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09-Copy of Genesis 4.3.23

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Shameer Sajid
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25 views4 pages

09-Copy of Genesis 4.3.23

Uploaded by

Shameer Sajid
Copyright
© © All Rights Reserved
We take content rights seriously. If you suspect this is your content, claim it here.
Available Formats
Download as DOCX, PDF, TXT or read online on Scribd
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Genesis 4.3.

23

Copy Checklist

● Below a 4th Grade Reading Level


● Anglo Saxon Vs. Latin Words
● Short Sentences (Mostly Under 1 Line @ 11pt Font)
● Run Through Hemingway
● Eliminate “Fluff” & Be More Concise (Sentence & Section Level)
● Dimensionalize Pain Points & Benefit
● Add Conversational Inflections (Check In With Reader)
● Vague or Unclear Language
● Specific Proof

Pain & Benefit Block

General Benefit

You’ll lose 48lbs effortlessly. [Overarching Benefit]

Strong Descriptions

The fat will melt from your love handles, thighs, arms and more. [Strong,
vivid descriptions of different aspects]

You’ll feel flooded with energy.

And love the way you look.

Concrete “Dimensional” Language / Future Pacing

When you look at yourself in the mirror, you’ll crack a little smile and think
to yourself, “Wow, I’ve never looked this good before.” [actual events that
will occur]
Or you’ll see your husband watch you as you walk to the bathroom in your
tight black dress.

You’ll be amazed when you can run around the playground with your kid
playing tag for 30 minutes without getting out of breath or feeling tired —
listening to their laughter.

Your friends jaws will drop when they see you and they’ll ask, “Oh my God,
what did you do differently?”

You’ll take a big garbage bag of your old “fat clothes” to the charity store
and drop it off.

Emotional Appeal

You’ll feel fully in love with yourself… who you are… knowing that you’re
everything you were always meant to be.

You do NOT need to follow this structure every time you introduce a pain or
benefit block. But for your big sections, you should.

Concision

Overall, this means:

● Structuring sentences to be punchy and direct. Using active vs.


passive voice is really important here.
○ Active voice is when the subject of a sentence is doing the
action. Passive voice is when the subject of a sentence is being
acted upon.
■ Active: The cat chased the mouse.
■ Passive: The mouse was chased by the cat.
○ In active voice you’re typically using strong, active verbs (like
“chased”), whereas in passive voice you’re using weak,
existential verbs (like “was”).
● AVOIDING repetition like the plague. Double check to make sure that
every line is absolutely necessary. That you’re expanding on benefits,
drawing up new pain points, or moving the story along.
● Adding in unnecessary details or fluff. If you’re talking about
secondary benefits that the reader doesn’t care about – don’t include
them. If you’re telling details of the story that don’t move it along to a
point – don’t include them. Be ruthless about cutting out any parts of
the writing that doesn’t directly contribute to your main goal.
○ Here’s an old quote from Chekov that covers this concept: “If in
the first act you have hung a pistol on the wall, then in the
following one it should be fired. Otherwise don't put it there.”

In general, we’ll ask you to write your letter as concisely as possible, and
then cut 5-10% of it once you’re done. This will help you have a stronger
letter by the end.

Science Talk

Too scientific here:

Vague Language:

Avoid using vague pronouns like “it” and “this.”

Bad…
Vs.

Good…

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