Guiding their way back

A resource for people who are supporting

someone after a suicide attempt

www.beyondblue.org.au 1300 22 4636

This resource was developed with major input from many people who have
attempted suicide and their family and friends; people just like you. It has been
developed for ordinary, everyday people encountering the very difficult and
intensely emotional time that occurs after a suicide attempt. The resource
does not propose any one solution or path but provides information and
thoughts based on shared experience and knowledge in the hope that your
journey will be gentler and more informed.
The quotes used throughout this resource come from the people with
lived experience of a suicide attempt who we spoke to in the development
of the resource.

Guiding their way back and other resources in

The way back series have been proudly funded
with donations from The Movember Foundation.

Consider the information contained in this resource in the context of contact

with other professionals, don’t rely on this resource in isolation.
About this resource

How this information might They felt the most valuable messages to
tell you first and foremost were:
assist you
Having someone you care about attempt
suicide can be an incredibly traumatic • You are not alone and you can get
experience. You might respond with through this.
anger, fear or sadness. You might also • One of the most important things
find yourself asking questions; many of you can do for a person who has
them beginning with why? attempted suicide is to simply
It is natural to have many different let them know that you love and
feelings, thoughts and concerns. You care about them and will support
might not know what to do or what to them.
say. This resource is a starting point for • By looking after yourself, you are
working through some of the questions better able to provide support to
that can come up after a suicide attempt. others.
People who have attempted suicide and
their family members and friends played
an important role in the development of Guidance on use
this resource.
We encourage you to utilise the blank
They described experiencing intense spaces provided throughout. Take a
emotional periods following an few minutes to note any thoughts and
attempt and reflected on the type of feelings or information that you have
information that you may need and been provided with or sought in relevant
want when someone you care about sections. By writing it down you can
attempts suicide. refer to it later.
You may also find it useful to access
other sources of information and
support.
For those who have attempted suicide
a resource called Finding your way back
may be of benefit. You can find it at
www.beyondblue.org.au/thewayback

1
Contents

About this resource 1

1. P
 roviding support through
the immediate response 3

2. In the short-term 9

3. C
 ommon reactions 13

4. T
 he person who has
attempted suicide 15

5. Talking about what has

happened 17

6. I f you are worried that

they are suicidal again 24

7. Looking after yourself 26

8. The future 30

Resources and other information 31

Acknowledgments 33

2
1. P
 roviding support through
the immediate response

If either a family member, friend or

someone you support has attempted
suicide, it is important that they see a
doctor or mental health worker at either
a hospital or clinic to make sure their
physical and mental health are both
okay.
It is likely you have been given this
resource by a health professional, but
if you have come across it in another
way, it is important that you support the
person to see a medical professional This assessment will look at:
as soon as possible, even if the attempt • how their mood has been
does not appear life threatening.
• how they’ve been managing their
At the hospital day-to-day activities (e.g. work, family
responsibilities)
For people who have gone to the
emergency department, it can be a • how their relationships have been
daunting experience. The waiting, the going
busy environment and the lack of control • if they have been experiencing any
over the situation can be unsettling. major stresses.
At hospital, medical staff will look at ‘Assessment’ sounds quite formal but
physical injuries first. After these have really it is a conversation to determine
been treated, they will then arrange for what has happened, why and if any
a mental health worker to come and talk risks remain. Using this information,
to the person about what was happening the health professional will provide
before the attempt. advice about what might be helpful after
a suicide attempt. This may include
developing a safety plan, contacting
family, friends and significant others
for additional support and/or identifying
what support services are available.

3
 At the local medical clinic – seeing a General Practitioner
If the person attends a local medical clinic, the General Practitioner (GP) will
discuss the situation and determine if further medical testing is required.
Once the doctor or health worker is satisfied there are no physical problems,
they will talk to the person about what has been happening, what supports are
available at home, and if there are any risks of further harm.
The GP might request the person returns for follow-up appointments over the
coming weeks, or might refer them to a local counsellor or health service for
ongoing care. See page 31 for a range of services available.

While medical treatment • Offer to assist them if and when they

is happening need to provide information to health
professionals and advocate for their
While health professionals are reviewing needs where appropriate.
the person there are things you can do to
support them. • If the person you support does not
speak English, you may be able to
• Avoid making judgments or asking assist by interpreting what is said.
too many questions about what has However, the health service can also
happened – sometimes sitting in arrange to get an interpreter.
silence with a person provides the
comfort they need.
When you are in the middle
• Let them know you are there to listen
of it, you don’t necessarily want
if they want to talk.
someone to have all the answers…
• Provide assurance that you will be you just want someone to sit by you,
there to support them through this.
who will keep you safe, not make
• If you need some time and space any judgments, acknowledge what
to come to terms with what has
happened, excuse yourself and take
is happening for you and support
the time you need to refocus. Talking you while you develop your own
with the treating health professionals understanding.
might support you to understand
more about what is happening. – Heather, 55

4
About confidentiality to the health professionals, as well as
ask for advice and information about
Family members, friends and support your role and what to expect. Health
people can help with the assessment, professionals are able to provide general
treatment and recovery of a person who information and advice to you in these
has attempted suicide. How involved circumstances.
you are however, will depend upon the
age of the person who has attempted If there continues to be significant
suicide, the type of relationship you risk to the person however, the health
share with that person, their wishes professional can talk more openly
in relation to maintaining their privacy about the situation. The focus of this
and importantly, whether there is any conversation would then be about what
ongoing risk that the person may hurt can be done to support and keep the
themselves again. person safe.

All health professionals are legally If the person is still in your care or
required to maintain their patient’s they are under 16 and they do not want
confidentiality but there are some you involved in their care, the health
exceptions. These include if: professional will need to work through
this with them. It is likely they will have
• the person has given their permission a conversation with the young person
to share personal information about what information needs to be
• they believe the person may hurt shared so that family and friends can
themselves or somebody else assist them in feeling supported and
safe.
• they are required to talk with another
health professional about the person If you are unsure how confidentiality
• they are legally required to share works in your situation simply ask the
confidential information. health services staff to explain it to you
and the person you are supporting, so
If permission is not given for you to be that you both understand how it works.
involved you can still provide information

5
 When getting ready to leave
hospital it might be useful
to know:
• Where they are planning to
go. Perhaps consider making
arrangements for them to stay
with someone temporarily if
It is not possible they live alone or for someone

to watch the person

to stay with them.

you are supporting

• What sort of support you can
provide when they return home.
all the time and • What you should do if you are
that’s not often what worried about them.
they want either. • What services can be contacted
if you have any immediate
concerns.
• Who you can contact if you
would like counselling or
support for yourself or others.

Before to going home

It is not possible to watch the person you
Many people are discharged from are supporting all the time and that’s
hospital after a relatively short period not often what they want either. If you
of time. If you feel pressure to take the feel that a very high level of support is
person home or you do not understand required, it might be more appropriate
why discharge is being recommended, for them to stay in hospital for a period
raise your concerns with the doctor as of time. It is important to raise these
soon as possible. concerns as soon as possible with the
Everyone’s situation is different so person and their doctor.
what people find useful after a suicide
attempt can vary. Where possible people
are supported in their own homes but
specialised inpatient health treatment
can sometimes be a better option if
available.

6
It can be useful to write down information from the health professional so that you
can refer to it again later. Often it can be hard to remember things when you are tired and
stressed.

RECOMMENDED SUPPORT SERVICES

Name Name

Phone Phone

Name Name

Phone Phone

7
Experiences with health All health services have systems in
place for people to provide positive or
professionals negative feedback about their
People who have attempted suicide – experience. Written information about
and the people supporting them – have this process is usually available from the
reported a range of experiences in the staff or administration team.
level of care and concern they have Alternatively, consider talking to the staff
received from health professionals. member involved.
Some have found staff to be supportive
and available while others felt that the One thing that helped me
staff were distracted, unhelpful and
when I wasn’t well, and with the
offered little or no time to talk.
pressure and guilt I put on myself
How a health professional responds to for not being able to function, was
someone who has attempted suicide
what a nurse said to me, ‘If you
will depend on their personal attitude
towards suicide and their level of skill had a broken leg and you were in
in responding to suicide attempts. Time hospital, would you feel that guilt
pressures within medical settings can about it?’ I said ‘No’. She said ‘If it
also affect the amount of time they can stops you beating up on yourself, I
spend with patients.
can bandage your head because you
It is important to ask questions and have a broken head’.
talk openly about what you are worried
about to ensure the health professionals – Belinda, 35
understand your concerns.

It is important to ask
questions and talk openly
about what you are worried
about to ensure the health
professionals understand
your concerns.

8
2. In the short-term

The first few days after the • Encourage them to keep the use
of alcohol and drugs to a minimum
suicide attempt (preferably not at all).
This can be a stressful time. Often • If they are physically well enough to
critical issues and questions come up: do so, offer to join them in regular
• What happens now? exercise and physical activities or
take them to places they usually
• Are they OK?
enjoy, such as the beach, to lunch or
• Can I trust them to stay safe? to see a movie.
• Will it happen again? • Offer to gather information or
resources.
There are no guaranteed solutions, but
there are several important things you • Reassure them that there is hope and
can do to support the person as best you they are not alone.
can. As you provide support to the person
• Let the person know that they can who has attempted suicide you should
talk to you about things when they are consider and respond to your own
ready. Be prepared to listen without reactions and needs for support too.
interrupting.
• Assist the person to establish a Offer support
routine with sleeping, meals and
People who have attempted suicide
exercise to regain a sense of control
can really benefit from the extra
over their life.
support of the people around them.
• Support the person to keep Support can be offered in different ways
appointments with counsellors and and by talking with the person you can
other health professionals. identify what would be most useful for
• Remove things in and around the them.
house that they could potentially
harm themselves with. Let them
Practical support
know why you are doing this and that Practical support might include taking
you will return the items when it is them to appointments, being a regular
safe to do so. exercise partner, cooking some meals or
perhaps assisting with some household
duties. It is also useful to encourage

9
them to use problem-solving and coping Support from others
skills so that they can begin to consider It can also be useful to think about a
the many different ways they could support network for the person, rather
approach problems. than just relying on the one support
Assisting the person to source financial person. Supporting someone after
support might be useful if they are a suicide attempt can be exhausting,
unable to return to work for a while. physically and emotionally, so sharing
This can ease the stress and burden that this can provide the support that the
the person may have about money. person needs, while also enabling you
to look after your own wellbeing.
Emotional support Together you could create a list of people
Emotional support includes being and the ways they can assist.
available to listen, acknowledging
their situation and distress, and
Explain your limits
supporting them to talk through difficult No matter what support you offer it is
emotions or thoughts. It is also about important that the person has clear
encouraging them to seek support from expectations about what you can do.
professionals when times are tough or This avoids disappointment or conflict.
if suicidal thoughts return. It does not For example, you may want to consider
mean that you have to understand why whether you want to be on their 24 hour
they have attempted suicide, it’s about or the ‘middle-of-the-night’ contact list.
your acceptance of the situation and There are 24-hour services available
willingness to support them in their to provide support so this might be
recovery. something that you don’t need to do.

Think about what you can do in the first few days to help things settle down.

10
Instead, you might be someone who At a practical level you might provide
assists with practical tasks and makes transport or assist them to keep track
time to listen to their concerns regularly of appointments.
through the week.
If I’ve got something wrong
with my car, I’ll take it to a specialist
mechanic to get support with
diagnosing and fixing it… suicide is
very personal and you don’t want to
talk about it with anyone… you want
to know that you can say whatever
you want and that you’ll be safe and
protected.

rson – Carlo, 39
Encourage the pe
at tend
you support to You might also ask the person whether
y to
appointments. Tr they would find it useful for you to join
ns,
ease their concer at the start or end of their counselling
if th ey are sessions to:
particularly
ta lking
worried about • share your views about how things
things. are going
about difficult
• raise any concerns you have and get
advice
• find out if there is anything more you
Encourage attendance at can do to assist
appointments • advocate for their needs.
After a suicide attempt, people are While getting involved can be really
often encouraged to link in with a health helpful to the person you are supporting
professional. This can provide the it is important to keep their privacy and
support and guidance needed for the wishes in mind. For more information
person to begin to address the feelings about confidentiality and health
or situation that triggered the attempt. professionals, see section ‘About
It can also assist them in planning and confidentiality’ on page 5.
rebuilding the sort of future they want.
Encourage the person you support to
attend appointments. Try to ease their
concerns, particularly if they are worried
about talking about difficult things.

11
 There are often signs or changes in how
Finding the right health someone talks or behaves when they are
professional for the person you having suicidal thoughts. By identifying
are supporting can take time. If what these might be you can keep a look
the person doesn’t like or feel out for them. You can also consider how
comfortable with the health you will respond if you begin to notice
professional they have been these signs or changes in the person
seeing, let them know they have that you are supporting. What will you
options. They could try a few more say to them, what will you do and who
appointments with the current else can you call?
health professional and talk with People who have attempted suicide
them about making the sessions will often be encouraged by health
more useful or they might consider professionals to prepare a safety plan.
trying someone else. A safety plan is a series of steps that can
Whatever they decide, getting the be followed if thoughts about suicide
support they need is likely to be return. If they do not already have one,
beneficial to their recovery, so encourage them to make one.
they should be encouraged to keep
trying until they find someone that
suits them. A safety plan usually
includes:
• A list of the signs or signals
Support them to stay safe that the person is getting
stressed, overwhelmed
It is common for thoughts about suicide or experiencing suicidal
and death to return. People find that thoughts.
their suicidal thoughts can return in
response to significant stress or tension. • A list of strategies they can
Often the hardest time for people to use to get through the times
manage thoughts about suicide or death when the urge to take their life
is in the period immediately after a is greatest.
suicide attempt or after discharge from • A list of people they can talk to
hospital. when they are struggling.
Thoughts about death and suicide are • A list of professional services
not pleasant but the hard part is actually to contact, including 24 hour
resisting the urge to act on them. This and Emergency Services.
is a skill that people learn and become Find out more at
more confident with over time but can www.suicideline.org.au/at-risk/
involve distraction techniques and how-to-make-a-suicide-safety-
spending time with others. plan

12
3. Common reactions

What you might be thinking At the time, I was bewildered…

or feeling I felt enormously incompetent…
A suicide attempt can often come as Was it my parenting skills? Did I
a shock. It can be confronting and cause miss the signs? I felt somehow
you to think about your own beliefs about responsible and guilty.
life and death, trust, hope, love and
control. For some people it can feel like – Jen, 53
their world has been turned upside down.
It is not uncommon to find you have
You may experience a range of intense
endless questions about what has
and unexpected emotions that can
happened and sometimes it can feel like
change quickly and unpredictably.
your questions don’t have any answers.
You may feel: You might find yourself thinking:
• panicked • Why didn’t they tell me they were
feeling like this?
• shocked
• Was there more I could have done?
• confused
• I didn’t realise they were serious.
• angered
• What am I going to tell other people?
• betrayed
• Does this mean they have a mental
• guilty
health condition?
• sad.
• Did they think about how this would
impact others?
Because of my job for 20 years, • Will things ever be the same again?
I’ve seen a lot of trauma, but I have
People will respond differently so it is
never experienced anything more important to remember there is no right
traumatic than the time my daughter or wrong way to react.
tried to take her own life.
– Allan, 55

13
Understanding your own reactions
It is important to be aware of your own It is OK to ask someone else to provide
reactions to a suicide attempt. If you support until you are in a better space.
have strong thoughts or feelings about This does not mean that you do not care
the situation, consider whether you greatly for the person; it just means you
can put these aside while supporting might need some time to recover from
the person. It can be hard to focus on the experience as well. Alternatively, you
the person’s needs when you are still can help the person to set up a support
coming to terms with some very network so the responsibility and
intense emotions yourself. concern is shared.

You might like to take a moment here to make some notes below.

14
4. T
 he person who has
attempted suicide

What they may be thinking Why did this happen?

or feeling You may never understand why a person
People who have attempted suicide can felt that suicide was their best option; it
experience a range of feelings after is likely that there was a complex range
their attempt. They might also find that of reasons that led to the attempt. A
these feelings are conflicting or change suicide attempt is often associated with
rapidly. While others might experience intense psychological pain along with
a more restricted range of feelings or negative feelings from which the person
describe feeling nothing. can see no other way through.

After a suicide attempt, people may These overwhelming thoughts and

feel extreme fatigue, numbness and feelings may be in response to stressful
remorse. While others might feel life events such as:
embarrassed or a sense of guilt. Some • feeling alone, isolated and without
people feel joy and relief while others any friends or family
may feel angry and quite hopeless
because they have survived. • going through a difficult relationship
break-up
• losing a job
I was just so hurt after my
relationship ended that I couldn’t • experiencing a financial crisis
trust anyone… I also couldn’t risk • being bullied at work or school
the possibility of embarrassment • experiencing discrimination and
or ridicule if I said anything… it’s a isolation due to sexuality, culture or
taboo subject. disability
• going to court for legal matters
– Andy, 18
• experiencing drug and alcohol
problems.
Some mental health conditions and
medications will also increase the
likelihood of experiencing intense and
out of control thoughts and feelings.

15
It is important to note however that • My thoughts were so unbearable.
attempting suicide does not always I couldn’t endure them any longer.
mean a person has a mental health • I felt like a failure and a burden. I just
condition. wanted to make it easier for those
Sometimes there appears to be no around me.
obvious life events or experiences • I don’t know why I did it.
that help to explain why a person has
attempted suicide.
Talking about the attempt
When people were asked to reflect on
their situation prior to attempting suicide You may find that the person you support
they identified experiencing a range of is not able to talk about why they
different thoughts and feelings. attempted suicide, particularly straight
after the attempt. They may not have the
These included: words or be ready to talk about it. If they
• The situation was so unbearable, I begin to explain what happened, listen
couldn’t think of an alternative. and respond without judgment.

• I felt trapped. There was no other way Do your best to offer support with care
that I could get away. and compassion. If you find it hard to
understand or you disagree with their
• I was just so agitated and completely
views, try to accept what has happened
on the edge all the time, I needed to
and move your focus to how you can now
do something.
support them.
• I felt totally overwhelmed and out
For more information about talking after
of control.
a suicide attempt, see section ‘Talking
• I needed to get support and let others about what has happened’ on page 17.
know how desperate I felt.

16
5. Talking about what
has happened

Talking to the person

People who have attempted suicide may
or may not want to talk about what has
happened straight away. Sometimes,
they don’t have the words or they might
be worried that others will judge them
or think less of them. And sometimes,
they feel that speaking about what has
happened places a burden on others.
Others may be angry and frustrated with Many people worry
the
themselves and deal with this by pushing
that they will say
ng
wrong thing. Letti
people away.
ar e
them know you c
You may find it hard to know how to start
a conversation with the person about the
suicide attempt or what led up to it. Many is a good start.
people worry that they will say the wrong
thing. Letting them know you care is a
good start.
You may also find some of the following
A short statement like the following may
tips helpful.
be useful: “I’m so glad you are OK. You
don’t have to say anything, but I’m here • Listen without judging. It is likely that
when you are ready to talk and I want to they are trying to deal with intense
support you to get through this”. feelings ranging from anger, regret,
sadness, fear and guilt. While it may
The most important thing to do in the
be hard to understand, it is important
initial stages is to trust one another
to accept what they are saying.
and work together to help improve the
situation. You could suggest that while • You don’t need to ask probing
you don’t have all the answers, you can questions about why they have done
work out a way forward together. this. They will tell you when and if
they are able to.
• Only ask about how they are feeling if
you have the time and are emotionally
ready to listen.

17
• If you have strong feelings or • Recognise that suicide is a complex
reactions about what has happened, coping response to what feels like an
perhaps talk them over with a trusted intolerable situation.
person or counsellor first. • Support them to find solutions for
• Don’t avoid them because you feel themselves. Don’t be dismissive or
uncomfortable – it can reinforce the flippant about ideas or strategies they
sense of stigma. Get some ideas from have to resolve problems. Sit with
counselling services about how you them and support them to consider
can communicate. the pros and cons of each one.
• Remember it is not just what you say, • Offer to find information and other
but how you say it. People notice your resources for them.
body language. • Be kind to yourself. A suicide
• If you don’t know how to respond to attempt is emotionally draining for
something, be honest and say so. all involved. Make sure you keep a
check on your own mood and seek
support when needed.

Take some time to think about what you want to share with the person you are supporting
in the first few days and what perhaps you might like to talk about when things have
settled down.

18
Talking to others
After things have settled, it is
important to talk with the person you
are supporting about what to say to
others. It can be useful to have a clear
agreement about what should be shared
and with whom. It might also be worth
acknowledging that by sharing some
information about what has happened, If you are a regular
s
you may reduce gossip and speculation. user of social media site
Often a short message about what has think carefully about
happened and how they are now coping whether it is the right
time and place to talk .
is enough for most people.
ed
Many people have been affected by
suicide and when you are open about
about what has happen
what has happened it gives others
permission to talk about it too. Being
honest creates a range of opportunities
for people to be more supportive and Considerations for social media
sensitive to your needs. You do not need If you are a regular user of social media
to reveal private or sensitive information sites like Facebook or Twitter think
to other people to get this support. carefully about whether it is the right
time and place to talk about what has
happened.
I felt very responsible and I
didn’t want to trouble other people While it is good to talk to others and get
support, everyone is different and you
with what is incredibly distressing
might want to think about the following
news. things first:
– Candice, 31 • It is hard to know how other people
reading the messages might react –
You may find it helpful to identify the they could become upset and worried
words you want to use to let people know about what has happened to the
about what has happened and how they person or it might bring up feelings
can support you or the person who has for them that you may not know
attempted suicide. about.
For example, “I need to let you know that • It might start other people talking
I’ve recently had a hard time as (name of about what has happened to the
person) tried to take their own life. You person before they are ready to
do not need to be worried about me or discuss it.
(name of person), but I would appreciate
• It can be harder to get private support
it if you could…”.
that you and the person may need on
a public forum.

19
Be prepared for how people I think there is a sort of guilt
may react factor that tends to make people not
How people will react to being told about want to talk about it… they worry
the attempted suicide will vary. Some about what other people think – like
people may react with concern while what’s been going on in that family
others may be quite challenged by the
that’s led to this happening…
information.
For those willing to talk about it, share – Jen, 53
how you feel and seek their support.
Some people may be overly curious
For those who are uncomfortable with
after you have started the conversation
the conversation acknowledge their
or try to offer opinions that you don’t
discomfort but also explain why it is
appreciate. You can respond to them
important for you to talk about it.
by saying “I’d rather not talk about it
If it’s not working for you, let them know anymore right now”.
what you need from them. For example:
• “What I need at this point is someone
who can listen to me without telling
me what I need to do.”
• “I’d really appreciate it if we could talk
about other things at the moment. I
just want to get my mind off it.”

20
I can tell other people what has happened by saying…

I can tell other people that I do not want to discuss it any further by saying…

21
Planning what you might say and to whom
You may find it useful to think about the different groups of people in your life,
what they can be told and why, by completing the following table.

Who Why they should be told

Close family and friends

Other friends

Workplace

Other people
e.g. neighbours,
sports groups, church, etc.

22
What they should be told What they should not be told

23
6. If you are worried that
they are suicidal again

Some practical steps 3. Have an open and frank

discussion with the person
If you are worried a person may
be suicidal or at risk of harming Find a time as soon as possible when
themselves again, the following steps you can sit down and talk without
can be used to guide your response. distractions.

1. Assess the situation 4. Discuss any signs you have seen

that have worried you
Ask yourself what is making you worry.
For example, Talk to them about the things you have
noticed and find out if they have also
−− Has their behaviour changed? Are noticed any signs that indicate things are
they sleeping a lot more or a lot not going well for them at the moment
less? Do they have too much or too (such as changes in mood, insomnia,
little energy? Do they seem sad? withdrawal, agitation, etc.).
Do they have a short temper or cry
more than usual? 5. Discuss their state of mind
−− Has their thinking changed? If you are worried that they are suicidal,
Are they negative all the time or ask the person calmly and directly if
are they overly positive? Do they they have been thinking about suicide.
seem to have muddled or fuzzy Ask them to be honest. Some possible
thoughts? Are they unable to ways to say this include:
concentrate?
• “I’ve noticed… (state specific
−− Have their relationships changed? observations) and am worried about
Have they withdrawn from family how you are and wondering if you
and friends? have been thinking about suicide?” or
perhaps
2. Talk with a trusted friend or
counsellor • “How have you been feeling lately?
You seem to be really withdrawn and
Explain why you are worried and ask I’m worried that things are so bad
their opinion. that you are thinking about killing
yourself.”

24
If they tell you that they want to kill 6. Go back to their safety plan and
themselves or are thinking of suicide, decide together what action to
let them know it is OK to have suicidal take.
thoughts and that they are not alone in
If you remain unsure what to do, stay
having them. Recognise that thoughts
with the person while you contact a
about ending their life are signs of the
telephone crisis support service or
suffering and despair they are feeling.
relevant local service to seek their
Ask them to tell you more.
advice.

EMERGENCY CONTACTS
Lifeline Local Mental Health Service
– 24 hour crisis support
www.lifeline.org.au
13 11 14
Phone
Suicide Call Back Service
www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au
1300 659 467 Local Doctor/General Practitioner

Kids Helpline
– for 25 years and under
www.kidshelp.com.au Phone
1800 551 800

Poison Information Service Local Emergency Department

– 24 hour advice
13 11 26

Ambulance and Police Phone

000
Other

Phone

25
7. Looking after yourself

Managing the stress • Take regular breaks. This includes

taking breaks during the day and
Supporting a person who has attempted planned times for you.
suicide can be stressful and at times
overwhelming. As with any other time • Set boundaries on what support you
of stress it is essential that you look can provide and for how long. If you
after yourself emotionally and physically. burn out, who would provide support
Staying connected to your friends and to those you care about?
family should also be a priority. • Ask other people for support.
Many will welcome the opportunity
It’s all about trying to find the right
to be useful.
balance for you – balancing how much
you can offer others while also looking • Consider speaking with your
after your own needs. employer about what has happened
and what may assist at work, such as
There may be a lot of demands on flexible hours.
your time and energy. To ensure you
remain healthy it is important to try to • Try to reduce the demands placed
minimise stress. on you, even if this is temporary.
Be prepared to say no to additional
requests.
At first, I definitely didn’t think
• Don’t make any major life decisions
about myself... but after a while, I while things are unsettled.
realised I wasn’t coping... It’s like
a flight when the oxygen masks go
If there is a place where you
down: you have to put the mask on
feel safe to talk about things, I think
yourself first before you can put it
it’s got to build your resilience and
on others.
your capacity to then take those
– Crystal, 27 conversations to a closer level…
within your own close family and
friends.
– Jen, 53

26
Develop a support network for You don’t need to be at crisis point to
access a support service. You could
yourself have regular appointments or have an
Finding the right mix of people to arrangement to meet or call them when
support you is a key step in looking times are tough or when you simply have
after yourself. Think about the people questions that need answers.
you know who are trustworthy, good
Remember, finding the right person can
listeners, who you like being with and
take time and it is not uncommon to see
who understand you.
several service providers before you find
Some people, who have had similar one that fits. If you don’t relate to the
experiences, have also found it first person, try to find someone else.
helpful to link with other people in
For a list of support services see section
person or online.
‘Resources and other information’ on
• Catch up regularly with friends, family page 31.
members and significant others.
• Identify people in your community Your brain’s trying to solve
who you trust and can talk to.
an issue that it’s not able to solve
and getting support – borrowing
I had a close family friend someone else’s head to support you
who was bereaved by suicide and I solve it – is really paramount.
connected with a group that she was
part of… Even though I had found – Heather, 55
it really hard to say anything to my
family members about my son, I
had no trouble sharing things with
that group and I really admired the
others who were so open about it…
and the way they pulled together
like a little community… it went a
long way toward healing.
– Jen, 53
It’s all about trying to
Access support services
find the right balance
You may find it helpful to access a
for you – balancing how
support service to talk about what has
happened and to work out how you can much you can offer
move forward. Health professionals also others while also looking
understand that you need to look after after your own needs.
yourself in order to support someone
else.

27
Making time for yourself • Make sure relaxation is built into
your routine; breathing exercises,
During stressful times, it’s easy to
progressive muscle relaxation,
overlook your own needs.
meditation, yoga and Tai Chi can be
• Look for ways to include activities good ways to do this.
you enjoy within your usual routine.
• Spend time with people you like Meaning and purpose
to be with.
To help cope through difficult times
• Remember to look for fun and to work out what is important to you, do
laugh. things that make you feel good.
• Stay in the moment – notice the times • Get involved in activities that you feel
when you are enjoying things. are worthwhile and in which you feel
valued.
Consider your lifestyle • Make regular time for your interests
Your wellbeing will be affected by your and hobbies. Think about joining a
lifestyle. It can be helpful to think about group or studying something you
whether your lifestyle is supporting or have always been interested in.
hindering your capacity to cope. • Consider volunteering or how you can
give back to the community.
• Eat a balanced and nutritious diet.
Include a variety of healthy foods • Develop an understanding of your
including plenty of vegetables, experiences. You may be able to do
fruit and cereals, some lean meat, this by yourself or by talking with
chicken or fish, dairy products and someone else (or a support service).
lots of water. You may find it helpful to connect
with a church, some other spiritual
• Reduce consumption of alcohol and
pursuit or participate in creative
other drugs.
activities in your community.
• Engage in regular exercise.
• Plan something to look forward to,
• Establish a good sleep pattern. such as a holiday.

28
Have a think about some things you could do to look after yourself.

Physical health: I could… Mental health: I could…

Social health: I could… Meaning and purpose: I could…

29
8. The future

After a suicide attempt it can be hard to

see what the future holds. It is important
to remember that there is hope for
change but that change often happens
slowly. There will be ups and downs but
with support, the person you care about
can find a way forward.
You might also find that this experience
has changed your focus and priorities.
You might find that you are making
different decisions.
It is important to
After my suicide attempt six remember that there
years ago, I kept remembering is hope for change
a quote from Winston Churchill: but that change often
‘When you are going through hell…
just keep going.’ This gave me great
happens slowly.
faith that somehow I would find a
way out. Which I did and I’m really The people involved in this project talked
about suicide being a part of their past
enjoying life now.
but that it was not going to define their
– Max, 54 future. They wished the same for you,
that you can look to the future with a
This resource was developed to bring sense of hope for you and the person you
together the wisdom and experiences are supporting.
of people with a personal experience
of suicide and combine it with what we One of the most important
know to be helpful.
things is to be able to look in the
We hope we have provided the best mirror and say to yourself: You will
possible information to help you
get through this… you have a few
get through the challenges and
opportunities associated with a suicide problems with this and that, but
attempt. you can take a step a day towards
solving them.
– Michael, 57
30
Resources and other information

GENER AL
Lifeline Black Dog Institute
www.lifeline.org.au www.blackdoginstitute.org.au
13 11 14 Online information and resources
Free, confidential, 24 hour telephone (including self-tests) on the diagnosis,
and online crisis support service. treatment and prevention of mood
The website also provides a range of disorders such as depression and
information. bipolar disorder.

Suicide Call Back Service Living is for Everyone (LIFE)

www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au Resources
1300 659 467 www.livingisforeveryone.com.au
Free, confidential, 24 hour telephone The Federal Government’s suicide
and online counselling service for prevention framework and supporting
people who are suicidal and anyone resources for people across the
wanting to talk through concerns. community wanting information
The website also provides a range of on suicide and suicide prevention.
information and resources. Includes a range of fact sheets about
rates of suicide in Australia, suicide
beyondblue warning signs and how to respond to
www.beyondblue.org.au suicidal thoughts.
1300 22 4636
Suicide Prevention Australia
Free, 24 hour telephone information
www.suicidepreventionaust.org
and online chat from a trained health
02 9223 3333
professional. Website provides a
range of information to reduce the National peak body for the suicide
impact of depression and anxiety in prevention sector in Australia.
the community by raising awareness Supports communities and
and understanding, empowering organisations throughout Australia,
people to seek support and and promotes collaboration and
supporting recovery, management partnerships in suicide and self-
and resilience. harm prevention, intervention
and postvention.

31
 FOR CHILDREN AND YOUNG PEOPLE AGED 25 YE ARS AND UNDER
Kids Helpline headspace
www.kidshelp.com.au www.headspace.org.au
1800 551 800 1800 650 890
Free confidential 24 hour telephone, Online chat, counselling, forums
email and web counselling. The and information about youth mental
website also provides a range of health issues. Face-to-face support
information and resources. services for young people and anyone
supporting them are available at
ReachOut headspace centres throughout the
reachout.com.au country – check the website to find the
Online forums and chat, fact closest one to you.
sheets and videos about youth
mental health issues.

FOR CARERS AND OTHERS PROVIDING SUPPORT TO A PERSON

WHO HA S AT TEMPTED SUICIDE
Carers Australia ARAFEMI
www.carersaustralia.com.au www.arafemi.org.au
1800 242 636 1300 550 265
Manages the delivery of national Provides services for people with
programs, support and services a mental illness and their carers.
for carers across the country. This It offers telephone and online
includes the Carer Advisory Service information and support services
and Carer Counselling Program. It for carers, as well as carer support
also advocates and lobbies on a wide groups in some areas. The carer
range of issues that affect carers. support line listed above is staffed
9am to 5pm, Monday to Friday.
Family Drug Support – Support Line
1300 368 186 Carelink
www.health.gov.au/ccsd/
Free confidential 24 hour telephone
1800 052 222
assistance for families affected by
alcohol and other drugs. Also known as Commonwealth Carer
Respite Centres. Can purchase,
organise or manage the delivery of
respite care assistance packages
tailored to individual carers’ needs and
those they care for.

32
Acknowledgments

This resource was developed in

partnership by beyondblue and the PROVIDING FEEDBACK
Hunter Institute of Mental Health.
This is a new resource…
Community experts with personal
we welcome all feedback,
experience of the impact of suicide also
comments and suggestions.
played a key role as part of the Project
Working Group. Please email suicideprevention@
beyondblue.org.au
We would like to acknowledge and
thank all stakeholders and people with
personal experience, including family
members and friends, who took part in
the consultation process.
A special thanks to the blueVoices
members who appear in many of the
photos throughout.
Guiding their way back and other
resources in The way back series have
been proudly funded with donations from
The Movember Foundation.

33
Other general notes

34
35
 MY CONTACTS
General Practitioner Other

Phone Phone

Mental Health Service Other

Phone Phone

Counsellor Other

Phone Phone

EMERGENCY CONTACTS
Lifeline beyondblue
13 11 14 1300 22 4636
www.lifeline.org.au www.beyondblue.org.au

Suicide Call Back Service Other

1300 659 467
www.suicidecallbackservice.org.au

Poison Information Service Phone

13 11 26

Ambulance and Police

000 Phone

36
Hope. Recovery. Resilience. Find out more at www.beyondblue.org.au
Where to find more information
beyondblue
www.beyondblue.org.au
Learn more about anxiety and depression, or talk it through with our Support Service.
1300 22 4636
Email or chat to us online at www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport

mindhealthconnect
www.mindhealthconnect.org.au
Access to trusted, relevant mental health care services, online programs and resources.

Guiding their way back and other resources in

The way back series have been proudly funded
with donations from The Movember Foundation.

facebook.com/beyondblue @beyondblue @beyondblueofficial

Donate online www.beyondblue.org.au/donations

© Beyond Blue Ltd. BL/1161 07/14