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 Ordinary and Partial Differential
Equation Routines in C, C++,
Fortran, Java®, Maple®, and MATLAB®
H.J. Lee and W.E. Schiesser

CHAPMAN & HALL/CRC

A CRC Press Company
Boca Raton London New York Washington, D.C.

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 Preface

Initial value ordinary differential equations (ODEs) and partial differential

equations (PDEs) are among the most widely used forms of mathematics in
science and engineering. However, insights from ODE/PDE-based models
are realized only when solutions to the equations are produced with accept-
able accuracy and with reasonable effort.
Most ODE/PDE models are complicated enough (e.g., sets of simultane-
ous nonlinear equations) to preclude analytical methods of solution; instead,
numerical methods must be used, which is the central topic of this book.
The calculation of a numerical solution usually requires that well-
established numerical integration algorithms are implemented in quality li-
brary routines. The library routines in turn can be coded (programmed) in a
variety of programming languages. Typically, for a scientist or engineer with
an ODE/PDE- based mathematical model, finding routines written in a famil-
iar language can be a demanding requirement, and perhaps even impossible
(if such routines do not exist).
The purpose of this book, therefore, is to provide a set of ODE/PDE in-
tegration routines written in six widely accepted and used languages. Our
intention is to facilitate ODE/PDE-based analysis by using the library rou-
tines to compute reliable numerical solutions to the ODE/PDE system of
interest.
However, the integration of ODE/PDEs is a large subject, and to keep this
discussion to reasonable length, we have limited the selection of algorithms
and the associated routines. Specifically, we concentrate on explicit (nonstiff)
Runge Kutta (RK) embedded pairs. Within this setting, we have provided
integrators that are both fixed step and variable step; the latter accept a user-
specified error tolerance and attempt to compute a solution to this required
accuracy. The discussion of ODE integration includes truncation error moni-
toring and control, h and p refinement, stability and stiffness, and explicit and
implicit algorithms. Extensions to stiff systems are also discussed and illus-
trated through an ODE application; however, a detailed presentation of stiff
(implicit) algorithms and associated software in six languages was judged
impractical for a book of reasonable length.
Further, we have illustrated the application of the ODE integration routines
to PDEs through the method of lines (MOL). Briefly, the spatial (boundary
value) derivatives of the PDEs are approximated algebraically, typically by
finite differences (FDs); the resulting system of initial-value ODEs is then
solved numerically by one of the ODE routines.

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 Thus, we have attempted to provide the reader with a set of computational
tools for the convenient solution of ODE/PDE models when programming
in any of the six languages. The discussion is introductory with limited math-
ematical details. Rather, we rely on numerical results to illustrate some basic
mathematical properties, and we avoid detailed mathematical analysis (e.g.,
theorems and proofs), which may not really provide much assistance in the
actual calculation of numerical solutions to ODE/PDE problems.
Instead, we have attempted to provide useful computational tools in the
form of software. The use of the software is illustrated through a small number
of ODE/PDE applications; in each case, the complete code is first presented,
and then its components are discussed in detail, with particular reference
to the concepts of integration, e.g., stability, error monitoring, and control.
Since the algorithms and the associated software have limitations (as do all
algorithms and software), we have tried to point out these limitations, and
make suggestions for additional methods that could be effective.
Also, we have intentionally avoided using features specific to a particular
language, e.g., sparse utilities, object-oriented programming. Rather, we have
emphasized the commonality of the programming in the six languages, and
thereby illustrate how scientific computation can be done in any of the lan-
guages. Of course, language-specific features can be added to the source code
that is provided.
We hope this format will allow the reader to understand the basic elements
of ODE/PDE integration, and then proceed expeditiously to a numerical solu-
tion of the ODE/PDE system of interest. The applications discussed in detail,
two in ODEs and two in PDEs, can be used as a starting point (i.e., as tem-
plates) for the development of a spectrum of new applications.
We welcome comments and questions about how we might be of assis-
tance (directed to [email protected]). Information for acquiring (gratis) all the
source code in this book is available from http://www.lehigh.edu/˜ wes1/
wes1.html. Additional information about the book and software is available
from the CRC Press Web site, http://www.crcpress.com.
Dr. Fred Chapman provided expert assistance with the Maple program-
ming. We note with sadness the passing of Jaeson Lee, father of H. J. Lee,
during the completion of H. J. Lee’s graduate studies at Lehigh University.

H. J. Lee
W. E. Schiesser
Bethlehem, PA

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 Contents

1 Some Basics of ODE Integration

1.1 General Initial Value ODE Problem
1.2 Origin of ODE Integrators in the Taylor Series
1.3 The Runge Kutta Method
1.4 Accuracy of RK Methods
1.5 Embedded RK Algorithms
1.6 Library ODE Integrators
1.7 Stability of RK Methods

2 Solution of a 1x1 ODE System

2.1 Programming in MATLAB
2.2 Programming in C
2.3 Programming in C++
2.4 Programming in Fortran
2.5 Programming in Java
2.6 Programming in Maple

3 Solution of a 2x2 ODE System

3.1 Programming in MATLAB
3.2 Programming in C
3.3 Programming in C++
3.4 Programming in Fortran
3.5 Programming in Java
3.6 Programming in Maple

4 Solution of a Linear PDE

4.1 Programming in MATLAB
4.2 Programming in C
4.3 Programming in C++
4.4 Programming in Fortran
4.5 Programming in Java
4.6 Programming in Maple

5 Solution of a Nonlinear PDE

5.1 Programming in MATLAB
5.2 Programming in C
5.3 Programming in C++
5.4 Programming in Fortran

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 5.5 Programming in Java
5.6 Programming in Maple

Appendix A Embedded Runge Kutta Pairs

Appendix B Integrals from ODEs
Appendix C Stiff ODE Integration
C.1 The BDF Formulas Applied to the 2x2 ODE System
C.2 MATLAB Program for the Solution of the
2x2 ODE System
C.3 MATLAB Program for the Solution of the 2x2 ODE System
Using ode23s and ode15s
Appendix D Alternative Forms of ODEs
Appendix E Spatial p Refinement
Appendix F Testing ODE/PDE Codes

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 1
Some Basics of ODE Integration

The central topic of this book is the programming and use of a set of li-
brary routines for the numerical solution (integration) of systems of initial
value ordinary differential equations (ODEs). We start by reviewing some
of the basic concepts of ODEs, including methods of integration, that are
the mathematical foundation for an understanding of the ODE integration
routines.

1.1 General Initial Value ODE Problem

The general problem for a single initial-value ODE is simply stated as

dy
= f (y, t), y(t0 ) = y0 (1.1)(1.2)
dt

where
y= dependent variable
t= independent variable
f (y, t) = derivative function
t0 = initial value of the independent variable
y0 = initial value of the dependent variable

Equations 1.1 and 1.2 will be termed a 1x1 problem (one equation in one un-
known). The solution of this 1x1 problem is the dependent variable as a function
of the independent variable, y(t) (this function when substituted into Equations
1.1 and 1.2 satisfies these equations). This solution may be a mathematical
function, termed an analytical solution.

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 To illustrate these ideas, we consider the 1x1 problem, from Braun1 (which
will be discussed subsequently in more detail)
dy
= λe −αt y, y(t0 ) = y0 (1.3)(1.4)
dt
where λ and α are positive constants.
Equation 1.3 is termed a first-order, linear, ordinary differential equation with
variable coefficients. These terms are explained below.

Term Explanation
Differential equation Equation 1.3 has a derivative dy/dt = f (y, t) = λe −αt y
Ordinary Equation 1.3 has only one independent variable, t, so that
the derivative dy/dt is a total or ordinary derivative
First-order The highest-order derivative is first order (dy/dt is
first order)
Linear y and its derivative dy/dt are to the first power; thus,
Equation 1.3 is also termed first degree (do not confuse
order and degree)
Variable coefficient The coefficient e −αt is a function of the independent
variable, t (if it were a function of the dependent
variable, y, Equation 1.3 would be nonlinear or not
first degree)

The analytical solution to Equations 1.3 and 1.4 is from Braun:1


λ
y(t) = y0 exp (1 − exp(−αt)) , y(0) = y0 (1.5)
α
where exp(x) = e x . Equation 1.5 is easily verified as the solution to Equations
1.3 and 1.4 by substitution in these equations:

Terms in Substitution of Equation 1.5

Equations 1.3 and 1.4 in Equations 1.3 and 1.4



dy λ λ
y0 exp (1 − exp(−αt)) (−exp(−αt))(−α)
dt α
α 
λ
= λy0 exp (1 − exp(−αt)) (exp(−αt))
α

λ
−λe −αt y −λe −αt y0 exp (1 − exp(−αt))
α
= =
0 0


λ
y(0) y0 exp (1 − exp(−α(0))) = y0 (e 0 ) = y0
α

thus confirming Equation 1.5 satisfies Equations 1.3 and 1.4.

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 As an example of a nxn problem (n ODEs in n unknowns), we will also
subsequently consider in detail the 2x2 system
dy1
= a 11 y1 + a 12 y2 y1 (0) = y10
dt
(1.6)
dy2
= a 21 y1 + a 22 y2 y2 (0) = y20
dt
The solution to Equations 1.6 is again the dependent variables, y1 , y2 , as a
function of the independent variable, t. Since Equations 1.6 are linear, constant
coefficient ODEs, their solution is easily derived, e.g., by assuming exponential
functions in t or by the Laplace transform. If we assume exponential functions

y1 (t) = c 1 e λt
(1.7)
y2 (t) = c 2 e λt
where c 1, c 2 , and λ are constants to be determined, substitution of Equations
1.7 in Equations 1.6 gives
c 1 λe λt = a 11 c 1 e λt + a 12 c 2 e λt
c 2 λe λt = a 21 c 1 e λt + a 22 c 2 e λt
Cancellation of e λt gives a system of algebraic equations (this is the reason
assuming exponential solutions works in the case of linear, constant coefficient
ODEs)
c 1 λ = a 11 c 1 + a 12 c 2
c 2 λ = a 21 c 1 + a 22 c 2
or
(a 11 − λ)c 1 + a 12 c 2 = 0
(1.8)
a 21 c 1 + (a 22 − λ)c 2 = 0

Equations 1.8 are the 2x2 case of the linear algebraic eigenvalue problem
(A − λI)c = 0 (1.9)
where  
a 11 a 12 ··· a 1n
 a 21 a 22 ··· a 2n 
 
A=  . .. .. 
 .. . . 
a n1 a n2 · · · a nn
 
1 0 ··· 0
0 1 ··· 0
 
I= . .. .. 
 .. . .
0 0 ··· 1

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

  
c1
 c2 
 
c=  . 
 .. 
cn
 
0
0
 
0= .
 .. 
0

n = 2 for Equations 1.8, and we use a bold faced symbol for a matrix or a
vector.
The preceding matrices and vectors are

A nxn coefficient matrix

I nxn identity matrix
c nx1 solution vector
0 nx1 zero vector

The reader should confirm that the matrices and vectors in Equation 1.9 have
the correct dimensions for all of the indicated operations (e.g., matrix addi-
tions, matrix-vector multiples).
Note that Equation 1.9 is a linear, homogeneous algebraic system (homoge-
neous means that the right-hand side (RHS) is the zero vector). Thus, Equation
1.9, or its 2x2 counterpart, Equations 1.8, will have nontrivial solutions (c =

0)
if and only if (iff) the determinant of the coefficient matrix is zero, i.e.,

|A − λI| = 0 (1.10)

Equation 1.10 is the characteristic equation for Equation 1.9 (note that it is a
scalar equation). The values of λ that satisfy Equation 1.10 are the eigenvalues
of Equation 1.9. For the 2x2 problem of Equations 1.8, Equation 1.10 is

a 11 − λ a 12
=0
a 21 a 22 − λ

or
(a 11 − λ)(a 22 − λ) − a 21 a 12 = 0 (1.11)

Equation 1.11 is the characteristic equation or characteristic polynomial for

Equations 1.8; note that since Equations 1.8 are a 2x2 linear homogeneous
algebraic system, the characteristic equation (Equation 1.11) is a second-order

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 polynomial. Similarly, since Equation 1.9 is a nxn linear homogeneous alge-
braic system, its characteristic equation is a nth-order polynomial.
Equation 1.11 can be factored by the quadratic formula

λ2 − (a 11 + a 22 )λ + a 11 a 22 − a 21 a 12 = 0

(a 11 + a 22 ) ± (a 11 + a 22 )2 − 4(a 11 a 22 − a 21 a 12 )
λ1 , λ2 = (1.12)
2

Thus, as expected, the 2x2 system of Equations 1.8 has two eigenvalues.
In general, the nxn algebraic system, Equation 1.9, will have n eigenval-
ues, λ1 , λ2 , . . . , λn (which may be real or complex conjugates, distinct or
repeated).
Since Equations 1.6 are linear constant coefficient ODEs, their general so-
lution will be a linear combination of exponential functions, one for each
eigenvalue

y1 = c 11 e λ1 t + c 12 e λ2 t
(1.13)
y2 = c 21 e λ1 t + c 22 e λ2 t

Equations 1.13 have four constants which occur in pairs, one pair for each
eigenvalue. Thus, the pair [c 11 c 21 ]T is the eigenvector for eigenvalue λ1 while
[c 12 c 22 ]T is the eigenvector for eigenvalue λ2 . In general, the nxn system of
Equation 1.9 will have a nx1 eigenvector for each of its n eigenvalues. Note
that the naming convention for any constant in an eigenvector, c i j , is the
ith constant for the jth eigenvalue. We can restate the two eigenvectors for
Equation 1.13 (or Equations 1.8) as

c 11 c 12
, (1.14)
c 21 λ1
c 22 λ2

Finally, the four constants in eigenvectors (Equations 1.14) are related

through the initial conditions of Equations 1.6 and either of Equations 1.8

y10 = c 11 e λ1 0 + c 12 e λ2 0
(1.15)
y20 = c 21 e λ1 0 + c 22 e λ2 0

To simplify the analysis somewhat, we consider the special case a 11 = a 22 =

−a , a 21 = a 12 = b, where a and b are constants. Then from Equation 1.12,

−2a ± (2a )2 − 4(a 2 − b 2 )

λ1 , λ2 = = −a ± b = −(a − b), −(a + b) (1.16)
2

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 From the first of Equations 1.8 for λ = λ1

(a 11 − λ1 )c 11 + a 12 c 21 = 0

or

(−a + (a − b))c 11 + bc 21 = 0
c 11 = c 21

Similarly, for λ = λ2

(a 11 − λ2 )c 12 + a 12 c 22 = 0

or

(−a + (a + b))c 12 + bc 22 = 0
c 12 = −c 22

Substitution of these results in Equations 1.15 gives

y10 = c 11 − c 22
y20 = c 11 + c 22

or

y10 + y20
c 11 = = c 21
2
y20 − y10
c 22 = = −c 12
2

Finally, the solution from Equations 1.13 is

y10 + y20 λ1 t y20 − y10 λ2 t

y1 = e − e
2 2
(1.17)
y10 + y20 λ1 t y20 − y10 λ2 t
y2 = e + e
2 2

Equations 1.17 can easily be checked by substitution in Equations 1.6 (with

a 11 = a 22 = −a , a 21 = a 12 = b) and application of the initial conditions at
t = 0:

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 dy1 y10 + y20 λ1 t y20 − y10 λ2 t
λ1 e − λ2 e
dt 2 2
y10 + y20 λ1 t y20 − y10 λ2 t
= −(a − b) e + (a + b) e
2  2
y10 + y20 λ1 t y20 − y10 λ2 t
+a y1 +a e − e
2 2 
y10 + y20 λ1 t y20 − y10 λ2 t
−by2 −b e + e
2 2
= =
0 0
dy2 y10 + y20 λ1 t y20 − y10 λ2 t
λ1 e + λ2 e
dt 2 2
y10 + y20 λ1 t y20 − y10 λ2 t
= −(a − b) e − (a + b) e
2  2
y10 + y20 λ1 t y20 − y10 λ2 t
+a y2 +a e + e
2 2 
y10 + y20 λ1 t y20 − y10 λ2 t
−by1 −b e − e
2 2
= =
0 0

For the initial conditions of Equations 1.6

y10 + y20 λ1 0 y20 − y10 λ2 0
y10 = e − e = y10
2 2
y10 + y20 λ1 0 y20 − y10 λ2 0
y20 = e + e = y20
2 2
as required.
The ODE problems of Equations 1.3, 1.4, and 1.6 along with their analytical
solutions, Equations 1.5 and 1.17, will be used subsequently to demonstrate
the use of the ODE integration routines and to evaluate the computed solu-
tions. Since these problems are quite modest (1x1 and 2x2, respectively), we
will also subsequently consider two problems with substantially more ODEs.
At the same time, these ODE systems will be considered as approximations
to partial differential equations (PDEs); in other words, we will use systems
of ODEs for the solution of PDEs.

1.2 Origin of ODE Integrators in the Taylor Series

In contrast to the analytical solutions presented previously (Equations 1.5 and
1.17), the numerical solutions we will compute are ordered pairs of numbers.
For example, in the case of Equation 1.3, we start from the pair (t0 , y0 ) (the
initial condition of Equation 1.3) and proceed to compute paired values (ti , yi )
where i = 1, 2, . . . is an index indicating a position or point along the solution.

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

 Taylor series (Equation 1.18), in this case, to Equation 1.19. In other words, εi
is the truncation error for Euler’s method, Equation 1.19.
We could logically argue that the truncation error could be reduced (for a
given h) by including more terms in the Taylor, e.g., the second derivative
term (d 2 yi /dt 2 )(h 2 /2!). Although this is technically true, there is a practical
problem. For the general ODE, Equation 1.1, we have only the first derivative
available
dyi
= f (yi , ti )
dt
The question then in using the second derivative term of the Taylor series
is “How do we obtain the second derivative, d 2 yi /dt 2 ?”. One answer would
be to differentiate the ODE, i.e.,


d2 y d dy d f (y, t) ∂ f dy ∂ f ∂f ∂f
= = = + = f + (1.20)
dt 2 dt dt dt ∂ y dt ∂t ∂y ∂t

Then we can substitute Equation 1.20 in Equation 1.18:


∂f ∂f h2
yi+1 = yi + f i h + f + (1.21)
∂y ∂t i 2!

where again subscript “i” means evaluated at point i.

As an example of the application of Equation 1.21, consider the model ODE

dy
= f (y, t) = λy (1.22)
dt
where λ is a constant. Then

f i = λyi


∂f ∂f
f + = λ (λyi )
∂y ∂t i

(note: ∂ f /∂t = 0 since f = λy does not depend on t) and substitution in

Equation 1.21 gives

h2
yi+1 = yi + λyi h + λ (λyi ) = yi (1 + λh + (λh)2 /2!)
2!
yi (1+λh +(λh)2 /2!) is the Taylor series of yi e λh up to and including the h 2 term,
but yi e λh is the analytical solution to Equation 1.22 with the initial condition
y(ti ) = yi for the integration step, h = ti+1 − ti . Thus, as stated previously,
Equation 1.21 fits the Taylor series of the analytical solution to Equation 1.22
up to and including the (d 2 yi /dt 2 )(h 2 /2!) term.
Of course, we could, in principle, continue this process of including ad-
ditional terms in the Taylor series, e.g., using the derivative of the second

Copyright 2004 by Chapman & Hall/CRC

Exploring the Variety of Random
Documents with Different Content
 A. (scornfully). Comfortably, mamma! You know how we had to
pinch ourselves. I could hardly afford one bonnet a year, and, as to
dresses, I had to wear them so long a time I was positively
ashamed. Other people make money by keeping boarders, and why
can’t we?
Mrs. J. You may be right, Amanda. But about the advertisement.
How shall we express it?
(Amanda sits down at the table and writes.)
A. How will this do, mamma? (Reads.)
Wanted.—A few first-class boarders, by a genteel family whose
object is to surround themselves by a pleasant social circle, rather
than to make money. Address “Boarders,” Herald office.
Mrs. J. But, my dear, my object is to make money.
A. Of course, mamma; but it sounds well to seem indifferent to it.
Mrs. J. Perhaps you are right. (A pause.) I wonder when the
advertisement will appear.
A. To-morrow morning, probably, and we may expect applications
at any time afterward.
Mrs. J. Then it would be best to fix on a price for board at once.
A. Yes, I suppose so.
Mrs. J. How would twelve dollars a week do?
A. It wouldn’t do at all. We couldn’t pay expenses.
Mrs. J. But I’m afraid if we charge such high prices we shall not be
able to fill our rooms.
A. That’s just the means to accomplish it. Many people judge of
the style and reputation of a house by the price asked. You ought to
insist on at least fifteen or twenty dollars for the best rooms, and a
little less for those not so desirable.
 Mrs. J. But that won’t correspond with the advertisement, where I
say I take boarders for company, rather than to make money.
A. I don’t think that will ever be noticed; but if it should, you can
say with truth, that you could not pay your expenses if you charged
less.
Mrs. J. Well, I hope we may be successful, for I have made such
an outlay in fitting up the house, that our income will this year be far
less than usual, and our expenses correspondingly larger.
A. There’s no doubt of our success. Three months from now we
shall be able not only to defray our necessary expenses, but also to
replace the money which you were obliged to draw to pay for the
furniture.
(Curtain falls.)

Scene II.—The same. Amanda, l., present. She is looking over

the morning paper. Enter Mrs. Jones, r.

Mrs. Jones. Ah, has the paper come, Amanda?

Amanda. Yes, and the advertisement is inserted, and reads well.
(Passes paper to her mother.)
Mrs. J. That seems to be right—(listens—sound of bell is heard).
But hark! Isn’t that the door bell?
A. Yes; I hope it may prove an applicant for board.
(Servant ushers in Mrs. Simperton and her daughter, l.)
Mrs. Simperton. This is Mrs. Jones, I believe.
Mrs. J. You are right. That is my name.
Mrs. S. (affectedly). I must introduce myself as Mrs. Simperton.
And this is my daughter, Isadora Malvina. (Mrs. J. bows.) We saw
your advertisement in this morning’s “Herald,” and when we called at
the office, were directed here.
Mrs. J. Yes, my daughter and myself wished for company. It is
rather lonely for two persons to live by themselves in a large house
like this, with no one near but servants.
Mrs. S. It must be so, and I do not wonder that you wish for
companions. My daughter and myself are thinking of boarding this
winter, and I wish to make some inquiries concerning your rooms. I
suppose they are newly furnished.
Mrs. J. Yes, they all contain new furniture.
Mrs. S. And is it black walnut, with marble tops to the bureau and
tables?
Mrs. J. Yes, a part of the rooms are furnished in that style.
Mrs. S. I suppose we could have our meals in our own rooms.
Mrs. J. (hesitating). Well—yes—perhaps it could be arranged so.
Mrs. S. And I suppose we could have them at whatever hour we
chose.
Mrs. J. I think so.
Mrs. S. That seems to be favorable. May I ask your terms?
Mrs. J. For my best rooms, with private meals, I should be obliged
to charge twenty dollars a week apiece. If the meals came at
unusual hours, it would be worth more.
Mrs. S. (with emphasis). Your charge is exorbitant. Such
accommodations are not worth more than half the sum you name.
Still I am willing to pay twenty-five dollars for both of us.
Mrs. J. I couldn’t think of such a thing. I shouldn’t be able to pay
my expenses at such low rates for board.
Mrs. S. I thought you didn’t keep boarders for profit, but only for
the sake of company.
 Mrs. J. That is very true. I don’t take boarders for profit, but
neither do I intend to take them at a loss. I shouldn’t consider their
company to be of sufficient value to compensate for that.
Mrs. S. Very well; I see we must look further. I don’t believe we
should be suited here. Come, Isadora Malvina. (Goes out, l., with a
lofty air, followed by her daughter.)
A. What airs people do put on sometimes! I’m glad she didn’t
decide to stay. I shouldn’t want her for a boarder at any price. (Bell
rings. Enter Count de Fripon, l.)
Count (with a polite bow). Can madame accommodate me with a
suite of rooms?
Mrs. J. I think so. What rooms do you desire?
C. I should like a chambre à coucher—what you call a bedroom;
also a parlor in which I could receive my friends.
Mrs. J. You would require board, too, I suppose.
C. Oui, madame,—yes, you are right. I should wish board for
myself, and sometimes I might bring a friend with me to dine.
Mrs. J. Certainly. We shall always be glad to see any of your
friends. In regard to terms—
C. (with a deprecating gesture). Pardon, madame, but—I never
trouble myself with these trifling matters. At the end of every month
you will send in your bill to me, and I shall pay it to you at once.
Mrs. J. That will be satisfactory. But what name shall I put down?
C. (with a courtly air). Count Henri de Fripon, madame. Here is my
card. (Passes it.)
Mrs. J. (bows, while a pleased smile overspreads her face). And
when would you like to come?
C. I shall come to you next Monday, in the morning. I have the
honor to wish you good day, madame; bon jour, mademoiselle.
(Exit, l., with low bow.)
 Mrs. J. That’s a boarder after my own mind. He never inquired the
terms, and will be ready to pay when the bill is presented. I wish we
might secure others of the same kind.
A. And he’s one of the nobility, too. His presence will give quite a
distinguished air to the house.
Mrs. J. Yes; he’s quite an acquisition. (Bell rings.) Besides, who
knows but—(Enter Miss Trist, l.)
Miss Trist. Good mornin’, ma’am. Good mornin’, miss. (Mrs. J. and
A. both bow.) I’ve come to see about gettin’ boarded.
Mrs. J. I think we can accommodate you. What kind of a room
would you like?
Miss T. It don’t make no sort o’ difference to me. I only want a
shelter. ’Taint likely I shall be spared long to need one.
Mrs. J. (with sympathy). Are you an invalid?
Miss T. No, I aint sick yet, but there’s no knowin’ how soon I may
be. My mother died young, and died suddenly, too. I expect to go in
the same way.
Mrs. J. I hope not. (A pause.) We have rooms which, with board,
vary from twelve to twenty dollars per week.
Miss T. My sakes! That’s an awful price, aint it? But then I might as
well spend my money for board as to leave it for my relations to
quarrel over.
Mrs. J. That certainly is a better way.
Miss T. (mournfully). Perhaps you wouldn’t think it, from my comin’
here to get boarded; but I’ve got three sisters and two brothers, and
they’re all watchin’ to see if I aint goin’ to get sick an’ die, so they
can have my money.
Mrs. J. You’d better come here to board, then. I dare say it would
be the means of prolonging your life.
 Miss T. Do you think so? I wish I could believe it, though (dismally)
I haint got nothin’ to live for. But then, if I aint to live long, it would
be a comfort to spend my last days in peace. I’ve had a great many
troubles and trials in my time.
Mrs. J. I am sorry to hear it.
Miss T. Yes, I lost my best friend just six days before we were to
be married. If he’d only lived one week longer, I might have been a
desolate relict instead of a lonely single woman.
Mrs. J. It must have been a great disappointment.
Miss T. Yes; but then ’twas my luck. I don’t place no dependence
on anything now. (Rising.) There’s no knowin’ what may happen;
but I’ll come, to stay, next Monday, if I’m alive an’ well.
(Exit, l.)
A. (drawing a long breath). Oh, I’m so glad she’s gone. I hope
something will happen to prevent her coming. It’s as dismal to have
her round as to be alone in the house on a drizzly day in November.
Mrs. J. We can’t refuse any one who is willing to pay our price. But
hark! some one is coming. (Enter Mr. Scott hurriedly.)
Mr. Scott (nervously). I have come to get boarded here madam.
(With deprecating gesture.) Don’t refuse me, for I shall certainly
commit suicide if you do. You see I’ve set my heart on boarding with
you and your charming daughter.
Mrs. J. (benignantly). There is no occasion for my refusing you.
We have still a few rooms left that are not engaged.
Mr. S. (in a hurried manner). And what are your terms—though
that will make no difference. I shall come, whatever they may be.
Mrs. J. We have one room, at fifteen dollars, that may perhaps
suit you.
Mr. S. (with a theatrical air). Fifteen dollars! Ask me not to pay
such a paltry sum. I would never pay less than twenty-five.
 Mrs. J. Very well, you can pay any sum you choose.
Mr. S. Then I choose to pay twenty-five dollars. But there’s
another inquiry that I wish to make. Can I have a piano in my room?
Mrs. J. There is a piano in the parlor, which the boarders are at
liberty to use when they feel inclined.
Mr. S. But that will not suit me. Perhaps I should wish to play
when some one else was using it. No, I must have one in my own
room. (Earnestly.) I’m willing to pay extra for it—five, fifteen, or
even fifty dollars a week, rather than not to have it.
Mrs. J. Certainly; if you are willing to pay for it I will have one put
into your room for you.
Mr. S. You relieve my mind greatly. I will be here to commence
boarding to-morrow. Here is my card. (Passes it.) Good-morning,
ladies.
(Exit hastily, l.)
A. What a strange man! It isn’t often that one meets with a
person who sets so little value on money.
Mrs. J. His name is as strange as his actions.
A. (with curiosity). What is it?
Mrs. J. Zachary Winfield Taylor Scott.
A. (with interest). Perhaps he is a son of General Scott. I’ve heard
it said that the families of great men are often eccentric.
(Bell rings. Enter Jethro Burbank, l.)
Jethro Burbank. I’ve come to see as how, could I get boarded.
Mrs. J. We have some rooms still vacant, if the price is such as to
suit you.
J. B. (unheeding her remark). You see, I’ve come all the way from
Hatchville, State of Maine, to see if I could get a situation here in the
city, and the fust thing is to get a boarding-place. What do you
calc’late to charge me now? Don’t set it too high.
Mrs. J. The lowest-priced rooms we have left are fifteen dollars
per week, with board.
J. B. Gewhittaker! That’s an all-fired big sum. You don’t mean
that’s your lowest price.
Mrs. J. Certainly. This is a first-class house, and we do not take
any boarders who can’t afford to pay our prices.
J. B. Wal, I don’t know what you call fust-class boarders, but
marm boards the schoolmaster, and the editor of the paper, and I
guess they aint second to nobody.
Mrs. J. (smiling). And what does she charge for board?
J. B. Wal, she charges jest two dollars a week. That’s what I call a
reasonable price. But I knowed that prices were higher in the city,
and I calc’lated I’d have to pay as much as five dollars; but to pay
three times that, is more than I can stand. Why, the price of a year’s
board would buy me a good farm down to Hatchville.
Mrs. J. Then I’m afraid you’ll have to go back there.
J. B. Wal, I shan’t give it up so. I’m going to try further.
(Exit J. B., l.)
A. It is getting late. I don’t believe we shall have any more
applicants to-day.
Mrs. J. You are mistaken, for here is one now.
(Enter Mrs. Westwood, l.)
Mrs. Westwood. Good-afternoon, ladies. Am I too late for a place?
Are your rooms all taken?
Mrs. J. No. We have several left. There are two in particular that I
think you would fancy. One is a very large and pleasant room. The
other is a little smaller.
 Mrs. W. Oh, I must have the large one, by all means.
Mrs. J. The larger one, with board, will be twenty dollars a week.
Mrs. W. Very well, I will pay it. I’ve got plenty of money at
present. My husband died a year ago, and left me with a large farm
and a quantity of stock. But I wasn’t going to be immured in a
dismal farm-house—not I. So I’ve sold the farm, and come to the
city to board till my money gives out. Perhaps then you’ll take me as
a partner in the boarding-house business.
Mrs. J. I find it takes considerable money, even for that business.
Mrs. W. Oh, well, I’ve got enough—a couple of hundred thousand
dollars. But I’m not ready to go in yet. I want to see a little of city
life first. If I meet a good-looking gentleman that invites me,
perhaps I shall become his partner instead of yours. But time will
show.
Mrs. J. What time would you like to commence?
Mrs. W. It might as well be now as any other time. I can send for
my trunks.
Mrs. J. Very well; I will show you the two rooms, though I think
you will prefer the larger one.
Mrs. W. Oh, I am sure I shall.
(Exit Mrs. J. and Mrs. W., l.)
A. (sola). Quite a number of the rooms are already engaged, and I
think we may congratulate ourselves on having made a good
beginning. How much better it will be to keep a genteel boarding-
house than to tend shop or keep school for a living.
(Curtain falls.)

Scene III.—The same. Mrs. Jones present, r. Enter Amanda, l.

Amanda. Did you send for me, mamma?

 Mrs. Jones. Yes. I think it is necessary for us to have a consultation
about our affairs.
A. (surprised). I thought you were getting along charmingly. I’m
sure the house is full of boarders at good prices, and has been ever
since we commenced. What more could you wish for?
Mrs. J. Everything would be quite satisfactory if the boarders
would only pay up promptly. But Mrs. Westwood and Miss Trist are
the only ones that I can depend on. The butcher and baker have
sent in heavy bills, and this morning I have received grocery and gas
bills, as well as bills for extra furniture that was required. Then, too,
a month’s rent is due for the piano in the parlor and that in Mr.
Scott’s room.
A. Ask Mr. Scott for the money due you for his board.
Mrs. J. I have done so repeatedly, but he has such a way of
evading it that I can’t get anything. Indeed, sometimes he gets so
excited that I am almost frightened, and glad enough to leave him,
even without my money.
A. But surely the count has paid you.
Mrs. J. Not a cent. I was to send in my bill three days ago, but
before I was able to do so he asked for an interview, and said that
he had been disappointed about receiving money which he
expected, and asked me to wait a week longer. He seemed so sorry
about it that I couldn’t help accommodating him.
Bridget (entering, r.). An’ did ye take the silver, mum? I haven’t
seen a sight of it since I left it on the table after cl’aning it this
morning.
Mrs. J. (surprised). I haven’t taken it away. Was the front door
locked?
B. Yis, I thried that same, an’ it was locked as usual. But jist as I
went to look if it was fast, the postman came, an’ brought this letter.
 Mrs. J. (opening it hastily, and glancing at signature). Why, this is
from the count. (Reads.)

“Dear Mrs. Jones: I write to let you know that I have

just received the money I expected, and which I was
only able to get by selling your silver, which I gathered
up this morning for that purpose. As the jeweller said
it wasn’t first quality, I got less than I hoped for, so I
sha’n’t be able to settle my board bill at present. You
will find the silver, also your daughter’s watch and
rings, at the shop of Willis and Turner. Yours,
“Count Henri de Fripon.”

A. (excited). What! My watch and rings. How could he have got

them?
B. Oh, the murtherin villain! An’ didn’t I tell Kate, the cook, that he
had too much blarny about him for an honest man?
Mrs. J. (troubled). What shall we do?
B. Send the perlice after him.
(Enter Miss Trist, L.)
Miss T. Oh, my poor head! I can’t stand it any longer.
Mrs. J. What’s the matter, Miss Trist?
Miss T. That Mr. Scott, whose room is right opposite mine, is all the
time playing on the piano. If it was sacred music I wouldn’t mind;
but it’s the quickest kind of dancing tunes.
A. Why don’t you knock at his door and tell him how much it
disturbs you? There is no one in the parlor, and he can play there all
the afternoon if he wishes.
Miss T. Perhaps I will do so, for I’m afraid I shall go distracted.
(Exit, l.)
 B. An’ I must tell ye, mum, that Katy an’ me’ll be afther lavin’ here
intirely, if our month’s wages aint paid by to-morrow.
Mrs. J. Very well, I will attend to it. You can go now. (Exit Bridget,
R.) I’m sure I don’t know what we’re going to do. I have received
two letters from Lawyer Snap about the last month’s rent. The
second one stated that if it was not paid immediately legal steps
would be instituted.
(At this moment hurried steps are heard, l., and Miss Trist rushes
into the room, closely followed by Mr. Scott; her cap strings flying,
and both hands are placed on her devoted head, as if fearing a blow
there. Her companion dashes madly after her, holding a heavy
music-book in a menacing way.)
Mrs. J. Miss Trist, Mr. Scott—what is the matter?
Mr. S. (standing still for a moment, speaks in a fierce manner).
That woman (looking toward Miss T.) has been tormenting me. I was
engaged in improvising music, an opera which would have far
exceeded anything that Verdi or Meyerbeer ever composed, and was
just arranging one of the most delicate passages, when that woman
knocked at my door. (Enter Sheriff and keeper by entrance back of
Mr. S.) Of course the interruption was fatal to my opera. And what
did she come for? Why, she wanted me to go to the parlor piano,
because my music disturbed her. And through her means, that divine
opera is lost to the world. (In a loud tone.) I will kill her! (more
fiercely) I will annihilate her! I will crush her to atoms! (Amanda
faints, Mrs. J. clasps her hands with a deprecating gesture, and Mr.
S. dashes after Miss T., who has sunk with a frightened air into a
chair in the farther corner. The Sheriff seizes Mr. S. from behind. The
latter struggles furiously, but vainly.)
Sheriff. Here, Randall, take charge of this man. He’s that lunatic
who escaped from the asylum six weeks ago. They’ve searched most
everywhere for him.
Mr. S. (who is quiet for a moment—with a smile). I was too
cunning for them. (Again furious.) You shall not restrain me. I must
annihilate that woman, and then finish my opera. (Randall takes Mr.
S., screaming and struggling furiously, from the room.)
Mrs. J. (to Sheriff). How can I thank you, sir, for delivering us from
that madman?
Sheriff. I am happy to have been of service to you in that way;
but my errand here was to give you trouble. (Mrs. J. looks
expectantly toward him. Mrs. Westwood enters, r.) I have been
instructed to levy an attachment on your furniture, on account of
your refusing to pay your rent.
Mrs. J. I am sorry it so happens. I depended on the money which
I was to receive from my boarders to pay my expenses; but, of
fifteen boarders, these two ladies are the only ones who have paid.
Mrs. W. (coming forward). That’s a shame. Mr. Sheriff, what’s the
amount of your bill?
Sheriff. Rent $125, and costs $25 more.
Mrs. W. Here’s the money, $150. Now give me a receipted bill.
Sheriff. Here is one, though I didn’t expect to need it (gives bill
and takes money). Thank you, ma’am.
(Exit Sheriff, l. Mrs. J. gazes in astonishment.)
Mrs. W. Mrs. Jones, what do your other unpaid bills amount to?
Mrs. J. About five hundred dollars.
Mrs. W. Well, I’ve got a proposal to make to you. In the first place,
however, I must explain a little. Do you remember hearing your
husband speak of his sister, Sarah Jane, who went to California to
become a teacher, some twenty odd years ago?
Mrs. J. Yes; she went away just before I became acquainted with
him. He frequently spoke of the circumstance; but the vessel was
wrecked, and he supposed, as he heard no further tidings, that she
must have been lost with the other passengers.
 Mrs. W. Well, she wasn’t lost, but returned a couple of months
ago, and now stands before you.
A. And are you my Aunt Sarah?
Mrs. W. Yes. I went, as you know, to San Francisco with the
intention of teaching, but on board the steamer I became
acquainted with Mr. Westwood, who had started for California to
seek his fortune. He and myself and one other passenger were the
only persons saved from the wreck. He persuaded me to abandon
my original plan, and marry him. I did so, and we went into the
country, where he bought a sheep ranch. He was prospered in all his
undertakings, and, last year, died, leaving me, by will, all he
possessed.
Mrs. J. But why haven’t you written to us in all these years?
Mrs. W. We were intending, from year to year, to come back soon
to surprise my brother, but circumstances constantly arose to
prevent it. After my husband died, I determined to come at once
and seek my relatives; but when I arrived I learned of my brother’s
death. I then sought a boarding-place, and in looking over the paper
met with your advertisement. Although the name was the same, I
had no idea you were his widow till I saw his portrait hanging in the
parlor. Though grown older, his features had not yet changed, and I
recognized him at once. I engaged board with you, thinking if I
enjoyed stopping here I would propose to become a permanent
member of your family. I now propose to take the house, pay your
debts and all the future expenses of house-keeping, in return for the
society of yourself and daughter. What do you say to the plan?
Mrs. J. I should be very glad to have it so, but I am afraid you do
not realize what you are taking upon yourself.
Mrs. W. Trust me for that. I know what I am about.
Mrs. J. Then there’ll be no more anxiety and worriment about
unpaid bills.
 A. And no desire to continue the experiment of Keeping Genteel
Boarders.
(Curtain falls.)
 MRS. SKINFLINT’S BARGAINS.
CHARACTERS.
Mrs. Skinflint, a very Parsimonious Woman.
Ezekiel Onthank, a Yankee Peddler.
Sarah Jane Hobbs, Ezekiel’s Sweetheart.
Mrs. Hobbs, Sarah Jane’s Mother.

Scene I.—Mrs. Skinflint’s sitting-room. Mrs. Skinflint, a tall,

bony woman, with a sharp, pinched face, is sitting in a
rocking-chair, c., knitting.

Mrs. Skinflint (soliloquizes). I declare I’ll never buy another thing

at Thompson’s store. I paid fifteen cents a yard for my last kaliker
dress, and Mis’ Hobbs bought one of a peddler yesterday, jest as
good, for thirteen cents and three quarters. It’s a shame! On twelve
yards I lost fifteen cents. That’s too much money to lose in these
hard times. I wish that peddler would come along. I need a sight o’
things, and if I couldn’t beat him down, my name aint Betsy Jane
Skinflint.
(A knock is heard at the door, r. Mrs. S. rises and opens it. The
visitor proves to be Ezekiel Onthank, a Yankee peddler, with a large
pack on his back. He enters.)
Ezekiel. Mornin’, marm. Anything in my line to-day? Dress-patterns,
hoop-skirts, shawls, laces, ribbons, jewelry, spectacles, buttons,
scissors, needles, pins—
Mrs. S. Massy sakes! don’t tell any more of ’em. I shall forget what
you sed fust. You haint got no good clocks, hev ye?
 Ezek. Haint I though! I kin beat everybody on clocks. I’ve got some
that cum clear from Switzerland. I imported ’em myself. Here’s one
(taking it from his pack), the pootiest and best little timepiece ever
you see.
Mrs. S. Does it keep good time?
Ezek. I guess it does—tip-top. It goes ahead of anything ever you
set your eyes on.
Mrs. S. (cautiously). What d’ye charge for it?
Ezek. (hesitating). Well, I hev been sellin’ on ’em all along for
twelve dollars apiece, but seein’ it’s you, I’ll let you have it for ten.
Mrs. S. (throwing up her hands). Ten dollars! D’ye think I’m made
o’ money? Besides, the clock aint wuth half that. But I don’t mind
givin’ you five for it.
Ezek. That don’t pay the cost of importin’ ’em; but, ef you’re goin’
to buy consider’ble, I’ll say five for it. What’s the next thing?
Mrs. S. I want ter git a pair o’ spettercles. As I was ridin’ to
meetin’, last Sunday, mine fell off, and the wheel run right over ’em,
and smashed the glass all to pieces. I cared more about ’em ’cause
they’d ben in the famerly so long. Marm and granny both used ’em
afore me.
Ezek. Mebbe they might be mended. Let’s see ’em.
(Mrs. S. produces a pair of heavy, iron-bowed spectacles. Ezekiel
looks at them dubiously.)
Ezek. I s’pose they might be fixed, but it’s my opinion ’twouldn’t
pay. Besides, the bows are too heavy to wear. Didn’t nobody ever
tell ye that wearin’ heavy-bowed specs sometimes made folks round-
shouldered?
Mrs. S. (straightening up). No. Dew tell!
Ezek. But I’ve got somethin’ here that’ll suit you to a T. Jest try ’em
on (handing her a pair of spectacles). That’s jest the article you
want.
Mrs. S. (trying them on and looking up). Well, they’re pooty fair.
But I s’pose you’ll charge as much as a dollar for ’em.
Ezek. A dollar! Why, woman alive, you don’t think I’d sell them
specs for a dollar. They’re the real genuine periscopic Scotch pebble.
They’re well wuth five dollars, but I shall only charge you three for
them. ’Taint often you can get such a good article so cheap.
Mrs. S. I’ll give you two dollars for ’em.
Ezek. No, I can’t afford to sell ’em so low. But I’ll tell you what I
will do. I’ll split the difference, and let you have ’em for two-fifty.
They’re very becomin’ to you—make you look ten years younger
than the others did.
Mrs. S. (smiling at the compliment). Well, I s’pose I shall have to
take ’em. But I shouldn’t think ’twould take you long to get rich at
that rate.
Ezek. The fact is, I’m growin’ poorer every day. I ought not to sell
my goods so cheap; but the wimmen have such captivatin’ ways that
I can’t resist ’em. What’s the next thing?
Mrs. S. Well, I want some caliker for a new gown. I bought
enough for one at Thompson’s, the other day; but I want another.
Ezek. I’ve got jest the thing for you (showing her a piece of calico
with stripes of red and yellow). That’s exactly your style, and it’s only
twelve and a half cents a yard.
Mrs. S. Will it wash?
Ezek. Like white cloth. I’ve sold yards and yards of that same
pattern. It takes so well that one factory don’t make nothin’ else.
Mrs S. Twelve and a half cents a yard is too much. I can’t afford it,
but I’ll give you a dollar for twelve yards.
Ezek. Couldn’t do it. Think of a nice dress pattern like that
(displaying the goods in a tempting manner) bein’ sold for a dollar.
No, marm, I can’t sell it any less.
 Mrs. S. (looking at it longingly). I’ll give you a dollar and a quarter.
Ezek. Well, as you’re taking consider’ble, I’ll let you have it for
that; but you mustn’t say nothin’ about it. Why, Mis’ Hobbs bought
some of it, and paid full price. I’m boardin’ there at Mis’ Hobbs’s.
She’s got a pooty daughter—that Sairy Jane. Between you and me,
that’s the reason I went to boardin’ there, for Mis’ Hobbs aint much
of a cook.
Mrs. S. (elated). I allers knew that. She never did hev much of a
bringin’ up (Mrs. S. passes him money.)
Ezek. (preparing to leave). Thank ye, marm. Well, aint there
sumthin’ more? You’ll want some hooks and eyes, and thread to
make your dress with, don’t ye?
Mrs. S. Oh, you’ll throw them in, won’t ye? The store people do.
Ezek. That’s askin’ a little too much.
Mrs. S. Well, I’ll tell you what I’ll do. I’ll give you a mince pie for
’em. I made some fresh ones to-day. What d’ye say? You know yer
boardin’-place aint anything to boast of.
Ezek. Well, I don’t mind doin’ it for once. (Mrs. Skinflint passes him
pie from the table.) But I think I’d better be goin’. It don’t pay much
to trade with you. You’re a deal too sharp. (Taking his pack, he
leaves the house.)
Mrs. S. (self-complacently soliloquizes). I think I did make a good
trade. Trust me for that. I saved enough on them trades to buy me a
set of furs, next winter. They don’t cost but eight dollars, and I
daresay I could get ’em for five. But there, it’s most twelve o’clock. I
must be gettin’ dinner ready.
(Exit.)
(Curtain falls.)
 Scene II.—A curtain arranged from front to back, dividing the
stage into sitting-room, l., and kitchen, r., as both must
be seen at once. There must be a door between. Mrs.
Hobbs is in the sitting-room, sewing, r. Mrs. Skinflint
enters, l.

Mrs. S. How d’ye do, Mis’ Hobbs?

Mrs. Hobbs. Why, how d’ye do, Mis’ Skinflint? I’m glad to see you.
Sit right down in the rockin’-chair, do. (She sits down, l.) It’s a
pleasant evenin’.
Mrs. S. Yes, very pleasant. I cum over this evenin’, Mis’ Hobbs, to
see if there’s a peddler stoppin’ here. I bought a clock of one, this
mornin’, and he sed he boarded here. The clock don’t go, and I want
him to come and fix it, or give me another one.
Mrs. H. Yes, that’s him; jest come into the kitchen. He’ll be right
in, I guess. He always sits in here, evenin’s.
(Just then voices are heard in the kitchen. Sarah Jane is seen knitting,
l. Ezekiel enters, r.)

Sarah Jane. Well, what adventures have you had to-day, ’Zekiel?
Ezek. The richest was with Mis’ Skinflint. Mis’ Deacon Pettengill told
me she was as mean as dirt (here Mrs. S. starts, but, on second
thoughts, waits to hear what is coming next. Mrs. Hobbs smiles,
grimly), and I thought I see if I couldn’t sarcumvent her.
S. J. What did you do?
Ezek. I offered her a clock for twelve dollars, and she beat me
down to five. I usually sell ’em for a dollar and a half.
S. J. I suppose ’twasn’t worth even that.
Ezek. It doesn’t go much, but when it does, it makes up for lost
time. Then she wanted some spettercles. She took a pair for two
dollars and a half that I generally get seventy-five cents for; but I’ll
warrant they won’t magnify any too much, for there’s nothing but
winder-glass in ’em.
Mrs. S. (emphatically). The villain!
S. J. You was rather too bad, ’Zekiel.
Ezek. Not at all. She bought some calico, and asked if it would
wash. I told her it would wash like white cloth, and I guess ’twill.
After two or three washings, there won’t be a bit of color left in it.
Mrs. S. Oh, the wretch! Won’t I give it to him! (Mrs. Hobbs smiles.
She evidently enjoys the scene.)
Ezek. But the cream of the joke was that she wanted some hooks
and eyes and a spool of thread, and gave me a mince pie for them. I
tasted it, but it was such wretched stuff that I couldn’t eat it, so I
threw it into the river for the fishes.
(Mrs. Skinflint dashes into the kitchen with arms akimbo. Ezekiel
shrinks back with mock terror. Sarah Jane and her mother come
forward, smiling, to see what will be done.)
Mrs. S. What do you mean, you wretch, by cheatin’ me in such a
way?
Ezek. I didn’t cheat you. You tried to keep me from gettin’ any
profit on my goods. I put a price on them, and you could take them
or not, as you pleased. You was willin’ to pay what I asked for them;
so I don’t see how I cheated you.
Mrs. S. You didn’t tell me the truth about ’em (furiously). Then you
called the nice pie I gave you wretched stuff. I shouldn’t ’a thought
of givin’ it to you ef ye hadn’t said you didn’t git anythin’ fit to eat
here.
Mrs. H. (starting forward). What’s that? What did he say?
Mrs. S. (gloating over her discomfiture). He said you wasn’t much
of a cook, and, ef it warn’t for courtin’ Sairy Jane, he couldn’t stand
it boardin’ here.
 Mrs. H. (to Ezek.). So that’s the way you repay my kindness in
taking you in, is it, you miserable villain? I’m mad enough to pull
your hair—if you only had enough to pull.
Ezek. (glancing sideways at her). I shouldn’t dare to pull yours,
marm, for fear ’twould come off in my hand.
Mrs. H. (advancing with a threatening air, and catching up the
tongs as she goes). Get out of the house, you insultin’ creature, and
never let me set eyes on you again!
(Ezekiel goes out as if in fear, r., slyly beckoning to Sarah Jane to go
too. She nods and goes out by another door, r. Mrs. Hobbs throws
Ezekiel’s pack after him.)
Mrs. H. (going toward Mrs. S. with tongs upraised). Now, old
Skinflint, do you go too. You’ve made mischief enough here. I don’t
blame the man for throwin’ your miserable pie away. I hope it wont
pizen the fishes.
Mrs. S. (looking back as she goes out, r.). I guess you’ll find
you’ve got enough to look after, without ’tendin’ to your neighbors’
business (pointing). There goes Sairy Jane with that peddler’s arm
round her waist.
(Exit Mrs. Skinflint from one door, r., while Mrs. Hobbs dashes out
from another, r. Curtain falls.)
 MRS. GRUNDY’S TYRANNY.
CHARACTERS.
Mr. Charles Goodenow, ⎫
Mr. Edward Henderson, ⎬ Merchants.
Mr. Frank Burley, ⎭
Mrs. Burley, Mr. Burley’s Wife.
Mrs. Stockbridge, ⎫
Mrs. Burley’s Friends.
Mrs. Wheeler, ⎭
James, A Customer.
Bridget Murphy, ⎫
Owners of Fruit Stands.
Kate O’Callahan, ⎭

Scene I.—Charles Goodenow, r., sits in a chair, tipped back,

gazing thoughtfully into the upper distance. His head
rests upon his hands which are clasped behind it. Enter
Frank Burley, l.

Frank. Hallo, Charlie. In the land of dreams? If so I won’t disturb

you.
Charles (not answering immediately). Not exactly dreaming. There
was too much reality about my thoughts for that. But sit down,
Frank.
F. (sitting down). And what were you thinking about, if I am
allowed to ask?
C. I was thinking what slaves we were to Fashion and Mrs.
Grundy. I don’t know of one of my acquaintances who would have
courage enough to do anything which would conflict with the usages
of so-called good society.
F. Don’t include me in that category. I have too much
independence to be subject to the dictation of others.
C. You think so, my dear fellow; but you don’t realize your own
weakness.
F. On the contrary, I am confident of my strength, and am willing
to wager you one hundred dollars against fifty that I will follow out
any plan you may promise to test my courage.
C. I accept the stakes, and feel sure of winning them. Now what
shall the plan be? Let me see. (Covers face with his hands for a
moment—pauses.) I have it. Frank, you must tend a peanut and
apple stand in the Park for one whole day.
F. (quickly). I am willing to do it.
C. (emphatically). Remember, you must tend it the whole day
long, without absenting yourself for any cause, except to take an
hour for dinner.
F. I agree to that; nay, I will go further, and will promise to dine at
the stand.
C. When shall the trial take place?
F. As soon as possible, that you may know how well I shall
succeed. Let to-morrow be the day.
C. Very well; but there is to be one condition about the matter. No
one must suspect your reasons for doing this, as, in that case, there
would be no test at all. If you even hint anything about it, you will
lose the wager.
F. I agree to that.
C. Well, I’ll call round on you to-morrow, occasionally, to see how
you make out in the new business.
(Curtain falls.)
 Scene II. In the Park. Two apple-stands at the back of stage.
They are several feet apart, and presided over by Bridget
Murphy, r., and Kate O’Callahan, l. Enter Frank Burley, who
stands a little in front, but between them, gazing first at
one and then at the other.

Mrs. O’Callahan (rising—with her knitting in her hand). Some

peanuts, sir, or apples—nice apples three cents apiece?
Mrs. Murphy (wiping apples on apron). Here’s where you’ll find
your nice apples—three cents apiece, and a good deal bigger than
the other woman’s.
F. (approaching Mrs. M.’s stand). What will you sell your whole
stock to me for, my good woman?
Mrs. M. (regarding him attentively). And what do the likes of you
want of it?
F. I want to buy your stock, and tend this stand to-day.
Mrs. M. (doubtfully). Honor bright?
F. Yes. To-morrow you can have it back again, and I’ll give you the
stock that’s left over.
Mrs. M. (shrewdly). What’ll you give for it?
F. I don’t know what it’s worth, but I’ll give you ten dollars for the
lot.
Mrs. M. (quickly). You can have ’em all for that.
Mrs. O’C. That’s four times more’n they’re all worth.
Mrs. M. You’d better mind yer own business, O’Callahan. There
comes a boy that wants an apple maybe. (Boy comes in, looks at
apples and passes out.)
F. You’ll have to tell me how you sell the things. I don’t know
anything about the prices.
 Mrs. M. The apples are three cents apiece. Some of the peaches
are three cents, and some two cents, and them bananas are ten
cents apiece. If you sell a dozen of ’em at once, you’ll sell at a little
less price.
F. That’ll do. I guess I shall get along well now.
Mrs. M. Shan’t I lend you my apron to shine the apples with?
F. No, I thank you; I guess they look well enough.
(Mrs. M. went out, l., going past Mrs. O’C.’s stand, and holding the
bill which she had received exultingly towards her. James enters, l.)
James (to O’C.). How do you sell your apples?
Mrs. O’C. Three cents apiece.
J. (to F.). How do you sell yours?
F. Two cents apiece.
J. Well as yours are bigger and lower priced I’ll take four of them.
(Takes them and pays for them and exit.)
(Several other persons pass in and buy of Frank, to all of whom he
sells under price.)
Mrs. O’C. (coming towards him with threatening gestures). What
do you mean by coming here, and interfering with a respectable
woman?
F. I am not interfering with you.
Mrs. O’C. Aint you, though? I call it interferin’ with my rights when
you come and sell your apples under price.
F. I’ll tell you what it is, my good woman, I’ve sold most of my
apples, and I will buy some of yours.
Mrs. O’C. (somewhat mollified). And what’ll ye pay me for them?
F. Three cents apiece.
 Mrs. O’C. (surprised). And you’re goin’ to sell ’em agin for two
cents?
F. Yes, there’s nothing like keeping trade lively.
Mrs. O’C. Well, you’re the quairest man I ever did see.
(Curtain falls.)

Scene III.—Mrs. Burley’s parlor. Mrs. B. present, r. Mrs.

Stockbridge and Mrs. Wheeler enter l. They cross the room
and shake hands cordially with Mrs. B.

Mrs. Stockbridge. How do you do, my dear Mrs. Burley?

Mrs. Wheeler (to Mrs. B.) How do you do? I am delighted to see
you looking so well.
Mrs. Burley. Thank you; I am well, and glad to see you both. Take
seats, won’t you?
Mrs. S. (aside to Mrs. W.) She doesn’t know of it, I’m sure. (To
Mrs. B.) Have you heard the news about Mr. Walters?
Mrs. B. (interested.) No. What is it?
Mrs. S. He is hopelessly insane.
Mrs. B. That is very sad. But what was the cause?
Mrs. S. Overwork, I believe. Is it not so, Mrs. Wheeler?
Mrs. W. That is the report, and it is said his wife doesn’t dare to be
alone with him.
Mrs. S. I heard that, yesterday, he jumped from a window in the
second story, and injured himself very much.
Mrs. B. How shocking!
Mrs. W. He said he intended to kill himself, and was sorry he
didn’t.
 Mrs. B. No wonder his wife feels timid. I dare say he will make
another attempt at suicide.
Mrs. W. There’s no doubt of it. In fact he told his wife so.
Mrs. S. He has threatened her life too; several times I believe. (To
Mrs. B. in significant tone.) By the way, Mrs. Burley, is your husband
well?
Mrs. B. (startled). Certainly. But why do you ask?
Mrs. S. Oh, I merely inquired.
Mrs. B. But you had some motive in asking. What was it?
Mrs. S. Tell her, Mrs. Wheeler.
Mrs. W. Oh, it’s nothing I dare say. Still, some things look a little
singular.
Mrs. B. (anxiously). Pray explain.
Mrs. S. Was your husband at home to dinner to-day?
Mrs. B. No, he said he should be too busy, and would dine down-
town.
Mrs. S. He didn’t state the nature of his business, did he?
Mrs. B. No, but I supposed he was detained at the store. Do you
know anything of it?
Mrs. S. Yes; he’s been tending an apple-stand all day to-day.
Mrs. B. (surprised). It cannot be. You are surely mistaken.
Mrs. S. Not at all. It has been the town talk.
Mrs. B. (meditatively). It is very strange.
Mrs. S. Insanity is not hereditary in your husband’s family, is it?
Mrs. B. Oh, no; and yet—let me see. Yes, I am sure he told me
that his grandfather died insane. But Frank never could be in such a
state. He has too strong a mind for that.
Mrs. S. Still, you can’t help thinking it is a little singular.
 Mrs. B. Ye—es. But I cannot credit it. It seems impossible.
Mrs. W. Suppose you walk down to the Park and satisfy yourself.
Mrs. B. (eagerly). I will do so if you will go with me. I am too
nervous to go alone.
Mrs. S. We are willing to accompany you. Is it not so, Mrs.
Wheeler?
Mrs. W. Certainty. We could not desert you while you are in such
trouble.
Mrs. B. (excitedly). I will get my bonnet at once. I will not detain
you but a moment.
(Exit Mrs. B., r. Curtain falls.)

Scene IV.—Same as Scene II., except that Mr. B. has charge of

Mrs. Murphy’s stand. Enter James, who examines fruit at
each of the stands. Mrs. B. and two companions are seen
at side entrance, l., looking furtively at Mr. B. They talk
aside.

Mrs. S. Arc you satisfied that it is he?

Mrs. B. Yes, it is certainty Frank; but (perplexed) what can he be
there for?
Mrs. S. Why don’t you ask him?
Mrs. B. I hardly know what to do.
Mrs. S. There are two gentlemen coming. Wait and see what they
say.
(Enter Mr. Goodenow and Mr. Henderson. Mrs. B. beckons to
policeman, and talks with him.)
Mr. Henderson. Hallo, Mr. Burley; haven’t you got into a new
business?
 Mr. B. Yes, I have (smiling).
Mr. H. (quizzically). How do you enjoy it?
Mr. B. Very much, of course, or I should not have entered into it.
Mr. H. Going to make a permanent business of it?
Mr. B. Can’t tell till I have tried it a week or two.
Mr. H. (amused). Burley, you play your part well, that’s a fact.
Mr. B. (in apparent surprise). Play my part well! What do you
mean?
Mr. H. Well, this is what I’ve got to say: If you are not tending this
stand you must be insane. (Turning to Mr. G.) Don’t you think so,
Goodenow?
Mr. Goodenow. It looks like it, certainly. (Enter Mrs. G. and her
friends, l.) Ah! here comes Mrs. Burley.
(Mr. G. and Mr. H. gaze at them with curiosity. Mr. B. looks
apprehensively.)
Mrs. B. What are you doing, Frank?
Mr. B. Tending an apple-stand, my love.
Mrs. B. And pray what do you mean by disgracing your family in
such a way?
F. I don’t see any disgrace about it. A dollar earned in this way is
as good as one gained in Pearl street.
Mrs. O’C. (who has been listening interestedly). An’ it’s little
enough money you’ll make out of this business. Sure an’ the sooner
you give up yer stand the richer you’ll be.
James (to F.). Here you, I say give me two of them bananas. (Pays
for them, and exit, eating.)
Mrs. B. (aside to ladies). Well, I can’t bear this any longer.
Something must be done.