see-through

Posted originally on the Archive of Our Own at http://archiveofourown.org/works/50592757.

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: M/M
Fandom: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Relationship: Dazai Osamu/Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs)
Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi (Bungou
Stray Dogs)
Additional Tags: Whumptober, Whumptober 2023, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional
Hurt/Comfort, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending,
Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions (Bungou Stray Dogs), Suffering Dazai
Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu Needs a Hug (Bungou Stray
Dogs), he gets it ofc, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Dazai Osamu
is a Mess (Bungou Stray Dogs), Caring Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray
Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo Knows All (Bungou Stray Dogs), Soft Edogawa
Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Hurt Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs),
Self-Harm, Redemption, Hugs, Crying, Crying Dazai Osamu (Bungou
Stray Dogs), Self-Hatred, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Doubt, Comfort,
Opening Up, Kissing, Getting Together, whumptober souheki for the
soul, Dissociation, Kinda
Language: English
Series: Part 2 of Caly's Whumptober 2023, Part 5 of Dazai Osamu Needs Hugs,
And He Gets Them
Collections: Whumptober 2023
Stats: Published: 2023-10-05 Words: 6,509 Chapters: 1/1
 see-through
by calysland

Summary

Dazai was afraid, because despite having his eyes closed half the time Ranpo saw, he always
did, and caused him to drop all his masks one by one.

Edogawa Ranpo's journey of solving this new problem called Dazai Osamu through the
months, and ending up somewhere he didn't quite expect to.

or; how ranpo solved dazai step by step, and fell in love with him.

Whumptober 2023 - Fic 2

Prompts used:

No. 15 - "I don't need you to help me, I can handle things myself."
Makeshift Bandages | Suppressed Suffering | "I'm fine."

No. 31 - "I thought that I was getting better."

Emptiness | Setbacks | "Take it easy."

Notes

CALY WROTE SOUHEKI FINALLY!

here take some of them for whumptober wherhehherhsbfhen

<3

See the end of the work for more notes

Ever since Dazai stepped in the Agency, Ranpo knew something was amiss.

The giggles and mockery were masks that were created with great effort, that was for sure,
but Ranpo couldn't quite put his finger on what was the reason of their creation. Not quite
yet.

Weeks had passed, and something about his behavior, and the glint in his eyes that sometimes
appeared - which he often caught in the Agency's doctor's eyes, too - screamed something at
Ranpo, and it didn't take long before he figured out where Dazai's ties were from.

And it certainly didn't take long to figure out how Dazai desperately wanted to get rid of
those ties, once and for all.

Ranpo was aware that the man was wary of him, probably for the reason how he had seen
Ranpo could read people like open books and didn't want to let people here know his secrets.
He was somewhat close with Kunikida, close enough to torment the man at any chance he
got - probably Kunikida being dense enough to think he was quite an ordinary unemployed
guy before joining the Agency had an effect on it - but he was especially wary of Ranpo - and
Yosano, as long as he had observed, for reasons he could guess but the doctor knew better.

Ranpo wasn't someone who seemed to have close relationships with anyone from the outside,
but he did care about the Agency - it was his family, one him and Fukuzawa had found with
their own hands. So if Dazai wanted to be a part of that, Ranpo had to take care of some
things, one of them being letting Dazai know that he was not dangerous for him or wouldn't
want to kick him out if he knew his secrets, or where he came from.

Which he knew, anyways.

And the other reason might or might not be helping Dazai fight his demons, which obviously
haunted him everyday.

"I'm gonna talk to him," he said to Fukuzawa one day, arms folded as be stood in the
doorway.

Fukuzawa raised an eyebrow. "Him?"

"Dazai."

It's been a month or two since Dazai had joined the Agency, and he had avoided talking to
Ranpo other than having small conversations consisting of one or two sentences, which
Ranpo had tried to initiate but failed.

"He looks vary of you, indeed." Fukuzawa said, taking a sip of his tea.

Ranpo chuckled. "You noticed?"

"I'm not as dense as you think, Ranpo."

He let out an outright laugh at that.

Fukuzawa sighed, putting the teacup down. "He's wary of me, too, for reasons I can't quite
put my finger on."

Ranpo hummed, looking at his side to make eye contact with Yosano, who's been sitting on
the couch in Fukuzawa's office and listening to their conversation.

"It probably has something to do with you being an authority figure, President." Yosano said,
leaning back and crossing her legs.

Yeah, it was probably the best way to put it in words.

"You think so?" Fukuzawa asked.

"I'm pretty sure," Ranpo answered. "It's a conversation for another day, though. Set up
something so I can talk to him alone." He unfolded his arms, bowing slightly. "Please."

Fukuzawa paused for a few moments before letting out a chuckle. "Didn't know you cared so
much about your new coworker," he said, "Okay."

Ranpo only stared.

And that was how he ended up in the police station with Dazai alone, waiting for the
government's detectives to arrive in the interrogation room.

Seriously? he thought. A mission with the police is the best he could do?

He huffed, leaning back on his seat and watching Dazai with piercing emerald eyes. The man
was standing awkwardly, his usual smile not apparent as he swayed on his feet.

Ranpo smiled. Well, if the opportunity wouldn't come to him, he would create it.

"Dazai." he called out, and Dazai almost jumped as he turned to face Ranpo. He immediately
put up his signature smile, hands in his pockets. "Yes, Ranpo-san?" he answered.

Ranpo pouted at the smile. He didn't like seeing obvious fake expressions when he could see
what was behind them clearly.

Well, Dazai had his reasons, he guessed.

Wasn't that why he requested this from Fukuzawa?

"There's a sweets shop nearby," Ranpo started, "Let's go there after the mission. My stocks
are running out."

Now that was a clear lie, but not like Dazai had anything to say even if he figured that out.

"Uh," he said, "Sure?"

What came out sounded like a question and Dazai looked like a scared bird that could fly
away anytime, but Ranpo let a smile creep up his face, satisfied.

"Good."

○●○●○

Ranpo huffed after getting his hands out of his pockets. "I don't have my wallet."

Then he looked at Dazai, who blinked at his direction. The man was so used to be the one
snitching people's wallets - especially Kunikida's - that he didn't quite know what to do when
he had to be the one handing over his wallet.

Ranpo decided he could help with that, grinning and taking a few steps towards him.

Dazai tried to back off but stopped himself as Ranpo's hands found their place in his
trenchcoat's pockets, the older detective looking up at him with a grin.

The taller one stood still with his eyes wide as Ranpo's hands circled around in his pockets,
searching for money so he could buy his favourite snacks.

When he couldn't find anything, though, his grin turned into a pout, face scrunching. "Aw,"
he said, pulling his hands back. "Sucks."

Dazai raised his hands, chuckling. "Sorry, I'm just rather used to having Kunikida-kun by my
side and borrowing money from him that I don't carry my wallet around anymore~"

Ranpo huffed, his smile returning. "It's all right, let's go back to the Agency."

Maybe he couldn't have the conversation he wanted to have today. He was sure the time
would come for that, but he wasn't sure when.

As they walked out of the sweets shop, Dazai paused and turned to him, Ranpo stopping
along with him.

"Uh, Ranpo-san," he started, swaying on his feet like he always did whenever he was
nervous. "I'd like to buy you sweets another time, if you'd like."

Oh, so he was feeling he didn't have to keep the walls between them as thick as he did.

Ranpo smiled brightly.

"I'd be delighted!"

Dazai let a small smile show, and for the first time, it wasn't just a mask.
 ○●○●○

One thing Ranpo had noticed about Dazai was that, the man was a little bit too eager to throw
himself in front of bullets and blades.

He had suicidal tendencies, sure, and it wasn't just a joke like he tried to show it, Ranpo
knew.

But that habit of his wasn't pleasant in any way.

Kunikida was absent that day, due to being called by a government official for some kind of
meeting or something, to join it along with Fukuzawa. Whatever, Ranpo didn't care about it
much.

The thing was, since he was absent, and since him and Dazai had a mission that day, someone
had to go with the brunette in his state.

That someone was, of course, Edogawa Ranpo.

They had talked about it, and even though Yosano suggested that she should be the one going
since Ranpo couldn't fight much, Ranpo insisted that he would go. Dazai only watched them,
hands behind his back as he stared at the two bickering over who was going with him.

It didn't make a difference to him, really.

Ranpo won the argument, being the one to go with Dazai on the field mission - Yosano didn't
know how she lost, because her excuses were definitely better. At the end, it was all about
Ranpo's stubbornness, really, because she had huffed and went to her clinic.

Dazai only chuckled.

The thick wall of ice between him and Ranpo had started to melt, even if only a little, and he
figured the man wouldn't say a thing he didn't want to hear.

Until now.

Because now Dazai had blood on his hands, on his jacket, on his shirt and under his feet as he
sat on the ground, and Ranpo could only stare as the man locked his eyes on his hands, lips
hung open.

It's been four months since he had joined the Agency - or was it five? - since he did things the
way they did, staying away from violence and trying to embrace kindness.

But then he saw the target they were supposed to catch alive attack Ranpo, and he would shot
him, and the detective would die and Dazai couldn't think of anything else—

So there it went, his instincts gained along the years he had wasted in the Mafia.
It's in my blood, he thought.

The black is in my blood.

It's still in my blood.

He flinched when he felt Ranpo crouching down near him, eyes not leaving his hands.

"Dazai."

He thought he was gonna get scolded, or that those emerald eyes would look at him with
dissapointment, or that he was gonna get kicked out—

Then there was a hand in his bloodied one, holding it gently and urging him to turn to his
side.

So he did, as Ranpo's fingers enveloped his own bloodied ones. He looked at him in the eyes,
and for once, his browns weren't blank - he knew it.

Not like he wouldn't get seen through if he could empty his eyes out.

"Are you hurt?"

And there it was—

Wait.

Eh?

"What...?"

Ranpo raised his hand, hand going to under his arm, where the trenchcoat was red with
Dazai's own blood.

As soon as his fingers touched the area, Dazai hissed, remembering he was stabbed there
while he had a close range fight with the target - who was now dead next to him.

"You're wounded," Ranpo said, trying to take the coat off. "Let me see."

"I'm fine," Dazai said with a weak voice, not helping Ranpo but letting him take the coat off
anyways.

"You're not," Ranpo sighed, next taking the vest off. "Stubborn."

Dazai blinked.

"Stay still," Ranpo said, tearing a part of his jacket off after unbuttoning Dazai's shirt.

"No need," Dazai muttered, still not over the shock of feeling someone's soul getting sucked
out of them under his hands after months.
"I said stay still."

"I don't need your help," Dazai said, raising a trembling hand to stop Ranpo. "I can do things
myself."

Ranpo paused for a moment, taken aback by how weak Dazai sounded. The wound wasn't
too bad - he had suffered worse, Ranpo knew - so it was probably the other thing.

He furrowed his eyebrows when Dazai started laughing quietly, hands still up in the air.

"Aren't you gonna report what I did and kick me out, anyways?"

Bingo.

Dazai feared going back to the life he was trying to cut all the ties he had with it, clinging to
the Agency - to his second chance - with everything he had, and now he feared it could slip
away from his hands just like that thanks to the habits he had gained in his past.

It must've felt like a cage he couldn't get out.

"Don't be stupid," Ranpo said, pushing Dazai's hand aside and going to wrap the fabric in his
hands around the wound to hold it until they went back to the Agency. "We're not kicking you
out."

"Come on," Dazai whispered, turning his face to the side and averting his eyes from Ranpo's.

And he looked tired.

"Say it to my face."

Looking from close distance, Ranpo could see the big dark circles under his eyes, and how
the man was getting crushed under the weight of his unshed tears.

"Say what?" he asked carefully, binding the fabric.

"How I don't belong in the Agency."

He let out a painful chuckle, and Ranpo stared.

"You know, don't you? You know everything, you know where I came from."

And there his eyes went blank.

"You know where I grew up. Why are you even letting me stay with the Agency? Come on,
say it to my face, remind me my place. Remind me how my blood is black, remind me how I
can't become a good person, remind me how all this is an act and I'm getting too caught up
—"

"Ugh, shut up." Ranpo cut him off, smacking his shoulder lightly.

Then he stood up as Dazai stared at him, eyes still blank.

"You might be right about me knowing your past, but you don't quite know your present, do
you?" He extended a hand out to help him stand. "Do you even look at the mirror?"

Dazai blinked. "I don't."

And Ranpo might've said it as a metaphorical question, but he was curious. "Why?" he asked.

Dazai raised his hand covered with the red liquid, holding onto Ranpo's and slowly standing
up.

"I can pretend I'm still human as long as I don't see myself."

Ranpo thought he caught it now.

Dazai was a wreck.

○●○●○

When Ranpo entered the clinic at the same time as Yosano exited, the doctor sent him a look,
saying be careful.

She probably noticed the void in Dazai's eyes, meaning the man was letting it show more
than usual.

Now that was a problem.

Ranpo furrowed his eyebrows as he went to sit next to the bed, the seat Yosano had just left.

Dazai was staring at the ceiling, his wound stitched and bandaged properly, hands limp at his
sides. He was fine and there, physically at least. Ranpo was pretty sure his mind was floating
somewhere far away.

He sighed.

"Are you there?" he asked.

All that came out was a hum, and Ranpo was sure he was not quite there.

He leaned forward, taking a closer look at his face and seeing the completely blank
expression. The dark circles under his eyes remained the same, his cheeks were sunken, his
bangs were sticking to his forehead from sweat.

Ranpo let his eyes roam.

Other than the bandages Yosano had just placed over his chest, there were bandages around
his waist area too, and the ones around his neck which Ranpo was aware of their existence
long ago. His shirt was off, yet the bandages on his arms remained, and Ranpo decided
that yes, he was wasted.

Guessing what was under his bandages wasn't too hard, he was sure even Kunikida had it
figured out - the blonde had called them a few minutes ago, Ranpo wasn't sure when and
where he got the news but it was probably Yosano - but Dazai probably wore them because
he was self-conscious himself and not to hide his scars from anyone, anyways.

Deciding he examined him enough and that there wasn't anything that he hadn't guessed,
Ranpo moved his eyes back to Dazai's face, locking his hands in front of him.

He wasn't sure how to start a conversation, or if he even had to start one at all. This was the
opportunity he's been waiting for, yes, but now he was starting to doubt if it was a good idea
from the start.

Now, of course he never made a wrong decision - but Dazai Osamu was a problem even he
had found hard to solve, despite understanding it better than the people around him.

Well, reading a problem right was the first step of solving it, anyways.

"Did you tell them?"

There it was, Dazai's weak voice, a sign from universe that Ranpo had to have the
conversation now.

Carefully.

"No," he said, "I didn't."

Dazai let out a weak chuckle. "Why are you postponing it? What's different between sinking
down slowly and burning out at once, anyways?"

He turned his face to Ranpo when he didn't get an answer. "I failed," he said, "That's all there
is to it."

Ranpo sighed.

"If it weren't for you, I could've been dead right now."

"Yeah, but if it was Yosano-san or Kunikida-kun, they'd find a different solution instead of
rushing in straight for the kill."

Well, that might've been a tad bit true.

Dazai scrunched his face. "If it was a good person in my place, it'd be different."

As soon as Ranpo opened his mouth to say something, Dazai cut him off.

"I don't belong here, you know that."

With that, he turned his face to the other side, indicating he was done with the conversation.

Sucks for him, because he wasn't the one deciding that.

Who even did he think he was when Edogawa Ranpo was sitting right there?

"Why are you so fixated on being a good person, anyway?" he asked instead of trying to
soothe him, because knowing the core of the problem was more important.

Dazai stayed silent.

"Do you believe such a thing exist?"

"It does." He was quick to answer this time.

Ranpo raised an eyebrow. "You don't look like someone who would believe such a line
separating black and white exists to me."

"Why do you think—"

"Or is it another person's words?"

Silence, again, as Dazai turns his head to face him.

"What?"

"Does another person that you value believe in that?" Ranpo asked, curious. "Or do you
believe another person is a good person with all of your heart, that you believe anyone who
isn't like that are bad people?"

Dazai's lips became a thin line.

"Was." he muttered.

"What?"

"He was a good person." he said. "And wanted me to be one."

He averted his eyes to stare at the ceiling as Ranpo pierced his soul with his emeralds.

"That was his last wish, and my promise."

And of course they're dead, Ranpo thought. Of course.

"I can't even keep my word to him, anyways." Dazai's fingers tapped on the sheets with
distress as he frowned. "Not even after he placed his trust in me of all people."

"What's wrong with someone placing their trust in you?" Ranpo asked, even though he knew
Dazai saw himself as some untrustworthy shit.

He chuckled. "Oh, come on," but he didn't bring the rest of the sentence.
"Maybe it wasn't trust," he said after a pause, "Maybe he just wanted me to see the light,
because he... Cared about me." He huffed.

Ranpo raised an eyebrow. "The light?"

"The good side."

Even though he didn't look like the type to believe in that, it seemed like Dazai believed such
things as 'good' and 'bad' existed.

How amusing.

Ranpo suppressed a smile.

A silence went on for a long while, with Dazai staring at the ceiling and Ranpo staring at
him.

"I thought I was getting better," Dazai said after a while, making Ranpo shoe away the
thoughts and focus on him.

So he decided to open up a little bit more.

"I really did. But turns out I'm not, if I can kill someone that easily the moment I sense
danger."

"Old habits die hard." Ranpo couldn't help but say.

Dazai lets out a weak chuckle.

"Yeah," he said, "Habits die harder than humans."

"Dazai."

Calling his name caught his attention, as Dazai turned his head to the side again to stare at
Ranpo.

"You are getting better."

Dazai said nothing other than letting out an empty chuckle.

"You know I don't lie," Ranpo said, "Or that I barely do, anyways. How old were you when
you were taken by the Mafia?"

Dazai's lips became a thin line, and he paused for a moment before answering, measuring if
he could be honest and deciding his lie would get caught by Ranpo's piercing if he didn't,
anyways.

"Fourteen." he said. "Mori found me after a suicide attempt."

Mori.
Ranpo had heard that name a lot in the past. From when Yosano would wake up from
nightmares and keep saying that name over and over, or when Fukuzawa would get drunk on
rare occasions and would tell them about his regrets featuring that name.

Oh, what a man that was. Ranpo had to face him and say a few words someday.

He clenched his fist on his lap.

"Fourteen, you say."

Dazai hummed.

"And you expect your habits as a Mafia member to die easily, just because you joined an
organization fighting for justice?"

The man blinked.

"It'll go away," Ranpo said, "If you keep trying. You're trying hard, I can see that. You're
trying so hard to cut all the ties you have with your past life, and you're doing good so far,
to be good with your saying and saving people with mine. Don't come to me crying saying it
isn't working and you've failed on becoming a good person just because of one accident,
when it's only been months since you've started trying this new life. I bet that person is proud
of you."

Dazai's lips hung open at Ranpo's little speech, and Ranpo could swear he saw those eyes
glistening.

"Take it easy," he said, "We'll wait. This is a family, and you belong here, like it or not."

He let a grin spread on his face. "You'll never be free of us, so you better get used to it."

A pause.

"How can you accept me so easily?" Dazai asked, voice trembling.

Ranpo shrugged. "Ask President," he said, "He knows how the redemption phase works
better than me."

He didn't elaborate, but he was sure Dazai caught the glimpse.

"We builded this family with our own hands from the zero, and you're welcome here." Ranpo
said, leaning forward a little. "Don't hesitate to come to us if you need anything, even if it's
something as simple as a touch."

Because it was about time Dazai understood he could ask for help if he needed it.

"Ranpo-san..." Dazai muttered, and Ranpo could tell he was close to shedding tears after
years of suppressing them.

He didn't have to suppress his suffering, not here, not anymore.

Ranpo would make sure of that.

"What?" he grinned, "You gonna ask me for a hug now?"

"No." Dazai said, turning his head to the other side and Ranpo could swear he saw a glimpse
of a smile lingering on his face.

"All right," Ranpo exclaimed, standing up and putting his hands behind his head. "Then I'm
off now. Call out for me or Yosano if you need anything, all right?" Then he started walking
towards the door.

"Wait, Ranpo-san,"

Ranpo turned around to see Dazai's fingers playing with the sheets, his eyes uncertain as if he
was trying to say something but was struggling with it.

The shorter detective smiled, walking back towards the bed.

"Despite being the one super intelligent person who can keep up with me in the Agency,
you're still a dumbass." he said, sitting near him on the bed and urging him to sit up carefully
to not to strain his wound.

Dazai smiled back. "Might be."

Ranpo pulled him into a kind hug, careful, so he wouldn't touch his wounds.

The one on his chest, and the ones he carried on his soul.

Even though he was still like a scared cat who would run away anytime, Dazai seemed to
appreciate it.

○●○●○

Of course it wouldn't be perfect, not when he was too much of a wreck to be put together
with just a few kind words.

He had his off days, even though the frequency was dropping, Ranpo noticed.

Today, though, was a different one.

Even though he had his bad days before and walked into the office like it was nothing the
other day, today Ranpo had a bad feeling.

A feeling that he might just not walk in the other day.

When he left the office early without saying a word, even Kunikida didn't say anything,
everyone only watching after him as he swayed out of the door.
There was an uneasy feeling in the office, since then. He had left approximately and hour
ago, and Ranpo couldn't sit still, like he knew something but wasn't doing anything and it ate
him from the inside.

Not finding the power to bear it anymore, he stood up from his place, declaring he was done
for the day and walking out of the office. It was unusual for him, since he barely did any
work in the office anyway but liked to munch on his snacks on his table.

No one said a thing other than a wave or two as he exited the office, making his way towards
the dorms.

For the first time, he was thankful that the Agency's salary wasn't too high, so they all had to
stay in the dorms.

It wasn't too far from the office, Fukuzawa had chosen it deliberately so they wouldn't have
to go a long distance and they could walk and maintain a healthy lifestyle - like they all
weren't gone in the head.

Only a few minutes passed as he arrived at the dorms, rushing up the stairs and frantically
starting to knock at the door that he knew was Dazai's.

"Dazai," he called out, "Are you there?"

He was, Ranpo knew, and his question wasn't just about him being in the dorm.

"Dazai," he called out once again when no answer came from the inside, knocking more
frantically now. "I'm coming in."

Etiquette wasn't too important, anyways. Just some unwritten rules people all tend to go with.

Putting his hand on the doorknob, he quickly opened the door, and there was the hallway with
kitchen on the side. He rushed inside, closing the door behind and making his way to his
coworker's room.

"Dazai, where are—" He turned his head, looking around when he couldn't find Dazai in his
room.

It only left the bathroom, which was the worst place he could be in, really.

Huffing, Ranpo threw his hat and jacket on the floor, making his way to the bathroom.

"Dazai!" he shouted, seeing the man in the bath with one arm hanging out.

Red.

All Ranpo saw was red at the moment as he rushed to his side, hoping he wasn't too late.

He wasn't, he knew, the cuts weren't so deep and it probably wasn't intended to be an attempt,
just self harm but Dazai could bleed out any moment.
Ranpo quickly maneuvered him out of the bath, and Dazai whined before gagging on his own
breath.

"Shit," Ranpo muttered, dragging him towards the toilet and opening the seat cover, carefully
holding his neck from behind and helping him bend over.

"Okay, come on," he said and rubbed his back from over the sweaty shirt. Dazai's arms fell
weak near his body, so Ranpo supported him as he started to throw up in the toilet.

He started muttering when he was finished. "'m sorry," he slurred, "'m sorry, I failed again—"
A cough. "It's all over, failed again, I shouldn't have— All I did, it's all for—"

"Shut up," Ranpo said, standing up to close the seat cover and flush the toilet. "You didn't fail
shit, it's okay."

And he was probably shit at comforting, despite doing this for years.

He helped Dazai sit with his back against the toilet, a completely wasted and blank
expression on his face.

Ranpo furrowed his eyebrows as he went to grab the first aid kit.

He was going to call Yosano, but decided against it after seeing the cuts up close. After doing
first aid for years, he was sure it wasn't anything he couldn't handle, and Yosano's ability
didn't work on Dazai anyways. He may as well get the job done himself.

"I said come to us, dumbass," he said as he started wiping the blood clean with a wet cloth.
"You don't have to suffer yourself. I told you."

"Didn't want to be a burden." he said, words slurred as his head fell forward.

"Idiot." Ranpo huffed, throwing the bloodied clothes aside and grabbing antiseptic and
cotton. None of the wounds needed stitches as Ranpo observed.

"You think it's better if you don't ask for help?" he muttered as he started to clean the cuts
with the cotton. "We all need help sometimes, dumbass. We all have nightmares. We all
struggle." He sighed. "You're not special."

A tear rolled down Dazai's face as he started to pull his mind together.

"What am I even gonna say?" he whispered.

"Whatever you need," Ranpo said, "No one is gonna turn you down. I understand you might
need to spend some time alone when you have your bad days, but when it comes to this? I
can't accept it."

It was silent for a few moments as Ranpo finished cleaning the cuts with the antiseptic and
cotton and grabbed the clean roll of bandages.

Then Dazai muttered something.

"What?" Ranpo asked, not hearing what he said the last time.

"I said, I don't want to be alone."

More tears streamed down his face as Ranpo started wrapping the bandages around his arms.

"I never do. I've been alone enough."

"Then why wouldn't you ask for help?"

Silence.

Ranpo huffed once again. "You're insufferable." He kept wrapping the bandages.

"Sorry."

"Apologize again and I smash your head."

This made Dazai chuckle weakly through the tears, and Ranpo sighed.

"Look, Dazai," he said after binding the end of the bandages on one arm and taking the other
one in his hand. "You're not a burden."

Dazai didn't quite believe it, Ranpo knew, so he elaborated. "No one in the Agency is perfect,
I bet you've got it figured out already, don't you?"

He looked up at his eyes to see he was still facing his lap.

"Remember when I said the Agency was a family, and you were welcome there?" He smiled.
"It still remains the same. We're a family, because we help each other through struggles.
Didn't you do the same when one of us were struggling? Like when Kunikida overworked
himself, or when Tanizaki went insane when Naomi got hurt?"

Dazai stayed silent, nodding.

"If you're willing to give it to the others, you should be able to receive it." He binded the end
of the bandages on his other arm, then hesitantly took his hands in his.

"We're not letting you go or suffer this alone," he said, "I'm not letting you."

Then Dazai raised his head, eyes finally finding Ranpo's and the detective could see the tears
shining on his face.

Ranpo saw.

He always did.

"Is that clear?" he asked playfully, letting a small smile lingering on his face.

"Yeah," Dazai said, dropping his mask fully and smiling back. "Very clear."
"I won't find you bleeding out in your bathroom anymore?"

"Hopefully."

"Dazai."

"You know I can't quite promise, Ranpo-san." Dazai said, and let his smile spread more. "But
I'll try. That's a promise."

Ranpo chuckled. "That's all that matters."

They were making progress, that was for sure.

○●○●○

Now, as they sat on the couch side by side, even as two geniuses they let an awkward silence
envelope them.

With arms wrapped with fresh bandages, a clean t-shirt on him and Ranpo by his side, Dazai
felt... Safe.

Despite Ranpo seeing through all of his layers.

And, surprisingly, it didn't bother him.

"Ranpo-san," he called out, hoping to break the silence.

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

Ranpo snorted. "Whatever."

Dazai smiled, dangling his legs down the couch and locking his hands on his lap.

"How about I take you to that sweets shop you like?" he asked, and Ranpo turned his head to
him excitedly.

"You're paying?"

He chuckled. "I won't forget my wallet this time."

It was silent for a few moments before Ranpo let a shit-eating grin creep up his face, crawling
closer to Dazai on the couch.

Dazai blinked. "What?"

Ranpo tilted his head, protecting the close proximity between them. "Are you asking me
out?"

Oh.

So that was what the grin was for.

Dazai fluttered his eyelashes innocently, letting a small smile creep up his face again as he
measured it in his mind. "Would you accept if I did?"

Ranpo's grin turned into a genuine smile as his hand crawled its way up to rest on Dazai's
head, fingers between his brown strands and tilting the taller's head down a little.

"Why don't you try?"

Of course the answer was a question, because it always was when it was Ranpo.

Dazai took a deep breath, forcing himself to look directly into the emerald eyes and not avert
his.

Being genuine was hard, even when he was with Ranpo, and knew he was see-through.

"Will you go out with me?"

There was hesitance in his eyes as he inched closer, just a tad bit.

And Ranpo noticed, Dazai was afraid.

Dazai was afraid, because he always was when it went from half-hearted flirting to actual
genuine affection, and Ranpo wasn't exactly the one to act bold, but they could make it work.

Dazai was afraid, because despite having his eyes closed half the time Ranpo saw, he always
did, and caused him to drop all his masks one by one.

Which was why he couldn't mask the genuine feelings as just some show, causing him to
struggle and stutter as Ranpo's fingertips pressed and moved on his scalp lightly, wandering
between his dark curls.

It caused him to struggle, yet it was easier than ever.

Because Ranpo saw, and Dazai didn't have to say a word.

And that was how Ranpo ended up dragging him closer with the hand he had in his hair,
Dazai leaning forward hesitantly while he held his breath. He saw the taller one's eyelashes
fluttering not so gracefully, his eyes threatening to close any moment. Ranpo held his own
chin up, let his own breath wash over the other's lips as he, finally, decided to close his eyes.

Even if Dazai's body language screamed kiss me already, Ranpo knew he could scare off the
(not anymore) stray cat at any given moment, and even worse, get scared off himself.
Because despite seeing everything, every hidden thought and every masked feeling, Ranpo
wasn't an expert at expressing them himself.

And god, it was hard, but...

He could make it work.

He was Edogawa Ranpo, after all.

He wanted to just kiss him, so he did just that. Leaned forward and, finally, pressed their lips
together in a hesitant, almost scared movement.

As someone who usually claimed to know everything, ask him if he knew anything about
kissing, and he would blabber.

He had no idea what he was doing either way, so he relied on his instincts to move his lips
after a while - when just pressing them together didn't feel nearly enough - and waited for
Dazai to act.

The man certainly knew how to kiss better than Ranpo, so he would be really pleased if
Dazai just let his fears drop and acted on already - because he really could use some lead at
the moment.

The tension in the taller man's body dissipated slowly, and eventually, Ranpo let him take the
lead in the kiss, and - oh, so that's how it's done.

Their rhtym was stable afterwards, with Ranpo trying to keep up and imprint how it was done
into his brain so he didn't mess up the next time - yes, next time, because there would be one,
he was sure - but ending up getting lost in the contact, just like Dazai, who was letting his
hand creep up the shorter detective's body and to his shoulders, then the back of his neck, so
he could bring them closer and had something to hold onto.

Fears were nothing to hide with Ranpo, because no matter how much he tried, he would end
up getting seen. And it was scary, certainly, for someone like Dazai who depended on his
masks for life.

But, this?

Oh, this was perfect.

Showing affection with words were hard as well, but the kiss was perfect.

Because they could get lost with their eyes closed, unable to talk, unable to see, and he had to
do nothing other than keep moving his lips until they were satisfied and out of breath.

This was easy, because he didn't need to speak a word for Ranpo to understand.

He never did.

But this was perfect.

All he needed to do was to stay close and keep their lips pressed.

Ranpo kept moving his fingers on his scalp as he did with the other's neck, light and slow
touches causing the warmth to spread further inside.

And, oh, how he loved that.

It was scary, but Dazai realized - he didn't really mind being seen by Ranpo.

Maybe because he couldn't prevent it no matter what he did, so it might be a type of

surrender - or maybe because it was Ranpo, and he didn't mind him.

Either way, he loved being close to the man, even if the price he had to pay for it was his
layers to unravel and the faces he even hid from himself to show.

It wasn't that bad, really.

When Ranpo parted his lips a little, Dazai thought it was a sign, trying to deepen the kiss
slowly to get more of the warmth and get closer, closer, closer—

Get closer and peel off until he was nothing but a mere colliding of messed up emotions,
stripped of his all pretty and ugly masks.

But then Ranpo backed out, keeping his hand in Dazai's hair as he breathed.

"I think—" he started, eyes half-lidded but shining with a vibrant green anyways and face
tinted red. "I need a breath."

Dazai stared at him back with his own half-lidded eyes and parted lips, and only then he
realized he was also short of breath. Keeping his hand on the other's neck, he gulped,
nodding.

"Mhm," he said, unaware of the same red tint coloring his own face. "Me too."

Maybe he was showing way too much vulnerability for his liking, but...

It was no use hiding from Ranpo, anyways.

And Dazai was tired from hiding.

So it was refreshing and felt like a rest for him, being close to Ranpo and not having to put on
his masks and hide.

He didn't feel the need to hide anymore.

Not here, not right now, not with him.

"So, is that a yes?" he asked, leaning his head down so he could be closer.

Ranpo let out a light chuckle in the middle of his deep breaths, eyes still looking as piercing
as ever. "Yeah," he said, "It is." Then he grinned, tilting his head. "Looks like a burden was
lifted off of your shoulders."

Dazai just let a tired smile reach his face.

Here the greatest detective of the world was, reading his mind once again, for the dozenth
time.

For the first time in his life, Dazai liked being open.

"Looks like you caught your breath," he muttered, and without letting Ranpo say a word or
even react, he dived in for another kiss.

Yes, he thought, It's easy.

It's right.

And despite his fears of the freezing cold or burning fire, it was perfectly warm.
End Notes

CANT BELIEVE I WROTE 6.5K WORDS OF SOUHEKI FOR WHUMPTOBER IN ONE

SIT.

anyways.

yes HERE YOU GOOOOOO

😭
CANT REALLY SAY WHAT I THINK ABOUT IT BC I!! DONT THINK ABOUT IT!!
BUT LIKE. i put too much effort in this piece hope its great

KUDOS AND COMMENTS ARE VERY MUCH APPRECIATED!! PLSPLSPLS LEVAE A

COMMENT AND TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK I NEEEEEED
COMMENTSHDJHDJRHRWKKDJ

when thinking about shk the first thing that comes to my mind is how ranpo can observe

😼
people really well and dazai is literally a closed book covered with lots lOOOTS of carefully
made layers, so i thought i'd write about it

K THATS! IT I THINK.

TAKE CAREEEEE <3

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