocean in a distance and sunk himself into the abyss.
It was a bad omen at any rate.

Ziyu Ai sighed; he took his cellphone out to check the date. One week later,
it would be Zhishu's birthday. How time flew.

While the cellphone was still in his hand, which suddenly rang. Ziyu
glanced the number as he came to earth, 'Wenxu Jiang again.'

He now felt calm towards this man. He'd better spend the time taking care
of Zhishu, because he didn't want to waste time on trifles.

"What do you want?"

Wenxu Jiang sounded weak and hoarse, "Is Zhishu with you?" He was
now at the hospital, alcoholic poisoning plus the heart attack. Last night,
Assistant Song was worried about him so he came to his house. He knocked
on the door but no one answered. Luckily, he had the spare key, or else,
Wenxu Jiang would be in real danger.

"He's asleep," Ziyu Ai couldn't be bothered to waste his breath with him.
He picked up the phone just because he didn't want to receive endless calls
from Jiang, "Speak or I'll hang up."

Wenxu Jiang couldn't get through this tough time. He was weak both
physically and emotionally, wanting company. He lay in bed thinking,
'Zhishu must hurt one hundred times more than him in his chemotherapies
but he was all alone.How long would he recover in the bed to be able to
make his way home?' The more he thought, he sadder he got. Wenxu Jiang
even wished himself could suffer more because he could at least somewhat
feel the pain Zhishu had been through.

He missed Zhishu so much. He couldn't see Zhishu, but could only make
phone calls. Not until he coughed for a while, did he manage to steady his
breath. "Um... Could you let me listen? I won't wake him up. I just...
want to hear his breath."

Ziyu Ai sneered; he could finally let out his emotions that he repressed
since last night. "President Jiang, you disgust me very much. Are you
putting on a bitter play here? Huh? Am I the wretched homewrecker in
your play? Don't you forget that you went out and found your lovers;
you abandoned Zhishu He. What's your charade here? I'd respect you
if you could just give me him and wish us the best!" Yes... You
abandoned him first but why did you leave a mark on his heart? Seriously...
It can't be a fair game.

"I'll hang up then. Take good care of him."

Ziyu wanted to smash the phone onto the ground but he controlled himself
because the shouting Zhishu made in his dreams last night flashed in his
mind. Love overcame jealousy.

Zhishu was still in sleep when he got upstairs, probably because the fever
was just gone and he was very exhausted.

Ziyu Ai bent down and tucked Zhishu He in, took his phone out after a brief
pause. He took a photo of Zhishu in sleep. The light was dark and the angle
was bad. It was a lousy shot.

He sent the photo to Wenxu Jiang. He thought for a second and saved it on
his phone.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
76

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 76: Irresistible Gentleness 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Time went by intimidatingly fast, Ziyu Ai no longer saw Zhishu in a doctor-

patient way; he no longer kept close attention on how bad the situation he
was in; he no longer planned for the worst. But even so, he clearly knew
that... The life of a terminal stage leukemia patient who doesn't take medical
treatment or medications couldn't last long.

It had been a week since Wenxu Jiang called. That man didn't call him
again but it was probably the right move. If Wenxu Jiang had the last bit of
his conscientiousness, he would feel guilty to Zhishu He in a condition like
that.
Zhishu He still went to the french windows to enjoy the little gardens from
the second floor when his mind was clear; sometimes, the dog and kitties
would sneak into the garden and damaged the plants when it lacked Ziyu
Ai's protection. Every time he looked down through the transparent
window, Zhishu He felt calm inside as if he floated in the air totally relaxed.

He had found a book that quite interested him a few days ago. He had been
reading it for several days; it was a book with pictures, called 100 Places
You Must Go In Your Life.

Ziyu Ai sat next to him when he read the book and his dark brown eyes
dimmed as he saw the title.

Zhishu He noticed; he smiled and rubbed one side of Ziyu's waist with his
foot. His navy blue coral velvet sock failed to cover his snow-white ankle,
which was extremely pretty.

The tickles on He's foot from Ziyu Ai finally erased the deep sorrow in He's
eyes.

"I'll give this book to you once I finish reading it," Zhishu He smiled,
"You gotta go to every place in this book twice, okay?"

'The second time... is a remedy.'

"Tomorrow is your birthday." Ziyu Ai didn't answer him, but leaned on

Zhishu's shoulder and snuggled with him intimately.

Zhishu He nodded, "I've been waiting for very long. The birthday
present you prepared has been tantalizing me for more than half a
month."

Ziyu Ai kissed his cheek in a smile; his eyes were full of happiness and
love, "You have been tantalizing me for half a year."

Zhishu He rolled his eyes at him and went back to his book. He had enough
of those words but the pictures cheered him up. He had read this book over
and over.
Zhishu He was quite cheerful today; he didn't feel drowsy. When he read
enough, he leaned on Ziyu Ai and let his mind fly.

Ziyu Ai held Zhishu He in his arms so that he could lean on his chest.
"What's on your mind?" When he talked, his chest gently shook. The
shake numbed Zhishu's ear.

"You."

"I don't buy it."

"Really," Zhishu He smiled, "My life's worth it. I end up with such a
good man."

"What do you, end up with?" Ziyu Ai felt a bit unhappy, "You keep your
mind drifting away. You talk, I hurt."

Zhishu He chuckled; the heat from his mouth warmed Ziyu's heart.

Their dinner was little wontons Ziyu made, which Zhishu ate quite a lot. He
seemed to have a better appetite than before.

"You like wontons?" Ziyu Ai gave him half a bowl of seaweed and shelled
shrimp soup.

Zhishu He was lost, he lowered his head, scooping the soup again and
again. "Not really, I just..." Zhishu He tilted his head, looking pretty
distressed.

Ziyu Ai realized something and jealousy budded on his heart, but he didn't
show it in his words. "Alright, finish the soup. I'll cook you more
tomorrow, I've made plenty of wontons."

Zhishu He didn't say anything, he slowly finished the soup.

"Can I have a bath tonight?" Zhishu He asked Ziyu Ai after he helped

him wash the bowls. He had showers lately; Ziyu Ai didn't allow him to
take a bath, lest he'd get dizzy.
"Don't take too long." Ziyu Ai cleaned the kitchen sink and replied to him
gently, "Watch out for the slippery floor when you get out."

Zhishu He hummed a yes and left.

It wasn't a short bath. Up until Ziyu Ai finished the cleaning and took his
shower, wasn't Zhishu finished yet.

Ziyu Ai flicked through the book page by page in bed and called Zhishu
He's name every once in a while. He was still worried about him.

Zhishu He was sick of answering him but he knew Ziyu Ai cared about
him. He stayed in the water for a while longer, had a quick shower and
came out.

His skin got wrinkle and his cheeks were red. He dried his hair with a towel
carefully next to Ziyu.

"How come you smell so good?" Ziyu looked at him from behind and
exhaled.

"I used that lush bath bomb," Zhishu's voice was a bit throaty and
inadvertently alluring. He smiled, "I think I smell good, too."

Zhishu He leaned over, very close to Ziyu Ai; tiny water droplets pattered
on Ziyu Ai's face.

Ziyu Ai thought Zhishu He was teasing him because he was in a good mood
but before he said anything, a mild kiss lay on his forehead. "Just smell."

"Knock it off," Ziyu Ai's expression suddenly changed, "Listen to me, go

to bed." He patted on the bed next to him, "We gotta get up early
tomorrow. It's your birthday."

The bedlight was on; the evasiveness of Ziyu Ai's was very obvious. He
was struggling, panic and uneasy.

Zhishu He's next kiss was on Ziyu Ai's lips. His eyes were gentle, his black
pupils reflected a little brightness of the light but that was like the most
shining star in the universe. "Am I not good enough for you?"

"Except for Wenxu Jiang... There was no one else."

"Zhishu, you know I don't..." Ziyu Ai was very agitated; he couldn't

organize his words; he couldn't handle the heartache. He loved Zhishu He to
death. He wanted to touch him, he wanted to have him, but he wanted more
to be the very person that wouldn't take something from him in his life.

Ziyu Ai just wanted to be good to him. He dared not to think about the rest.

Zhishu He sighed lightly. He kissed down little by little from his jaw and
tried to unbutton Ziyu Ai's pajama.

Ziyu Ai couldn't resist Zhishu's gentleness, his warm breath on his sensitive
neck, and his fragrance. He rolled over to press Zhishu under him. His
intense kisses fell on Zhishu's eyes and brows and cheeks. "Zhishu... Little
Shu...Baby..."

Ziyu Ai didn't even know why he cried; his tears were all over Zhishu's
face. He muttered countless times "I love you" near Zhishu's ears.

It was Ziyu's nature to be gentle and careful. When he got inside Zhishu,
Zhishu didn't feel too much pain but still, he subconsciously clenched the
bed-sheet hard.

"Zhushu..." Ziyu Ai licked and kissed Zhishu's Adam's apple. Strong

breaths were mixed with the doctor's confession of love; he kept saying it
and didn't change his words all night long. "I love you..."

Zhishu's mind drifted between clear and blurred, he watched Ziyu Ai's face
in the pale yellow light, involuntarily panted and moaned quietly and got
himself ready to be overwhelmed by strong passion.

"D-doctor Ai." Zhishu He loosened his grips, on the wrinkled sheet, his
arms encircled Ziyu Ai's neck, smiled at Ai in a trance.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
77

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 77: Happy Birthday! 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

When Zhishu He woke up, he was left alone. Cold and empty, it looked like
the doctor had left for quite a long time.

Zhishu He slowly rolled over and kept his eyes shut for a while longer. He
was still weak; his waist and legs were sore and limp.

The door was mildly pushed open; Zhishu He didn't move. The quilt was
pulled up right after he felt someone standing next to the bed. Before he
could sense the coldness, something warm was thrust into his arms; it was
an electric warmer.
"Baby, happy birthday," Ziyu Ai lowered his head, kissed Zhishu from
his earlobe to his nape, "Rise and shine."

Zhishu shrugged and held the electric warmer tight. "Don't mess with me,
it's ticklish."

Ziyu Ai didn't go further, he just groomed Zhishu's messy bangs. "You can
stay in bed for a minute and get up later. I'll wait for you downstairs."

After Ziyu Ai left for several minutes, Zhishu He got up reluctantly. He

buttoned up his pajama and rubbed his temples.

Ziyu Ai was in the kitchen when he got downstairs. He leaned sideways to

greet him once he heard him coming down. "You are up?"

On his floral apron, there was a mess of flour, his dummy smiley face was
just like the dog. "I'll make you a cake after I put these egg tarts into the
oven."

Zhishu He held the electric warmer, tilted his head and looked into the
kitchen while standing away from it and said, "You are awesome."

Ziyu Ai walked up to him, randomly dusted off the flour on his hands, lifted
Zhishu He up and put himself down in the living room couch. The doctor's
hot hands massaged Zhishu He by his waist through his pajama.

Zhishu He felt a bit embarrassed; he wriggled. "You've got flour on me."

Ziyu didn't let go. "Let me massage you." He wasn't acting filthy though;
he understood that Zhishu was feeling embarrassed. As much as he was
patient and restrained enough last night, he was still doing everything he
could to not hurt his feelings.

Ziyu Ai made him comfortable with the right skill and intensity; his hand
totally relaxed Zhishu's uptight muscle. Massage is an energy-consuming
job; Zhishu didn't want to bother Ziyu so much.

"I feel alright. You do your thing. You said the cake wasn't done,
right?" Zhishu pushed himself up from Ziyu's arms and sat straight on the
couch by himself.

Ziyu Ai didn't say another word, he just caressed Zhishu's cheek and got up.
As he walked into the kitchen, he suddenly remembered something and he
stood still.

"Silly me." Ziyu Ai smiled at Zhishu He fawningly, and turned away to

open the door.

Zhishu He was wondering what Ziyu Ai was up to. Less than three minutes
later, a golden towser briskly rushed into the house. Ziyu Ai slowed down
with two cats in his arms and followed by another two cats.

Zhishu He giggled.

"They all took parasite repellents and a bath in the morning. They'll
keep you company for a while." Ziyu Ai walked up to Zhishu, grabbed
one cat by its neck and passed it to Zhishu, "Cuddle him. Your favorite
one. He's grown a lot."

Zhishu's eyes were gentle and kind, filled with real joy. He reached out to
hold the cat. How these little things have grown. The doctor had fed them
well. They became big cats.

The dog snuggled with Zhishu's legs, it shoved its big golden head into
Zhishu's arms hard but it got slapped by the cat in his arms. Its poor brown
eyes were moistened.

Those poor eyes got Zhishu right away; he put down the proud cat and
cuddled the dog and said, "Good boy."

It licked all over Zhishu's face.

Ziyu Ai got him a big plate of fresh fruits from the kitchen. "Have some
fruits first. The dog likes them too, you can have them together."

Zhishu He watched TV; the dog sat still and was happy being his cushion as
it got snacks. Those cats went to the balcony for sunbathe. Today was a
wonderful day.
The egg tarts Ziyu Ai made smelled good. The moment they came out the
oven; the dog wooshed up, its tail wagging enthusiastically.

"Shoo, shoo, your mom hasn't eaten one yet," Ziyu Ai bent over and
flicked on the dog's head, turned away to Zhishu He and said, "You've
been eating light food these days. You can have a little bit of sweet
today."

Zhishu He ignored the first part of his sentence and smiled. "Aren't I a
lucky birthday boy?"

Zhishu He took a bite on a tart. It was hot and sweet, not too sweet if he just
ate a little.

Ziyu Ai's eyes sparkled but he said nothing.

The cake came out around noon, right on lunchtime. Ziyu Ai got the dining
table ready and called Zhishu He.

"Baby, happy birthday." Ziyu half knelt beside the couch, looking up at
Zhishu in a humble way.

"You said the same thing in the morning." Zhishu reached out to touch
Ziyu Ai's smiling lips and chuckled, "Why are you acting like the dog?"

Ziyu Ai held Zhishu He's hand, said very seriously, "This time, it comes
with the birthday present."

He took the present that had been waiting for so long out of his side pocket.
It was a red little velvet ring box.

Zhishu He frowned almost imperceptibly.

Ziyu Ai opened up the box, where there was a platinum ring. On the ring,
there was an oval-shaped flower with tiny little diamonds on it. It was a
beautiful ring, every of its glow told gentleness. It wasn't feminine though,
which suited Zhishu well.

"Sorry," Zhishu He closed the box, "I can't take it."

A ring means something special. One can't take a ring if they cannot
undertake the responsibility and love. When Zhishu He violently pulled the
ring that he had for nearly eight years from his finger, he thought to himself
"I won't take another ring for the rest of my life".

"Zhishu..." Ziyu's eyes were as deep as the ocean, "Put it on..."

"I'm afraid I can't... find you in this life..." So please put it on so that I
can find you.

Zhishu He put on a wry smile. "Psychological comfort doesn't really

work." They both knew Ziyu Ai was lying to himself but none of them
pointed it out.

"Please, I'm begging you." Ziyu Ai's eyes were drooped; he opened the
little box and took the ring out again on my own and tried to hold Zhishu's
hand. "Please... Put it on just for me once."

Zhishu He's heart jerked, briefly but acutely.

He withdrew his hand as he caught the sadness in Ziyu's eyes. He stayed

silent for a while and suddenly stroked Ziyu's hair. "I could. But could you
promise one thing?"

Ziyu Ai raised his head and looked into Zhishu's eyes.

"When I'm gone... Don't wait, have me cremated... I want a water

burial so that I can travel to all those good places." Zhishu He said in a
calm tone as if it was a daily small talk. His eyes were soft. "You can have
my one hundred and fifty thousand. You can donate it to charity... I
know you have money..."

Ziyu Ai's body twitched; he said nothing but tried to put the ring on
Zhishu's finger with his shaking hands. What he said meant yes.

The ring fit his third finger. It covered that old indistinct ring mark that
hardly faded away.
Not until the whole ring-putting process was finished, did Ziyu stand up. He
expectedly held the back of Zhishu's neck and french-kissed him
passionately. This was the first time they had this kind of kiss, which was
more intimate than intercourse.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
78

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 78: Don’t Touch My Zhishu 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Zhishu He didn't repulse or reply. His head felt heavy as if drowned. He

didn't even sure what he was feeling about Ziyu Ai but still, he allowed
things to come to this far.

Ziyu Ai let go of Zhishu He, caressed his lightly swollen lips with his
fingers. "It tastes sweet," Ziyu Ai smiled, "I might be into egg tarts in
the future."

Zhishu He felt a bit tired, he evasively turned away to hug the dog and sunk
into the couch.
Ziyu Ai said nothing, but grabbed his phone, meaning to ask why the
flowers he ordered haven't arrived yet. But the moment he picked his phone
up, a call came in.

It was the haunting Wenxu Jiang. Ziyu Ai was so annoyed that he even
wanted to smash the phone onto the ground.

"I need to go out for this phone call; you lie here for a while." Ziyu Ai
pointed at his phone and said to Zhishu He.

It kept ringing and the call hung up automatically when Ziyu Ai got upstairs
but it rang again less than ten seconds later.

"What do you want?" Ziyu Ai asked in a cold tone.

Wenxu Jiang sounded calm but furtively happy. "The bone marrow donor
has agreed to donate again but he just needs another week."

Ziyu Ai sneered but his tone reminded the same, as chilling as ice. "That's
good... so President Jiang, could you please call me when everything's
ready? There's another week, right?"

Voices came from the other side of the phone after a long pause. "I see..."
He said in the helpless and forbearing way as if he was resigned, "I want to
say a few words to him."

"You can keep wanting." Ziyu Ai mocked.

Wenxu Jiang didn't get upset, but asked somehow imploringly, "Has he
been doing fine lately?"

"How can he not? No one is torturing him here; no one is breaking his
heart here. He wouldn't end up like this if he lived this life earlier."

Wenxu Jiang said nothing; he didn't try to refute. He could stand this mild
mockery in exchange for any bit of information on Zhishu He.

"Today is his birthday... Please keep his company for me; I was there
for him on every of his birthday. He would feel bad if no one's there for
him."

Wenxu Jiang provoked Ziyu Ai very easily, he turned his anger into
laughter. "How thoughtful of you, President Jiang. What a sophisticated
lover you are! But sorry, he ate his birthday cake before noon and he
had his birthday present."

But he couldn't hold his anger down much longer. He had put up with
Wenxu Jiang for very long. He considered Wenxu Jiang the cheekiest man
he had ever seen. He didn't cherish Zhishu when he owned him and threw
his true love into the trash can. And here he claimed he was the most
faithful man on earth when he lost Zhishu, he was probably thinking to
himself, why can't they go back to what they were after admitting his
mistakes, after being willing to make amends? What a prick.

"Are you done now, President Jiang? I'll need to look after him during
his afternoon sleep and massage his waist. He was tired out last night."
Ziyu didn't intend to provoke Wenxu Jiang with this. It was quite vulgar;
even he himself despised what he said. But Wenxu Jiang never failed to
bring out the worst of him.

Wenxu Jiang suddenly raised up his voice and it was trembling in disbelief.
"Did-did you touch him?!"

"We've been together for a long time. It wasn't the first time last night
anyway. It was a normal thing, wasn't it?" Ziyu Ai sounded calm and
smiley. "Do you need me to wish him a happy birthday? If you don't,
I'll hang up now."

Wenxu Jiang was stunned; the phone slipped off his hand and banged on the
floor. He paralyzed into the couch without knowing what he was thinking or
doing. He put everything on the tea table in order almost manically but in
the end, he couldn't help bursting into tears with hands covering his face.
He mumbled, "Please... Please don't... Don't touch my Zhishu..."

Wenxu Jiang was about to have a mental breakdown; he couldn't dare to

think; he couldn't stand anyone touching Zhishu He. Wenxu Jiang was
extremely possessive; he couldn't allow anyone to touch what was his. Back
in the days when he took Zhishu to a business meal, he would break
someone's arm if they tried to get Zhishu He drunk and flirt with him. He
would get upset if Zhishu came home a bit later than usual. He would go
crazy if Zhishu got a bit close with someone else. But now, a man just told
him that he had entirely owned his precious, he kept him, fondled and
hugged him for more than once.

"It can't be true... It mustn't be true..." Wenxu Jiang reached to pills and
tried to comfort his heart with gibberish. "Zhishu He wouldn't allow him
to be touched."

"It'll be fine... When he gets better, I'll take him back... I'll be very very
good to him." Wenxu Jiang curled himself up, his whole body quivering.
He sounded muffled as if he was talking to his inner self. "Even if what
Ziyu Ai said is true... I don't care, I don't care..."

As long as Zhishu was happy, he didn’t care.

Wenxu Jiang was supposed to be cheered up today as Xia Cheng's operation

was a success. Not until everything was settled, did Zekun Li call him, he
said that person had taken that 1 million, he was ready for the second
donation one more week later. Wenxu Jiang was thinking at the moment
that today was Zhishu He's birthday; this uplifting message indicated good
omens. But unexpectedly, extreme joy begot sorrow.

Zhishu He was dozing when Ziyu Ai got downstairs with one hand on the
Golden Retriever. It was a beautiful hand, it had long and slender fingers
and the glow on his third finger bewildered Ziyu Ai's heart.

He walked up to him slowly with a heavy mind. He didn't feel a thing when
he heard the words bone marrow again after two months.

The late love and compensation was less than weeds.

Ziyu Ai grabbed up his hand on the dog and smiled at him. "Don't pet the
dog anymore. Wash your hands; it's lunchtime."
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
79

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 79: Xia Cheng is Dead of Severe GVHR 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

The flowers arrived at lunchtime, Ziyu Ai put the chopsticks down and
walked to the door.

He didn't order a bouquet but pots of flowers, about thirty pots of jasmine,
all blooming. As Ziyu Ai helped the seller move the pots into the living
from his van, Zhishu He stuck his head out and watched.

"Nice flowers." Ziyu Ai paid the bills and returned very quickly. He had
been in contact with this flower seller for more than a week; every pot was
well checked, otherwise, there would be another ten pots more.
Zhishu He was a bit astonished. He watched so many pots of jasmine lining
up to the foot of that Phoebe folding screen. The fragrance of blossoms
suffused the whole house.

Zhishu He got up and walked over, his heart touched by a very light poke.

"Do you like them?" Ziyu Ai held Zhishu's hand in a smile, "There're no
blossoms in our garden but we can get some in our room..."

"I like them very much." Zhishu He looked at Ziyu with moistened eyes.
He leaned over and gave him a hug. "Thank you."

No one cared about lunch anymore. They sat on the couch. Zhishu He
stared at the flowers with Ziyu Ai by his side in silence.

"Jasmine was my grandpa's favorite. Jasmines were all over our

garden since I could remember," Zhishu He smiled, he was more than
talking to himself than speaking with Ziyu Ai, "The first thing Wenxu
Jiang said to me was why do I smell so good? I could still remember,
the next day, I picked a pocket full of flowers. I put several buds on
every cluster in case they lost the fragrance and I dared not to let my
grandfather see." It was the first time Zhishu He mentioned his and
Wenxu's old story. He wasn't being reminiscent or regretful or sarcastic, he
was calm and gentle as always.

"At the time, Wenxu Jiang was so careful when he looked things up in
those pages because he put the flowers everywhere in the book and he
cherished them. For a very long time, the strong smell of jasmine was
all over our classroom, even on his sport shirt," Zhishu lowered his
eyelids; his flicking eyelashes were like butterfly wings, "Every time I
went back home, I could smell jasmine from a distance. It was like the
guidance on my way home. Back then... it was like the best smell in the
whole world to me."

Zhishu He's eyes dimmed, and his voice told bitterness. "But then the
garden was left unattended after my grandpa passed away. No one in
my family was willing to take care of those plants."
Ziyu Ai held him in his arms and solaced him with the strokes on his black
hair and his back.

"Thank you, Ziyu Ai," Zhishu He's sound was extremely light, "I will
never forget you... If people's souls do linger after they die, I will trace
the fragrance to your garden and living room and I will be your house
guardian." The last part was more like a joke.

"I have myself to thank, too. I have spent the luck of my whole life to
be with you," Ziyu Ai kissed Zhishu He's eyelashes, "I love you...
forever."

The two greatest shames in this world: one is the death you cannot resist;
the other is the love you cannot own. Aiyu Zi suddenly wanted to cry.

Wenxu Jiang had gone back to the company. He worked harder than he ever
would, leaving no time to rest for himself, he practically lived in his office.
But every lonely night, he would look at his empty office in his leather seat
and let his mind wander. He couldn't help thinking about Zhishu He.

He slightly stroked the picture of Zhishu in his sleep on his phone and
muttered, "Are you... doing fine? I have been taking care of your
birthday present... It was an Akita. You cried so hard when you
watched the movie, Hachi: A Dog's Taleand you begged me half a
month for a puppy... When your operation is finished, you can play
with it."

What Ziyu Ai said on Zhishu's birthday pushed Wenxu Jiang to the edge of
his mental breakdown but he made it through eventually. Wenxu Jiang told
himself that it was karma. After everything he had done, he had no right to
question anything. He only deserved pain. He still worried a lot when he
was over it. Maybe Ziyu Ai tricked or forced him; maybe he hurt Zhishu;
maybe Zhishu was too feeble to stand the intensity... Even he didn't break
down, he was nearly insane.

Someone knocked on his office door; Wenxu Jiang put his phone away and
said in a low voice, "Come in."
Assistant Song walked in with a fluffy creature in his arms. "Boss... it has
been vaccinated." He was doing too much for him while he was just a
business assistant.

"Take care of it these days, please. It's just two months old, it's delicate.
I'll take Zhishu to your place to cuddle it."

Assistant Song stood still; not until the puppy licked his face several times,
did he come to sense. He held the dog to his office in a wry smile.

Wenxu Jiang got a phone call shortly after his assistant left. He looked at
the number, it was Jingwen Zhang.

"Jiangwen?" Wenxu lighted up a cigarette and asked, "What?"

Jingwen Zhang sounded a little agitated, "Do you know? Xia Cheng... Xia
Cheng's dead."

Wenxu Jiang went blank. "Which Xia Cheng?"

"Zekun Li's Xia Cheng," Jiangwen Zhang exhaled hard several times, "I
have asked around and I was told he had a severe rejection reaction
within half a month, very severe GVHR. He died in operation room...
Zekun Li went crazy right away, he nearly beat the head doctor to
death. No one could stop him until then Mayor Li came..." What
Jingwen Zhang didn't say was that Zekun Li collapsed on the ground; he
even ignored his father's arrival. He kept crying, mumbling how successful
the operation was and they hadn't got time to take a look at their marriage
certificate mailed from the UK...

Jiangwen Zhang thought of Wenxu Jiang right away. If one day, Zhishu was
gone... Wenxu Jiang would be more desperate then Zekun Li.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
80

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 80: Endless Snow 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Wenxu Jiang stood still for a while. He didn’t come back to sense until the
cigarette burnt his finger. And his sudden rise caused a loud screech
between the chair feet and the wooden floor.

"Wenxu Jiang? Wenxu Jiang! What's wrong with you?" Jingwen Zhang
was a bit worried. He witnessed Wenxu Jiang's condition; the man probably
couldn't handle a tiny bit of external stimulation.

Wenxu Jiang hung up the phone. He could barely hold his coat. He stepped
outside his office in an unclear mind and before he knew it, he started
running awkwardly.

Assistant Song was trying to calm the grumpy puppy down when his boss
banged the door open.

"Drive me to the airport; ask about the ticket of the earliest plane to
Hangzhou." Wenxu Jiang's voice was placid but it was perceptibly
quivering.

"Now?" Assistant Song was shocked. He replied by instinct. It was too

sudden but he knew he couldn't ask more. He picked up the puppy and said,
"Boss, I'll have the receptionist look after it."

In the car, Wenxu Jiang found his heart was under too much pressure, his
limbs dead cold. He feared and he knew.

He was alive; the operation was a success. But how come a person could
just die like that... What about Zhishu He then?

Jingwen Zhang did tell him that bone marrow wouldn't do anything at this
stage of Zhishu He's leukemia but Wenxu Jiang never listened. He kept
refusing to accept the fact that Zhishu He would eventually die. Wenxu
Jiang found himself absurd. Why was he so convinced that Zhishu He
would live a happy life with him again after he got better soon?

Wenxu Jiang finally grudgingly admitted a horrifying thought that he might

lose Zhishu He, like forever.

"Boss, I have made a phone call; the earliest plane will be eight thirty
tonight," Assistant Song took off his Bluetooth earphone, "Book that one
now?"

Wenxu Jiang only hummed while watching the gloomy sky outside the
window. He must take one last look at Zhishu He, even from a distance, just
to assure himself. He wouldn't... wouldn't upset him again.

It was only about four o'clock when he arrived at the airport. Wenxu Jiang
wanted to head straight into the airport lounge by himself yet saw snow
coming down from the sky while getting off the car.

Wenxu Jiang's heart jerked and he asked, "Did you read the weather
forecast?"

How could Assistant Song notice that when he didn't even have time to turn
on a TV or check his phone? He turned on his 4G to check the weather in a
hurry after hearing Wenxu Jiang's question.

Light snow.

"Should be fine." Assistant Song said.

Wenxu Jiang didn't get off the car, they waited together another two hours.
In the two hours, the snow got heavier; it was two or three centimeters on
the ground.

"Why... does Beijing snow so much this year?" Wenxu Jiang said it so
lightly as if he talked to himself.

Assistant Song stayed quiet.

By 7 o'clock, it almost turned into a blizzard. Winds were gusting. The car
radio was reporting the closed highways. Assistant Song received a ticket
refund message saying the airline was canceled.

Wenxu Jiang's temples were popping. The pain and the sensation of
asphyxia struck together; he nearly crushed his teeth. "Head back."

He still went back to his and Zhishu He's apartment.

Wenxu Jiang almost watched the snow for the entire night at the balcony.
Everything was covered in whiteness; it was so cold and desolate like the
temporary emptiness after noises and lights.

At midnight, he called Ziyu Ai like he was hit in the face.

He called again and again, and there came the same programmed female
voice over and over again, "Sorry, the subscriber you dialed is power
off..."

Wenxu Jiang felt he was pushed into the abyss by some irresistible force.

The snow hadn't stopped yet, and Wenxu Jiang's mind was exceptionally
clear overnight. He hardly considered and made up his mind just like he
decided to take Zhishu He away at the train station 14 years ago.

The snows were 5 centimeters thick, and the blizzard didn't stop. He
decided to drive to Hangzhou.

He resumed his sense while he sat on the driving seat. His body couldn't
allow him to do crazy stuff young men could do. He called Assistant Song.
Two men driving in turns was safer and faster.

He had to give him a pay raise though.

It was a tough journey. The entire north snowed, and highways were all
closed. Small roads were twisty and dangerous and misleading. They didn’t
feel slightly relieved until they entered the south.

It took them two days to drive from Beijing to Hangzhou.

It was before noon when they arrived at that little tea garden. The sun shone
on Wenxu Jiang's face through the car window; one second bright, next
second dark. The sun was shining but had no heat at all.

It was empty. That two-story building was empty; the jasmines in the
garden were all dead.

Wenxu Jiang stumbled. He nearly fell.

[Your step-mother author has to tell two inevitable things—a sudden bad
ending and plain abuse plots.

There is no heart-breaking abuse in separation and abuse. If it disappoints

you, please don’t complain or criticize too much.]
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
81

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 81: Little by Little, He Became Cold... 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Two days of staying up and this empty house drained the last bit of vitality
away from Wenxu Jiang. But he knew very clearly that he couldn't fall, at
least not now.

Wenxu Jiang regretted leaving so resolutely, or he could have at least had

someone keep an eye on the whole thing here.

Since Zhishu He was gone, the most common feeling Wenxu Jiang would
get was helplessness and pain. He recalled more than once the hug Zhishu
He gave him when he left. Wenxu Jiang often imagined that if he hadn't left
that day, if he kept Zhishu He around, would everything be different by
now?

No one could give him an answer.

If someone was willing to tell him, they would ask him this fourteen years
ago, "Will you make Zhishu He happy if he goes with you?" They
would ask him this four years ago, "Don't you feel guilty to Zhishu He's
true love while you are having fun out there?" "Do you have a heart of
stone? How can you be so cruel to someone that you are supposed to
cherish the most?"

If only someone warned him once, Wenxu Jiang wouldn't make one mistake
after another.

Wenxu Jiang was nearly beaten down by guilt and fear. He didn't even
know what to do or what he could do next.

In days, he and Assistant Song tried every way to find their whereabouts; in
nights, Wenxu Jiang slept in the car, guarding this tea garden where Zhishu
He once lived.

Day four, there was finally a turnaround. Someone showed up when Wenxu
Jiang was on the verge of a breakdown.

It was Ziyu Ai. He alone. He wore a black long coat with a small luggage
bag in his hand. After half a month, he'd considerably lost weight. He was
so emaciated that Wenxu Jiang couldn't recognize him.

Ziyu Ai came back in the morning. He took a cab back when Wenxu Jiang
was still there. Wenxu Jiang didn't think twice. He pushed open the car door
hastily and stumbled at him.

"Ziyu Ai! Ziyu Ai, where is Zhishu? Where is Zhishu He? Which
hospital is he at? Huh? Speak! You are back so who is taking care of
him now? Speak!" Wenxu Jiang wasn't in any better state than Ziyu Ai
was. He just shot out random questions, his bloodshot eyes looked scary.
Ziyu Ai seemed to just realize Wenxu Jiang's existence. His eyes swept over
him emotionlessly. He didn't have the feeling of hatred or resentment
towards him; it was a kind of emotion stagnancy due to the extreme grief.

Ziyu Ai took a grab in the air; he repeated Wenxu Jiang's words to himself,
"Where... where is Zhishu?"

Ziyu Ai's voice was quiet, every sound of him seemed to come out of his
mouth with the blood from his torn vocal cord. "He's gone... in my arms.
Little by little, little by little, he became cold..."

Followed by infinite silence. For a moment, Wenxu Jiang thought he was

deafened; he seemed to hear nothing. He opened his mouth but nothing
came out. The whole world was mute only the sound of breezing winds that
blew away all the colors in his eyes.

As if someone hit the play button to a paused video, Wenxu Jiang suddenly
rushed over and clutched Ziyu Ai's collar. His eyes were red as a crazy
animal. Wenxu Jiang made voices that weren't even like human voices. His
tongue bled as his shuddering teeth were biting it. Every word was spit out
with blood and pain, "You are lying to me! It's a lie! Impossible!"

"You said he was fine... Didn't you say that you could take care of him?
You are lying, aren't you? You've hidden him away, right? Please...
Don't shock me... please," Unexpectedly, Wenxu Jiang knelt next to Ziyu
Ai, "Say you are lying and you won't see me ever again! Say it!"

Ziyu Ai pulled Wenxu Jiang from the ground and punched him hard. "Is it
fun to lie to yourself? Zhishu He is gone... He... He's gone..." Ziyu Ai let
go of Wenxu Jiang lifelessly. He looked down and saw fluids come out of
his eyes. He could hardly control his emotions.

Zhishu He died a week ago. Ziyu Ai didn't even know how he managed to
deal with the funeral and documents so calmly. He watched Zhishu He turn
into a handful of ashes from a sleeping human being without shedding a
single tear. He was terrified by his own indifference.
But now, standing once again in this very garden, watching the pool their
dog once dropped in and the rocking chair and rug he bought for Zhishu He
by the second-floor window and the dead jasmines, he felt his heart started
to hurt. He unleashed the pain that had accumulated for three days.

The man in front of him asked him, where is Zhishu He? And, didn't you
say you could take care of him?

He just couldn't hold his tears any longer. This was the first time he cried
after Zhishu He died and here he cried in front of Wenxu Jiang.

Wenxu Jiang stumbled as he took a step back. He strived to steady himself

and sneered. "I don't believe you... I don't believe Zhishu He would
leave me... He, he..." Wenxu Jiang thought Zhishu He wouldn't leave this
world without giving him one last chance to see him...

Ziyu Ai looked at Wenxu Jiang with his venomous cold eyes; he asked
Jiang quietly, "No? Who made him end up like this?"

Wenxu Jiang's body shook as if he was electrified.

"Do you know that Zhishu has left nothing, no dying wish at all, except
for his funeral arrangement. Like this world isn't worth lingering on to
him," Ziyu Ai's bitter smile was worse than a crying face, "Do you know
what he has left in the end, President Jiang?

"Only his clothes he was wearing when he just came to Hangzhou, and
a bank card with 150,000 in it!" The last syllable sounded sharp and
mean. Ziyu Ai tried to grab Wenxu Jiang's clothes; both of them stumbled.
"150,000! Couldn't even afford a decent grave! Wenxu Jiang... How
cruel of you!"

"He was with you for more than a decade; his body was sick; his heart
was hurt. In the end, he couldn't afford a grave? Tell me, President
Jiang, did you spend more than 150,000 on any of your lovers?!"

Wenxu Jiang couldn't say anything, his lips had turned into dark purple
because of the shock, his face dead white. Words clogged up his throat; he
coughed blood.

By the time Assistant Song arrived, Wenxu Jiang was alone with his hand
on his chest, his clothes covered in blood, muttering, "Someone told me...
Zhishu He is gone..."

Wenxu Jiang collapsed in the end.

Assistant Song called A&E in a hurry. The medical report said he had
gastric perforation due to emotional overreaction and overfatigue.

When Assistant Song found Wenxu Jiang was awake, Jiang had been
staring at the blank ceiling for god-knows-how-long; it chilled people to
look into his empty broken eyes.

"Boss... You..." Assistant Song couldn't say anything else but, "Don't be
too sad."

"Book me a ticket, I'm going back to Beijing," Wenxu Jiang's voice was
weak and aloof, "Zhishu is just mad at the shit I've done, I'm sorry and
I'm scared now. He's waiting for me at home, isn't he?"

Wenxu Jiang covered his eyes with his hand. He sounded bitter, "I
dreamed of Zhishu Just now. He said he missed me a lot... I must meet
him..."

"Boss!" Assistant Song cut him off mercilessly; he knew Wenxu Jiang was
at the edge of self-destruction. "I'm sorry."

"Sorry for what?!" Wenxu Jiang suddenly got worked up; he pulled the
needle off the back of his hand and shouted, "All you lot do is curse him!
How can he be dead? How can he abandon me..." At the end of his
sentence, he choked with sobs.

Wenxu Jiang was almost crying. "Even if every one abandoned me,
Zhishu wouldn't."

Assistant Song couldn't calm Wenxu Jiang down. He took the plane back to
Beijing on his own the very afternoon.
Half an hour before the flight took off, Wenxu Jiang received a message on
his cell phone. He checked it; it was Ziyu Ai's message.

"Zhishu said, in his dying breath, that you must live your life properly
because he didn't want to see you ever again, alive or dead."

Apart from Ziyu Ai, no one would know whether it was Zhishu He's
original word or it was the meanest thing Ziyu Ai made up to punish Wenxu
Jiang.

Wenxu Jiang just turned off the phone slowly like he didn't care at all.
"Zhishu He can't be dead."

Seven hours later, he was already standing in the apartment where he and
Zhishu He lived for nine years. He called, "Zhishu, are you home?"

No reply.

Wenxu Jiang was upset. He turned on all the lights and sat on the couch,
eyes fixed at the door. I made you wait, from now on, I'll wait for you...
Zhishu, I'll wait for you to come home.

Wenxu Jiang rubbed the ring hanging on his neck lightly with a gentle
smile. "Come home early when you have enough fun... I miss you.
Really."

Wenxu Jiang sat on that couch for two days without eating or dining. He sat
still like he lost his soul, eyes dead-locked on that closed door. He no longer
talked to himself in a smile or showed any sign of vitality.

In the end, Wenxu Jiang felt like the door opened in a trance, where Zhishu
He, at the age of 17, waved at him in the school uniform in a smile, and
behind him, it was an expanse of flowers.

Still in a trance, Wenxu Jiang reached out his hand and said gently, "The
school is over; let's go home together." And then, his tears fell
involuntarily.

The end.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
82

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 82: Extra: Ziyu Ai 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Claire.KK

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

You couldn't feel that you were first falling in love with someone but no
matter where you looked, your eyes would always lock on him in the end.
The heartbeat for that person just couldn't lie even if you were in denial
yourself.

At first, Ziyu Ai felt sorry for Zhishu He, a leukemia patient that didn't even
have a close one there for him. Then, his heart ached for him when he saw
him asking about his condition calmly in a low voice; waiting outside his
office in silence wearing his thick down jacket; having trouble standing
after his bone marrow puncture. And then, he fell for him when he saw him
carrying the flowerpot in panic but very carefully; showing half of his face
from his thick down jacket. He knew it was wrong but he still sunk into this
feeling without making any effort to struggle.

Later, every time Ziyu Ai thought of Zhishu He, his big round eyes came to
his mind first. It was a wet, gentle and loving pair of eyes with large
eyeballs and little sclera. The second thing was Zhishu He's voice, light and
slow. A long sentence would become slow, soft music when he said it.

When Ziyu Ai knew the story between Wenxu Jiang and Zhishu He in the
beginning, he wasn't disappointed, but was mad. He thought Zhishu He
deserved better. That man still couldn't care less about him even when he
was in that state. Ziyu surely hated Wenxu Jiang for having affairs out there
while owning such a mild pure man. But at the time, it wasn't Ziyu Ai's
place to do anything. He could only persuade Zhishu He to take medical
treatment; he could only show his concerns as a doctor.

The only thing Ziyu Ai could do was pull every of his strings to find bone
marrows for Zhishu He. Zhishu He didn't care about his body but Ziyu
couldn't. The longer Zhishu He waited, the more eager Ziyu Ai was to
calculate how many days he had got left because of professional habit. He
genuinely felt bad for him; every time he saw Zhishu He's pale face after
his chemo, he could feel the urge of holding him tight in his arms, of taking
care of him, of never letting him carry the burden on his own.

And then an impulsive kiss from Ziyu Ai changed the whole thing between
them. He didn't regret it. Only at that crazy moment, did Ziyu Ai realize
how deep love he was in with Zhishu He.

So he could never let go. He took him away at the expense of his future and
career. Even though he knew the ending would be painful, he drowned
himself in that bitter-sweetness.

Every step they took together wasn't easy. Ziyu Ai knew Zhishu He's heart
belonged to someone else, like for eternity. 14 years of love and hate,
loving that man had become an instinct engraved in him. Ziyu Ai wasn't a
saint inclusive enough to ignore their old love but he didn't have the heart to
leave Zhishu He alone to deal with the pain and suffering all by himself. If
two people shared the pain, would he shoulder less? He thought.

In fact, Ziyu Ai never felt the things he did for Zhishu He was too hard; he
never thought of getting anything in return; only occasionally, he thought it
would be great if Zhishu He actually liked him a little.

Later he found out slowly that Zhishu He's heart was softer than he thought.
Zhishu He also learned to accept him as Zhishu opened a little window on
his heart.

Zhishu He never had a verbal agreement of "being together" with Ziyu Ai

and he never said love and true heart to him. But for some reason, Ziyu Ai
was so affirmative that Zhishu He did love him even just for one second.

One time, Zhishu He felt terrible at night, Ziyu Ai stayed by his side
overnight; next noon, he could stand much longer so he fell into sleep on
the couch. That was more like hypnagogic, during which people could hear
but couldn't open their eyes. Ziyu Ai could sense that someone put on a
blanket on him very gently. That person didn't leave right away, but stood
next to him for quite a while and eventually covered him up a bit carefully.
He spoke as if sighing, "Silly..." His tone was filled with pity. Ziyu Ai thus
fell into a deep sleep.

When he woke up, it was already dark. Zhishu He had made dinner, a
wholesome dinner. Zhishu He sat in the armchair next to the window,
reading a book under dim light from a decorative lamp. The moment made
Ziyu Ai wanna cry. He thought, even God wouldn't have the heart to give
his persistent love the cold shoulder. Everything you'd done wouldn't just
disappear; instead, they would be remembered.

It was good enough for Ziyu Ai. Even if they never had the relationship
established, they were as close as a couple. Zhishu He wouldn't resist him;
instead, he had been trying to accept Ziyu Ai more.

But Ziyu Ai did fear more and more. He wouldn't even dare to think about
what he would become when Zhishu He was gone. Ten more years of being
a doctor, he couldn't save his love.
Ziyu Ai could never forget the night before Zhishu He's birthday. They
were so intimate that night, skin to skin, that they became one, but deep
down, his heart ached so hard. When he kissed Zhishu He's eyebrows, his
tears wet his face. At that moment, he just wanted to hold him tight, tight
enough to keep him with him forever and ever.

Zhishu He seemed to really have enjoyed his birthday. By the time he

talked about Wenxu Jiang with him, Zhishu He was quite calm. Love and
hate had taken up half of his short life. It was time to let go. But Ziyu Ai
suddenly had a feeling that someone was going towards an end. He dared
not to think yet the terror at the bottom of his heart spread like a drop of ink
in clear water.

When he looked back at that day, it was probably that last happy day he had
in his life, and the upcoming suffering days were already brewing back
then.

Zhishu He left nothing in the end, no will. The last thing he said was how to
deal with his body. He died on a sunny day. He said he wanted to watch the
lake and the flowers in the garden from upstairs while his mind was
temporary clear.

Ziyu Ai held Zhishu He in his arms. They sat together on the soft rug. He
stroked his hair and face gently. "You will see blossoms after New Year.
Just wait a bit, alright?"

Zhishu He slowly fell asleep in his arms. He didn't look painful but he kept
the frown between his eyebrows. Ziyu Ai eased his frown and said mildly,
helplessly. "You said you wanted a view but here you sleep as you like."

Ziyu Ai kept holding him until afternoon. Zhishu He didn't fall asleep; he
was in a coma. The room was so quiet that only the sound of Ziyu Ai's
heartbeats could be heard. He tested Zhishu He's breath again and again. By
dusk, Ziyu Ai suddenly saw Zhishu He open his lips. Ziyu leaned over to
listen to his muttering, "The school is over... Let's go home... together..."
He watched Zhishu He as an explicit gentle smile appeared on his face.
Ziyu Ai held him tight, he didn't let him go for the whole night.
Could you imagine what it would feel like? The one you cared the most,
you loved the most, you wanted to spend your entire life with, loses his
breaths and heat little by little in your arms... That was the most desperate
and painful feeling; that was the heaviest punishment one could have. The
most unacceptable thing was the one he loved didn't have him in his last
memory.

Zhishu He's ashes were spilled into Lake Baikal. It was a beautiful place,
where the water was quiet and still.

One would tend to hold their feelings inside after taking a huge emotional
shock. From Zhishu He's death to the return from Russia, Ziyu Ai seemed
to keep drowning in indifference. He even thought, "It's okay for someone
to live without another. Look at me. I'm over it, ain't I?"

About Wenxu Jiang, he just vented his anger on him. He felt like he just
wanted to insulate Jiang from everything that was related to Zhishu He. But
when he re-entered their house, when he saw two pairs of slippers and tooth
sets, the sheets well folded on the bed, the clothes he brought for Zhishu He
in the wardrobe... His heart started to hurt, starting from the continuous
small tingling to suffocating agony that would drive people mad.

After Zhishu He was gone, everything in this house meant nothing.

Ziyu Ai burst into tears abruptly. He didn't look like a man in his 30s, his
sadness was as pure and real as a 5-year-old boy would have.

And then Ziyu Ai went back to Beijing. There were two more things lived
in his wallet ever since. A bank card with 150,000 yuan and a blurred
picture of a man.

Ziqian Ai later had boy-girl twins. Ziyu Ai went to visit them. His brother
showed a chubby boy in his arms to Ziyu Ai and said, "Isn't he look like
you when you were little?" Ziyu Ai smiled, "I don't know how I looked
like when I was little."

Ziyu Ai was here to say goodbye to his brother. He had already had his
Russia work visa, and he was going to stay there.
Ziqian Ai sighed, "Aren't you troublesome? That man, still?"

Ziyu Ai nodded and then shook his head. "I will take care of myself."

Ziqian Ai could never change his little brother's mind; he just wanted him to
have a good life.

"Do come home for me and Dad more often, and your nephews,"
Ziqian Ai sighed, "Take care of yourself out there... If you meet
someone, just give them a go."

Ziyu Ai didn't say no, but only smiled.

Ziyu Ai took a dog and four cats and a piece of memory there to start over.
He no longer held a grudge against Wenxu Jiang. That message he sent was
hurtful enough.

Ziyu Ai was too tired, he just wanted to cure himself quietly and slowly. He
never had the strong feeling towards Zhishu He like Wenxu Jiang; he wasn't
that desperate to torture himself because he did nothing wrong, so he wasn't
guilty or regretful. Sometimes, guilt and regret overrode love.

He could live. It was just... he wouldn't fall in love with someone else again.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
83

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 83: Extra: Wenxu Jiang 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

On the day Wenxu Jiang came back from Hangzhou, he nearly screwed
himself up. Thanks to Assistant Song, he told Jingwen Zhang to get the
spare key from the company after many unanswered calls.

When Wenxu Jiang woke up, his mind still unclear. The strong sunlight
made him dizzy but he managed to open his eyes after all. His voice could
barely be heard. "Is Zhishu home?" He remembered when he lost
consciousness, he seemed to see Zhishu He.
Jingwen Zhang heard him when he came out from the ward toilet. He
gently sat next to Wenxu Jiang and said in a mild tone, "Wenxu Jiang,
clear your mind, Zhishu He is gone."

Wenxu Jiang, surprisingly, wasn't worked up. He just buried most of his
face in the pillow acting tired out. He sounded muffled, "You'd better
leave if you are lying to me with them," Then something seemed to occur
to him. Wenxu Jiang added, "Don't worry though. I won't give myself a
hard time again. I'm waiting for him to come back."

Wenxu Jiang wasn't joking. He did start to wait very patiently. He went
back to work after getting out of the hospital. He took his pills on time. He
became nicer to employees. He spoke less and hardly laughed. His eyes
were so deep when he looked into the distance, filled with solitude.

His vitality and love seemed to be buried by that big snow.

When the winter was past, Wenxu Jiang became much thinner. He really
had aged, not in a "mature" way that we would use to describe a successful
businessman, but aged into silence and lethargy.

Wenxu Jiang never had another man or woman, not even for fun. Every day,
he lived a clocklike life. He just went back home after work with that
puppy. In the daytime, all those pet-loving girls in the company and
Assistant Song took care of the dog, in the nighttime, Wenxu Jiang did.

Wenxu Jiang had changed a lot. He no longer hated living things with furs,
for one thing. Sometimes, he would even sleep with that fluffy little thing in
his arms. During the long night, a living creature could reduce the
loneliness more or less.

He lived another six months in a walking dead state like this. He was no
better than the dead actually.

In the summer, Wenxu Jiang talked business with an acquaintance that tried
to please him. They went to Kaiseki. In the end, the bald guy meant to treat
Wenxu Jiang with a boy, while Wenxu Jiang didn't show any interest. He
just looked down on his watch. It was eight p.m., when he needed to go
home early.

The waiter opened the door, a young man in his early 20s came in. He didn't
speak, he was ushered to sit next to Wenxu Jiang.

Wenxu Jiang didn't like someone sitting too close to him. He looked at this
young man at last and he got light-headed. He saw this face that he was
very familiar with and missed very much.

Big eyes, small nose, water caltrop-shaped mouth, white skin, soft black
hair. The young man was the spitting image of Zhishu He when he just
turned 20!

Wenxu Jiang felt like something clogged his throat, his eyes reddened,
fingers shivering. Wenxu Jiang thought he seemed to have had a very real
dream.

The bald guy reckoned he had got the right man. He grinned at Wenxu
Jiang obsequiously, "President Jiang, have fun with Xiao Yuan. An old
man like me wouldn't follow your pace."

"President Jiang." The young man named Xiao Yuan said docilely.

Wenxu Jiang's dream shattered into pieces. The edges cut him relentlessly,
making him bleed. That day, Wenxu Jiang went crazy. He just exploded
without warning. He kicked the wooden dining table over, saki and
daifukus were over the place. He broke that bald man's two teeth with his
fist. He felt humiliated as if someone desecrated Zhishu He in his presence.
Wenxu Jiang battered the guy in an unclear mind. All he thought was
"Zhishu He isn't dead yet. Are you sending me another him? Are you
humiliating me or cursing Zhishu He?"

He looked back at the young man in loving eyes when he got out of the
room. That face really frightened Wenxu Jiang. Still, he eased his tone.
"Don't worry, I won't hurt you." Wenxu came back, bent over to
stroke on his cheeks and hair. His voice and eyes were so gentle at that
moment. "Tell me, is this face yours or have you had a surgery?"
The young man was terrified. His face paled and he stammered, "Someone
told President Wu... That my body shape was a lot like your late love...
So he spent money to make me the man in the photo..."

Wenxu Jiang suddenly looked very mean. He couldn't even put the
politeness on his face. "My love is not dead. He is out. Understand?" He
had the answer. This time, he just walked away coldheartedly.

If he was born another Zhishu He, Wenxu Jiang wouldn't have the heart to
touch him no matter what. He would even be willing to pay him to not go
out as a social tool with that face. But Wenxu Jiang just couldn't live with
that man-made pretty face. How could he stand this so-called replacement
of his true love? False love was a desecration.

Within a week, that face got cut.

Wenxu Jiang found something terrible after that incident. Zhishu He was
absent from his dreams ever since. He would dream of him every once in a
while, even though most of the time, Zhishu He was blurred. At least, he
used to be able to see him but now, there was nothing.

Wenxu Jiang thought Zhishu He was upset about something getting close to
him so he quit every party that involved sex. But Zhishu He was just not
there anymore; he could do nothing about it.

Wenxu Jiang started to drink, in his own house, alone, like crazy. He
thought getting drunk was the way to dreamland, but it turned out to be
useless.

One day Wenxu Jiang was so drunk that he cut himself with a razor in the
bathroom. In confusion, he seemed to see Zhishu He looking at him with a
pair of pitiful and gentle eyes.

Wenxu Jiang started to hurt himself.

Jingwen Zhang was horrified when he met Wenxu Jiang again. It was early
fall, Wenxu Jiang had already put on a formal suit, face looking like a
corpse, with an aura of decadence around him. He was alive but Jingwen
Zhang knew that Zhishu He had taken Wenxu Jiang's soul away, leaving an
empty shell in this mortal world.

Wenxu Jiang was in denial but did he really not know that Zhishu He
wouldn't come back? Jingwen Zhang knew Wenxu Jiang was making
atonement. He couldn't allow himself to not suffer; he even thought the
eternal agonizing wait was best for him.

Wenxu Jiang looked at Jingwen Zhang and said, "I'll be leaving in two
months. I'm gonna travel around the world. Help me with company
stuff. Pay yourself however you like."

"At least you are not saying that you don't want the company
anymore." Jingwen Zhang looked deep into his eyes and sighed lightly.

Wenxu Jiang shook his head and handed a pile of files to him. "I
wouldn't... You know this company pretty much belongs to Zhishu."

Jingwen Zhang suddenly noticed that there was a stain on the sleeve of
Wenxu Jiang's dark shirt as he reached out his hand, which scented blood
close up.

Jingwen Zhang grabbed Wenxu Jiang's wrist and rolled up his sleeve
forcefully. He was stunned, Wenxu Jiang's forearm was full of scars deep
and light, some scabbed, some still bleeding, interweaving on his forearm.
The scene was appalling.

Jingwen Zhang pushed Wenxu Jiang away and scolded him, teeth gnashed,
"Are you an idiot?! You are an adult. Why are you still acting like a
self-hurting teenager?! Keep fu*king yourself up, you!" Jingwen threw
the files onto the ground, "Now you act like a big lover. Where were you
when he was around?"

Wenxu Jiang stood aside with a dead face, watching Jingwen Zhang
smashing everything on the desk.

Jingwen Zhang stopped when a small bag dropped on the ground. He was
shocked by this thing. He picked up that little pack of white powder and
looked at Wenxu Jiang with sad and strange eyes.

Jingwen couldn't even get mad again. He stared at Wenxu Jiang for very
long and asked in a low voice, "Tell me, what is this?"

Wenxu Jiang's chest moved up and down intensely. As he slowly raised his
head, Jingwen Zhang found this man crying. It was the cry of extreme grief.
He even gritted his teeth to prevent the sound of cry. Wenxu Jiang opened
his mouth, uttering the most despairing words, "Jingwen... I... I honestly
don't know what to do. Zhishu He wouldn't see me... Not even in my
dreams... Do you know only when I'm drunk and my body and heart
are in extreme pain, I get to see him in a trance? But that's not
enough... You know druggies see the best illusions when they're high,
right? As long as I can see him clearly again... I'm willing to trade my
life."

Jingwen Zhang sighed, "Why would Zhishu He want to see you like
this? Drug, huh? Zhishu He refused to see you when he was alive. He
will still loathe you now that he's dead."

This simple blame was unexpectedly stronger than a bang on Wenxu Jiang's
head. His teeth started grinding, "I haven't... I haven't used it... Don't say
that. Zhishu will blame me if he hears you..."

Jingwen Zhang couldn’t say anything else. He didn't know how long Wenxu
Jiang could last like this? He put the small bag in his pocket and closed his
heavy eyes, "When you come up with another stupid idea again... Think
about Zhishu."

Wenxu Jiang rested at home for another two weeks. He had no new scars.
He started to tidy up the house and cook for two; to read books and watch
movies that Zhishu He used to read and watch; to sleep with Zhishu He's
clothes in his arms. He had put himself outside the world.

When he got better, he looked into a lot of travel guide books. After making
all the arrangements, he bought a ticket to start his journey.
He went to many places in the following year, he saw a lot of things and
met a lot of people but no matter how fascinating or lively everything was,
when he turned his back on them, he had to carry all the loneliness again.

Afterwards, Wenxu Jiang took to writing letters to Zhishu He. He liked to

write on long-distance green trains. He went to unpopular places during
tourist off-season. The train was empty, as Wenxu Jiang wrote, and the sun
left light shadows of his pen on the paper. That moment, Wenxu Jiang felt
his chest was puffed up by the long-missing sense of happiness.

He felt Zhishu He was right next to him, sharing their secret feelings. The
letters were mailed out with strong warm love and craving.

Wenxu Jiang didn't burn any of the letters he wrote to Zhishu He. In his
eyes, Zhishu He was just on lonely vagrancy. He never filled in the
addresses. He just mailed the letter aimlessly along with his hope and heart.
He hoped that someday, his loved one would be able to read the letters and
come back to him.

Wenxu Jiang's love for Zhishu He was different from Ziyu Ai's. Their
relationship was more complicated because of all the wrong things that he
did. The guilt and remorse on Wenxu Jiang was too heavy for him to forget.

Standing by Lake Baikal in Russia, Wenxu Jiang could feel his heartbeats,
for the first time after Zhishu He was gone, were in synergy with some
unknown world as he looked at the blue water. Wenxu Jiang asked himself
for the first time that what if Zhishu He never came back? Would he wait
forever?

Wenxu Jiang scooped a handful of water in a smile. He decided to wait

another four years, to feel four years of pain and yearning Zhishu He once
had, to make atonement. ‘And then? And then I will go find you, hell or
high water, I will never let you go again.’

‘I will walk by your side forever and ever.’

 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
84

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 84: Extra: Assistant Song 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Ten years ago, I was looking for jobs when I graduated from college,
Wenxu Jiang's company was the first company I worked in. Back then, the
company was much smaller than now and Wenxu Jiang was not the man
like this day.

I saw Zhishu He quite often at the time. He was a careful, gentle person
who never got angry, he handled things thoroughly and perfectly. He was
proficient at everything, and even often needed to wipe Wenxu Jiang's ass
after dealing with his own problems.
One time, I caught them kissing in the tea room with the door half-opened. I
then knew they were a gay couple. Fine by me though, they were both
great. They made a perfect match, and didn't give a strange feeling at all.
They were really nice to each other, even I envied them sometimes.
Homosexual or heterosexual, being so in love with each other was really
admirable.

Wenxu Jiang loved Zhishu He very much. I could tell by his eyes. He never
attempted to conceal his feelings; he always looked at Zhishu He
passionately. Wenxu Jiang had a bad temper. Every time he got mad, I
would always hide in Zhishu He's office. Gradually, Wenxu Jiang became
nicer and nicer to me. I even pulled his leg, "Boss, why are you getting
nice?" I asked.

"I don't want you to have thoughts on Zhishu He after you two spend
so much time together." He replied.

I thought Wenxu Jiang was super cute, even when he was jealous. He was
so possessive like a dog to its bone. To be honest, I thought even everyone
else in the world changed, Wenxu Jiang wouldn't change his heart. Never in
a million years did I believe Wenxu Jiang would become the man he was
afterwards.

The company kept growing. Thanks to preferential policies made by the

government, we got a lot of contracts. We later bought a whole new office
building downtown and hired many new faces. But I suddenly realized that
Zhishu He hadn't shown up for a long time.

I really didn't know what happened. I figured it out after asking Wenxu
Jiang quite a few circuitous questions. Zhishu He was kept at home. Wenxu
Jiang probably just didn't want him tired or something. I was just
astounded. A man had to wait for another man to come home? What was
this? A man wasn't supposed to be wasted like this! How could Zhishu He
be happy anyway? He was so confident when he killed in those bidding
speeches, when he talked businesses in a suit. Keeping him at home would
only rot this man!
Wenxu Jiang became more and more stubborn. When Zhishu He was
around, he could at least pretend to be nice and democratic, while now he
couldn't wait to show his iron tyranny and supreme authority. But it was
fine. As long as the company was making money, it didn't matter how he
ran it. But we estranged from each other. We used to joke around and were
sorta friends. Now he was the boss, while I was the assistant simple as that.

It was about three or four years ago when I first saw Wenxu Jiang take a
boy out for dinner. That boy couldn't be Wenxu Jiang's first. It was kinda
funny that I didn't know why Wenxu Jiang kept his boyfriends away from
me at first? And then he was all straightforward with me when he found
that I didn't intend to tell Zhishu He anything.

I kinda felt Wenxu Jiang had changed by then. I thought to myself, "Why is
he doing shit like this in their tenth year while nothing happened
during their seven-year itch?"

During that time, Wenxu Jiang went really far. Men or women, he was all
fine. In that one craziest week, he had three different partners. He had this
wild life for several months until one time, a young girl came to the
company to find Wenxu Jiang. He got a phone call from Zhishu He when he
was about to leave.

Zhishu He barely called Wenxu Jiang, and there he called coincidently. I

observed Wenxu Jiang in secret. That man was unexpectedly shocked. He
then quickly walked away from that girl. When Wenxu Jiang picked up the
call, he got into such a weirdly gentle state and said, "Zhishu, what's the
matter? I've been busy lately. ... Are you alright? ... I will be home
tonight, anything you want? ... Sure, love you."

Wenxu Jiang sat still for a while after hanging up the phone. That girl
waved at him questioningly. Wenxu Jiang shook his hand and said, "Go,
don't come to find me anymore."

After that, Wenxu Jiang didn't have affairs for quite long.

Sometimes, I couldn't figure Wenxu Jiang out. He was true to Zhishu He

but it shouldn't be the justification for the wrong things he had done.
Bottom line was, in a relationship, body and heart should both stay faithful.

And then Wenxu Jiang had Zui Shen. Apparently, Wenxu Jiang knew this
art major student in junior year at a college colloquium. Wenxu Jiang's
favorite lovers were simple and pretty students that were still in the ivory
tower. He didn't find another person after being with Zui Shen.

I knew Zhishu He was aware of many things. He must know about the
slightest change on the man who lived with him better than I did but he
didn't make a scene for once. He just tolerated. I didn't say a word and
Wenxu Jiang thought he really didn't know. He called Zhishu He saying he
was busy while he was out with Zui Shen.

I felt bad for Zhishu He as Wenxu Jiang's feeling of guilt at the beginning of
his affair turned into numb.

So I was actually relieved when I first heard Zhishu He left Wenxu Jiang.
That was why no matter how Wenxu Jiang suffered in the end, I only felt
sorry for him but I never actually sympathized with him.

By the time he lost something, he understood the saying "you reap what you
sow", but it was too late.

The last time I saw Zhishu He was when I delivered dumplings to him. It
was a snow day and very very cold. But when I saw that pale emaciated
man as the door opened, I felt this room was even colder than the frozen
world outside. Wenxu Jiang was out there somewhere; all I sent home for
him was a box of dumplings that were losing temperature.

Not until Wenxu Jiang went to Hangzhou for him like a mad man after
Zhishu He was gone, did I know that he had had leukemia very long ago.
The moment I learned the news, I just stood there for a while, all I thought
was how come God liked to joke so much?

And my heart ached for Zhishu He every time I remembered him ever
since. I saw the best of him, gentle, kind and confident; I also saw the
saddest of him when he stood alone in the empty room taking over the food
box.
While Wenxu Jiang, starting from his deep love as in he gave all his heart to
one person, he was possessive, jealous and romantic, to his unfaithfulness
as in his affairs, the lies on the phone and the fact he failed this pure love.

But Zhishu He was gone for good. I saw Wenxu Jiang being swallowed by
darkness bit by bit, I saw him in pain, in despair. I heard him scream, I
heard him call "Zhishu..." in a trance after drinking himself to
gastrorrhagia. The pain, the remorse Wenxu Jiang had was genuine, but it
couldn't offset the mistakes he had made.

I ordered an Akita from the doghouse for Wenxu Jiang on Zhishu He's
birthday. This puppy had helped Wenxu Jiang through the toughest days.
Wenxu Jiang hated animals less. One day, I went to Wenxu Jiang's house to
deliver the files for next day's negotiation, he asked me to open up and get
in by myself. When I walked in, I saw Wenxu Jiang watching Hachi: A
Dog's Tale with that puppy that had grown a head taller in his arms. There
was no light in the room. Dim cinema light beamed on his face. There I saw
that man crying.

At the end of the movie where the hotdog man said to Hachi, "Don't wait,
he won't be back..." It was at that moment, Wenxu Jiang was as
heartbroken as that Akita.

Wenxu Jiang's tears were gone when the light was on, only the numbness
from great fatigue left on his face. He stood up, and that puppy ran over to
snuggle up to me.

Wenxu Jiang went to grab a can of beer and asked me if I wanted one. I had
to drive home so I said no. He then started drinking on his own.

He seemed to have something to say to me.

"I keep thinking about the past lately, not really school time, but the
first couple of years when we just came to Beijing," Wenxu Jiang leaned
against the french window, concealing his emotions perfectly, "Wouldn't it
be nice if you rebuked me in the very beginning... But you didn't,
neither did Jingwen..."
I only put on a smile. "It was not my place to step into the boss's
personal stuff. Plus, Mr. He was not in the company at that time. No
one protected me when you were mad at me." I said it easily but in fact, I
was with a heavy heart. I was regretful, too.

Wenxu Jiang hummed like he was mocking himself, "Right... It was my

own fault. How can I ask someone else to share the guilt? ... Just leave
the files on the table and go home."

I seemed to have misread Wenxu Jiang tonight that he had a weak side
when I saw him watching the movie together with the puppy. But he did
become quieter and quieter. The invisible burden had weighed him down.

Finally, one day, Wenxu Jiang just disappeared altogether and Jingwen
Zhang took over his job for the time being. I wasn't sure if he would come
back but somehow, my heart knew that he wouldn't kill himself just to be
with Zhishu He, at least not for now.

Because he had to make amends, to compensate, to force himself to taste

the indefinite waiting.

Maybe Zhishu was the blend boiled water to Wenxu Jiang. At first, he
drank it because he was thirsty and then he was into all kinds of favored
drinks but not until he ran out of water, did he realize it was vital in life.

You cannot go back in time. Be nice to people around you. Don't regret
until you lose them. This is what I've learned from this story, this is what I'd
like to share.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
85

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 85: Extra: Zekun Li 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

It was early autumn when he first met Xia Cheng but Beijing was still hot,
so hot that Zekun Li didn't even want to leave the house.

It rained during the daytime. Finally, the night cooled down a little. All of
Zekun Li's friends called him out to have fun and he finally said yes despite
his reluctance. They went to the club. He lost his interest after several
rounds of arrow-shooting so he sat aside to watch his friends playing
bowling.

Someone proposed to sing karaoke around 10 p.m. Everyone seconded

while Zekun Li put out his cigarette and said, "You go have fun. I'm going
home."

Yu Song stopped him. "Hey, the whole gang is here. Come on, this isn't
right."

Zekun Li smiled. "I'll pass. When you are high, you get whores and
gambling and drugs. I don't want any of that." Zekun Li was young but
he was restrained. His hobbies were loftier than other childes', such as
horse-riding, parachuting or diving. Zekun Li had some friends that were
kids from normal families. He was sexually mysophobic. He never took
whores with him. He just resented that kind of places and people worked
there from the bottom of his heart.

But today, these people wouldn't let him go. They promised him, "You
decide the games tonight. If someone or something upsets you, we call it
quits. What do you say?"

Zekun Li thought they wouldn't go too far and he didn't want to go home
either. It made no difference wherever he stayed.

The manager had reserved the best room for them. Zekun Li found a spot to
sit down and started to play his cellphone, ignoring his friends who were
shouting about "get your pretty boys and girls here" to the manager.

ZeKun Li was scrolling Weibo while his friends were laughing and
bragging.

One rich boy was quite a show-off. He said the night was on him. They
could spend however they liked. He’d just got a new card from his dad.

Another officialling tried to imitate him. He gave a playful look around the
room and said in a grin, "Pick any song you like. As long as the singer is
in Beijing, I can get them here to sing for you!"

Yu Song wanted a boy. He passed him the microphone. It was their rule that
none of them sang the first song.
As the first note of the song came out, the entire room quieted down. The
waiter quickly changed another song trembling.

The boy picked an old song, large letters of the title and singer displayed on
the LED screen, In the Field of Hope by Liyuan Peng.

The officialling's face twisted. Yes, he was joking, but he wasn't supposed
to be humiliated by a money boy!

The boy didn't know what the hell was going on. He wasn't listening to
those rich kids. He couldn't sing while the microphone was shoved into his
hand so he just picked a song that his mother sang a lot when he was little.

Zekun Li put down his phone while the atmosphere was so intense in the
room. He slowly looked up at that boy and giggled. He waved at the boy in
a smile. "Let me see, who is this fearless kid."

Zekun Li had the highest status in this room. Everyone just laughed it off
after seeing his expression remained the same.

Yu Song nudged the boy towards Zekun Li and said, "Come on, he's
rarely interested in someone."

The colorful lights in the nightclub were so bewildering and dazzling. It

took Zekun Li quite a while to find out that this was still a kid, about 18
years old, very pretty. His eyes were peach blossom petal-shaped, which
was very rare and he had those smiling lips.

Someone handed the boy a lighter. "Light the cigarette up for Mr. Li
here."

Zekun Li smiled, he really had a cigarette between his fingers. But that boy
didn't move; he seemed to hesitate. He was panicking and fighting himself
inside.

Zekun Li never liked to compel anyone. He was a bit bored; that little
sparkle in his heart was out. He just took a lighter out of his pocket. Ding,
there went the blue fire. But the moment he tried to light up the cigarette, a
whiff blew out his fire.

The room quieted down again; even Zekun Li was stunned this time. That
boy probably didn't want to upset the customer but he didn't know what to
do so he blew out Zekun Li's fire in panic and lighted up the cigarette
himself!

Zekun Li tossed the cigarette aside, the tepidity in his eyes became lust like
an aggressive animal looking for prey. "Are you for sell?" He was turned
on.

There was a hint of stiffness and awkwardness on the boy's face but he
looked down and muttered, "Yes..."

Zekun Li grabbed his wrist and got up. He looked around the room as his
friends were waiting for the follow-up story. "I'm taking him with me.
You guys go wild here."

That day, Zekun Li exceptionally picked a money boy. The first thing he
asked when they were in a hotel was "What's your name? I mean real
name."

Xia Cheng, a warm and pure name.

Money boys disgusted Zekun Li at the time. He thought to himself that it

only sounded pure. Zekun Li was brutal to that money boy for fuck. He had
fun. He nearly bled the boy when he finished. A tight money boy was very
scarce. Zekun Li limped when he got off the bed. He looked back at Xia
Cheng, who was too worn out to open his eyes.

"He is pretty." He talked to himself as he took three thousand in cash and

put it next to Xia Cheng's pillow. He didn't bring much cash that night but
three thousand wasn't a small amount. It was as much as a top money boy
would get.

Zekun Li didn't expect to meet this boy again.

It was late autumn when Zekun Li went to the nightclub again after two
months; it had gotten colder. Zekun Li wore a hoodie, looking young and
swanky.

When ushering him in, the manager tried to put his words together. He
seemed to have something to say. In the end, he equivocated, "Mr. Li,
you've bought Summer out, right? It's been a while since you last came
here. He misses you a lot."

Zekun Li wasn't familiar with the name. He said in a cold tone, "I don't
care for money boy."

The manager grinned. "I know. You picked him two months ago, but you
can't buy him out."

Zekun Li was confused. He vaguely remembered a boy though. He

questioned, "What made you think I've bought him out?"

The manager said, "He didn't sell himself again ever since he came back
that night. If someone wants him, he just refuses with your name...
Naughty boy."

Yu Song joked beside Zekun Li, "You're stuck with him."

Before Zekun Li said anything, the manager agreed, "Yeah, a little climber
who's gone out of his mind, but well... He met you in his first evening;
no wonder he has those thoughts."

First evening? Zekun Li was a bit surprised.

And then he did buy Xia Cheng out.

At first, one thing interested Zekun Li the most was that he told the truth
about everything. When Zekun Li asked him why he got into that business,
Xia Cheng went straightforward and said it paid a lot. He also asked Xia
why he, Xia Cheng laughed and said he was the most handsome one among
those people.
Zekun Li never had anyone like Xia Cheng. The boy who was into Animal
World and Tom and Jerry, the boy who always spoke with careless childish
laughter, the boy never tried to twist the hurtful word randomly popped out
of his mouth. He was like a small heater that warmed Zekun Li's entire
world.

Zekun Li learned Xia Cheng's past after they were together for a long time.
The boy did well in the College Entrance Examination. He got into Beijing
Normal University from the remote northwest. The hospital said his mother
had some sort of blood disease. Xia Cheng was introduced here to sell
alcohol for commission at first but he was so pretty. The manager tried to
convince him so many times and kept saying it would get him a rich backer.

Xia Cheng hesitated for long but he made up his mind when he saw Zekun
Li that night. It wasn't the first time he saw Li. he had noticed this man long
time ago. This man was so cool and handsome with a pair of proud lazy
eyes. He might not look decent but he never had an escort for once.

If it wasn't Zekun Li that wanted him that night, he probably would hesitate
longer. Maybe he had fallen for him before that.

When Zekun Li learned all these, Xia Cheng was already a diagnosed
leukemia patient. It was genetic. Zekun Li held his hands with a pale face as
if it was him with deadly cancer.

Zekun Li really loved Xia Cheng at the time. He started to realize that all
those seemingly careless truths turned out to be lies. Xia Cheng, just like his
name indicated, was warm and pure. He'd rather live with others' despise
than trade his misery for compassion.

Xia Cheng was always that silly childish boy who could only sing In the
Field of Hope. He would do stupid things when he panicked. He called
Zekun Li by his name when they became close. He could tell by the look on
Zekun Li's face whether he would be having fun or doing chores.

Zekun Li just said only one thing to the doctor in the ward, "Cure him at
all costs."
Zekun Li thought he wouldn't easily fall in love with someone but he was
wrong.

After Xia Cheng was gone, every time Zekun Li recalled him, he thought he
probably deserved it. He took the bone marrow others needed and he chose
to live with the consequence but how come, in the end, Xia Cheng still
ended up dead.

Time went back to the early autumn night when he first met Xia Cheng,
Zekun Li looked at him in a smile, "Be my boy, will you?" Xia Cheng
blushed.

The dream ended there. Zekun Li got up abruptly. He carefully wiped the
sweat away on his forehead, sighed and held the pillow Xia Cheng once
used tight. He couldn't sleep again, he stared at the little gap between the
curtains until dawn.

"I do... miss you." Zekun Li mumbled and closed his eyes again.
 TDODL (T10YILYTM) - Chapter
86

最爱你的那十年

(The Decade I Love You The Most)

「 Chapter 86: Extra: Wenxu Jiang’s letter 」

Author: Wuyiningsi

Translator: Ruriko

************************************************

A BL story that was adapted from the novel of Wuyiningsi.

************************************************

___________________________________________

Dear Zhishu:

Are you doing okay on your own out there? Do take care of yourself, I've
been missing you a lot.

I'm doing fine; by the way, I've been cooperative with the medical
treatments. Jingwen told me that you probably wouldn't want to see me
living as a walking dead when you come back.

It's just I really miss you in most of the days so hard that every breath hurts
my heart and lung. However, you don't come home; I can only live through
the days... Which is okay, though, if you decide not to come back. You used
to wait for me all the time; now it's my turn.

Zhishu, I don't know why but I haven't dreamed of you for quite some time.
The more I miss you during the daytimes, the emptier my dreams are during
the nighttimes. Is it because... you don't want to see me anymore? I've been
looking back at the past lately and to be frank... I find me cruel. Everything
was so unfair to you. I regret all the time, I hate myself for not treating you
better before, I blame myself for not actually indulging you for once. And
now I'm sorry.

Yet you are just gone without looking back once. You don't give me one
chance to amend.

Do you remember you said you love dogs the most? I didn't allow you to
keep one because I thought dogs were dirty. Now our Akita is half a year
old. He’s nice to the one he is familiar with but he's still unfriendly to
strangers. No matter how busy I am, I always spend time taking care of him
every day. You love animals so much. When will you come back to free me
from the chores? Assistant Song is about to lose it. That puppy has ruined
so many plants and important files in his office during the days.

I went to find Ziyu Ai after the new year. I begged so hard to keep your
coat. How could I leave the coat to him? I remember I bought you that coat
seven years ago. I took you to see the snow, when it was so cold and that
coat was ridiculously large. You just cast it on you and snuggled up to my
chest. You'd worn that same coat for the next seven winters, which I keep in
my mind.

Ziyu Ai's eyes were still ice-cold and filled with hate. Nothing wrong with
him though, after all, he liked you a lot. But the last time when I went to
claim your coat, he looked at me with pitiful eyes which I resented the
most. He still wanted me to suffer but he said nothing else except you were
dead.

I didn't and I still don't believe him anyway.

I was thinking that day when I got back home, "What if you are really
mad at me? What if you won't come back again? What should I do
then? What should I do?" I thought for a long time. I suddenly figured it
out, I could go to those places to find you, where you always wanted to go
but I never took you.

I just gave the company to Jingwen and Assistant Song. I don't really care
about profits and losses. Too many memories about you linger in the
company anyway.

Last month when I was packing before going to Florence, I accidentally

found the sketch album in your treasure closet. It was from our high school.
I drew a lot of your side face when you were listening to the teacher very
carefully. And later, there were front faces because I finally got to see you
face to face after we were together.

But you've been hiding it very well. I thought you'd trashed it a long time
ago. It must have been hard for you, now that I think about it, to bring
nothing but my album fourteen years ago when you snuck out of your home
to go with me. Perhaps because you were shy or something, you never told
me this. I was in a fog.

Seven hours on the train from Milan to Florence, I was immersed in the
sketches of you. I seemed to see you at the age of 16 sitting next to the
window with sunlight all over your hair and eyelashes.

A French couple sat next to me. They were old but they still loved each
other; they held each other's hands tight. They smiled at me when I looked
at them; they said hi to me in English.

I showed the sketch album of you to them after we talked more. They said
you were pretty and I was happy to hear. I said, "This is my one and only
love". I felt great as if you were right next to me and someone asked me
about you, someone remembered that we were together and always will be
together.

Florence is beautiful, just like the painting collection you once showed me.
Golden pinnacles of the churches in the sunset, a warm colorful fairytale
town, but you weren't there waiting for me at the end of the story.

I stayed at home for two months after I got back. Jingwen was still worried
about me. He told me to have my heart checked but I knew I was fine. My
heart disease slowly disappeared after I got through the first several months
without you. I don't want it to agonize, too, because that generally means
bad things are on their way.

I donated my bone marrow the week before I went out again. It wasn't about
having a conscience. I just thought of you. I hope that everyone can donate
their bone marrow so that one day, it will be used on you.

I went to Argentina this time. I visited Iguacu Falls. You were once very
much into Tony Leung and Leslie Cheung. You watched Happy Together
for dozens of times. I didn't like watching movies but I did remember some
lines.

Maybe I have become sentimental. When I stood before the Iguacu Falls, I
suddenly recalled Lai Yiu-fai standing before the fall on his own. He and I
were both thinking, ‘there should be two people standing together right
now.’

Do I get to start over?

Zhishu, I start to hate traveling once I think of you. The loneliness became
heavier as I watched more and more beautiful scenery on my own. Because
I can't help thinking, ‘Wouldn't it be nice if you were with me?’

But I have learned to wait patiently. I will be making atonement in the days
without you to feel the desolation and pain I imposed on you, every day,
every night, every minute, every second. After counting all the wrong paths
I have walked, all the wrong things I have done, I start to know that I don't
get everything you want in life. Maybe it's too late to go back. I don't ask
for your forgiveness; I just want to wait for you with all my strength and
life.

I don't even know if I will have a next life after all the sins I have
committed so all I can do is waiting for you with all of my heart in this life.
Because I love you.

Wish you the best!

Regards.

Wenxu Jiang, the person who awaits you.

Mar. 17th, 2016.

The end.
 POM

It was a rollercoaster.