UNIT 6.

WRITING DIALOGUE
Writing Effective Dialogue
Writing effective dialogue in stories is a key skill for bringing characters and scenes to life. Here are
the main points to keep in mind:

1. Reflect Character Voice

• Each character should have a unique way of speaking that reflects their personality,
background, and mood. Consider their age, social status, education, and experiences.

• For example, a formal character may use complete sentences and sophisticated vocabulary,
while a more casual character might speak with slang or contractions.

2. Keep It Concise and Purposeful

• Dialogue should move the story forward, reveal character traits, or develop the plot. Avoid
filler conversations that don't add value to the narrative.

• If a character is speaking just to fill space, consider cutting it or revising it to make it

meaningful.

3. Show, Don’t Tell

• Use dialogue to show emotions, thoughts, or information. Instead of telling the reader a
character is upset, have them express their frustration through their words or tone.

• For example, instead of saying "He was angry," show it through dialogue: "I can't believe you
did that!" he shouted, fists clenched.

4. Pacing and Rhythm

• Dialogue can be a tool for controlling pacing. Quick, sharp exchanges can create tension or
excitement, while longer, more reflective conversations can slow things down.

• Pauses, interruptions, and overlapping speech can also help control rhythm and make the
conversation feel more realistic.

5. Use Subtext

• Not everything should be said directly. Often, what’s unsaid or implied can be just as
important as the words themselves.

• For example, a character might say, "I'm fine," but their tone or body language suggests
otherwise. The gap between what’s said and what’s meant can create tension or deepen
the complexity of the scene.

6. Dialogue Tags and Action Beats

• Simple tags like he said or she asked are usually best to avoid distracting from the dialogue
itself. Use them sparingly.

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 • Action beats (e.g., He looked out the window or She sighed) can replace tags or be
combined with dialogue to show the character’s physical state or emotions, adding more
depth to the conversation.

7. Make It Realistic, But Not Too Realistic

• Real speech often includes pauses, ums, likes, and unnecessary repetitions, but too much
of this can make dialogue hard to follow. Strive for a balance: make it feel authentic without
bogging down the reader with overly realistic minutiae.

8. Use Dialogue for Exposition (Carefully)

• You can reveal important backstory or information through dialogue, but be careful not to
make it sound like characters are just telling the audience things they already know.

• Make the information part of a natural conversation. For instance, if two characters are
talking about a shared experience, they might mention things in passing rather than
explicitly explaining everything.

9. Keep the Format Clean

• Each new speaker gets their own paragraph. This helps avoid confusion about who is saying
what, and keeps the dialogue readable.

• Example:

“I can’t do this,” she said, shaking her head.

“You have to,” he replied, his voice tight. “For all of us.”

10. Balance Dialogue and Narrative

• While dialogue is vital, it should be balanced with description, action, and internal thoughts.
Too much dialogue can feel overwhelming or even artificial, while too little can make the
scene feel distant or flat.

By keeping these points in mind, you will be able to create dynamic, engaging, and authentic
dialogue that helps propel your story and deepen the connection between your readers and your
characters.

Activity 38
Rewrite the following passage in the voices of a male judge, a female reporter, and the grandmother
of Clarence. How do their voices change? How have you achieved it?

Ole Clarence Whoever was shaved clean like an animal and dressed in the kind of hospital suit that
psychos get, with jelly-jar glasses and all, the type of glasses worn by people with mostly gums and
no teeth. They built him a zoo cage in court. Then they sentenced him to death.

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Dialogue formatting
When writing dialogue, there are a few key formatting rules to follow to ensure clarity, readability,
and proper structure. Here's the correct format for dialogue in most writing styles (e.g., fiction,
screenplays, etc.):

1. Quotation Marks

• Dialogue should always be enclosed in quotation marks to indicate the spoken words of a
character.

Example:

“I’ll be there in five minutes,” she said.

2. New Paragraph for Each New Speaker

• Every time a different character speaks, start a new paragraph. This makes it clear who is
speaking and helps avoid confusion for the reader.

Example:

“I don't know what to do anymore,” she muttered, looking down at her hands.

“Maybe it's time to make a decision,” he replied, his voice steady.

She looked up at him, her eyes wide. “You think I should just quit?”

3. Punctuation Placement

• Commas and periods always go inside the quotation marks when they precede the dialogue
tag (e.g., she said, he asked).

• Question marks and exclamation points go inside the quotation marks if they are part of the
spoken sentence. Otherwise, they should be outside.

Examples:

o “Where are you going?” he asked.

o “I’m not sure what you mean.”

o “I can’t believe this!” she yelled.

o Did she say, “I’m leaving”?

4. Dialogue Tags (Said, Asked, etc.)

• Use simple dialogue tags like said or asked most of the time. These are unobtrusive and
don't draw attention away from the dialogue.

• Avoid overusing descriptive or creative tags like “exclaimed,” “retorted,” or “interrupted”

unless they truly add something specific to the scene.

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 • If you use an action beat (e.g., she sighed), you can omit the dialogue tag entirely.

Examples:

o “I’m going to be late,” she said.

o “I’m going to be late.” She checked the time nervously.

5. Capitalization

• Always capitalize the first letter of the dialogue, even if it’s part of a longer sentence.

Example:

“I think I forgot my keys,” he said.

Not: “i think I forgot my keys,” he said.

6. Interruptions and Interrupting Dialogue

• When one character interrupts another, use an em dash (—) to show the break in speech.
The second speaker’s dialogue starts immediately after the dash, and you don’t need
additional punctuation unless it’s a question mark or exclamation point.

Example:

“I was just trying to—”

“Don’t even try to explain,” he cut her off.

7. Action Beats with Dialogue

• Action beats (short descriptions of what the character is doing) can be included before,
after, or in the middle of the dialogue. Action beats help show what the character is doing
while speaking and can add emotion or context to the dialogue.

Examples:

o She rubbed her temples. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

o “I don’t think we should go,” he said, crossing his arms.

o “I told you not to do that.” She glared at him, hands on her hips.

8. Ellipses for Pauses or Trailing Off

• Use ellipses (…) to indicate a pause, hesitation, or a trailing off of speech.

Example:

“I... I don’t know what to say,” he stammered.

9. Dialogue within Dialogue

• If one character quotes someone else or speaks inside their own dialogue, use single
quotation marks for the internal dialogue or quote.

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Example:

“I remember my mother saying, ‘It’s always darkest before the dawn.’”

“Well, that’s some comfort,” she replied.

10. Multiple Paragraphs of Dialogue by the Same Character

• If a character speaks in more than one paragraph, do not close the quotation marks at the
end of the first paragraph. Instead, leave the quote open until the dialogue is complete.

Example:

“I’ve been meaning to talk to you about something.

“You might not want to hear it, but it’s been weighing on me for a while.”

She looked at him. “I’m listening.”

Summary of Dialogue Formatting:

1. Quotation Marks: Dialogue goes inside quotation marks.

2. New Paragraph: Start a new paragraph when a new character speaks.

3. Punctuation: Commas and periods go inside quotation marks; question marks and
exclamation points go inside if they belong to the dialogue, outside if they belong to the
sentence.

4. Dialogue Tags: Use simple tags like said or asked; action beats can replace or accompany
them.

5. Capitalization: Always capitalize the first letter of the dialogue.

6. Interruptions: Use an em dash for interruptions.

7. Action Beats: Use them to show what characters are doing while speaking.

8. Ellipses: Use for pauses or trailing off.

9. Dialogue within Dialogue: Use single quotation marks for quotes within quotes.

10. Multiple Paragraphs of Dialogue: Leave quotation marks open for multiple paragraphs of
dialogue by the same character.

By following these formatting rules, your dialogue will be clear, easy to follow, and professionally
formatted.

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Examples of good and bad dialogue writing
Here are examples of both good and bad dialogue writing, along with explanations of what makes
each effective or ineffective.

Example 1: Character Voice

Bad Dialogue:

"I can't believe this is happening," she said. "This is so unfair! Why does this always happen to me?"

Why It is Bad:

• This dialogue is too generic and doesn't reflect the character's personality or voice. It’s
simply a complaint with no unique tone or depth.

• The character sounds overly passive and lacks individuality.

Good Dialogue:

"Of course this would happen," she muttered, rolling her eyes. "Every time I get my hopes up, life
slaps me in the face."

Why It is Good:

• The character’s tone is more distinct: cynical, frustrated, and sarcastic.

• Her frustration is shown through specific word choices like "life slaps me in the face," making
it clear who she is and how she reacts to adversity.

Example 2: Subtext (What’s Not Said)

Bad Dialogue:

"I’m so happy you’re back! I really missed you!"

Why It is Bad:

• The sentiment is too direct and obvious. It doesn’t create any depth or tension, nor does it
leave room for interpretation. It’s also not very engaging as a conversation.

Good Dialogue:

“So... you’re back,” she said, her fingers tightly clasping the coffee cup. “I didn’t think I’d see you
again.”

Why It is Good:

• The subtext here speaks volumes: the character might be hurt or surprised by the return,
but the words themselves aren’t overtly emotional.

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 • The actions (clasping the coffee cup) and tone (hesitation) reveal more about her true
feelings than the words alone.

Example 3: Showing vs. Telling Emotion

Bad Dialogue:

"I'm so angry at you. You made me feel like a fool!"

Why It is Bad:

• This is very on-the-nose. The dialogue tells the reader the character is angry and how they
feel, but it doesn't show their anger in a way that feels realistic or engaging.

Good Dialogue:

“You think I’m an idiot, don’t you?” His voice was tight, his hand balled into a fist. “You had to go
and ruin everything.”

Why It's Good:

• The anger is shown through actions and tone (tight voice, clenched fist), which makes the
emotion feel more genuine and visceral.

• The character’s words are more indirect, which makes it more compelling and less
predictable.

Example 4: Avoiding Exposition Dumping

Bad Dialogue:

"You know, when I was a kid, I used to live in Chicago. My dad worked for a big law firm, and we
had a huge house. But then my mom got sick, and everything changed."

Why It's Bad:

• This is an example of "info-dumping," where a character essentially pauses the action to

explain their backstory. It feels unnatural in a conversation and interrupts the flow of the
scene.

Good Dialogue:

“You were never around when we lived in Chicago. It was just me and my mom, mostly.”

"What happened?"

“She got sick. Long story. Let’s just say things fell apart pretty fast.”

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Why It is Good:

• The backstory is still conveyed but in a more subtle and natural way. The character doesn't
give a lengthy exposition; instead, they hint at their past without overtly dumping
information.

• The dialogue feels like it’s part of an ongoing conversation, with the listener prompted to ask
questions, making it more dynamic.

Example 5: Realistic but Not Too Realistic

Bad Dialogue:

"Ugh, like, I don't even know what to do now, right? Like, should we just go? I mean, I guess we
could but… I don't know."

Why It's Bad:

• This sounds overly casual and cluttered, filled with repetitive filler words like “like” and “I
mean.” It may be realistic in some situations, but here it comes off as sloppy and distracting.

• Excessive use of filler words can make the dialogue difficult to follow and detract from the
reader’s engagement with the story.

Good Dialogue:

“What now?” He stared out the window, biting his lip. “We can’t just leave it like this.”

Why It's Good:

• The dialogue is straightforward but still captures the character’s uncertainty and indecision.

• The action (biting his lip) reinforces his nervousness or hesitation, and the dialogue feels
natural but without the unnecessary repetition.

Example 6: Avoiding On-the-Nose Dialogue (Clichés)

Bad Dialogue:

“It’s always darkest before the dawn, you know. Everything happens for a reason, and we just have
to stay strong.”

Why It's Bad:

• This is a cliché and sounds too much like something a character would say in a poorly
written, overly sentimental moment. It feels artificial and doesn’t add much depth to the
conversation.

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Good Dialogue:

“You really think it’ll get better?” she asked, voice low. “It just feels like everything’s falling apart.”

Why It's Good:

• The dialogue is much more genuine, reflecting the character’s doubt and frustration.

• Instead of offering a trite platitude, the character’s words show emotional vulnerability and
create a more authentic connection.

Example 7: Dialogue Tags and Action Beats

Bad Dialogue:

“I can’t believe you did that,” she said angrily. “You have no idea what you’ve done.”

Why It's Bad:

• The dialogue tag “she said angrily” is unnecessary and feels redundant because the anger
should be implied by the character’s words and actions.

• It’s a “telling” approach rather than showing emotion.

Good Dialogue:

“You have no idea what you’ve done,” she snapped, her hand slamming against the table. “I can’t
believe you’d be so reckless.”

Why It's Good:

• The action (slamming the table) and the sharp tone of the words show the anger rather than
telling the reader.

• The dialogue is more immersive and conveys emotion without needing explicit description.

Summary of Good vs. Bad Dialogue:

• Bad Dialogue tends to be stilted, overly explanatory, or too on-the-nose, often telling
emotions or backstory instead of showing them. It can also feel flat or unrealistic when
characters speak in the same way, with no unique voice.

• Good Dialogue feels natural and engaging. It often includes subtext, is character-specific,
and reveals emotion or tension through actions and word choice. It helps move the story
forward and reveals character depth while keeping the reader interested.

By focusing on these principles, you can make your dialogue more effective, dynamic, and true to
your characters.

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Dialect
The use of dialect in prose is a controversial issue. Some authors say you should never try to
reproduce a character’s dialect, but others have no qualms doing so. Take this example from Irvin
Welsh’s Trainspotting:

Any minute now though, auld Jean-Claude’s ready tae git doon tae some serious swedgin. - Rents.
Ah’ve goat tae see Mother Superior, Sick Boy gasped, shaking his heid.

Then compare it to the more accessible use of dialect in David Almond’s The Fire Eaters:

Dad winked at me. ‘When tomorrow comes,’ he said, and he changed the subject to McNulty.
‘Mebbe he’s there every Sunday morning,’ he said. ‘I should try to get to talk to him, eh?’ ‘Aye,’ I
said.

With so many variations of spoken English around the globe it would be arrogant to say that only
one form is acceptable. However, it impossible to reflect regional variation without clouding the
meaning of the text. The key is the use of the occasional words in dialect and the use of local syntax
and rhythm as long as they can be understood without too much deciphering. Less is more, as they
say. But if you are not very familiar with a dialect, do not use it at all as it will just sound like a
caricature.

Activity 39
[READ AND WATCH THE VIDEO ARE THESE ACTUAL MILES? CARVER] PDF 15; VIDEO 2

QUIZ 5

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